If someone is at the stage of unhealed pain where they are drawing life threatening illnesses, they may not have enough desire in their authentic self to live and it is there sovereign choice to die, of course. But most people don’t see this as a sovereign choice. Again, they see it as the “evil” of cancer and project onto it all their fears when it is actually unhealed emotional wounding that does the damage.
Jillian: Hello, Mother. Not sure how long this will be today because I hurt my back yesterday and am in some pain. It seems to be getting worse and I’m pretty immobilized although I can type on this computer while I am still laying in bed.
Divine Mother: Hello, Jillian. I can feel your pain and I’m sorry for it. Why do you feel that you hurt it?
J: The physical reason is that I strained it while picking up a heavy laundry basket yesterday and perhaps the back muscles were already weak or injured during my workout yesterday. The emotional reason is what I am still feeling through. Can I feel that with you?
DM: Of course. I love how SoulFullHeart holds physical ailments as connected to the emotional and spiritual bodies. As the sacred human is an interconnected being in the important domains of emotional, spiritual, and physical.
J: We also include social and livelihood in there as well. I was in the medical field for over five years and spent half of that working with cancer patients. My sense is that all diseases, injuries, and ailments have a root cause that is emotional and spiritual in nature. Modern medicine was so frustrating to me because it only addressed the physical causes and, especially with something as complex as cancer, it just is so shortsighted.
DM: What did you feel is going on with cancer?
J: It wasn’t until I was awakened to my own emotional body through parts work that I began to feel what is going on there. I feel it is subconscious wounding, both emotional and spiritual, that creates the mutation in someone’s cells that leads to cancer. Even if there is a concrete physical cause, such as getting lung cancer from smoking cigarettes, emotional wounding in the person drew them to smoke, an activity that they knew would be very harmful to them some day. I feel that someone who is healing their emotional wounding through parts work would not draw a disease such as cancer because their authentic self would not want to die.
DM: So it’s the part of them that wants to die that draws a deadly illness?
J: I feel this is deeply subconscious, but yes, this is what I feel happens. There is an existential piece here too. I feel that people’s daemons who don’t want to be here and are tired of dealing with humans can draw illness in order to ‘end’ their time here. Without negotiation with their daemons or other parts, people don’t have a way to navigate their own illness and so play victim to it, which the medical industry is just happy to jump in on. It’s an extremely toxic cycle.
DM: So if you drew cancer, you would get in touch with your daemon to feel what is going on there and your other parts as well?
J: That would be the first thing I would do, yes. If someone is at the stage of unhealed pain where they are drawing life threatening illnesses, they may not have enough desire in their authentic self to live and it is there sovereign choice to die, of course. But most people don’t see this as a sovereign choice. Again, they see it as the “evil” of cancer and project onto it all their fears when it is actually unhealed emotional wounding that does the damage.
DM: So, again, you are offering that someone with a healthy emotional body and a growing authentic self would not draw life threatening illnesses to themselves?
J: This is my sense of it. I can’t know this is true, but I sure would love for more people to be open to that possibility. I imagine that someday we will serve someone who has an illness, physical or mental, and the possibility of healing is something that I would be very desirous of.
DM: What you are saying feels true to me. Cancer or other illnesses are seen as evils that need to be ‘fought’ and often with means that are very toxic to the body and cost a lot of money. I don’t feel that anything created in the natural world is evil, even mutant cells such as cancer. It is a mystery to me why it happens yet you are shedding some light onto that which is helping me understand it more.
J: It’s interesting for me when you take in something that I am offering. It feels good.:)
DM: I am always learning, Jillian. I am ever curious and I certainly don’t want to hold the answers to everything. So, now that we’ve talked on a bigger picture about this, what do you feel is going on for you personally with your back injury?
J: I immediately felt that it was related to all the change and transition happening right now. I’ve been busier the last few weeks than I’ve been in many months, which usually leads to something slowing me down again. I was just starting to slow down for the holidays and with my daughter visiting and then I hurt my back, which is ‘forcing’ me to rest and take it easy. I have a pattern of drawing injuries during major life transitions and the last time I hurt my back was during a major one about six years ago. I am quite healthy most of the time, only get a cold very rarely, but when I do get injuries, it’s usually related to change.
DM: Is it part of you resisting the change?
J: Could be. Or that part of me wants to be felt more and if I’m not so busy then I can respond and feel myself more. I also felt that it is vulnerable for me to need Wayne so much to help me with basic things and in the kitchen. When I strained my wrist in July (again during a major transition when we were moving into this house), I felt the part of me that likes to manage life and keep it organized. I had to have Wayne help me take a shower and do everything and it was vulnerable even as it increased the intimacy between us.
DM: I can feel how that would be vulnerable for you and yes, I can feel the tenderness growing between the two of you as you allow yourself to need him more. This would be more than enough good reason to experience some back pain.
J: This is why I feel it is so helpful to feel into why the body situation has happened…because it moves us out of victim mode and into feeling what the opportunity is and what the injury or illness is offering us. With people in SoulFullHeart, we will have them journal with the body part or medical condition such as asthma or allergies to feel into what the condition is trying to ‘tell them’. The voice of the disease or body part can be very clear about communicating emotional needs or unhealed wounds or lifestyle changes that need to happen. I so wish modern medicine could embrace something like that. I feel it would help so many people.
DM: It’s an immediate empowerment for someone as they become able to communicate and, as you said, negotiate, with their medical condition or injury.
J: Exactly. We are meant to be empowered in our lives and we experience that by healing the subconscious wounding that takes our power away without us even being aware of it.
DM: This is an inspiring conversation today, Jillian. Made all that more impressive considering that you are in bed and in pain right now.
J: But, laying here and needing to be still is actually helping the words flow! See, there’s another gift of it.
DM: Yes, I can feel that! Take care of yourself today, my daughter. I’ll be sending my love and healing energies to you today.
J: Thank you, Mother. I’ll be taking them in.
In this blog series, 90 Days With Divine Mother, I share my daily, unedited, journal conversation between myself, Jillian Vriend,and the Divine Mother. The Divine Mother is the feminine aspect of the Divine or female God, a consciousness which is easily accessible to connect with, especially during these troubled times of transition and urgent need for awakening consciousness. The Divine Mother appears in different faces and energies, including the face of Kuan Yin, Dark Mother, Magdalene, Mother Mary, and others. For more about the Divine Mother, you can also read Jillian Vriend’s book In The Arms of Mother: Healing Through Conscious Connection With The Divine Mother and Introducing The SoulFullHeart Way Of Life on soulfullheartbooks.com, Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.