Letting Go Of Community To Find It Anew Inside And Out

Hello, everyone. It has been some time since I have written a post due to a lot of inner processing since the New Year. I have been met with an awareness of myself that has been subconscious, and even unconscious to some degree, in my relationship to being in deep intimate community. I have been writing about this a lot as it has been my main focus since 11/11.

I have projected a lot of my own wounding onto those that are closest to me that have created an unfortunate dynamic that has been underground inside me for some time. I have recognized my own tendencies to repress some things that have needed air and they have just built up over time. In unpacking these suppressed realities and parts of me, I have found that I am in deep need of catching up to who I authentically am as a healer, leader, and in service to the Divine.

This has felt like a last gasp of my ego coming to the surface in many ways and I have recognized that they best way for me to truly reset this dynamic is to remove myself from the SoulFullHeart community as a member and a facilitator. It is how I can have these parts of me fully land in me fully and to see and feel community in a brand new light. Sometimes we need to step outside of something in order to let it in in a deeper and expanded way.

I have had a lot of amazing memories with everyone in SFH, and that makes it all the harder to let go. Yet this feel like a necessary journey for me as a man and as a leader. I need to find my soul and heart voice and hold that with integrity in relationship to others, especially as intimate as we have all been the past seven years.

I know this comes on the heels of my last post about soul family, which I still hold as true, but it was a bit premature for me to post it as we were all still in processing together about these intimacy dynamics. I have removed it since for that reason. I still hold everyone as soul family. It is for this reason that I am doing this. Out of respect for them, my parts, and my growth.

I will be looking to move to the Seattle area soon and start to go deeper into my BEing and my human heart. I have a lot to reflect on and a lot to share along the way as that feels appropriate to share. I feel so blessed to have been a part of this community with Jelelle, Raphael, Raianna, and Kalayna. They are my heroes and my guides. It is a very sobering and humble time for me and that brings with it a lot more reverence and gratitude. I am aiming to cultivate more of that in months to come.

Thank you all for your years of support and reflection to me as man coming into his power and his heart. It has been a huge gift to me that I will be taking with me. I feel many of you as part of that ‘family’ feeling. I have a lot of trust this will lead me to a brand new experience of myself and of the world around me. I look forward to digesting it all along the way however it is meant to serve.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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