There’s a way that I couldn’t find my sense of authentic spirituality and Divine connection until I started working with my emotional body, and allowed myself to be in process around everything I needed to feel.
Since beginning to ‘seek’ for something beyond the Catholicism I grew up in, at around age 14 (maybe a bit younger), I had a sense of what was beyond me and also within me. I could feel soul gifts coming forward and wanted them, ached for them, to be expressed in the world. I got some sense of ‘purpose’ then, though it was cloudy and a muddy most of the time without really having a specific teacher to lean into. I found different spiritual leaders and teachers to follow over time. I thought that my path was to become a psychic medium and be on stages throughout the world, writing books, speaking to crowds of adoring fans, soaking up love from my Divine connection and also with a Sacred Union mate. It was a grandiose, glamorous picture.
Though ‘my’ (more like part of me’s) dreams at the time were of fancy worldwide gatherings and beautiful clothing bought by book and ticket sales, it turned out that my emotional body was not dressed in sparkles. It was more like the beggar lady in a fairy tale, who often turns out to be a powerful soothsayer – a voice of truth and wisdom that helps to humble the prince or princess. It started to show me the mirror I most needed to look into. I was not yet compassionate nor was I coming from love or letting in that what I really needed was some kind of purification process for my heart and soul. At the time, parts of me were convinced that all I needed to do was keep learning and the being and becoming would come later. Well, there’s some truth in that, because our spiritual learnings and leanings do lead us somewhere, inevitably. Yet to be spiritual in the deepest sense, seems to mean embodiment and experience are more important than learning itself and the desire to perform often is just a desire for love. At least this was definitely the case for me.
Working with my emotional body has led me to more spiritual openings, realizations and LOVE exchange with the Divine than I can express through words. Words aren’t quite enough here! The toughest, darkest processes that make you feel as if you are going to die or want to die, are actually the ones that put you back in the arms of the Divine and really help you and your parts let in the support that is always, ALWAYS with you and within you. I’m not exaggerating here either, because this feeling of ‘wanting to die’ DOES poignantly come from parts of us who are nearing their collapse. They are at a tipping point of falling into love and letting the arising authentic YOU fill the space and lead in life more. In my experience and what I’ve witnessed in others, THIS is the most powerful ground to find and feel our Divine connection and access and letting ourselves in this way is an experience we can never forget but can always learn from and it is a space we can always return to.
Working with the emotional body is sometimes grizzly and also completely WONDERful. You are such an incredible mystery to yourself and as humbling as it is to step into, the process of rediscovering your own sense of connection to the Divine that hasn’t come to you from a priest, guru or book is your birthright and something you can powerfully claim that WILL forever change you and your life whenever, if ever, you are ready to say ‘yes’ to each step as it arises before you.
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.