Love Can Never Be Lost To Trauma

By Raianna Shai

After a traumatic experience, parts of us tend to feel this desire to go back to who we were before the incident. They desire to be blissfully unaware of what is to come, to return to the untainted heart that felt full and content. Or maybe there’s even a desire to return to neutrality and boredom for that feels less painful than where you’re at now.

I asked the Divine that very same question just now in meditation, “When will I return to how I felt and who I was before this all happened?”

I immediately heard a response back saying, “You will never be who you were before any of your life experiences. You will, in fact, be that much closer to love and your true essence. Every human experience you have, whether it feels negative or positive, gives you a closer look at who you really are. A trauma does not take away from love in your heart, for love can never be lost. It can become a story, or it can become learning and growth. It can be lost in the shadow or it can be brought into the light of day to be seen, loved, and healed into something rooted in love. You are always you, nothing can take that away.”

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Advertisements

Telling Your Truth With Both Strength And Compassion

By Raianna Shai

Telling your truth can be a multi-layered and surprisingly complicated process. It’s rare that we are taught how to truly and lovingly set boundaries, speak honestly, and be vulnerable in our relationships. In order to tell your truth from love rather than fear, there’s a beautiful blend of both the masculine spine and confidence and the feminine heart and compassion.

I’ve been learning a lot about my own process when it comes to telling my truth and I’ve realized how compartmentalized it has been for me. I’ve never been all that confident with telling people how they affect me or what I’m really feeling. I am very open about what is going on in my life but when it comes to anything that could cause conflict, hurt, or harm, part of me avoids it like the plague.

One way that I tell my truth is solely from my unhealed feminine heart. This can be beautiful and soft – but without a more masculine holding of it, it can come out meek and small. This is when I will share how someone made me feel but then follow it up quickly with “but it’s not your fault!”. I have this desperate need in parts of me to make people feel safe and comfortable. But this way of being allows people to think that what I have to say isn’t important. That I don’t need them to see or hear me because it’s my responsibility to take care of it and heal. When sometimes, it really is the other person and their energy that isn’t okay for me.

Wrapping conflict in layers of padding and protection, trying to keep it from exploding or becoming real – this isn’t actually loving to anyone. This hinders rather than supports real growth. Being able to tell someone that something they have said or done hurts you brings you that much closer together. It gives you the opportunity to get to a deeper place around it and actually deepen your bond. It doesn’t have to be something that deeply offends or hurts them, it can actually be a way to show them that you care and that you want MORE of them not less. You just want more of who they really are, not more of the walls or protection that allows them to do or say things that hurt you.

Another way of sharing your truth is through pure, unhealed masculine unsentimentality. This is a powerful part of us that can see the bigger picture and make decisions not based in attachment or codependency. But when I’ve shared my truth from this place alone, I have been able to really hurt another person. It makes people feel judged and small and not cared for at all. It does not allow space for the other person to grow because there is no heart there to really feel them in it. Why would a flower want to bloom in the desert?

Then we look at a blend of these two energies. A part of us that has the spine to make hard decisions that is best for everyone and a loving part of us that can create a compassionate space for hurt to arise, be felt, and potentially move in to something new. Without the heart, there is very little room for anything to shift or change in the way that you want. Without the spine, there are rare moments when the heart is really heard and felt.

I have been feeling the consequences of this compartmentalization lately but I have felt so much gratitude for being able to discover why it’s there inside of me and what was even going on when it happened. Now I can learn and grow from my experiences and offer loving boundaries to anyone I encounter next. These strategies simply came from fear for me. A fear of getting really close to someone, of being seen for who I really am, of shattering an image of perfection, of potentially hurting someone else, and so much more. We all have our reasons for being this way – all we can do is learn, grow, forgive, move on and love as fully as possible!

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Seeing, Feeling, Healing The ‘Past’: Mother Mary Transmission

By Kalayna Colibri

This came through this morning as I connected with Mother Mary… a face of the Divine Mother that is key to helping us become love ambassadors to all parts of us and all beings around us. I felt this for myself, as a way to forgive what has been and move forward into more of what and who I want to be, and I felt to share it, because Mary offers so many beautiful frequencies of love and forgiveness that are so so needed now and always. ❤️

“To you, and all parts and Metasoul Aspects of you:

Starting from a young age in this very lifetime, you’ve only ever done the best you could with what you’ve been consciously and unconsciously taught by birth family, close friends, your pursuit of love and intimacy, and your pursuit of spiritual fulfillment, too.

You’ve been invited to fire-walk through the shadows, the challenging phases of figuring out what was theirs and what is actually yours in your heart and soul and BEing… a necessary and sacred process of death and rebirth, and sometimes a very painful one.

You are forgiven for all expressions of not-love you’ve had to walk out towards yourself and others in this process… beyond ‘forgiven’ actually, as you are infinitely and intimately loved by the Divine that holds you and is within you.

You’ve needed to push, to grapple, to tumble and fall. You’ve needed these messy times of awakening and realizing what you want and don’t want, sometimes without much explanation… sometimes hurting or maybe harming others in the process of feeling and finding your boundaries, or even in the holding on to relationships that are no longer resonant.

You’ve led yourself to this very place you are in now, and if this is not a place of deep fulfillment, you’re invited to feel this, to feel the discomfort, to feel the loneliness, to let all of this alchemize your next steps inward and outward. You’re invited, always, into your next steps, which are always leading you home: to the heart and soul that holds you, and the love that is always surrounding you.

Your next choices are arising now… they are small or they are big, yet the impact is the same. You can choose to feel and be felt, to arise and become real, and you can choose to feel and heal the past so you can live in your new present… the one that will always arise as you do, as you pursue it from inside, as you feel the seeds of what you most truly want being planted in the nourishing soil of feeling and healing.

With much love for you, your journey, and everything inside of you…

Mother Mary ~ “

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Supermoon’s Invitation: “Just Feel”

By Raphael Awen

The best advice I can find for myself in navigating these Supermoon energies is ‘just feel’.

My whole life journey can be seen from a perspective of seeing what I might call my ‘pre-feeling’ era, my ‘feeling’ era of all that was backed up and denied, and then to now, my ‘living in feeling’ era. Sometimes, those patterns repeat themselves in a current week or even a day, so it’s not like it’s a watertight completion of any phase, but I can say, for me, that my life is very different having moved through these phases of orientation to life.

I recall sharing with a trusted space holder during my intense phase of deep feeling about an attraction that I was feeling to a woman and what feelings were being pushed up because of it. He took all I shared into his heart and replied ‘just feel it’. That advice rings in my heart today as the most valued words he ever shared with me. It might sound a bit diminutive at first, but really, the opposite is true. Oftentimes, we mentalize a mountain of possible scenarios, reactions, even talking about feelings, while we are still on our way to actually feeling that something.

I can say from where I live and breathe today, that I’ve given my whole life to wanting to really feel all there is to feel. Leaving the once treasured shores of my pre-feeling era, I found like Job said in the Bible, ‘that which I greatly feared has come upon me’ meaning that, there was good reason behind my era of not-feeling. To open myself to feeling was to tear down my constructed life as I knew it, subjecting myself to all manner of unpredictable change. I found however that the waves were self-lovingly manageable, that somehow feeling had its own super intelligence built in to hold all chaos that was pushed up in the process, even while in the middle of any meltdowns. It actually finally felt really good to feel, even if the feeling was a kind of hell.

The Supermoons offer an amped up portal to our feelings. If someone is in a pretty much watertight place of not-feeling, they’ll drift through the phase without much awareness, and just see it as random circumstance – ‘good days, bad days, we all have ‘em’ kind of picture. For those who’ve let go of their own personal not-feeling orientation to life, then these energies push up a what can feel like a ‘shit-ton of shit to feel’ as a reactive part of us might put it, feeling some victimized by the waves, possibly resenting the loss of the good old days where life just was, without all this chaos of feeling.

As I earned my stripes, bumps, and bruises in this lifestyle choice of feeling first, I found that the advice to just feel, can be applied to any and every reaction along the way. I found I could feel the part of me in mourning for the loss of what it felt were better less conscious days, if that’s what came up to feel. I found I could feel and be conscious of any wave of anxiety or depression moving through any part of me and feel what was underneath it. I can feel today the part of me asking questions about what this Supermoon of energy has yet to open me out to.

Whether it’s intense body pain reactions, huge rumbles in relationships, career careening out of control, or anything else it feels like the Supermoon is throwing at you, I believe we are simply and foremostly being asked to just feel.

‘Just feel’ will take us where we need to go with all the self loving debriefings and digestions right on time.

Jelelle Awen and I will be live streaming today at 1:11 pm – Vancouver City Time (PDT) on our SoulFullheart page: https://www.facebook.com/soulfullheartwayoflife/

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

Photo courtesy of Jeffrey Eisen on Unsplash

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

The Bigger Picture For All ‘Soul Groups’ & Their Healing/Ascension Paths

by Kalayna Colibri

There is not one ‘soul group’ to arrive on this planet without a specific purpose and gifts that need to unfold and be discovered. It’s not a matter of one group (or in 3D terms, ‘generation’) being more necessary or gifted than another. Even the ones who came here to deeply inhabit 3D had a consciousness they signed up to become, even in the ways they may be accountable for causing much pollution and other issues on Gaia (something that it feels like Gaia was actually prepared for all along as a necessary phase of Her Ascension).

This is what’s true for any incarnated soul on Gaia during this and any phase… some are more connected to the here and now, some are visionaries for the future, and some are still moving through tension between ‘home’ or Star Family consciousness and the dominant consciousness on Gaia right now, and grounding that somehow into their lives and into the overall Ascension process. There are walls to bump up against and other levels of consciousness to consider and collaborate with too at times. There are obstacles to meet especially inside of us, as we reach down into the layers, barriers, and veils to our love essence inside and lovingly learn to be with them, love them, appreciate why they’ve been there and begin to transmute them into something NEW.

I for one have felt deeply challenged by trying to live in 3D for as long as I can remember. I’ve had trouble with my body weight off and on. I was born highly sensitive and intuitive into a family that could nurture that to the degree in which they were comfortable but then the ground ran out and my search for healing and realization of self, soul, and soul family continued to deepen from there. I learned to drive a car in my 20s, not in my teens, and I’m still not very ‘good’ at it. Parts of me could never stand the idea of a long-standing career that wasn’t spiritual, creative, or very helpful to others. Relationships of all kinds were challenging too, whether ‘spiritual’ or not. I’ve had layers and layers of self-punishment to feel with Inner Punisher, Inner Mother/Father, and Inner Protector parts of me around all of this as the messages kept coming in that I needed to find my way in all of these fronts, find a way to deal with being in 3D. Yet, even with that going on, my soul could never ‘forget’ its pull to something so much bigger and more multi-dimensional.

If you have also felt like this, no part of you is ‘wrong’ for feeling this way and knowing this about your ultimate purpose. Yet, we still have to navigate 3D in all areas of our lives until we just don’t anymore and the natural graduation happens. It’s been a challenging thing to learn how to feel empowered in 3D and even 4D realities on Gaia. Yet, without these platforms to ground into and press up against, the necessary healing and eventual Ascension beyond these frequencies could not be happening.

I’m with you on this journey. We are all learning. Being OK with this learning process is what’s most difficult for parts of us. Because it’s scary for them to live in a world, inner and outer, that they feel they have no control over and that seems sometimes to be offering them more pain than healing. The only way to begin to move beyond this suffering and see the beauty of all pitstops and triumphs of this ongoing Ascension journey is to continue to feel what’s real. To go into the reactions to find the real places of vulnerable fears and feelings underneath them. To realize that as difficult as being in 3D can feel to parts of us, it IS navigable and there IS help in many forms to move us into a more healed and healing relationship with it and with life itself.

My beloveds and I are so willing and desirous to hold space for your explorations into all of this and beyond on a personal level. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information on our space-holding offerings and where sessions with us could take you if you feel resonant with us.

Much, much love to you on your journey! ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Scientist, The Sage, & The Artist: Seeking Love Through Experience And Knowledge

What did your soul come here for? Experience or Knowledge? What did you come here to experience or know?

Healing is a digestion and an integration of this experience into knowledge. I don’t mean the kind of knowledge that you find in books, but the kind that is stored in the depths of our DNA, the unconscious, and our emotional body. Our circumstances are reflections of this inner experiential knowledge data bank and what It is seeking to learn and understand.

The scientist, the sage, and the artist are intrinsically the same.  There is an exploration happening. A reconciliation of an unmet need, an unanswered question, or a prolonged trauma. There is a drive to fix, transmute, understand, or transcend these. Pain is one of those aspects of experience that we try religiously to avoid until it cannot be avoided anymore due to the nature of the Souls journey.

It is hard to wrap our head around why certain people experience certain unimaginable things. It is hard because we don’t really ‘know’ what the soul is needing and wanting to learn and understand unless we get to a place where are deeply curious. This curiosity is what brings the questions that lead us on the quest.

The answers to these questions lie within you. The words of those that have traversed these depths are like guideposts along the way and can provide insight and direction. As a parts work and Metasoul healer, I assist in guiding others to aspects of themselves that hold keys that unlock doorways to places within that hold these answers. They hold the experiences of trauma, depression, anxiety, and dis-ease. By relating to them as parts, and not the totality of who you are or what you are experiencing, you create a space that can bring in context rather than drowning in the content.

The result is a new awareness of yourself as a divine creator seeking to know and experience Love, and often knowing Love is to know Pain until we don’t need it anymore. There is a world of You that you get to become privy to. I call it your YOUniverse because, yeah, you are that damn big and that damn amazing, whether parts of you want to believe it or not. Let’s go find out together.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Loving Your Inner Beast

By Raianna Shai

Self judgement and unworthiness are feelings that are hard to reach the root of. It can take years of unraveling just why and how we truly see ourselves and how it plays out in our lives. We can point fingers at all the people who made us feel small. The people who judged us. The people who could never forgive our mistakes. The people who invalidated our feelings.

But what about the part of you that has done all the same things? The part that tells you you’re not good enough. That constantly reminds you of your mistakes. That judges every move you make, every awkward thing you do. What if this part of you wasn’t just judging you, but judging itself? And what if all the hate and anger and insults were just this part’s way of trying to protect you? We are not victims to our circumstances, so anyone or anything that hurts you is a reflection of a part inside that hurts you too.

I’ve been working with this part of me lately, which can be called a Punisher part, to feel how and why my insecurity can get in the way of my own self love and how it affects my relationships. His name is Brutus and he sees himself as a beast – like in Beauty and the Beast. And all of the goodness that lives inside me can be represented by a rose covered in a glass case. He is fiercely loyal and strives to protect this rose by any means necessary. But his version of protection is to judge her until she does everything perfectly – then no one else can judge her.

This part of me is not easy to feel. He is harsh, brutal and very unforgiving. Every person that has ever gotten mad at me, judged me, or insulted me has actually been backed up by him. He takes everything that was said or felt about me and multiplies it by 10. He expects me to do better, he feels ashamed for how I acted or things I said, he punishes me for doing something wrong.

So instead of using the knowledge and intuition he has about my emotions to protect me, he actually just makes me feel worse about it. But one thing I’ve learned is that he just wants love himself. In his vulnerability, he feels so much remorse for how he has made other parts of me feel about themselves and in turn, other people. He feels he doesn’t deserve love or forgiveness.

But the second me and all parts of me truly forgave him, he started to shift massively. He turned into a prince and he could feel all that he has to offer. Intuition, discernment, and a healthy protection and transparency about how I’m really feeling.

So when I am feeling unworthiness or when there is a truth I need to say to someone, I can call on him and his opened out heart to say what I need to say. Instead of letting my hurt build up and explode out, we will work together to be honest and loving to ourselves and others. Because kindness cannot come from an empty vessel. We must cultivate it within ourselves so deeply, that we can’t help but overflow into others.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Love Is The ONLY Energy That Transmutes Trauma

By Jelelle Awen

The trauma can seem bigger than you……esp. when you are shaking with it, quaking with it, and fused to it. The moments and memories of trauma acting like magnets to keep parts of you stuck in looping around the same suffering seconds over and over again even as your body ages and time ‘goes on’.

When it feels like the trauma is bigger than you, then the pain becomes more real than joy. When it feels like the trauma is unhealable, the fear claims more ‘real estate’ and space than love. When it feels like the trauma is unknowable, the confusion overcomes any clarity.

You may doubt your capacity to hold space for the feeling and processing of trauma as you haven’t been templated and shown and supported to do this. 3D consciousness offers the next drug, the next diversion, the next quick fix, the next substitution. These things then will somehow try to take the place of your SOUL big and HEART big presence that is MOST needed here. These things will try to provide a poor replacement for the richness of SELF love that is MOST required here.

During these moments that caused trauma (from this life and other lifetimes), the parts of you that experienced them felt like they were alone and they BECAME the traumatic experience with no way to digest it. As you become a loving, compassionate, non-judgemental presence that can BE with them during these traumatic moments, supported by Divine energies, these parts of you can digest the trauma and move into a new timeline beyond the experience of it.

The ONLY energy that offers true transmutation is love. Anything lesser or denser or coming from a fix it/judgemental place can’t offer the transmutation of trauma that love can. As you become this loving transmutational energy, so are all parts of you and their traumas able to become the LOVE again that they truly are in their essence.

The transmutation of the trauma you experienced from this life and other lifetimes is KEY to your ongoing Ascension and awakening process. As you transmute it into love again, so you are able to raise your vibrational frequency TO love.

~

My video today, Day 30 of my series, offers more teaching about this and a guided meditation to bring a part of you experiencing trauma into a transmutational love experience with Mother Mary and Yeshua.

 

Jelelle Awen
1:1 healing sessions available to BEcome the love that is needed to transmute the traumas of self and soul. More information here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

A Reflection Of You

Taking in the lunar eclipse last night I could feel its magic, its uniqueness, and its significance. These are rare occurrences in the span of our lives and the way we take them in says a lot about how we take in ourselves. Do we see ourselves as magical, unique, and significant? There is this awe and wonder that come up inside the collective as these celestial events happen. Many of us take the time to really feel what is being offered to us at this time and we integrate that into our next going on places.

It is easy for us then the next day to go back into the “normalcy” of our daily lives and that feeling of awe and wonder go back into their subterranean holding cells for the next reflection of our grandeur to come around and be reflected to us…maybe in the next 75 years.

But what if you could take that with you? What if that awe and wonder were a daily occurrence and not just predicated on external circumstances? That to me feels like the birthing of a new relationship to ourselves and each other. When you see yourself in the mirror this morning, do you see and feel the beauty, the awesome, and the divine within you? If you don’t, and this holds true for almost all of us to some degree or another, then there is your own eclipse happening inside. It is a sacred eclipse.

This is the part or parts of you that are seeking your attention and love so that they, and you, can start to let in more of this perfection and glory that you really Are. It is the protected places, the hurt places, the unworthy places that cast a shadow of great importance. They are the celestial bodies of your inner galaxy. They are your childhood, your growing years, your relationships, and the karmic timelines of your Metasoul. They are all coming around to be seen and felt once more as a gift and not a burden.

When these start to heal in the warmth or your courageous and compassionate heart, you begin to see that glory and grandeur again. The true you behind the wounded you. Yeah, there you are…power-full, meaning-full, beauty-full.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Pain Of Letting Go Into Love

By Raianna Shai

Letting go is one of the hardest processes we go to through in our lives. Whether it’s letting go of a career, a pattern/habit, a geography, or a relationship it can bring up so much for us to process. Letting go is so much harder than holding on.

Parts of us can judge us for our decision – feeling that you made a mistake, that you hurt or disappointed someone, that you did something wrong or will regret your decision. The best thing to do here is to feel compassion for this part. Give it love knowing that it just wants the best for you and it may be scared that it couldn’t protect you from this pain you may feel.

Letting go is painful but it also leads to a beautiful new beginning. Maybe you get that new job you always wanted or a geography that inspires your heart and soul. Maybe you get the chance at a new phase of an old relationship or a new one that reflects the love you have cultivated inside.

It can feel like you’re dying inside during this process. Like you’ll never feel happy or be yourself again. Or maybe you feel hurt and angry and find it hard to feel why it’s all happening, especially if it felt out of your control. Maybe you can’t feel anything or you can’t stop feeling everything.

And sometimes it comes in waves. A comment here or a reminder there can spark tears at the drop of a hat. Then you have a moment of clarity, a moment of knowing it will all be okay. Then you feel the guilt or the shame and it all comes crumbling back down. These are all parts of you that have reasons for feeling the way they do. Feel the pain, but let the clarity and love hold it all.

Whatever you feel there is always another side of it. A realization waiting to happen. A new love for yourself and life will start to creep in. A new view on what you have and what you want to have will fill your heart and inspire you.

All this can happen if you truly let go. Let go of expectations, let go of judging yourself or others, let go of what others might think of you. Mourn the loss, mourn what could have been and the goodness of what was and then let love fill the space. As hard as that may sound right now, it will come. Whether it takes days, months or years it will come and it will be beautiful.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.