By Wayne Vriend
Staying where you are is a settler’s picture, and it is all right and good when the stars are aligned for that. Settling follows journey though, and is a reward and a natural sequence of rest following a great undertaking. People in your culture find no joy or depth of meaning in their settling and instead get jacked up on religion, materialism, and pop culture because their settling wasn’t preceded by any journey of heart and passion. They’re just doing time in the culture they were born into.
Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.
Yeshua – Hey Wayne, Good Morning.
W – Summers definitely here, a bit on the early side of it, but it’s here. The morning birdsong is really sweet.
Y – Cool. What’s cooking now?
W – Well, this is a daily ride already, daily ups and downs. Yesterday was an opened out feeling after our talk and then a contraction of mourning and what felt like a fear, even some tears, but I think the word ‘contraction’ better describes it than a fear, though there is definitely concern for how we will be around food and shelter and safety.
Y – What was the contraction over?
W – It felt like some sadness over letting go of the place we’ve made home, our attachment to it, the comfort in it. Jillian and I have been in the Motorhome RV we call Terra for 5 months now, and it’s just been getting to a place where part of me really likes the ease and simplicity of it, the easy budget, the reduced efforts around chasing fiat currency, the trees, the creek, the ocean.
Y – I love how you guys are so current with your feelings. You wouldn’t be able to walk this out with a bunch of unfelt and unhealed reactions clogging your heart.
W – Thank you, Yeshua. I’ve had that very same feeling. It feels good to let in that we have come a long ways, that we have achieved something, that we reached for something that mattered in pursuing our own emotional healing and especially the letting go of what stood in the way of that. It’s hurt like hell at times, but the rewards have been present tense.
Y – It doesn’t get talked about because it has been so off radar. Hell, it was off my radar. Being in shape emotionally takes work and choice and a way of life to support that. It’s what’s next for humanity.
W – You said a moment ago ‘being able to walk this out?’ Can you tell me more about what this is?
Y – You don’t know?
W – I know what I don’t know.
Y – I like that answer. 🙂 THIS is a growth in discovery, beginning from where you are right now, where desire and choice are emerging into your consciousness, precipitating more desire and the contractions you refer to. It’s a process that you surrender to, that changes you as you go. You can’t linearly and literally know what this is, but you can feel it and respond to it in real and grounded ways where the heart is leading and clarity is following and trailing close behind. It’s like we talked about before…….you can’t steer a parked car. It begins with motion.
W – I like what you said yesterday, or was it me? That you can’t embark on a journey and stay where you are.
Y – I said that.
W – I thought it was me.
Y – Well, we’re wrapped up in this pretty closely. Maybe we both downloaded it and one of us spoke it. Speaking prophetically is as easy as falling off a log when you open your heart and let out your desire.
W – I’m learning that and liking that. Somehow though that simple statement about staying or leaving hits me deeply. Can you say more in that prophetic energy of yours?
Y – Staying where you are is a settler’s picture, and it is all right and good when the stars are aligned for that. Settling follows journey though, and is a reward and a natural sequence of rest following a great undertaking. People in your culture find no joy or depth of meaning in their settling and instead get jacked up on religion, materialism, and pop culture because their settling wasn’t preceded by any journey of heart and passion. They’re just doing time in the culture they were born into.
W – I feel that in myself with all the journeying I’ve done this life. I heard it said years ago that all of life is essentially about entering and leaving. I like that because it makes sacred in our awareness all the stages and phases of life, even how we enter and hopefully leave times of darkness, or being asleep to deeper reality, both personally and collectively.
Y – It’s really coded deep into human life. Every human life is a journey, starting with a cell or two. Desire leads it on. Contractions are not intended to arrest the journey, but to open it out to deeper meaning and fulfillment. The divine is seeking its own fulfillment through you. The fullness that fills all in all and all that.
W – For me personally, I feel I’m approaching a ceiling in my growth where to remain too much longer in this culture and country of my birth seems to be grating against my next growth edge. And it’s getting really boring and uninteresting as well.
Y – So what’s your sense of what’s at stake?
W – Well, that’s emerging more than it is here for me in stark clarity, but what I can feel right now is I know I am meant to inhabit a deeper passion, a deeper leadership, a deeper soul energetic that people around can feel that compels them to drop their own facades and false gods. I’m having trouble doing that where I am also invested in the settler’s making ends meet picture, and fitting into some charismatic leader picture that draws a following.
Y – I say fuck the charismatic leader picture, Wayne. Charisma, as it’s become known today is almost a hundred percent bullshit. The era of the charismatic leader is over and it’s not selling like it used to. It was a good ride while it lasted, but mostly in the sense that it brought us collectively to a readiness to abandon that ship and seek a much more seaworthy vessel for the journey of our lives. Realness will soon be the only currency that spends in the domains of what actually matters.
W – Okay then. Fuck that picture. I really spent a long time in my life imagining myself as a sought after and famous charismatic leader. My buy-in into Christianity this life and others was mostly about that I can feel now, to be about ‘what really mattered,’ and to be well known for that.
Y – It may well be in your soul path, Wayne, to be well known at some point, but right now, every well known leader is in the middle of a collective bullshit detector shit storm where humanity is growing up and owning their own responsibility to follow their own lead. If you can lead in that, whoever follows, in whatever number, won’t lack for any meaning or fulfillment.
W – So we’re in the midst of these ideological journeys as a species that involve leaving safe shores and letting die things that were really treasured and revered…
Y – …that mirrors the physical journey you guys are feeling called to. The journey you take always manifests itself in real life action and choice. Deadness and boredom are a manifestation of remaining somewhere when you are called to leave. Leaving is the path to re-engagement.
W – Yeshua, what about the folks, though, that relate to travel or leaving as some medication to their unfelt emotional pains?
Y – Yeah, like the Christians who can’t wait for the rapture.
W – Exactly, or the folks who can’t wait for their next package ‘vacation.’
Y – Only people who are stuck see travel as a dream, or a medication for their pain. You’ve dealt to a pretty high degree with your stuckness this life having finished up with Christianity and a marriage that was complete and a self image that was running out of gas in all of that. Leaving a culture behind that you are considering now isn’t a travel package; it’s a next step into life. You’re not vacating something that you plan to return to, your leaving something behind for good, because it gets burned up as you go. There’s nothing to return to. That’s why parts of you, of course, have their necessary contraction reaction. It’s no different really than leaving the womb.
W – You’re a lot to take in, Yeshua.
Y – Did you get that point? – contractions precede birthings.
W – I know you can’t quit…yes, I need to take in that point…thank you. Thank you for your willingness to digest and feel this whole emerging trajectory with me. I feel this whole thing can be so much more lovingly navigated than what part of me imagines it to be at times.
Y – Well, like you said, this is a mission first to every part of yourself. In the end, you’re the only person you can save.
W – Is that true?
Y – Let’s save that for another day.
In this blog series, Mission To Me Journal, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversations with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer Wayne’s process and digestions with Yeshua as he undergoes internal and external preparation to hit the road with his wife Jillian and Christopher Tydeman to explore and eventually settle in Mexico and/or Central America in October 2014 to offer service and conscious community. Read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher and Ending The Money Madness With Wayne And Yeshua for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.