Canary In The Heartmine: The Deeper Messages Of Our Physical Pain

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Physical pain has persisted for me over the past 3 weeks starting with a throat infection for a week and then neck and back muscle tension for the last two. It has brought me into a lower frequency that has been hard at times for me to try and find space around and to get in touch with as it holds many messages for me. The timing of such pain is always notable and important to feel into. Deep sacred romance opens up new deep well oil reserves of fear around the protection of the heart and what Love is truly asking us to surrender and show up for, both. This oil can arise in many forms and physical symptoms are one of them.

How we relate to the pain can block or aid in the love flow. I have felt how the pain has brought down my frequency and has sent me into deeper slides of unworth and inadequacy. Without feeling the higher frequency within us to hold a broader loving context, the harder it is to feel like you are not stuck in quicksand. Sometimes it is just surrendering to what the pain is needing from us that can see us through to the other side. I “have” pain, as opposed to I “am” pain. Big distinction.

So the pain is reflecting the fear from a part of me in response to Love. Not just with a beautiful heart and soul, but with Love itself. You cannot be in a sacred romance without also being in relationship to the greater Love That Is. It highlights all the wounds and also waters what is growing inside of you. What it is inviting you to show up for on a grander scale. This is the call that leads you to more vulnerability and not less. More transparency and less hiding. More responsivity and less passivity.

I am being told that my old ways of relating to myself and the world are drawing to a close and it is time to clear the old to make way for the new. This clearing isn’t always pain free yet doesn’t have to be torture either. Our souls have different ways of reacting and mine has tended to be on the more dramatic side. Time to uncheck those boxes for it is no longer needed or desired anymore, but I needed it until I decided I didn’t need it anymore.

The pain is the proverbial “canary in the coalmine”. It is our messenger of what is dying and what is arising if we can get above it with patience, surrender, and deep self-love and care. We are truly the creators of the pain. It is so hard to get our 3D conditioning to move out of the way enough to be able to let that reality in. Our 3D self has been in the Paintrix for so long it really doesn’t know that anything else is possible. It is a way to avoid the real emotive and soul pain that lies deep within that is just seeking the light of our compassion.

I could feel my heart going out to those with severe chronic pain issues. It is not a pleasant place to exist.  To be able to feel the hidden and fearful parts of you that may be seeking to be felt even as they appear resistant, can lead to much healing and understanding of the gift it was always meant to offer as opposed to a dagger.  Love is the hospital, you are the heart surgeon, and your pained parts are the patients. Time to go in and see what they need from you.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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Healing The Patriarchy From Within

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Years ago, early in my healing process, I needed to take time away from family. I needed to feel myself outside the familial conditioning to really get a good feel for who I, Gabriel, really was. I needed to feel the ways in which I had been influenced to perceive myself and the world around me. This was especially true for my relationship to my father as he played a big part in my masculine conditioning and relationship to others, both male and female. He had many different effects on me that formed wounded aspects inside myself. I needed to hold and feel those parts of me as a new father template in order to relate differently to the world and others around me.

I remember as a boy my mother would tell me at times how much my father would remind her of his father, my grandfather. I remember feeling that in my own self as I became older, taking on so many physical and personal mannerisms. Taking on the family male legacy of anger and alcohol, the perception of women, and the internalizing of the patriarchal need for control and reason. As my parents divorced and my mother remarried, I took in another father figure that had just as much influence but in different ways. The Inner Father imprint was becoming embedded and it had its effect on my own sense of authenticity.  Who was I really when I was trying to listen to my own internalized father figure?

This part of us takes on a 3D patriarchal energy that comes from the more collective psychic wounding. It is one that has influenced my relationships with women and men. It has filtered my receptivity and openness to possibilities. My own inner feminine was a kept maiden, not feeling safe enough to express and emote. My inner child was suppressed to keep things in a serious and logical framework. Not much play in the world of the patriarch.

But in the unearthing and untangling of the inner father, you find the reasons for it all. There is no bad guy in the process of healing and integrating. Going into my own inner father wounds, I could feel the grander heart of the Masculine at large. The power of sovereignty and compassionate truth-telling. The desire to end the war within and be in collaborative balance with the feminine.  I could feel the the edges of my unworthiness and the real fear of surrendering to what needs to be reflected back at me as part of my growth and opening heart.

Through the process, my inner father takes a step to the side of me and becomes more of a brother, and then as the defenses soften, a younger, more boyish quality comes in and he begins to feel like a son.  I could feel my own biological father in more of his essence, encouraging me to continue on my healing journey and becoming like a guide to me along the way. It is a remaking of the past within the present moment where all things truly exist. A healing that has quantum effects between our hearts and souls and those of the collective father and son relationship.

The harder, less flexible side of me began to soften, be less defensive and more reflective. It has become less linear and more open to surrendering to the moment and letting the flow of life have its way while still holding personal will and desire in the mix.  When I do feel this energy arise I can feel what is underneath the frustration and need for control. Usually a deep wound of feeling powerless and overwhelmed in a world that feels like survival is the only reason to be alive. As I connect more with the Divine Father inside me. the more my own inner father can rest and let go of his Reign, which can feel very existential to them as the control is all they have ever known.

In the letting go, the suppressed feminine energies within can arise and begin to dance with the healing masculine and create a balanced energy that can penetrate while letting go of the outcome and the need for a particular result. It opens the heart to a more dynamic and authentic relationship with women in general and more specifically in a co-creative sacred union partnership. It shifts the collective patriarchal energetic structure and helps lead a new paradigm of leadership and stewardship of a New Earth and New Sacred Humanity.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Be A Steward Of Love

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You have chosen to be a steward of great importance. What it is you are here to usher into consciousness is yours to bequeath and ours to behold. This stewardship starts off personal and evolves into the galactic. It can’t help but to do so if you follow its natural and arising course. This stewardship is one that is self-proclaiming and love-directed. You are the captain of your ship first and foremost. The passengers, the aspects and parts of you that you have picked up along the way, need your leadership and humbled sense of urgency to guide them into the new territory of your arising sacred humanity.  Outside of yourself, which is still arguably you too, are those that are meant to seek and follow your light and example. They are also your charges when the love from within is overflowing the bows of your inner decks.

This stewardship is a responsibility and an adventure both. A serious yet joy-filled exploration that seeks to find and integrate the long lost parts of your self spread throughout your emotional universe and star-filled multiverse. It is the single greatest purpose you have to offer the world. While Rome is burning in one timeline, you can be ushering in a new world that is centered in the Love that you have packed away in the hulls of your heart and soul. It is just awaiting your claim and sometimes difficult choices.

These choices are not meant to leave you in suffering. They are meant to pave the way into a greater expanse of ocean and air, both inside and out. If you don’t quite feel that expansiveness, or it waxes and wanes, you have your assignment right there in front of you. Take care of You. Feel those inner parts of your titanic heart. Connect with them and bring them aboard your UPward coarse. As each one begins to trust the Divine Heart within you, they can begin to shed the layers of the shroud that had them as good as dead. Transform that shroud to a cocoon and let the process of healing take root. From that alchemy shines a light of pure essence that lies within each one of them. They become the spark of light that fuels your ever lightening load that sends you farther into the mystic.

Use that glistening beacon to light the way for others to see and feel. Keep up the going IN so that it can go UP and OUT. The beginning is always the hardest. The most turbulent for there is a LOT to heal from in our 3D density. It is not a torture chamber but a birthing center. The pain gives way to infinite joy that provides the container to hold even more. So this stewardship is akin to birthing yourself and love into the world, where you are the mother and the child. The midwives are those that have been through the process and can hold space for this sacred delivery.

These are epic and glorious times you and I find ourselves in. We are not here by mistake and clearly by purpose. The events that are unfolding are calling us to go within and bring in the love that is so needed to turn this larger ship of our humanity around and back toward Divine Unity. Lean into the process, the turbulence, the birthing, and the service. It is all a part of what we chose to be a part of and couldn’t imagine doing anything else.

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If you are feeling resonant with the steward-ship of SoulFullHeart and are curious how it may serve you in your birthing and expansion, check out our website and request a free 30 minute intro session to learn more.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Under The Ash Lies Our Truest Self: Death And Rebirth After The Unexpected

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I am from a smaller city in Northern California called Santa Rosa. I was not born there, but a part of me was. It was my heart home for nearly 20 years. Currently it has been experiencing an unlikely event of a spreading wildfire dropping into its core. The speed and breadth of the fire caused last minute evacuations as it rumbled and sparked its way across a major freeway and into residential neighborhoods that would have just as soon seen pigs fly as have a wildfire touchdown into their midst.

It is a scene that makes the mind reel and the heart sink. I feel connected because there is a sense of community that exists there and even though it has been 5 years since I have lived there, part of my heart still has a love for it and those that I experienced life with. I feel the giant collective, “What the f#$k just happened?”.  The 3D anchors of one’s life just went down in flames and the resounding question is “What now? I lost everything.”

While the stun and daze find their way into anger and despair, there is a moment where life is offering us something in a story. An event. What our 3D part has held so dear as a reflection of its normalcy, its safety, and comfort, are very fragile and temporal. This construction on the outside is just that, an edifice to something much deeper than the surface itself. The houses, the stores, the landmarks. When they just vanish like they did in an instant, the 3D self finds itself staring into an abyss of its world.  A matrix in shock.

If there were a more 4D consciousness that found its way into the din of the details, you might find a period of collective reflection. If the immediate needs of those effected were taken care of they could feel the deeper pain of this extraordinary occurrence and see what may lie underneath the rubble and ash. Gaia and the Divine just came with a powerful message and it transmits at the core of the heart. There is actually a gift in it that can only be felt when one is ready to let it in to that deepening place.  The one where Love is wanting us to go into.

Life is not meant to stay stable and constant. It is ever-shifting, ever-changing. The longer we continue to keep it the same, someway, somehow, the Phoenix finds us. I am taking that in in this moment. All that I “have” before me is not really mine. They only reflect a dimension within myself. They are not my ultimately reality. But to my 3D self they are. This is where we can arise in our 4D self and hold the death and rebirth process for our 3D self and let the fire of its alchemy take us to new depths inside of us. In the case of Santa Rosa, both individually and as a community.

I feel the devastation that is coursing through. My heart goes out to all that lost all that they have worked so hard to create and maintain.  To the lives that were lost tragically. The scene is being reported as feeling apocalyptic and while that seems surreal it feels like the most real thing imaginable.  What is truly real lies in this space before it all gets rebuilt and recovered. I hope that this is a moment for many that shifts something profound. It has done that for me with my personal connection. It is a huge reminder that what exists inside of us IS the essence of our being and the rest is an act of letting go in order to feel the truth of that.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The INpression Of Our Care-Givers: Feeling And Healing Our Inner Mother and Father

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by Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri

In the process of getting to “Know Thyself”, one actually finds the mirror you stare into splits into multiple lenses from which to truly see what makes you tick. You are many selves within the container of a more holistic integrated being. We live in the dimension of the “separate yet whole”. The minute you left Divine Source and popped out of the womb you landed in the field of “this and that” without totally being aware of it until you had enough time to be taught and to experience the depth of this perception of reality.

You landed in the arms of caregivers that you chose as a soul, to be reflectors of the world you landed in. They were the ones, or the one, that you were meant to learn from about yourself and life, for a particular phase of time until it was time to learn on your own. They are the single greatest imprint into our psyche and heart, next to community and society at large. The way they reacted or didn’t react to you, to themselves, and to the world established an emotive and mental ground inside of you that helped to form your own version of yourself.  Whether in rebellion against or in conforming to.  The relationship with and between each parent or caregiver created a pattern inside of you in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

Over time, this energetic relationship created a space inside of yourself that has informed many decisions in regards to so many aspects of your life.  It is an Inner Mother and Father that forms in your emotional body that carries so much data about your 3D Self and how it has found itself surviving and expressing in the world and in relationship. For women, it can express as a wounded and masculinized matriarch that is protecting the more still and sensitive Yin nature of her essence in order to survive in a still rather patriarchal world. For men, it is the expression of the controlling and aggressive patriarch or the suppression of the more vulnerable and tender parts of them.

Either way, it is a way to feel your own participation in playing out the wounded masculine picture of the world as it still largely is and has been. There is an entire lineage and legacy you carry within you, that doesn’t only begin with your birth family, as of course culture and country have influence too. Your parents learned from their parents and found their way however parts of them felt it was best for them and their own consciousness level. Choosing to feel yourself and how this lives within you by your own choice of whether or not to go into it and heal it, puts you in the seat of immense inner power to move beyond it and influence future generations to do the same.

This Inner Mother and Father can hold influence over many other aspects of your 3D Self, such as your Inner Teenager and Inner Child. They are our own versions of how we took in our caregivers. Beginning a relationship with them internally can lead to a vast new experience of ourselves that we never really knew we had, as we have been unconscious of it to the degree we needed to be in order to keep that relationship intact. If there is no external relationship to your parents, the internal still exists until it is felt as a separate part of you that can foster healing, integrating, and an unanchoring of the 3D Self into higher frequencies.  If there is still a external relationship, there may be a necessary phase of separation from them so that you can fully feel what it is that lies inside that is authentically you and what is the internal manifestation of them. Some parts of you may feel as if you are ‘abandoning’ your family/parents and that this is wrong and contemptible. Yet there is no absolute here or even a vow of ‘forever’ being out of contact with them. The space you take simply allows the truths of the relationship to arise and gives you what you need in order to feel yourself and your parts in who you have been and who you want to become.

Getting to know and feel your Inner Mother and Father will lead you to your own connection to your sovereignty of being that is no longer connected to those who ushered you into this 3D life. It will help to let go of the binds and grinds that have kept your 3D Self in the swirl of this deeply impressionable and sacred relationship. As you become a parent to your inner parents you gain a whole new perspective that integrates all the power and gifts they gave you and leave the rest behind on your growing journey into the lands of your healing heart and ascending soul. Plus, in the name of the exponential service of love, you get to become the new template, piece by piece and part by part, for how the new dance of the masculine and feminine gets to arise in this purging, healing, and shifting world.

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Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman will each write more specifically about the Inner Mother and Father as it relates to the specific genders and how it has informed and affected their personal healing process and relationships. 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

This ‘Time’ We Found Us In Ourselves

 

KandG

 

There have been many ‘times’ we have danced to this tune

One that seemed to be missing a note we kept looking for in the other

But could never seem to find for it was always in our own hearts.

Times that we found ourselves in desperate need of a key that we had all along.

 

This ‘time’ around we found us in ourselves.

We have opened the doors to the universe within and we found us…..inside.

You were never ‘out there’ but always in here

A reflection of my own self-generated love glow

As I am unto you, my love

 

I reflect the timelessness of your aged soul

That shines brighter than any star in the canvass of the heavens

The golden ray of your glistening love-eyes

That pierce the veil of any hardened surface in my heart

The eloquent weaving of your masterful words

That lay rose petal paths to the depths of my poet’s muse

 

You offer me a mirror of my own inner courage and strength

To lead a thousand souls to the glory of our human story

Of the passion of my creative spinnings and inkings

That find their way upon paper made planes

Of my own unlimited journey into the depths of your infinite love

 

We shall sail this one…this time, my love…on the waves of our NOW

Keeping our hearts attuned to the loved-up Self within

To spill its abundance of treasure and pleasure upon our hungry shores

Letting each moment become like a forgotten remembrance

Of the love we never left behind

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

 

We Are A Mysterious Love Story

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Love stories captivate us because we can feel so much of our own desires and reflections in them. They represent our deepest yearnings and lived-in experiences. They help us to feel what it is that lies underneath that which is underneath. We ache for connection so that we can see and feel ourselves in ways we have hard time seeing on our own. So the story is also about us. Our own desire to feel the love within us that is solely about us. As this is cultivated through much inner work, the story seeks to hear itself through the heart of another.

We live in a love story. We are writing it everyday. How we run from it, dampen it, hide it, surrender to it, and dance with it. There are parts of us that are working extra hard each and every moment to keep from really feeling it because of its capacity to change everything in an instant.  The current stories we are living in other dimensions have a huge impact on how we are weaving this one together. Are we recapitulating some of the same themes over and over, or have we chosen to consciously rewrite the script to match what our highest timeline wants for us? What it is we ultimately want, but are too afraid to just ask for and pursue. There is a lot at stake for the part of us that has been keeping the story rolling just fine the way it is, even if it is suffering over it.

There is a timing of it all too.  The Divine, I am learning, truly knows best even if we haven’t the faintest clue of the whys. It is the work of feeling our inner world, going into the depths of our story consciously to see why we wrote it the way we did and if that is the way we want to continue writing it. We see things when we need to see them and when something else in the plot has shifted first. Not a minute before or a minute after. It is all perfect and all we are doing is giving it a little boost along the way by choosing to participate in this actively and with the awareness that we are in a mystery.

I write this as I have found my heart in a state of joy after really letting in the woman that has been in my life for the last 5 years, Kalayna Colibri.  We began as facilitants in SoulFullHeart, then had a few incarnations as mates, had months of non-contact, and then reemerged as close friends but always with that deep care that seemed to follow us where ever we were.  We could not go back into another romance for our inner stories had not been ready for it.  Other plot pieces needed to weave in and out, and we needed our own time to actively engage in healing the chapters of the “past”.  As we began to feel more of our own uniqueness and our own self-love could we begin to see each other in a new way than before.  We could feel how the love that was always there just needed to be put in a special place so other story lines could take their place.

I suppose the lesson in this for me is that you never really “know” what the Divine has in store for you or what blind spots you are given until it is time to be seen. What is true is that those blind spots are only removed as we continue to go into our own inner stories. As we begin to heal all the ways in which we continue to keep love at bay. It is through rereading our 3D story with all its cast of characters that allows us to really see what it is that we are truly needing to heal in order to let in more of the love that is sitting right in front of us. And for that I am infinitely grateful and amazed to be a part of this new chapter in our lives together.

More writing to come from a brand new sacred romance taking flight.  🙂

If you are curious to reveal your own mysterious love story we offer free 30 minute intro sessions to see if the SoulFullHeart Way of Life healing process is part of that unfolding. More information can be found here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
This Sunday at 11:11am CST, Raphael Awen and I will be discussing more about the overall process and what space-holding sessions are all about and how they guide and inform your awakening and healing path. More info here:

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Healing The Family Legacy That Lives Within

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Within most (if not each) of us, lies an heirloom that has been handed down over the generations. In a non-linear way of feeling it, this heirloom is a legacy, or a theme, that each soul of a blood family has chosen to work. This legacy is what keeps them bound, until at such point, one or more of the souls chooses to heal beyond it, and into a new legacy that is founded on growth and a deep transformative union with Love.

This legacy is a way most members of a family, through the generations, have chosen to view and relate to the world. It may all come out in different forms and functions, but there is a connector that seems to run underground, or in computer speak, run in the background. It can range from depression, to rage, to anxiety, to control. It can be subtle, or obvious. It can live in us and be expressed in different ways. Some may cover it over with busyness (business), religion, sex, and other pursuits of “happiness”, or others may be deeply steeped in the legacy trying to find answers, or a way “out”.

For either one, it is part of the way back to Self and Love. To Self-Love. It is a very core wound that is almost a secret in a way. The elephant in the family room, so to speak.  When you get down deep enough it eventually leads to Fear and our separation from Source, but it has its own flavor and frequency.  One that acts an anchor to 3D and keeps us coming back to heal what we came here to heal; that which we were born to love and let go of.

For me, I am unearthing a deep family wound that is rooted in self-punishment and a deep distrust in life itself.  I can see and feel the family tree of this theme and it lies at its roots. Watered by the choices I made to keep the tree growing until it was time to leave the tree and be planted in different soil.  Soil that is nourished with Love and not Fear. I have begun connecting with a part of me that is named after my grandfather.  His name holds the legacy, so it is more than just him I am connecting with, but his spirit is also a part of it. You could also connect with a last name that anchors that frequency. It is a very powerful relationship to a very powerful conditioning.

This energy holds a key to our movement from 3D into 4D and beyond. It is a root anchor that can serve as a launching pad as we begin the inner work of connecting, caring, loving, and collaborating with it. At first it is a very intense frequency due to the amount of energy the collective family has put into it. But you wouldn’t have chosen to heal it if you weren’t big enough to handle it. For our 3D self, this is the biggest purpose it has in our ascension process.

Even though I chose to draw a boundary with my family years ago, this legacy continued to inform the way I related to my healing and relationships to others within community.  It is a set of heart glasses that are almost permanently affixed until such time they are ready to be noticed and taken off to see and feel the world in a more truer way. It is a doorway into a whole new way of BEing and feeling myself that has many gifts in its wake. And for that I am feeling compassion and gratitude for what this heirloom has offered me.  May it also serve to heal those that I grew up so intimately with in their pursuit of Real Love.

If you feel resonance with this family legacy and have the desire to go IN and heal it, SoulFullHeart offers a path and process to take you from where you are and guide you through the different aspects and parts of yourself to unearth and heal all the remaining anchors to 3D life that are bringing you pain and a capped relationship to Love.  Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/services for more information.  We offer a free 30-minute intro session to how SoulFullHeart could serve you in your healing journey.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Our Inner Teenager: The Heart And Soul Of Our 3D Self

 

24.

The Land of Confusion.  The volatile teenage heart. These are the years of many of our intense experiences with our fading childhood and impending entry into adulthood. These are the times that many of us can go back to and see a scene that our inner teenager lives in.  Those poignant moments that this part of us still lives in that shifted the direction of their life and has yet to fully process it all.  So many different social and familial pressures that left us in a state of tug of war…or just plain war. Those on the healing journey are on it to recover from these very times. Those very moments still burned into the lining of our heart. They are the heart and soul of our 3D Self.

Our inner teenager houses so much of our passion, desire, and dreamer.  Many chose to roll down the rebel road and set fire to whatever could be set fire to, looking for anything that was real in a very unreal world. Others found themselves playing by the rules, suppressing anything that would go against the direction of the greater wave of what was expected of them.  Then there were the in-betweens, never quite comfortable with either. This part of us is so prevalent in our lives.  Without a mature template to walk us through the valley of this very trying time we were left with an imprint that carries on to this day in the way we hold our own 3D health and maturity.

The inner teenager can be seen in our rebellion and our conformity.  It can be found in our relationships and our sexuality.  In the way we need to be by ourselves or the need to be with others.  They are in the closed door bedroom with headphones on, or in the late night party trying to see if they will be noticed by anyone “important” or “hot”. They may even be the default parent and is nowhere close to being like the “others”.  All of this is a part of their heart story that is so needing and wanting to be felt in the depths by someone who is able to deal with the gravity and levity of a teenager.

Going into the world of our inner teenager brings us closer the passion, imagination, and creativity we had to set aside for various reasons.  It is about feeling the loss of innocence that led us to so much serious. They are the bridge from our youth to our maturity.  They are truly seers of new worlds. Healing our inner teenager brings a new vision of life that has technicolor rad-ness and infinite vision.  It brings a joy and lightness that seeks to learn and have fun at the same time. So not like school!

My inner teenager wants to say, “It was never about what I wanted to be when I ‘grew up’, it was about what I was feeling about myself in the moment that mattered most. Having someone I respected feel it with me, not to fix me, just to feel me. I just wanted to live and experience life from place that I felt comfortable in my own skin and didn’t have to impress upon anyone to be accepted, for I hadn’t accepted myself. I wanted know what real masculinity was that wasn’t false bravado. I wanted to know what true love really was that wasn’t based in what I had or didn’t have. I just wanted to feel the courage to be me and not an image to hide behind.”

The gifts abound form this relationship within and we can find ourselves being the parent our inner teenager always wanted us to be, even as we are being challenging with a compassionate heart. The healed teenager integrates into our maturing heart and leads us to new vistas of brave new worlds they always wanted to visit.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Walled Off War Within

23

Follow on this well-worn path

The one you have known so well

The one that keeps you safe in the trenches of the battles that wage inside

There is a wall around this war-torn land that keeps it all intact

The players that play their role so well

To keep the whole gig going

But it is wearing thin this hallowed shield of your deepest truths and pains

It is seeing the tide rise where love has constantly laid its eyes upon

Your most needed, starved, and hidden children

The dam holds tight as it clings to the only duty it has had

To prevent the flood of our long held stories with tattered pages in tact

There is a time where we feel the moment has come to let the partition down

To see what happens differently than what has already been written a thousand times

What new change of weathered course sets you up to Higher Ground

To make new peace within your heart and set sail for lands anew

To grieve the life once lived yet never felt alive

The walls come down yet boundary remains

As the love that has replaced the war is the very thing to keep you safe

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.