Connecting With The You Who Can Feel You Reacting

By Raphael Awen

There’s you having a reaction with no one home to feel you having the reaction. You’ve simply become the reaction without awareness or consciousness of the reaction.

Then there’s you observing the you that’s having a reaction. Conscious awareness is being brought to the reaction. An aware you is showing up to take responsibility. That’s a big step ahead in growth for sure, but it’s also fraught with other reactions of a judgment and shame nature; an Inner Punisher showing up on the scene.

THEN, there’s a you who can feel and bring love and awareness to ALL of these states and phases of your consciousness evolution.

This higher self version of you can feel that you came here to have all of these stages, that you as well as your higher self needed this experience of both forgettance and remembrance. We chose a process of forgoing awareness as well as the entire process of returning to, and reigning in, full awareness.

Your reactions, along with your reactions to your reactivity, all the way to loving each and every one of them and especially the part of you having the experience is what you and I came here for.

Because we are both one and individual at the same time, whatever you figure out for yourself in awakening and remembering process is instantly downloaded into the one mind that we all share and made available more and more to those who are ready for and needing the download codes of what it is we are all growing into. This is where all purpose is sourced in. You get to play with whatever passion purpose expression you want to that is unique to you and part of the great remembering that we all share.

What are the big reactions that are moving through your life now?

Can you bring your awareness to them and feel any judgment reactions to the reactions?

Can you then show up with a curious and open heart to feel it all?

Would you be willing to get to intimately know and feel the parts of you that have lived your life as you up till now?

This is the new awakening in spirituality today. It’s no longer about becoming ‘higher frequency’ without getting to know the part of you pushing for the higher frequency attainment. It’s no longer about attainment, but is more about reverence for the entire process; the fusion stage of simply being your reactions; the stage of dawning awareness of your reactions; the stage of cascading reactions to your awareness of your reactions; and then all the way to revering it all as your sacred path and choice – and in that reverence, setting out to become intimate with it all.

I’m in it. You’re in it. We’re all in it.

If I can help you go into your next choice and awareness points, I’d like to invite you to consider a free intro session to the SoulFullHeart process. If you ask for the free intro session, myself or Gabriel Heartman will send you three simple questions to respond to and a short guided meditation to meet your Inner Protector to engage in, and then from there, we’ll set up a time to have the intro together for 30-45 minutes over Zoom. We’ll spend that time together and then from there, you can decide if you’d like to have regular sessions in ongoing process together.

How does that sound?

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Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Journey To Feeling Genuinely Blessed

By Kalayna Solais

Feeling quite blessed and surrendered this morning…

If you’d known me personally even just a year ago, you’d probably be amazed that I can get to a place of really feeling this deeply… so much restlessness, so much pushing and pressing, and I’ve had to love it all from roots to wings.

The process of learning to land more and more in love, especially within, is no joke at all. It’s nothing that can really be expedited. This over-arching process of Ascension certainly takes the time it takes, doesn’t it? It reminds me yet again that the destination isn’t the goal, it’s the journey itself. And the journey, for me, as been continually dropping into feeling, to get to know my parts and my Metasoul deeper, to have a more fulfilling and enriching relationship with the Divine that can only come from taking conscious steps and making choices that do actually serve your budding self-love and desire to love others more and with more compassion. For that is where the Divine can be the most deeply felt and experienced, as well as invited IN.

So why in this particular moment do I feel blessed and surrendered?

It’s not like I have “all my ducks in a row” right now. It’s not like, in the most typical 3D terms, I have the “perfect life”. It’s not like I don’t also have some rounds of sadness move in and out of my field as my ache to share my space and my heart with others and eventually a mate continues to live inside of me.

But… what I do have, I have in spades. I have growing self-love. I have a community I’ve earned my way to drawing and being a part of. I have more resonance around me than ever before, geographically, in my ‘jobs’, in all of my relationships that I choose to keep close to me. I get to live with so much resonance that parts of me sometimes resist or create problems because they are so used to living with a baseline of “something is always wrong or about to go wrong”. This was a survival instinct, actually, that I don’t need anymore. And that is still very much landing in my heart AND soul!

I’m sharing all of this because it’s a message of what’s possible for you, too. For you and those parts of you who ache and long and sometimes fight to stay afloat in the world you’re living in. For those unbelievably courageous, beautiful parts of you that sometimes feel the opposite because that’s how much they have to shrink in order to fit into a life, a job, a relationship, that doesn’t support their bigness and especially YOUR bigness.

I’m also sharing this because it helps me really land in what I’ve earned, what I’ve done all of this inner work for, and to embrace the overflow of it all that wants so much to share this inner abundance with others. I can’t hoard it away, nor am I meant to. Nor are you meant to, when you feel blessed too… 🙂 So much pain and fear and angst sometimes is the default of what you share, perhaps. And to be in a place in your life but more importantly in your very BEing where this isn’t what is overflowing from you anymore is the invitation, always. No matter how many tough choices you may have to make along the way. The support and validation are waiting in the wings for you to go there and the healing is too.

I’m available for 1:1, 90min sessions for women of all ages if you feel the need for more support for your own next choice points and to start feeling your own parts/Metasoul aspects and their hard work, their pain, their desires too: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

~

Photo taken on beautiful Salt Spring Island… another geography I feel incredibly blessed to have access to! ❤

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

From Nine to Ten: Completing The Cycle Of Suffering And Moving Into Trust

Moving from 9 to 10. The end of September. The beginning of October. I felt something significant move into my body yesterday. After my past 9 year, 9 month, 9 day cycle had completed with quite a bang through the body illness, it filled with a renewed sense of being. Of purpose. Of clarity and above all…Trust. I was filled with 10. It is like I have been a 9 for so long that I can’t even remember anything else. Always on the edge of completion but never completing. Suffering over the suffering of feeling out of reach of this new world of 10. 

When I look it up, I read the characteristics as 

*Independence

*Infinite potential

*Wholeness

*Self-determination

*Exploration

That all seems to align perfectly with what is moving through me. Now these are not absolute. I still feel parts of me that have doubt, anxiety, and fear but they feel less ‘up front’ then they used to be. My Service to Other has grown over my Service to Self. A tipping point has occurred and I feel the Divine gracefully guiding me and supporting me in my next steps as a healer and a leader. 

I needed this last round of Dark Night to get me here. It may not be my last but it is getting awfully damn close. The Dark Mother has always been a gift to me, even though parts of me just couldn’t see it that way until they could. 

I feel many of us are in this phase of moving from 9 to 10. Getting swept up in the brevity of its chaos and intensity. I have traversed these waters for a reason. Not to just move on but to assist others as well to the other side that want the support and guidance. I feel clear about that as the Sun shines behind me. 

How that service and support manifests is up to the Divine but I am Here. I am continuing to love myself and to offer Love to others in any way that it is meant to land, whether by my word or through space-holding. I am excited to see what unfolds for myself, you, and the world at large as we move into this new phase of our INvolution. 

Love to you all that have been with me on this journey. Thank you for your witness and love. I offer it back to you in spades.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Calibrating To NEW Waves Of Love After September’s Growth Processes

by Kalayna Solais

We grow to glow…

Don’t we?

So much inner processing and it all leads somewhere new. Sometimes that new place suddenly dawns on us, reveals itself in moments unexpected. It so pays to have as much resonance around you as you and your parts can let in in order to experience this and feel the magic of the revelation when it’s being reflected by those you love.

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I am in the dawn of a new phase of deeper and brighter self-awareness that’s come from years of feeling quite anchored in frequencies that I knew weren’t me and that I just had to be with as I felt parts of me that weren’t ready to let go of what was hurting them yet. This continues to be a process but it’s finally reaching a place where the clouds are parting more easily and often. I know in my heart this is a good place to be that has been hard-earned now. And also that this new spaciousness inside of me is meant to hold even deeper dives into soul patterns and pain but also hold space for others as they come to me for support on their healing and Ascension journeys.

The gathering we held last week was a gift in so many ways that are still landing in me. It’s felt surreal to be serving love and giving energy healing to souls that really wanted to be immersed with us here! I could feel the payoff of where I’ve gone inside, especially in the challenges of the last few months. This ended up bringing me some physical symptoms to move through too, as my chakras recalibrate to what’s real NOW.

I sat at one of my favourite spots last night to take this photo. I wanted to visit with the animals that live nearby and take in the sunset codes too. I was feeling how amazing of a day I just had with collaborating with Jelelle on the stunning women’s call we held together yesterday while also feeling some sadness in my field… Some of it mine, some of it not. There’s still so much I’m learning to let in of the real goodness and LOVE streaming in right now while also feeling parts that are afraid.

That’s the ongoing process for everyone on some level… The calibration and re-calibration to REAL love and what it invites and asks.

Happy last day of September, everyone! What a MONTH! ❤️

~

You can purchase the recording of the call with Jelelle and me yesterday on our website: soulfullheartwayoflife.com 🦋

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Navigating The Confluence Of Change

Just now recovering from one of the worst ‘flus’ in a long time. This tends to occur for me when going through lots of life changes at once. I have also recognized that it was at the confluence of the last 9 days, 9 months, and 9 years. Very catalytic and life-changing cycles all ending at one point. BOOOSH!!
 
It felt like I got hit by a Mack truck with symptoms all over the map, head to toe (including the teeth…a part of me needs to say.) I could feel how much my poor body has held this life and clearly in other lives. I have become more aware of it but this particular convergence really highlighted it.
 
I have come across so much darkness and suffering in myself and my soul over these cycles. I have also found more light & love than I ever expected to be privy to in one lifetime. This can be a challenge for the body to integrate in such a short period of time. I experienced myself differently during the past SFH Equinox gathering in a way that I haven’t fully assimilated yet. This brings up its own shadow/fear/excitement response. It needs to come up if I am going to continue to serve Love those I am meant to serve.
 
I saw my power. My gift. My desire to serve others, crossing territory that, in some ways, my soul has spent a millennia in. I felt the uniqueness of myself as a man, however I choose to define that. I have a sacred role. Not out of a duty but as a passion to create bridges into the New. I felt a growing closeness to and love for my feminine that continues to blossom everyday. I don’t know how I could do this without her.
 
I found a feminine star seed that I am just starting to tap into that I feel as a priceless gift to bestow upon me when the time is ripe. There are codes floating all around waiting for their landing pad. This is an exciting new frontier for all of me. The coming together of the Dark codes and the Light codes. They all have a role to play within us.
 
I am releasing a lot of my past relationship with Kalayna which has been a big catalyst for this rumble. So many gifts that I have been mining from the letting go. One being a revived relationship with my inner teenager and feeling his energetic bind with Mom that needed more purging.
 
On the physical level, a big detox of all the drugs, alcohol, and smoke that I consumed up until I started this journey 9 years ago.
 
Thanks for taking this in with me. I needed to unpack this a bit for myself and yet I felt to share as it may serve in its own way. It is both a personal chronicling and a shared experience.
 
We are all in a time of great change. How we are with those changes greatly influence how we move through them and where we land on the other side.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Moving From Care-taking to Care-giving

By Raphael Awen

After raising or changing your frequency, you find and feel old energies present in your relationships that reflect the old you; the old you that doesn’t exist anymore, at least not in the same way, or to the same degree.

A natural tendency is to caretake those friends or family members rather than honestly and integrously bringing your truth, seeing them as kind of ‘grandfathered in’ into your life. Trouble is, grandpa’s dying or maybe even long gone, but you’re stuck with all of his unsorted stuff.

I don’t know of a greater or more effective cap on our growth than this deep rooted conditioning of caretaking.

Seeing to the core of this tendency, we see that the withhold of our truth is actually a withhold of our love; albeit in the name of love. A part of us is defensively caretaking the friend or family member out of fear of loss, out of personal need, rather than heart overflow.

This is why it’s called caretaking – it’s very much ‘on the take’. It’s living out of the absence and lack of love. It’s begging and fighting over scraps and crumbs.

Integrity asks us to be integrated, as in coming from one place, not two. This means purity; of one substance. Here, and only here, as well as magically here, the love that we truly give our selves (parts of us) is the same love; the same in character and kind that we have to give others. Nothing needs to be hidden. Nothing needs to be worked on to preserve the relationship. Relating is real and only real. Real has an energy of its own where the tendency to caretake naturally falls away and diminishes more and more as we integrate.

What truth of yours is wanting to come out into your relationships? What truth have you been disintegrously withholding in the name (and name only) of love? What manifestations of growth is a part of you afraid of while holding onto this shrinking pattern? What stress that is sourced in this hiding have you normalized? What would it feel like to bring your truth?

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Today I Choose To Rise

Today

Today I choose differently

I choose to give back all that I have held

In the name of my unworth

I choose to give in to all that I am being invited to feel

In the name of my freedom from the Darkness

I choose to serve the Dark but not Be it

In the name of my arising leadership and purpose

I choose to no longer fear real love

But to open my heart to the One that is meant to spark its fire

Today I rise

I rise to the possibilities and the destinies

The clarities and vulnerabilities

Today I rise knowing that there is always more on its way

But this time I will be ready

To face it all with Love and the need to say No More

To the things that no longer serve me

Today I choose to rise

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

 

Inner Climate Change Starts With Choosing Love

There are times when our inner climate just shifts and we are left with a thunderous and heavy downpour of thick energy that seems to fill every fiber of our being. It can feel as if the light has just vanished and joy has taken a permanent vacation.

This has been my recent emotional and spiritual experience. If I wanted to lose everything I had worked so hard for then I just needed to stay put and the universe would have seen to that in quick order. But fortunately I have had enough connection to myself, my community, and a deeper desire to experience life in a brand new way that has almost seemed antithetical and impossible to the darker side of my Metasoul.

Turning the tables on the darkness and engaging it as an aspect of me and not ALL of me, I immediately began a process of bringing in more light. Illumination. Understanding. Connection. This aspect of me gets to be seen and felt within a larger container other than its own.

What feels unholy inside of us is not evil but just not part of the whole…it is, in other words, un-whole-y. It feels detached and unhinged. Isolated and separate. Once we start to write down a word, make a mark on canvas, or speak it aloud, we transform the dynamic into two instead of one. In the two, the other gets to be held, loved.

This doesn’t end the process but rather offers it a beginning place. Today I am feeling new life emerge from many places as this energy is given a home in my heart and is no longer taking over. I did not exorcise it because I want to get to know it. To love it and heal it. That is what helps turn my inner climatology into something new that will help if/when this part is triggered again. I have a bit more of my Higher Self in the room to hold it.

This is a gift of the process of parts work. We are not just given the fish, but we are learning how to fish. To cultivate and harvest our Service Of Love Self. These are the moments when you can see a whole new Now and whole new future.

Amen.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Becoming The Author Of Your Own Story

By Raphael Awen

When you are no longer controlled by outside forces, you are the author, possessing the author-ity for what your life is about.

Becoming the Sovereign of your own life in this way is a scary proposition as it leaves us completely responsible for own lives, leaving us the challenge of owning all of our lives – all that’s in our lives, and all of our lifetimes.

There’s no one to blame. There’s no circumstance to point the finger at; no lot in life, that doesn’t originate in you.

The idea of having whatever you want is only novel and exciting until you realize that’s what actually been going on this whole time. The challenge is coming to terms with your authorship, deciding the story that you actually want; deciding and negotiating between the parts of you that want different things.

You are not your circumstances. You are not your relationships. You are not your job. You are not your bank balance. You are not even your health. You created all of that, but you are not that.

You are the creator.

Maybe like me, you set your sights on healing your anxiety or your depression. You did that, only to realize this was much to small a goal for the Sovereign you actually are. No longer being in the depths of anxiety or depression is nice, but that alone can’t fill the expansive sails of your being.

You are called to experience yourself in continual curiosity and childlike wonder and learning. You are ever called to more.

What does your more look like? What is wanting to mature and manifest in your life, in your world, in your magical story?

What have parts of you been afraid of, in order to enact the changes that you know are ripening in your story?

How can you lovingly reconcile and negotiate these inner differences?

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Choosing To Forget

By Raphael Awen

You’ve chosen to forget.

The desire, the rate and pace, the content of what and how you remember is also a choice.

A dynamic and powerful part of you has been assigned to hold this tension of what needs to remain in the forgotten category and what is safe and timely to be remembered. We could call this part of you, your Gatekeeper, the guardian of the necessary veil who enabled and afforded you to inhabit this desired third dimensional school without imploding.

It’s been a bit of a family joke for those that know me to have a little fun with my forgetfulness around movies. I’ve tended strongly to forget titles, story lines, and often only recall a movie I’m watching for the second time part way into the movie. It’s not all movies as some story lines made profound impacts and memories. Other movies, however, who people around me found interesting enough, I often even fell asleep to while watching.

I asked my Gatekeeper whose name is Rhodes about this, this morning and immediately my awareness expanded out that this forgetfulness of story has directly to do with the strength of the veil that I chose and needed this life. Even with Rhodes himself along with stories of my Metasoul aspects and their timelines, I’ve had trouble recalling some time following after having deep and profound processes of remembering. It would simply get swallowed back up into a sea of a kind of a sea of forgetfulness.

Rhodes communicated today that the strength of other timelines stories needed to have sufficient veil in order that the purpose of this timeline be protected. As I’m awakening, however, this movie amnesia, whether it’s about movies or about my soul history, or even this life history, is making other parts of me feel self conscious. They want to get on with remembering. Remembering, they feel is the answer to what is ached for, and the answer to where parts of me feel, I and they still experience suffering.

I’m told that forgetting is a kind of suffering, a burden to bear, if you will, that we all chose, collectively and individually as a service to the goals and desires of love. Forgetting is not static however. Forgetting is for the purpose of remembering. We hid our own Easter eggs and we wrapped our own Christmas presents. We forgot in order to remember.

I’m told that remembering is ’to be returned to being a member’, after surrendering to a kind of dismemberment from love. The forgetting had its own pains as does remembering, like blood returning to a limb that fell asleep.

I’m told that the whole purpose of forgetting and remembering was to expand love from its original perfect/imperfect state. Love itself wanted to be noticed and to be revered. It birthed duality as a place to get noticed, seen and appreciated.

Getting to know and feel this magical part of you who’s been your personal Gatekeeper is now your opportunity to negotiate the rate and pace and content of your awakening as you lovingly guide yourself and other parts of yourself through this epic journey.

Story lines from other timelines in your Metasoul await you to be felt and seen and transmuted into love. Karma itself also wants to be transmuted from the expectation of pain to the expectation of bounty and love.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.