by Gabriel & Kalayna Solais
It’s in what we see in each other’s eyes. It’s alive in the touches of mutual nourishment and softness. It’s present in the sometimes fervent moments of conflict or advocating for each other or ourselves. We see each other as each other and yet as very different beings too, each with their own path and their own healing crucibles, riding alongside this mutually claimed healing crucible of being in Sacred Union… which we claim for its depth not its length.
A ‘successful marriage’, to us, means a commitment of heart, soul and body that has found all the depth it can in this current lifetime and phase too. It’s not about staying together ‘forever’. It’s about being in this exploration of a deeper bond with each other while feeling all it pushes up and yet helps heal too inside of each of us as individuals.
This is not a perfect process. We engaged in romance on a few occasions so that we could see deeper into ourselves at each turn. The blind spots, the shadow, is revealed in the dance of intimacy. At times they moved us to new places and new ground between each other, and at others they took us to a completion that sent us on a more singular quest of self-understanding and growth. Each one leading us to new awareness and new desires…..sometimes for others and eventually back again.
In this current revolution of our Usness (the bond that lives between each of our sovereign beings), we have chosen to go deeper into this soul pairing. We have felt parts of ourselves that relate to each other’s parts in different ways. Many of our differences and conflicts arise from the meeting of these parts and Metasoul aspects. This is the quantum healing that is possible inside of this kind of conscious union. We are not together to ‘ride it out’, but to go deeper into our growth and soul edges. We both have masculine and feminine parts relating to each other, soul contracts to feel and resolve, lifetimes of joy and pain to integrate together. We have felt our kings and queens, soldiers and maidens, priests and priestesses, and galactic counterparts.
Gabriel: The journey of Sacred Union with Other begins with Self. What we feel and see about ourselves is reflected in those we relate to, especially those we are most intimate with. The ache for Other that may reside within is in large part an ache for Self. As a part of this journey with my beloved wife Kalayna, it was a process of falling in love with me. My parts. My parts loving themselves and being loved by me. One big Me love fest. It is that love of self and selves that beacons and draws that which is alive on the inside.
Kalayna: When I look at Gabriel, most of the time I can see him on all of these different levels and layers of who he is. Yet, he arises as a mystery to me. Also, there are moments and days where the soul isn’t seen right away, where he is a body in a space shared with my own. These moments though, I’m grateful and happy to say, are few, because of the degree of mutual respect and reverence we have for each other that still continues to deepen.
At the end of the day, I’m grateful for every moment spent with him and every moment that this relationship has helped reflect to me my next places to go inside, even if this is the last day we have together in this romantic bond. I feel my parts pinging off of and interacting with different parts of him in this this-life dance we share. I also feel, especially during love making and moments of deepening together, the other-life dances our souls share, sometimes unbeknownst to us yet ever present somehow. I desire for more depth with him, to venture off into many sunsets with this man, riding this horse called “Sacred Union”, trusting the unfolding of the path we share.
Gabriel: We know each other well in some respects, but are a complete mystery in another. Kalayna has continued to arise as a woman and blossoming feminine leader whose scent gets sweeter and succulent each time. Her passion and shadow reflect mine. She activates and triggers what needs to as part of my own growth and response to my own leadership. This has happened both in and out of romance, but this Sacred Union calls something forward that is part of each other’s crucible of Love’s ambassadorship. It is us and more than us at the same time.
Kalayna: Love is always here with all of us, inextricably part of us yet also making up our whole being. We cannot be ‘left’ or ‘abandoned’ by it, though the imprint of feeling this way in the trauma of separation from Divine love especially has made it feel to parts of us like sometimes love really does ‘leave’. In past relationships, even in past phases of romance with Gabriel, I’ve felt parts of me cling to him as to a liferaft. I still feel where I need to go with parts of me in their sometimes over-attachment to him and the comfort and natural solace he brings to the relationship, in order to help them find that more with me than with him. This feels so important for any and all relationships in my life actually, and is what the main process is sometimes for me… to keep bringing it all back to me, back inward, to find, cultivate, and nourish the ultimate source of comfort and love there and with the Divine as well.
Gabriel: There have been times of complete overwhelm and resistance and other times of ecstasy and bliss. The in-between is what we navigate daily, surfing the realness of heart even if it risks an ‘end’. In reality, there is no end, but rather a moving on place. This is the crucible of my process as a man to be as vulnerable and real as I can and to feel and love the shadows that arise from such a difficult place for a part of me. This is the Real Deal. It is the Big Time. We both signed up for one of the most catalytic experiences in life. True conscious Sacred Union. I am excited and scared as hell at the same time. Who we will be and become are unknown and yet ready to be born. I couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone other than Kalayna.
Old ideas and conditioning that say that romance is really supposed to offer a ground of having someone to come home to who will love you unconditionally are still very much alive in our culture and embedded in our hearts and souls too from many different lifetimes of feeling abandoned especially by romantic love. The new sense of Sacred Union though, feels so different… it feels as if it wants to come from the transaction ground between two lovers who are in a mutual healing and maturation space, meaning that this cling to each other for reasons of quelling wounding for a while wants to move into something new, some new ground of relating that is based much more on health rather than dis-ease within. This is the sense of Sacred Union that we commit to with each other now… and we cannot know how deep this will go or how long it will last. Yet, to treasure what we have right now in this moment, even in this moment of writing this piece together, feels important and desired.
Much love to YOU and with YOU as you continue to explore your own journey of these Sacred Union grounds within… and possibly with an Other too, either in this moment or another moment to come. ❤
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.
Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.