The Pain Of Letting Go Into Love

By Raianna Shai

Letting go is one of the hardest processes we go to through in our lives. Whether it’s letting go of a career, a pattern/habit, a geography, or a relationship it can bring up so much for us to process. Letting go is so much harder than holding on.

Parts of us can judge us for our decision – feeling that you made a mistake, that you hurt or disappointed someone, that you did something wrong or will regret your decision. The best thing to do here is to feel compassion for this part. Give it love knowing that it just wants the best for you and it may be scared that it couldn’t protect you from this pain you may feel.

Letting go is painful but it also leads to a beautiful new beginning. Maybe you get that new job you always wanted or a geography that inspires your heart and soul. Maybe you get the chance at a new phase of an old relationship or a new one that reflects the love you have cultivated inside.

It can feel like you’re dying inside during this process. Like you’ll never feel happy or be yourself again. Or maybe you feel hurt and angry and find it hard to feel why it’s all happening, especially if it felt out of your control. Maybe you can’t feel anything or you can’t stop feeling everything.

And sometimes it comes in waves. A comment here or a reminder there can spark tears at the drop of a hat. Then you have a moment of clarity, a moment of knowing it will all be okay. Then you feel the guilt or the shame and it all comes crumbling back down. These are all parts of you that have reasons for feeling the way they do. Feel the pain, but let the clarity and love hold it all.

Whatever you feel there is always another side of it. A realization waiting to happen. A new love for yourself and life will start to creep in. A new view on what you have and what you want to have will fill your heart and inspire you.

All this can happen if you truly let go. Let go of expectations, let go of judging yourself or others, let go of what others might think of you. Mourn the loss, mourn what could have been and the goodness of what was and then let love fill the space. As hard as that may sound right now, it will come. Whether it takes days, months or years it will come and it will be beautiful.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter:


Inside-Out Reflection

Many things have shifted for me in the past couple of months since moving back to Canada. Moving into a new house, experiencing a new social terrain, exploring new relationships, diving into new places within myself. Reflecting on the past year I feel how much I have cultivated for myself just by going in and putting my process first.

One year ago I was living in Mexico, I spent most of my time alone or with my community, I was living in a cheap apartment that I did my best to make my own, I was focused on my process and yet parts of me were still very good at avoiding the hard parts.

One year later I am in one situation after another that pushes up process. Everything is new, everything is growing and changing. I am experiencing things socially and emotionally that I haven’t felt in over a year and through that, I can feel how much I have grown.

If there is one thing I have learned from my experiences this year, it’s the importance of going in. I have had so much fear dictate and run my life. All for good reason, but it also ran out of ground. I got to the point in my life where nothing I did felt like it had any meaning. My heart wasn’t soaring or passionate about anything I was doing and feeling, I felt like I was at a standstill with growth and lacked any sense of inspiration.

Finally, I was able to open up to something new and scary: my inner world. Now that I have begun diving deep into my emotional and spiritual body I can feel the gifts of every phase of life that I have had. The phases I miss, the phases parts of me feel shame about, the phases I honour, my current phase of being. It has all been sacred and has led me to where I am today – which is just about everything I have ever dreamed of. But I know that I would not be able to see it that way had I not healed what I needed to in order to really let it in.

It’s hard to really SEE beyond the eyes when you have not learned to see inside.

It’s hard to love another when you have not loved your own aching parts.

It’s hard to have gratitude when the shadow is not honoured too.

It is hard to move forward when you have not moved inwards.

I still have pain, fear, anger, and sadness within my shadow but knowing that I have cultivated the time and space to feel and love it all makes all the difference in the world. I feel all of the people my age that have such a strong desire to feel passion and to make something of their lives, but if I can teach anything from my own experience – it’s to heal, with love and curiosity, everything you can first.

You can change anything you want on the outside and feel motivated and inspired but what keeps that fire alive is how you feel within yourself. How you experience and notice every moment changes your outer reality. I have seen and felt this over and over again and cannot suggest it enough.

I adore my process and want to share it with you, if any interest arises. My lovely community provides sessions and support through all of this – you can read more at

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter:

The Beauty That Is You

By Raianna Shai

As I watch the sunset tonight I reflect on all the beauty that surrounds me. The beauty that I alchemized for myself. The beauty that is reflected within me.

When we take in beauty like sunsets, we are really taking in ourselves. The beauty of ourselves. You can only let in the love that you have cultivated within. And from there, is where you give to others.

I came onto my yoga mat this evening feeling less than perfect. Less than worthy. I’ve always been very sensitive to how I am perceived and what others think of me. So one small thing can send parts of me spiralling into a suffering loop about not being good enough.

I checked in with this part of me while in puppy posture and asked why I felt this sadness every time something like that came up.

He told me “Because I know that if you feel sad or guilty enough, you’ll do everything in your power to prevent it from happening again. So we don’t have to feel the sadness. So no one can judge you. It’s for your protection.”

I felt to say back, “But why am I not perfect exactly where I am now? Why is this not good enough?”

I felt tears start to come as this part of me started to let in the reality that I was talking about him, too.

I transitioned into a new position so that I could take in the sunset amidst this process, and the tears started to flow.

Look at all of this beauty, I thought. The love in my life, the love in my soul, the love in the sky this very moment.

I know there is shadow within me. Darkness, sadness, anger, fear. But that’s all a part of the beauty.

We would have no sunsets without darkness. The colours would not stand out the way that they do.

And my darkness and shadow is not wrong, the way the night sky is not wrong. It is passion and power. It is the part of my essence that can provide me with discernment, boundaries and confidence. It is one of the strongest parts of me, especially when it can let in my love.

I make mistakes. I have the capacity to hurt. I can feel things I would never wish anyone to feel. But I am still worthy. These dark parts of me are still worthy. You and your parts are still worthy of all the love you can possibly imagine. Of every ounce of love you have to give.

It’s time now to go in, take responsibility for the shadow, feel any remorse that comes up, and then forgive. Forgive so that you can let in the beauty that is YOU.

To The Precious Parts Of You

By Raianna Shai

To the part that protects: 

Thank you for your service

And for keeping me from harm

I love the way you care for me

And how you work so hard

But it’s time to rest now

And let me lead my heart

For now you have a brand new job

To feel your bigness soar


To the part from the “past”:

You show up as my inner teen

The part of me that questions

Just what and when and how things work

And why we aren’t all honest

I love your flow of truth and passion

How truly you want change

But now we choose to heal ourselves

To forge the path ahead


To the youngest of parts:

Your precious laugh, tears and smile

Fill my heart with joy

The way you see the world around you

As an extension of the heart

I love the magic in your being

The fears and worries, too

I am here now, to protect you

And let your love shine through 


To the keeper of the soul:

The work you do is magical

And really quite a feat

I stand in awe of your grand grace

But wonder how you are

The time is now to journey on

Into the Metasoul 

And then you will be done on earth

To carry on your heart


To the part that judges:

I understand how you must feel

When people say you’re “bad”

We’re told to push and shove you down

But you just want to help

Thank you for protecting me

The only way you know

But now it’s time to learn from love

And lower down your sword


Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter:

The Anniversary Of Choosing Love

By Raianna Shai

It has been exactly one year today that I moved to Mexico. Not only that, but it has been one year that I really began to see myself. To honour the unique and different parts of me that may not always coexist in harmony, but that I have come to realize care for me and each other so deeply.

One year ago I began a deep dive into my emotional body and spirituality that shone a light into the dark corners of my existence. What I uncovered were often scared parts that felt unworthy of love. From a fierce protector that did anything it could to protect me and my other parts to those young and pure parts that I felt needed protecting.

The biggest and most beautiful thing that I learned this year was how to love. How to love these parts of me, because that’s all they really need and want. To love others so genuinely that I can let them go knowing it’s best for the both of us. To love all of the souls I haven’t met yet by cultivating love within myself first.

I have learned and felt how setting boundaries (with love) is the biggest way to nourish your soul and to send the message to your parts that they matter. That the energy I choose to be around and take in, matters. I have learned that boundaries don’t mean hate or not accepting someone for who they are. When done from the heart, boundaries are the most loving thing you can do when someone you care about cannot yet see their own bigness or yours.

I spent a lot of time away from my family before moving here but something has changed. They aren’t just my family anymore, they are my soul family. I’m at a place now where I don’t have to hide. I don’t have to put everyone else first because I know that they are taking care of their own parts as lovingly and fully as possible.

I’ve always loved helping others. Talking through what was going on in their lives, making them feel better, finding solutions or a silver lining. But I wasn’t giving that to myself at all. I was so scared of the dark places inside of me that I couldn’t even nourish the light. I would help anyone I could to escape the emptiness I felt inside. I felt so disconnected from my soul and judgement towards the intense emotions I could feel sometimes. It was like a drug hit to be able to feel someone else because in some ways I refused to feel my own parts.

Even when no one asked, when they would never expect me to hold as much as I did, I was there. It was my vice, my escape, to be able to be in their world and not my own, knowing I wasn’t happy. Knowing I wasn’t doing what was really in my heart. While also knowing I couldn’t help anyone in the way that I really wanted to.

I’ve got a lot more exploring to do but I feel that I am where I am meant to be in this moment. I am happy, I am becoming more fulfilled each and every day, and I am open to whatever it is this life (and others) lead me to next. I chose everything I have experienced this life and I’m more than happy that it led me here.

So thank you. To SoulFullHeart, to my soul family, to everyone who has ever touched my heart, to my parts, to my experiences, and to myself. For this journey we’re all on is precious. It’s hard, it’s arduous, and it can feel complicated to parts of us. But wow does it keep on giving us gifts!

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter:

“Generation Me”: Love Yo’self

By Raianna Shai

Okay peeps, let’s jump back on that Millennial train! All aboard the Generation Express!

I’ve been feeling into this topic more and more and even decided to do a bit of research today to get a feel of how others perceive Millennials. The biggest thing I grabbed from this research that ties it all together is the label “Generation Me”. This feels interesting to me because it covers the perceptions of this generation being both narcissistic and open minded. There seems to be an agreement that technology and the Great Recession have had huge impacts on our generation as well.

That felt a bit like writing an essay but part of me (probably my masculine) wanted part of my digestion to be “informed”. Now to feel my feminine intuition and what the plights, struggles and desires are in general for people around my age.

Feeling into this “Generation Me” label, my first thought is that this feels true on some levels. I feel that technology has not changed anything about who we are, but it has ushered in a new wave of self awareness. How we present ourselves has become more relevant because more people can “see” us online rather than just in person. It’s impossible to say whether an entire group of people is self absorbed or just self aware – the important thing is feeling how this “Me” space can become emotionally and spiritually healthy.

Being self aware does not have to be a negative thing. In fact, nothing is truly “negative” when you feel the layers deep down inside. Someone who seems “materialistic” “narcissistic” or “entitled” really just has parts that are scared. Scared of failure, of losing what they love, of not being good enough or being abandoned. Of course, these parts need a mirror to be able to take responsibility for how they affect others, but they also need love and support. They don’t need to feel wrong or less than any other parts, they just need a boundary and a space to feel their fears. This in turn can transmute into more self loving feelings such as confidence, self acceptance, and trust in the Divine.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are people at this age that are seen as tolerant, open-minded, and selfless. These are all beautiful things to be, but where does the self care come into this? The more narcissistic parts of you may seem “bad” compared to these other parts of you, but their gift is that they know how to put themselves first. Which does NOT make you selfish or unable to serve others. Putting your own process first just means that you feel worthy of love and understand that it’s so important to fill up your own love tank before you can fill up others.

Many of my own parts tend to be more like this and I find it so difficult to speak my truth. My parts don’t quite have the self love built up enough to express love in the form of boundaries and truth telling. They can feel like they’re being “mean” or “unfair” when in reality their truths can be beautiful enough to catapult someone into their next phase of bigness. Tolerance sounds great on the surface, but would you rather be tolerated by someone, or truly loved for the bigness you are?

I still have more to feel into this piece on “tolerance” because it is SO huge today, and I want to feel what my deepest truth is around it. My parts want to love everyone fully and completely and I do feel that I love everyone and every soul here with me in this experience. But this does not equate unconditional love. We have conditions in order to be in relationship. My conditions lie in a healthy and loving relationship to emotions and parts, an ongoing process of getting know and love those parts, and a self awareness that continues to lead to heart openings within and without. That doesn’t mean I don’t have love in my heart for absolutely everyone, that is the difference.

Maybe your conditions are just “don’t be a murderer” but it is a condition all the same. These boundaries show your parts that they matter. That they don’t have to be around any energy that makes them feel less than loved. Even contention can be full of love if it continues to move, flow, and be felt deeply. Boundaries do not make you a mean or selfish person, they show others that you hold them in the highest regard. It shows that you know they have the potential for such bigness and that that is all you can truly support for them. Boundaries held with your heart, are love.

So to “Generation Me” I say, whether you have parts that resonate with any of this or not, you are not wrong and your parts are not wrong. Living in self love and truth every single day takes time and work but it is SO worth it. YOU are worth it. Labels do nothing but hold you back from the absolute bigness that your heart really holds. You are not narcissistic, you are not mean, you are not even perfect. You are you. And THAT is perfect.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter:

Love Is Always A Choice

Art by Regina Lord of Creative Kismet

By Raianna Shai

It’s not easy being here. It’s not easy being in a human body, in a 3D world.

You may feel lost sometimes. Scared and alone. You may lose all hope of ever finding your way back to love, back to you.

Getting help is always an option. But the best thing you can ever do, is come back home within.

You are strong. You are capable. You are bigger than parts of you are even ready to understand.

You may hear a voice inside of you telling you you’re not good enough. That nothing you do is right. That you’re not worthy of love.

This voice, this part of you, is not evil. If anything this part of you is doing everything in its power to protect you. To keep your precious heart from feeling the pain of judgement from others.

You may want this voice to go away, to stop treating you like you’re small. And saying no to this is important. But what if we give it something it has never known before. Love.

Love is something that every cell in our body responds to. Love is something that can heal all wounds. All pain, suffering and anything we have made to be “bad”.

Because everything IS love. That voice inside of you that cannot bear to believe it’s worthy of any goodness. The people that judge you because their parts are judging themselves too. It’s all love.

In the grand scheme of things, we can be nothing but love. We can act in fear. We can protect onto others, we can get angry, we can harm, but we are still love. No matter what.

So why give yourself anything other than that? Why remain in situations that serve anything but love? Why stay in something that makes your stomach churn, that hurts your heart, that doesn’t align with your truth and passion?

Our soul knows what we need in order to heal. We draw situations that allow us to grow as souls and we need them in order to wake up to this reality. But we still have choices. We can still choose love. We can always choose love.

From my guides, heart, and soul to yours.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about sessions, programs, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter:

Authenticity Of The Heart

By Raianna Shai

I’ve been feeling into authenticity lately. What it means, what it looks like, how it feels. To be authentic, to me, means not only to be real but to be transparent. To be honest with where you’re at even if part of you feels like you should be somewhere else.

To serve love in authenticity requires a level of vulnerable transparency. Even the most healed, most in 5D and the most genuine of us aren’t at that place 100% of the time. And why would we want to be? That means you’re done growing, you have nothing left to learn, your soul can no longer expand. We are far too infinite for that to ever happen.

So instead of seeing where I want to be as an end goal, I am choosing for it to be a reflection of where I am now. There is nothing wrong with where we are in this moment. Whether we are in pain, in deep tears, in what feels like an uncontrollable rage, completely neutral or in bliss – it is all sacred.

Today, I feel so so sleepy. Yes, I woke up at 4:30am to teach English but I’ve already taken a nap and barely left my bed since. My authenticity in this moment is not my ideal 5D self. Part of me feels judgement about being so tired, part of me feels resistant to being curious about my tiredness and another part of me just feels plain content and pretty comfortable at the moment.

Feeling where I desire to be, how my highest self exists right now, I am okay with where I am. I am not in bliss in this moment. My parts don’t feel completely comfortable nor are they overflowing with happiness. I am not heart wrenchingly sad, I am not going through a deep process. I am where I am and that’s okay.

I had no plan of where this was going but maybe someone out there needed to hear this. I know how much pressure there is in 3D to feel happy and light. To not be a “downer” and to make situations more comfortable for others. But it’s okay to feel the parts of you that are so not okay. I invite anyone reading this to breathe, close your eyes, go in, and just feel. Just be. You ARE enough, you ARE loved, and you ARE worthy.

The heart is always authentic, whether you and your parts are open to it or not. It will always be real.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about sessions, programs, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter:

What Being A Millennial Means To Me

By Raianna Shai

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what being a “millennial” really means. Part of me is still very attached to TV shows but sometimes interesting things can come out of watching them. Many of the current shows that are airing now mention current generations in some form or another – an aspect that is actually reflective of these generations. Millennials received much attention and analysis for some time but the attention is now shifting to Generation Z.

If you don’t know much about what these generations are known for, I’ll start by generalizing an entire age group of people (not a very millennial or gen z thing to do 😉 . These two generations have brought a rise in social media, selfies, technological knowledge, political awareness, social justice, political correctness, sensitivity, sexual openness and acceptance, gender fluidity, desire for self love, support of marijuana legalization, awareness of racism and sexism, digital nomads, etc. What first comes to mind when I feel into the connection of all of these things: self awareness.

When I feel into what being a millennial means to me, self awareness is what I think of first. This can be shown in so many unique and diverse ways and has given our generations mixed reviews. On the shadow side, self awareness can be displayed as narcissism, self-centeredness, finding love and approval through likes on a selfie or post, looking at magazines as a resource for how you’re supposed to look, valuing money and material possessions as signs that you’ve “made it” and that you may actually be worth something and so much more. You can see this in people my age and feel all sorts of judgement and anger about what they choose to care about, but what I see in this pattern is fear.

A fear that we can’t possibly live up to the expectations of generations before us. The generations that were lucky if they could land a lucrative career, get married and have a beautiful family. These were the things that everyone wanted, it was the American dream. But something has shifted in the collective consciousness around this. Houses got more expensive, relationships became more complicated, people were getting tired of not being who they really were or getting what they really wanted. Values changed, passions were different and it was hard for parents to understand. Happiness no longer came with the “typical” life but what it did come with was fear. The fear of not being accepted, of not being loved by our families because we wanted something different, even the fear of not being accepting enough of other people in our generation.

So some turned to the only thing they knew that could prove they were doing something right: likes, follows, subscribers. Sure, parts can judge this as narcissism and a heavy focus on looks as a means of receiving love. But what’s really interesting is that something amazing started to come from this. Likes and comments were leading to 16 year-olds making money from their passion for make-up artistry. Kids and teenagers were able to do what they loved, from their own home, while going to school and becoming well-known and sometimes even paid. Travelling was made possible through working online and making a living just by talking about their passion for their lifestyle.

So then we feel into the light side of self awareness. This leads to compassion, open mindedness, interest in political and social issues, noticing how we affect others, valuing how we treat ourselves, changing the way we use our words and shift our energy, reevaluating what our passion really is and what we want to do with it – more love and less fear. If I’ve learned anything this past week, it’s that you can’t have the light without the dark.

It feels like it was almost imperative to have a wave of self consciousness. From that blooms the awareness that the approval of others themselves does not lead to happiness, but that their support and your own confidence in yourself can lead to you doing something you really love.

When I see videos of young kids giving motivational speeches, high school students speaking out for their rights, and people my age loving others despite their appearance, race, or sexuality – that’s when I know something’s changing. Collective consciousness is shifting to a higher frequency, and the “evidence” is right in front of our eyes. Some of us are here to be lawmakers, rule breakers, and game changers but if I could feel in my heart one more thing that I want for this ever changing world? More real love, more truth, more heart and soul. We are not victims to our circumstances, we are given every single experience for a reason and we chose it. If we shift the way we see our lives and ourselves we could easily go from powerless to powerful and that – that would change us and the world.

If I could wish for anything it would be for us humans to lay down our weapons and our fists, to set aside our fears of not fitting in or being loved, to no longer need labels or defenses, and to go IN. Go into our hearts and feel compassion for ourselves and the parts of US that are scared, first. We can fight and even love on the outside all we want, but the biggest, brightest and most beautifully catalytic change that can happen is inside. We all so badly want something from the world and from others but what if we can find all of that and MORE right here at home in ourselves.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about sessions, programs, Unity Meditations, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter:

SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter: The Great Alchemy of REALizing Ourselves

It’s the release of our weekly museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week!

SoulFullHeart Facilitator Gabriel Heartman starts off this museletter with a writing describing the awakening process and what it looks and feels like to say YES to some things and NO to others. He shares how this process of realization leads to accepting and loving your own bigness and everything that you are, while ending the patterns and connections that no longer serve.

Gabriel states in this writing, “You are reconstituting what it means to be alive and real. No more will you accept what had been acceptable. No more will you hold the needs of others more than the needs of your own. No more will you forget what was always meant to be re-membered back into your sacred human consciousness. Your feminine and masculine heart.”

We share our uniquely individual yet collective voice representing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life through many beautiful digestions in writing and video this week from all the SoulFullHeart Facilitators, including Kalayna Colibri and Jelelle Awen, as well as a new blog series from Raphael Awen called “Entering The Superabundance That You Are”.

Many of these writings have been turned into audio blogs for you to either listen to or read along with our voices. These are all available on YouTube SoulFullHeart Experience.

We share about some events we have coming up to bring in frequencies of Unity Consciousness and more support for you to navigate the current energies. Join us for a free Unity Meditation call on April 14th.

Jelelle is offering private, one on one 90 minute sessions with her over zoom to bridge to your awakening process, locate where you are, and your highest timeline manifestation. More information here:

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy to receive whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate:

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: