New Earth Needs Us To Choose It

I drew a boundary with my birth family and past friends about 9 years ago. I had chosen to ‘cross over’ in 2012 when that bridge opened up. There was nothing as divisive as Covid back then other than the politics of the day, which was still fairly polarizing.

Yet, I needed to fully step into this dimension I currently find myself with those that were doing, or had done, the same. My soul needed me to let go of the matrix I was born into and be reborn into something new. I couldn’t take the old with me unless they felt to ascend as well.

It was an expedited process, but one that needed to happen in order to fully be the Being, leader, and man I was called to be. No more smallness. No more suffering. No more lack of real Love. Sometimes growth and ascension come at a cost to parts of us so embedded in a deep-seeded need for what was thought of as ‘caring’.

The thing is is that I DID care. I cared about those that were closest to me at the time. I wanted something MORE for them. But I quickly realized that it was not their soul calling. It was not their path. I couldn’t make them come with me. I couldn’t ‘convince’ them or tug on them. This kind of journey can only be made by a soul choice.

Fast forward 9 years and we find ourselves in much more polarized and fearful times. Families and friends are at a crossroads together. Many are set in stone, many are arguing and battling, others are deeply confused and uncertain. This global situation is offering each of us a portal into our souls. Our deepest need and highest vision.

This may mean parting ways with those that you were once close to. Ones you feel you shouldn’t leave behind. There is a lot of Metasoul timeline bleed-through that is happening now and that has a big influence on our going-on places. There is also our unplugging from a matrix that we have become so intimately bought into that it is hard to unplug from. It is pervasive and intoxicating in its fear and its ability to seduce, distract, and numb.

These are not easy times for many. There are those of us that are being called to unplug, replug, and envision something new from the inside out. We are being called to join together in this vision, this healing, and this parting of the old. We are the seeds of New Earth, not the reformers of the past.

Difficult choices will be asked of us. We are being initiated each day into the New. Into our New Earth emissary and ambassador of Love to the matrix that we all co-created. What we choose today has an impact on tomorrow. The question is what does that ‘tomorrow’ look and feel like to you?

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Surrendering To Our Sovereign Relationship To Love

The words ‘sovereignty‘ and ‘surrender‘ can be quite the portals for the masculine in us all. They are especially highlighted in relationships of all kinds. In the ongoing journey of healing my intimacy wounds, I have come to these gateways many times. Who is this ‘me’ in the we of intimate relationship? How do I maintain my own truth, needs, and desires without feeling like I am acquiescing or submitting to someone else’s truth, needs, and desires?

Before I left California 8 years ago, I lived a life that would be defined as ‘sovereign’. I was not in many relationships after my divorce, and when I was, sovereignty was a big trigger as well as commitment. Inside there was a part of me that wanted his cake and eat it too. That old wounded masculine conditioned standard. Intimacy was more about sex and having a good time rather than getting to the bare bones of my heart-truth and my deeper needs as human man.

Then I found myself in a sacred, conscious romance as well as sacred, conscious community. Those flared up that ‘sovereignty gene’ I want to call it. That switch that says, “Oh, woah! Wait! Time-out. What is going on here? I am I giving away something that I cherish for the sake of something that I am not familiar with?”. The question was, what was it that a part of me cherished and what was it not familiar with?

At the core, I found that a part of me cherished non-vulnerability and wasn’t familiar with vulnerability. Even deeper, I realized it was an existential fear of Love that was at the root of it all. When I felt the ‘me’ that was independent, sovereign, and non-vulnerable, I found a man that was lost, unhappy, and alone. Only he wasn’t able to admit that at the time. With anyone.

As men (or the masculine in women), we can so very much defend our sovereignty at the cost of real Love. That somehow Love and Sovereignty are separate and adversarial. I feel our relationship to our mothers as a pivotal piece to this equation. They represent that from which we were born from. We received love in one form or another and then we needed to break away from that to find our individuation. Our authentic manhood that needed to push away, but more healthfully could have been initiated into it by a more conscious mother and father energy.

If we did not have that, and I would say most if not all of us did, then we are continually in this push-pull relationship to Other. To Love. To Intimacy. Surrender becomes more ‘submission’ than an opening into vulnerability which is all done with our sovereignty intact. We actually can never lose our sovereignty. We are born free, yet have been convinced we are in chains. When you see those chains are really about our fear of Love and our deep separation wound, you start to unhook those chains one by one.

This is a deep soul choice to heal this wound. It is not an easy one. It brings up a lot to witness and feel. A lot to be sober about in our shadow. Yet, it also brings in a new sense of freedom. A freedom to Be. To express. To surrender into without losing ourselves, but rather re-membering ourselves. It offers Love beyond what we had been conditioned and wounded into believing is love. This is the sovereign journey back into true surrender and true power. The power of conscious Love.



Raphael Awen and I will be hosting a men’s group call this Saturday at 5pm BST via Zoom. We will be talking about these topics as well as offering a guided meditation and sharing space. You can go to soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls for more information.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

The Sacred Growth Of Letting In & Letting Go In All Relationships

by Kalayna Solais

All we can ever feel with another being in this world is possibility, potentiality… nothing is ever a given, no matter how strong the vision of what could be or the depth of soul/heart connection that seems to just BE.


We are always sorting out and sorting through. We are taking in who we are through the reflection of another, directly or indirectly. We are choosing in every moment what resonates most for us right now, which may not resonate any longer in the next now. We are also this reflection, this point of resonance or dissonance for others, in relationship to them.


None of us are exempt from this sacred sorting out process or the growth that comes of it.
Let go, let in, let go again… be surprised, be enlivened, by new beginnings and even necessary collapses. Though there is always more to feel and be with in all of this, and many reactions pinging for parts of you, it’s all part of the process of deepening your intimacy with yourself and with others as well, whether they can continue to connect with you on the next leg of your individual journeys, or not.


Each and every time I walk this out… I’m surprised by what it opens out within me. The clarity of what I want next, the boundaries I need to hold with an open heart, are priceless to feel and honour. It’s always challenging in new ways, but feeling the trust in my own growth that I know is always available and necessary, that helps me sink and surrender into each crucible… and feel the Divine with me at all times.


Much love from my ever-growing and opening heart to yours,
Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Remembering Our Starseed Essence

By Deya Shekinah

Every week the parts and themes we are feeling and connecting with through the ‘Free To Be Two’ group calls seem to be naturally interconnected, offering me a much bigger picture of myself, the world, and the Universe. 

My Inner Teenager, Yasmin, feels so connected to the collapse of the 3D Matrix. Feeling her is helping me collapse the matrices inside at the same time as I’m witnessing them collapse on the outside. Feeling where she was ‘plugged in’ through the school systems and birth family templating is helping me unravel all the beliefs and ideas she holds about who she is meant to be. 

Last week I could feel her in the school corridors, overwhelmed and unprepared for the huge transition that it was. I could feel her innocence, as she carried my Inner Child in her arms wearing PJ’s and holding a teddy bear. She quickly learnt to ‘grow up’ and hide her Inner Child and innocence so she could ‘fit in’ and ‘survive’. This created so much depression which I can still feel here now, as hidden with her childhood innocence was also her curiosity, her creativity, her sense of purpose, and her multi-dimensional connections.

Something that feels so rich within my Inner Child is this connection to the magic, to the mysterious, and to the stars. As life got denser through living in 3D, I forgot about the magical essence of my Inner Child as she seemed to get further and further away. I am now remembering her and feeling how she has been there all along as the one who was questioning everything and longing for Home. 

She feels like my Starseed, who is revealing herself organically as Yasmin is deeply digesting her experiences this life. She feels expansive, curious, and open to all the possibilities in this Universe. She restores the magic in this existence and reminds me of the bigger picture of all that is happening in our world right now. 

Connecting with my Starseed brings me into a deep peace within, as she helps me remember I have never been alone and that those who I have longed to go home to were always here with me, inside me, every step of the way.

You can join Raphael & Jelelle Awen today for the fourth call in our Free To Be 2 series, Navigating The Matrix Collapse to New Earth Transition, at 10:00am PDT with teachings and a guided meditation to connect to your Star Seed within, Star Family, and galactic consciousness. You can join live and/or receive the recordings for a donation at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. More info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2

Much Love, 

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

New Moon In Gemini: Releasing The Trauma Bond

What a new moon portal today! The last few days have been intense to say the least. I have become aware, through my deep dive sessions with Raphael, of a particular trauma bond that has existed inside of me between me and my sister even as I have not been in contact with her for over seven years.

My sister and I were born very close apart. When many people met us they thought we were twins at first glance. What I am realizing is that this twin recognition came from an energetic bond between us that I am learning has visitation and abduction trauma built in, as well as many lifetimes in one form of relation or another.

I have come to the realization that this bonded trauma created a pairing between us. A contract that we would forever be in each other’s life so that we would not feel the depths of the trauma. Well, I broke the physical contract years ago, but the etheric contract remained.

I was offered to connect to my sister’s higher self and let her know that I was no longer going to hold my end of the bond anymore as it is time for me to go into the galactic and soul wounding that had kept us in a bind. I have recognized how much of this has effected my relationships with women, as it served as a protection and a projection of wound and care-taking.

I have been so focused on healing the Mom wound that I finally found the more subtle sister layer that was out of my awareness due to the depth of the trauma that it was founded on. I am reaching the edges of my galactic wounding that has alluded me for most of this life until this came into view.

What came to me is that this may be true for many of us at this time. Not so specifically from brother to sister, but any bond between two people that has deep roots in trauma. This can be especially true for twin flames. The New Moon energies in Gemini feel to be highlighting this twin dynamic for those that are meant to see it right now.

The trauma bond is something that is hard to let go of as it has such a long history. I had deep tears that I couldn’t place many times today but I could get a sense that this trauma bond was leaving my field and it is almost like losing an essential part of your being that you didn’t really know was there!

The release and detox of this bond feels like a shedding of a skin. It can be a hard process, but when held in sacred space it feels like the most important part of our ascension. I can feel during this time how there is a collective trauma bond exhibited by the fear of this virus. As we clear our own inner trauma bonds, the less energy is added to the collective and thus helps to move the needle one more step toward Love.

I also feel how this will help me to let in sacred romance on a much deeper level that I have not previously been able to transact due to this energy in my being. Quite a remarkable ride the last couple of days. I hope that this provides some insight into your own relationships to see where there may be these contracts that may need a deeper release in order to bring in the Love that we ALL are here to experience.

Much love on this New Moon evening.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Deeper Intimacy With Self Through The Explorations With Money

By Deya Shekinah

Wow, what a topic money is. I feel so many layers and parts wrapped into the explorations with money. One of the things that Jelelle Awen offered in the SoulFullHeart Free To Be Two group call about money this week, was how some can relate to money as a false god. This landed straight away as what I experienced within my family, how earning money gave meaning to life and felt like the only meaning to life as there was no spirituality or religion in my upbringing. I feel how my Inner Masculine, David, took this on and how my Inner Child, Yazzy, was stifled by this. Since she was always so multi dimensional, she didn’t believe this to be true, but as there was no one bringing any other meaning, she became capped by that.

I remembered a time when a male family member said to me that ‘money is the only thing that matters in the world’. At the time, I was blown away that anyone could believe that. As I feel it now, I feel so much density in that picture of our world, the lack of joy or spaciousness in it. As I feel David, I sense this energy within him as the conditioning he received from birth family members. 

Right now I am in a transition into a new way of being and earning money, that is bringing light to David’s relationship to money.  I hold and feel a lot of trust around money after years of transitioning and exploring money. This transition has grown into a deeper awareness and understanding of a greater meaning of life, as well as what abundance looks and feels like to me. 

I have learnt that abundance is many things. Not only money, but time, connection, vulnerability with others, space to BE. These all feel like abundance to me. I am coming to know and feel that my inner feeling of abundance is what draws abundance on the outside including financial abundance, even as that is still growing. For David, I feel him seeing this abundance coming in and seeing money coming in for offering my Soul Gifts, but he still does not FEEL abundant.

The group call has helped me feel this with him, his reality more of distrust and lack that he has been in and learnt throughout this 3D experience, sure that has been the 3D experience. One of the core beliefs I feel held in David is, ‘there is never enough money’., I see how much this creates that reality for us because he is so focused on ‘there is never enough’. He cannot appreciate or acknowledge it as it is coming in. I feel how it is the ability to be grateful for what IS, in the moment, that draws more of that thing to you, which of course is a journey, not something you can create through bypassing feeling the lack of gratitude. 

I feel how this lack of money belief is actually a cover up for lack of love, connection, communication and boundaries, it feels like. Money becomes this huge focal point when there is no other meaning to life. Money has become this huge elephant in the room, where we think about it, worry about it, are anxious about it, but we do not really honestly talk about it, at least in my experience and in this culture of my current geography. The shame, the guilt, the resentment around money is of course going to make it heavy and joyless. This feels like it creates blocks to, and a push/pull within us and our relationship to money, as well as abundance in general. 

I feel the lack of joy the Inner Masculine can hold around life in general, which then seeps into his relationship with/to everything else in life. I feel David feeling joyless, I feel him longing to experience joy as my other parts do, his sadness that he cannot seem to meet them there. Yet I feel how no one has ever asked him what he likes, what the meaning of his life is, and how he has been disempowered throughout this 3D experience too.

So now there is this new ground to walk out with him, where he is included and wanted, where he gets to feel and heal too because he is valued by me through this process. So this is where talking about money leads us, perhaps not straight away to more money, although I feel that coming in but to deeper connection, understanding and intimacy with our parts, and with each other eventually too.

You can purchase the recording of this Free To Be Two group call about money and attendance at/recordings of future group calls in this series by offering a donation of any amount. More information at soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

Love,

Deya & David

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Welcoming Everything In Closer, Sacred Union Within

By Deya Shekinah

This past month has been a deep dive with my Inner Teenager, Yasmin. We have been digesting so much together and navigating many timelines collapsing and arising. 

It has been a very tender time of feeling the reality of her experiences in this life, especially how she has been in relationship with others. Yasmin has always been such an open book, I have felt in this time of less sharing how her openness hasn’t always come from a place of self love. I’ve been feeling how she has shared such deeply intimate details of her life with others, with anyone really, because she so deeply longed to be felt, seen and heard… something she didn’t receive much of.

As we digested together, I have been writing but when it has come to sharing publicly, I am becoming more sensitive to her vulnerability. I am learning that instead of sharing, I can let her land more inside of me, letting her feelings be felt and validated by me, by Jelelle Awen and by those closest to me, who I feel safe with. Rather than trying to understand, I am learning to listen. To listen to her stories, the ones she has buried deep down and disconnected from. Feeling all the things she could not feel in other times of her life because she wasn’t safe to.

I am realizing all she has ever truly wanted was to be welcomed in all that she is and all that she feels, rather than only being desired, wanted or welcomed in certain energies of who she is. Her tears were so close this morning. I feel how other parts of me have learnt to try to fix her or push aspects of her emotional reality away. I feel how she also experienced this in all of her relationships to varying degrees.

As I moved and danced, I welcomed all of her in closer than ever before, all her tears, all her longing. She felt unsure at first, as tears have always been hard for her to feel without someone else holding space. As her tears were always hidden and not welcomed, it has taken me a long time to realize that they can be. As I grow through this process as a space holder, I am able to offer her a new narrative around tears and sadness, as I see more and  more how her longings and tears are the doorway to our desires for life.

She cried. She let go into me, resting more into the pain in her heart. It felt beautiful. It feels like the beginning of a new relationship, except this one is just with me. I want all of her because I know how much she has held alone, how much wisdom she holds because of that. I feel how deeply she loves when she is welcomed in all of who she is, and how the pain of not being welcomed has broken her heart open to life.

I sense some deeper layers of heartbreak arising, feeling the pain of relationships that didn’t work out and the times it has felt to her that people wanted her but only certain parts of her. The feeling of not being wanted in her fullness touches these tender tears. There is a growing sense of gratitude to those people who weren’t ready for all of her. I am a stronger woman because of it, who feels love for and loved by every aspect that makes up this expression of me. I no longer have to be more than or less than. I can be me, this beautiful bliss mess embodied as a woman. Trusting that as I love myself and see myself more and more, I will attract others who can only show up for the same.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Leaving The Toxic Family Dinner Table To Experience The Nourishment Of Love

By Jelelle Awen

Better for you to be alone in your own goodness than with others called, ‘family’ who actually don’t see/get/resonate with your soul….

Sitting at your birth family dinner table during the holidays or any day, any time. You adjust to the awkwardness, the things left unsaid. You learn to hide the REAL feelings that come up as you pass the ‘this’ and the ‘that’. You ignore the tensions that ride and glide under every unspoken truth. You hope to remain unseen and safe in an effort to just ‘get through.’

So much you cannot share here…..as there is no room! You put it back in the closet then, far away, as it has no ‘place’. Your truth, your essence cannot be worn or shown. The food has more room than you do as it serves to distract from the disconnect that seems to season everything with flatness.

No wonder parts of you struggle to digest and to eat! No wonder you never really feel full! No wonder you are left wanting SO MUCH more than what you received! No wonder parts of doubt if you will EVER really get what you most want and really need!

So many meals left with rumbling heart still aching for the food of LOVE. So many meals sat with unexpressed fears and unshed tears. So many meals started with hopes and desires only to be left disappointed. So many meals with unacknowledged elephants sitting in the chairs.

Conforming and ‘fitting in’, putting on the mask and learn to wear it well…..avoiding anything ‘deep’ or ‘too heavy’, helping to steer the conversation away from the real or the true or the difficult to say out loud. Parts of you become experts at this dance and this ‘game’ because they HAVE HAD to be. This is survival of the ‘fittest’, those who can perform in this play acting out, those who can BE on this stage….. have the best chance of ‘making it’ and ‘succeeding.’

Yet, oh how WEARY of this are the parts of you that have shrunk to this place for so long! The masks are slipping off, half gone, one side unstrung and hanging loose. Your soul bright light is starting to SHINE through. Your truth is starting to BURST forward. You don’t want to be passed around so lightly any more You don’t want to be passed over. To be disregarded or seen without curiosity is becoming no longer interesting to you.

You are pushing away from this family dinner table. You are reaching your hand out to help parts of you leave it too that are ‘stuck’ there, even if it has been many years ago. You are opening your heart to hold the fears and tensions and anxieties that come up from leaving the ‘safety’ of this game. You are letting go of reacting to what other’s judge or think or feel about you.

You are open, now, to finding the table of your soul tribe. To taking in the meals of nourishing love in every bite, every exchange, every moment of BEing in the real. All is spoken out, revealed, and shared as THAT is what is most nourishing and, ultimately, most natural. Curiosity and reverence are passed around as the currency that spends between this family. All parts of you come forward to be seen, to be felt, and to be acknowledged.

THIS is the new earth experience of ‘family dinner’, of the gathering together where we offer new energy to a common ritual. THIS is the transition from the old and what so many of us have known and INTO the NEW, where realness is the spice and love flavors every bite.

Love,

Jelelle Awen

1:1 sessions available with me for women to bridge with MUCH love to the places/parts/energies inside that may still be at that family dinner table. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about  1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Moving From Care-taking to Care-giving

By Raphael Awen

After raising or changing your frequency, you find and feel old energies present in your relationships that reflect the old you; the old you that doesn’t exist anymore, at least not in the same way, or to the same degree.

A natural tendency is to caretake those friends or family members rather than honestly and integrously bringing your truth, seeing them as kind of ‘grandfathered in’ into your life. Trouble is, grandpa’s dying or maybe even long gone, but you’re stuck with all of his unsorted stuff.

I don’t know of a greater or more effective cap on our growth than this deep rooted conditioning of caretaking.

Seeing to the core of this tendency, we see that the withhold of our truth is actually a withhold of our love; albeit in the name of love. A part of us is defensively caretaking the friend or family member out of fear of loss, out of personal need, rather than heart overflow.

This is why it’s called caretaking – it’s very much ‘on the take’. It’s living out of the absence and lack of love. It’s begging and fighting over scraps and crumbs.

Integrity asks us to be integrated, as in coming from one place, not two. This means purity; of one substance. Here, and only here, as well as magically here, the love that we truly give our selves (parts of us) is the same love; the same in character and kind that we have to give others. Nothing needs to be hidden. Nothing needs to be worked on to preserve the relationship. Relating is real and only real. Real has an energy of its own where the tendency to caretake naturally falls away and diminishes more and more as we integrate.

What truth of yours is wanting to come out into your relationships? What truth have you been disintegrously withholding in the name (and name only) of love? What manifestations of growth is a part of you afraid of while holding onto this shrinking pattern? What stress that is sourced in this hiding have you normalized? What would it feel like to bring your truth?

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Healing The ‘Black Sheep’ Archetype

by Kalayna Solais

When you’re a child, you start to learn right away what is expected of you. You’re meeting expectations of when to start talking, walking, even behaving more maturely, whatever definition of ‘mature’ you’ve been taught. You learn, then, about what makes you feel like you’re on track with this and what doesn’t and you take in the impact of that.

As you get older and start to awaken more to your soul but also what your heart really feels and wants, the pain starts to set in… the pain of feeling like you don’t belong and maybe never have. A feeling like you simply cannot ‘win’ no matter what you do or don’t do. Parts of you form to deal with this and find a way to be in the world but you still can’t reconcile your differences; those aspects of who you are that seem to set you apart from everyone else.

In some cases, you may start becoming ‘therapized’ as the only way that your 3D-conditioned parents or authority figures feel they can ‘help’ you. You may be put on medication that numbs and dulls your natural ability to FEEL. Even the anxiety and depression you’ve experienced, which is held by parts of you that are hurting and also feeling on their radar a sense that they really aren’t safe in this conditioning and aren’t being loved the way they need and deserve to be.

You now see yourself as the ‘black sheep’ of the family but also of the culture you’ve been raised in. You may even feel this with your friends or co-workers. I know I have.

In my recent process, I was working with a part of me that always felt she was the ‘black sheep’. We had to go into a scene together where she could line-up her birth family members and feel the lingering judgements and criticisms, the messages of ‘you’ll never make it on your own’ which may not have been directly said but were energized.

Together, we could start to feel their Higher Selves in the room too, and their Higher Selves offered that this wasn’t actually about what it seemed to be about… it wasn’t about me or this part of me being a ‘failure’ (though in a 3D sense it’d be pretty easy to see it that way). It was actually about a wonder they have at the conditioning I’ve been able to say ‘no’ to, the risks I’ve said ‘yes’ to and the trust I now have more and more in my life, even the challenges that sometimes feel like mountains to climb.

In this, I found compassion for them even though I still hold a boundary.

In this, I found a way to truly see and honour myself and my own journey as well as seeing the sacredness of their own.

In this, I could feel how this theme of ‘not belonging’ and being looked down on somehow has played out in all of my relationships in one way or another, even with my soul family and my recent marriage too.

And, in this, I could feel how just about every single one of us who has been on an awakening and healing journey has felt like some form of the ‘black sheep’ and played out this theme countless times, often with angst and restlessness and even suicidal feelings.

On the other side of this process, I could bring this part of me into a new form other than the ‘black sheep’. She was able to shake off the black and the sheep suit came off too. She turned into a young lioness, full of power and presence, yet with heart and vulnerability. She is finding a new home inside of me where she can truly belong and be seen and loved for who she is, even in those times where she is being shown something not-so-easy to see or feel about herself.

You’ve been taught to look outside of you for validation and even for connection to Divine love.

You’ve been conditioned to believe that you’re always supposed to ‘achieve’ and ‘succeed’ even though the goalposts keep moving. This happens in 3D and also 4D in different spiritual groups too where your ‘black sheep’ feelings can become amplified instead of felt deeply, often in the form of ‘tough love’ which is really just outright abuse.

The feelings of not-belonging can be healed as the parts of you begin to unify, one by one, with each other and with you.

Love is the glue that brings your heart and soul back together again to wholeness within that can no longer be severed. Love is the juice that catalyzes the transformation from within. Yours is the love your lost and world-weary parts most need to feel, to remove their own sheep suits… for they were never meant to be ‘sheep’.

They were meant to be ‘lions’.

Much love! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.