Energy Update: Dark Mother/Kali Energies Guiding Us Through Death/Rebirth Cycles

by Kalayna Solais

There are two (maybe more) new worlds/realities dawning now and they are both powerful. One is a dystopia and the other a utopia (or with great potential to become this!). One moves farther away from love and into denser and denser consciousness grounds and suffering loops, while the other moves consciously and passionately towards love and everything that means… all that needs to be looked and felt within, especially, to be able to let love in.

It’s a time of great PURGatory before the healing and reconciliation of these two realities can really land. This healing has already begun and is actually helping to fuel this phase we’re still in of tensions and emotional breaking points.


Energies of war, battling, needing to be right, needing to prove, needing to scorn, needing to oppose, needing to hate, are coming UP and OUT like ooze. Like the worst hangover imaginable after so many years of medicating and denying the rage (which is really uninitiated passion) that needs to move through and also the medicating that has put away the need for self-love and self-loving decisions that are practical yet also spiritual and consciously felt through. This is sacred ground and there is MUCH to realize but even more to feel.

There’s been a sense of ‘hold on to the handrails!’ lately while SO many storms move through. We’re invited, always, into our own pacing that feels right to us about how many personal choices for the sake of our growth, ascension, and deepening self-love we are ready to make and when…. yet too, this is a powerful time with many Kali/Dark Mother energies inviting us into Her loving yet unsentimental LOVE furnace of death and rebirth. She invites us all into our soul bigness, our holding of ourselves and our inner realities, while we navigate the currently choppy waters swirling around and through us.

As always in times of great purgation and change, these storm-dances are necessary to help us all awaken and grow. We are NOT meant to suffer in these grounds, but to keep choosing love over fear, compassion over comparison, vulnerability over fighting, honesty over strategizing.

The new and most desired world possible HAS to come up from within each of us individually. It won’t be handed to us by anyone but our sovereign and growing Divine selves and our sacred learning process of what it means to embody that.

Every moment there are new choices to make. And there’s no perfect way to make them, but to be so sacredly in the process we are all in individually and collectively. Love is guiding the way through the tensions, heartbreaks, and openings too and it knows that we are all finding our way through the darkness of what has been as we stumble into our most natural and sincere Greatness as Sacred Humans remembering. ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

The Waves Of Awakening Into Love With Love

by Kalayna Solais

Love pops you open sometimes.
You cry tears you didn’t know were there.
You lose track of what your mind once thought was important.
You start feeling more than efforting anything.


The flow begins and the changes take hold.
The choices made bring you closer to what your soul has wanted all along,
Even in the karma trauma that comes up to be felt between yourself and others.

When love pops you open
You know it’s love because you feel held
You feel like shit but you feel like you’re finding your way
Even in some small way.

And then you feel,
Slowly but surely,
How much more you now have to offer yourself and the world
Because you weren’t afraid of love popping you open.

And so,
Love thanks you.
Love celebrates all of it with you.
And you bring in more conscious connections of real love,
Held and expressed with others
Who have experienced the same.

Together, then
You flow and feel
And heal
And offer healing
And in all of this
There is always more to experience of love’s expansive gifts
And the forever of being Divine without force, bypassing,
Or overly giving to others while forgetting
And even celebrating
your own deep desires
And love-supported needs.

Love,
Kalayna Solais

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

In The Darkness The Queen Is Born

By Deya Shekinah

It’s hard to share and write as much when I am in the depths of feeling darker emotions and shadow aspects of myself. It feels so vulnerable for my parts to show the depth of grief, unworthiness, self loathing and entitlement they are feeling. For younger parts it can feel dangerous to show these feelings, as they are so conditioned to be good, nice and keep quiet. Yet to show up as the woman I know I am, this process of welcoming, owning and revealing the darkness feels like a key part of maturation and embodiment.

As I danced this morning with the darkness, I could feel how alive and juicy it feels to dance, feel and express these darker emotions. There is a power within them, that feels so connected to embodying and stepping into my Queen. To push intensity and darkness away, to hide from it and make it ‘not ok’, I feel like I am pushing away essential parts of myself as a woman. My passion, my pleasure, my joy, my purpose are all being suppressed along with them. 

There have been times these past weeks where my parts feel like they are drowning in the darkness, like they will never find their way through. To be honest that can still feel like the only reality as I, Deya, am still growing my capacity as a space-holder for my parts, and am still becoming the container that they can rest into and feel held within, rather than becoming them.

I don’t think I have ever felt so shaky in my life. Even as I feel a strength in sharing these words in the moment, once they are out in the world, the unworthiness, fear and anxiety will surely arise as they keep doing. The more I am choosing to step up and shine, to be more authentic, to follow my desire to be in service to Love and to be in intimacy with others, the more these shadows are being revealed.

It feels like there are now no other options, no more hiding places; there is no way to go but IN. To be authentic, to serve and to live in joy includes all of the uncomfortable emotions, to Love and be in intimacy with myself, with life and with others includes them all too. To be a Queen means being willing and brave enough to face the shadows. To be a Queen means to lead by example with a loving, empathetic heart to the feelings of others, because she is in a deep, real and intimate relationship with her own and knows the challenges that will be faced on this journey through her own lived experience.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Humanity’s Return To Innocence

by Kalayna Solais

Believe it or not… and I’ll bet parts of you feel skeptical (and reasonably so) right now. Yet, I’ve been offered that a huge aspect of the process we’re in right now on Gaia is a great ‘Return to Innocence’. It’s not a simple process by any means. Yet laid out for us, it is. And invited into it deeper, we are.

This ‘innocence’ means seeing and feeling the world through the eyes of wonder and trust, even though there may be tears sometimes when you feel what is burning away in your own life and in the lives of others. Actually, this innocence means there is a renewed sense of your own heart’s purity, which despite the trauma you’ve experienced, remains deep within you. This is what you return to when you’ve healed through so many of the defences parts of you have needed throughout your life. This is the place you interact with others from more than ever before when the younger parts of you who are now much wiser because of life experience but not bitter (anymore) are able to feel this innocence within themselves.

Even all of the purging going on with Cabal, illuminating collective darkness and shadow so that we can dig deeper and move away from this timeline of suppression of love and truth (which can’t ultimately BE suppressed really), is leading us back to our innocence. These darker energies that have influenced and held the larger spaces of politics and fame and even spirituality, are loosening their grip and returning to their own reconciliation within. To meet and match these energies and defend against them as well, parts (especially your Inner Protector) and Metasoul aspects in other timelines have had to adapt and defend, become fiercer than they truly are or want to be, and forget about their realest vulnerabilities and the core of their heart’s desires. This is leading us through a BIG detox of what has NOT been us, individually and collectively, and is challenging us to feel our hearts again.

It may seem sometimes during this purging process that things are getting worse… but when it comes to toxicity, quite often things get worse before they get better. Storms happen before rainbows. And even rainbows happen sometimes while the sky is still clearing of rain and clouds. So it is that our innocence, our Divine Child light, can still find ways to shine through, even though there is still so much churning in the world.

It’s a deep, many-layered process. As I feel my own empowerment in my own process to feel all of this emerging in my own being, I feel how much work it’s taken to get to a space of feeling more of my innocence again. More of the desire to genuinely and heartfully connect, to bring vulnerability even when it feels iffy to do so, is able to emerge now. I can feel this as a new form of leadership that gets to arise now from within me and invite others to find the same within. It’s worth all of the shadow processing to get here and I trust too that this feeling of my own ‘Return To Innocence’ will help hold the space for any more shadow explorations that follow.

And so it can and will be for you… if you keep choosing the curiosity, the inner work, and the desire to hold space for yourself and others as we continue this transition to the most ALIVE-feeling life that we could ever have imagined.

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

SoulFullHeart Museletter: Metasoul/Karmic Healing Brings Clarity To Your NOW

Another ‘week’ has completed now, with so many more fluctuations and movements happening in the individual and collective emotional bodies and spirituality too. This week’s Museletter has a range of digestions in it, supporting all of our continued movements into the new NOW. Check out the latest Museletter here.

Featured this week is a piece by Facilitator, Gabriel Heartman. Gabriel highlights the importance of feeling the Metasoul/karmic timelines at play here and now for each individual soul, in order to keep healing in our current timelines and usher in the new:

“By feeling your personal soul relationship to any external circumstance whether it be global, social, or intimate, it can bring a whole new consciousness around the pain, fears, and reactions to so many things. It has been a huge gift to me on my journey and has really helped to get that Star Being’s-eye view as well as a grounded relationship (roots) to what my needs, desires, and clarities are.”

We have the fifth group call in the 6-week ‘Free To Be Two series’ happening this week.

This week’s theme is ‘Quantum Healing Of Karmic Patterns From Other Lifetimes w/ your Gatekeeper’. Jelelle & Raphael will share about the Metasoul, the veil of amnesia, Metasoul Aspect connections, and the opportunities for quantum healing of multiple lifetimes of soul pattern wounding at this time of Matrix collapse. The guided meditation will offer you connection with your Gatekeeper and whichever timeline they feel is most usual for you to feel and connect with at this time.

You do not need to have attended or listened to the six group calls from our first Free To Be Series that ran from April to May, 2020 before coming to this second one. Although, we do highly recommend listening to the recordings from the first Free To Be series, which you can purchase at our shop or via paypal by offering a donation: paypal.me/jelelleawen

Visit soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 for more info.

We have some new articles and audio blogs this week from Raphael Awen, Jelelle Awen, Kalayna Solais, Gabriel Heartman, and Deya Shekinah. These include digestions of the Star Seed theme that emerged this past week, transitioning to living on Prana, and offerings of more context for what’s been shaking up in the world, both inner and outer.

We have some quotes to share as well, which you can feel free to share or keep for yourself! Please do tag SoulFullHeart whenever/wherever you can, if you do share them.

If you are interested in a session, we begin with a free consultation for 30-45 minutes over Zoom with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for you to learn more about the SoulFullHeart Process, what happens in sessions, mutually determine if the process is a fit for you at this time, and if so, which Facilitator to work with in sessions. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information.

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheart.org

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Metasoul/Karmic Healing Brings Clarity To Your NOW

There are so many timelines that are in play right now. Taking a Star Being’s-eye view, it almost looks like the multitude of tree branches coming out from a central trunk.
That trunk feels like our essential unity. The core of who and what we are in our nature. Our Divine/Galactic connection. Yet there are multiple offshoots all leading to an eventual termination point.

These can be seen and felt as Metasoul timelines that have a varied impact on the Now. These timelines have an effect on what is happening both inside of you and outside. All these personal soul narratives coalescing and merging into one powerful human lower 4D soup.

To feel these timelines, or Metasoul aspects, it gives you a personalized relationship to what is happening on the world’s stage, and the turmoil that it may be causing within. When ‘this life’ trauma and reaction are coupled with ‘other life’ trauma and reaction, there is a large personal power suck that happens.

It is like the energy from the trunk gets moved to the branches rather than the supportive core itself. The trunk loses itself and its holding power, and then can collapse by the energetic weight of the branches.When your branches (parts and Metasoul aspects) are brought inward, toward your trunk (our higher heart and soul expression), the energy can then be transmuted and integrated into your core. This more solid You can then begin to see and feel what is authentically yours and how you want to authentically respond and act.

In our next Free To Be 2 group call, Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be talking about the Metasoul, Karmic healing, and the Gatekeeper. They will provide a guided meditation to help you meet your Gatekeeper, who is akin to your personal guardian and guide of your Metasoul. The Gatekeeper is an important aspect to become acquainted with when desiring to do a deep dive into soul karma, trauma, and pattering.

By feeling your personal soul relationship to any external circumstance whether it be global, social, or intimate, it can bring a whole new consciousness around the pain, fears, and reactions to so many things. It has been a huge gift to me on my journey and has really helped to get that Star Being’s-eye view as well as a grounded relationship (roots) to what my needs, desires, and clarities are.
For more information please visit: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

If you are interested in a free consult with myself, Raphael, or Kalayna you can go to soulfullheart.org/sessions for more info as well.

Much love to you during these trying times.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Sovereign Process Of Freeing Yourself From The Matrix

by Kalayna Solais

Our unplugging from the already collapsing 3D Matrix and even the 4D Matrix and all of its shadowy soul themes too, is always a sovereign choice. There are many different phases and stages and they come around when we’re ready, as we’re ready. We’ve spent more ‘time’, more lifetimes and timelines attached to it and its workings than parts of us often realize or appreciate, so there’s a lot to have patience around and a lot to process and feel through as well.

When I ‘look’ at the 3D Matrix, I see a gilded cage with an open door, showing me that we are all free to leave it but then again, some parts of us have been so used to the ‘cage’ that it’s hard to do so.

Behind that gilded cage is a giant, sticky spiderweb, which is what the 4D Matrix looks and feels like to me. It’s so challenging to free ourselves, our Metasoul aspects working/living out some very charged and painful soul themes, from its grip and the more they ‘fight’ to free themselves, the more ‘stuck’ to it they become.

What we’re moving through now has a lot to do with this stickiness and this open cage door. We are fumbling, as a collective, toward the light being cast through the openings. Individual souls are awakening to their deeper trust in the invitation and initiation being offered. It’s so easy to lose heart when things get hard and all we see on the news is more pain, as if the pain is all there is to validate. Of course this is, in a way, a game of mirrors from the Matrix itself and those who are invested in it staying intact somehow creating optical illusions meant to try and keep us in the ‘cage’. They also flex their influence by showing that the solution to the ‘problem’ at hand is one thing, usually whatever popular/mainstream opinion says it is, when it’s really another.

There are necessary phases of anger. But we aren’t truly evolving and ascending beyond the Matrix if we don’t also make our way to compassion. It’s this process though that is THE most humbling. Anger is not vulnerable or humble in its energy, but the hurt and the unexpressed soul and heart passion beneath the rage are. These are the energies that, when accessed by feeling and relating with parts of you like your Inner Teenager and Inner Punisher, for example, really DO create a deeper sense of emancipation from everything that isn’t you and never has been you and moving into the embracement of what IS.

There is also a lot to feel in the Metasoul, with all of these themes being activated because other timelines are bleeding through onto your current one. Everything you feel in reaction and response to any current event runs through you because of the experiences your parts have had in this life and the experiences your soul has had in other lifetimes.

The good news is, it’s all moveable. You’re feeling it because you have the growing capacity to BE with it, feel it deeply, make a home for these parts and Metasoul aspects inside of your heart, and move with genuine gusto into a NEW space within and in response to the world. Compassion for others, which is so needed right now and always, can only really be birthed from growing compassion within.

The Matrix, which is crumbling with even greater pacing now it seems, doesn’t stand a chance and never DID stand a chance against our awakening souls and healing, opening hearts. It was never meant to. Our approach to this healing is individually and sovereignly chosen, but it IS being chosen even when we don’t consciously realize it.

We are already free. Free to choose our path to even greater freedom from deep within ourselves. The layers to this are colourful, fascinating, and never-ending.

The cage door is open. The spiderweb is only there to hold you until you feel able to stop struggling and just keep feeling. The invitation is always there and the choice is always yours if you feel ready to see what’s possible and move consciously and curiously toward that, with even more embracement of each step, of each and every feeling there is to feel along the way.

Within this process lies the rebirth of your Divine trust, through which you can experience your deepest healing yet. And eventually… you find yourself flying. You find the ‘cage’ laying dismantled on the floor and the spiderweb swept away or at least much less intimidating as it can now become a curious place to visit as needed or desired.

This is what it means to become free of the Matrix in all its forms and energies. This is what it means to truly be free, to lean into love, to remember who you really ARE. ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Arising Anew From The Collapse Of The 3D Matrix

In the midst before me, I see a dying story. A matrix of beliefs and conditionings that we have all, to one degree or another, found ourselves playing a part of. We have written and acted in the play together, to sheer perfection.

But we have crossed certain markers in our path too many times now to begin to recognize that the house we contracted to build together is burning. It is running on the fumes of a fear of fusing to the building itself. We are not burning. The house is.

This can be a very existential experience to our 3D self as well as a very triggering remembrance to our Metasoul brothers and sisters that have experienced a collapse before. They have not been pretty, nor self-loving. But that doesn’t mean they can’t be.

Deaths are never easy and have their own energies to be with, yet if we can find that essence within us to hold the space of this transmutation then we may find ourselves like the rose among the ashes.

Connecting with your 3D & 4D selves with the aid of your 5D/Higher Self, a managed collapse is possible and also very self-loving. That is not the same as easy, just setting the suffering gauge to as minimal as possible. It is really up to you in the end.

How we leave is who we enter as.

Our fear can come with us as long as we are willing to go into it and feel it. This is the process that is supported in SoulFullHeart. It is holding the Light so that we can transform the Dark. We are both.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

New Moon In Gemini: Releasing The Trauma Bond

What a new moon portal today! The last few days have been intense to say the least. I have become aware, through my deep dive sessions with Raphael, of a particular trauma bond that has existed inside of me between me and my sister even as I have not been in contact with her for over seven years.

My sister and I were born very close apart. When many people met us they thought we were twins at first glance. What I am realizing is that this twin recognition came from an energetic bond between us that I am learning has visitation and abduction trauma built in, as well as many lifetimes in one form of relation or another.

I have come to the realization that this bonded trauma created a pairing between us. A contract that we would forever be in each other’s life so that we would not feel the depths of the trauma. Well, I broke the physical contract years ago, but the etheric contract remained.

I was offered to connect to my sister’s higher self and let her know that I was no longer going to hold my end of the bond anymore as it is time for me to go into the galactic and soul wounding that had kept us in a bind. I have recognized how much of this has effected my relationships with women, as it served as a protection and a projection of wound and care-taking.

I have been so focused on healing the Mom wound that I finally found the more subtle sister layer that was out of my awareness due to the depth of the trauma that it was founded on. I am reaching the edges of my galactic wounding that has alluded me for most of this life until this came into view.

What came to me is that this may be true for many of us at this time. Not so specifically from brother to sister, but any bond between two people that has deep roots in trauma. This can be especially true for twin flames. The New Moon energies in Gemini feel to be highlighting this twin dynamic for those that are meant to see it right now.

The trauma bond is something that is hard to let go of as it has such a long history. I had deep tears that I couldn’t place many times today but I could get a sense that this trauma bond was leaving my field and it is almost like losing an essential part of your being that you didn’t really know was there!

The release and detox of this bond feels like a shedding of a skin. It can be a hard process, but when held in sacred space it feels like the most important part of our ascension. I can feel during this time how there is a collective trauma bond exhibited by the fear of this virus. As we clear our own inner trauma bonds, the less energy is added to the collective and thus helps to move the needle one more step toward Love.

I also feel how this will help me to let in sacred romance on a much deeper level that I have not previously been able to transact due to this energy in my being. Quite a remarkable ride the last couple of days. I hope that this provides some insight into your own relationships to see where there may be these contracts that may need a deeper release in order to bring in the Love that we ALL are here to experience.

Much love on this New Moon evening.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Deeper Intimacy With Self Through The Explorations With Money

By Deya Shekinah

Wow, what a topic money is. I feel so many layers and parts wrapped into the explorations with money. One of the things that Jelelle Awen offered in the SoulFullHeart Free To Be Two group call about money this week, was how some can relate to money as a false god. This landed straight away as what I experienced within my family, how earning money gave meaning to life and felt like the only meaning to life as there was no spirituality or religion in my upbringing. I feel how my Inner Masculine, David, took this on and how my Inner Child, Yazzy, was stifled by this. Since she was always so multi dimensional, she didn’t believe this to be true, but as there was no one bringing any other meaning, she became capped by that.

I remembered a time when a male family member said to me that ‘money is the only thing that matters in the world’. At the time, I was blown away that anyone could believe that. As I feel it now, I feel so much density in that picture of our world, the lack of joy or spaciousness in it. As I feel David, I sense this energy within him as the conditioning he received from birth family members. 

Right now I am in a transition into a new way of being and earning money, that is bringing light to David’s relationship to money.  I hold and feel a lot of trust around money after years of transitioning and exploring money. This transition has grown into a deeper awareness and understanding of a greater meaning of life, as well as what abundance looks and feels like to me. 

I have learnt that abundance is many things. Not only money, but time, connection, vulnerability with others, space to BE. These all feel like abundance to me. I am coming to know and feel that my inner feeling of abundance is what draws abundance on the outside including financial abundance, even as that is still growing. For David, I feel him seeing this abundance coming in and seeing money coming in for offering my Soul Gifts, but he still does not FEEL abundant.

The group call has helped me feel this with him, his reality more of distrust and lack that he has been in and learnt throughout this 3D experience, sure that has been the 3D experience. One of the core beliefs I feel held in David is, ‘there is never enough money’., I see how much this creates that reality for us because he is so focused on ‘there is never enough’. He cannot appreciate or acknowledge it as it is coming in. I feel how it is the ability to be grateful for what IS, in the moment, that draws more of that thing to you, which of course is a journey, not something you can create through bypassing feeling the lack of gratitude. 

I feel how this lack of money belief is actually a cover up for lack of love, connection, communication and boundaries, it feels like. Money becomes this huge focal point when there is no other meaning to life. Money has become this huge elephant in the room, where we think about it, worry about it, are anxious about it, but we do not really honestly talk about it, at least in my experience and in this culture of my current geography. The shame, the guilt, the resentment around money is of course going to make it heavy and joyless. This feels like it creates blocks to, and a push/pull within us and our relationship to money, as well as abundance in general. 

I feel the lack of joy the Inner Masculine can hold around life in general, which then seeps into his relationship with/to everything else in life. I feel David feeling joyless, I feel him longing to experience joy as my other parts do, his sadness that he cannot seem to meet them there. Yet I feel how no one has ever asked him what he likes, what the meaning of his life is, and how he has been disempowered throughout this 3D experience too.

So now there is this new ground to walk out with him, where he is included and wanted, where he gets to feel and heal too because he is valued by me through this process. So this is where talking about money leads us, perhaps not straight away to more money, although I feel that coming in but to deeper connection, understanding and intimacy with our parts, and with each other eventually too.

You can purchase the recording of this Free To Be Two group call about money and attendance at/recordings of future group calls in this series by offering a donation of any amount. More information at soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

Love,

Deya & David

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc