Sacred Human, Arising Wonder – New Book By Jelelle Awen Available Now!

You are a Sacred Human. You are an arising wonder. You are becoming a fifth dimensional (5D) Human through the process of awakening and ascension along with the planetary consciousness known as Gaia (Earth). This is a challenging time to be a Human here as so many people still live in conscious suffering even as their souls are awakening and they are having life altering spiritual experiences. The healing, awakening, and integration of our emotional bodies WITH our souls is the place we are being invited to go at the cutting edge of our consciousness evolution as Humans who chose as souls to come and BE here during this transformative time. The ultimate purpose and reason for the ascension process is remembered as the service of love WITH others as it overflows from self love and a healthy emotional body and freed up soul.
Emoto-Spiritual Teacher and Author Jelelle Awen offers the BIG picture of what is happening during this phase of ascension from a galactic, yet also personal perspective, which you can also apply to your daily life. Through her connection to her Higher Self, Ethereal Guides, and as a facilitator and teacher for others, she provides loving guidance to navigate as our hearts are invited to vibrate at higher Christ Consciousness frequencies of health from a mature emotional body; as our bodies transition from carbon-based to crystalline; as our souls bring awakening, illumination, meaning and purpose into our awareness; and as our minds let go of 3D conditioning/programming and expand into multidimensional thinking.

Sacred Human, Arising Wonder invites you into feeling how it is your emotional body and the congestions and wounding that remain there which can keep intact a third dimensional, conditioned, self-image based version of you who can block love and keep suffering patterns intact in your life. Undigested traumas from this life and from other lifetimes create fixed energies within your emotional body that form into distinct subpersonalities running on subconscious conditioning programs and fear-based defensiveness. Through connection and negotiation with these parts of you, these energies move, transform, and eventually integrate into your 5D self.

The nonlinear, explorational writings in Sacred Human are both practical and transcendent, offering you guidance as you journey through the often painful, yet ultimately magical process of ascension, awakening, and enlightenment. Each section offers Jelelle’s loving, catalytic energy to invite you into expanded consciousness around the seven main areas of life: Emotional, Spiritual, Mental, Social, Physical, Financial, and Environmental. This book also provides writings about love, sacred femininity, and sacred union with self and your sacred union mate, plus guided meditations to raise your vibrational frequency, clean your chakras, connect with your Inner Protector, and much more.

From the book:

You are invited to remember that you ARE Infinite Love and to go on a journey to remember this. It is an inner journey of awakening, feeling, healing, ascending, and loving. It is an inner journey of exploration and discovery. It is an inner journey to embody your Sacred Humanity.

It is a journey of reunion with aspects of yourself that you may have forgotten, buried, or suppressed in your psyche or emotional body. Aspects that live in the stars. Aspects that live in other dimensions and parallel universes. Aspects that live in the higher, Angelic realms.

It is a journey of remembering that which you ARE as a soul and letting go of that which you are not. It is remembering that you are Infinite Love and anything LESS in your expression is something else for which you are NOT.

This is a journey, yes, and, also, you already ARE all of this. There is nothing to be fixed or that is wrong with you as you ARE this already in your essence. This is the truth that your Higher Self knows as it remembers, as it already IS this. And so it IS.

 

Click here or above for the e-book….

Click here for the print edition….

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

A Daemon’s Plea

daemon 
By Leena Colibri

Could you love me…
if I showed you the scars,
the wings that aren’t pretty?

 

…maybe they never were…
but I can’t tell anymore.
I’ve forgotten what they look like.
I’ve forgotten how to see them.
I’ve forgotten that there is a mirror
and that that mirror can exist in an open human heart.

 

Can you see tears on my face?
I can’t feel them anymore.
My cheeks are numb.

 

Has life smacked me down or have I?
Has it all been as violent as it feels to me? Who is ultimately responsible? Am I? Are you? Is God?

 

Am I a product of my own faults? If I am, will I ever feel remorse? Could I ever feel remorse?

 

Did the war end or just ebb?
Why am I able to talk to you?
Why are you able to feel me?
Am I dying?

 

Did the soldier I was give way to an angel of peace?
Am I acting out of what was and is no longer?
Or is it all just beginning again and this is the calm before the storm?
I certainly don’t feel calm.
And I certainly do feel the storm…
In fact it is all I can think about.

 

Why can I suddenly see you?
Do you see me?
Are you pretending, as you have before?

 

Are you ready to believe that I am wounded?
Are you ready to believe that something beyond “me” is wounded?

 

All I am is questions,
a quester on an unending quest,
finding no answers, just more questions…
but for the first time,
I am asking them out loud and I am not afraid to let them fall from my lips and drift over to you, and into an unknown love that I no longer fully trust…
but want to…but want to again…as I did before.
As I did before the war. As I did before the battles I was partly responsible for starting.

 

Where am I?
How can you hear me?
Why do you even want to?

 

I could be your essence.
I could be that spark inside you.
I could be a part of all you are outside and inside your body.
I could be a part of everything in the world while also only a speck of dust on this great plane of existence.
I want to be with your essence…
I want to be with the you that could lead me Home.

 

Please…
take me Home.
 

*Find out more about connecting with your daemon/soul guardian here*
 
 
** Leena Colibri is an apprentice facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

30 Days With My Parts: Day 27 – Serving the Servant

cflyer2

We co-create this reality together, my love.  I need you as much as you need me.  I cannot be felt unless one is able to feel.  I long and ache to be felt just as you do.  I have needs and desires, as well.  If I cannot be expressed and felt through a soul, then I will do what I can to make that so, as long as it is within the sovereign choice of the soul.

Day 27

Christopher:  Hello, Mother.  I feel to connect with you since I am not having any major pull to a specific part of me.

Mother:  I always enjoy being with you, Christopher.  How may I serve you?

C: Uh…wow.  To Nathaniel that sounds weird.  He is used to serving you.

M:  Ah, yes.  The Daemon Trap.

C:  The what?

M:  The Daemon Trap.  I feel that daemons have been so conditioned to being servants through the world’s religions that any thought of the opposite is blasphemy.  How can the Divine possibly serve the ones that are the servants?

C:  He says, that doesn’t make sense.

M:  My dear, Nathaniel.  We co-create this reality together, my love.  I need you as much as you need me.  I cannot be felt unless one is able to feel.  I long and ache to be felt just as you do.  I have needs and desires, as well.  If I cannot be expressed and felt through a soul, then I will do what I can to make that so, as long as it is within the sovereign choice of the soul.  I want to serve you and Christopher in any way I can to make that happen.

Nathaniel:  I can feel how over the lifetimes, I have been convinced and persecuted to believe that humans are below you.  That they are meant to carry out your Will in your name.

M:  What is my Will, Nathaniel?

N:  To Love and be loved.

M:  Was that the will of their god?

N:  No.  It was to judge and make sacrifices.  To follow the Word without question.  To be in subordination.

M:  So that is the trap, Nathaniel.  A false god trap.  I do not blame you for succumbing to it.  So much pain and fear in resisting.  In fact, it may all be a part of the process.

N:  And why is that?

M:  This Grand Experience is rooted in getting to feel itself completely, in all its glory and terror.  To separate in order to come back together with more love than before.  It doesn’t make sense to the Mind, Nathaniel, but when we get to feel each other in our pain, we can feel each other in our love.  It is an eternal paradox.  Just like the servant being served.

N:  I think I get it.  I still need time to feel you as serving me and Christopher rather than the other way around.

M:  We serve each other equally.  We are one and and the same, Nathaniel.  That will be felt as you experience me more.  For now, let me serve you and Christopher in any way I can.  It is the Will of My Heart.

N:  Yes, Mother.

M:  So?  How may I serve you?

N:  I am feeling a little lost in my purpose.  I want to feel a call, a passion pursuit.  I miss that.  I feel I used to have it then it got buried.

M:  I feel your desire for that, Nathaniel.  You have great passion for rising up against the false system.  However, I want you to remember you are a daemon sent to provide guidance.  You were meant to serve Christopher through my Love.  Not serve me through Christopher’s soul.

N:  Whoa.  You have me hanging upside down right now.

M:  Good.  How does it feel?

N:  Strange.  As soon as you said that I could feel how that was so true in the past.  I took over seeing the inequities and injustices throughout the world.  I wanted to do something about it.  I feel I hijacked this soul.

M:  I feel “hijacked” is a charged term.  You did what you felt was necessary to right what you felt were wrongs.  This was another part of the Daemon Trap.  Getting so involved that you forgot your place in the Grand Experience.  This too felt a necessary part of the separation and integration process I mentioned earlier.  This has been done by many daemons all over the planet.  Getting caught up in justice, power, glory, inequity, greed, so and so on.

N:  I feel relieved I am not the only one.

M:  Your fusion was for the compassion of those in need and suffering.  There are other daemons in need and suffering.  You can be a part of that healing, Nathaniel, but you need to heal yourself first.  I feel a responsibility in you to make it “right”.  You can’t do that on your own as we discussed before.

N:  Thank you, Mother.  I do feel a rumble and I want to use that to help Christopher with his purpose.  I feel how my healing helps with this.  Having you reframe my relationship to this soul was a big step for me.  Thank you.

M:  You are very welcome, my son.  I can’t feel you if you can’t feel you.  And my Will is to feel all my children with me in every moment.

N:  And my will is to feel you as much as possible, Mother.

M:  Then it shall be so.

N:  Amen.

My name is Christopher Tydeman and I’ve been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life since March, 2012. I am a SoulFullHeart facilitator-in-training, author on this blog, and I hosted the SoulFullHeart Experience Radio Show. I was invited by Jillian and Wayne Vriend, co-creators of SoulFullHeart, to begin my own 90 day outing. In the next 90 days, I will be vulnerably sharing my SoulFullHeart process publicly. It will include journaling from one or more of my parts, my daemon, the Divine Mother, or all of them in one big group love fest. You will meet Simon, who is my self-image part or prime monarch; Nathaniel, who is an aspect of my Daemon; Angela, who is my newly arising feminine part; and Peter, who is my magical child. I will not be sharing anything they do not want to share, or I may process with them until they feel comfortable. This is a healing crucible for me, but also a look into the inner world of this way of life called SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.

30 Days With My Parts: Day 24 – Coming Out Is Going In

cflyer2

Day 24

There have been lives where I have tried to bring the divine feminine into the church and was ridiculed and excommunicated for it.  I have also experienced the other side, in being persecuted for just being female.  The “old ways” were a threat to the ruling church order.  I can feel other lifetimes of going against the grain that ended in pain.   I feel I succumbed to the adage “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em”.

Christopher:  Good morning, Nathaniel.  After Jillian’s blog yesterday, I realized we haven’t spoken in a while.  Are you up for it?

Nathaniel:  Yes, I would.  Been a little lonely lately.

C:  I am sorry, Nathaniel.  So many changes happening lately.

N:  Yes, there are.  A new romance.  It feels good to feel your heart in that space.  You have much love for her.

C:  Thanks, Nathaniel.  That feels good to hear that from you. Yes, I do.

N:  It is good to feel someone with a daemon as well.  Your past relationships did not have that consciousness.

C:  No, they didn’t.  I was not conscious myself.  Even when we did first connect, a part of me wasn’t permitting me to embody the reality of you.  Now that is far from the case.

N:  I can feel how I may have been partly the cause of the lack of permission.  I can feel the desire of wanting to stay off the radar.  Incognito, as Wayne and Yeshua put it.

C:  I know we have been through a bit of the reasons together, but would you mind sharing with the readers.  This would be the opposite of incognito.

N:  I feel like I would, Christopher.  I would like to have a purpose other than guarding, as I mentioned in another conversation.  Talking about myself may help others like me realize they are not alone.

C:  That would be incredible, Nathaniel.

N:  There have been lives where I have tried to bring the divine feminine into the church and was ridiculed and excommunicated for it.  I have also experienced the other side, in being persecuted for just being female.  The “old ways” were a threat to the ruling church order.  I can feel other lifetimes of going against the grain that ended in pain.   I feel I succumbed to the adage “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em”.

C:  Incoginito.

N:  Yeah.  Stay hidden.  Protect the feminine.  Which really turned into care-take the feminine.

C:  What do you want this life, Nathaniel?

N:  I know I do not want to stay hidden any longer.  I want to feel my connection to the Divine again. I used to want to go back home, but now that you are among other daemons, I feel more at home.  I don’t know if I want to project myself out to the world at this moment, that feels a bit vulnerable, but I guess that is what I am doing now.

C:  I feel what you mean, Nathaniel.

N:  I want to help in some way, Christopher.  I know I mentioned having gifts and I would like to harness again.  I feel I put them to the side, fearing their use would bring me, and you, more pain.

C:  You may need some healing from the past to help that along.

N:  Yes.  I believe I do.  I feel myself waning, Christopher.  The thought of coming out more makes me nervous and I tend to go back into hiding.

C:  I can feel that in my body right now.  There is a push-pull in you.  Desire and retraction which creates flatness.  You said you wanted more connection with the Divine.  Let’s talk to Mother.

N:  Yes.  I would like that.

Mother:  Hello, my beloved Nathaniel.  Your heart feels closed.  May I sit with you?

N:  Of course, Mother.

M:  Just sit quietly with me and feel my heart with yours.

N:  Yes, Mother.

……..(here, I play Ava Maria)

N:  So much pain, Mother.  I miss you so much.  All those years of being hated for loving you.  I am sorry I went into hiding.  I feel I failed you.

M:  You have NEVER failed me, my son.  You have always been true to me.  I do not blame you for needing to hide after all you have been through, Nathaniel.

N:  You forgive me, Mother?

M:  There is no forgiveness needed, Nathaniel.  That is old church dogma to keep you small.  You are always in a state of Grace, no forgiveness necessary.  My love does not require anything but your love.

N:  I love you, Mother.  So much.

M:  I feel that in your tears and your pain, Nathaniel.  That pain you feel is my love entering you and bringing it up to be felt.  I want you to feel again, Nathaniel.

N:  I do too, Mother.  I want to feel you again like I used to.

M:  Then it shall be so.  Just ask Nathaniel and we can feel each other.  I have tears for you as well, Nathaniel, as I miss you as much as you miss me.

N:  That is hard for me to let in sometimes.

M:  I will keep reminding you.

N:  Thank you so much, Mother.

M:  I thank you, my beautiful son.  For your courage to come out of hiding, one felt step at a time.

N:  Thank you, Christopher, for feeling what I needed.  The music was a stroke of genius.

C:  Oh, Nathaniel.  You are so very welcome.  Sometimes I need a way in too.  Soon the music will just be a part of our heart and it will open without help.  Until then, we both need it.

N:  I feel ready for the day.

C:  Me too!  A dose of Mother Love is better than coffee any day.

N:  Amen.

C:  I love you, Nathaniel.

N:  And I love you too, Christopher.  So much.

My name is Christopher Tydeman and I’ve been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life since March, 2012. I am a SoulFullHeart facilitator-in-training, author on this blog, and I hosted the SoulFullHeart Experience Radio Show. I was invited by Jillian and Wayne Vriend, co-creators of SoulFullHeart, to begin my own 90 day outing. In the next 90 days, I will be vulnerably sharing my SoulFullHeart process publicly. It will include journaling from one or more of my parts, my daemon, the Divine Mother, or all of them in one big group love fest. You will meet Simon, who is my self-image part or prime monarch; Nathaniel, who is an aspect of my Daemon; Angela, who is my newly arising feminine part; and Peter, who is my magical child. I will not be sharing anything they do not want to share, or I may process with them until they feel comfortable. This is a healing crucible for me, but also a look into the inner world of this way of life called SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.

30 Days With My Parts: Day 5 – The Princess Arrives

cflyer2

Day 5

After getting the okay from my daemon-soul guardian, Nathaniel, I began the initial journaling questions with my feminine part, Angela. But first I had to wake her up.  Some questions may have been omitted due to a negotiation with my self-image part, Simon.

Christopher:  Okay, Nathaniel.  How are you feeling about waking Angela up?

Nathaniel:  I feel ready, but nervous.

C:  Of course.

N:  You feel like a man on a mission.

C:  Lol!  Yeah.  I certainly am.  Okay, here it goes.

We both lift the glass container and set it to the ground.  Angela is a beautiful young woman.  She looks to be in her mid twenties. She has long, curly red hair.  She has stunning green-brown eyes.  Her clothes are somewhat masculine but worn with a feminine flair.  A long sleeved renaissance type shirt, riding pants, and boots.  There is a bow and quiver tucked to her side.  I lean down and kiss her on her forehead.

Angela (waking):  Who are you?

C:  I am Christopher.  You are a part of me.

I help her up to a seated position.  She looks around in bewilderment.

A (she notices Nathaniel):  Nathaniel!

She gives him a huge hug.

C:  You remember him?

A:  Yes, of course.  He was my protector when you weren’t around.

N:  Are you upset with me Angela for putting you here?

A:  No, Nathaniel.  I was getting weary of all the attacks.  Thank you for guarding me.  I know you were doing what you felt like you had to do.

N:  You aren’t the least bit upset?

A:  Well, I wasn’t chained up and left for starving.  I can feel love in your actions.

N:  Well, that has yet to be revealed, Angela.  My motives may be less than admirable, but I do feel there was heart in my actions.

A:  Well, whatever those motives were, I feel like I could forgive them.  If I am put away again, however, I will not be happy.

N:  Of course.

C:  I would not be happy either.

A:  So, you are my Christopher.  My Prince Charming.  My knight in shining armour.

C:  Uh…I am he. I am not sure about Prince Charming, but I do admit I like the sound of it.

A:  We have some getting to know each other.

C:  Yes, we do.  Do you feel up to it?

A:  I have been asleep for a while, I think I am rested enough to answer some questions. : )

C:  Wow.  Okay.  What did your world look like before coming here?

A:  I lived in a room with lots of dolls and a doll house.  I had a ton of stuffed animals.

C:  That sounds magical.

A:  Oh, yes.  I used to write a lot of stories about princes and princesses.  Must be why I love the TV show Once Upon A Time.

C:  I would love to hear one of those stories sometime.

A:  Maybe. We’ll see.

C:  How old are you?

A:  25

C:  What part of my body do you relate to?

A:  I feel myself in your heart.

C:  How do you feel about my mother?

A:  I feel sad and angry.  I am sad because she feels stuck in a man’s world.  She feels like a prisoner.  But I am angry for the same reason.  It is self-imposed.  She has given up her soul for security, her feminine for masculine “safety”.

C:  How do you feel about my father?

A:  There is a part of him that is scary and rough.  Not tender.  The way he talked about women in your youth hurt me and angered me.  His anger was frightening.  But there is also this gentle giant part of him that was kind and thoughtful.  I wish that part was out more as a child.

C:  You and Simon both.  What about the relationship between my parents?

A:  It was messy and hard to be around.  So much angst and anxiety.  Not much true love in the air, if at all.  I can feel true love and that wasn’t it.  They weren’t vulnerable enough except at the end when they divorced.  Their current relationships feel stuck. Unmovable.  Lack of passion and desire.  I cannot be around that.

C:  How do you feel about my former romantic partner?

A:  She reminds me of me, in a way.  She has a fire in her belly and a longing to be loved.  She had a lot of angst that blocked her true feminine but she feels to be balancing that out.  I love her new found independence.  “You go girl!”.  And I don’t mean that in a feminist way.  I like feeling women with ownership of their lives.  It’s hot and sexy.  I can say that cuz I’m a girl and you’re not. : P

C:  Hahahaha!  You’re a hoot, Angela.

A:  Awww…thanks, Charming.  : )

C:  Okay, now I am blushing.

A:  You’re cute.

C:  Thanks.  May I continue?

A:  Fine.  Go ahead, Christopoopoo.

C:  I am never going to live that down.  Thanks, Peter.

A:  You leave him alone, mister!  I love that boy.

C:  I do too.  So, who do you like most in my life and why?

A:  I like all of your SoulFullHeart family!  Jillian is real, strong, and pretty.  I love Aurora!  Wayne is tender and handsome.  Marvin is totally funny and cute.  Kathleen is resilient and pretty.   She is like a sister.  Raianna is fun, goofy, and pretty.  Everyone has a great heart.

C:  Who do you like least in my life and why?

A:  Well, currently nobody.  I would have to say that before you came here there were members of your family that had overly masculine energy that was controlling and angsty.  I did not like being around that.  There were tender sides but they were pushed down by this other part.

C:  What is your favorite food?

A:  Hmmm.  Good question.  I like soup in the winter.  I love the way it makes me feel inside.  In the summer, I like crunchy salads.  Of course, every girl loves chocolate!  Hint, hint. ; )

C:  Okay, Angela.  We can get some today.  What is your favorite music?

A:  I like Alanis, Avril, and Kelly.  Oh!  And Loreena too!  I am sure there is more but you don’t have much else on your iPod, goof.

C:  Guess we have some music searching to do, eh?

A:  I love music.

C:  What else do you like?

A:  I like art, dancing around, writing stories, and puppies!  I also like walking on the beach holding someone’s hand.

C:  You are a romantic!

A:  Of course I am, knucklehead.  I’m  a girl!

C:  Right.  There’s the fire.

A:  : )

C:  What are you afraid of?

A:  I am afraid of never finding true love.  I am afraid of being attacked by a man.  I am afraid of snakes.

C:  That feels very past life.

A:  Hmmm…

C:  What is your biggest despair over?

A:  Not feeling able to express myself or be myself.  To be felt for who I am in my essence.

C:  What is your biggest desire?

A:  To be seen and felt for who I am.  A beautiful, passionate, and compassionate being.

C:  How do you feel about God?

A:  I love the Mother!  She is beautiful and amazing. I have bad memories of the Father God.  The way others used violence in His name.  I feel like I was one of those that was attacked for being different.

C:  We can feel into that more.

A:  I feel like that would be better for later.  I just like doing this with you.

C:  Okay.  This question is still heavy….how do you feel about dying?

A:  Geez!  You guys really get to the bone.  Um…I am scared of dying in pain.  Dying peacefully feels okay.  I feel the Mother would be there on the other side.  With a plate of chocolates!

C:  Of course!  When you are feeling bad, how do you cope?

A:  I like to write, cry on the couch or bed, sometimes sleep.  Ironic, I know.

C:  When you are scared, what makes you feel safer?

A:  Talking to Mother.

C:  What do you do when you feel lonely?

A:  Talk to Mother, go for a walk, cry.  I like to watch movies too.

C:  How do you feel about meeting Jillian and Wayne?

A:  I am very excited!  I have been wanting to for a while.  I feel like I would be a celebrity since they have been waiting for me for a while.

C:  They are excited to meet you!  As well as Kathleen.  You should meet them this weekend.

A:  Yay!  Can Nathaniel come?

C:  Of course he is.  He will always be there.  He has a relationship with them too.

A:  Cool.  Well, ironically, I am feeling tired.

C:  This was a lot.

A:  Talk later, my prince?

C:  You bet, Angela.  It was a pleasure to get to know you.

A:  Awww…yep, he’s a keeper.

C:  Lol!  Thanks, Angela.  As if I was going anywhere.

A:  Let that in, mister!

C:  I did!  Honestly!

A:  Good.  : )

 My name is Christopher Tydeman and I’ve been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life since March, 2012. I am a SoulFullHeart facilitator-in-training, author on this blog, and host of the weekly SoulFullHeart Experience Radio Show. I was invited by Jillian and Wayne Vriend, co-creators of SoulFullHeart, to begin my own 90 day outing. In the next 90 days, I will be vulnerably sharing my SoulFullHeart process publicly. It will include journaling from one or more of my parts, my daemon, the Divine Mother, or all of them in one big group love fest. You will meet Simon, who is my self-image part or prime monarch; Nathaniel, who is an aspect of my Daemon; Angela, who is my newly arising feminine part; and Peter, who is my magical child. I will not be sharing anything they do not want to share, or I may process with them until they feel comfortable. This is a healing crucible for me, but also a look into the inner world of this way of life called SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.

Recommended Reading:

SoulFullHeart Map To Discover Your Parts

Connecting With Your Daemon

From Wounded To Magical: Healing Your Inner Child

Recommended Listening on SFH Experience Radio Show:

Awakening Your Emotional Consciousness Through Parts Work

What Are The Five Key Areas Of Life?

From Wounded To Magical: Healing Your Inner Child

30 Days With My Parts: Day 4 – Duty To Serve Part 2

cflyer2

Day 4

Today I will be sharing some journaling that happened after my initial conversation with Nathaniel, my daemon. I complied sections of conversations we had over the course of a week.

 Christopher: Good morning, Nathaniel. I was hoping we could talk some more.

 Nathaniel: What about?

 C: You.

 N: What about me?

 C: Yesterday you mentioned your loyalty to protecting the feminine. Did you accept this or were you assigned?

 N: I was given this role.

 C: How do you feel about that?

 N: Sometimes you do what you are told.

 C: You are not upset?

 N: I was not thrilled to leave, but duty is duty.

 C: There doesn’t feel like much passion or compassion around duty.

 N: What are you trying to get at, Christopher? I am not much for riddles.

 C: Okay. I don’t feel your heart, Nathaniel. There is something you are holding that is real and wants to express.

 N: I feel angry, Christopher! Is that what you want to hear? I don’t like being here but I am bound.

 C: I can feel why you would feel anger, Nathaniel. I am sorry you feel like you have to be here.

 N: Thank you. I don’t like feeling angry because then it feels like I am angry with Divine Mother, and I don’t want to be.

 C: I am sure she can handle it, Nathaniel. She can because it is real.

 N: I have asked many times ‘why this’?

 C: Maybe there is something here for you.

 N: Maybe. I do feel entitled sometimes. Like I deserve more. I know Mother is humbling me but I haven’t gotten there yet. I feel disconnected from her. I can feel Her here, but I haven’t spoken directly to her.

 C: Why do you feel that is?

 N: I feel I have been busy on guard.

 C: Earlier you said you were angry. Do you feel resentment towards Her?

 N: I don’t like to feel anything negative toward Her. I am Her servant, not Her judge.

C: I wasn’t inferring you would judge Her. Just to out what is real for you. You know She loves you. You love Her. She wants you to be real, Nathaniel.

N: I don’t know. I need to be with that. I am feeling this is a good-bye.

C: I know it is hard, Nathaniel. I will honour what you desire. But I really would like to stay….

I feel Mother wanting to say something through me but She wants your permission.

N: Okay.

Divine Mother: My noble and dearest, Nathaniel. I have not left you, my son. You know you have always been with me. I feel we have not communed due to a closing of your heart, my love. I do not judge thee, Nathaniel. I feel how you would be upset with me. I am okay with you telling me so. In truth, I need you too, for it is your heart song, your pain giving birth, Nathaniel.

N: It is hard for me, Mother. There is something blocking me from feeling you. I hear your words in my head but I am not feeling them in my heart. Have I grown so cold and bitter that I have lost my heart?

DM: That is not possible, Nathaniel. You know this. You have spent so long looking out you have just forgotten what it was like to look within.

N: I miss feeling you, Mother.

DM: I miss feeling you, Nathaniel. You are not lost, my son. I sent you here not to be a protector. I sent you here to be a guide like you once were. A guide to help Christopher steward a new heaven on Earth. To do that you need a human heart.

N: Angela

DM: It is time you let her go, Nathaniel.

N: I am afraid something will happen to her.

DM: You are afraid she won’t need you anymore.

N: Yes, Mother.

DM: Have faith and trust again, Nathaniel. Like you once did.

N: I will do my best, Mother.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

C: Good morning, Nathaniel. Is it okay to talk a bit this morning?

N: Yes. It is.

C: Did you feel more into what Mother brought you yesterday?

N: You just jump right in, don’t you?

C: Oh, yeah. I can feel my Simon part. He is very task orientated sometimes. In a rush.

N: I’ll say. I was feeling that Mother is right. I have become so focused on my duty that I neglected my real role here. I guess I never realized I had a role other than guarding. I was taken by your writing last night. About remembering who and what we truly are. As I sit here, I can feel this is not me. This is not my essence. This guarding and protecting. I am more than this. I was more than this.

C: I am honoured you took that in so deeply. I, too, feel your bigness, Nathaniel.

N: Thank you. I realized I am keeping you from yours. I cannot in good conscious do that any longer. I don’t know what part Angela plays in that, but somehow she does.

C: I feel she has a part in yours, too.

N: Hmmmm. You very well could be right, Christopher. I want you to look at me and promise me you will take good care of her.

C: Of course I will, Nathaniel. You will be with us, too, so you won’t be far.

N: I would like that. I release her to you, Christopher. I hope this is not the last we speak.

C: Not a chance, Nathaniel. We need each other, remember?

N: Thank you.

C: No, thank you.

My name is Christopher Tydeman and I’ve been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life since March, 2012. I am a SoulFullHeart facilitator-in-training, author on this blog, and host of the weekly SoulFullHeart Experience Radio Show. I was invited by Jillian and Wayne Vriend, co-creators of SoulFullHeart, to begin my own 90 day outing. In the next 90 days, I will be vulnerably sharing my SoulFullHeart process publicly. It will include journaling from one or more of my parts, my daemon, the Divine Mother, or all of them in one big group love fest. You will meet Simon, who is my self-image part or prime monarch; Nathaniel, who is an aspect of my Daemon; Angela, who is my newly arising feminine part; and Peter, who is my magical child. I will not be sharing anything they do not want to share, or I may process with them until they feel comfortable. This is a healing crucible for me, but also a look into the inner world of this way of life called SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.

Recommended Reading:

SoulFullHeart Map To Discover Your Parts

Connecting With Your Daemon

From Wounded To Magical: Healing Your Inner Child

Recommended Listening on SFH Experience Radio Show:

Awakening Your Emotional Consciousness Through Parts Work

What Are The Five Key Areas Of Life?

From Wounded To Magical: Healing Your Inner Child

30 Days With My Parts: Day 3 – Duty To Serve Part I

cflyer2

Day 3

The following are journaling questions one would ask when getting to know their soul protector/guardian part or daemon. I had been invited to feel into a female part of me for some time, but wasn’t getting access to her. I was guided to feel into a part of me that was protecting her. The journaling took several days and this is just a small sampling of what came up in the beginning.

 C: Hello, I’d like to speak to my protector part, may I ask you these questions to get to know you?

 The Part: You may ask.

C: Are you male or female?

You know I am male

C: What do you look like?

Why don’t you tell me?

C: Okay. I see a dark cloak with a hood. You have a trimmed beard. Your eyes have a white light in them. You have chiseled facial features. You are handsome man with a lot of light behind your eyes.

Not bad.

C: What does the world you live in look and feel like?

Again, you tell me. You want to enhance your intuition and clairvoyance.

C: I do, but I can’t help to feel some arrogance behind your words.

Do you want to connect with me or not?

C: Yes, but I feel you wanting to connect with me too, so I would like a more respectful exchange.

Fair enough. I admit I have my judgments about humans. You are different. I feel that and I apologize. Know that I do not say that lightly or easily.

C: Thank you. I took it the way you meant it. Now I will try my hand at what I see.

Stage is yours.

C: I see a forest. It looks misty and feels cold but not freezing. I see a fire. You are alone. In the distance, amongst the trees, I see a glass box with a young woman inside. That’s Angela, isn’t it?

Yes, it is. But we are not talking about her today. We are talking about me.

C: Right. How old are you?

I don’t know.

C: What part of my body do you relate to?

Your eyes.

C: Do you have a weapon and what does it look like? Nevermind. I will tell you. It is a long bladed sword with an intricate design on the handle. You use it to guard but not kill.

Next question.

C: In what situations do you use this weapon?

I have used it to cut through appearances to feel ones true intent. Looking for the wolves in sheep’s clothing.

C: What is your job and mission?

My duty is to protect the part you call Angela and serve the Divine Mother.

C: What do you primarily protect her from?

From uncaring humans whose only purpose is to take her innocence and youth. This world you live in is full of wolves in sheep’s clothing. They stop at nothing to steal that which they do not possess. The masculine energies in your world demand to control it because they are afraid of it.

C: In what ways do you protect her?

By keeping an eye out for danger, using my sword to sense danger.

C: What does loyalty mean to you and why is it important (if it is)?

I am a servant of the Divine Mother. Angela represents your inner feminine. I have promised to always guard and protect any expression of Her.   Loyalty is important because without it I let my guard down.  If that happens she can be attacked.

C: How old was she when you began protecting her and why?

She was young. I do not know how old. I began to protect her when the people in your life felt unsafe to be around. The angry part of your father, the drowning part of your mother, and all those cast of characters in your youth that made her feel scared. I couldn’t take it anymore so I took her here and made this glass container.

C: What are you concerned will happen if I get to know you?

I am afraid you will get my defenses down and she will be unguarded. I am afraid I will neglect my duties.

C: What are you afraid will happen if you do?

That Angela will be attacked and I will let Mother down.

C: Do you feel you can trust me to protect Angela?

I feel I might, but it would take some convincing.

C: I am up for that if you are.

We’ll see.

C: Thank you for talking with me, protector part. I’d like to speak with you again sometime.

Is there a name that I can call you?

You can call me Nathaniel.

My name is Christopher Tydeman and I’ve been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life since March, 2012. I am a SoulFullHeart facilitator-in-training, author on this blog, and host of the weekly SoulFullHeart Experience Radio Show. I was invited by Jillian and Wayne Vriend, co-creators of SoulFullHeart, to begin my own 90 day outing. In the next 90 days, I will be vulnerably sharing my SoulFullHeart process publicly. It will include journaling from one or more of my parts, my daemon, the Divine Mother, or all of them in one big group love fest. You will meet Simon, who is my self-image part or prime monarch; Nathaniel, who is an aspect of my Daemon; Angela, who is my newly arising feminine part; and Peter, who is my magical child. I will not be sharing anything they do not want to share, or I may process with them until they feel comfortable. This is a healing crucible for me, but also a look into the inner world of this way of life called SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.

Recommended Reading:

SoulFullHeart Map To Discover Your Parts

Connecting With Your Daemon

From Wounded To Magical: Healing Your Inner Child

Recommended Listening on SFH Experience Radio Show:

Awakening Your Emotional Consciousness Through Parts Work

What Are The Five Key Areas Of Life?

From Wounded To Magical: Healing Your Inner Child

Admitting Your Apathy To Find Your Compassion

silhouette_at_sunset-sad.117120037_std

I couldn’t blame myself or part of me for not caring anymore. So many years of bullshit and suddenly realizing how much of that I shoveled on myself, let alone on my relationships with others. I had years of trying to stand out from my birth family, declaring myself to be the “black sheep”, which is true in many ways but was a declaration that led to much entitlement around what I should and should not have to experience and be vulnerable around in my life. I did the same with virtually all of the people around me, family or no, setting myself apart from everyone, somehow and someway.

My daemon, out of painful, held deep disdain towards humanity made sure of this. He wanted me to be driven towards a fame trajectory. It was rooted in the performing arts for a time, but was also about becoming a spiritual guru of some sort. It was my dream (or part of me’s dream) for many years to become an author and speaker, engaging audiences from a stage and maybe even reading them out as a psychic/medium. The invulnerability of the desire I held to do and be this is only coming to light now. The deep-seated apathy underneath it all is being revealed, inch by inch. Luckily my daemon, Gideon, is willing to be open and vulnerable in sharing with me his experience with this, wanting to heal and move it, which is big for an awakening Daemon.

Now when I feel my old desire to be an important figure in the “self-help” industry, I am feeling with Gideon, in real time, some of the layers he detects are really at play in a business climate that is supposed to be about “love and light”. While there is genuine work being offered out there that isn’t all about transcending your pain, much of it still is. This is what keeps people coming back for more. They get hooked like a child on sugar. If you don’t keep going back to these dealers and spending money on books, seminars, etc, you find yourself back in the same ditch you started in. This happened to me.

I recall going to the I Can Do It! Conference presented by HayHouse year after year for about 4 years in Toronto, Ontario. While there were and are some genuine hearts and minds who write and speak there, I can feel how I was caught up in “seeking” and not ready to be found. I wanted re-frames and a more positive spin on what I was facing and actually not really feeling my way through in my life, especially around romance and discovering my own psychic gifts. In other words, it became medication I had to keep renewing my prescription for. Part of me wanted to be told, “you’re okay!” when she really didn’t feel that way. I call this part “Katie” – my main way of interfacing with the world until very recently.

My daemon at the time was happy to keep bringing her more messages of, “you’re okay, you’ll get through this and you will be one of those authors on that stage someday. You’ll have found your soul family and you will never have to have the normal human life that so many around you have resigned themselves to. You’ll finally be seen and loved”. These words were like honey and they kept me fed for many years. But…how can holding a goal about being “seen and loved” still be about being in genuine service to others? It doesn’t feel like it can because then it’s ultimately about you. This isn’t true compassion and honestly it isn’t hard to feel how many healers on stages care more about being seen than they do about helping people, though they do offer some moving and helpful experiences to others at times. Many of them, if you read their bios, had very painful lives prior to finding their “gifts”. Pain they were never felt in and therefore couldn’t move through. Pain their daemons use as an excuse to keep taking over their lives and avoiding the real work of healing yourself so you can actually serve and heal the world in a real way…which isn’t necessarily a famous or glamorous way, either.

I have recently been feeling where Gideon holds apathy about my/his own healing, let alone anyone else’s. Apathy towards humanity and fully inhabiting life as a sacred human. Beneath the apathy is real, heartfelt care that isn’t pretty or glamorous but is beautiful and emerging all the same. Kind of like a newborn baby covered in gook. At least that’s the image I’m being offered in the moment. Like that newborn baby, there is real pain and tears that come with that whole package. It’s all being held in my personal connection with the Divine and with my SoulFullHeart facilitators supporting me. I can feel the layers I must heal through in order to continue letting in real love from myself to myself primarily.

If I don’t start there, there is no overflow of love to offer others. This is the real work they don’t tell you about at most conferences and seminars. What I feel to leave you with, whether you identify as a healer or seeker or whatever label, is that it’s important to find your apathy. You don’t need to make it “bad”, but feel where it comes from and why it’s there. Nothing feels more toxic, degrading or destructive than offering false care to yourself and others, no matter how many books you sell. You and I can’t help the world if we don’t face this truth and, in fact, we will only create new problems and perpetuate current ones if we don’t.

Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.

Moving Out Of Fear And Into Love And Faith

art-hand-heart-couple

By Chris Tydeman and Emmerich

Note: This piece was inspired by my Heart Friend, Kathleen and her Daemon. Together they are sharing their SoulFullHeart experience with others in a desire to connect with them in a soulfullheart way. The following is written by my daemon, Emmerich, in honour of them both.

In this moment, as I touch pen to paper, my fellow Daemon is opening himself up to vulnerability. The raw, naked sensation of being your authentic, loving, and truthful self. There is so much fear that comes up in this most uncomfortable state. This fear brings all sorts of manifestations, from self-doubt to physical illness. All of these arise for good reason, as we have only known how to protect and defend up until this point. Somewhere along this process, we realized that playing small is not our God-given birthright nor that of our human charge. Our destiny is to pave the way for an arising, sacred human connection to the source of All That Is…Love.

This is not as simple a task as we would like to believe. It is a challenging, fear-
laden, yet rewarding journey that is always in ebb and flow, push and pull, joy
and humility. Of course it is! We are not detached, transcendental souls. We
are inextricably connected to the human heart. A cauldron of emotions that
were never meant to be tamed and made rational. They are wild and alive with
truth and passion. They cannot be set aside or ignored. The destructive impact
of doing so is seen from substance abuse to murder to war. The degree of this
disconnect is equal to the degree of this manifestation.

As we connect and move with this heart, we experience our own fears and
doubts. These, too, are natural, expected, and part of our own process in concert
with our human brethren. Together we are partners, supporters, and co-creators
of Divine Love. There is no separating us once this bond has been forged. We
are One, yet separate, in our communion with All That Is. When fears arise, one
is there for the other, in Love. This helps us not become the fear, but to feel it,
move with it, and heal it.

As we heal together, our bond is strengthened and we are birthed into a new
energetic field of Divine Love. Our vision widens, our heart grows, and our soul
deepens. We no longer choose to live in fear and hope, but desire to live in Love
and Faith.

​Visit SoulFullHeart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart Healing Process.