Love Within to Love With Other

Burning Love by Saara AlhopuroArt & Photography

By Raianna Shai

This is one of those days that calls and aches for inner reflection. For feeling where the love exists inside you and in your outer world as well as where love is lacking. Whether you’re heartbroken, in love, lonely or happily on your own – this is a perfect time to connect with the love flow in your life.

Maybe you want a romance so badly that you feel devastated on days like these. This is a perfect time to feel the ways in which parts of you are actually devastated that you don’t love them the way they want and need. Feeling these parts of you and cultivating true love inside can’t help but draw that same connection on the outside.

Maybe you are heartbroken and recently let go of a romance and this day seems to pour salt in the wound. This would be a perfect time to honour any beauty that existed in the relationship, what you learned about love from it, and why you feel it needed to end. For things begin and end exactly how and why they are meant to.

Maybe you are madly in love and are dizzy with happiness! This is the perfect time to step back and honour yourself for being in a place to draw something that gives you this much joy and love. For that is a reflection of the joy and love inside of you. And a reflection of the joy and love inside your partner.

Maybe you are in a relationship but feel lonely or sad in it anyway. Take a moment to feel what you truly want in a romance and love. Feel into what might be lacking – and turn it inwards. What is lacking in relationship is generally something lacking inside too. Advocate for what you really want and deserve – and go from there.

Maybe you are single and happy and absolutely in love with who and where you are. This is a perfect time to feel gratitude for where you have gotten! This is not an easy place to get to and it may not last forever – but right now everything feels aligned and magical and that is cause for celebration! Perhaps take a moment to feel into the ways that you can deepen this love for yourself, even when it’s hard to.

I think most of us have been in almost every stage on Valentine’s Day in our lives. I know I have….but if I’ve noticed anything this year, it’s that it all comes back to YOU! You are the only one responsible for your heart and how it loves. You have been given the gift of feeling all the ways in which parts of you feel unlovable and loving them anyway. Self love is not selfish. It teaches you how to truly love another and it shows others how you want to be loved.

You are beautiful inside and out. All of our mistakes and “flaws” are forgiven and loved by the Divine and can therefore be forgiven and loved by you. It feels so important on these to take a moment for you, no matter what stage or phase you are in. Maybe then love can pour into all of our hearts and reach those who are struggling to find it themselves. Inner love always reaches the collective – so let’s help each other out by helping ourselves.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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Loving Your Inner Beast

By Raianna Shai

Self judgement and unworthiness are feelings that are hard to reach the root of. It can take years of unraveling just why and how we truly see ourselves and how it plays out in our lives. We can point fingers at all the people who made us feel small. The people who judged us. The people who could never forgive our mistakes. The people who invalidated our feelings.

But what about the part of you that has done all the same things? The part that tells you you’re not good enough. That constantly reminds you of your mistakes. That judges every move you make, every awkward thing you do. What if this part of you wasn’t just judging you, but judging itself? And what if all the hate and anger and insults were just this part’s way of trying to protect you? We are not victims to our circumstances, so anyone or anything that hurts you is a reflection of a part inside that hurts you too.

I’ve been working with this part of me lately, which can be called a Punisher part, to feel how and why my insecurity can get in the way of my own self love and how it affects my relationships. His name is Brutus and he sees himself as a beast – like in Beauty and the Beast. And all of the goodness that lives inside me can be represented by a rose covered in a glass case. He is fiercely loyal and strives to protect this rose by any means necessary. But his version of protection is to judge her until she does everything perfectly – then no one else can judge her.

This part of me is not easy to feel. He is harsh, brutal and very unforgiving. Every person that has ever gotten mad at me, judged me, or insulted me has actually been backed up by him. He takes everything that was said or felt about me and multiplies it by 10. He expects me to do better, he feels ashamed for how I acted or things I said, he punishes me for doing something wrong.

So instead of using the knowledge and intuition he has about my emotions to protect me, he actually just makes me feel worse about it. But one thing I’ve learned is that he just wants love himself. In his vulnerability, he feels so much remorse for how he has made other parts of me feel about themselves and in turn, other people. He feels he doesn’t deserve love or forgiveness.

But the second me and all parts of me truly forgave him, he started to shift massively. He turned into a prince and he could feel all that he has to offer. Intuition, discernment, and a healthy protection and transparency about how I’m really feeling.

So when I am feeling unworthiness or when there is a truth I need to say to someone, I can call on him and his opened out heart to say what I need to say. Instead of letting my hurt build up and explode out, we will work together to be honest and loving to ourselves and others. Because kindness cannot come from an empty vessel. We must cultivate it within ourselves so deeply, that we can’t help but overflow into others.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Pain Of Letting Go Into Love

By Raianna Shai

Letting go is one of the hardest processes we go to through in our lives. Whether it’s letting go of a career, a pattern/habit, a geography, or a relationship it can bring up so much for us to process. Letting go is so much harder than holding on.

Parts of us can judge us for our decision – feeling that you made a mistake, that you hurt or disappointed someone, that you did something wrong or will regret your decision. The best thing to do here is to feel compassion for this part. Give it love knowing that it just wants the best for you and it may be scared that it couldn’t protect you from this pain you may feel.

Letting go is painful but it also leads to a beautiful new beginning. Maybe you get that new job you always wanted or a geography that inspires your heart and soul. Maybe you get the chance at a new phase of an old relationship or a new one that reflects the love you have cultivated inside.

It can feel like you’re dying inside during this process. Like you’ll never feel happy or be yourself again. Or maybe you feel hurt and angry and find it hard to feel why it’s all happening, especially if it felt out of your control. Maybe you can’t feel anything or you can’t stop feeling everything.

And sometimes it comes in waves. A comment here or a reminder there can spark tears at the drop of a hat. Then you have a moment of clarity, a moment of knowing it will all be okay. Then you feel the guilt or the shame and it all comes crumbling back down. These are all parts of you that have reasons for feeling the way they do. Feel the pain, but let the clarity and love hold it all.

Whatever you feel there is always another side of it. A realization waiting to happen. A new love for yourself and life will start to creep in. A new view on what you have and what you want to have will fill your heart and inspire you.

All this can happen if you truly let go. Let go of expectations, let go of judging yourself or others, let go of what others might think of you. Mourn the loss, mourn what could have been and the goodness of what was and then let love fill the space. As hard as that may sound right now, it will come. Whether it takes days, months or years it will come and it will be beautiful.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Inside-Out Reflection

Many things have shifted for me in the past couple of months since moving back to Canada. Moving into a new house, experiencing a new social terrain, exploring new relationships, diving into new places within myself. Reflecting on the past year I feel how much I have cultivated for myself just by going in and putting my process first.

One year ago I was living in Mexico, I spent most of my time alone or with my community, I was living in a cheap apartment that I did my best to make my own, I was focused on my process and yet parts of me were still very good at avoiding the hard parts.

One year later I am in one situation after another that pushes up process. Everything is new, everything is growing and changing. I am experiencing things socially and emotionally that I haven’t felt in over a year and through that, I can feel how much I have grown.

If there is one thing I have learned from my experiences this year, it’s the importance of going in. I have had so much fear dictate and run my life. All for good reason, but it also ran out of ground. I got to the point in my life where nothing I did felt like it had any meaning. My heart wasn’t soaring or passionate about anything I was doing and feeling, I felt like I was at a standstill with growth and lacked any sense of inspiration.

Finally, I was able to open up to something new and scary: my inner world. Now that I have begun diving deep into my emotional and spiritual body I can feel the gifts of every phase of life that I have had. The phases I miss, the phases parts of me feel shame about, the phases I honour, my current phase of being. It has all been sacred and has led me to where I am today – which is just about everything I have ever dreamed of. But I know that I would not be able to see it that way had I not healed what I needed to in order to really let it in.

It’s hard to really SEE beyond the eyes when you have not learned to see inside.

It’s hard to love another when you have not loved your own aching parts.

It’s hard to have gratitude when the shadow is not honoured too.

It is hard to move forward when you have not moved inwards.

I still have pain, fear, anger, and sadness within my shadow but knowing that I have cultivated the time and space to feel and love it all makes all the difference in the world. I feel all of the people my age that have such a strong desire to feel passion and to make something of their lives, but if I can teach anything from my own experience – it’s to heal, with love and curiosity, everything you can first.

You can change anything you want on the outside and feel motivated and inspired but what keeps that fire alive is how you feel within yourself. How you experience and notice every moment changes your outer reality. I have seen and felt this over and over again and cannot suggest it enough.

I adore my process and want to share it with you, if any interest arises. My lovely community provides sessions and support through all of this – you can read more at http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Beauty That Is You

By Raianna Shai

As I watch the sunset tonight I reflect on all the beauty that surrounds me. The beauty that I alchemized for myself. The beauty that is reflected within me.

When we take in beauty like sunsets, we are really taking in ourselves. The beauty of ourselves. You can only let in the love that you have cultivated within. And from there, is where you give to others.

I came onto my yoga mat this evening feeling less than perfect. Less than worthy. I’ve always been very sensitive to how I am perceived and what others think of me. So one small thing can send parts of me spiralling into a suffering loop about not being good enough.

I checked in with this part of me while in puppy posture and asked why I felt this sadness every time something like that came up.

He told me “Because I know that if you feel sad or guilty enough, you’ll do everything in your power to prevent it from happening again. So we don’t have to feel the sadness. So no one can judge you. It’s for your protection.”

I felt to say back, “But why am I not perfect exactly where I am now? Why is this not good enough?”

I felt tears start to come as this part of me started to let in the reality that I was talking about him, too.

I transitioned into a new position so that I could take in the sunset amidst this process, and the tears started to flow.

Look at all of this beauty, I thought. The love in my life, the love in my soul, the love in the sky this very moment.

I know there is shadow within me. Darkness, sadness, anger, fear. But that’s all a part of the beauty.

We would have no sunsets without darkness. The colours would not stand out the way that they do.

And my darkness and shadow is not wrong, the way the night sky is not wrong. It is passion and power. It is the part of my essence that can provide me with discernment, boundaries and confidence. It is one of the strongest parts of me, especially when it can let in my love.

I make mistakes. I have the capacity to hurt. I can feel things I would never wish anyone to feel. But I am still worthy. These dark parts of me are still worthy. You and your parts are still worthy of all the love you can possibly imagine. Of every ounce of love you have to give.

It’s time now to go in, take responsibility for the shadow, feel any remorse that comes up, and then forgive. Forgive so that you can let in the beauty that is YOU.

To The Precious Parts Of You

By Raianna Shai

To the part that protects: 

Thank you for your service

And for keeping me from harm

I love the way you care for me

And how you work so hard

But it’s time to rest now

And let me lead my heart

For now you have a brand new job

To feel your bigness soar

 

To the part from the “past”:

You show up as my inner teen

The part of me that questions

Just what and when and how things work

And why we aren’t all honest

I love your flow of truth and passion

How truly you want change

But now we choose to heal ourselves

To forge the path ahead

 

To the youngest of parts:

Your precious laugh, tears and smile

Fill my heart with joy

The way you see the world around you

As an extension of the heart

I love the magic in your being

The fears and worries, too

I am here now, to protect you

And let your love shine through 

 

To the keeper of the soul:

The work you do is magical

And really quite a feat

I stand in awe of your grand grace

But wonder how you are

The time is now to journey on

Into the Metasoul 

And then you will be done on earth

To carry on your heart

 

To the part that judges:

I understand how you must feel

When people say you’re “bad”

We’re told to push and shove you down

But you just want to help

Thank you for protecting me

The only way you know

But now it’s time to learn from love

And lower down your sword

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Anniversary Of Choosing Love

By Raianna Shai

It has been exactly one year today that I moved to Mexico. Not only that, but it has been one year that I really began to see myself. To honour the unique and different parts of me that may not always coexist in harmony, but that I have come to realize care for me and each other so deeply.

One year ago I began a deep dive into my emotional body and spirituality that shone a light into the dark corners of my existence. What I uncovered were often scared parts that felt unworthy of love. From a fierce protector that did anything it could to protect me and my other parts to those young and pure parts that I felt needed protecting.

The biggest and most beautiful thing that I learned this year was how to love. How to love these parts of me, because that’s all they really need and want. To love others so genuinely that I can let them go knowing it’s best for the both of us. To love all of the souls I haven’t met yet by cultivating love within myself first.

I have learned and felt how setting boundaries (with love) is the biggest way to nourish your soul and to send the message to your parts that they matter. That the energy I choose to be around and take in, matters. I have learned that boundaries don’t mean hate or not accepting someone for who they are. When done from the heart, boundaries are the most loving thing you can do when someone you care about cannot yet see their own bigness or yours.

I spent a lot of time away from my family before moving here but something has changed. They aren’t just my family anymore, they are my soul family. I’m at a place now where I don’t have to hide. I don’t have to put everyone else first because I know that they are taking care of their own parts as lovingly and fully as possible.

I’ve always loved helping others. Talking through what was going on in their lives, making them feel better, finding solutions or a silver lining. But I wasn’t giving that to myself at all. I was so scared of the dark places inside of me that I couldn’t even nourish the light. I would help anyone I could to escape the emptiness I felt inside. I felt so disconnected from my soul and judgement towards the intense emotions I could feel sometimes. It was like a drug hit to be able to feel someone else because in some ways I refused to feel my own parts.

Even when no one asked, when they would never expect me to hold as much as I did, I was there. It was my vice, my escape, to be able to be in their world and not my own, knowing I wasn’t happy. Knowing I wasn’t doing what was really in my heart. While also knowing I couldn’t help anyone in the way that I really wanted to.

I’ve got a lot more exploring to do but I feel that I am where I am meant to be in this moment. I am happy, I am becoming more fulfilled each and every day, and I am open to whatever it is this life (and others) lead me to next. I chose everything I have experienced this life and I’m more than happy that it led me here.

So thank you. To SoulFullHeart, to my soul family, to everyone who has ever touched my heart, to my parts, to my experiences, and to myself. For this journey we’re all on is precious. It’s hard, it’s arduous, and it can feel complicated to parts of us. But wow does it keep on giving us gifts!

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

“Generation Me”: Love Yo’self

By Raianna Shai

Okay peeps, let’s jump back on that Millennial train! All aboard the Generation Express!

I’ve been feeling into this topic more and more and even decided to do a bit of research today to get a feel of how others perceive Millennials. The biggest thing I grabbed from this research that ties it all together is the label “Generation Me”. This feels interesting to me because it covers the perceptions of this generation being both narcissistic and open minded. There seems to be an agreement that technology and the Great Recession have had huge impacts on our generation as well.

That felt a bit like writing an essay but part of me (probably my masculine) wanted part of my digestion to be “informed”. Now to feel my feminine intuition and what the plights, struggles and desires are in general for people around my age.

Feeling into this “Generation Me” label, my first thought is that this feels true on some levels. I feel that technology has not changed anything about who we are, but it has ushered in a new wave of self awareness. How we present ourselves has become more relevant because more people can “see” us online rather than just in person. It’s impossible to say whether an entire group of people is self absorbed or just self aware – the important thing is feeling how this “Me” space can become emotionally and spiritually healthy.

Being self aware does not have to be a negative thing. In fact, nothing is truly “negative” when you feel the layers deep down inside. Someone who seems “materialistic” “narcissistic” or “entitled” really just has parts that are scared. Scared of failure, of losing what they love, of not being good enough or being abandoned. Of course, these parts need a mirror to be able to take responsibility for how they affect others, but they also need love and support. They don’t need to feel wrong or less than any other parts, they just need a boundary and a space to feel their fears. This in turn can transmute into more self loving feelings such as confidence, self acceptance, and trust in the Divine.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are people at this age that are seen as tolerant, open-minded, and selfless. These are all beautiful things to be, but where does the self care come into this? The more narcissistic parts of you may seem “bad” compared to these other parts of you, but their gift is that they know how to put themselves first. Which does NOT make you selfish or unable to serve others. Putting your own process first just means that you feel worthy of love and understand that it’s so important to fill up your own love tank before you can fill up others.

Many of my own parts tend to be more like this and I find it so difficult to speak my truth. My parts don’t quite have the self love built up enough to express love in the form of boundaries and truth telling. They can feel like they’re being “mean” or “unfair” when in reality their truths can be beautiful enough to catapult someone into their next phase of bigness. Tolerance sounds great on the surface, but would you rather be tolerated by someone, or truly loved for the bigness you are?

I still have more to feel into this piece on “tolerance” because it is SO huge today, and I want to feel what my deepest truth is around it. My parts want to love everyone fully and completely and I do feel that I love everyone and every soul here with me in this experience. But this does not equate unconditional love. We have conditions in order to be in relationship. My conditions lie in a healthy and loving relationship to emotions and parts, an ongoing process of getting know and love those parts, and a self awareness that continues to lead to heart openings within and without. That doesn’t mean I don’t have love in my heart for absolutely everyone, that is the difference.

Maybe your conditions are just “don’t be a murderer” but it is a condition all the same. These boundaries show your parts that they matter. That they don’t have to be around any energy that makes them feel less than loved. Even contention can be full of love if it continues to move, flow, and be felt deeply. Boundaries do not make you a mean or selfish person, they show others that you hold them in the highest regard. It shows that you know they have the potential for such bigness and that that is all you can truly support for them. Boundaries held with your heart, are love.

So to “Generation Me” I say, whether you have parts that resonate with any of this or not, you are not wrong and your parts are not wrong. Living in self love and truth every single day takes time and work but it is SO worth it. YOU are worth it. Labels do nothing but hold you back from the absolute bigness that your heart really holds. You are not narcissistic, you are not mean, you are not even perfect. You are you. And THAT is perfect.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Love Is Always A Choice

Art by Regina Lord of Creative Kismet

By Raianna Shai

It’s not easy being here. It’s not easy being in a human body, in a 3D world.

You may feel lost sometimes. Scared and alone. You may lose all hope of ever finding your way back to love, back to you.

Getting help is always an option. But the best thing you can ever do, is come back home within.

You are strong. You are capable. You are bigger than parts of you are even ready to understand.

You may hear a voice inside of you telling you you’re not good enough. That nothing you do is right. That you’re not worthy of love.

This voice, this part of you, is not evil. If anything this part of you is doing everything in its power to protect you. To keep your precious heart from feeling the pain of judgement from others.

You may want this voice to go away, to stop treating you like you’re small. And saying no to this is important. But what if we give it something it has never known before. Love.

Love is something that every cell in our body responds to. Love is something that can heal all wounds. All pain, suffering and anything we have made to be “bad”.

Because everything IS love. That voice inside of you that cannot bear to believe it’s worthy of any goodness. The people that judge you because their parts are judging themselves too. It’s all love.

In the grand scheme of things, we can be nothing but love. We can act in fear. We can protect onto others, we can get angry, we can harm, but we are still love. No matter what.

So why give yourself anything other than that? Why remain in situations that serve anything but love? Why stay in something that makes your stomach churn, that hurts your heart, that doesn’t align with your truth and passion?

Our soul knows what we need in order to heal. We draw situations that allow us to grow as souls and we need them in order to wake up to this reality. But we still have choices. We can still choose love. We can always choose love.

From my guides, heart, and soul to yours.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, programs, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Authenticity Of The Heart

By Raianna Shai

I’ve been feeling into authenticity lately. What it means, what it looks like, how it feels. To be authentic, to me, means not only to be real but to be transparent. To be honest with where you’re at even if part of you feels like you should be somewhere else.

To serve love in authenticity requires a level of vulnerable transparency. Even the most healed, most in 5D and the most genuine of us aren’t at that place 100% of the time. And why would we want to be? That means you’re done growing, you have nothing left to learn, your soul can no longer expand. We are far too infinite for that to ever happen.

So instead of seeing where I want to be as an end goal, I am choosing for it to be a reflection of where I am now. There is nothing wrong with where we are in this moment. Whether we are in pain, in deep tears, in what feels like an uncontrollable rage, completely neutral or in bliss – it is all sacred.

Today, I feel so so sleepy. Yes, I woke up at 4:30am to teach English but I’ve already taken a nap and barely left my bed since. My authenticity in this moment is not my ideal 5D self. Part of me feels judgement about being so tired, part of me feels resistant to being curious about my tiredness and another part of me just feels plain content and pretty comfortable at the moment.

Feeling where I desire to be, how my highest self exists right now, I am okay with where I am. I am not in bliss in this moment. My parts don’t feel completely comfortable nor are they overflowing with happiness. I am not heart wrenchingly sad, I am not going through a deep process. I am where I am and that’s okay.

I had no plan of where this was going but maybe someone out there needed to hear this. I know how much pressure there is in 3D to feel happy and light. To not be a “downer” and to make situations more comfortable for others. But it’s okay to feel the parts of you that are so not okay. I invite anyone reading this to breathe, close your eyes, go in, and just feel. Just be. You ARE enough, you ARE loved, and you ARE worthy.

The heart is always authentic, whether you and your parts are open to it or not. It will always be real.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, programs, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.