Journal With Nine: Healing The Symbol Projection

I felt inspired to have another go at conversing with the number 9 this morning. I felt a personal connection to its message and felt there was more to feel into with it. There was such an interesting response to it that I wasn’t totally expecting. I have not had a real deep relationship to numbers in my past and I haven’t taken to doing much ‘research’ on the matter. In a way, it keeps it pure and just arises from whatever comes from my heart. I encourage anyone who has a more intimate connection with numbers to do this very same thing and see what arises.

On that note I will check in with Nine and see how it is feeling today and where we might go:

Good morning Nine. Do you prefer the word or the number?

9: That is an interesting question. I guess it all depends on which perspective you want to come from. A more literary and poetic heart space or a more mathematical, paternal place.

Hmmmm….so you have a masculine and a feminine?

9: Well, don’t you?

Yeah, I do. I guess I never really thought of it in regards to a number, but when you put it that way it totally makes sense.

9: It also doesn’t have to make sense either. It is a question that leads us on a quest, just like Raphael always says.

Yeah, I like that. So we are questing. Getting to feel and understand each other and how we relate to each other through this dialogue.

9: Sure. Why not? You gotta hot date with Kalayna?

Well, every moment is a hot date with Kalayna. She is into this too so it is all a part the dance.

9: Yes, a dance. (Good answer with the hot date thing… 😉 That is what this exploration is. You and I are both a consciousness. I get my awareness and aliveness through you and I thus affect you. We can spend a lot of time exploring the technical nature of my numerology and that has its value and purpose, but taking that understanding and diving a bit deeper into how I, as a number, have an effect on a particular heart is a feminine approach.

I was feeling that distinctly yesterday in our conversation. I could feel a part of me wondering if I needed to do some research into what you ‘mean’ and yet I got a whole lot of meaning out of our encounter yesterday. I could feel how others who responded had their own intimate relationship with you that spanned a spectrum of reaction.

9: I do seem to have that effect on people. I am a very intense yet magical number if I do say so myself. I have a lot of stuff going on! Mathematically speaking I have a lot of parts! I house a lot of powerful energy and that be like riding a bucking bronco. So I understand the intense reactions that others have about me showing up in their lives. Or even being identified as me.

Yeah, I wanted to ask you about that. How do you feel about that?

9: Well, of course, there is an honor in it. But there is a lot of projection and over-identification that can arise. There is something that is meant to be understood about the nature of being drawn to a number but it doesn’t mean that one is meant to be determined by it. I only hold the power that one gives to me. If I represent chaos and that is all that one chooses to relate to me as then there is no room for what else I stand for which is the process of moving beyond into the new. This is where the feminine side of feeling wants to come in and hold space for the fear that is backed up in my name. I don’t want to be a reason why people are suffering. That is not what I am about.

Wow. I feel some of your own backed up truth in there Nine.

9: Yeah, I can feel that too, Gabriel. I can feel that for any idea/concept be it numerological, astrological, angelic, etc. We get all bound up in this intense energy that is not the nature of what we are meant to represent. We are change and stability both. Never meant to stay in a rut. I got this yesterday from you when you mentioned my curiosity of what it is like to be 10. I am not a victim to my location on a number line. I am more than that. I am energy. I am a symbol that is not set in stone. I can shift. Hell, turn me upside down and I am a six! How is that for multidimensionality? Thanks for letting me feel that Gabriel. I feel how I may have been holding a lot more than my share of this dynamic. An inner need of mine to be seen as valuable and wanted. I want to feel that in and of myself. And my parts. All 9 of them! Hmmm…9 lives.

I had no idea that we going here today Nine. I still have so many other curiosities about you and maybe we just needed the space to feel into this together.

9: I feel open to where this is meant to go Gabriel. I feel a big release here and that helps me to feel more of my own value as a number in relation to the human heart. Whew!. This is powerful work you are doing, my friend. I think it is time to let this breath and we can catch up tomorrow if that arises. I can feel how all these symbols could use a good cleanse, Gabriel. This could be your thing!

That would be interesting. Not sure I can make a living on holding space for symbols but I am open to what it offers us. You are magical being and I am blessed to have stumbled onto this with you. All in Divine Nining.

9: Hmmm….not sure about that one there, Gabriel. I like the effort, however. Before we leave I did want others to know that having their own personal connection with me would be very healing. I am open to connecting with them through their own hearts and computers. I am good with pen and paper too. Brings me back to the old days.

Ah, that feels like a great invitation Nine. Thank you. I look forward to what arises next in the space between us. We have a whole month in your honor!

9: Oooff! That is a lot of change coming our way. Okay! We got this!


Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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