Starting in recent weeks, every night has carried with it an intensity in my heart, energetic field and body. I feel as if I am surrounded. I dream very intense, very real-feeling dreams. I also feel energies moving up and down my body, both on the inside and outside. My sleep is often interrupted as these energies move through and there is a feeling of my bedroom being very full of beings, energetics, shapes, colours, and the imprints of the dreams I’ve been having that feel more like walking something out than anything intangible. I don’t always remember every detail, but I do keep the feeling of it all within me, and quite often, as I do right now, I feel “cleaned out” by morning somehow.
I remember having a dream last night that felt personal and global. I was moving through a romantic relationship that wasn’t deep but for part of me was “enough” simply because he gave me “just” enough attention and affection. I was in the process of leaving the bond because I had plans to move somewhere far away and we knew we wouldn’t be able to continue our relationship. At the last minute though, I wanted to change my mind about leaving, even though my gut and heart both said that I actually wasn’t deeply satisfied by this bond anyways and was actually ready to move on from it. It felt as if I was trying to deny my destiny. When I tried to tell him about changing my mind and wanting to stay with him, he had already detached from me and I was already fading from his life and awareness. Just before I woke up I had been trying desperately to get his attention again. This feels like a pattern I’ve lived out in a few relationships but also, it feels like this is what is happening or about to happen in relationships of all kinds. We are entering a time during our ascension as a species, where relationships of all kinds will be challenged. Letting go with full hearts and appreciation for what was is what’s being asked of us now even as we also learn to be with ourselves in the grief and pain of separation. We can never truly be separate and whatever is real between souls and hearts cannot disappear forever, but not everyone or everything will be able to come with us on our very personal, yet somehow deeply connected, journeys of healing Ascension.
Relationships are a major thing for us as humans. We are meant to be social and for many of us, our hearts consciously long for community and of course, deep romantic love. Each and every tie we have to a person or even a habit or animal or object is something to feel into now as we continue our process of purification and remembering who we really are as part of Infinite Love. There is no end point to the Ascension journey but there seem to be specific markers that guide our way. Feeling any restlessness or doubt in our relationships or maybe even body symptoms when we are around certain people are very strong indicators that we should consider reevaluating and feeling what it is we really want to experience inside relationship with others. Many of us will be challenged with having to move through layers of doubts around our own self-worth and even the beauty of our essence. Letting these doubts surface and making space to feel them is sacred as it aids us in our forward movements that bring us healing and help us move out of 3D consciousness.
There is an invitation that I feel with softness in my heart as I bring this to you. The shifting times we are living in do not promise an easy ride, though they do want us to feel where the letting go is most difficult for us. It often is not a simple process, as I’ve experienced myself. The more aligned we become in relationship to ourselves, however, the easier it is to see and feel what a truly sacred relationship is and we can begin to draw those who are our true soul family and soul mates. Nothing anchors our healing and ascension more than having loving, non-codependent support around us.
Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, writer and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com