Letting Go In Order To Have

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By Raphael Awen

Try as I would, quite a number of years ago now, I would often fall asleep watching movies with my ex-wife and 2 daughters. I wanted to be there for sure, but other parts of me were deep into other life content. ‘I’ had the cover of just being sleepy on a tummy full of pizza after a long day’s work, and would do the all too familiar drift off on the couch, until I heard the ‘Just go to bed, Dad’.

We are collectively at a similar place in the narrative right now, except the movie is being played out in real life, kinda like live streaming. Many are asleep and just can’t wake up, and I would say, that even though that is disappointing and even tragic to those of us who are awake, it feels like them remaining asleep is what is meant to be, by their higher selves.

Not all of consciousness needs to be awake at the same time for the awakening to occur. It feels more like some of us need to be asleep for the awakening to occur as those that are asleep anchor another polarity aspect of the collective movement. We are all in this together at a higher level achieving the same thing, for the one being that we are.

It’s distressing to us when we feel a distance creep in though between us and our loved ones when we can’t enjoy or be moved by the same movie, now finding ourselves even taking roles within a larger real life story that are ‘against’ one another.

In my awakening and the underlying anxiety of awakening first and losing connection with family and friends, I found myself trying to embody being the best example for them, which worked for a time, giving part of me a sense of mission and purpose playing the ‘being the largest soul in the room’ game. Eventually though, I reached the edges of the no-go boundaries as I pressed against the Christian fundamentals we were all apart of. Here, my friends and family were clearly faced with a loyalty to Jesus and God, vs a loyalty to me. It’s quite a pretzel for a family to go through and it was a slow moving unexpected cataclysm for all of us in many ways. They advocated for a ‘let’s just agree on what we do agree on’ kind of stance, while also being unwilling to talk openly about how they felt I was deceived. I eventually dropped my end of the rope though in this conflict realizing a couple things. One was that I could no longer be in relationships with people who held both love for me along with hidden disdain for me, as I was finding and feeling the parts of myself that had disdain for each other, and coming to deep personal self love reconciliation. The other realization was about how my tugging on friends and family when they were resistant to me was another unhealthy recapitulation of ‘making do with crumbs’ when life was offering me a full meal.

Choosing yourself at these junctures of life changes the timelines and trajectories of your life big time. It also undermines some of our deepest existential securities, or insecurities rather, about family ‘always being there for you’. I personally have sons in laws and grandchildren I haven’t met because of the playouts of these choices. The pain of that has been processed and felt at the time of the choice and it now actually lives in me as my highest love gift to myself, them and the universe to be living a separated timeline and having no contact while we are living planets apart in values and belief systems. To be shrinking in a patched together pretense of harmony, with underlying and unprocessed disdain would only be something that could work for me if it was an outer reflection of an inner reality. If you change the inside, you will naturally come to mirror that change outside in life as all of this has a one to one correlation, inviting you to choice points to be able to go on to your next growth points.

This is the real life movie, where the price of admission is your life as you currently know it, negotiated out one self loving step at a time, but costly nonetheless. It’s costly because you are, as Jesus spoke to in a parable, selling all that you have to purchase the pearl of great price, that you surprisingly stumbled upon. You are leaving one cult in favour of another. You’re switching theatres mid movie. You are choosing your higher timeline. The price of admission is now seen as small having seen what the new story is about that life and you are admitting yourself into.

If you can’t see it this way, it may well be that you aren’t meant to. None of us are until we are, and god forbid that we would arrive at any such choice point before being readied for it to ample degree to be able to walk it out. Togetherness or integrity requires for you to live in deepest conscious alignment with your deepest values and beliefs, and anyone trying to tug on you to see otherwise is either wasting their time or just being abusive from the ground of their own insecurities. ‘They’, the ones you are letting go, need this as much as you do. Peace comes when a self permission and respect extends from your own insides, the kind you have ‘you to you’ that then extends to others along with your boundary of what you cannot be a part of any longer. A new alignment of sovereignty occurs where family members go on accepting this as a co-created reality.

There isn’t any way you living into your bigness won’t present you with painful choice points, but my truth is opting for the new and larger pair of shoes, will alleviate a lot more pain in the end. Resisting your own growth is the deeper ‘suffering over suffering’. We all have unavoidable pain in growth, the key though is to find where we are in a stuck suffering loop. We are not meant to live in managed ongoing suffering. We are meant to go through a compressing birth canal into a brave new and exciting world.

I have found that alive new world socially and personally for myself, while also feeling an open heart towards those co-actors from the previous stages of my life, that we all wrote together. I can love the people in my present as gifts to my growth and learning with an open hand similarly, having found an ever deepening home in my own heart, that no loss can ever take from me.

Ultimately, we let go of every relationship we form, and every thing we obtain, except the one relationship we form with ourselves, which is a relationship with the all, wherein we are eventually remembered with all the parts of the whole.

Audio of this blog can be found here: https://youtu.be/O_yK5Plf518

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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The Inner Matriarch And Wounded Feminine Legacy

by Kalayna Colibri

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Messages of being a warrior, how to stand up to men… conditioning around fighting, especially for our equality, in a world that seems to want anything but. Over-expressing our sexuality in an unemotional or emotionally immature way, or choosing to deny its presence altogether… there is so much templating going on, so many living examples of how to become a matriarch – strong, unsentimental, yet very often unfeeling too. All of this is an expression of the pain and wounds inflicted by a patriarchal culture, yes, and it is all a reflection of how a part of each of us has chosen to be and act in reaction to it. As a collective, modern womanhood has successfully buried what it means to be soft and still, especially as the Inner Matriarch, who is often also the Inner Mother, typically has never been offered a sense of what healthy womanhood is or could be, and thus wants to believe that softness is weakness, the mind and body are ultimately what matter over the heart, and that femininity means building a self-image of femininity that is often depicted in ways that at the core, are actually another expression of the wounded masculine, but with a feminine face.

The Inner Matriarch forms inside of you, following your nearest feminine conditioning while growing up, passed down by your mother or another female caregiver. Even if the influence seems subtle, it is likely working inside of you in many ways, including how you express or choose not to express your sexuality, how you feel about your gender, how you feel about and relate to men and other women as well, and how you navigate many other aspects of your life too. The Inner Matriarch, in this way, is also the Inner Mother – a significant part of any woman, that carries within her the legacy of the matriarchal lineage in her birth family, often to a large degree.

It can be challenging when living out this conditioning, to even realize this is what’s happening. So many patterns are being relived by you that your mother and likely her mother before her also lived out… or, this part of you could be trying to deliberately choose to do the opposite, yet somehow, there is something still playing out that runs parallel to the matrilineal conditioning and grooming. It’s nearly impossible to feel what this legacy really has held for this part of you until you have taken the space necessary from your own birth mother in order to truly feel it. The Inner Matriarch that could be leading much of your decision-making and relating to self and others in your life as you have known it so far, will blend into the tapestry woven by the other women in influence in your birth family and sometimes also in your group of friends. This is why the advocacy for space and going inward is so invaluable.

The Inner Matriarch is often a way in which the pervasive patriarchal culture gets to live on… she has had to become the way she is in order to stand up to and survive in this environment, or so she has been so deeply conditioned to believe. It takes more than the  ‘inner strength’ of any female warrior archetype… it takes the strength of vulnerably feeling where the damage and hurt have been inflicted, bringing it back inward into your heart, and letting feeling waves in. It takes the courage to take the next step to even acknowledge this part of you, to feel and own the conditioning she has had and needed for so long, and to let in that something new could arise. The true feminine arising is a mystery wrapped in an enigma at times, with a soft touch that can also challenge and set boundaries as needed, without nastiness, pettiness or cruelty and without an all-out suppression of inner truth on the flipside of that.

There is a balance that can be lived into, where the rose of feminity can wrap around a healthy, vulnerable spine made of self-love and worth, coupled with a healing and humbled heart that now gets to lead the way… and this is what is offered as the Inner Mother and Matriarch gets felt and begins to heal from the long, long road she has been walking for so long, softening into the frequencies of a Sacred Queen. This is also what opens out the possibility of a nourishing Sacred Union romance with frequencies of heart, body and soul resonance that are nearly impossible to feel with the intensity of a wounded Inner Matriarch expressing predominantly in your life. There is much to go into and feel with her, yet it is all worth it as you begin to realize what your own version of the authentic and ever-arising feminine self is and could become as you move into more and more healing on all levels of your being. ❤

 


 

For more information about going into your own SoulFullHeart process and having space held for this part and other parts of you, please visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess. We would love to serve love with you on your own journey into your deepest healing possibilities and timelines…. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing The Patriarchy From Within

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Years ago, early in my healing process, I needed to take time away from family. I needed to feel myself outside the familial conditioning to really get a good feel for who I, Gabriel, really was. I needed to feel the ways in which I had been influenced to perceive myself and the world around me. This was especially true for my relationship to my father as he played a big part in my masculine conditioning and relationship to others, both male and female. He had many different effects on me that formed wounded aspects inside myself. I needed to hold and feel those parts of me as a new father template in order to relate differently to the world and others around me.

I remember as a boy my mother would tell me at times how much my father would remind her of his father, my grandfather. I remember feeling that in my own self as I became older, taking on so many physical and personal mannerisms. Taking on the family male legacy of anger and alcohol, the perception of women, and the internalizing of the patriarchal need for control and reason. As my parents divorced and my mother remarried, I took in another father figure that had just as much influence but in different ways. The Inner Father imprint was becoming embedded and it had its effect on my own sense of authenticity.  Who was I really when I was trying to listen to my own internalized father figure?

This part of us takes on a 3D patriarchal energy that comes from the more collective psychic wounding. It is one that has influenced my relationships with women and men. It has filtered my receptivity and openness to possibilities. My own inner feminine was a kept maiden, not feeling safe enough to express and emote. My inner child was suppressed to keep things in a serious and logical framework. Not much play in the world of the patriarch.

But in the unearthing and untangling of the inner father, you find the reasons for it all. There is no bad guy in the process of healing and integrating. Going into my own inner father wounds, I could feel the grander heart of the Masculine at large. The power of sovereignty and compassionate truth-telling. The desire to end the war within and be in collaborative balance with the feminine.  I could feel the the edges of my unworthiness and the real fear of surrendering to what needs to be reflected back at me as part of my growth and opening heart.

Through the process, my inner father takes a step to the side of me and becomes more of a brother, and then as the defenses soften, a younger, more boyish quality comes in and he begins to feel like a son.  I could feel my own biological father in more of his essence, encouraging me to continue on my healing journey and becoming like a guide to me along the way. It is a remaking of the past within the present moment where all things truly exist. A healing that has quantum effects between our hearts and souls and those of the collective father and son relationship.

The harder, less flexible side of me began to soften, be less defensive and more reflective. It has become less linear and more open to surrendering to the moment and letting the flow of life have its way while still holding personal will and desire in the mix.  When I do feel this energy arise I can feel what is underneath the frustration and need for control. Usually a deep wound of feeling powerless and overwhelmed in a world that feels like survival is the only reason to be alive. As I connect more with the Divine Father inside me. the more my own inner father can rest and let go of his Reign, which can feel very existential to them as the control is all they have ever known.

In the letting go, the suppressed feminine energies within can arise and begin to dance with the healing masculine and create a balanced energy that can penetrate while letting go of the outcome and the need for a particular result. It opens the heart to a more dynamic and authentic relationship with women in general and more specifically in a co-creative sacred union partnership. It shifts the collective patriarchal energetic structure and helps lead a new paradigm of leadership and stewardship of a New Earth and New Sacred Humanity.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

When A Mother Becomes A Woman

Me and Mama

I’m feeling so grateful in this moment for my mom, Jelelle Awen. I got a fever and a full body rash a couple of weeks ago and ended up bunking with her and Raphael until now. Last night was my last night before moving into my new place, (granted, it’s a floor below them…) but this period of time healed a lot for parts of me. I spent many years in Canada living with my mom and Raphael but of course, prior to beginning this healing process, I had a very different relationship with them.

I checked in with my 3D protector last night and felt an overwhelm of gratitude and appreciation for not only her mother frequencies when I need them, but also her as a woman. Parents sometimes become these vilified people in our lives, especially as teenagers. They boss you around and have so many expectations for you that may not even fit the picture you have for your life. It’s hard to remember that they have their own pain too, their own desires and wants and needs.

Parts of me tried so hard to push her away when I was younger, not being able to handle her desire for my own bigness. Recently I’ve been reading books that she’s written about certain stages in her life, first Under the Bloated Banyan and now Keep Waking Up. It left me in tears last night, feeling how genuine her pain was. How hard she worked to feel it and heal it all, down to its very core and up to its expansive reach. Then I started to see her as a woman, just like me, and a flood of admiration flowed through me.

She’s mentioned to me a couple of times that she doesn’t want me to go to my new place, despite its proximity. Every time it makes my heart swell because these last few weeks have meant so much to me and felt like they healed something in the way I used to relate to her. Instead of hiding away in my room, my door is wide open, hoping she’ll poke her head in to talk. Part of me feels guilty for the way I treated her then, but it was what I needed to do at the time.

It’s humbling to read these books and feel how much I can relate to some of the things she’s felt. Part of me put her on a pedestal for a long time, and usually not in a good way. It’s also heart opening to feel her pain of being so imaginative and heart open but expressing it in these multidimensional and life changing ways that made some people see her as “weird” or worse. It hurts me to think I, or anyone else, has ever felt her as anything less than she is, a gorgeous soul rooted in love.

One sweet message that came from connecting with my 3D protector is this: “She’s the closest thing to the divine that I’ve been able to let in.” I love you, Jelelle. Thank you for creating SoulFullHeart so I can feel you as a woman and a mother in a whole new light. I’m so glad my soul chose you.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, retreats, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

What Is Real Cannot Be Lost: Letting Go Of 3D Relationships During Awakening

By Jelelle Awen
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Loss is an aspect of awakening. It is a consequence of awakening, of bringing in soul frequencies into your consciousness…of waking UP in new ways. Then, you are looking around your life with new eyes….seeing what fits your soul’s landscapes and what does not. You are feeling with new heart too what hurts and what feels enlivening.
 
Your criteria for what you want in your life in terms of relationships especially with family, friends, mates…. is rising as your higher self/soul consciousness reminds you of what you have known of unity consciousness. Convenience in relationships (and in life) is no longer enough….you are starting to want RESONANCE. You want to feel drawn, passionate, able to understand without words….just ‘get’ someone and them ‘get’ you. Convenience and safety is replaced by curiosity and desire for growth.
 
Without that soul values resonance, you feel the emptiness of what had replaced it in your relationships….often routine, ‘past’ connections and memories. These frequencies begin to feel like echoes of nourishment, of what could ONCE fill you up, and now feel too superficial or shallow to your awakening self. Your 3D self learns how to survive and even thrive on fumes of nourishment within relationships. You learn how to pretend crumbs are a full meal. Your Inner Protector forms protections, shield, defenses, and filters…all the armored gear that makes it possible to BE in 3D life.
 
As your 3D self opens up and enlightens UP and allows more actual feeling tones to be pushed up from your emotional body, the defenses lighten, the shields drop, and the armor melts away. Love creates a NEW criteria of wanting to be in relationships where less and less of this defense is even necessary and where you can be vulnerable, REAL, and transparent. Somehow, your soul kNOWS how to be this way even as your 3D self wasn’t trained or taught how to be. Your soul can help to hold the space for your 3D self to grow and change, to become emotionally mature, to eventually integrate into your higher self coming into your body.
 
Yet, as an important aspect of this new training, is the letting go by your 3D self of relationships that are based in the old frequencies of settling, shrinking, or conforming. Those that are about fitting into another else’s boxes or comfort zones in order for their 3D self to feel better. This means LOSS. This means upheaval. This means sometimes a terribly painful crucible of setting boundaries, advocating, and letting go if a resonant ground can’t be found. THIS aspect of spiritual awakening can bring such growth, especially for your 3D self, yet also it can be resisted hugely by it too.
 
What is REAL cannot really be lost. Those relationships that may wear the setting, stage, and place of 3D yet are actually based in soul frequencies will reveal themselves as such. They will ‘come along’ with you on your journey in beautifully surprising ways. I have experienced that myself with my daughter Raianna and my ex-husband Gabriel. We began in 3D relating and spent many years there, yet…in the now and for years, we have been on the awakening path together, sharing the SoulFullHeart process way of navigating it specifically, and finding ever arising new grounds of connection through this journey. I had to ‘let go’ of both of them for phases of time as they chose to be in 3D life and I was awakening into my soul purpose, gifts, and consciousness. I let go of relating with them, even as I felt great love for them. I waited with open heart and, eventually, they ‘came back’ with none of us feeling like we are compromising anything or shrinking or not being ourselves.
 
Trusting that what is real cannot be lost, even if it is gone from your life temporarily, allows for love to arise anew. Love for YOU becomes your primary focus. And those souls that join you in this focus form the new, nourishing relationships that may wear the same ‘skins’ yet energetically are very different….now in a place where love can flow between you with much less barrier, resistance, and blocks. Now in a place where love can BE the common ground between you and not anything less than that.
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Jelelle Awen
We offer a free intro session to our SoulFullHeart process (offered through affordable weekly sessions with a facilitator) that supports you in navigating these very challenging grounds of relationship during awakening/ascension: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Healing The Family Legacy That Lives Within

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Within most (if not each) of us, lies an heirloom that has been handed down over the generations. In a non-linear way of feeling it, this heirloom is a legacy, or a theme, that each soul of a blood family has chosen to work. This legacy is what keeps them bound, until at such point, one or more of the souls chooses to heal beyond it, and into a new legacy that is founded on growth and a deep transformative union with Love.

This legacy is a way most members of a family, through the generations, have chosen to view and relate to the world. It may all come out in different forms and functions, but there is a connector that seems to run underground, or in computer speak, run in the background. It can range from depression, to rage, to anxiety, to control. It can be subtle, or obvious. It can live in us and be expressed in different ways. Some may cover it over with busyness (business), religion, sex, and other pursuits of “happiness”, or others may be deeply steeped in the legacy trying to find answers, or a way “out”.

For either one, it is part of the way back to Self and Love. To Self-Love. It is a very core wound that is almost a secret in a way. The elephant in the family room, so to speak.  When you get down deep enough it eventually leads to Fear and our separation from Source, but it has its own flavor and frequency.  One that acts an anchor to 3D and keeps us coming back to heal what we came here to heal; that which we were born to love and let go of.

For me, I am unearthing a deep family wound that is rooted in self-punishment and a deep distrust in life itself.  I can see and feel the family tree of this theme and it lies at its roots. Watered by the choices I made to keep the tree growing until it was time to leave the tree and be planted in different soil.  Soil that is nourished with Love and not Fear. I have begun connecting with a part of me that is named after my grandfather.  His name holds the legacy, so it is more than just him I am connecting with, but his spirit is also a part of it. You could also connect with a last name that anchors that frequency. It is a very powerful relationship to a very powerful conditioning.

This energy holds a key to our movement from 3D into 4D and beyond. It is a root anchor that can serve as a launching pad as we begin the inner work of connecting, caring, loving, and collaborating with it. At first it is a very intense frequency due to the amount of energy the collective family has put into it. But you wouldn’t have chosen to heal it if you weren’t big enough to handle it. For our 3D self, this is the biggest purpose it has in our ascension process.

Even though I chose to draw a boundary with my family years ago, this legacy continued to inform the way I related to my healing and relationships to others within community.  It is a set of heart glasses that are almost permanently affixed until such time they are ready to be noticed and taken off to see and feel the world in a more truer way. It is a doorway into a whole new way of BEing and feeling myself that has many gifts in its wake. And for that I am feeling compassion and gratitude for what this heirloom has offered me.  May it also serve to heal those that I grew up so intimately with in their pursuit of Real Love.

If you feel resonance with this family legacy and have the desire to go IN and heal it, SoulFullHeart offers a path and process to take you from where you are and guide you through the different aspects and parts of yourself to unearth and heal all the remaining anchors to 3D life that are bringing you pain and a capped relationship to Love.  Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/services for more information.  We offer a free 30-minute intro session to how SoulFullHeart could serve you in your healing journey.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Narrowing Energetic Corridor Offers Movement Into The New

By Jelelle Awen
passage

All night long during my brief conscious moments and during sleep too, I was walking down this corridor….a long hallway. The ceiling was getting tighter and the floor rising up to meet it. Not a pleasant feeling…this ‘narrowing’ passageway feeling. Yet, also, I could feel there was LOVE in this movement somehow and that at the ‘end’ of the hallway were wide, OPEN spaces filled with Infinite Possibilities.

As I digest this in the now moment, it feels like a pretty good metaphor for what is happening energetically on the inner and outer cosmic levels. In this now called “August 2017” is a ‘mega month’ of energy activities…eclipses and the lion’s gate opening that peaks in a week on August 8th. There are many writings about this cosmic activity and its impact, messages, and what it is offering us during the ascension process on sites such as Lovehaswon.org. My focus and soul purpose service of love is about bridging the emotional body with the spiritual and soul awakening process while being aware of how what is happening in the cosmos may be impacting this ongoing process, specifically from a parts work and Metasoul aspect perspective. I am actually surprised that so many souls seem to resonate with this perspective as it is certainly different, yet perhaps also deeply needed and been a ‘missing’ piece in the ascension picture.

The narrowing corridor I was shown feels like the old life and the previous versions, the 3D self versions and masks and personas, are being ‘pressed down’ in order to move them along. It is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and cramped to be less than who you are and you are feeling it more acutely now on all levels. The physical body is releasing pain and resistance in the form of ascension body symptoms such as ringing in the ears, changing sleeping patterns, dizzyness, nausea, appetite changes, body aches, hot flashes, etc. Some of this is resistance and some of this is just transition and adjustment to so much more light coming into every cell and igniting previously sleepy DNA.

It is becoming increasingly uncomfortable too within relationships where previously you were the ‘big fish in the little pond’ or the ‘tall one in the rooms with shorter ceilings.’ What this means is that the settings, relationships, and careers where parts of you feel VERY comfortable within your comfort zone are now feeling cramped and confining. Your soul self (higher self coming into the body and healthy emotional body) wants to fly, wants growth, wants to be challenged, wants mirrors to see yourself, wants to stand tall, and is ok to be the big fish in the big pond with other big fish.

There could be a feeling of crawling right now as you travel down the corridor of this old, feeling your way through as previously suppressed pains and wounds from your emotional body and Metasoul greet you and come up. Crawling is ok though, as is pausing and just sitting still and BEing with the discomfort. Crying the tears that need to come up. BEing with the fears too. All this is temporary….a pressure cooker, compression point, narrowing corridor reality that invites you to keep choosing love in every moment in order to keep moving through it.

Some souls will become immobilized, stuck, or choose to leave their bodies. Even those who are more awakened or newly awakened may lash out with fear and retreat….going back down their hallway and into their comfort zone and safety again. In this case, all you can really do and BE is compassionate love for them, invite them to come with you and keep going forward yourself. If you try to ‘go back’ for them or stay with them, you will lower your vibrational frequency to fear and potentially ‘fuse’ to parts of you that will put you back to sleep again. There is heightened temptation to do this as the fear-based energies reach out in a ‘last grasp attempt’ at our trailing edges of BEing.

There is actually something at stake and at risk in relationships right now. It is probably the stickiest ground when it comes to the ascension process. ‘Going down’ with someone in order to ‘save them’ is a trap that could keep you looping in suffering and co-dependent patterns. Clinging on to ‘capacity’ rather than being real about transactability can keep you hanging on to others, staying stuck, and even parts of you in delusion, such as what happens often in the Twin Flame paradigm. Really asking yourself what you want in relationships of all kinds, what is healthy and nourishing for you, who is a healthy mirror of you and being open to feel all that comes up in parts of you that cling and why can help you navigate this sticky ground.

Better to mourn the completion of these lower frequency relationships, let go, and keep BEing the light that you are, feeling yourself and your own healing as your first priority. This choosing of yourself and your own heart creates a beacon that draws the souls that are in your soul family tribe to join you and your TRUE sacred union mate as well. You may be walking, crawling, and BEing alone for a phase though as you truly leave behind your previous life to enter your new one.

It is a time of choosing love over fear in every moment in ways both subtle and perhaps very dramatic and profound. It is a time of change…both on a very personal level and as a collective. It is a time of a waking up on a grander scale then we have seen before since choosing our collective slumber and amnesia. At the end of each of our hallways is VAST, open space filled with Infinite Love and Infinite Possibilities. The Divine waits there to embrace us in Love again even as It is with us always in every moment as we crawl and find and arise into the love that we ARE.

 

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 Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Redefining Family From The Heart Up

me and Shai

Today is the day that my daughter, Shai, comes to join us in SoulFullHeart community.  It is almost surreal, to be honest, even though she was here in February and we have been in contact quite a bit.  It is surreal because it will be her coming in her full authority and self-choice to be a part of this healing path and community.  Admittedly, she knows all of us and that makes it an easier choice but this was not always the case.

When we all decided to leave Canada nearly 3 years ago, Shai was firmly planted in her Vancouver world.  She had no desire to join us and go into the healing journey.  She was in a construction phase.  A time to individuate herself from us.  It is actually the way it really needs to be for someone in their late teens.  The difference is that we would not be in contact because the energy of our worlds would be so different and nearly impossible to relate to.  We both needed to go all into our worlds and lives and trust that if we were meant to be in healing and community together we would.  It was a very difficult process to be with as it is so not the norm in terms what is “normal” from our societal and familial conditioning.

My inner Dad had so many concerns and judgments about “leaving her behind”.  All the voices of my personal family and the collective family.  It was a codependency to self-image and also soul legacies of abandoning and being abandoned.  This provided a HUGE growth ground for both us.  She learned to navigate life on her own terms and being with her own challenges.  I got to feel very wounded aspects of myself that would be medicated with care-taking.  I got to feel myself as “not Dad”, but as a man on a journey to self-discovery.

Through our space apart we eventually got back in touch with each other sometime last year, but I couldn’t tell you how.  If we are all meant to be together in a soul family, the hows and whens just seem to arise.  We had touching and tear-laden conversations of reconnection and she began a process with Kalayna as she had been feeling a fairly empty emotional and spiritual life in Canada.  Being raised in SoulFullHeart like she was, makes it hard to really relate to a world that has a hard time feeling its own emotions, and she admitted it was hard for her to feel hers.

She eventually began to feel parts and was opening up a whole new world inside her that was not based on pleasing Mom or Dad, but about her own growth and bigness. Now, there are undoubtedly mom and dad pieces that we will be feeling together, but this is something she is taking on in  her own right.  It is a truly remarkable choice for someone at her age of 22.  She is a leader of a generation, along with Kalayna, and that is such a gift to us and the world.

Now we get to reinvent ourselves as father and adult daughter.  We get to heal the old dynamic to make way for a new more genuine one that is between two souls on a path together.  It is about teacher/student (of which she will be my teacher on many occasions), being mirrors to each other, and being in close intimacy as two human beings in reverence and soul bond.  We get to explore metasoul places together and I get to be a recipient of all her gifts, and she mine.  None of these were possible in the old ground as we were both capped in roles that we placed on each other.

This is a grand experiment as she will be reunited with her birth mother and father in a totally new dimension of experience.  Where does this happen on this planet?  It is so damn compelling and one that I am really excited to see where it leads.  There will be much to feel between us and that is what we are ready for.  Shai represents a new start for the SoulFullHeart community even as it too is all unknown how it will all develop. This is about redefining family from the heart up.   This a template for what could be for all birth families as each individual finds their own way and trusts the bond that exists to bring each back into more authentic heart and soul space if that is what is meant to be.

Much more to come in this new chapter of SoulFullHeart! Stay heart tuned.

If transformative healing and soul family resonates with you, I invite you to check out our website and sessions page to learn more.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

 

 

Leaving The Family Dinner Table To Experience The Nourishment Of Love

By Jelelle Awen

love_on_plate

The family dinner table….you adjust to the awkwardness, the things left unsaid. You learn to hide the REAL feelings that come up as you pass the ‘this’ and the ‘that’. You ignore the tensions that ride and glide under every unspoken truth. You hope to remain unseen and safe in an effort to just ‘get through.’

So much you cannot share here…..as there is no room! You put it back in the closet then, far away, as it has no ‘place’. Your truth, your essence cannot be worn or shown. The food has more room then you do as it serves to distract from the disconnect that seems to season everything with flatness.

No wonder parts of you struggle to digest and to eat! No wonder you never really feel full! No wonder you are left wanting SO MUCH more than what you received! No wonder parts of doubt if you will EVER really get what you most want and really need!

So many meals left with rumbling heart still aching for the food of LOVE. So many meals sat with unexpressed fears and unshed tears. So many meals started with hopes and desires only to be left disappointed. So many meals with unacknowledged elephants sitting in the chairs.

Conforming and ‘fitting in’, putting on the mask and learn to wear it well…..avoiding anything ‘deep’ or ‘too heavy’, helping to steer the conversation away from the real or the true or the difficult to say out loud. Parts of you become experts at this dance and this ‘game’ because they HAVE HAD to be. This is survival of the ‘fittest’, those who can perform in this play acting out, those who can BE on this stage….. have the best chance of ‘making it’ and ‘succeeding.’

Yet, oh how WEARY of this are the parts of you that have shrunk to this place for so long! The masks are slipping off, half gone, one side unstrung and hanging loose. Your soul bright light is starting to SHINE through. Your truth is starting to BURST forward. You don’t want to be passed around so lightly any more You don’t want to be passed over. To be disregarded or seen without curiousity is becoming no longer interesting to you.

You are pushing away from this family dinner table. You are reaching your hand out to help parts of you leave it too that are ‘stuck’ there, even if it has been many years ago. You are opening your heart to hold the fears and tensions and anxieties that come up from leaving the ‘safety’ of this game. You are letting go of reacting to what other’s judge or think or feel about you.

You are open, now, to finding the table of your soul tribe. To taking in the meals of nourishing love in every bite, every exchange, every moment of BEing in the real. All is spoken out, revealed, and shared as THAT is what is most nourishing and, ultimately, most natural. Curiosity and reverence are passed around as the currency that spends between this family. All parts of you come forward to be seen, to be felt, and to be acknowledged.

THIS is the new earth experience of ‘family dinner’, of the gathering together where we offer new energy to a common ritual. THIS is the transition from the old and what so many of us have known and INTO the NEW, where realness is the spice and love flavors every bite.

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

You Are Scattered, Yet You Are Coming Together: Message With Archangel Metatron

By Jelelle Awen with Archangel Metatron

comingtogether

You are scattered, yes. You’ve needed to be displaced and scattered. You’ve been like a spilled bag of marbles, rolling and spinning away from each other, going in all different directions. Colorful fragments split off from the One Source of All, fragmented yet still connected.

In every one of those marbles of individual soul consciousness is a magnet. This magnet is your heart. The magnetic magnificence of your hearts BRING you back together. It creates a tug and a pull that cannot be denied.

As you strengthen the vibration of your heart’s frequency, as you RISE it UP through letting in and serving love….your draw increases, your magnetic pull becomes stronger. Those hearts and souls that vibrate in the same frequencies as you FIND you and you FIND them.

Clink…you come together, you join together again. Clink……two halves finding a whole. Yes, in romance this happens. Yes, in sacred friendship this happens. In ‘from birth’ connections this can happen and in brand ‘new’ connections too. Two halves finding a wholeness, a completion in the other that wasn’t possible alone.

As more and more clinks and coming together magnetic draws happen between souls in the same group and in the same circles…..their draw expands, exponentially, going out quantum to the Web of Life and to the All That Is. The radius of their love signal widens, broader and broader, deeper and deeper, further and further. This happens with two; this happens with three; this happens with four; this happens with more.

The more resonance and connection, the more just ‘getting each other’ and ‘being on the same page’, the stronger the influence OUT to and on the collective. So, it is better to wait for the STRONG pull and the deep resonance rather than settle for the lesser and the connections that work ‘only sometimes’ or ‘used to work and don’t anymore.’

Continuing in a coming together relationship where the pull isn’t strong like this and you don’t feel that Clink just delays the process of completeness. You are occupied then and your space taken up by the lesser connections and the NEW can’t come in as strongly. Sometimes you need the NEW to be coming in so that you can let go of the old. This can happen in the same time space, layering on top of each other, confusing your mind in a good way, yet opening your heart and soul.

ALL this is sacred and supported and blessed. The clinking and the pinging of two halves discovering the Universal HUM together. The clashing and the crashing too of falling away.

You have been scattered, yes, yet more of you are aching for unity again and to integrate the frequencies of your individuality with the collective. To find and discover your ‘me’ in the ‘we’.

BEing in the unknown of the process, trusting and surrendering to it AS a process is the support we offer you now. Feel how you are BEing loved in both the scattering and the returning. Feel how there are gifts, blessings, joys, miracles in this process…..even as they are difficulties, pains, lessons, and much learning.

You will all return eventually back to each other, back to the ultimate source of Divine love, be folded back into the love that you ARE again and BEcome ONE again. It is the natural cycle.

The how’s, where’s, and what’s are the mystery that unfolds. Even the Divine is a curious witness. THIS mystery is what makes life interesting and the reason for the split off from Divine Source in the ‘beginning,’ so to become this experiment in NEW experience of separation and returning back together again.~

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.