The Sacred Growth Of Letting In & Letting Go In All Relationships

by Kalayna Solais

All we can ever feel with another being in this world is possibility, potentiality… nothing is ever a given, no matter how strong the vision of what could be or the depth of soul/heart connection that seems to just BE.


We are always sorting out and sorting through. We are taking in who we are through the reflection of another, directly or indirectly. We are choosing in every moment what resonates most for us right now, which may not resonate any longer in the next now. We are also this reflection, this point of resonance or dissonance for others, in relationship to them.


None of us are exempt from this sacred sorting out process or the growth that comes of it.
Let go, let in, let go again… be surprised, be enlivened, by new beginnings and even necessary collapses. Though there is always more to feel and be with in all of this, and many reactions pinging for parts of you, it’s all part of the process of deepening your intimacy with yourself and with others as well, whether they can continue to connect with you on the next leg of your individual journeys, or not.


Each and every time I walk this out… I’m surprised by what it opens out within me. The clarity of what I want next, the boundaries I need to hold with an open heart, are priceless to feel and honour. It’s always challenging in new ways, but feeling the trust in my own growth that I know is always available and necessary, that helps me sink and surrender into each crucible… and feel the Divine with me at all times.


Much love from my ever-growing and opening heart to yours,
Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Remembering Our Starseed Essence

By Deya Shekinah

Every week the parts and themes we are feeling and connecting with through the ‘Free To Be Two’ group calls seem to be naturally interconnected, offering me a much bigger picture of myself, the world, and the Universe. 

My Inner Teenager, Yasmin, feels so connected to the collapse of the 3D Matrix. Feeling her is helping me collapse the matrices inside at the same time as I’m witnessing them collapse on the outside. Feeling where she was ‘plugged in’ through the school systems and birth family templating is helping me unravel all the beliefs and ideas she holds about who she is meant to be. 

Last week I could feel her in the school corridors, overwhelmed and unprepared for the huge transition that it was. I could feel her innocence, as she carried my Inner Child in her arms wearing PJ’s and holding a teddy bear. She quickly learnt to ‘grow up’ and hide her Inner Child and innocence so she could ‘fit in’ and ‘survive’. This created so much depression which I can still feel here now, as hidden with her childhood innocence was also her curiosity, her creativity, her sense of purpose, and her multi-dimensional connections.

Something that feels so rich within my Inner Child is this connection to the magic, to the mysterious, and to the stars. As life got denser through living in 3D, I forgot about the magical essence of my Inner Child as she seemed to get further and further away. I am now remembering her and feeling how she has been there all along as the one who was questioning everything and longing for Home. 

She feels like my Starseed, who is revealing herself organically as Yasmin is deeply digesting her experiences this life. She feels expansive, curious, and open to all the possibilities in this Universe. She restores the magic in this existence and reminds me of the bigger picture of all that is happening in our world right now. 

Connecting with my Starseed brings me into a deep peace within, as she helps me remember I have never been alone and that those who I have longed to go home to were always here with me, inside me, every step of the way.

You can join Raphael & Jelelle Awen today for the fourth call in our Free To Be 2 series, Navigating The Matrix Collapse to New Earth Transition, at 10:00am PDT with teachings and a guided meditation to connect to your Star Seed within, Star Family, and galactic consciousness. You can join live and/or receive the recordings for a donation at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. More info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2

Much Love, 

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

New Moon In Gemini: Releasing The Trauma Bond

What a new moon portal today! The last few days have been intense to say the least. I have become aware, through my deep dive sessions with Raphael, of a particular trauma bond that has existed inside of me between me and my sister even as I have not been in contact with her for over seven years.

My sister and I were born very close apart. When many people met us they thought we were twins at first glance. What I am realizing is that this twin recognition came from an energetic bond between us that I am learning has visitation and abduction trauma built in, as well as many lifetimes in one form of relation or another.

I have come to the realization that this bonded trauma created a pairing between us. A contract that we would forever be in each other’s life so that we would not feel the depths of the trauma. Well, I broke the physical contract years ago, but the etheric contract remained.

I was offered to connect to my sister’s higher self and let her know that I was no longer going to hold my end of the bond anymore as it is time for me to go into the galactic and soul wounding that had kept us in a bind. I have recognized how much of this has effected my relationships with women, as it served as a protection and a projection of wound and care-taking.

I have been so focused on healing the Mom wound that I finally found the more subtle sister layer that was out of my awareness due to the depth of the trauma that it was founded on. I am reaching the edges of my galactic wounding that has alluded me for most of this life until this came into view.

What came to me is that this may be true for many of us at this time. Not so specifically from brother to sister, but any bond between two people that has deep roots in trauma. This can be especially true for twin flames. The New Moon energies in Gemini feel to be highlighting this twin dynamic for those that are meant to see it right now.

The trauma bond is something that is hard to let go of as it has such a long history. I had deep tears that I couldn’t place many times today but I could get a sense that this trauma bond was leaving my field and it is almost like losing an essential part of your being that you didn’t really know was there!

The release and detox of this bond feels like a shedding of a skin. It can be a hard process, but when held in sacred space it feels like the most important part of our ascension. I can feel during this time how there is a collective trauma bond exhibited by the fear of this virus. As we clear our own inner trauma bonds, the less energy is added to the collective and thus helps to move the needle one more step toward Love.

I also feel how this will help me to let in sacred romance on a much deeper level that I have not previously been able to transact due to this energy in my being. Quite a remarkable ride the last couple of days. I hope that this provides some insight into your own relationships to see where there may be these contracts that may need a deeper release in order to bring in the Love that we ALL are here to experience.

Much love on this New Moon evening.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Deeper Intimacy With Self Through The Explorations With Money

By Deya Shekinah

Wow, what a topic money is. I feel so many layers and parts wrapped into the explorations with money. One of the things that Jelelle Awen offered in the SoulFullHeart Free To Be Two group call about money this week, was how some can relate to money as a false god. This landed straight away as what I experienced within my family, how earning money gave meaning to life and felt like the only meaning to life as there was no spirituality or religion in my upbringing. I feel how my Inner Masculine, David, took this on and how my Inner Child, Yazzy, was stifled by this. Since she was always so multi dimensional, she didn’t believe this to be true, but as there was no one bringing any other meaning, she became capped by that.

I remembered a time when a male family member said to me that ‘money is the only thing that matters in the world’. At the time, I was blown away that anyone could believe that. As I feel it now, I feel so much density in that picture of our world, the lack of joy or spaciousness in it. As I feel David, I sense this energy within him as the conditioning he received from birth family members. 

Right now I am in a transition into a new way of being and earning money, that is bringing light to David’s relationship to money.  I hold and feel a lot of trust around money after years of transitioning and exploring money. This transition has grown into a deeper awareness and understanding of a greater meaning of life, as well as what abundance looks and feels like to me. 

I have learnt that abundance is many things. Not only money, but time, connection, vulnerability with others, space to BE. These all feel like abundance to me. I am coming to know and feel that my inner feeling of abundance is what draws abundance on the outside including financial abundance, even as that is still growing. For David, I feel him seeing this abundance coming in and seeing money coming in for offering my Soul Gifts, but he still does not FEEL abundant.

The group call has helped me feel this with him, his reality more of distrust and lack that he has been in and learnt throughout this 3D experience, sure that has been the 3D experience. One of the core beliefs I feel held in David is, ‘there is never enough money’., I see how much this creates that reality for us because he is so focused on ‘there is never enough’. He cannot appreciate or acknowledge it as it is coming in. I feel how it is the ability to be grateful for what IS, in the moment, that draws more of that thing to you, which of course is a journey, not something you can create through bypassing feeling the lack of gratitude. 

I feel how this lack of money belief is actually a cover up for lack of love, connection, communication and boundaries, it feels like. Money becomes this huge focal point when there is no other meaning to life. Money has become this huge elephant in the room, where we think about it, worry about it, are anxious about it, but we do not really honestly talk about it, at least in my experience and in this culture of my current geography. The shame, the guilt, the resentment around money is of course going to make it heavy and joyless. This feels like it creates blocks to, and a push/pull within us and our relationship to money, as well as abundance in general. 

I feel the lack of joy the Inner Masculine can hold around life in general, which then seeps into his relationship with/to everything else in life. I feel David feeling joyless, I feel him longing to experience joy as my other parts do, his sadness that he cannot seem to meet them there. Yet I feel how no one has ever asked him what he likes, what the meaning of his life is, and how he has been disempowered throughout this 3D experience too.

So now there is this new ground to walk out with him, where he is included and wanted, where he gets to feel and heal too because he is valued by me through this process. So this is where talking about money leads us, perhaps not straight away to more money, although I feel that coming in but to deeper connection, understanding and intimacy with our parts, and with each other eventually too.

You can purchase the recording of this Free To Be Two group call about money and attendance at/recordings of future group calls in this series by offering a donation of any amount. More information at soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

Love,

Deya & David

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Welcoming Everything In Closer, Sacred Union Within

By Deya Shekinah

This past month has been a deep dive with my Inner Teenager, Yasmin. We have been digesting so much together and navigating many timelines collapsing and arising. 

It has been a very tender time of feeling the reality of her experiences in this life, especially how she has been in relationship with others. Yasmin has always been such an open book, I have felt in this time of less sharing how her openness hasn’t always come from a place of self love. I’ve been feeling how she has shared such deeply intimate details of her life with others, with anyone really, because she so deeply longed to be felt, seen and heard… something she didn’t receive much of.

As we digested together, I have been writing but when it has come to sharing publicly, I am becoming more sensitive to her vulnerability. I am learning that instead of sharing, I can let her land more inside of me, letting her feelings be felt and validated by me, by Jelelle Awen and by those closest to me, who I feel safe with. Rather than trying to understand, I am learning to listen. To listen to her stories, the ones she has buried deep down and disconnected from. Feeling all the things she could not feel in other times of her life because she wasn’t safe to.

I am realizing all she has ever truly wanted was to be welcomed in all that she is and all that she feels, rather than only being desired, wanted or welcomed in certain energies of who she is. Her tears were so close this morning. I feel how other parts of me have learnt to try to fix her or push aspects of her emotional reality away. I feel how she also experienced this in all of her relationships to varying degrees.

As I moved and danced, I welcomed all of her in closer than ever before, all her tears, all her longing. She felt unsure at first, as tears have always been hard for her to feel without someone else holding space. As her tears were always hidden and not welcomed, it has taken me a long time to realize that they can be. As I grow through this process as a space holder, I am able to offer her a new narrative around tears and sadness, as I see more and  more how her longings and tears are the doorway to our desires for life.

She cried. She let go into me, resting more into the pain in her heart. It felt beautiful. It feels like the beginning of a new relationship, except this one is just with me. I want all of her because I know how much she has held alone, how much wisdom she holds because of that. I feel how deeply she loves when she is welcomed in all of who she is, and how the pain of not being welcomed has broken her heart open to life.

I sense some deeper layers of heartbreak arising, feeling the pain of relationships that didn’t work out and the times it has felt to her that people wanted her but only certain parts of her. The feeling of not being wanted in her fullness touches these tender tears. There is a growing sense of gratitude to those people who weren’t ready for all of her. I am a stronger woman because of it, who feels love for and loved by every aspect that makes up this expression of me. I no longer have to be more than or less than. I can be me, this beautiful bliss mess embodied as a woman. Trusting that as I love myself and see myself more and more, I will attract others who can only show up for the same.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

The Gift Of Feeling Pain &Trauma

By Deva Yasmin

There are so many ways I can see, of how parts of me can push beyond feeling pain in order to attain or achieve certain experiences. The spiritual search for a long time was a search for a place free of pain for me, the attainment of bliss states and higher consciousness feeling so much more superior and desirable, than acknowledging the pain and suffering parts of me were experiencing. I still see it playing out for parts of me, especially as we taste more of the bliss, joy and contentment that is arising, they desire to stay there, but as Embodied Divine Humans, that is not our purpose to remain there it feels like.

The thing is these states are actually arising, from me being willing to acknowledge, feel and listen to the pain and trauma my parts have experienced, not from any pushing away of, or striving towards, a particular state, this actually blocks bliss. It feels like the reason I can experience these more joyful feelings is because, as I deeply know the experience of the opposite, I can appreciate the true simplicity of what joy truly is. This is a constant circling between the both for me and my parts, there is no end place and yet there is a place of experiencing more and more goodness coming in, only as I am willing to let go of what is not loving or bringing feeling of goodness.

This is the cost it feels like, to experience the fullness of who we are, and what this life and universe has to offer us as Divine Humans. Through feeling the pain and trauma, I am liberating parts of me from the prisons and Matrices they have learnt to call home, but to leave the only home they have known is painful too. To leave behind what they felt was nurturing, loving and resonant for so long, to go towards the more that I feel is available, brings up so much for them to digest. To realize how much of what they felt was Love, has actually been toxic and kept them inside the prison walls, is painful, tender, vulnerable and raw.

There is a time, and a self loving paced, organic-ness to being ready to soberly look into the reality of the life that was known for so long. As parts are felt and validated in what they have experienced; first by others in sessions, which then templates how we can valid ourselves, more space opens inside of us. As I am deepen in this process, I experience how this space becomes available for higher dimensional aspects of myself, as well as Divine beings to come in and support my continued exploration with my parts.

The ones we have been longing for, the parts of us who have the higher wisdom we have been seeking for, and the Beings of Love who we have been calling for, for so long, forgetting how close they have always been, come in to us. It feels like our commitment to keep showing up for ourselves, is a beacon, as we become more attuned to feeling, we become more sensitive to the higher frequencies all around us. This for me is so much more embodied, which brings a visceral confirmation of what is real and the Love that is always here.

When I have pushed to attain a certain state, the higher frequencies can feel ‘floaty’ or ‘wishy-washy’, they cannot ground and actually be beneficial in my everyday life. My parts cannot let it deeply in, in the ways that is needed for them to feel, heal and integrate their past experiences. They cannot rest within me if they cannot FEEL, the stable presence of the safety these higher frequencies and Divine Beings are offering them, especially I feel Divine Mother. She feels so significant to my parts process right now, as I digest with parts of me who have never felt held or nurtured.

It feels like if we keep pushing beyond pain as it is arising, not being sensitive to the subtle contractions, we keep ourselves in the prison of feeling alone and in pain, we keep ourselves in the suffering loops. As I write this, I feel how I am learning to be really present to the subtleties of all this, this no longer has to be a process of digging and trying to unearth pain or trauma, the pain arises organically in response to just BEing in life, being available to the healing life is offering us in every moment. As there is more and more goodness arising, it can be quite the process as well to let that in, I feel many of us who have been on this journey for a while will resonate with the striving and pushing for healing, or the over focusing on what is wrong, it can feel quite addictive to parts who are so used to the frequencies of abuse and trauma, to want to stay there it feels like.

I feel I am entering into more of a space of flow with the process, and an availability for what is real in the moment, letting life and what is in my heart lead my process. This feels to me what it means to be embodied. Parts of me no longer want to get out of the body to find home, or out of feeling pain, because they are realizing more and more from experience, that their true home, their higher frequency origins and their Divine nature activates and arises from within, as they feel and clear the pain and trauma they have held onto for so long, because that is what has felt like home.

The empty space that is opening up within me and within my life, through my willingness to feel pain and no longer hold onto places, people & patterns in my life that cause more pain, can feel both completely full of potential and completely void. So many questions, and so much time to explore them, so much to digest, and so much clarity to be birthed in me too, A space of feeling, healing and becoming.

I find myself in the moment honoring a very tender process with my younger parts as they let go of relationships that have been abusive and toxic, non of this is easy, but it is real and honest, and that is what my Soul longs for. This is what my woman’s heart longs for, and as my parts learn to trust me, and they experience the beauty and goodness living life lead from a tender, vulnerable, open heart brings, feeling pain becomes SO worth it and SO valuable, as it becomes the Inner Compass guiding us home, always, to LOVE.

Much Love,

Deva x

Deva Yasmin is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

 

‘Free To Be’ Series Digestions & Reflections

By Deva Yasmin

I could sense that the ‘Free To Be series’ was going to be a huge portal for me and my parts, I knew I was being invited into BIG shifts if I was ready to jump in. Sometimes there is only a sense of something that draws or calls you in, a knowing, this is going to be HUGE. The topics of each week somehow felt like they were designed to support me through what was next, the Divine knowing what was coming even as me and my parts did not. I did not want to miss the opportunity of expansion that I know continuously comes through the SoulFullHeart process, or being in the circle of BIG Souls that it draws too.

Yesterday’s group call felt like a tipping point for me personally, as a whole way of being has fallen away in the short 4 weeks this series has been going: a job, relationships including the one with my beloved mate (the best I have ever known), and a home, all being released to make way for more resonance in my life. It has been an intense few weeks and as I land in my NEW timeline, I sense the digestion of these recent events in my personal life are going to take some time to be understood and felt.

There are so many parts having various reactions, feelings and responses to what has happened, so many paradoxes being held. A theme that has run throughout the series; how we can all hold so many polarities and feelings within us at the same time, despair & desire, resonance & dissonance, death & rebirth…

As these themes have been felt, it has become so much clearer to feel the parts in push/pull within, and noticing how dynamics on the outside have been there for a while, trying to reflect to me the inner dissonance. There is a pace to this work that although very gentle especially when navigating trauma, accelerates our growth edges too. A pace that can seem intense at times to parts of us, which feels connected to the accelerated times of Earth we all find ourselves in. As more parts are felt, more clarity arises. As more is healed and cleared, more space for feeling desire is opened, and this feels SO new for my parts, feeling their desires – What???? Really!!! Being felt in what they desire, validated in their wants and needs through sessions, makes it very hard to stay in places that are no longer offering what they need in the same ways. This process can push up all that has gone unfelt as well, in order to maintain something that felt resonant for a time, or that held much resonance but is not transacting in all areas.

I was touched by the theme of dissonance/resonance in relationships, it felt so true for me that what I am moving towards is more resonance in relationships, in ALL areas. It was hard to track all that was offered, as my parts are so very much in the grief process of the breakdown of so much known and loved. I feel like I am now in a phase of needing to feel and digest why I have stayed in, be drawn to, and been in dissonance throughout my life.

This morning I felt in a deeper way my younger parts, Yazzy and Yasmin, how they are navigating the changes in our relationships. I could sense my Inner Mother coming in more to be felt too. I felt the dissonance between these parts, feeling how Yasmin my Inner Teenager does not trust my Inner Mother, feeling how she actually felt like the ‘Mother’ of Yazzy, my Inner Child, who needed to grow up quite early as a way of protection. To feel this dissonance within me is new ground for me, as I sense how much of that dissonance has been projected out onto my relationships, making it difficult to maintain resonance. I feel how I have actually been this dissonance, so how could I draw more resonance, even as parts of me have so wanted to.

It feels like certain dynamics in relationships keep these dynamics inside set in place with little space for other parts to be let in and met. It feels like this work offers such a solid, stable ground for parts to be felt and to move into the NEW, a process I could not have navigated this without. It feels like I have tried before, but without the integrity of feeling or the ability to draw on the gifts of these different parts of me to support me through the transition, it has been hard to move into the new.

I feel how my younger parts have been the ones holding so much responsibility that was never really theirs, trying to navigate and lead my life, work and relationships. I sense the growing connection with my Inner Mother. Feeling the disempowerment of not having her voice heard or validated will support me to let in NEW ways of being in relationship and drawing more resonance.

She feels like a key part actually, that will help Yazzy feel safe enough to let in all she actually desires. As I feel her tenderness and vulnerability around letting new relationships and timelines in, I feel her needing the maternal space-holding from within to feel safe. I feel the Inner Child and Teenager knowing the beauty they desire to let in, as they have the sensitivity to feel the vibrational frequencies of resonance that we have been longing for, it feels like. I feel how the pain of the old paradigm of being in relationships created the conditioning of accepting dissonance, staying in some kind of safety that breeds more of it rather than being taught ways to feel the INNER sanctuary of safety that can be created through the SoulFullHeart process. This anchors parts, giving the solid foundation within to mature and thrive, helping them step towards resonance in a world that can make parts feel so ungrateful for wanting more or judged for being ‘too much’.

When really these parts have never been ‘too much’ or asked for too much, they have just always felt that resonance is our birthright, to be with others who feel us, see us, get us. We have until now lived in a world that has wanted to keep our capacity for dreaming, visioning and joy to a minimum, it feels like, in case we became too FREE. As I write this it feels so perfect, so Divinely orchestrated that the current SoulFullHeart series is called ‘Free To Be’ as that is where I find myself at the moment, free to be, whoever and whatever I so desire, and dare to dream into reality. It is interesting to feel how scared some parts can feel of so much freedom that at the same time they deeply long for… another paradox.

Through this process full of paradoxes, Life is becoming a rainbow, a light spectrum of possibilities, of new experiences and timelines available to us all of more resonance. No longer does life have to be lived through the black or white lens we have been so used to.

This NEW magical, multi-faceted, multi-dimensional way of life is the frequency of resonance I am now ready to draw and am drawing through this process of parts work. It brings such a new richness to feeling ALL experiences, even the most painful and challenging ones such as relationships ending.

You can still join the ‘Free To Be’ series and purchase the recordings of the groups call so far here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe

Much Love to you all in these times of navigating so much change and letting go.

Deva x

Deva Yasmin is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Inner Community Healing, Paving The Way For 5D CommUNITY With Others

By Deva Yasmin

To be in community is a deep desire and calling in my heart, the desire started to burn for this more as I opened to spirituality. I can feel how this desire for community has run deep my whole life, it feels like it was the reason I spent many years working in the Hospitality industry, as there is a sense of togetherness that comes when working so closely and intensely with a group of people in a restaurant. It feels like the longing for community has also been my greatest pain, especially growing up in an environment and society where I felt I never fitted in. Right now, I am feeling with my parts the extent of this pain as I continue to unravel myself from it.

One of the draws for me to re-enter sessions with SoulFullHeart was the community. I had sessions for 6 months in 2017. It feels like I had to take a step back and explore other things to really let in what SoulFullHeart is offering. Even though I wasn’t engaged in sessions, I was witnessing through social media and within the group something very unique. I feel that what I have longed for within community, SoulFullHeart are on the leading edge of. Beings who are committed to showing up for their own inner healing and Ascension whilst at the same time learning to bridge that into relationships, through parts work.

As I expressed this desire for community in my session with Jelelle Awen, she invited me into a NEW way of feeling and letting in community, beginning first on the inside. This has been massively liberating for parts of me because within this deep desire for community with others has been a deeper longing and pain of not belonging and of feeling unsafe. Something parts of me could actually not find anywhere else, because all along they had needed to find that within ME. With these parts leading the way I feel how they drew souls who kept reflecting and confirming to me that I could not find what they were seeking outside. This caused much pain.

I see now how this also led these parts to continue and stay in unhealthy relationships for too long, to feel some sense of security and safety. This is a deeply vulnerable and at times painful process I am navigating right now, which I will reveal more about in time as my parts stabilize and ground in the safety of Infinite Love. That IS coming through even more as I turn my desire towards nurturing and tending my inner community, rather than overly focusing on, tending to or care taking others in exchange for a sense of belonging, Love and purpose.

I feel I am getting right to the core of what has been holding my parts in pain and with us all now feeling each other, there is a new level of honesty that is transmuting and transforming places I have felt stuck in for so long. This feels possible because I am learning through the SoulFullHeart process how to feel the inner dynamics and relationships of parts and aspects of myself.

As my parts are digesting and healing their experiences with me, they are beginning to receive the Love and acceptance they have always longed for. This is helping ME find the courage to BE and express more of who I AM, as a Soul. I find my way of being in life shifting as I calibrate to the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. The process is becoming more about receiving Love and support from within. Then responding to the parts AS they show up, that still do not know how to receive, feel unworthy of receiving or are still distrustful of Love because of the trauma they have experienced in the past, in this life and others.

This is rumbling throughout my life, as I am now feeling what it feels like to BE loved, to BE validated and to BE heard. My desire for this on the outside is growing, meaning it is becoming harder to continue what parts of me have until now accepted as love and connection with other. It’s a really challenging time, as I collapse the compartments of my life, to restore balance and wholeness to my inner and outer realities. It is surprising me at times how quickly this process is shifting things just from feeling how parts have lived and why.

There is an empowerment happening it feels of my Soul Bigness, my 4D/5D selves and all the aspects of me who KNOW what Love and commUNITY are truly meant to be already. As I feel and heal my 3D parts and experiences, more space is opening out for these higher aspects to come in to my awareness, my body and my life, supporting me to move into alignment with my Soul Expression and Service in this life.

Working with parts is guiding me towards and opening me to higher timeline possibilities that have felt impossible until now and hard to manifest. I have known since before I can remember that this 3D way of life is too limited, it has never felt like the path I came here to settle in. Now I know it is because I came here to create rumbles in it and be part of Ascension on Earth Now. Though I have tried many times to step into something NEW, without all my parts consciously co creating and on board, I have had to circle back in, to feel them and integrate, so I can walk with them across the bridge into the NEW with Love, rather than jumping off the cliff where the unknown can feel like an abyss. This making the death/rebirth cycles we all go through more chaotic than catalytic.

This feels like a continuous, multi layered, multi dimensional experience of Ascending within 3D, not getting out of it. Bridging and weaving Fifth Dimensional Consciousness into the fabric of it, shifting our individual and collective consciousness from the INside, out.

We explored walking gracefully across the bridge into the NEW rather than jumping off the cliff in yesterday’s monthly group call . These calls are a huge highlight of my month, along with my sessions and the monthly Women’s call. I feel the co-creation that is happening between our souls, how the joint desire for Golden Earth is creating the reality I feel so many of us Knowing and Longing for.

If you’d like to purchase the recording of this call, you can through https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/product-page/12-yeshua-magdalene-consciousness-activation-raphael-jelelle-awen or offer $15 CAD via paypal.me/jelelleawen

Much Love

Deva x

Deva Yasmin is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leaving The Toxic Family Dinner Table To Experience The Nourishment Of Love

By Jelelle Awen

Better for you to be alone in your own goodness than with others called, ‘family’ who actually don’t see/get/resonate with your soul….

Sitting at your birth family dinner table during the holidays or any day, any time. You adjust to the awkwardness, the things left unsaid. You learn to hide the REAL feelings that come up as you pass the ‘this’ and the ‘that’. You ignore the tensions that ride and glide under every unspoken truth. You hope to remain unseen and safe in an effort to just ‘get through.’

So much you cannot share here…..as there is no room! You put it back in the closet then, far away, as it has no ‘place’. Your truth, your essence cannot be worn or shown. The food has more room than you do as it serves to distract from the disconnect that seems to season everything with flatness.

No wonder parts of you struggle to digest and to eat! No wonder you never really feel full! No wonder you are left wanting SO MUCH more than what you received! No wonder parts of doubt if you will EVER really get what you most want and really need!

So many meals left with rumbling heart still aching for the food of LOVE. So many meals sat with unexpressed fears and unshed tears. So many meals started with hopes and desires only to be left disappointed. So many meals with unacknowledged elephants sitting in the chairs.

Conforming and ‘fitting in’, putting on the mask and learn to wear it well…..avoiding anything ‘deep’ or ‘too heavy’, helping to steer the conversation away from the real or the true or the difficult to say out loud. Parts of you become experts at this dance and this ‘game’ because they HAVE HAD to be. This is survival of the ‘fittest’, those who can perform in this play acting out, those who can BE on this stage….. have the best chance of ‘making it’ and ‘succeeding.’

Yet, oh how WEARY of this are the parts of you that have shrunk to this place for so long! The masks are slipping off, half gone, one side unstrung and hanging loose. Your soul bright light is starting to SHINE through. Your truth is starting to BURST forward. You don’t want to be passed around so lightly any more You don’t want to be passed over. To be disregarded or seen without curiosity is becoming no longer interesting to you.

You are pushing away from this family dinner table. You are reaching your hand out to help parts of you leave it too that are ‘stuck’ there, even if it has been many years ago. You are opening your heart to hold the fears and tensions and anxieties that come up from leaving the ‘safety’ of this game. You are letting go of reacting to what other’s judge or think or feel about you.

You are open, now, to finding the table of your soul tribe. To taking in the meals of nourishing love in every bite, every exchange, every moment of BEing in the real. All is spoken out, revealed, and shared as THAT is what is most nourishing and, ultimately, most natural. Curiosity and reverence are passed around as the currency that spends between this family. All parts of you come forward to be seen, to be felt, and to be acknowledged.

THIS is the new earth experience of ‘family dinner’, of the gathering together where we offer new energy to a common ritual. THIS is the transition from the old and what so many of us have known and INTO the NEW, where realness is the spice and love flavors every bite.

Love,

Jelelle Awen

1:1 sessions available with me for women to bridge with MUCH love to the places/parts/energies inside that may still be at that family dinner table. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about  1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Moving From Care-taking to Care-giving

By Raphael Awen

After raising or changing your frequency, you find and feel old energies present in your relationships that reflect the old you; the old you that doesn’t exist anymore, at least not in the same way, or to the same degree.

A natural tendency is to caretake those friends or family members rather than honestly and integrously bringing your truth, seeing them as kind of ‘grandfathered in’ into your life. Trouble is, grandpa’s dying or maybe even long gone, but you’re stuck with all of his unsorted stuff.

I don’t know of a greater or more effective cap on our growth than this deep rooted conditioning of caretaking.

Seeing to the core of this tendency, we see that the withhold of our truth is actually a withhold of our love; albeit in the name of love. A part of us is defensively caretaking the friend or family member out of fear of loss, out of personal need, rather than heart overflow.

This is why it’s called caretaking – it’s very much ‘on the take’. It’s living out of the absence and lack of love. It’s begging and fighting over scraps and crumbs.

Integrity asks us to be integrated, as in coming from one place, not two. This means purity; of one substance. Here, and only here, as well as magically here, the love that we truly give our selves (parts of us) is the same love; the same in character and kind that we have to give others. Nothing needs to be hidden. Nothing needs to be worked on to preserve the relationship. Relating is real and only real. Real has an energy of its own where the tendency to caretake naturally falls away and diminishes more and more as we integrate.

What truth of yours is wanting to come out into your relationships? What truth have you been disintegrously withholding in the name (and name only) of love? What manifestations of growth is a part of you afraid of while holding onto this shrinking pattern? What stress that is sourced in this hiding have you normalized? What would it feel like to bring your truth?

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.