Coming Undone When Love Has Won

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Deep guttural tears.  Floodgates open to let out what has been constructed to hold back the fear.  The realization of the part of you that had been holding the interface to your relationship to 3D.  It IS your 3D self.  Trying so hard to manage and keep up a charade that it has grown so weary of keeping up with all the ways in which you were not fully in your heart, or expressing your needs.  This personalized self that has been the default operating system for as long as you can remember.  As long as it can remember.  

But as the tide of Love`s widening and deepening reach makes its way to your shores, the outpost of your most defended heartland, cracks in the facade begin to take root in the foundation of your BEing.  It come into your awareness over the course of time or hits you square in the gut in one fail swoop.  This part of you, the one so trying to stay afloat above the fear and the pain of not being the real deal, of all that lies underneath in the murky depths of its existential quandary, has started to lose its grip and can no longer maintain business as usual.

When you have enough of a YOU there, this part can let go into that.  Even if it is just enough you to lean into the Divine, something is being held in Grace.  A container for which the matrix of the former interface can come undone.  Undone from all the doing.  All the pretending.  All the trying.  It is a shedding of an old and tired energy.  One that needed a lot of propping up to manage its day to day survival.  This only comes into awareness as the love inside you begins to feel the Love that is already here and has already won.  It can not be ignored for it has already claimed you.  You are just working your way there.

The increasing frequency of light is pressing ever so much into the crevices of your needed healing.  Of what really needs to be let go of so that you can let in more.  The more that wants to drown you in its goodness.  But the Not Goodness needs to be felt first.  But when held in sacred space, this pain is actually a relief.  The part of us that has put itself up front to do life actually feels the blessing in it as the balm of your love and that of the Divine give the necessary medicine to heal and integrate.  

As these days continue in their upward spiraling, the more you will begin to feel all that needs to be felt.  This is why it is so important to have a way to hold this space within you.  To feel yourself just big enough to hold the pain and the fear allowing it to have it needed time and space without becoming it.  It is one that can be felt within yourself and within community.  We were never meant to do all this alone even as this can be such an individual process at times.  
As the dust settles, the digestion is made over due course, a new feeling of awareness and clarity of Self arises.  Not that we are truly done by any stretch, but we are another step closer to BEing the love that we were always meant to be.  To experiencing the true gift of our own inner union and sense of wholeness.  To open up to new relationships and sacred romance that bring us new layers of healing and deepening the waters of our cosmic ocean of wonder and ecstasy.  This part of us is forever honored and revered as it held what it needed to until it was no longer serving our inner rising tide of greatness.  Days go by and it will feel like a dream.  But for now, it is a sacred time of blessed messiness and coming undone in order to come home.

 

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Fellowship of the Kings of Heart

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I have a continued calling and desire to keep writing and inviting others to feel this archetypal King energy inside the hearts of all men.  This is even true for women, as they have their own inner masculine energy that has protected their inner femininity from fully blooming for the most noble of reasons.  They too can be healed to a King that helps to become to a counterpart to her arising Queen.  For men, it becomes one portal into our deepest essence as a sacred human in masculine form.  

I can’t help but to feel a loneliness that exists in the Heart of Man.  An authentic desire for deeper connection and resonance.  So much of our connection can be in the mental body,and if it does transact in the emotional body there can be some deep resistances to becoming too intimate.  There is a dearth of authentic, intimate templating that we have been exposed to, at least in my past personal experience.  I always felt more comfortable being more emotional with women than with men, but seemed to find more heart sensitive men to have relationships with when I did.  But there is another level of vulnerability that we never seemed to cross.  We stayed in a contracted frequency that had some nourishment but not a lot of growth.  

As we find ourselves on ever-changing timelines and raising frequencies, we are being exposed to our deeper needs, desires, and the pains that follow them. We are being moved into experiences of remembering more of who we ARE in our most authentic Truth.  As men, I feel how their is a desire to share this within community that can find itself to lean more toward mental digestions.  Or there is a heartfelt ache to connect in heart space but there may be no one around to really understand what is moving through you.  Or you may be blessed a beautiful sweet spot and are desiring more to join you.  

I feel that we are being called back into our most heart-open leading edge of service and leadership.  One that starts square in our hearts to feel all the places where we feel alone, forsaken, guilty, unworthy, confused, or in doubt.  There are many different textures and levels inside of us that desire to be felt and for some it can be a lot to hold.  The heart is seeking feeling and to be reunited with its soul.  Its King.  It seeks to be made whole and then expanded out into the Cosmic Heart of Humanity.  To lead others into the glorious NOW of our deepest gifts and magic.  To fly in the jetstream of Golden Consciousness with an untethered mind free of the energy that kept it in the dark spaces of our pain.  This is what I feel we ache for.  I least my heart and soul does.

And I wish to do this with other men in a fellowship of leadership.  We have such a huge part to play in this arising new golden era of consciousness.  To help heal the All by going into our One.  To reclaim our brilliant kingdom within full of passion, vision, and creativity.  We permit ourselves to live the lives of the Kings that we ARE and encourage and challenge each other lovingly to this grand place of masculine relationship.
I have experienced this with my good friend Raphael Awen and so much want to share this experience with other men.  I loved my male friends dearly, as brothers of heart.  I found myself on a new timeline, but feel them at times in my heart.  

This is a show of desire to be in a bond of like-hearted souls that have chosen to fully inhabit their desire for growth, healing, and building an Empire of Love.  I feel a new care and expanded heart for men everywhere, regardless where we are at on our quest.  I would love to serve the hearts of those so drawn to this fellowship and leadership of Heart.  I claim this inner kingdom for myself and long for you to do the same.  

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

SoulFullHeart Museletter: Week Of April 17: Blog Announcement, NEW Event

Our weekly collage of creations from this past week, known as our beloved SoulFullHeart Museletter, has been released for yet another ‘week’. As always, it is a place to find our latest writings, audio recordings, and event listing updates. We (Raphael Awen, Jelelle Awen, Kalayna Colibri, and Gabriel Heartman) are honoured and excited for every release, to feel our heart work land in your own heart and support your growth in whatever ways you are ready for.

This week we are featuring an exciting announcement about our blog. SoulFullHeart Blog has been named as one of the Top 30 Inspirational Blogs by Feedspot! We also have a new event to invite you to if you are local to Puerto Vallarta. We will be holding our first (of what could many!) Meditation And Spiritual Sharing Group at Vallarta Co-work on Sunday, May 14th at 10:30am. We are asking for a donation (no minimum) and the format will be similar to the virtual group calls, with a guided meditation, SoulFullHeart-based teachings, and a space for vulnerable sharing.

Please visit our website if you wish to sign-up to receive our weekly Museletter in your email. You can also contact Kalayna Colibri or email us at soulfullhearts@gmail.com to sign-up.

Please click here to have a look at this week’s Museletter.

LOVE to you from all of us! ❤

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Entering A NEW Timeline: SoulFullHeart Blog Named Top 30 Inspirational Blogs

By Jelelle Awen

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The Four Of Us At The Ranch, April, 2016

This is an interesting timeline for us to be on, Raphael and I were just digesting this together yesterday. After several years in obscurity (what I used to call with mostly ‘crickets’ as a response), we are drawing more reSOULance, readers, interest, and souls engaging in sessions and group calls with us. It seems that daily we receive a wonderful, supportive and resonant comment from someone who has been moved and touched by what we’ve shared. This is SO amazing! Collaborations with in5d.com, Lovehaswon.org, and others has provided a way for our words and energy to go OUT to those who might be resonant with us and for this exposure, we are SO grateful.

This response is a ‘sign of the times’ it seems with SO MANY more souls called to awakening and ascending. SO MANY more souls it feels like open to feeling and living and BEing beyond the 3D conditioning that they’ve received…the 3D way of life just running out of ground for them and the emptiness of it, the flatness, the LIMITS it places….just NOT being enough anymore. I feel so much more openness to the alternative, to expanded ways of seeing and BEing, to TRUE self inquiry and authentic growth.

Of course, since the outside is only a reflection of the INside….I can certainly see how we are more READY on the inside then we have been before to BE seen. These last several years have been such a fertile time of inner growth and awakenings, combined with many outward shifts in geography (the big one being our move to Mexico from Canada 2.5 years ago), livelihood (leaving a lucrative business behind to align our money needs with SoulFullHeart drawings), relationships (saying ‘no’ to any that weren’t a reflection of the love that we ARE with an invitation to join us). Letting go of 3D conditioning consciously with these choices and through working with parts of ourselves that hold this conditioning.

A year ago, we were still living on our land at a remote ranch with no internet, electricity (other than one solar panel), more sheep than people. We were starting to be drawn to move into town in order to be with Gabriel and Kalayna, who had jobs working online teaching English. Town was calling us which was a surprise after ALL we had invested into the ranch including three organic gardens and building a hut out of cob (with only a $100 investment in money but HOURS of our labor). I felt the ‘ping’ starting at this time and it really rang out in June and by mid-July we were all living in Puerto Vallarta together (about three hours north of the ranch.)

Since landing in town, it has been a whirlwind of activations, awakenings, outward response, crucible of service along with the boundary setting that comes with THAT. I went from NO time online (I went six weeks once without leaving the ranch or going online) to being online almost all day as I was suddenly LIT UP to share and to serve love. Every thumb and heart I received and every supportive comment seemed to land in the place that been unseen and unread during my inner years. The desire to teach and serve was ALWAYS there…I already HAD done and been that, just within a setting with a former spiritual group that wasn’t ME anymore, that I had outgrown and for a small group of people that we had drawn to SoulFullHeart over the years. I kept SEEING the vision of a conscious community, by the ocean, with organic gardens woven around and in, and the SoulFullHeart process as the way of life and reality for which the community was formed around. I kept FEELING myself as a co-leader of this community with Raphael, spending my days teaching, serving, growing (both inwardly AND in the gardens).

I had surrendered to maybe NEVER serving people again in space holding, to maybe being an organic gardener and homesteading the rest of this life….and THEN I am suddenly here in town and synchs and opportunities and connections keep opening up and shifting, with some opening out and some completing. THIS timeline of service of love, especially with women offering them a way to embody their sacred femininity, feels like one that I no longer desire to back away from. THIS timeline of community living that just wants to expand out and include MORE is always close to me. It has ALREADY HAPPENED is how it feels…..My everyday mantra/affirmation to myself (and ‘into’ my stone friend/manifestor citrine) is “I am a great healer and teacher. I live in a beautiful house by the ocean, travel the world to serve, and are surrounded by students and friends and community.” ALL of this feels like a gift, not an entitlement, yet ALSO my birthright…ALL of this is true in the same moment.

I have written every day since January and shared almost all of that writing on a daily basis on the SoulFullHeart blog. The writing hasn’t come from my mind, it is not ‘planned out’ or plotted out or even outlined. It is spontaneous, in the moment, and inspired. THIS post right now I did not PLAN to write, but then Feedspot awarded us Top 30 Inspirational Blog (You can read more here: http://blog.feedspot.com/inspirational_blogs/) and HERE these words are. This blog is five years in the making and this recognition from the outside has me feeling a bit nostalgic. I decided to look up in our archives (which goes all the way back to OCTOBER, 2011!!) the first post that I ever did on this blog. It was this one: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2011/11/16/a-slow-burning-desire/.

Exploring femininity in relationship: responding versus charging ahead is the title…..yes, EXACTLY the kind of thing I would write today! Guess this shows how LONG this stuff has been baking in me, even back when I was going by “Jillian Vriend” (my birth name and Raphael’s birth last name, which we changed to “Awen” last year And the Wayne I refer to in the article is Raphael’s birth name!).

This is a moment of gratitude and appreciation for me….for the support of YOU who are reading these words and the collaborative energy that forms from the taking in of them and my energy in offering them. As YOU are energy and so am I, your reading of them IS an energy exchange that IS nourishing, even if we never communicate in person or through comments or within session space. Your taking in FUELS the inspiration to share more…you are an important aspect of the process! THANK YOU for the support and however our worlds might interact and connect in the future (there are limitless possibilities of timelines related to THAT), you ARE in my heart.

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine facilitator, soul scribe, love ambassador, way-shower, and co-creator and teacher of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

Feeling What We Really Want In Our Social Worlds: Indigo, Crystal And Rainbow Souls Blog Series

 

by Kalayna Colibri

our social worlds

On a Saturday night, I gaze among the busy social streets and walkways, humming with activity and energy and alcohol and friendship… sometimes coupled with drama and pain and backed-up emotional outbursts. During these party times, you can feel the buzz in the air that will soon be in every body, not just from substances taken in, but from the high of socializing, being among peers, perhaps finding love, sex or making new friends. There are grounds here that are healthy to explore and some that aren’t really in a sense, and yet it’s all sacred and it’s all ultimately a path to self-discovery and remembrance, even if this isn’t made conscious in the moments these selves, these individuals, these human BEings are in.

While young, being spiritual can find its place in you if this is what you’ve signed up for… exploring consciousness can sometimes happen with your peers, while at other times it won’t or just can’t. For a phase this journey with them can only go so deep and that’s fine with you for a while, but beyond that phase when that was enough, it’s not quite enough anymore. This is when values shift along with ideas of life and how to live it consciously and more fully. This is where certain areas of focus, ways to find pleasure, and paths to feeling a togetherness with others all rumble beneath your feet and in front of your eyes. This is where your life begins to turn itself upside down in countless ways as you begin to feel the need to push away, sometimes dramatically, sometimes subtly, but always in a way that reminds you, you are your own person and you have your own sense of what energies you need and want to be around as your self love heals and deepens.

There can be a fear arising then, for some… that no one will ever really “get” them or may judge them for walking away from the relationship. Parts of them form and begin to strategize to either stay alone out of fear of having and then losing intimacy at any level, or choose to merge in with whatever group of people they are around or whatever situation they are in, becoming one with all around them and not much of an individual in most ways. There is tension and yet also relief as you find your ways to take care of and love YOU as your number one priority. There is sometimes also flatness, as managing these ups and downs (that are hormonal, sure, but also a genuine awakening to soul and heart pain) can be a challenging crucible to hold and handle and be with. So much depends on who you choose to be around and talk to and lean into for support. This shopping around, seeking, searching experience is one that can be incredibly mind and heart-opening, fascinating, and ever-arising too, as resonance moves in and out in very necessary growth phases. This again changes the social circle you choose to be part of and certainly affects the one you currently have as you continue to awaken to the love you are and the love you want to experience between yourself and others. There are so many different dynamics that are possible here and that play out in different ways, with many possible outcomes… yet the risk is always the same – if I don’t stay the same and they do, I will be friendless again or even for the first time…

The strong soul-pull to discover and remember our purposes is something that is happening more and more with people of all ages and soul groups, especially right now with ascension processes accelerating for everyone, yet when it comes to indigo, crystal and rainbow souls, for example, these social awakenings can come very early in our lives as we came in with a powerful, mission-based focus that is natural for us to feel, yet not so natural to “know” exactly what to do with. It can be very challenging to finds ways to fit in with others in our peer group, not because we are victims to this (though parts of us understandably feel this way sometimes) but because we chose for this to be the case… after all, if we actually DID feel as if we totally, fully, completely “belonged”, where would our sense of mission and awakening to our soul gifts have room to happen, take hold and start manifesting in our lives? To not suffer around this, means going IN and feeling ourselves with reflections from teachers and mentors who have also been there and can help us learn to navigate it, often much better than our birth parents ever could – not necessarily because they didn’t want to try, but because in some ways they weren’t actually meant to be the ones to lead you onward and into this.

Throughout the majority of my life to date, having and keeping a thriving a social world was very challenging. This is partly because I was always very much IN my emotional states and didn’t have templating for how to actually BE with them and hold them… no adult around me could help with this and my peers had a hard time relating to me most of the time, plus it eventually became a tool for parts of me to actually push and keep others away. Then there was spirituality and the deepening of THAT for me… and now I am on a very powerful and ever-expanding path that spans both my emotional AND spiritual inner realities and THAT is rare, though it seems that more and more people, as they awaken, are realizing how connected these two realities are and that they need healing in both in order to fully embrace and live into ascension. In my experience and observation both, I can see and feel how this ground of being naturally very emotional and also spiritual has been and continues to be a tough crucible for many of us… awakening does come at a cost, yet is intended to invite us out of suffering while holding the parts of us who cling to suffering as a way to be in life. One of these ways in which we seem to choose to continue suffering, is by surrounding ourselves with relationships that do not have a deeply resonant ground. Our social worlds collapse and expand as we continue to grow… but not without love leading the way and guiding us to our next places inward that then draw our next circumstances outward.

Not having a full social world to ground you can be hard for some souls, yet for others it won’t be and that poses its own challenges. Choosing the path of the lone wolf is also hard and even though parts of you may be working to bury the loneliness somehow, it is still there. These parts can be held, worked with and healed deeply, allowing us to feel how we really, genuinely feel, what it is we most deeply want and who we actually want to be around and spend time with. Our loneliness is sacred and alchemical… it is creative. It is a space where we can feel our deepest aches and desires for mateship, for companionship, for a community of people that continually arise for us as we arise for them. Being afraid of feeling our loneliness is expected and normal, but holding these parts of us who feel this way teaches us so much about ourselves and offers us much healing when it is held in our hearts FOR us and WITH love and Divine guidance and company too… we are never really alone, though this can be hard to feel and let in. Yet sometimes alone-ness can be a grace, a place to genuinely feel what we need to feel, and an oven to bake our arising desires in.

Perhaps you are part of a social world right now that may be running out of ground for you, as your awakenings are helping you feel pictures and energies of the sort of love you want to feel from you to you and flowing from you to others and vice versa… in the end, the choice is yours as to what steps to take next, and there is no wrong answer or true misstep along the way. Even our biggest messes seem to offer us many gems of learning, growth and self-discovery. Letting go can be painful and hard, yet in the end, true service to a relationship of any kind starts with feeling what you genuinely want and need, while holding all relationships with an open hand and heart. This becomes a grace to you and your parts, and them and theirs too, as everyone is then free to go along their own path, however they see and feel it unfolding for them.

I would love to serve you and help you navigate this terrain that can be so challenging and yet hopeful too. You are meant to become more of your essence, your light, your soul purpose and mission. You are meant to lead and BE a big part of ascension and we all need each other more than perhaps we ever have before!

You can visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information on session space.

Sending you lots of love and support… ❤

Kalayna

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

No More Waiting To Live

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When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened

But in my dreams, I slew the dragon

And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane

I’m walking in my old footsteps, once again

And you say, just be here now

Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin

Let me throw one more dice

I know that I can win

I’m waiting for my real life to begin

from Waiting For My Real Life To Begin by Colin Hay

 

These words found there way to me through an interesting route that is so feminine in its nature.  Seemingly random thoughts and exchanges that landed a song into my dock.  I was feeling into what I wanted to write about today and this song hit a chord and I felt to play it and see what tune it sings.  

For those that are in more 4D consciousness, whether just entered or are seasoned veterans (interesting choice of words), there can be this sense that something hasn´t quite shifted on the outside to reflect the growing awareness of what feels true on the inside.  There can be this feeling of looking toward the horizon waiting for something to happen.  In the song, he also uses the words `I have a plan` and `times are just lean`.  There is an externalization, a projection onto life, that it is not on our side or we need to take control in someway to create a desired outcome that hasn`t arrived yet.  That the passion and desire inside are conditional to some set of external circumstances that have to occur in order to be set free.  

I remember this well in my own journey, feeling stuck in a `good career`. Trying to seek many different ways to make it all okay even as I was still `walking down the same ol` cobblestone streets`.  What was needing to happen was what the song suggested and that was to be in the moment and go into your heart. Feel what was really trying to be felt and expressed.  Nothing on the outside could make that any better.  It was I that had to make the journey in and listen to my soul.

The waiting was just a suffering.  A denial to really feel what was evidently true but a part of me was afraid to admit.  A more wounded masculine need to control something in order to resist what was true.  By going more still and surrendering to the feelings, I could allow these feelings to arise and be held in space created by a more solid me and the much needed support of another to hold that truth until I could do it on my own more regularly.  Feeling the fears and resistances to claiming my own power from with.  True empowerment.  Not control.  

Being in a more Yin space helps to feel how parts of us are so afraid of actually letting go of a conditioning or a relationship that is keeping us stuck and in state of suffering.  There many that have done that for themselves and there are those, like myself, who needed support. It is not a sign of weakness but of strength.  Leaning IN order to raise UP.  Support and guidance comes in all forms.  The key is to seek it so that you may help heal it.  I can feel how this can be more difficult for men than for woman but that may be shifting as more men continue to find the value of going in and feeling all there is to feel to stop the waiting and start the living.  
That is what I wanted.  Tired of the mask.  Tired of pretending. Tired of the waiting.  Because there is no time than NOW.  But I hold so much gratitude for that suffering because it brought me to a more authentic place of BEing and living.  It made the alleged comfortable very uncomfortable, so that there were only two choices…and then really only one.  Let go and Go IN.

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Ready to Launch

 

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Inside the heart lie the propellers of our greatest flight.  They are covered over by the weight of our deepest wounds and fears of our darkest places.  They remain scattered among the soil of our emotional terrain.  If we truly wish to bring our most prized possession, our humanity, with us on this next phase of emergence, we will need to go the places that anchor this incredible power and potential.  

Like a spring that has been compressed, we hold our own version of kinetic energy.  Stored in our emotional body, cells, and DNA.  For men, I feel many of us are in conflict with that energy.  What does that power actually look and feel like outside the unhealed domain of fear and control?  The collective shadow of that control that we share and are not totally conscious of at its roots.  We are not responsible for moving that individually but it does exist inside of us to whatever degree it does.  What rage still resides inside of our hearts that has yet to be tapped into and loved with compassion and understanding?  

Without going in and seeking to feel the answers to these questions there is something of our most impassioned essence that leaves us in a state of stillbirth.  We can try some end run around this by focusing on mental pursuits or spiritual bypassing, but the heart will always bring us back to itself.  That is a definitive statement but it just feels true to me.  It has been true for me.  No matter where you go, there you ARE.

As men, we have this inherent need for quest and journey.  For creation and manifestation.  For exploration and expression.  The fire in the hearth of the feminine.  It aches to launch out into the cosmos of the soul with reverence and also abandon.  It will apologize later if it needs to.  There is a wildness that doesn´t follow the rules and seeks to tear them down.  To make bold claims and empowered choices.  The masculine is on a path of fully embodying the sacred pyre and seeking union with its feminine counterpart.  More than twins.  Two separate yet catalytic co-creators.  

This journey begins in the heart.  Lifting and loving those anchors off the propellers so the heart can fly WITH the soul with the body as its vehicle.  It is having a relationship with this aspects of ourselves that mitigates this endeavour of the arising wonder of the sacred masculine.  Who are we in our most enlightened state as we lighten the anchors inside?  I am on this path inside myself daily through the SoulFullHeart Way of Life as the portal to my highest expression.  It has served much growth inside me and desire to serve that to others who are feeling the swirls inside them as well.  The feeling of uncertainty or desire for more heart-centered conversation and expression.  
The men´s group call is a container for Raphael Awen and I, to lead a meditation and discussion into our masculine hearts, our connection to the cosmos, and our desire for love and romance with the queens of our feminine fancy.  It aims to be a great launching pad for our growing desire for community and brotherhood of heart. Both of us so look forward to going on this journey with you.

http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Five Reasons Why It Is Challenging To Set Healthy boundaries

By Jelelle Awen
boundarysetting

The process of boundary setting and perhaps taking space in relationship or breaks is an important one related to our ascension process and arisement of our 5D self as every relationship we are in is an energy exchange. It is a key aspect of growing and arising into our soul self as every energy we engage with is a reflection of us. This process of sorting through relationships and setting and BEing boundaries is an aspect of the transition and awakening into your 4D self.

I feel setting a healthy boundary with someone in a relationship as being about the sense that we can no longer be in relationship with them or we need space from the relationship because it isn’t healthy or self loving for us to remain or because we just don’t have the reSOULance value ground to BE in relationship any longer (even as love remains). A ‘porous’ boundary would be one that is open to being changed if the person changes or if the ground of the relationship becomes healthier through inner healing work, soul awakenings, or shifts and choices that happen.

Every boundary has a door, just as every fence has a gate. Healthy boundary setting can be done with an open heart, with love and compassion for both the person and ourselves, and before the relationship reaches high levels of toxicity or codependency that is harmful to both sides. This is challenging in our culture, however, and most people struggle a lot with this and how to BE with it.

Why is it so challenging to set boundaries with people in relationships, even when the level of abuse and toxicity is obvious to us? There are many possible answers to this question that could be applied in a universal way even as every individual situation is different.

1) One of the reasons it is so challenging to set and BE in healthy boundaries is because most of us received no modeling on how to do or be this with our caregivers AND we weren’t ‘allowed’ to set any boundaries with our families prior to adulthood.

We are such sponges, absorbing all the energies and emotional tones of our families as we grow up. By the time we are teenagers, we are so filled up with these tones and energies that part of us begins to rebel against what we had no choice in absorbing, which is a form of boundary setting. Some of us continue this rebellion until adulthood and eventually our boundary setting with family may end up being a complete push away or break from them for a phase of time or for life. Most of us are not invited to set boundaries with our family members and we wouldn’t anyway because of our food and shelter needs that they provide.

3D conditioning is that we are required to deal with whatever we are given or however we are treated without advocating or defending ourselves and without the opportunity to say, ‘No’. So, we learn how to live with what we inherited and the cost to the expression of our authentic self and the development of the ability to set boundaries out of self love is hugely impacted. Basically, we literally have ‘no idea’ how to set healthy boundaries because we didn’t ‘see’ and ‘learn’ how to do it from our families.

2) This leads into the second reason, which is that we don’t have enough self love or core self worth to lead this navigation of boundary setting. In SoulFullHeart work, core self worth is something that emerges after much processing with the parts of us who don’t find us worthy and yet are tasked with protecting and defending us, such as our inner punisher-critic, our controller-protector, our inner matriarch-patriarch, etc. These parts of us have developed as internal voices and energies inside of us because of the energies and tones we took in from our caregivers.

It is actually an aspect of our self-defense structure to develop these parts of us that keep the messages running that we ‘are not worthy of love’ or ‘are unlovable’ or ‘are crazy’ or whatever the message is. These parts are actually trying to keep us safe by knocking us down first before someone else does (which is what happened in childhood) or before we get too ‘big’ and do unsafe things. I know this sounds strange, but over eleven years of working with people in subpersonality work, I have seen this over and over again. And, of course, I have felt this in myself. Without an innate sense of core self worth and self love, it is very difficult to say ‘no’ to unhealthy frequencies. Saying ‘no’ means that we are saying ‘yes’ to what nourishes us and that we feel that we are worth it.

3) Boundary setting can be challenging because we don’t know which ones to set and which part of us is doing it. Sometimes it can feel like we are setting healthy boundaries because part of us has said ‘no’ to something or a relationship and is shutting it out, but it actually IS necessary for us to go into it or it could lead to our next growth place to go into it. Parts of us (the protector-controller again primarily) actually like saying ‘no!’ but it can be misdirected and misplaced. This part of us can say ‘no’ to people who are trying to help us by no longer enabling us or by bringing us a tough truth that we don’t want to see. Or this part of us can say, ‘no’ to changes that we need to make or tough conversations that we need to have that could bring conflict and more changes. So, this can be a confusing ground to navigate and asking, “Which part of me wants this boundary and why?” is a very important one.

4) Boundary setting can make us look ‘bad’ or ‘not nice.’ For the parts of us that care about our self-image or how others perceive us, it can be very uncomfortable if we are judged by the person (or others) that we are setting the boundary with as mean or not nice. We are so conditioned in our culture around ‘being nice’ and that it is a ‘good thing’…..even as most relationships, if you go deeper, have a layer of toxicity and falseness in them that has nothing to do with being ‘nice’. Many people would rather preserve the self image of being nice even with someone who is NOT nice with them and actually treats them badly. This behavior pattern has usually been strongly modeled by one of our parents or both of them.

5) It’s challenging and nearly impossible to set boundaries with others if we haven’t set them with parts of ourselves. This is a crucial aspect of parts process work: learning when to set a boundary with a part of us when we identify and feel that we don’t want their behavior to continue because it is isn’t self loving. We literally have to set a boundary with them as the 5D arising Higher Self sometimes in order to be ‘bigger’ than the part of us. For example, we feel love for the inner punisher even as we set a boundary with this part of us to stop beating us down with self judgments. Or we have to say ‘no’ to certain things which parts of us use to keep us numb to our deeper feelings. Our growing 4D and 5D self learns to do this in a loving way that is both strong and open. When parts of us feel this energy of healthy boundary setting arise in us, they lean into it. They have been waiting for it our whole lives and parts of us become relieved because finally an ‘adult’ is home to say what is nourishing and healthy and what is not.

Boundary setting transforms relationships, either by closing them down for a period of time or by opening them up to something new. In my experience, both sides benefit from healthy and porous boundary setting, even if one side is leading it (which is usually the case.) Boundary setting doesn’t have to be a ‘one time’ thing in relationships with a dramatic declaration and big fallout, although that is often what happens if it hasn’t been done consistently.

In healthy and authentic relationships, boundary setting is something that is being talked about and negotiated, something that just happens organically and, in an intimate relationship, sometimes several times a day. And, it is porous…meaning it shifts and changes based on the current conditions. It can be porous if both people are working on healing their hearts through subpersonality work and if they are dedicated and committed to serving the LOVE in the relationship. And it feels like in relationships that are mostly based in 5D consciousness frequencies, boundary setting is not even necessary as the Oneness connection and soul ground flows between the relationships in most moments.

Letting go of what doesn’t nourish us in relationships (or in ANY area of our lives), allows us to let in what really DOES….it makes space for more LOVE to arise inside of us and in our lives.

 

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Becoming The NEW 5D Sacred Human. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.

I Am One Inside Of Thee One

one

By Raphael Awen

Everything you could ever want and dream of having is already yours on a very real dimension, in a very real time and place.

Your and my difficulty in seeing that and feeling that to be true is because of the veil of forgetfulness that we, as an act of this infinite power we all possess, chose to enter. We are living out a choice. We needed a sacred journey of deep sleep and awakening. We needed to die to our infinite greatness in order to be reborn to it, and in so doing become somehow more in our new reborn infinity than the infinity we surrendered. A good nights rest changes everything you could say.

The staggering greatness we all possess was so great, that even in our prior aware state, our waking state, there wasn’t enough juice for us to not be afraid of our own bigness.

It’s important to feel here, that we, as individuals are all a part of one great consciousness that we are actually sharing. We have within that one great consciousness, a perpetual and sovereign lease on individuality, but what we experience and feel as personal lack or personal inferiority is actually a part of the one divine consciousness out journeying towards a great awakening.

In this way, divinity itself is coming to terms with its own fears and sense of lack and emptiness. Why would we think that only our positivity is a reflection of our divinity? Let’s hold that question and offer a couple other related and important pieces that will help us see this…

I am sovereignly one. One inside of thee one. Part of me wants to say ‘Don’t come preaching to me a religious sounding oneness crap if you can’t also honour the total uniqueness of being that I am in contrast to you’. This is so important to feel for our awakening process because we are all feeling and healing the one consciousness AS we come to terms with what’s true in our personal consciousness.

When you have fear, worry and anxiety moving through you, the divine is learning its way to returning to awakening. When you are in utter bliss, joy and abundance is washing up on your shores, you are also equally awakening. Now, I, like you, have been trained to value the positive, but this is because of our conditioning and forgetfulness.

When we experience the so called negative, why would we think that these feelings are outside of our overall participation in and with divinity, our godhood?

Nothing is actually in power over us dictating our reality. We sure got busy creating the illusion that the opposite is true, but now at these times of awakening, the only forward momentum or gravitational lift we can find seems to be around coming to terms with our own power.

Hence we gave ourselves a great big self created reality of an absence of our power through this veil of forgetfulness. Now, however, we really do want to awaken fully. Divine oneness created duality, and we best make no mistake, both are now equally true, and in complete harmony. You and I as separate and distinct are one and the same. Both are true. We’re living in 2 worlds. Only as we accept both worlds can either of them be true, and come to blend.

So what now? In this moment of wanting to come to terms with this more and more? I say follow your desire. The word desire literally means ‘of the sire’ meaning something to do with fathering the seed of our most deepest longings into the ground of all being. Sounds wild, but it’s as simple as truly letting our desires out to play.

And herein, we are advised of the great courage it is to want new things and more things so intensely while also feeling so grateful for what we have. We can do this because on this being level, any and every wish we wish for, we are already in possession of that wish. Let both desire and possession and gratitude flow through. Feel it. Feel it. Feel it.

I want to help you feel it if I can. I’m writing these words today out of a desire to seed a new consciousness deeper into myself and others at the same time. If your desire calls you to ask for personal space-holding with me in session space, let’s do it! I want you, I want your money exchange as an authorization of your power to be served by my power,.. I want to inhabit my next steps into this brave new world with you.

Others are available for sessions as well and you can see more here:http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

That Scrambled Self-Image

by Kalayna Colibri

Jens Hesse_sat31_orchids_2011_84x51

Painting: “Orchids” by Jens Hesse

www.jenshesse.com

The battle seeds of “that, not THIS”

are planted deep and early.

They live, embedded, unbroken

for so so long,

watered by the choices they fuel.

These choices WE make

can bring them out to the sun

to be seen, felt and brought to light.

Victims to their siren call, we are NOT

as we continue to choose to listen

instead of feel…

 

Who and what we are told to be,

those who tell us are telling themselves,

and we in turn keep telling OURselves.

We poke, pull, prod

at those aspects we painfully, straining

excessively work to change,

not letting in the beauty

we are and were ALWAYS

intended to be a part of.

 

This woven fabric of our lives

becomes a threadbare tapestry

of power-filled lies

we tell ourselves in each moment

we don’t feel ourselves deeper…

The mirror of life

shows us where to go inside

invites us to be with others

to see a reflection

for what to heal next…

to find our deeper self

who knows

just kNOWs…

who we really are,

what we are really worth,

and that no one

EVER

has had ANY real say

in what that ACTUALLY means…

 

There is so much,

too much

pain.

From us to us,

NOT just them to us…

There is a lot

buried deep

we are digging up now…

bringing forward now,

being felt in now…

if we can take that next step.

Ask for support.

Say YES to love,

starting with OURSELVES

and those seeds we’ve grown inside us

that need that love

to remember

that this is what they were made of in the first place.

 

Let that light of your inside heart-shine

glow in your deepest feeling place desires.

Those ones that don’t beckon

to your image-based ticks and jabs

but instead

show you who

what

you really, mostly deeply

ARE…

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com