Money As A Mirror Of Our Relationship To Love



By Raphael Awen

Let’s get real for a moment about money…not ‘brutally’ real, but lovingly and honestly real with ourselves about money and its role in our lives.

While we’re at it, let’s break the cultural silence around money. Let’s feel money’s all too real, larger-than-life role in our lives, its limitation in our choices, and also, its potential for deep rebirth inside of us.

Let’s begin this worthy quest with some ‘quest’ions. What role does money play in your sense of whether you get to lead the life you really want to or not? How much space does anxiety about money take up in your life and dictate the options you feel you have or don’t have? How do you imagine your life would look and feel different if money were no object? What current relationships in your life would be different were it not for financial necessity? Do you love the country and location where you live, or is it also more about financial necessity? What about how you earn money in the world? Is it in alignment with your deepest sense of calling and purpose, or is it more about holding down a job that you dislike or even detest? How could these tough and sensitive money questions, and the truth-telling mirror that money is, be used to either set us free or keep us small indefinitely?

So many are finding the issue of money to be one of the strongest tethers or anchors keeping them stuck in a 3D reality while they are wanting and even aching to inhabit a deep ascension process of being in tune with their higher self, their guides, and their deeper gift expression in the world. So how do we enter a new timeline where money is concerned? How can we transmute this issue of money from one of the biggest hindrances to our ascension/awakening process, into one of our greatest means of awakening?

I’d like to share with you my own personal bigger-picture lens through which I’ve come to see money. See what resonates for you as your truth, and of course, as always, pass on the rest, or shelve it for further inquiry if you’re not sure.

My truth is that we are not victims in any way to money, or to the powers that be around money, or to debt, etc, All perception of ourselves as victims of a money system gone awry is in large part, in service of a part of us wanting and needing to stay small and secure in what it knows and feels as familiar. (I’m not saying that we don’t have a corrupt money system. I’m saying that we don’t have to be subject to a corrupt money system.)

Money itself and its role in our lives is a mirror that doesn’t lie and what it so effectively mirrors is our relationship to money and ultimately our relationship to love, which is ultimately what money is – simply a carrier of energy. Finding the courage to open out this truth alone can begin a whole new wave in your world around money. If this is true, then money and its role in your life is something in your direct control. I am responsible for the current circumstances in my life around money. I am not a victim in any way around money. Not all of me may feel this is true all of the time, but this too is in my circle of influence to change.

A key piece in beginning a significant shift here is seeing that money itself is not the issue, but instead it is our relationship to money that is the issue. It’s not the thing, but our relationship to the thing that determines what is healthy or unhealthy.

Let’s shift now to weave in some practicalities around money in light of this bigger picture.

If you feel stuck in a job you don’t like, feel into how a part of you must feel something desirable about this job from its point of view, or obviously you wouldn’t be there. In getting to know this part of you, what negotiations could you come to with this part of you that would either make the job more bearable for the time being or allow you to take steps to chart a new course for yourself?

Which leads to the next piece…what is it that you really love? What is it that you would do for no money just simply for the fun of it? And what if that expression of your gift could also be your means of earning a living? What is it that expands you out as you engage in it, rather than contracts you inward? What is it that you feel called to? The word ‘career’ comes from the latin ‘vocarre’ which means ‘to call’. None of us are without a calling, some of us are just haven’t consciously heart it yet. So what steps could you take to engage in this calling expression more and more in your life? My truth is that there is always a beginning place that one is aware of, yet beginning there is a negotiation with the part of us who isn’t quite ready to begin there. Getting started there at this beginning is being on the path of sacred calling that opens out the next pieces in terms of direction, courage, and recognition by others in the world. Why would we think that offering something less in the world than our deepest gifts would be a good idea where our wellbeing is concerned? Value always flows to need and back again in a continual loop. What are you giving in the world that others need? Giving yourself to the deepest needs are what provides a deep security where material needs are concerned regardless of what’s happening ‘economically’. Seek to start your own independent economy where what you supply in the world is in high demand! This could be as simple a beginning as cleaning up trash in your neighbourhood, and gifting yourself to Gaia in this way, and adding waves of love and beauty to the world around you as you do. Starting there will lead you to your next piece as you feel into your deeper guidance around calling and purpose. You will not be without remuneration for your contribution.

Another piece is to let go of the idea of ever ‘retiring.’ You will be ever in gift exchange and contribution in the world as long as you are here. Life, if anything is a symbiosis of life exchanging with life. Here, it’s actually impossible for life not to look after you. Life begets life. Retiring, in the normal way it’s related to is to take yourself out of the contribution picture which is really taking yourself out of the life picture. You may change roles and let go of a career path, but see yourself as a deep and profound contributor as long as you have breath.

If you are living on a so called ‘fixed income’ (or from a saved nest egg), you are going to want to ‘unfix’ it. The ways you can do that are all about changing your relationship to money. Some of the most anxious people financially are people with significant savings, where the amount of anxiety actually INCREASES with the more money they have, and the longer they have it. Money itself only does good as it is transacted. Money in stasis is dead money, like fresh fruit going bad, losing value and causing anxiety as it sits there. Money in motion on the other hand is a love machine. What gifts of love could you give yourself with that money that will actually increase your trust in a benevolent universe?

And what about debt? Why on earth would you stay in commitment to old debts that you have little hope of ever paying off? This is a big way that people stay stuck using a self image picture of ‘doing the right thing’ and commit themselves to a drudgery of debt. What deeper gifts are you justifying withholding from the world as you do this so called ‘right thing’? The only debtors prison is the one you willingly remain in while the door is unlocked awaiting your courage and choice to leave. Bankruptcy is way easier than most imagine. For many, even simpler will be Debt Repudiation – just walking away from accumulated debts. The blocks to seeing and feeling this are all emotional in my truth. What gifts could you give the world after you gave yourself your self permission to break an unhealthy commitment to debt? Again, I ask ‘how could any strategy for financial security be valid if it’s about giving something less than your best gifts in the world?’ Symbiosis simply doesn’t work inside of a withhold!

Another big piece you can feel into is to gift money-as-love into places that align with your soul purpose and path. Giving money is a powerful way to plant seeds into the soil you desire to rebase your life direction and growth into. Money is only energy and all energy is sourced ultimately in love. I would love to be in a love-gift money exchange place with you if my work is a gift to you. You can do that on our Patreon page here: Maybe fully receiving the gift I have for you can’t occur for you until you enter into a deeper reciprocity with me, and vice-versa. Again, it’s the flow of love and the flow of money in a seedtime-and-harvest reality that moves our worlds, both internally and externally.

Another big way to move your relationship to money is to see every expense you have as a ‘gift of you’ instead of a bill to pay or an obligation. You are now gifting the power company money in exchange for the gift they gave you of electricity piped into your home. Wow! You are gifting the grocery store with love-money for their love gifts to you that nourish your body. What could be more sacred? You just got all this benefit, just by giving them some digits from a computer screen or some magical pieces of paper! If you can’t give this gift with joy, you are corrupting the gift, along with your own alchemy. Maybe you should more integrously consider refusing their gift and setting up your own solar system or growing your own food if that feels more in alignment with your deepest love expression in the world. Can you feel how big this is to stop ‘paying for’ anything, to be instead in a love gift and deep gratitude exchange with everything you acquire in the world for your wellbeing? Talk about entering Golden Earth Now…! and doing it all from a change in heart…

I’m curious how this is landing in you. Can you feel a ‘new world order’ wanting to arise inside of you personally? I’d like to further help you through session space if you feel I could be of further help to you around feeling and healing the parts of you that need you to show up in a way that you haven’t up till now been able to, in order to make these kind of quantum jumps into new worlds of reality. You can read more at the following link about the session space I (and SoulFullHeart) offer…

The old ways of relating to money may still have some inertia as they continue to move through your life, but the very big difference is that these movements are diminishing, as new ways are arising. You are entering a new world at a rate and pace that is in alignment with feeling all there is to feel along the way. It’s in feeling this ‘all there is to feel’ as blossoming sacred humans that change happens. It is here that our inner and outer worlds are transformed.

(If you’d like to listen to a recording of an awesome recent group call that we did on money, you can do that here: SoulFullHeart Group Call – Money, Abundance, Soul Purpose, Guided Meditation)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at

Money As An Exchange Of Love Energy: Conversations With Archangel Metatron

By Jelelle Awen


“Money is energy. It is an exchange of energy and, in another way, it does not exist and is only as real as the perception that you project upon it and the way that you relate with it. It is not the root of all evil as fear of love is what roots in evil or darker frequencies ,” says Archangel Metatron in response to a question I asked him about the higher consciousness definition of money. I am letting into my field higher guidance and reflection from him about money as we are hosting a group call and guided meditation about it this Saturday, February 4th at 4:44pm CST.


“Yes, that has been my sense of money for many years,” I answer, smiling at him.
He smiles back at me and continues, “Third dimensional reality – with its dualistic frequencies of separation and lack – has projected these feeling tones onto money. To the 3D self, the perceived lack or abundance of money directly relates to the often subconscious sense of this inside of themselves.”
“When we feel ‘tight’ or ‘lacking’ about money, it represents feelings of scarcity about love in our lives….”
“Yes, Jelelle. When there is an inner sense of abundant flow of love with yourself, with Divine Source, with others….then money is felt to be abundant, no matter how much of it there actually IS in the bank account.”
I digest this as a deeper truth in the moment even though this has been a process ground of expansion for me over the years and in serving others, including coaching small business clients on how to think about the financial area of their businesses.
“In my experience and experience guiding others, the 3D self especially uses the ‘earning of money’ to stay in suffering loops, especially around putting their energy and focus into jobs that aren’t connected to their passion purpose or soul purpose work,” I say. “This can be a transitional phase for people…to move out of doing a job just for the money to receiving their livelihood from the expression of their deepest soul passion. It has been a transition for my mate Raphael and I that has taken many years. Should I tell that story?”
“Yes, please, Jelelle, I feel it would be helpful,” says Metatron, sending a wave of golden love my way. I take his love into my heart, feeling it infuse my ‘story’ with new frequencies of relevance and gratitude.
“I worked an ‘office job’ for many years to support my daughter and myself. There was usually some connection to my passion purpose in these jobs: as a medical assistant in a cancer center, as an editor and reporter for a small business journal, as a coach and manager for small business clients. Each job seemed to bring me a step closer to the embracement of my soul gift expression. As I started really focusing on my emotional healing and spiritual awakening process, I eventually became a facilitator of others, holding space for their exploration, while earning money to do this. I left the office job and ‘steady paycheck’ environment ten years ago and have not returned to it.”
Raphael ran a painting contracting business in the Vancouver area for thirty years and we both lived off of the income from that until a few years ago when we left our client base there to move to Mexico. Raphael went through many transitions around the business, which he will tell in his own story, I’m sure, yet there was always an open and conscious question for us about if our deepest soul purpose work could provide the means of our livelihood rather than the painting business. We were serving others through SoulFullHeart, earning money through space holding and selling our books, yet, also we made sometimes difficult choices in our lifestyle to support this transition. We moved into an RV, sold almost everything we owned twice, declared bankruptcy, and left Canada for Mexico where the cost of living is much less and you can grow your own food year-round.”
Metatron nods at me to continue, knowing that I am not one prone to ‘telling my story’ as it often doesn’t feel real to me anymore and may not have the juice that the present moment does.
“We have lived very simply since being here in Mexico. We lived off of the last of the painting money savings (including using it to buy a piece of land on an off-grid ranch where we can retreat to if needed) until it ran out. Then, Sequoia Heartman and Leena Colibri began to earn money teaching English online. Their earnings, in addition to what we bring in through sessions, books, and donations into SoulFullHeart, is what currently provides the livelihood for all four of us.”
“One of the biggest shifts in how I related to money came from sharing money as a community, pooling all of it from what we earn as individuals to be shared together, for the last few years. The amazing thing about this is that because of our ground of transparency and the SoulFullHeart process itself which is our mutual way of relating, we have been able to bring reactions and triggers to each other around this without any conflicts arising because of it. There has been very little tension about sharing the money with each other and the sense of gratitude around it flows freely between us all.”
“This IS wonderful, Jelelle! This is more the way that money and alchemy flows in fifth dimensional consciousness. The energy exchanges with others are based in good will, gratitude, and a personal sense of inner abundance. Coming from this place of open abundant heart tones, sharing is natural and there is a deep trust that whatever you give will come back to you and the Universe will provide for you.”
“Yes, and somehow, from this place, all the needs of each individual person get met through this exchange, Metatron. The deeper phase for us in this transition to fifth dimensional consciousness around money is for ALL of our money and alchemy flow to be coming from SoulFullHeart and its offerings. And to experience a deeper abundance of goodness and beauty related to our living spaces. We also feel that gift exchange with others, including others coming to live with us here in Mexico and sharing in and contributing to the community pool of money, is a key aspect to the fulfillment of our vision and our desires. We are all visualizing this during meditation, connecting with our guides like you around it, and continuing to focus on inner healing and expanded heart and soul consciousness. It is a journey in process for sure.”
“Your story invites others to feel what their journey is related to this transition from 3D consciousness around money to 4D awakening to 5D,” Metatron says. “And I invite them, in this moment, to feel where they may be associating lack of love or abundance in their lives with how they are experiencing their money flow. I invite them to feel how the ways they earn their livelihood is connected to their soul purpose gift expression and ways that it is not. I invite them to feel their deepest desires related to money flow, abundance, and external (and internal) experience of it. I invite them to feel how much trust they feel that the Universe will provide all that they need.”
“This is a powerful invitation, Metatron. It is one that we offer as well in exploration of this ground from a higher consciousness perspective while holding the space inside to feel all the reactions that come up in response to it!”
“That is a magical thing indeed and I look forward to supporting others in this journey!”
“Me too, Metatron….me too!”


Note: Please join us for our live group call on Saturday, February 4th in which Raphael and I will explore the alchemical ground of money, abundance, and soul purpose. A monetary donation is required and much appreciated as it serves the unionifying of your intention and energy with ours.

Jelelle Awen is an 5D ascension teacher, writer and co-creator/teacher/group facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about sessions with her, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

Premise 15: Our relationship to money can either be a source of suffering or freedom

By Raphael Awen


Welcome to day 15 – Money Day – of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’

Fasten your seat belts. I just woke up from a great night in the Golden Earth Inn. Golden Earth is what I feel is another dimension, perhaps fourth or fifth to this three dimensional level. Hey, if what we are is energy, why not go energetically where you really want to be, and feel what you really want to feel? There’s a great Golden Earth Cafe to wake up to in the morning, nestled right amongst the trees in a Sequoia grove. Also, the students from the Golden Earth School are a real chatty bunch and are actually the best teachers and they are into this premise dialogue today.

The premise is called ‘The Money Premise’ and it goes like this:

“Our relationship to money (which is ultimately an illusion) can either be a source of suffering or freedom.”

First up, money itself isn’t your and my problem. The challenge with money is in our relationship to money. There’s a big difference there and a ton of freedom for you right there if you’re open to it.

Money is an external. Your relationship to money is an internal. The same can of course be said about so many things in life, and a heap of freedom can be found by exploring this same principle in all these areas. It’s not the thing itself that makes something helpful or a hindrance in your life, but your relationship to the thing that makes all the difference. And, I might add, how parts of you (or subpersonalities) relate to money is where the exploration about money gets very interesting and illuminating. Read here more about parts:…

If we are here to learn and grow as souls in this ongoing discovery of Infinite Love in an infinite universe of infinite possibilities, then money is surely going to be one of our biggest classrooms. Most of us use and need money to buy the things we want and need. It’s as central to our lives as breakfast.

But, money isn’t real. Well, it’s real enough, okay, I’ll give you that. I’ll accept it if you give me some and all that. But essentially, on a deeper meta level, money isn’t real at all, as we think of it, and it’s important to feel this if we are going to shift our relationship to money. We humans made up money as simply a means of exchange. Then we all agreed to recognize it as such and voila, ‘We’re in the Money’ as the song goes.

But now we see why money holds us so spellbound, whether in its abundance or absence. Money is something we can’t live without, right? Well, yes and no. I’m physically not going to die tomorrow if I run out of money, but in all likelihood, I’m going to need to find some before too long to buy the things I need for life sustenance. If the love of money is the root of all evil, then I’m one evil guy because my mind is on money a lot. And so is yours, right?

But what is money then if it ultimately isn’t real? Well, we can say and pretty easily so, that money is energy. Everything in the universe is energy, even what we call matter and physical objects are all energy. And the ultimate source energy of the universe is love.

What money really is…… simply love.

Now, we can see why we are collectively so crazy about it. None of us can or want to live without love. And we also have all kinds of scarcity and abundance reactions around love to that get projecting onto our ideas about money. And now, we can begin to see why it’s all about our relationship to money that makes all the difference rather than money itself.

Two years ago, Jelelle Awen and I left behind and retired from our primary source of income in my painting contracting business and decided to move along with Leena Colibri and Sequoia Heartman, to Mexico. Our combined net worth nest egg and available credit gave us enough to live modestly for a bit more than a year. I have earned about the equivalent in the last two years what I earned in an average few days of painting. Needless to say, there’s been a ton to feel and process around our relationship to money! And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

As that year of living off of a dwindling nest egg went by with no awareness of how we going to get any more money, there was plenty of anxiety to feel. It wasn’t crippling anxiety because of the work we had done previous in our relationship with money, but there was still anxiety. What I learned as I was spending this painting nest egg money that I earned in Canada was that the energy in that money itself had a lot of ‘fossilized’ anxiety in it. I was coming into more and more trust, and the anxiety was actually associated with the energy in the money itself and where and when and how it was earned.

When we reached the end of that money, life opened out magically in the form of Leena and then Sequoia finding teaching English gigs on line, and we are beginning to receive money donations for SoulFullHeart sessions. I’ve never been more ‘broke’ in my life and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in relationship to money!

I have desires for more, even plenty more, but I feel so much trust that whatever the universe brings me, it’s what I need for my growth. Last month a man who was interested in SoulFullHeart wanted to meet us and took us out to dinner at what was pretty much the fanciest restaurant I’ve ever been to. Sitting there in my falling apart sandals after living off of the monthly budget of what I used to spend at Starbucks in a month was an almost overwhelming experience. I did go to tears at one point letting it in.

Okay, these Golden Earth students are a chatty bunch alright and they wanted me to go off on our story for a while.

But what’s your story around money? Does it feel like a source of suffering or freedom in your life?

What ‘you do for dollars’ or pesos, wants to be transmuted more and more by a feeling all there is to feel around your relationship to money, which ties into your deepest existential need for love? All of this shifts into less suffering and more freedom from the tyranny of money as you feel and heal your relationship to money.

If you give your greatest gifts into the world and you die because you couldn’t live off of it, would there be any better way to go? Really, I feel that is what we are all being invited to live into, to change more and more into living in a gift economy.

If I, or Jelelle can help you with any more of your personal transition around money and your relationship to it, I’d love to do that through sessions on Skype and the SoulFullHeart way of life. They are crazy affordable, at least when it comes to the cost of money!

“All you need is love, love….love is all you need!”

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more.

Following Our Authentic Path To Draw Abundance: Meditation With Lakshmi

By Leena Colibri


I felt drawn to meditate with Lakshmi* the other day, feeling like she would be an interesting energy to connect with around questions I’ve been holding about abundance and drawing money. I like that she doesn’t represent easy abundance but instead seems to show us that if we are in our dharma or on our life’s authentic path, abundance is a flow we will have access to. I’d never been drawn to meditate with her before, but I came across an image of her online and felt like she may have something to teach me.

What follows is the story of our meeting together…

I close my eyes and invite my angels to help me ascend to where I can meet Lakshmi, the Hindu goddess of abundance. In a flash of light, I feel my soul rise to a higher stratum of existence, where I sit amongst what looks like baobab trees and there is a waterfall in the background. I see Lakshmi appear before me in a more woman-like form than most pictures of her depict. Her long, straight black hair is adorned with gold jewels and what seems to me like a beautiful and ornate tiara on top of her head that is quite enormous. She moves with grace and ease.

As we connect, I feel my heart searching for hers. She feels a bit distant and this could be because she is familiar to my soul, yet I haven’t explored much connection with her in this life. Plus, if my soul has experienced a lifetime (or several) in India, it is possible that humanizing her was against the rules, so feeling her heart may be difficult for a time. I don’t think much about this in the moment though, as any connection will do for now. I begin to ask her questions about whether or not I am blocking the abundance of money flow in my life. I acknowledge and let in the abundance I feel I am living into in many others ways, including the ways of love flow and spiritual awakening. She acknowledges this and I feel her warmth. She comes closer to me and places a gold coin in my right hand.

“Look at the coin,” she instructs me, “What do you notice?”

To my amazement, the gold layer begins to peel back to reveal a silver colour. Her message dawns on me…“Oh…so the value of money-abundance diminishes, yes?” I inquire, feeling like a good student in a small way, but mostly like an epiphany may happen at any moment.

“Yes…” she says, and vibes to me that she is not implying money has absolutely no value, only that it has less value than most people believe it does and that the value is not everlasting – It is temporary.

I see her face up close now, as she enters my field more so than before. She is beautiful with dark eyes, tanned brown skin with a golden hue, and a tender smile. She has a fiery energy that I resonate with, but also a sagely softness and stillness. I feel like she is enjoying this process with me, as I am not demanding answers or help, but requesting guidance and enjoying the process of connecting and transacting energy and love with her. Something about it feels natural, even though I am also having a completely new experience (or what feels new for me in this life).

Some time passes. I ask again about the flow of money and what my piece is in blocking it. I ask if there is anything else I can do to remove the block, though I can also feel that this may be a flow that I cannot control.

She offers that I look at the gold coin in my right hand again. The silver colour is now gone and it feels and looks like a more solid gold now. She instructs me to close my hand. Once I do this, she motions to my left hand, which is open with my palm facing upwards, just like my right hand was. A beautiful lotus flower appears with a golden hue and sparkles. She vibes to me the story of how receiving money is meant to transmute and flow outward into a beautiful creation like the lotus. In my case, and the case of my intimates, this flow has been love and spiritual openings, represented by the lotus.

I feel how our choices of money spending recently have been based in creating more of this love flow and bathing in it amongst ourselves and with others. Lakshmi seems to be offering me that this is supposed to happen – that money held on to for too long only diminishes its value. Its true value lies in what it is encouraged to transform into. This is comforting and validating, though a part of me still feels tension about when the money we are waiting for from my pay check will finally arrive. Lakshmi addresses this by offering that it “is much easier than I think” to draw money and that it really is arriving soon.

She puts my hands together in a prayer position in front of my heart and wraps a gold ribbon of energy around my hands. The energy and warmth flowing through my body feels like love, healing, and movement. It feels like a blessing. She tells me it IS a blessing, straight from her to me and to my community. She then tells me to open my hands again and hold them in front of me, ready to receive. Together we energize that everything I want and need is already here with me and that receiving money, or indeed any sort of abundance, is actually easy. I get the feeling that she can make almost anything feel easy, yet I trust her when she tells me this too.

As we part, I feel her honouring my heart and soul and all I am living into. I feel her blessing upon me and the blessing of being in her presence run through my body. She is with me still as I write this. She said she would help me record the meeting and she is! I look forward to spending more time in meditation with her, to feel our connection in a deeper way.

*Lakshmi (or Laxmi) is a Hindu goddess. The following is some information I’ve found about her, to help you orient to who she is and what she represents:

Goddess Lakshmi means Good Luck to Hindus. The word ‘Lakshmi’ is derived from the Sanskrit word “Laksya”, meaning ‘aim’ or ‘goal’, and she is the goddess of wealth and prosperity, both material and spiritual.

Lakshmi is depicted as a beautiful woman of golden complexion, with four hands, sitting or standing on a full-bloomed lotus and holding a lotus bud, which stands for beauty, purity and fertility. Her four hands represent the four ends of human life: dharma or righteousness, “kama” or desires, “artha” or wealth, and “moksha” or liberation from the cycle of birth and death.Cascades of gold coins are seen flowing from her hands, suggesting that those who worship her gain wealth. She always wears gold embroidered red clothes. Red symbolizes activity and the golden lining indicates prosperity. Lakshmi is the active energy of Vishnu, and also appears as Lakshmi-Narayan – Lakshmi accompanying Vishnu.

 Two elephants are often shown standing next to the goddess and spraying water. This denotes that ceaseless effort, in accordance with one’s dharma and governed by wisdom and purity, leads to both material and spiritual prosperity.



 Leena Colibri is an apprentice facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit for more information.

From Collapse to Sanctuary: An Appeal to Heal


Industrial collapse and emotional/spiritual healing. They sound like unlikely bedfellows. There are not many voices in the grids that link the two intimately. Those that see an imminent global economic collapse, the likes our civilization has never experienced, are still mired in the content of convincing others that it is actually coming or what the best ways to prepare are. Not quite able to make that first step to building sanctuary. Those that are very aware of how our wounded hearts and souls have created a deeply unsustainable way of living are seeking their own healing to help themselves and the planet. But the thought of an actual collapse is swept under the proverbial rug so as to not feel the enormity of the fear that comes with that. If they continue with their healing that is all they can do to help the world change course.

The dire situation we as a species find ourselves in is a direct result of our collective emotional and spiritual wounding. The choices we have made have been to seek a medication to that wounding or a justification of our unworthiness as human beings. Organized religions and professional therapies have tried to offer a salve for the pain, but come up short on true transmutative healing and in many cases replaces one medication for another. There is a collective shadow that grows larger by the day and it seeks to be healed one way or another. The balance of life seeks equilibrium and the tipping point is soon approaching.

To project our current crisis onto the Illuminati, the Bilderbergs, the Republicrats or some other third party is a convenient way to take the co-created responsibility out of your hands and put you in state of indentured victimtude. Yes, there is corporate greed. Yes, there are those who have a shit load of power that are making things indelibly worse. But guess what, you drive the car that consumes the gas that is running out of short supply that is found in foreign countries that we want to bomb to take control of it or found in areas that can only be accessed by raping the very Earth that provides us our daily bread. You buy the products that are manufactured by the poor in poor countries who are owned by multinational corporations that have executives that earn a gazillion times more because they are really good at taking advantage of humanity. You buy the food that is raised in holocaust-type environments that use copious amounts of toxic chemicals and that spill tons of it into our waterways. The list goes on.

Now, I fully admit my own role in this co-creation. I did, and to a lesser extent still do, some of those things listed. I still own a vehicle, but is on the market. I still buy some plastic products that are the bane of this Earth. I buy produce that had to be shipped to its location. But what I am doing is transitioning. I, along with my two friends, are moving our way to sustainable sanctuary, one emotional step at a time. I do not intend to come off judgmental or holier than thou. I am intending to bring into awareness our own responsibility in the current situation and that it takes time to move from one lifestyle to another. From unconsciousness to consciousness.

Collapse and healing will be one in the same when it happens on a grander scale. When costs skyrocket or delivery is stopped, and you can’t get the things you once took for granted, there will be an emotional response. You will go through shock, anger, depression, or other uncomfortable feelings. Others will do the same. The solutions to get those old needs met will range from barter to theft and maybe worse. When medications are abruptly taken away, the parts of us that needed them will do what they need to get them back depending on the level of dependency. And I am afraid the world is full of medicinally-dependent people. I was one of them, and still have a few to heal through.

My purpose is to wake something up in someone. Make a connection or two. You may just ignore me, but you would also be ignoring yourself and I am not okay with either. You may just call me a doomer or a hypocrite (because I am using a computer which is fueled by electricity which is fueled by some non-renewable source), but you would be missing my point and I am not okay with that either. I honestly want you to wake up. I want you to take a step in the direction of real change and empowerment. For yourself, humanity, and the planet. Feel for yourself what is happening in the world and to the world. Feel what is happening inside yourself and to yourself. They are one in the same actually. And when you really feel that, you have only one choice. Take responsibility, take back your power, and heal your way to sanctuary.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 19: Money Is Actually Chasing You


You weren’t born to chase money. You were born to be. From being and rest and stillness was meant to arise your power and trust and true work. Feeling is what returns you to your natural state of being, rest and stillness. Being, rest and stillness moves you naturally towards giving your deepest gifts where gift exchange naturally supports you and your needs in the world. Money is actually seeking you, you were not meant to seek money.

Wayne – Bit of an emergency meeting here, Yeshua, if we can.

Yeshua – Of course we can. What’s up?

W – I know we said we were going to wrap or pause our series on money in order to integrate all that we covered already, and it’s only been a few days, but I miss you….

Y – I miss you too…

W – And I feel a bit of a panic, a small panic, as Jillian and I looked at our money situation yesterday, some new bills came into the picture and it feels tight inside again.

Y – How can I help?

W – I always feel lately how it’s mostly an old conditioning coming from a part of me that is wrestling with what gets kicked up around a money pressure. I’m glad to feel less fusion and more separation between me and that feeling. That helps a lot. But I still want to help this part of me not suffer so much in the journey I’m taking in making choices and changes that directly affect our money flow. I also feel to transparent this too for others who resonate to follow.

Y – Hmmmm…

W – I also want to have more clarity and guidance for any actions that I need to be taking.

Y – What comes to me first is something I’ve learned from you actually.

W – Really, I could use a reminder.

Y – Anything that you encounter in life that triggers a strong feeling reaction simply needs to be felt. Having a feeling felt instead of just having a feeling is the digestion and healing point.

W – Don’t let me stop you…

Y – Let’s go personal instead of mental.

W – Okay.

Y – Tell me what does the money tightness feeling feel like for this part of you?

W – Well, It feels tight, …squeezed, like some of the goodness of life as we know it is seriously threatened to be taken away. The things that I/we like and feel attached too, especially after all the downsizing we’ve recently done. There’s a fear of being forced into difficult or hard circumstances.

Y – Can you just enter the room of this part of you who still feels these reactions and just be in its reality to actually feel this fear, the textures of it, the powerlessness of it, the hurt and pain of the threat of loss? Can you do that right now?

W – As I just let in this parts’ reality to have real time entry into my consciousness and not to be suppressed by any other part of me who would medicate that pain down, I can feel how the powerless feeling is actually connected to my powerful feeling. I can feel a digestion and a moving of the intensity. It’s been moving some overnight, but I needed to be with it consciously and with your input. I can feel this part of me opening out into trust and relaxation and also an arising empowerment.

Y –  This is the real work, Wayne. Chasing money to support a lifestyle that’s been constructed to keep anyone too busy to feel is just that….a medication to not feel. Working for money is a wimp’s way, someone who has been disempowered to navigate their feelings, their choices, and their life.

W – I’m liking the feeling of what you are saying, but I need a contrasting statement to help me fully embrace it. What would an empowered picture look like?

Y – Choosing to be in life where feeling is job number one reconstructs and deconstructs your lifestyle into movement towards your authentic self’s reason and true purpose for being in life. You do the feeling……life and the divine and your authentic self will bring you the choice points and movements that it has been aching for you to take. You weren’t born to chase money. You were born to be. From being and rest and stillness was meant to arise your power and trust and true work. Feeling is what returns you to your natural state of being, rest, and stillness. Being, rest, and stillness moves you naturally towards giving your deepest gifts where gift exchange naturally supports you and your needs in the world. Money is actually seeking you; you were not meant to seek money.

W – Money was meant to find me…

Y – Money was meant to be a means of value exchange. If you are giving your best value to life itself, life is going to keep short accounts and keep them settled. Money is just a handy way of exchanging value. Now money has been so invested with unfelt feelings of scarcity and powerlessness that its utility as a value exchange is being greatly reduced. But all of that is a collective death and rebirth of what having a life really is.

Y – There’s been so much work ethic piled on to the false structures around money that most are simply too busy to feel and be. Life is relentless though in its invitation to feel and be regardless of the stage of anyone’s disconnect.

W – Wow, so being and feeling is what wins out.

Y – You’ve certainly witnessed this time and time again.

W – I know, but old conditioning is done when it’s done I find.

Y – Feel the leading edge of your being holding and feeling the farthest reaches of your trailing edge. Nothing is more rewarding work. Nothing sorts out your relationship to money like it.

W – I think that gives me the Yeshua juice I needed today.

Y – That was easy.

W – You say so much in one way and so little in another, and somehow it all feels held and addressed.

Y – All part of living an earning.

W – Living an earning…?

Y – I live what I’ve earned. I keep doing the heart and feeling work. It rewards me with a consciousness and ability to be in life in surprising ways, and gives me plenty of goodies to trade to get my needs met too.



W – 🙂

Y – 🙂

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 18: Pressed Out Of The Nest


Pressed, moved, changed. Everyone, bar none, is entering a time of unprecedented pressure and big movement. Kicked or pressed, you decide. You have a lot of say though in where that pressure will take you if your appetite is aligned with the desire of the universe.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Good Morning.

W – Yeshua, I’m wondering if we’ve covered where we needed to go for now, as in pausing soon?

Y – I can definitely feel you digesting a whole bunch and shape-shifting your way into this.

W – I can too. I have an internal experience of a man being between two worlds at times.

Y – How is that for you?

W – Well, it’s a tension for sure. I feel my old orientation and conditioning towards life and money arise, but it’s like an elevator that doesn’t reach the top like it used to. I feel impulses to act in certain directions and then I feel an acknowledgment that I just don’t have the same energy for the particular undertaking,…am I making any sense?

Y – I’m tracking…so what happens next?

W – Well, I rest and breathe some more, which might be busy and active in some ways, but I let the itch bake a while longer. In this new reality, I feel a good kind of rest and peace particularly in the rearview mirror, but looking ahead is where the tension still comes up.

Y – And then there’s what’s actually happening in the present, that you aren’t efforting or orchestrating to your conscious mental knowledge, but YOU are taking the tension of the unknown, insecurities, taking them into your heart where they are transmuted into your soul purpose and calling.

W – I feel that’s true, and yet I feel I want more of that in my conscious reality. Trusting it. Resting in it.

Y – You always want more. I like that about you,… a lot. But I need to remind you of the need to do the outbreath too where you let in the growth you’ve already experienced.

W – An outbreath in order to make room to let in.

Y – Our whole discussion around a new reality in currency and money is one that arises in you and it only grounds into your or anyone else’s life by living their way into it, from the ground of their life as they know it now, including their money circumstances and all of their conditioning around money. It wouldn’t have any traction if it wasn’t being lived into consciousness. That includes feeling the pressure and conflict between an emerging consciousness pressing against an old conditioning. This pressure point, and it living in you, is where the alchemy of change is occurring. It includes then a willingness to feel the part of you who feels powerless as you move towards deeper engagement with your true power. You’ve proven that willingness, Wayne. It’s felt a bit lonely, but that loneliness is the alchemy of leadership that creates the space for others to join in.

W – Okay, that touched me, hearing that last part. Thank you.

Y – Wayne, in your heart, you know you have touched, felt, tried and proven a way of living that is new, alive and aches for its reality to land in others’ hearts. That doesn’t change when you feel an anxiety arise or a pressure point from your older consciousness. Am I right?

W – A hundred percent, …most of the time. 🙂

Y – Being THAT, in real life, however that looks or manifests, but simply letting it continue to manifest in the way that it wants to, by facing all of your choice points, by feeling all there is to feel, and by pausing to appreciate the ground you’ve covered is what takes you to your destiny, which incidentally is figuring itself out too as you go. This is the human experience. This is the real human currency……..the point of being here. The exchanges and transactions inside of you are filled with abundance, appetite, and satisfaction. They then in turn shape and recreate the transactions outside of you, with others. That’s the new economy.

W – I like everything you just said, but I feel an undercurrent of being kicked out of a nest, the nest of our dialogue, and being pressed back into my life.

Y – Kicked?

W – Okay, that came from a more fearful and afraid place. Pressed is more accurate.

Y – Pressed, moved, changed. Everyone, bar none, is entering a time of unprecedented pressure and big movement. Kicked or pressed, you decide. You have a lot of say though in where that pressure will take you if your appetite is aligned with the desire of the universe.

W – Which is…?

Y – What is it to you, Wayne?

W – It is being in a place where I feel myself continually being remembered back into love, feeling and knowing embrace, comfort and peace. Deep self love, deep God love, deep love with others.

Y – That’s a pretty good description of the real energy and need underlying everyone’s relationship with money. The need is so profound that left unsatisfied, it turns up the shit of greed. Both the need and the greed though point us back to our shared essence which is being at home in love.

W – Where we can never be homeless or go without.

Y – Where even if you lacked shelter, or went hungry, you wouldn’t ever doubt that you were and are loved and deeply cared for, and that every experience that came into your life is guiding you to more of your real you.

W – And an experience that I needed, and that my soul chose, and Okayed….

Y – Yup.

W – Feels like a solemn ending, or pause place for us.

Y – All of this includes light and fun for sure, but heart open and solemn choice and guts is required. It feels like a good note to conclude on or pause on for now, because anyone’s embrace of this is a point of deep choice. Life always brings around choice points, It’s up to us to check the bus schedule and show up.

W – Thank you, Yeshua, for showing up so exquisitely for this series together.

Y – Let’s find other shit to talk about soon.

W – Totally!

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 17: You don’t go through money; Money goes through you


Transactions in this currency would not in any way harm or deplete either party, or the environment. The currency itself would be about managing abundance and co-creativity, rather than a currency designed to reinforce the current chosen picture of scarcity. Instead of having your life grounded in deep dissatisfaction and despair, simple hunger and desire would lead to expending our energy for what so deeply rewards and satisfies, moves through you and a natural hunger for more returns.

Wayne – Good Morning again, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Yeah, good morning to you. You seem to like mornings.

W – Always have for some reason.

Y – Are you feeling any better?

W – Yes, I so am. It’s back to the gym today and chasing Jillian.

Y – Sweet, I’m glad for you. Illness may actually be a good thing, but it’s also a good thing to be done with.

W – Not a clue where we might go today, but feeling so juiced from our recent conversations, I thought I’d check in, connect, and see again where we might end up.

Y – I love how we are approaching this, freeform, feeling, following after desire. If you feel your desire today, what does it tell you?

W – I feel its appetite whetted by all that we’ve opened out and I feel an impatience too to embody deeper what we’ve been discussing. There’s a definite impatience created by our dialogue. Part of me looks at my way with my currency and my relationship with money and judges that I am part of the old and part of the new. That part wants to expedite the getting rid of the old.

Y – Yeah, I so get that feeling too. Desire and impatience is prodding and pressing while nature says, I’ll be done when I’m done. All movement in your life is sacred, and movement needs the old as part of the picture. And you need the space to feel how the old held you, was such a deep part of you, what it gave to you. All of that is part of the precipitation of letting go and letting arise what is so powerfully and naturally and unstoppably arising in you by virtue of your desire and permission. This is actually the magic you crave to be in. It’s right now. It doesn’t need a future picture to be valid.

W – Back to that sunglasses thing where we need to dim the power and goodness of the moment because it’s too much to bear…..

Y – If your greatest need is love and there is no shortage of that love, then something else must be at play that creates the picture of your needs not being met, and fear of loss.

W – We choke on abundance. I so get that, Yeshua. We’ve created a money system it seems to reinforce this false reality of scarcity upon ourselves in our every exchange. But why would we do such a thing?

Y – If love really is so vast and fulfillment so infinite, then any deeper level of its experience also lets in a capacity to feel its absence.

W – But you said it’s not absent in reality?

Y – But you only long for what you haven’t yet embodied. You know something more is there, you open yourself to it, you grant it permission to enter your life and then you wait as it at arises more desire and process and movement in you. Its absence is self created and so is its manifesting presence.

W – Wow, Yeshua, I guess I’m just a bit of a change hog. I like change, and I can, of course, feel where I resist it too and fear it actually.

Y – Being in this tension between two is the sweet spot of being in life with desire and love holding you in what can feel like an insanity. You feel the old tugging on you as you enter new territory of your souls’ essence.

W – So what would currency and money look like, Yeshua, that was created in this new arising territory?

Y – Asking for a definitive prophetic picture of what the future will look like can be a resistance to letting the magic of the process simply take you there. Many aspects of that picture will only be known as they are known. It doesn’t begin with knowing where you are going as in having a map to guide you there. You are going somewhere undiscovered and unmapped.

W – We’ll know it when we see it?

Y – You’re knowing it internally, by feeling it and moving with the flow of your life’s calling and purpose. That gives you a signature sense of ‘this is that’ in the moment.

W – Sounds like real adventure.

Y – Totally and now that I’ve made my point of being in the unknown, there are some knowns we can speak of.

W – I’m all ears.

Y – Transactions in this currency would not in any way harm or deplete either party, or the environment. The currency itself would be about managing abundance and co-creativity, rather than a currency designed to reinforce the current chosen picture of scarcity. Instead of having your life grounded in deep dissatisfaction and despair, simple hunger and desire would lead to expending our energy for what so deeply rewards and satisfies, moves through you and a natural hunger for more returns.

W – Complete with really good bowel movements.

Y – Life moving through you instead of you moving through life.

W – Whoa, that thought and feeling keeps expanding and expanding.

Y – Yeah, if you’re looking for a map, that’s probably the best one I could give you.

W – Man, you’re hot.

Y – Life moves through me.

W – Life wants to move through me today.

Y – That should help with the patience conundrum too. Having life move through you is fulfilling regardless of what perceived stage you may be at.

W – Is there a similar statement we could say about money?

Y – Let’s see: …Currency is something that moves through you instead of…… me out here, Wayne

W – Currency is something that wants to move through me instead of something …currency wants to increase its flow through me….hmmm

Y – How about this: You don’t go through money. Money goes through you.

W – Bingo. That got it.

Y – I’m hot stuff.

W – You’re sexy and you know it.

Y – I know what’s moving through you. Better go find yourself some.

W – Thanks again, Yeshua.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 16: Accepting The Terms Of Life As Change And Metamorphosis


In nature, life never ends. Death is not an end, but only a change. When an illness comes into your body, it is seeking to bring change. Life is not trying to make good on a promise of security and safety that it didn’t ever make to anyone. When you entered into your life contract, you knew that. You agreed to that. You actually wanted that. Aliveness only gets it qualities from accepting the terms of life which is change and metamorphosis.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Good Morning, Wayne.

W – I feel a desire to connect again with you today though I’m a bit ‘under the weather’, as we say.

Y – Where would you like to go?

W – I’ve been feeling my resilience to sickness for most of my life. I only got a cold every few years it seemed and then only a mild one. I was kind of proud of it. I figured it had to do with my self employment thing. No one else is going to show up for me. It had a passion and strength about it for sure, but now I’m not so sure of how I had it all wired up. I had a money urgency behind it all too.

Y – What feels different now?

W – Now I’m feeling how when the body calls for downtime and enters what we call a sickness that this is actually a sacred movement of the body, that we either surrender to, or resist, or even negotiate for something in between.

Y – How could I help?

W – I’m curious about your perspective on illness. I feel a big tie to that around our personal currency, but I can’t get to the deeper perspective on it.

Y – Nature’s forces are seen as opposing when really they are the gift of all life to us. An earthquake that destroys a city and takes many lives is actually a huge gift of cleansing and metamorphosis and change. Life never offered to anyone any guarantee of safety. Only false life structures promise guarantee in this way. People who are set on only partially being in life seek out false assurances of safety and play victim to and set up an oppositional relationship to nature.

W – It’s hard to feel a huge and sudden loss of life as a gift.

Y – In nature, life never ends. Death is not an end, but only a change. When an illness comes into your body, it is seeking to bring change. Life is not trying to make good on a promise of security and safety that it didn’t ever make to anyone. When you entered into your life contract this life, you knew that. You agreed to that. You actually wanted that. Aliveness only gets it qualities from accepting the terms of life which is change and metamorphosis.

W – It seems like money and currency is all about the security and safety side of things. If I get the money, then I can be in life in this more adventurous way. Maybe then I  will express my deeper gifts.

Y – When really life is asking you every day ‘Why are you here?’ ‘What do you really want?’ and ‘when will you reach for it?’ The anemic and false and safety oriented self seeks to hold life in a safety pattern where life can be expected to look tomorrow like it looks today.

W – Which makes it kind of interesting then how I did decades of engaged self employment largely escaping even cold symptoms for so long.

Y – The pursuit of safety can look very passionate and engaged. You had this ‘I will overcome nature itself’ kind of resolve to you which was admirable to many, but now you are moving to a place of moving with nature instead of being in resistance to it.

W – What does being in life on nature’s terms look like? Can you say more?

Y – Well, it’s really about feeling this piece about surrender to change. As you let that in and are present to it, that creates a reverence for the opportunity that is in this moment, whether it be a seed time, harvest, or anything before or between those. The money systems we’ve created were an attempt to overcome the cycles of nature, to find a domain where continual harvest could occur, where metamorphosis is overcome.

W – Even in this moment, I can feel my brain only engaging so far with the symptoms in my body. Even receiving what you are saying feels a bit foggy, but I felt I wanted to connect with your energy from this place too, to feel what’s real.

Y – What’s real, Wayne, is that life itself moves you. You don’t need to make life work.

W – I sure related to my money world as one big efficiency game. An efficiency of my body’s energy, staying healthy in order to produce more; my psyche efficiency, liking what I am doing and being liked by the people hiring me. Where it lost ground for me though was feeling how I was more and more overcoming something, fighting something. I had it all wrapped up in a feeling of ‘I just need to get ahead.’

Y – I just need to get ahead of what?

W – I just need to get ahead of the demand.

Y – What demand?

W – The demand of the bills. Whether the literal bills in the mailbox, or the bills of keeping up with maintaining my self image to the people in my life.

Y – What if part of you made up that demand as one big negotiated way of being in life?

W – I so get that. But why? Is it really all about safety?

Y – Being in life is being embodied. Embodiment is the acceptance of having needs and wants. Feeling your vulnerability to your needs and wants is being alive. Responding to your needs and wants is alive, and surrender to being in life. Making an enemy of these needs and wants is the fundamental offer in your money systems. I will get enough money so that my needs and wants won’t be an issue.

W – But needs and wants aren’t comfortable in the deadness of false guarantee, so they make themselves ever larger is how it seemed to me.

Y – Till an earthquake rumbled through to address the imbalance.

W – So, Yeshua, what does the new world look like then of surrender to my needs, having meaningful and fulfilling exchanges, coming out from under the yoke of safety and guarantee?

Y – If I described it adequately, would that make you willing to buy into it some more?

W – Well, a sales brochure wouldn’t be such a bad thing, would it?

Y – The offer, the magic, the result, the fulfillment, the meaning, the orgasm of it all is offered to you and anyone in any moment of your choosing. Connecting with the vulnerability of your real needs and wants brings you to the place where your divinity and humanity are not at odds. The experiences that arise from here profoundly and cumulatively change the trajectory and conditioning of your life at a rate and pace that you can self lovingly bear. Each person will need their own confirmation of that and it’s their birthright to have that.

W – Mine by right of my birth. I like that. I’d like to have my needs tied more and more to that, than to the false treadmill that I gave so much of my life to.

Y – Life actually does promise safety or security, but its security and safety is rooted in the reality of feeling loved and held in the midst of never ending change, rather than an exemption from change.

W – Well, if this illness I’m in the midst of is helping to rewire me for that, then I accept the gifts it brings me.

Y – Many of life’s deepest gifts can only come to you in your stillness.

W – Thanks, Yeshua, I’m needing to rest now again.

Y – Thank you.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 15: Being Transparent About Your Inner Polarities


What’s eroding is not the integrous self, but the false and impure self structures in people and governments founded on corruption. It masqueraded successfully for a long time hiding its incongruence. What’s arising now is an integration of transparency that doesn’t dissolve the false self, but rather illuminates it into consciousness where its needs can be felt and loved and honored for the service it gave.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua. Are you up for another round today?

Yeshua – I am if you are.

W – Well, it’s a full day of stuff to do, but I do feel a desire to hold our track. It’s so moving and changing me and everyone I know of that is following our dialogue is reporting profound shifts inside of them too.

Y – I like the seriousness with which you hold this, Wayne. I wouldn’t show up with my share for a half commitment. Half in, half out is the plague of our times.

W – I was minded to ask you about taxes and governments, but already I feel you moving in another direction.

Y – We’re often of the same mind, Wayne. Let’s go where we go. We may find they intersect powerfully.

W – You were saying about the plague of our times…….

Y – Yeah, half in-half out. Everywhere. Politicians want to soapbox about the common good of all that their system and values uphold, but many people can now smell the falseness a mile away and feel the part of them that feels opposite to what they are speaking. This is the dis-integrated self. It claims to be one, when it is in fact two or more opposites. This renders everything they do and say false. And of course they need to keep the curtains drawn and private for this house of cards self to maintain some level of crippled function. It’s the essence of corruption.

W – Okay, that’s a lot to digest right there, Yeshua…

Y – Only because you are so ripe with it, Wayne. You are. So many are. Whole societies are for that matter. The collective is shifting.

W – And I so feel the half in, half out thing as an erosion of our personal currency. Our word and our bond being one.

Y – What’s eroding is not the integrous self, but the false and impure self structures in people and governments founded on corruption. It masqueraded successfully for a long time hiding its incongruence. What’s arising now is an integration of transparency that doesn’t dissolve the false self, but rather illuminates it into consciousness where its needs can be felt and loved and honored for the service it gave.

W – I think I’m tracking…well, I feel a whole bunch being tweaked in a few directions at the same time. Not sure which one to pick up on.

Y – You might say it comes down to the definition of impure……if we were to get a bit more mental here.

W – Please, my mental could use a leg up.

Y – Impure has been defined to mean of some lower moral quality from what is being agreed upon as morally superior. In the puritan tradition, a man had impure thoughts if he looked on a woman with sexual thoughts. Which was and is a major pretzel for that man’s cock. Wow. All of the big three reigning religions share this same cock in a knot way of life.

W – It hurts when you just say that. Ouch.

Y – What impure is really about is a substance claiming to be one substance when it is in fact two or more. The fault is not the two or more part. The fault, or the falseness, is the claim that it’s only one when it’s in fact more than one. The falseness is the hiding.

W – Suppressing some essence of who I am, especially the things that feel incongruent, that I haven’t reconciled, where both sides of the ledger can’t find a balance…

Y – Brings up two sets of books. One book for the half in part and one book for the half out part. Both parts remain at war with the other and suffer as there is no one at home to make reconciliation of the two.

W – When I feel it, it feels like all the suffering in my life could be summed up in what you just said.

Y – And it doesn’t take much to see how money is just a playout of this deep and pervasive split between our humanity and our divinity, between our essence and our image. Money and how it works will naturally just trail effortlessly behind us reflecting our inner movements. It’s just another agreement, a working hypothesis if you will for what we are currently experimenting with. We’re just about done with an entire phase of consciousness. Whole new things are about to be coined into consciousness.

W – But it’s a bit of a major hell in the meantime, Yeshua, wouldn’t you say? You seem…

Y – A bit out of touch with the reality on the ground?

W – To part of me, yes.

Y – See right there, you got an opportunity to bring your half in and half out reality to what I’m saying. You like it, but you don’t.

W – Part of me buys in deeply and resounds with a yes, but I can so feel a part of me, going ‘but, but……..’

Y – That’s the transformation right there. It’s about no longer needing to parade around as one.

W – With my cock in a knot.

Y – Exactly. Even sexuality and gender is not one but two. Polarity creates attraction. Sameness creates boredom. You are not one until you are. The pressure comes off when the efforts to hide and cloak are abandoned. Transparency is your friend and saviour.

W – That feels like the price of admission right there.

Y – Now, back to this part of you who’s saying a ‘get real’ to all of this. First, thank you for your truth. Don’t ever play pretend of going along with something when you aren’t. You will only hurt and harm in the process. The painful reality on the ground you mention needs to be seen in the context of the soul’s journey and humanity’s journey into knowing and discovering itself. Pain and death from a soul’s perspective are not what they feel like to the human playing victim to being embodied as a human. The soul will gladly give its life as it knows it never dies, but only moves its essence through inextinguishable realities seeking to know itself and make the return to love. Every single one of you are expending your life as we speak. It’s about the consciousness you bring to that expense that makes for a different experience that transforms suffering into growth and abundance.

W – We’ve avoided our suffering at all costs.

Y – …putting your money into a bag with holes.

W – Can you help tie this into my tax and governments query?

Y – It’s the great shift I am speaking to that is bringing to light a corruption that has been there all along. As souls, you are no longer willing to give the amount of effort that you did before to the hiding. The shit that is hitting the fan is a long and negotiated allowance for the worlds to now collide. In the playout of that, there is personal choices to make and to negotiate that that feel big, but it really boils down to a choice to keep bringing forth your own reconciliation to all parts of yourself that you discover along the way. One system letting go makes way for the new one to arise. Civilizations have risen and fallen since the beginning of time. Come into the civility of your own heart and let the collective reflect its own discoveries. The collective is now about to be following the individual, instead of the other way around that it’s been up till now. It should be pretty cool to watch unfold.

W – Corruption, reconciliation, impurities, transparency as my saviour…wow.

Y – And the end of the hiding.

W – Thanks again, Yeshua.

Y – You’re welcome Wayne.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.