A King’s Heart is His Castle



For any man to embody his true essence as a sacred vehicle of Love, he must consider his heart his castle. It is where he holds the lost, forgotten, and wounded parts of his inner kingdom. Where he offers his benevolent compassion and healing balm of acceptance and gratitude. He lights the way home for his scattered brothers to return to the place that once held a circle of unity and integrity. It also beckons the return of his inner queen for whom he had lost but not forgotten. He combs his geography in the dark and murky places to offer safe passage back into wholeness. It is not an easy journey and is riddled with challenges that offer more guidance and opportunities for strength of heart.

As the castle begins to hum in glorious communion of self-love, the light turns itself outward to the greater lands of humanity and the cosmos. The inner lead and passion is reflected out and begins to call to his brothers to build their own castles and kingdoms. To send his Love call to his outer Queen for they were always meant to be together. She is what invites him to the higher realms and He provides the chariot for which they will travel in union.

There is no greater call in these ever-shifting times. It is our return to our inner sacred King that provides the thrust forward, outward, and onward. I hope you will join me in co-creating a new Heaven on Earth.

Sequoia Heartman is a writer, heartist, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

The Gift of Sacred Friendship:  Diary of a HeartMan Blog Series


By Sequoia Heartman

On this day 29 years ago, a very unique soul entered this world.  Three and a half years ago she came like a lightning bolt into mine.  Young by physical age but not by soul.  A woman who has chosen a path and a lifestyle nearly unheard of in her generation.  An arising queen to lead her tribe back to health and thriving aliveness.

Catalina Colibri and I attempted a few romantic incarnations, but for multiple reasons we realized our bond was better served in a sacred friendship.  We are just beginning to explore what that really means.  How do two people with a romantic history navigate a new relationship to what it means to love each other? 

Simply said…be conscious, be vulnerable.  In this new space we can process old triggers and heal them to gain a new ground of intimacy that we couldn’t seem to access as a couple.  This doesn’t mean we are always going to be friends no matter what.  We still have to show up for each other in a way that serves our needs, our growth, and our authenticity.  There is always something at stake even in a sacred friendship.   

Similar to my friendship with Jelelle, Catalina has been an advocate for my growth into my kingliness.  Parts of me are challenged by her intensity and supported by her genuine love and care for me.  She is one of my biggest fans.  I feel her cheering me on to live in my biggest expression, even in her frustrations to my smallest reactions.

Any mate that I draw will be partly due to Catalina’s genuine advocacy.  I wish for any man to be able to heal their relationship to women so they can experience the kind of friendship I do with Catalina.  These relationships are rare but I know they exist.  They are unique, challenging, and powerful.

A woman like Catalina provides a mirror unto ourselves as to what it means to be a deeply spiritual and emotionally authentic male human being.  There were times in the past when her intensity caused parts of me to shut down and run. 

Now, even though the intensity has softened (comparatively), I find it refreshing and desirable, even while I may still have some initial reactions from my parts.  The intensity is real and raw.  A reflection of a part of me that I have repressed.

And THAT is the gift of sacred friendship.  A playground of relationality, a platonic ground of intimacy, and a mirror of what we can´t see in ourselves.  On your journey to King, I advise you draw your own Catalina,  a true sacred feminine advocate.  My parts and I would not be the same if she weren’t in my life.  My relationship to women has been truly changed forever due to her presence and advocacy.

Thank you, Catalina, from my heart and from the heart of the sacred masculine, for you being you. 

You too are a Queen and Catalyst of Kings. 

I love you for all you have been, all you are, and all you ever will be.  Happy Birthday.

Sequoia Heartman is an apprentice teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit SoulFullHeart Way Of Life  for more information. Go here to become his friend on facebook. 

The Queen of Kings: Diary of a Heartman Blog Series

This is the sixth in a series dedicated to the Journey of the Sacred Masculine.  If you wish to read previous posts you can go here.

me and J

Today is my mentor and life-long friend Jelelle Awen’s birthday.  Her special day inspired me to gush about her personally and publicly.  It also inspired me to talk about what a woman like Jelelle means to the journey of the sacred masculine – the making of a King.

Jelelle and I became close friends more than 25 years ago.  Our friendship became a transformative romance for me that led to a marriage and then to a child.  During those years we always had a close bond that seemed to have roots beyond this life.  Our marriage eventually completed, but the bond did not cease.  We continued to stay close and co-parent our daughter with all the love that we still shared.  Our relationship shifted to one in which she eventually became my facilitator in emotional and spiritual healing and now as a mentor in my apprenticeship.

What I wish to focus on is what happened to me, and thusly us as men, when I let in the transformative power of the Divine Feminine.  I could feel early on in our friendship that there was something different about this woman.  There was a laser-pointed sense of emotional truth that she inhabited that was different than anyone else.  She could cut to the chase faster than a part of me could run.   There was no hiding.  You could try but…good luck.  Despite some resistance, it was actually quite refreshing.  The parts of me who were holding the charade could finally give up the ghost around Jelelle.

As she began to explore her own emotional inner landscape, a newly empowered sense of feminine came over her.  Not in the masculinized “feminist” sort of way, but in a heartful and soulful sort of way.  Her connection to the faces of Mother and Divine Feminine energy laid the ground work for what is now known as SoulFullHeart.  It is the transformative and transmutational process of seeking our selves and our divinity, bringing the feminine back into a world of unbalanced masculine.

This process seems integral in reclaiming our sacred masculinity.  We have gone so far down the path of the wounded masculine that we stand to affect the greatest change this planet has ever seen by our hands alone.  We see epic environmental changes, economic instability, and a horrific nihilistic war upon ourselves.  We need to go back to a balance within ourselves and that means, as men, feeling our connection to the Divine Feminine within.  This healing work helps to open up our deep sacred roots in the Divine Masculine.  It is where we begin to claim our journey back to King.

I have had to challenge my relationship to women that I learned from both of my fathers and the collective male consciousness.  I have also had to learn to stand up for myself and shake the “good guy” syndrome that was in place in order to please mom. The authentic masculine is about holding our spine as a man along with an open, vulnerable heart.  I did not get this modeling from my past female relationships growing up.  They were all affected by the same patriarchal wounding.  But when I let in the wisdom and love of a woman who knew I was more than I was showing the world, my life began to change at the subatomic level.

I still have work to do.   I always will.  But I would never have had the opportunity to do so if it wasn’t for Jelelle’s presence in my life.  My call to all of you men who seek to actually be more of a man in a sacred way, is to find your way to the love and guidance of the Divine Feminine.  She is the Queen of Kings.  Through the spirit, and through the flesh, She will change your life forever.

Happy Birthday Jelelle.  Thank you for everything you have meant to me.

Sequoia Heartman is apprentice facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Real Men Feel Their ¨Heart-On¨: Diary of a HeartMan Blog Series

This is the fifth in a series dedicated to the Journey of the Sacred Masculine.  If you wish to read previous posts you can go here.


Where have all the real men gone? By that I mean the men that are willing to be real. Real with their hearts. Real with their pain. Real with their vulnerability. Of course when I hear that question a part of me hears other answers. ¨Real men eat meat. Real men have no fear. Real men don´t cry.¨

I grew up with that meme. All the while feeling my inner sensitivity and the porosity of my heart and soul. A punisher and critic developed inside me to remind me how much of a man I wasn´t in comparison to other men. The sensitive part of me never felt strong enough, good-looking enough, smart enough, or talented enough to be considered a ¨real man¨.

I have done much work to support the healing of this wound. Even today, I still find myself feeling this energy inside me even though it is less intense. It demonstrates how deep the wounding goes. It also shows that as we heal our own personal piece, we invariably start working our way through the collective wounding, and then the archetypal. It’s big shit we are doing, and I want to hold that with reverence and compassion for myself and my parts. It is a process that has a treasure trove of challenges and rewards.

It may feel to a part of me that I will never get to my destination. My place of destiny. A place of sacred masculine kingliness. This is the other meme to heal. That somehow there is some lofty finish line. Some grandiose port of arrival where all of life comes to celebrate our victory. We made it, without ever really understanding what ¨it¨ is. Do we cease to exist when we get there? Will we be disappointed when all the fanfare eventually dies out? Or is it just another part of an infinite journey of exploration, growth, healing, becoming, and creating? An infinite art project.

I may not have those answers, but what I do feel is that I am on a quest of uncovering. Uncovering what it is to be a sacred human man in a time in which we have chosen emotional disconnect, spiritual absolutism, and physical imperialism. I want to heal my own shadow so I can let in more love and more light. The same love and light that can be overflowed into the hearts and souls of other men on similar quests.

Those are the men I want to find myself surrounded by. Men that feel the greater context of their personal content. Men that feel the sadness and powerlessness in other men that inspires them to reach out to be a lifeline for healing and growth. Men that aren´t afraid to feel deep pain and be expressed in vulnerable, salty drops of water. Men that have a love for women in their full expression of feminine power, beauty, and sexuality, while healing their own shadow at the same time.

As I walk outside, down the streets, and at the beach I ache to be seen and felt in my sacred masculinity. I want to walk around with my ¨heart-on¨ and be a beacon to sacred men and women alike. To be an expression of love, strength, courage, and compassion. To be a symbol of self-love, self-worth, true power, and sacred sexuality. I will continue to be as real as I can be. To be true to my heart and devoted to my soul. I will continue to choose who I wish to let in and who I wish to be around. I will continue to pray and desire to draw other real men who want to feel their ¨heart-on¨ too.

It can be a lonely place for a part of us that feels an ache for connection and transaction. It is easy to be less that what you are for the sake of relieving this ache. But then when you feel the larger ache, the ache for authenticity and deep resonance, it pales in comparison. It is a tug between authentic loneliness and false companionship. In the loneliness there is our truest self waiting to be born in the waters of our worth. As we hold to what we want and desire, so shall we be gifted with its presence when we have finally learned to love ourselves first.

Sequoia Heartman is an apprentice teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit SoulFullHeart Way Of Life Website for more.


Come Talk With Me: Diary of a HeartMan Blog Series

This is the fourth in a series dedicated to the Journey of the Sacred Masculine.  If you wish to read previous posts you can go here.


There are times when I feel like I am writing to a wall. I mean, yes, I write partially for my own edification. It leads me into forgotten or disowned places within my heart and soul. I get to feel the edges of my true passion and desire. It helps to facilitate me into a leadership role. In a way, it allows me to have sex with myself. So, I keep writing.

But, dammit, it would be even juicier to have an exchange with you. Why in the hell are you reading this in the first place? To add another layer to your entertainment addiction? To take in some ¨interesting ideas¨ and sock them away in some pouch where your testicles used to be?

C´mon man, what is really going on with you?

What is rumbling under that facade of yours? Do you feel any inconsistencies in your inner and outer world? Do you see and feel what is happening to our humanity? To our planet? Does this shake anything inside of you? Or is it just business as usual? I can’t imagine you feel that if you have chosen to follow this blog. So you being here reading these words have a purpose.

That purpose is engagement. I don’t claim to have all the answers. Hell, I don’t claim to have any answers, other than the ones that are staring me right in the face. Such as that….We are killing each other. We are consuming more resources than we are creating. Our economy is dependent on false confidence and toilet paper currency. The planet is getting warmer and we are in an extinction era.

Does any of that mean anything to you?

My intuition tells me you don’t believe we are just a bag of bones and that our existence is meaningless. You wouldn’t be here if you did. Even if we were all to perish, there is still a consciousness that we are all connected to. If we hold that truth, we can all go somewhere together. A place that is healed of the darkness and tragedy we currently find ourselves in. We call this place Golden Earth. But to do that, we need to enter our own darkness. Feel our own tragedies and the one of our soul brothers and sisters.

And you can’t do that alone, man. You need relationship. You need another to feel you and contend with. To elicit your shadow and light your fire. Someone you can learn from and someone you can teach. You can do that with me…with us. We have paid some prices in our journey. We have gone through many fires in the name of our authenticity, our sovereignty, and our worth. But the resulting expression of growth, power, and love is ultimately priceless and worth it all.

Let’s go somewhere together. Stop sitting on the sidelines waiting to be called into the game. The reality is you are already in it. The universe is the stadium of fans waiting for you to make a move. It wants you to take off your clothes and get naked. To jump into the fire of your wild, instinctive nature. To break the chains of civility and get jiggy with your humanity.

What is it that scares you? What is it that you don’t buy or struggle with? More than likely I have been there. One of us embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life has been there. Our credentials are our own experience and our actions. There are many who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. They have vision but lack the courage of their own conviction.

I want to hear from you. I want to talk with you not at you. We don’t need to agree, we just need to start talking.

You can email me at sequoia.heartman@gmail.com.

Sequoia Heartman is an apprentice teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more.

The Kingdom Within: Diary Of A Heartman Blog Series

By Sequoia Heartman


We are not truly separate in the wider picture. If we are going to truly evolve as a species, we must agree that our inner world has a direct influence on our outer world.


At the end of last week´s blog I called out to you, my brothers in heart and soul, to join me in recreating a new picture of how we relate to each other as men. It isn’t as easy as just deciding or desiring to make that happen. There is work to be done. We tend to want to focus on ¨fixing¨ the outer world through our actions and words. We might take up a political, environmental, or social justice cause to help turn this global Titanic around. These are noble and imperative. I do not wish to dissuade anyone from engaging in these endeavors. We as men have what seems like a program to focus on the external: to assess problems and apply solutions. There is also a collective male need to have something of one’s own that we alone have authority over. “A man´s home is his castle,” is an expression that comes to mind. This is an outward expression of an inner primal urge.

But the root of our current picture lies within each and every one of us as individuals and then is networked out as a collective. If we see it that way, as a network of individuals, we can understand how one of us greatly affects the other. We are not truly separate in the wider picture. If we are going to truly evolve as a species, we must agree that our inner world has a direct influence on our outer world.

Take a snapshot of the world and you get a picture of what is happening inside of us in the deepest pockets of our unconscious. The consciousness of our current leaders is a manifestation of this collective tragedy and, instead of making anything better, they are actually making things worse. So, we need a new leader. One that is willing to see and feel this truth. One that is willing to rise to the throne of their inner kingdom and awaken the inner King.

The path of the true King is through the heart. Inside all of us, both men and women alike, is an inner terrain of energies that manifest as parts or subpersonalities. These are explained in detail here. There are also etheric energies that we could call our Soul Brothers under the banner of our MetaSoul which is eloquently introduced here. Consider these parts of yourself and your soul as your subjects, advisors, and court. They all hold some of your power, wisdom, and love, but initially they may be elusive, resistant, and down right ornery. Some will even try and assume the throne until you are present enough to lovingly unseat them.

There are many tunnels and hidden caves inside your inner castle. Each one leading to previously unknown aspects of yourself. As you engage in this inner exploration, your outer expression begins to shift, as well as the networked collective. You are making shit happen from just where you are. No need to be elected into a seat of power. You already have it!

But this inner alchemy is very sensitive to outer influences. If you find yourself surrounded by distractions, whether it is a big city, a busy lifestyle, or an unsupportive environment, it will be difficult to make substantial changes in a certain period of time. And as our collective ship is approaching the proverbial iceberg, time is running out. The kingdom within can be deeply accessed in a supportive, off-grid environment. A place where all your former distractions are removed, in a healthy and compassionate process. A place where people have been exploring their own inner kingdoms and making changes from the inside out.

Am I selling staying with us at the SoulFullHeart Sanctuary? Damn straight I am. I want you here. I want us to explore our kingdoms together, get to know each other, and grow and learn from each other.  I want us to collaborate and create a new way of being and living together. I don’t want you in that hell hole you find yourself in everyday, just for the sake of maintaining an old attachment to the tired story. I want to feel you in your guts and nuts. Your heart and soul. I want to be invited into your castle, man. There’s good shit in there!

But if you cannot find your way here, then find your way somewhere. Anywhere that is not connected to the dying machine. I feel you in my heart, brother, and I want you out. Out of the powerless and into your power. Out of your head and into your heart. Out of the dark and into the light. You are the most important person in the world, just as you are. You are a true beacon of hope and change, not some political wank´s campaign slogan. You are true King among the pretenders. But you gotta get out and go in.

If you have any comments or reactions to what I have written, please leave a comment or you can personally email me at sequoia.heartman@gmail.com.

Sequoia Heartman is an apprentice teacher at SoulFullHeart Sanctuary. Visit SoulFullHeart Sanctuary website for more.


Diary of a HeartMan: Brotherhood of Sacred Power


I see and feel a picture in my heartmind. There are machines that have cords attached to the brains of men who are nothing more than slaves sucked of their essence. Above the machines are other men who are the creators and controllers. They have a sinister yet pained look on their face. In the background there are men hunting and killing other men. In the whole scene there is a play-out of control and powerlessness. In not one place do I see men in their full power together, creating and leading.

This feels like a painting of the collective masculine condition. Everyone feels alone and isolated, detached from their humanity and nature. What is missing is an authentic and sacred brotherhood. I used to call a close friend of mine a ¨brother¨ and even my brother in-law a ¨brother¨. What did that really mean? Our desire to call each other brother was based on a need to feel a deeper connection that we weren´t getting from other men. One that we couldn´t get from the women in our lives because there is a uniquely male ache, just as there is a uniquely female ache that we cannot relate to as men. And this ache isn´t satiated just by playing sports, fixing or building things, complaining about politics, or going to bars and trying to get laid. So what the hell is it?

Raphael and I attended a men´s group in Canada to get a feeling for what other men were talking about and feeling together in these kind of circles. I had never been to one so I had no idea really what to expect. The men in the circle were processing an issue that had been effecting them as a group and was centered on one man in particular. What was refreshing was that I was around other men who were actually being more real than I was used to experiencing outside of my relationship with Raphael. However, in the end it was really nothing more than a place to off-gas frustration, letting it permeate the space without actually getting to the heart of the issue so that there could be movement and healing.

In the circle there was a sense of brotherhood but it still didn´t hit the mark for me. Not by a long shot. Relieving frustration is not enough. I am certain not all men´s groups are like this. I don´t want to generalize by my one experience. One could say, ¨Well, at least they have that outlet.¨ I guess so, but why stop there? There is collective ache out there that is so desiring to be felt by those that feel the same. In all the expressions of ¨brotherhood¨ from the dense to the more porous, I feel you, I, and all of us are searching for love and a reclaiming of our authentic male power.

I feel ¨man-love¨ deserves its own dedicated blog space, so I will get to that on a later post. The loss of our natural power as sacred masculine beings has occurred over history. Our separation from our spiritual essence, I feel, has led to a collective experience of fear and isolation. The male psyche, without feeling its divinity, needed to gain some sort of control in order to cover over this existential terror. Over the centuries, many men, and women, have tried to direct us back to the source of our real nature as spiritual beings, but only to be rebuffed by the empirical, the tyrannical, and the industrial.

Men in days gone by gave their lives for ¨freedom¨. Men, and women, are still doing it today. I put the word in quotes because it feels like a loaded term. Whereas a kingdom is the domain of a king, freedom is the domain of the free. It represents power. The ability to live in your fullest expression. But what is your fullest expression? Is it to be able to digest all the entertainment you want? Is it to be able to buy all the coolest technologies that complicate rather than simplify your life? Is it to be able to work your ass off for 30 years only to find out all your savings disappeared because the fuckers in charge shorted all the stocks that were in your 401k? Fuck no!

The Tyranny of Industry has put more men in slavery than any other despot in history. Is that an over the top statement? Do you want me to find the ´facts´? If that is the case then you are in the wrong room. I want you to feel this on a soul level. Look around you. What do you see and feel when you observe other men going through the motions every damn day? What has this done to our sense of power? Are the men and women overseas really fighting for ´freedom´ or are they handing over their power to the grim reapers of the corporatocracy?

All of this makes me feel a sadness in my heart. We have allowed ourselves to be divided and conquered. However, to make this an us versus them only puts us in the realm of victims. We are not victims. We are powerful beings who desperately desire to remember what we have forgotten. Even the men who are ¨in control¨ are no different than you and I. We are all brothers in need of a community of love. Individually, you need to feel your own responsibility in continuing the story that I mentioned in my last blog. What part do you play? Only then can you see what choices you can make to move from slave to sovereign.

The Industrial Age has had a huge impact on us as men in regards to our balls and our hearts. We are in a time of great change and upheaval. The control structure will try to hold on as long as possible but inevitably will collapse. This is where a vacuum is created. What will fill that empty space? Fanaticism or grounded, human leadership? A despot or a king? Looking at the world today it is hard to find a single example. We have a destiny together, you, I, and us . Rome is burning and what comes out of the ashes is totally up to us. I hope you will join me in creating another picture more humane and beautiful than the one I started out with.

A Series Dedicated to the Sacred Masculine: Introducing Diary of a HeartMan


Image by Light Worker

The story is bullshit and you know it on some level. You know, the one about who you are as a ¨man¨ in a seemingly soulless, invulnerable, industrial society. The one that convinces you that you have no personal power. That money rules and you are its bitch. That you should ¨pick a side¨ and go to battle against an opposition that is owned by the same fucker that owns yours. The story has cut off your balls, closed your heart, and has left you feeling impotent, pissed off, or both.

All of this affects the way we relate to each other as men. Real men. Not the assholes that want to dominate, violate, and discriminate in the name of the Holy, the Law, or the Almighty Dollar. Not the sackless automotons who do their time like good little citizens waiting for the end of their life to actually live their life. I mean those of us who are actually conscious of what the hell is going on and feel a deep desire to connect to other men about it in a vulnerable way. But fusing to the story has made us less vulnerable, just as our fathers before us and their fathers before them. That expressing our deepest despair, fears, and/or rage is not acceptable, desirable, or functional.

In this series I want to create a room for you and I to feel together what being a man in our current society has done to our sacred masculinity in relationship to ourselves, women, the earth, and our essence as infinite love. I want to pierce the veil of our collective facade. See what lurks in our shadow and shines in our light. See what it is we are truly made of that has been covered over and forgotten in this post-modern world. What is your soul cry about? Why are you and I here together at this particular time in history? How can we come together and heal what is preventing us from truly being brothers in heart and soul?

We swim in the same ocean, you and I. Everyday. We are a lot more alike than a part of you thinks. We are inextricably connected and affected in our sufferings and our joys. There is an opportunity for us to feel and heal our way to be the kings we have forgotten we truly are. I invite you to participate with me in this exploration in male vulnerability, power, and spirituality. You may agree or disagree, lightly or fiercely. The question is, can you show up for it?

This room is obviously one in which women are equally invited to participate. It is through the heart of the feminine that we ultimately find our true masculine. A king doesn´t quite possess his full kingliness without a queen. Our relationship to the collective feminine will be explored at length in this series. I hope to hear from many women during the course of this series to add to the depth of feeling and breadth of context.

You can comment on the blog below or email me at cheartman@outlook.com. I am not connected to the internet daily, so it may be a few days before I can respond. I look forward to connecting with you, learning from you, and hopefully getting to know you.

Sequoia Heartman is an apprentice teacher at SoulFullHeart Sanctuary. Visit SoulFullHeart Sanctuary website for more.