Finding Your Place In The Fire

There is a violence that is bubbling from within the collective. Just like the collective fear that became evident at the beginning of this ‘pandemic’, the suppressed, unfelt, and unhealed violence continues to make its way to the surface. The reality is that it will continue to do so until we face our own violence. 

Yes, there are systemic problems that need some serious addressing. There is a widening gap between the privileged and the disenfranchised. Between cultures and genders. Between our personality and our humanity. There is a rising tension that the train is about to come off the rails. I have often wondered if it has needed to. 

With the level of managed tension and rage that lives underground, there has always been a sense of a Big One coming. Living in California for most of my life we were always told that the Great Earthquake was always a When, not an If. In the US, economic, racial, and political tensions feel to be accelerating. Goats are being scaped everywhere. The emotional body of a nation is in a pressure cooker being put into a fire by a compromised media. 

As this is being stoked and fueled, each individual is being affected and that adds to the energy of the collective dogpile. ‘They’ have found a way to keep the violence intact, and even when there are peaceful protests, there are provocateurs to make sure it all finds its way back to chaos. 

What action and power do each of us have in these times when it feels like it is all coming unglued? I think that is one you have to ask yourself. What feels like the most aligned with your purpose here? If it is to advocate and protest, then I say do so with all the Love you have to muster. That is possible. If it is to hold the space for the Kali phase of this death and rebirth then hold it with the might and compassion of your heart and soul. If you are to shine the Light of the New Earth then shine that Mother with all the power and glory that is within you without compromise. 

The collective needs us to keep feeling and healing our own violence and suppression. It needs us to get clear and focused without judgment on timing. If you are feeling deeply, shifting your timeline, and aligning yourself with Love and Purpose, you are making a difference. If you are able to really start loving yourself and overflowing to others, you are serving. If you are holding to your truth without judgement of others you are shifting consciousness. 

It may get bumpy and a bit scary, but if we hold the Light and turn that within we can make this transition with Grace. This is what we each came here to witness, experience, and help heal. 

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Suffering And Healing Of The Inner Teenager

Tomorrow in our next SoulFullHeart Free To Be group call, we will be diving into the Inner Teenager part of us that has a lot of wounding, BUT a ton of power and creativity. Right now the Inner Teenager may be coming out in a rebellious nature toward some of the ‘rules’ that are being implemented right now. There may also be a compliance as well. I know I had both in me in my teen years and struggled in the conflict between the two.

This conflict showed up as a desperate need to do well in school while being heavily into alcohol and smoking. I had a lot of mom/sister issues that showed up in my relationship to young women my age. It felt like an all-round hell zone for him in many ways. Trying like hell to fit in but not knowing which ‘in’ was really his.

As I feel him (his name is Chris, my birth name) from this vantage point, I can feel a soul that was winding down the 3D experience and struggling to reconcile that. Until of course he met Jill (aka Jelelle Awen) in college and the journey of self-discovery and authenticity began. It was a lot for him to let go of all that he thought he identified with (family, friends, relationships, conditioned ideas, etc).

He is very much into art and creativity and this too was a conflict as well with deep perfectionism that caused a lot of suffering. A battle between the masculine and feminine waged within. I feel him much more rested in with my inner teenage feminine and they seem to be in much more balance and harmony together.

In him there is a rebellion that just wants to go his own way without a fight. He doesn’t need to get angry anymore or judge others as this was always a judgement of himself. I feel a relief in him for no longer being in those days while still honoring all the process. There were lots of good times among the suffering. Those are what are now left in the memory banks when we look back.

Still much to heal around romance, intimacy, and sexuality but those are on their way with each passing day. Working with Chris in the early stages of my process was one of the most touching and healing parts of my journey. You don’t realize how much you are our teenager until you start to work with them.

If you are interested in connecting with and knowing more about your Inner Teenager, please join us for the next group call tomorrow at 10am PST. You can find out more info here:
soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 or purchase the link and soulfullheart.org/shop

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc. 

SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter: Bigger Picture Of The Covid Global Awakening Event

The weeks continue to be catalytic and expansive. This one no less than any other. We began the new round of Free To Be Calls with the topic of Money and that set of a firestorm of process for all involved. There were many digestions, awarenesses, and movements as a result. We also continued to feel the current energies of the Coronavirus and the New Moon on May 22.  You can read it here

Featured this week is a piece from Jelelle Awen. In it, she takes an eagle’s eye view of the Global Covid Awakening Event and what different timelines are presenting themselves and how compassion is an important aspect of these times:

All of us who came to Gaia at this time have chosen to experience a phase within this 3D Matrix consensus reality for the growth it offers to go through it and emerge out of it. Some of us became more bought into it than others and sometimes have been deeply plugged into it for multiple timelines. Before you would judge and condemn others who are still ‘asleep’ or label them as ‘sheep’, you can feel with compassion the parts of you that needed to go through that phase too and WHY they did. For many awakening souls, it is possible that they STILL have parts of them that are plugged into/corded into this 3D Matrix (for example in birth family relationships, mateships, and jobs). You can lovingly invite these parts of you to be felt and help them unplug through healing the emotional/soul traumas that may be keeping them stuck and plugged in.

The next ‘Free To Be’ group call series begins this Wednesday, May 27th @ 10am PDT. The second call of this series will focus on the Inner Teenager and his/her relationship to what is currently happening in the world today. With the shifting times, there is an opportunity to share your truth and that can create waves in your social world that may trigger the ‘black sheep’ part of you that has experienced social rejection for being different. We will share about how to digest the trauma around this invalidation experience from this life and other lifetimes. You will connect with your Inner Teenager in meditation to open up negotiation and collaboration during these shifts. 

You can offer a donation at any time and receive the recordings and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to. More information at https://www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 

In this week’s edition of our Museletter, there is a sample of the last group call as well as the series overview for those that may have not seen it yet. There are many new articles and audio blogs from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well as SoulFullHeart Facilitators Kalayna Solais and Gabriel Heartman. SoulFullHeart Collaborator and Facilitant Deya Shekinah has two very potent writings based on her personal process and growth of her parts during these times. 

Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

If you are interested in a session, we begin with a free consultation for 30-45 minutes over Zoom with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for you to learn more about the SoulFullHeart Process, what happens in sessions, mutually determine if the process is a fit for you at this time, and if so, which Facilitator to work with in sessions. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information.

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheart.org

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Offering My Services As A Facilitator (Once Again!)

I am super stoked to announce that I am officially back in the saddle as a SoulFullHeart Facilitator!

I am very honored and blessed to be offering this space again with a much different heart-set. Last fall things were taking off for me and it wound up triggering some much needed things for me to feel on my own. I needed to recalibrate to myself and to fully claim this as my life’s path and purpose.

Through the Dark Night journey, I held space for that in a way I had not really done for myself before, and honestly no one could have done it for me at that time. I clearly needed the time in the desert to get closer to God and The Divine within to take me where I was meant to go. It was there that I felt what I wanted and was being called to serve, but this time from a much more humble and embodied place.

I am so very grateful to Jelelle Awen, Raphael Awen, and Kalayna Solais for opening the door for me to restart my healing process (not that it was ever closed). I was deeply honored to have been invited to be a Collaborator and serve in any capacity that felt important.

The path back to facilitation was always the goal but being in the present with gratitude was my sacred journey. I can feel in all my time away that I had parts that did not feel they even wanted to be a leader, or maybe even deserved it. A lot of metasoul pieces to unravel and feel around this theme. Connecting my inner masculine with my inner feminine and with Yeshua have been a big part of this healing in him to really land in this new timeline and the gifts and desire I hold for service.

I look forward to continuing my own inner journey with Raphael as my facilitator, Jelelle as a mentor and guide, and Kalayna as a mentor and co-leader in our Saturday service of Love in our group calls. A big grateful hug to all of you for trusting me and seeing me when I couldn’t see myself. I love you.

And also a big thank you to all of you who were a part of this journey with me over Facebook during that time. Your connection meant the world to me and my parts.

So, with that said, I am open for a free Consultation Call to feel through any curiosities, interest, or desire you may have around this extremely catalytic work called SoulFullHeart. I will bridge to you what this work has meant for me and what it has to offer you should it feel like a mutual fit and support for your growth and healing.

You can go to soulfullheart.org/sessions for more info.

I look forward to offering all that I have learned and earned on my journey back to loving myself, loving life, and loving you.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

New Moon In Gemini: Releasing The Trauma Bond

What a new moon portal today! The last few days have been intense to say the least. I have become aware, through my deep dive sessions with Raphael, of a particular trauma bond that has existed inside of me between me and my sister even as I have not been in contact with her for over seven years.

My sister and I were born very close apart. When many people met us they thought we were twins at first glance. What I am realizing is that this twin recognition came from an energetic bond between us that I am learning has visitation and abduction trauma built in, as well as many lifetimes in one form of relation or another.

I have come to the realization that this bonded trauma created a pairing between us. A contract that we would forever be in each other’s life so that we would not feel the depths of the trauma. Well, I broke the physical contract years ago, but the etheric contract remained.

I was offered to connect to my sister’s higher self and let her know that I was no longer going to hold my end of the bond anymore as it is time for me to go into the galactic and soul wounding that had kept us in a bind. I have recognized how much of this has effected my relationships with women, as it served as a protection and a projection of wound and care-taking.

I have been so focused on healing the Mom wound that I finally found the more subtle sister layer that was out of my awareness due to the depth of the trauma that it was founded on. I am reaching the edges of my galactic wounding that has alluded me for most of this life until this came into view.

What came to me is that this may be true for many of us at this time. Not so specifically from brother to sister, but any bond between two people that has deep roots in trauma. This can be especially true for twin flames. The New Moon energies in Gemini feel to be highlighting this twin dynamic for those that are meant to see it right now.

The trauma bond is something that is hard to let go of as it has such a long history. I had deep tears that I couldn’t place many times today but I could get a sense that this trauma bond was leaving my field and it is almost like losing an essential part of your being that you didn’t really know was there!

The release and detox of this bond feels like a shedding of a skin. It can be a hard process, but when held in sacred space it feels like the most important part of our ascension. I can feel during this time how there is a collective trauma bond exhibited by the fear of this virus. As we clear our own inner trauma bonds, the less energy is added to the collective and thus helps to move the needle one more step toward Love.

I also feel how this will help me to let in sacred romance on a much deeper level that I have not previously been able to transact due to this energy in my being. Quite a remarkable ride the last couple of days. I hope that this provides some insight into your own relationships to see where there may be these contracts that may need a deeper release in order to bring in the Love that we ALL are here to experience.

Much love on this New Moon evening.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Becoming Conscious To Our Relationship To Money As Love

The first topic in our upcoming SoulFullHeart Free To Be series (beginning tomorrow) is about money and soul purpose work. It feels like an important piece to feel through, especially during these very volatile times. 

There are so many facets to money and our relationship to it, like a multi-headed hydra. It is called a ‘necessary evil’. It is said to be the ‘root of all evil’. There is no doubt money itself has a big impact on our lives. It is the 3D currency of exchange…for now. A big topic right now is that of a UBI, or Universal Basic Income, as well as a Global Currency Reset. These things are certainly making their way through consciousness, yet they are not here in the physical quite yet. 

Instead of going into the minutiae of these specific ideas and plans, I wish to turn the spotlight inward. What is your current relationship to money? Let’s take the paper and digits out of the equation and focus on the energy and feeling. 

Money represents basic survival in its lowest common denominator. This could be held by our more 3D parts such as the inner mother/father, Inner Protector, or even the Inner Teenager if they had to be self-sufficient at an early age. All of these parts have their own concerns and needs that tend to go to a very existential place. Meeting them there helps to get to a bedrock of existence that has been projected onto money itself. 

Energetically, with that fear in our field, the ebb and flow of money itself will morph to that narrative and belief system. It will make the case for this part of you that it is scarce and difficult to attain. If you dig deeper, you may find that what these parts of you are really after is to feel loved. For what we really want is more than just to survive. It is to feel alive and it is Love that provides that, not money ultimately. 

This may be compounded by many Metasoul lifetimes that are currently living in scarcity, poverty, and/or squalor. Meeting these aspects and bringing them into a higher love frequency, held by You and your Higher Self, can help the flood of these energies into your Now. 

One way to get to some bedrock places around your relationship to money is by completing a simple sentence frame in as many different ways that come to you. They may seem varied because each part of us holds a different relationship to it. You can parse that out later but for now just write.

Money always….

Money never….

Now those are very polarized sentences but it is on purpose. It is meant to draw that out if it lives inside of you. An exercise like this really helps to separate You from your Reaction. The Reaction is a fused state of consciousness. It is really unconscious. As you take a step back you begin to actually become more conscious of it. THIS is where your power is. Not so much how you can earn more or get more but how you relate to it that really gets the wheels of manifestation greased. An interesting thing to do when you are done is to replace the word ‘money’ with ‘Love’ and see what happens. 

Love and money are strange bedfellows. They seem like they live in different universes let alone galaxies. The thing is everything lives within the domain of Love. Money, sex, violence, joy, bliss, scarcity, abundance, and, yes, evil. The quest is, can we start to unravel the story that parts of us have fused to around money and truly feel we live in Providence…the state of being provided for by The Divine. If we find ourselves gripping on money, we need to feel the part of us that does not believe that Providence exists. 

This is my journey as well. It is ongoing. I want to go on it with you. If you feel this push-pull around money and living in a world of purpose, joy, and providence then please join us on the call tomorrow. It aims to shed light on this very human story.

You can join us live for this call and/or receive the recordings if you can’t make it live by offering ANY donation at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. You will also then be able to attend and/or receive the recordings of the next FIVE group calls in the series! The content is laid out here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter: Connecting And Healing With Star Family

Boom! What a galactic week it has been! Deeper connections and profound clarities about the arising disclosure and contact with our Star Being brethren and family. It was a week that was catalyzed by Dr. Steven Greer’s recent CE-5 documentary, Close Encounters Of The Fifth Kind. A must watch in our humble opinion. There is also the launch of the next Free To Be series beginning this Wednesday, May 20th! You can read it here

Featured this week is a piece from Kalayna Solais. In it, she digests her experience after watching the documentary in which she connected to a deeper layer of herself known as the Star Seed. So much pain of separation as well as the joy of reunion can be felt in such a process:

As I sobbed, I felt my soul’s ache. I felt the pain of what it’s really been like to be in 3D. I felt it for myself and I felt it for others. I felt the repression… the suppression of truth, the rejection of real love. I felt tired, so tired, of stark polarities being played out and even worshipped by those who can’t see or feel it all, and those who just simply don’t care. My eyes were closed to allow sensations to be heightened. If my eyes had been open, they would have been searching for my Star Family beloveds instead of feeling them. They love to enter through the heart and answer our calls. They may not always materialize in the physical but they are there. They are always… always there.

The next ‘Free To Be’ group call series begins this Wednesday, May 20th @ 10am PDT. Through this Free To Be Two series, you will feel empowered to think about and feel through the practical steps to walk out at this time, including a focus on money transition to soul purpose livelihood. You will also feel the social area of your life and connect to the ‘black sheep’ and socially rejected part of you who wants to step out into their truth in a new way. You’ll receive more sense of the 3D Matrix/Cabal collapse that is going on in order to unplug from it and deeper galactic support/activation from your star family. And finally, you’ll realize your potential to BEcome an Ambassador of Love and 5D Bridge into the New Earth to others and other parts of you as well.

The first call of this series will be an overview of how the current money system is a 3D Matrix program that is in transition to being about energy exchange based on soul purpose expression. You can offer a donation at any time and receive the recordings and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to. More information at https://www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 

In this week’s edition of our Museletter, there is a guided meditation from Jelelle Awen to connect with your Arcturian self through a sound healing chamber. Really powerful! There is also the recent Energy Update from Jelelle along with a message from the Arcturians through Jelelle’s Arcturian self known as Binkh highlighting their desire to assist each of us on our Ascension journey. 

There are many new articles and audio blogs this week from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well as SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Solais and facilitant/collaborator Gabriel Heartman. There are energy updates, personal process digestions, and ways to look at and feel what is happening on the 3D, 4D, and 5D consciousness levels.

Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

If you are interested in a session, we begin with a free consultation for 30-45 minutes over Zoom with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for you to learn more about the SoulFullHeart Process, what happens in sessions, mutually determine if the process is a fit for you at this time, and if so, which Facilitator to work with in sessions. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information.

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheart.org

Check out the latest Museletter here.

The Tears And Cheers Of The Star Seed

Tender tears this morning. As I lay in bed after my early morning teaching gig, I felt a sadness in my field. A loss. A longing. I could feel my inner masculine trying to search for where this feeling may be coming from. I felt my mind toggling and gripping. There was a feeling of just wanting to let go of my mind, but what I heard was to let go of the judgement of the mind. It is the inner judgements and expectations of myself that have kept me in a more mental domain for a lot of my life.

As I turned the dial down on those, like a fade button on an image or an audio track, I got to FEEL what was underneath. “I miss my home. My family. The freedom to Be.” As I felt the energy of the words, I felt my inner orphan Auggie. I first felt him during my time away from SoulFullHeart. He is a very sensitive boy. He feels to be on the ‘spectrum’ using 3D terms. But to me he is my little astronaut. He is my connection to the stars as I always feel him in his space suit looking at the stars. Wondering. Curious. Contacting.

I just let him cry. Let him call out. Asking for help to feel okay again. To not feel alone anymore. So I held him. I cried with him. When the tears dried up, we wrote a letter to ‘them’. Whoever ‘they’ are. I feel a host of races that are reaching out to him. Reminding him of where he is from and of his exploring and curious nature. For this is their nature too. He asked them to come and visit him whenever they could, no matter how big or small. To let him know they still remember him.

I felt a warm embrace. A subtle energy that all is well. All in time. Neither he nor I are forsaken or forgotten. They just needed the invitation. Auggie offered that he could help them bridge to the people because they are scared and don’t understand. He could help them bridge to parts of me who feel the same. I saw us out in a field together. A wide open space looking out into wide open space. He had that look again. Of wonder. Of curiosity. Of exploring.

He felt more content. More surrendered. More trusting that we will all find our way back ‘home’ because in the end home is the feeling of being held here and now. The dial was turned another degree to the opening of the veil that has kept us feeling separate. Fear and doubt make up some of this veil and we will keep feeling and bridging to those parts of me that hold it up. But today we got to send a postcard of love and feel the immediate message back.

‘We love and miss you too. We are always here.’

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Dear Brother…

Dear Brother
What is it that keeps us apart?
Keeps us torn?
Feeling torn apart?

Dear Brother
What is it that keeps you from your truth?
From your heart?
From your capacity to feel alive?

Dear Brother
What chains bind thee to the concrete walls
That separate your dreams from reality?
What stands between us that keeps us
From seeing one another
As brethren rather than enemies?

Dear Brother
Let us lay down the shields
Take off the armour
Sit naked in the meadow of our vulnerability
And shed the tears of our forgotten unity

Let us hold the candles high
The flame of our Father’s love for life
For The Mother
For our Lover

Let us claim the Feminine within
For She is the portal to our true Masculine
The Spade to Her Chalice
The container to Her ocean

Dear Brother
My heart calls to you
To your quest of truth of heart
And truth of mind
To your desire to leave the system behind
And create a new kingdom
Born of and from Love

Dear Brother
I miss you

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Healing Expressions Of The Rising Sacred Masculine, Pt. 1

An epic SoulFullHeart session with Raphael Awen this weekend. So much so, I will need to write this up in two parts. The first half was a revisiting of my inner masculine part named Marcus. Recently, I have been invited to partake more and more into reintegrating back into service by co-leading with Kalayna Solais a Saturday follow-up discussion group with those that attend the Wednesday Free-To-Be group calls. (For more info on the upcoming series go to soulfullheart.org/freetobe2)

This brought up some prior frequencies within my masculine to show up with some compensatory energy, meaning a little more energized and outbound due to some underlying feeling of inadequacies within him to be a leading edge part of this group. What came up for him was an image of a bull in a china shop. Like he is not sure how to be in a space when things get tender. My feminine is quite capable of holding that space, but Marcus, when he is ‘up’, can be a little more mental in those moments without letting the feeling just do the ‘talking’. 

He began to wonder, “What then is appropriate masculinity?”. That was a portal question to what feels like a grappling of the wounded masculine’s relationship to the feminine, as well as a reaction to what is referred to as ‘toxic masculinity’. There is this fine line of wanting to be in balance and honor with the feminine, express and claim his power and intuitions while avoiding this ‘toxic’ distinction. 

The first thing that was brought to him is that just this very question alone suggests his reverence for the feminine and the holding of the sacred space. It also mirrors a long-standing notion that the feminine is fragile. This was deeply ingrained in me from early on in my life as my mother was a very sensitive and emotional woman in the despair direction. This set up an unhealthy dynamic between her and my inner child that he had to make sure not to ‘hurt mom or else who knows what would happen to her’. 

Well, through much of my healing and experience with other powerful women, I recognized that this was a part of her wounded inner child tugging on my inner child. This ended up transmuting into recycled alcoholism and I eventually had to say no more. I had given all I could until it was clear I had to cut the cord of this dynamic. This has played out in multiple Metasoul timelines as well in regards to feelings of guilt and shame over how I had participated in the suppression and persecution of the women. 

Interesting that I find myself within a more feminine offering to explore and heal all of these wounds and beliefs that I have had around the Feminine itself and women in general. It inversely leads me to more of my own masculine expression as I connect with the relationship to my own feminine and how She is a portal into my sacred masculinity and my Love ambassadorship. But I have had to go here first. To my inner masculine and hash out these old dynamics and create a safe environment to let his masculine flourish like the wild stallion he is and wants to be. 

It felt appropriate to share this after Mother’s Day as a reminder that the relationship to Mom is an integral part of any man’s journey. It really needs to be brought into consciousness so that we can truly see and feel how we relate to Womankind and the Sacred Feminine. Thanks so much for taking this in and I hope that it shines some awareness and questions for your own journeys. 

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.