The Velveteen Rabbit Within Us All

Digesting a lot in the aftermath of completion. My heart and consciousness still calibrating to a new reality post-marriage. There are ghost-like sensations throughout the day, things that I would normally have responded to are no longer there. It is a bit of a emotive and cognitive dissonance yet that is the very thing that lands me back into me.

Me.

Who is that even? I am beginning to become aware of who I was and which parts of me were in response to all of the relationship dynamics. I do feel a core self that has been there but the degree to which “he” showed up is still in question. That is the current process. Taking stock of where “I” was and who this “I” even is.

It is not so much existential or judgmental as it is curious with compassion. That is what allows the shadow to come out and be seen and felt. Just hanging outside the cave entrance and letting it know that I am here to be a friend and a caring advocate. Not a punisher or a hunter looking for extradition.

When we go through emotional times like this it can be so easy for a part of us to go into “fix it” mode or into the blame/shame game. Instead there is an opportunity here for us to get to some tender and profound understandings of what make us who we ARE and who we want to be going forward. This makes all our experiences sacred and meaningful. We get to come in contact with aspects of ourselves that are deep need of love and forgiveness.

Through this experience I will find something that may not look “good” or feel good, but if my Higher Heart is leading the way I can guarantee I will find something that will be real and that is what any of us can hope to aspire to. Just ask the Velveteen Rabbit.

******

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INtimacy over INvisibility

By Raianna Shai

I haven’t written a post in a while as a lot has been shifting and growing in my world. A couple of weeks ago Kalayna and I spent a few days on Salt Spring and just this week we all spent time camping in Goldstream.

One theme that has been popping up a lot for myself as well as my entire community is intimacy in relationships. I have always had this tendency and even desire inside of me to be invisible. I was incredibly shy as a child, I never rose my hand in class, I chose to blend in for any social interaction. I had absolutely no desire to be seen or more vulnerably, to be judged by others.

It’s easy to get into a “mode” in every relationship in your life and it doesn’t take long to establish, even with new people. We find what frequency is most comfortable and what allows us to get along with this other person. What gets hard is when something gets triggered or rubs against something inside of us.

I have found that most people either push away their reactions towards others, judging them as unfair or just not worth it, or they push their reactions on others, without feeling what the impact might be or what’s going on inside of them. Both of these strategies allow us to hide, to put away the deeper and more vulnerable parts of us that go against the already agreed upon frequency that you have established in the relationship.

Parts of me fear that my truth will either end the relationship or deepen it. Both risking being seen for more than my persona. Going against the grain of what is comfortable in relationship is exactly what intimacy is all about.

You tell your truth, as messy as it gets, until one day you are transparent in every moment. Until you have no fear locking you into place and all of your words come from love for yourself and love for other. Until you trust that losing a relationship is okay and deepening a relationship is okay too. Until you are so centred inside of yourself that no level of intimacy can scare you away. Even when fear comes up there is progress and honesty about it all. That is when community can flourish and become something new and never done before.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

July’s Energies Unsentimentally (Though Lovingly) Moving Us To NEW Timelines

By Kalayna Solais

Energy Update: So this morning I finally managed to spill tea ALL over my laptop… sigh! What is normally such a carefully placed (and essential for getting up and teaching online SO early in the morning) item was spontaneously dropped, complete butterfingers, out of my hand and directly onto my beloved computer.

Thankfully I can work through my iPad and it was unscathed somehow in this storm of hot flying tea.

What was interesting about this was what was offered last night when in meditation before bed.

I was offered that these July energies have the potential to feel “unforgiving”. Not unloving, yet they can feel unforgiving or perhaps it’s better to say “unsentimental” in showing us and parts of us exactly what needs to be taken care of or let go of.

In my case, of course there’s the relationship I am continuing to let go of, but now also my laptop which was bought used in Mexico and actually hadn’t been doing that well lately… I had been taking care of it as best I could, yet it still had the energy of an old timeline of poverty, lack, and the energy of hiding that I had been in somewhat when living in Mexico for four years. Just being back in Canada since November has been SO catalytic for me and for the others in my community here. It’s been both phenomenally easy to be here and challenging at times too with many deep processes coming up and ripples through all of us as we deepen our relationship to ourselves and each other.

The ‘black moon’ at the end of this month, in addition to what I’ve heard is a super intense phase of many planets going retrograde, means that we are being asked to take some leaps into new timelines for ourselves. These leaps are not expected to be easy. The need to ground into ourselves, our bodies, our hearts, is big right now. Grounding in by feeling parts of you in reaction to what’s coming up is important and helpful.

More on what I mean by ‘parts’ here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

2019 has been intense and somewhat rough in many ways. Even with Disclosure taking place more in ways long expected and hoped for, we are being shown ripples that can only get bigger and reach farther, including inside of all of us. Embracing your inner disclosure by feeling what has been in shadow is something beyond helpful right now and will help ease you into all of the outer changes coming in.

For more direct support of whatever you’re navigating through, 1:1 sessions are available with myself or other SoulFullHeart Facilitators: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Secret: Feel The Parts, THEN Manifest

By Raianna Shai

**TLDR; I’m starting a project of reading all of the most popular spiritual books that I hear of to learn about what others are taking in so that I can share my own personal take on them. In “The Secret” I resonate with the idea of manifestation and our capacity to draw whatever it is we want. However, I believe that you have to feel the blocks that are in the way and the parts of you that don’t feel your power. They have very good reasons to feel this way and shouldn’t be bypassed in this process.**

I grew up in a spiritual household for a good portion of my life. The sweet scent of incense, the soothing sound of meditation music, a mother and step father that would talk about their spiritual and emotional explorations. But to be honest, I wasn’t all that into is as something to deeply explore myself as a teenager.

By the time I chose to try SoulFullHeart with my family I still hadn’t had a phase of spiritual exploration that most young people have when newly awakening. Because of this I really just have the SoulFullHeart lens that, while it resonates on every level so far, isn’t something that most people know about. Especially people my own age.

So I decided that in order to truly understand spiritual people my age, I could start by reading the most popular books from the classics to the more modern takes on spirituality. I really want to dive into the heart of someone who has a buffet of spiritual beliefs to dive into and figure out how I feel about it myself. So the next time someone brings up “The Power of Now”, I can have something to digest about it.

————————————————————————————————

The first book I’ve chosen to dive into is “The Secret”. I first saw this documentary on Netflix and tried to watch but couldn’t quite get into it. It felt a bit dramatic to be honest and it energized this feeling that this is something that has been taken away from us to remove our power and make us feel like we can’t change every fiber of our daily lives. I do agree that there is a veil in place that stands in the way of the ultimate capacity of our beings, but I also feel that we chose this and that a big part of why we’re here is to heal enough to dissolve this veil.

For those of you who haven’t read this book, the secret they are referencing is the Law of Attraction. It says that like attracts like – which means that whatever you think is attracted to you. If you think that you are poor, you will be. If you think that you are rich, you will be.

My first reaction from a part of me was that this seems very oversimplified. I feel that we have chosen certain circumstances and while we have the choice to heal them or not, some things are just meant to happen whether we think high vibe thoughts or not.

However, I do resonate with the idea that once we find our absolute joy and become more of our higher selves we will draw and manifest just about anything we want to. I definitely believe in the power of intention and the energy of the universe. I also really like that it encourages you to have gratitude for what you have NOW as a part of it all. Gratitude is such an important part of manifesting something new. Where my feelings differ though are how to get there.

“The Secret” mentions a lot about replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. While that’s a nice sentiment I think it takes something different and some hard inner work for everyone to get to this positive and joyful place. For me, it is parts work and the process we do in SoulFullHeart. For someone else it might be breathwork or shamanism. I feel that if you can get deep enough inside of yourself to reach the parts of you that don’t believe in your power or joy, then it is a fast track to feeling exactly that.

I think it’s a very empowering and expanding practice to picture and energize exactly what you want in your life. It sends a message out to the universe and it will manifest for you. Not thinking of the how or when but knowing that you can have it. But it’s also empowering to feel the parts of you that just don’t believe, that feel like they’ll never get what they want. Without first feeling your blocks to manifestation with love and trust, you will have a harder time manifesting anything. These parts have valid reasons for feeling the way they do and I really don’t believe they should be bypassed.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Constant Of Change

By Gabriel Solais

Change is the one thing that we can count on to be constant. That is the marker of our growth whether that change shifts something inside of us, outside, or both. Invariably they are both occurring simultaneously. The deeper gauge is how we are relating to and digesting that change inside.

My world has felt like it has flipped on its axis over the past couple of weeks. I will be writing more about that in the next couple of days. In this emotional ‘pole shift’ a lot has rumbled and it could feel like a catastrophe to parts of me. Kind of like my own personal Atlantis.

In the course of this upheaval, I have given myself to the surges and purges. The depths of feeling that bring rain and then clearer skies, only to roll with another ‘aftershock’ of reality. I have had the fortunate situation to be able to do so at a rate and pace that felt self-loving and not forced, judged, or ignored.

In the roll, I am finding a rock. A sense of BEing that is not hard, but fluid and flexible. Trusting and forgivable. This rock is a deeper layer of a ‘me’ that I continue to learn about and become more intimate with in Love and Awareness. Some good and some things that need to be loved.

And that is the gift of this journey. To find what is True within the Hidden, even when that seems to get flipped upside down from time to time. The essence and purpose of change. If you are amidst a great shift and change in your life there are those that can help you to navigate that with all the grace and pace needed to get to that ‘other side’ and next chapter. It has been a gift to me beyond these words.

More to come…

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Vulnerability In Relationship

By Raianna Shai

I wrote this poem after having just the right day to open up my heart. Whenever this happens every space inside of me that feels like a void fills up with gratitude and appreciation of my environment and the people around me. I was reminded of why I tend to feel guarded around others and how good it feels to be intimate in relationship.

I am very good at being alone. I have always been independent and able to entertain myself quite easily. I thought recently that I would be happier and more opened out living on my own. But the fact that living with others is harder and scarier means it’s probably what I’m meant to be working.

I was feeling how it’s so easy to feel misunderstood or judged by others when you have that living inside of yourself. Whenever my insecurity was high, I found that it was harder to let others in and be vulnerable. I also remembered how much I love physical touch and how important it is to increase the intimacy in relationships. A lingering hug here, a friendly cuddle there. I always saved this for when I was in a romantic relationship because that’s where it felt safe and accepted.

But telling someone what they mean to you and showing physical affection are two things that are bound to be scary. It means you are seeing the other and therefore “risk” being seen yourself. This can bring up a lot of fear if a sense of lack or unworthiness lives inside of you.

I have a big desire to go to the next place in all of my relationships in order to work this push pull inside of me when it comes to intimacy. This poem illustrates the feeling I had of that!

~~~

In the moments that my heart splits open
Gratitude fills every atom of my soul
My body sways with tenderness and care
I want to wrap my arms around every lonely heart
Connecting to oneness and collective love

My fingers trace the edges of my frame
It runs along every crack
Every bump
Every inconsistency
It fills my emptiness with loving energy
It brings out the softness underneath the surface

Soft vulnerability is hard to show
The sweet caress of your own beauty
Uniquely separate from those around you
Yet intertwined in insecurity and fear

I feel overwhelmed by the thought of my loved ones
The way they move through life
The way they see and care for me
When I can’t see myself

You are so brave, dear one
To be a bright green growth
In a grey sidewalk crack
Constantly fearing the underside of passing steps
The shadow side of humanity

I see you, I feel you
I want you, I need you
I feel scared to tell you
That I admire you
And hope you admire me too

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Path To Soul Purpose

Your 20s is a strange and confusing time of your life. It’s the decade when you are entering the “real world”. When there are less handrails and more independence. When you have the space and freedom to choose who and what you want to be.

This can be as equally liberating as it is terrifying. So many people I have talked to, including myself, have moments of feeling like they don’t know what they’re doing with their life or where it’s leading.

There’s a new priority these days of fulfilling a soul purpose rather than living out the traditional lifestyle of older generations. However, we haven’t exactly been taught how to find or live out our soul purpose so we have to feel it for ourselves.

It’s easy to see others who look like they have their life “together” and to judge yourself for where you are at. But one thing I’ve learned is that absolutely everyone is going through something. No matter how much of their life is exactly how they want it to be, there are always moments of self doubt, sadness and frustration.

It’s easy to want to hide away from the world because of this. To not reveal yourself or your intentions until you have it figured out. But the biggest thing we can learn from each other is what it’s like to be in process. Vulnerability is about exposing yourself every step of the way in order to let in more intimacy.

We can spend our whole lives trying to be self sufficient and happy on our own but we do this work in order to share it with others. We are not meant to depend on others but we are also not meant for absolute solitude.

We work towards self love in order to feel love for all. We live through peaks in valleys just like everyone else. The best we can do is feel where we want to be, what’s keeping us from being there, and loving ourselves until our shadow can come to the light of day. It is then that we love out our wildest dreams.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Sobering, Activating, And Powerfully Burning Solar Eclipse Energies

By Kalayna Solais

Darkness, sobriety, landing in what’s real. The bursting of much-beloved (though sometimes also resented) bubbles of what parts of you had held as reality.

This is the energy of the Dark Mother/Madonna face of Divine Mother, powerful and unsentimental yet deeply loving. This is the invitation back inward from this upcoming Solar Eclipse, on the feminine (moon) side of it.

Support to keep feeling what’s real and to make space for the pain that surfaces, yet to FEEL and let in that you ARE supported and deeply loved…

This is the energy of the Father Sun/Metatron face of the Divine Father, helping you activate and step into NEW timelines even through the rubble of what has just crumbled and deeply feeling you and your parts in the sobriety and sadness. This is the invitation of going inward and yet not hiding your newly awakening desires and the Phoenix within you, another energy offered by this upcoming Eclipse. This time from the masculine (sun) side of it.

I feel the sobriety and continuing mirror of this Eclipse and what these energies are offering rumbling through as I write this. It can certainly feel intense at times, especially if you’re shifting from an outward focus and going back inward. This is something I’ve experienced personally with almost every phase of shifting timelines so for me this is an ongoing invitation to keep bringing it ALL back inward, taking in ALL of life’s reflections and letting them help and support me to cultivate more love inside of me, less suffering, more significant movement into the NEW.

Important cosmic events like this Eclipse help bring us back to the foundations upon which we’ve been relating to life and love. They have a way of encouraging old phases and relationships to burn up so we can all begin to see what’s been REAL about them, especially how parts of us have been relating to it all. The masculine and feminine parts of you have their own personal ways with which they relate to all of life and also to each other. It’s important to feel the polarity dance of these energies inside of you in order to understand more of what could be happening, why you could be drawing or not drawing what you are on the outside.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen created a video and guided meditation for connecting with your inner Sacred Union of feminine/masculine that I highly recommend taking in:

I’m finding it especially important and clarifying to check in daily with these energies inside, to see how they’re doing and if they’re flowing together or not. It’s a way to see the ‘state of your INNER union’, if you will. 🙂 Sometimes my masculine is frustrated with my feminine or vice versa. Sometimes one is overwhelming the other instead of actually caring about their impact on each other. When they dance in more harmony and balance and love, alchemy happens. More moments of joy happen. Life just generally feels more empowering and so much better, even if there are still some sobering circumstances moving through.

Eclipses especially seem to bring messages of inner masculine/feminine polarities… the dance between feeling and doing, going inward and flowing outward, INtegration and ACTivation. It’s a highly creative and alchemical time too, even if there’s deep and necessary mourning. There’s always something about returning back home to yourself, your parts, your heart and soul and the consciousness it truly embodies right NOW that helps you step into whatever is ‘next level’ for you, especially next level of love inside.

Much love to you during this much needed and alive, though quite sobering Eclipse phase… collectively and personally. ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

You Will Rise: A Poem For Life’s Changes, Especially When Led By You

By Kalayna Solais

Withered petals

Punctured leaves

Evidence of weathered growth

In soils not fit for your inner garden.

Drained of life force

The life you’ve led

Now taxes the nutrients

That once flowed

To all aspects of your BEing.

To transplant your beautiful Self

To flower once more

And MORE

Brings sometimes dark processes

And NEW ways to relate

To what was once ‘good’

Yet now isn’t enough.

Yet…

All anguish of the unknown

Soon moves into certainty

Courage

And strength

To keep planting in new soils

Until the one that most nurtures

Heart, body and soul

Is the one you’re planted in.

You will rise…

When the darkness feels

As if it never leads to light.

When the tunnel is tight

And the way through is foggy.

The sun rises still

The moon rises too.

There are beacons

And lighthouses

Offering a way

Offering an ‘other side’

As your boat is rowed

Through the din of the old

Letting go.

You will rise

And rise again.

You will arise anew

From the YOU you once knew.

And you will find new ways

To make it through

Moving into

What is truly

Most sincerely

Aligned with YOU. ❤

~

For more info on sessions with me or another SoulFullHeart Facilitator, I invite you from my own ever-shifting and evolving heart and soul to check out: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions ❤

Love,

Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Arising Opportunities For Connection Through Deep Life Change

By Kalayna Solais

Earlier this week, Raianna Shai and I ventured out to Salt Spring Island for a couple of days’ journey… Salt Spring is very easy to get to from here in Victoria, yet I hadn’t been yet and this trip ended up having the most perfect timing with some deep personal changes being navigated recently in my life (more details on that in a future post).

It was wonderful to BE with Raianna in this emerging sense of sisterhood goodness… we have had a bond for quite a while now with her having been a Facilitant of mine in SoulFullHeart, yet we’ve also always had a clear connection on a soul and heart level that goes beyond physical age and even current life experience. Each moment together arose in a new way and we were able to arise in a new way for each other too. I have so much MORE love and appreciation for this feminine being that I get to be in relationship with right now and that feels so good! 😀

Together on this trip we felt a connection on a Metasoul level as we felt our First Nations Metasoul sisters and their own sisterly connection. They danced and chanted and sang and hugged trees while exploring the beautiful, super-natural landscapes of this stunning island and reuniting with us and with each other too.

There’s something about letting go into life changes and feeling the parts of you that are having a hard time trusting them deeply (or at all) that allows for this sort of newly arising set of circumstances and opportunities to really be let in… the bittersweetness of letting go of what was DOES make room for what IS and what will be. Opportunities do come as we continue to feel our hearts and the parts of us that live there, that hurt there, that need healing there.

There’s much to look forward to, but there’s also much to be with in this very moment too, being real about the pain surfacing and being with the parts that are feeling the losses, the cost, the retrospect, the sentimentality. There’s much to take stock of and digest about the past through big life changes yet there’s also much to hold out for, to envision as possible, to see as imminent and to let in as much as you can in each moment.

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.