From Soldier to SOULdier: Healing Into A New Frequency Of Masculinity



Oofff…I feel like I have an abundance hangover. So much in the way of goodness yesterday, in the physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions. It can be a lot for our bodies and heart to let in! I needed to go in for a “tune-up” with Metatron and Co. this morning to re-calibrate to this new atmosphere of love frequency. Last week I mentioned of turbulence.  The bumpy course that occurs as we reach new layers of our essence and is in response to the unhealed parts of us that just can’t let it in.  It is feeling that turbulence while at the same time holding it with reverence and curiosity.  It has a story to tell and a gift to behold.

Mine was feeling a SOULdier aspect in my Metasoul that has responded to life with the meme of “doing what needed to be done” regardless of what was actually real for him emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  Perseverance in the name of loyalty.  But to what he was never quite sure.  Self-image? The greater “good”? Earning your “keep”? He began to feel the battleground was within himself and needed to go back into the lovefield from whence he originally came.

So in all of that there is a passion of persistence and perseverance.  Not giving up when things may get rough.  There is much to admire about it.  It is what helps us continue on this path of ascension and expansion.  But the path is not a straight line.  To a soldier, there is an objective and the means to that objective.  He learned the ability to ignore what was being felt inside that was not in line with this objective.  This is a very masculine approach that has its value, but not at the expense of what is not felt along the way.

We are striving to thrive as human family.  We have so much built-in passion for this.  It is already blueprinted in our DNA.  But the WAY we get there can assist us or hinder us. The old wounded masculine approach does not align with the more yin surrender to presence and trust.  To feeling and BEing.  It can be a hard one for parts of men, and many women, to let in.  It has been such a ingrained aspect to our collective psyche.  A more healed masculine follows his passion with reverence to the love that wants to be offered, not sold.  To penetrate the heart with care and compassion.  To lead with vulnerability and vision.

The loyalty is to Love now.  To the deep well of self-worth and inner romance.  It is to embracing the feminine is all of her sensual mystery and co-leading in a perpetual dance of individuated merging.  This new SOULdier is opening up his heart to the heaven within and paying respect to Mother Gaia that gave birth to him.  He embodies his Divine Self and allows space for his shadow self.  He speaks his truth and owns it with an authority that is willing to be wrong.  He seeks all the goodness and goodies that life and the universe want to offer and deliver.

I feel Leo in this.  The lion of our inner want and desire.  The king of our passion and purpose.  He has birthed us on the other side of something new and imaginable. It is all up to us to choose to let it in.  We don’t have to struggle or suffer anymore.  We do need to feel, but in a way that allows for grounded movement and trust that whatever it is we need to experience is for our greatest good.  This is what SoulFullHeart is leading us into. The healing and maturation of your inner SOULdier to steward a new experience of Love beyond what we have permitted ourselves to feel.

This Saturday we will be digesting, teaching about, and offering a guided meditation to active these Unity abundance frequencies during a group call if you’d like to join us (and we’ll be sharing the teaching/guided meditation portion afterwards on our You Tube SoulFullHeart Channel):

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at



This Extraordinary Life


I live a life that is an ever-evolving mystery that is in always in a state of ebb and flow from one heartline to the next.  It feels like an organic, breathing, and growing entity that is in a state of creative flux and expansion.  I traverse dimensions from one hour to the next, one minute teaching children in China the English language and the next I am entering deep emotional and spiritual domains to assist someone through the valley of their inner woundings to feel a sense of home inside themselves.  From there I am helping Kalayna prepare for her new job with my same company, preparing our weekly museletter which has the energy of nuclear fusion in the form of a love bomb, and then typing this reflection to share before heading out to the beach to take in sacred sun codes and merge with the vast serenity of Gaia’s healing waters.  

While at times this has felt like a series of upshifts and downshifts that have left a part of me a bit discombobulated, I am beginning to transition into this new world of flow and surrender. Of needs and authenticity. Riding the waves of intuition and creativity, sometimes getting rolled over in the surf, but always learning something and growing from the experience.  Life and me are beginning to merge more and more into the present and letting go of what may or may not happen.  What is right or wrong.  What I should or shouldn’t do.  It is taking each step with an open heart and divine trust that what comes my way is what was meant for my highest good and growth. To deny or resist them is denying the love that wants to set me into greater heights of experience and awareness.  

There are difficult moments and I am still learning to move with them with as much vulnerability and integrity as possible. Without them I am plateaued and that is not why I have drawn this way of life to inhabit with as much honor and leadership as possible.  It is a life that is lived from one moment to the next, with still having sights on a grander picture of abundance and experience.  There is no intention less than creating a community of SoulFullHearts that expand the globe and the galaxy.  This is no joke.  We left Canada and the US to let go of what was conditioned.  One day we will leave Earth too, to explore new horizons that parts of us can only let in as imagination.  

But there is work to do. Good, heartful, soul expanding work. It is is remarkable life and it is extraordinary.  It has its growth moments but they are all meant to lead us the next and the next, in Love, to Love, for Love, and with Love.  

If you are curious about what the SoulFullHeart Way of Life may offer you in your journey toward MORE, you can join us in our next group call this Saturday at 11:11 CST, hosted by Jelelle and Raphael Awen and contributed to by Kalayna Colibri and myself.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

The Cracks Of Authenticity Let In Real Love


There is a moment in our lives when it all just hits the fan. The way we used to interface with the world no longer has any juice left.  The cracks in the facade start to weather, and you just can’t roll with things the way you used to.  You can’t be false. Then the only thing you can really do is shut down, go crazy, or start being honest with yourself.  This is where life gets real and that can be difficult to this part of you that has protected you and tried to find love the only way it knew how.  But it is tired and it is looking for You to come into the picture and help put it all in “order”.

When it is time to let go and get real, it can be a very uneasy process.  There are so many tricky places and conditioned responses that can send us in a wild goose chase for our golden egg of authenticity.   There are painful obstacles and trip-wire sabotage.  Yet there are also glorious movements that bring the walls down and bring in the light of real love from the core of what we truly are.  These times of deep emotional upheavals are like love magma that is looking to surface and coat the pain of what was unfelt.  With a deep spirituality, you can be held during these times by something greater than the pain.

It is going into our emotional wounding that actually gives the spiritual body its depth and meaning.  It is not at all separate, but intrinsically connected to our emotional body. We can live very content emotional and spiritual lives on the surface, but when we consciously choose to enter into something that goes to the core of our BEing we find that we have only just begun to become aware of what we really are and can be.  But as with any real growth comes the price of deep feeling and the transaction of real love.

I can feel the next layers of what eventually needs healing in my emotional body that only comes when divine timing and situation has coalesced to bring that to my awareness.  It can generally take you by surprise and create reactions that are just so perfect for where we need to go to grow.  I have times feeling a part that doesn’t want to “go there” only to assure it that what lies on the other side is more goodness and more love.

This process of emotional and spiritual maturation can be very challenging and difficult to navigate on ones own.  It is being held and guided by others, in community, that serve this very rewarding pathway.  You may find yourself in times of deep personal process that needs a bigger You to show up to, but know that is all part of what is being given to you as a gift for further deepening of emotional and spiritual consciousness.  Knowing there is Love on the other side is what keeps you going and growing.

To feel more about what this the burgeoning new way of life may have to offer you, I invite you to attend our next SoulFullHeart group call this Saturday at 11:11 AM CST.  We will be offering teachings about bridging to your emotional body and your spirituality and a guided meditation to connect with your emotional body (plus individual sharings):


Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

What Love Wants



I want you to feel free my beloved

Free to be real, to be vulnerable, to be open

Free to be cautious, uncertain, and afraid

I want you to be able to let in more, not less

To let in that you are desire and desired

That you are alive and living

That you are right and not wrong

I want you to remember your value and worth

Your beauty and sensuality

Your capacity and ability

I want you to trust that you ARE lovedust

That it cannot be taken from you

Only hidden and buried

I want you to know that I know it is hard

That true and pure love can burn and hurt

That it can pierce and collapse

All you thought I was, but turned out I wasn’t

I remember how you never got what you needed

What you wanted

What mattered the most

And I remember how you needed that to remember

What you truly are

I am not going anywhere

For no matter where you go

What you do







Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at


Sail Away: A Poem To Beyond


Picture by Christian Schloe

Sail away
Away…. beyond the gravity and into your levity
Where nothing holds court other than your own limitation
Your own deprivation

You are not to be denied
Unless you feel the need to decide
That it is all too much for you to let in
The truth of your own creation

It is all so there for you to have
For you to own and mold
Into the image of your long lost dream
You buried so long ago

Don’t give up my beloved
My glorious angel and magician
For you own the key AND the door
It is a matter of choice….of believing….of trusting

Do you want to continue letting it all define you?
Instead let the possibilities imbibe you
Refine you
Deconstruct you into constructing you

Back, forward, up, and out
Beyond what the chatter is claiming of you
Of clinging to you
Afraid to losing you….unable to protect you

For you are Free
If you choose to Be
Spread that mind’s canvass to it fullest length imaginable
Open that heart to the widest aperture enjoyable

Tell the world that you are here for more
More than just what you have continued to settle for
More than the picture that was painted….
Debated…. Indoctrinated

The end of this world is the beginning of You
The unending surprise of your fear’s demise
Into the vast ocean of surrendered devotion
To the broadcast of your heart’s limitless evocation


Inspired by my beloved teacher and friend Raphael Awen


Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

The INvitation Of Our Truth

There can be nothing more difficult yet relieving than owning your own truth. This can be a truth that has been illuminated about yourself by some outer reflection, or it can be a truth in relation to another. To come to these truths can be a process for some, an open flow for others. Our truth, which is really about our needs and desires, may be grounded in an unhealed aspect of ourselves but that does not make it any less authentic or real for us.
It is letting that truth out into the space of expression that allows us to really feel how that truth resounds in our hearts and in others. This is where parts of us may balk at this truth-telling as it has many rippling effects. It can hurt hearts and shatter self-image. It can lead to suppression in the name of care-taking, which is far from Love. Love of self and of others.
If there is something “off” about our truth, or if it does hurt, we can be with that in the aftermath, in a way that is held with compassion and self-forgiveness. It is about taking responsibility for it in what ever way that means in a given situation. But to disown our truth, no matter how hard it is or how afraid of it we are, is to disown the part of us that holds that truth. That is to disown ourselves as being alive and real.
Being honest with truth has been one of the hardest parts of my process. It IS the single most important aspect to ascension in my view. By not fully feeling and expressing what is true for us, including parts of us, we are only bringing a limited version of ourselves to the Grand Ballet of Love’s Infinite Dance. Matter of fact we can’t really get through the door with only this version. We can’t really get to see ourselves and what it is that is still in our healing path to be felt. Without BEing in our truth we are still separate and ultimately in suffering. Not on the recipe card for Unity Consciousness.
Feeling the parts of us that relate to truth-telling from a fear place helps to unlock the doors of our deepest and truest self. It does not come without consequence and self-reflection. It is being with any guilt or self-punishment that may arise, knowing that if you are committed to being in your heart every step of the way, your truth will always lead you someplace that it wouldn’t have just sitting in the wells of your inner terrain.


Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

The Gifts Of Exploring Conscious Romance


Our intimate relationships are sacred grounds of getting to feel and see ourselves.  We GET to experience what is rumbling inside of us that has been kept at bay in our subconscious.  These parts of us that have been living is a safety zone of incognito through the protection of our comfortability.  When our deepest desires begin to ring out into the cosmos, the mechanics of manifestation begin to offer their services.  But when they do, it is meant to bring up what is needed in order to let in what is wanted.

We aren’t completely aware of what lies in the space between what we feel consciously and what is in our unfelt wounding until we enter the arena of conscious relationship.  In unconscious unions, there are many reactions and emotions that are left untouched and unexpressed in our part’s desire to maintain image and safety.  These are sacred unions in there own right as they are meant to serve us into a new dimension of relationality when we have chosen that other sacred journey of growth and deepening.

These conscious relationships will manifest in ways that may or may not come in the ways or forms parts of us may have expected.  They come to us to help elucidate the woundings and projections that are still residing inside of us that, when held in conscious relationship inside of us through parts work, can bring us to new depths of both inner and other intimacy.  However, there can be a LOT to feel and integrate along the way.  There can be a tendency for parts to exit, to go back to what was more comfortable to them before.  This is a point where, if true growth, self-love, and intimacy are the ultimate desire, we hold these parts within us and feel what the fear is truly about.  What experiences in this or another life are contributing to the need for retraction?  These can be difficult yet necessary to feel if we are to continue on our way to more authentic, conscious, and intimate transactibility.  The way to Love!

Our vulnerable truth in any moment is our guide in this dance.  There is no guarantee we won’t step on our partners toes and cause some pain.  We aren’t meant to be perfect or “right” in the way we reveal ourselves.  In these moments, we cross bridges previously left uncrossed to change the timelines of the old and create something new.  It may not be pleasurable, yet it could lead to something more pleasurable than what parts of us were expecting or ironically afraid of in the first place.  For if the bond deepens and rises, what more is there to experience and how far might we fall as it keeps going?  This is what is really at stake for these parts of us.  Being left with the pain of being hurt once again.  Yet with a true sense of an authentic, centered self, we are big enough to feel and hold our way through the process.

Conscious romance is the next frontier for our evolution as a species.  Both inner and outer. It starts inside of us first and extends outward.  It is why we are here in many ways.  To explore this deepening and expanding that can create a new world of possibility, creativity, and aliveness.  Whatever happens in the process you can be guaranteed that you will experience and discover more about You and what it is you really want from Life and Love.


We will be teaching more about sacred union, offering a guided meditation, plus space for individual sharings during a Sacred Union Group call this Sunday at 11:11am CST if you would like to join us for a $11 min. If you can’t join us live, we’ll be sharing a recording of the teachings and meditations here on FB.


Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at


Owning Your Truth And The Changes That Brings


By Raphael Awen

Try as we may, none of us can live long on someone else’s truth.

As the events of our lives unfold, the universe calls us to claim our own truth, to stand in that truth, and to accept and take responsibility for the consequences that come with holding and living out that truth.

Vulnerably and heart open, we can now say, ‘this I believe with all my heart’, or ‘this is what feels the MOST true to me and this is what feels the most true FOR me’, while we acknowledge that we could be ‘wrong’ or that we might change our truth on any subject at any time in the future. We are simply saying ‘This is near-as-I-can-tell for me, for now’.

I began my adult life holding to an ‘absolute truth’ picture. ‘My truth’, (though I wouldn’t have called it that then), was that ‘thee truth’ was all that mattered, and anything other was the evil of ‘relative truth’ or truth without an anchor in reality.

For many, this is a necessary phase of consciousness evolution. We begin by seeing the world as outside-of-us reality that is in need of concrete, correct and safe definition. We need the world, and some form of ‘God’, and ‘God’s truth’ to be bigger than us, so we can then safely and humbly surrender to this ‘God’ (that we are actually crafting in our own image, but can’t yet see that and take responsibility for that).

As a young man, I chose this absolute truth picture as my truth and lived into it deeply, I inevitably came to the place where my truth was forced to evolve. I came to know in my own truth that ‘God’ had no insecure emotional need to have ‘subjects’ in obedience and compliance to ‘himself’. This then led to call into question one belief after another that could no longer be contained in my absolute truth picture. My entire social world that was built upon this same foundation crumbled as I shared my truth which in turn brought me to entire new vistas of life.

In this way, life takes us to the heart of our chosen beliefs and faces us with a truth telling mirror and invites us to feel what we believe and why we believe what we do. We see in this mirror a reflection of our actual maturity level and next places that life and love is wanting to take us. We come to feel and see that underlying every single belief we hold dear is a reflection of what’s true in our emotional body. Then we see this truth reflected out perfectly in our relationship playouts as life then gives us the opportunity to courageously own our emerging truth and live into the changes this brings.

Beliefs are about a ‘contest’ of 2 or more opposing ideas; a ‘dual’ if you will, based in the ‘duality’ of more than one possibility. While our highest upstream soul reality is a ‘non-dual’ one, where there is only oneness and no need or basis for any duals and contests, we chose to enter this world and expression of duality for a profound reason. My truth is that all duality eventually leads us back to complete and total oneness. However the path to this naturally maturing oneness is through discovering and claiming our individual truths and taking the paths that our truth presents us with. Now, we come to the very enlarged place where we realize that all is love, that every difference is contained in love, and this enlarged place is somehow so very much more than even the oneness place we began this journey from.

What is your truth? What do you feel about life, and love and the universe that isn’t any kind of a convenient copy and paste of other people’s beliefs, or perspectives on life? Are there things you deeply believe, but feel to keep to yourself in a given relationship or situation? What would no longer hiding your truth self-lovingly look like?

This then brings the question too of ‘What opposing beliefs do parts of yourself hold inside of you?’ Can you feel each one of these parts of you and their reason for holding their truth as they do? What would ending this civil war inside look and feel like going forward?

How would your life change if you vulnerably ‘owned’ your truth and accepted the consequences and changes that brought to your life?

Your truth is wanting to move you into new places and relationships to life in many profound ways.

The way, the truth and the life is contained in you.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter:

Feeling the Inner Child, Healing the Inner Father



As men, our fathers represent, or have represented, so much of what we have been “taught” about what masculinity is.  They were a template for us at an early age.  Our model for what we could expect to embody as man in a masculine world.  They also influenced us in how we see and feel the feminine through their eyes and hearts.  They taught us how to fight or run away.  To speak the truth or keep it all buried.  Our worldview has been formed through their own, in response to his father and his father before him, whether in agreement or opposition.

We were meant to be shown the doorways to our own unfolding through his guided wisdom and open heart.  We were meant to be initiated into our own individuated masculinity with a healthy “F you” to him.  He would have honored that had he been taught the same.  I have a sadness in my heart actually on this day.  What is it that is being truly celebrated?  What has happened to our sense of healthy masculinity and how it lives inside of us, both as men and women?

My sadness is both personal and global.  A desire from a part of me to have had a different relationship with my father that wasn’t based in fear or unhealthy idolization. How boys everywhere are looking for an authentically loving and guiding force to shape and challenge them to thrive in an unknowable world.  But in this place there has arisen a passion for something new.  A desire to heal that inside myself for all boys and fathers.

It is about traveling inward to find our deepest truths about ourselves and feeling the inner boy, or girl, in us that was affected, not victimized, by our father’s actions and choices.  To hold space for them within us as a new model for healthy fatherly guidance and security.  To bring our truths and boundaries to our fathers that allows for an invitation for something different and more authentic, if the space for that is possible. Regardless of the relationship outcome, something has moved in the collective heart grid between father and child that allows space for others to do the same and shift a dynamic that has long been overdue.

Our relationship to our parents can by murky territory.  It is full of karmic binds and contracts that have long served there purpose.  It is time for something new and alive. This is true even with my own daughter as she comes back into my life after a few years separation.  A new ground in which we have let go of the old conditioning to build something new as two distinct individuals.  I am sure old energies will surface and that is what we are here to work together.  I look forward to how we navigate this new dynamic between us and what arises between us both.  She is a teacher to me as much as she is a student.

I invite you to feel on this day the relationship you have or had with your father and feel how it lives in you.  We can have such a healing experience within ourselves when we are able to see it and feel it that way.  Our inner father has a voice and it is meant to be a guide and a teacher when we are able to feel him in all that he needs to be felt in.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at



Birthday Tribute To A King

Rs bday

Today is my best friend’s birthday. I cannot imagine what my life would be like without him, but if that came to pass I would have learned what it means to truly be a Man. A man of integrity, of curiosity, and of passion. His love of Life and Love is unlike any I have witnessed. His depth of inhabitation and reverence is unmatched. I am so blessed and honored to have drawn such a beacon of what is possible on the other side of feeling it ALL.

In the midst of great change their lies a man
A man who has weathered great storms
With the reverence and courage of a true King
One who has never been afraid to feel what lies underneath

Underneath the resistance, the doubt, and the fear
To unearth what is real and in both the light and the shadow
To see and feel what wants and needs to be felt
To bring himself to a state of greater consciousness and infinite love

There lies few men that are willing to go the full distance
Uncovering the layers to get to the greatest prize of all
The ability to create the life of joy and purpose that he has always dreamed of
Serving, teaching, feeling, loving

I have been so blessed to have been in your presence
Your guidance, reflection, and brotherhood
This day birthed the best friend a man could ever hope to have
A man of integrity, transparency, and serious f!cking velocity

It has been an honor and a gift to be able to serve with you
Learn WITH you
Love WITH you
Explore WITH you

We have many unknown places to uncover together
Some easier than others
ALL in service of what we were meant to feel and heal
And for that I am grateful

Your leadership of heart, passion, and purpose has been my greatest gift
Thank you for all that you have offered, modeled, and meant to me and my parts
From Emmerich, William, Liam, Bill, Chris, Sequoia, Nathaniel,
Christopher, Raybone, Simon, Christian, and Xavier

We love you….from one man’s heart to another

Happy Birthday Raphael Awen




Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at