Painting by Josephine Wall
Graphic created by Gabriel Heartman
You wander down a corridor, doors on either side, some with much space in between them, others not. Some are painted in beiges and browns, some have psychedelic colours, others look and feel like rainbows and light… then one catches your eye just as you begin to pass it by.
You immediately stop and turn on your heels to head back towards it, not sure why you’re compelled by it all of a sudden, but it doesn’t matter to you in that moment. The aura of the door feels warm and you get the sense that someone on the other side might want to embrace you… your logical mind tries to grasp at how this could be possible, yet it begins to let go in almost the same breath, sensing it might have a place to rest in this room. Your hand reaches out to turn the golden knob, only to realize that the door is no longer solid. You step through it, as your mind begins to loosen more.
Now inside, you see that the ceiling is gone and there is only a sky with clouds, dancing themselves into different forms and patterns, some of which you recognize, others you don’t. There seems to be layers to this “sky” you see above you, and in fact, this room seems to have layers too somehow, or at least you can sense it does. You also see some lush sofas, comfy chaise lounges, luxurious hammocks, friendly plants and you hear music playing softly in the background now, a welcoming sound that doesn’t have its usual form or patterns, but it has frequencies that somehow send waves of HUM through your body and the energetic field around your body too.
You take this in for a few moments, feeling the fresh air and beaming sunlight. It’s not a room, yet it IS a room too somehow. And as your mind continues loosening, the need to make “sense” of this dissolves in spite of you. A feeling that you’re “home” washes through and over you. A feeling you haven’t really felt before, except maybe as a very young child, and yet it feels like something you experienced at another time and place too, not in this life you have been living as “you”.
As you walk around the room a bit, you see that there is no clock to track “time” as there would be in most rooms you’ve experienced.
On a wall of vines, next to a majestic tree, you see a large mirror, taller and wider than you are, leaning yet stable. Its framing looks and feels ancient, with filigree and rosettes. As you gaze at the self reflected inside of it, at first you see features and colours that you recognize as “you”. This feels to last but a moment before something shifts and suddenly you seem to be seeing yourself from a very strange angle, yet the mirror itself hasn’t moved! This angle is awkward, showing you parts of your body you’ve avoided looking at at times and it seems you can also see your shadow appear – first above and behind your shoulder, then also near your neck on the opposite side, down near your hands, beside your leg, and close to your feet. Your shadow moves suddenly and seems to cover you, accentuating the angle you’ve already decided you don’t like seeing… yet you stay there, in front of the mirror, compelled to see more, to feel more, to get to know more.
“Why?” part of you asks, “why now? Why do I have to see myself this way?”
As tears fall, you begin to realize what’s happening. You turn away from the mirror and lay down on a sofa as you continue to cry. You feel something rise up from within and without you, holding you as this happens. It is the embrace you were drawn to on the other side of the door, the reason why you stepped into this room in the first place. You collapse more into the tears as memories come in. You are surprised at how you don’t feel overwhelmed by this and that you’ve actually been wanting and needing this release for so long…
As the tears fade, you continue to feel the comfort of that embrace. You feel stronger than before. A smile spreads across your face and a lightness you haven’t known since you were a child fills your being. Your heart feels a bit raw, but the healing balm of this lightness and joy help to hold and soothe it.
You don’t really want to leave this room, yet you sense that now that you’ve been here, it will be with you always, and you can always return to it whenever you want or feel called to. As you pass through the door, you realize that the memory of what happened here will always be with you and the embrace you felt is bound to change you forever.
Welcome to the Loving Room. ❤
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.