Since my early 20s, when I began to awaken to the vastness and possibility beyond the five-sense, wounded, and constructed consciousness I used to call ‘home’, I have sought an inner and outer ‘truth’. A truth that a part of me could use as a marker of being truly free, righteous, and ‘at peace’.
I read and listened to many different views and perspectives. I went down roads that seemed to resonate somewhere inside of me. Now I realize I was trying to see myself, trying to feel the truth of who I was beyond the suffering and the yearning. My masculine was looking for the Holy Grail outside not realizing it was inside all along.
Claiming and seeing my own bigness and gifts has been an ongoing process. I thought if I was knowledgeable enough or eloquent enough I could be seen as this wise and influential person. It is not that knowledge and communication aren’t important, it is more about where does the transmission come from. What is my motivation and purpose? What is it that I truly want?
This is where my wounded masculine has had his own sorting out around self-worth and power. This is where my soul’s Gatekeeper has needed to come into the light and out of the shadows of the fear of persecution and judgement. This is where the rubber has needed to meet the road and find traction inside of my being. No longer feeling less-than or needing to feel more-than to satiate this woundedness. That doesn’t serve what I want to serve nor needs service.
I want to serve the voice inside another that says, “enough is enough”. The part of you that can no longer do life the way it is and has been for far too long. I want to serve the expanding soul and the vulnerable heart. The desire for sacred romance and soul kin. I want to serve the latent courage that one has to make profound changes and life-altering choices that lead to the Sea of Unknown Aliveness. I want to support your journey to your own Divine alignment that already exists inside of you and offer you the tools to be in relationship to the energies inside of you that don’t feel that alignment.
I have been given the gift of that way of seeing and feeling that continues to serve me in ways that I longed for and didn’t realize I had inside of me, at least in my past veiled awareness. It has brought me to ever-unfolding edges of my Being that inform new layers of my wounding that inform new layers of my bigness of heart and soul. It is a never-ending story. The only stories that end are the ones that no longer serve.
We are endowed with the gift of creation. That gift has been hijacked by a force that distorts our true nature to that of a subject. A subject to the tyranny of our smallness, to our fear, and to our suffering. In the first act of defiance and self-love, you can choose to relate to that subject as a part of you. You can choose to relate to the smallness, the fear, and the suffering. In the act of choosing a relationship rather than a fusion, you have created opportunity, hope, and movement.
This separation, or differentiation, is not meant to sequester or ignore the ‘negative’ energy. It is meant to shine Light on it for understanding and offer Love for compassion and healing. It is meant to transmute, transform, and integrate back into a bigger, brighter, and more sovereign you. This is the Alchemist’s Gold in my opinion.
But this process is work to be sure. The process of subjugation did not happen overnight and is not freed from overnight. It is an ongoing melting of all the chains that have kept us in our place as subjects in the heart, mind, body, and soul. We are each the Neo, the Buddha, the Christ, and the Sovereign of this manipulated and constructed reality that we have been a part of most of our whole lives, until the wheels have started falling off the proverbial cart.
It is time to begin a New Earth from the inside out. It is seeing its shining light from within as well as feeling the grief of all that has been and may come into being as we move through this reclamation process called Ascension. It is not for those who just want to get back to ‘normal’ or go back to the way things were. It is for those that see that it was the old normal that created our subjugation.
What that New Earth looks and feels like is part of the mystery. Part of the unfolding as each of us wake up, heal from, and choose differently from a state of Love for ourselves as well as others. The details emerge from this place. A place where the Mind is married to the Heart, the Masculine is in union and in flow with the Feminine. A place where we are free to love, to be loved, and to be in love.
Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.