Feeling Manifestation As A Birthing Process And Relieving The Inner Punisher

My last two sessions have been very powerful when it has come to feeling the Inner Punisher. This energy is very intense and heavy when fully activated. Judgement swirls inside from self-to-self (or from our point of view from part to part), and it is outward from self-to-other. The outer circumstance is a reflection of what is happening on the inside.

If this is left unfelt, manifestation works to draw this energy in even more. The Multiverse responds. This punishing/judging energy can be rooted in our early childhood relationships, our Metasoul, and/or the Gatekeeper’s relationship to life and people. When wanting to manifest a particular timeline, this part of us can really wreak chaos internally and externally.

However, when you get to truly become acquainted with it (though it has usually been a more masculine energy in my experience), you stare to get an understanding of how much of your life may have been spent in deep fusion to this part. For many of us, it is not an attractive side of us, but has a TON of gifts!

The Punisher (which sounds scary in and of itself) is really a lamb in wolve’s clothing. There is a soft underbelly to all the barbs and jabs. There is a tenderness that I have felt once we got to feel it more. So much of that judgement is being waged against itself and trying to manifest that which is sitting in your Desire Bank, as well as trying to get the hell out of 3D! That is a lot to hold and feel responsible for.

I offered a lot of compassion and love to these parts, along with my facilitants, and when that happened we could feel how hard that was to let in. They are always in a state of outward or inward judgement mode that they don’t feel safe with being vulnerable. The biggest reason is that they are the most tender and vulnerable of them all.

When this part of you gets to be in relationship, they begin to move more into a role of Discerner. It is non-charged intuitive/opinion place that just sees the forest for the trees. When the charge is removed, manifestation feels a lot less like pulling a rabbit out of a thimble, and more like a birthing process. It takes the Divine time it needs to come into this physical dimension. The Punisher almost becomes like the excited partner along the way, seeing what needs to be done next to let self-love be the mid-wife.

We manifest what we need to heal. We give birth to what we are born to share and serve.

I am giving birth to my heart and soul gift into the world with each of these words. I offer my gift with a free Intro Call into how the SoulFullHeart Process can help to heal your Inner Punisher/Judger/Critic. Check out the website link below for more information.

Together we can help to shift so much of that energy in the world into a force of loving change. First from within your heart and then into the heart of humanity.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Gratitude As A Doorway To Reverence And Abundance

Today is Thanksgiving in Canada. It feels different than in the States. MUCH less collective energy to wade through. It has given me the chance this morning to really tap into Gratitude, Reverence, and Abundance. There are so many things that I felt I could right about this morning but this one felt timely. The full moon energy is wanting to open up something for all of us around these tones. 

Gratitude can be a hard one for us to fully embrace. Parts of us can feel how much there isn’t to be grateful for. To give thanks to the universe might be akin to thanking one’s abuser. Without feeling this very real part of us, the authentic gratitude we do have may be a bit shallow in its depths, if that makes any sense. 

When we can tap into that part, the tender reasons can come to the surface even after all the thrashing. It may appear to be an entitled teenage energy or a despairing Gatekeeper tired of holding all they do across dimensions. What is there to be thankful in that?! Being seen and felt in their pain is what opens the heart to that genuine gratefulness. 

It is feeling all these edges where we get to see how authentic our gratitude is. It is not about gauging the level of our appreciation, but just feeling what is real inside of us. When that has space, Gratitude becomes like a clear, gorgeous sunrise after a very long and stormy night. You see the trees, hear birds, and see the light in a much different way. 

This is what then becomes the benchmark for our authentic gratitude. After my last deep process about a month ago, I see the world through these heart eyes. I feel what I wasn’t truly grateful for. What I had taken for granted inside of me. But now the sun is shining again and I see more than I have in any time before. But I needed to go to this place first.  

I am grateful for the Love I am surrounded by, the soul family I am apart of, and the inner world inside of me that continues to grow and be cultivated. I am grateful to be a healer, a way-shower,  a light/shadow worker, a teacher, an ambassador, and a human being. From this place I am lead to Reverence and ultimately to Abundance (more on those in next posts).  

Thank you to all that have followed my heart and words these past 3 years. Many blessings and real love to each of you. 

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

The Process Of Uncovering Gratitude

by Kalayna Solais

Feels strange and yet somehow ‘right’ to have ‘Canadian Thanksgiving’ tomorrow, even though in my life I feel like on a multi-dimensional level, gratitude is continuing to deepen and expand out from me and parts of me at every turn.

This year, I feel like it’s a time to really, soberly, look at, see, FEEL my life as it is and not force my parts into an ‘attitude of gratitude’ but to really feel them in where they might still be tripping over the whole concept of being grateful and why.

I know that inside of me and in my process over the years there’s been a lot of layers of entitlement to feel and heal. I’ve felt though, with each part that’s had this disposition, that underneath the entitlement is a sense of a lack of worthiness. A sense that they won’t get what they want unless they fight for it and ultimately too, a belief that they won’t actually EVER get what they want and that others will instead.

I’m still feeling into what’s truly underneath that meme that’s been ringing and pinging inside for so long and on a soul level too, yet it’s being uncovered with effort and desire to heal it. And, it feels like this ‘Thanksgiving’ celebration day tomorrow helps to bring in some sort of intention around it… around truly and viscerally healing the entitlement that still lingers and moving it into even deeper gratitude than I already feel.

Really feeling our gratitude is actually quite the process. Any bypassing that’s had to be done in order to ‘get there’ actually just buries the parts that feel like they aren’t getting what they want or even what they need, especially from you to you, you to them, parts of you to other parts of you in their relationship with each other.

There’s a lot to feel about this in the collective too of course, and it’s evidenced by our overuse of natural resources, lack of feeling and compassion towards one another and being competitive instead. Even in our domination of animals. Any sort of ‘Thanksgiving’ holiday is really just another reminder to have a look at all of this and how it’s been configured inside of each of us. What IS your personal relationship to gratitude and how does it live in you?

I feel this question as a meditation for myself… and one that I ongoingly want to feel deeply into as I DO have so much to be grateful for, always. And so much that I have earned through personal process, through ‘crawling through glass’, and also, through following with courage what my own soul and heart have wanted more than anything else. In other words… I think the deepest source of gratitude for anything in our lives HAS to be rooted in feeling grateful, ultimately, for our own journeys and where they have had to go, where they are now, and where they seem to be leading.

Much love to you… and if you’re celebrating this weekend… Happy Thanksgiving! 

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

Conversation With 10: The Edge Between Clarity And Uncertainty

Today for 10/10/10 I felt to connect with the number Ten as I did last year with number Nine. I always like to feel how these numbers live in me and what they want to impart to me and those that are reading this. It is a fun and more intimate way to derive meaning and personal understanding. I highly recommend it to any of you that are inspired and interested in seeing what it means for you. 

Me: Good morning Ten. I wanted to connect with you today to feel what messages or insights you could offer me and those that are reading this. 

Ten: Good morning to you Gabriel. I am honored to be here. I feel like I am on tour today. Pretty prestigious event. I forgot my coat and top hat at home. 

Me: Lol! I felt the same thing today. You have a lot of fans! 

Ten: I guess so. I try not to let it get to my digits as I have all the others inside of me to give gratitude for this occasion. 

Me: The others inside?

Ten; Yeah. All the other digits that have come before me. They paved the way here. Each one represents a part of the journey of completion and integration. 

Me: Hmmm…I like the feeling of that. I did have quite the conversation with Nine last year and It was feeling how existential being a Nine can be. On the cusp of great change from one digit to two. 

Ten. Oh, my. I can only imagine. It does feel like a lonely place yet full of possibility. I am fortunate enough to have two parts of me. It’s like I get to have sex with myself. 

Me: What?! Um…Ten, this is a family show here. 

Ten: Oh, for goodness sakes. Lighten up Gabriel. It’s all part of the fun! Look, if you look at me I have a lingham and a yoni, right?

Me: I think I just got cancelled. Yes, it certainly does. 

Ten: So I represent the balance and INtegration of all that has come before me. It is like a giant number orgy in here. 

Me: 

Ten: Gabriel?

Me: Sorry, I am just looking at the Want Ads right now. Integration, balance. Yes. Completion. Oh, this just keeps getting thicker and thicker. My agent isn’t returning my calls. Okay, so we are going rogue here now. 

Ten: Yes!!! Going rogue, man! Let’s find our way into a new dimension of possibility! Let’s move beyond the single-track consciousness of this OR that and move into this AND that. In that inclusion you see a much bigger picture and can let yourself have it all, man! I feel like I want to be like Tom Cruise and jump up and down on this sofa here.

Me: Hmmm…not sure about that reference but I get what you are saying. You are excited. You want to do things that are not predictable and yet you are very predictable as the base of our number system. We can rely on you to be constant. What about that?

Ten: You need to smoke some pot, Gabriel. Get loose. Be free, man. I can do both. I can hold the fabric of your mathematics  as well as I can get jiggy with it. 

Me: Okay, who are you and what did you do with the real number Ten?

Ten:  Lol! Look, I want to unshackle from my current role as some perfect number. Fuck that. Let’s go into the Mystic and see where this rabbit hole takes us. Close your eyes and just imagine ones and zeros. Let them rain down upon you and into you. Let them be like sperm and eggs of consciousness seeding possibility, vision, creation, meaning, direction, and completion. Let those little guys help make big changes. It’s all made up, man. All of it. The Joy and the Suffering. I know that is hard to let in but it’s true. It is all part of this crazy ride we are working out together. It’s not all good and it’s not all bad. The question becomes what is it that you truly want from this existence, for all of humanity. Imagine that and birth that baby, man! 

Me: Whoa….I think I took too big of a hit there Ten. I feel what you energizing and it is working its way through me. I can feel how I have had parts of me feeling like they can’t have what they  want because others don’t. There is still suffering in the world and I can’t be in full Joy and Abundance until others are out of it. That is a cycle that just doesn’t end. 

Ten: Now I think I am feeling that bong rip too. Whew! Yeah, there is a way that each of us need to leave an old paradigm behind in order for others to cross that Rubicon. How do you create peace when you are always preparing for war? I think I am going to cry. Seriously. I am not just being a punk. 

Me: I feel you, Ten. That went deep really fast. I want to let digest a bit. Let the smoke clear a bit. I have no idea what you just brought in the room here, but it was like a tornado. I wasn’t expecting that. 

Ten: Awesome. That is my job. To expect the unexpected. To want the unexpected. To open up to possibility through vision, heart, and guidance. Dance on the edge between Clarity and Uncertainty. The One and the Zero. 

Me: I think I need to go eat something now. You up for some granola and berries? 

Ten: Now who the hell is the Hippie here? Nah, man. I’ll take the eggs and bacon. They look like me. Lol! Don’t worry, hippie. It’s all organic and free range. Don’t get me started on factory farming. 

Me: I have no idea what planet I am on. Okay, sounds good. Thanks for being here with me and I am sure I will have network exec at my door soon. 

Ten. Don’t worry, I will handle him

Me:

Ten: Gabriel?

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

A Gathering Of Clarity As The Equinox Approaches

Today we are all getting ready for our Autumn Equinox Gathering here in Victoria, BC with 4 of our facilitants coming to join us in an intimate communal experience. Lots of excitement brewing as well as nerves for those on their way. One of our incoming souls crafted the word ‘nervocited’ to express the feeling. It has officially been adopted in our SFH lexicon. 😊

I took out our dogs this morning to be great with a most amazing and sensual sunset. It had ‘clarity’ written all over it. For me that felt significant as I am coming out of a very thick process with my Gatekeeper. I can feel him ‘cautiously optimistic’ about our deepening connection and future. 

One thing thing I do feel clear in me is that I want to keep up with this inner arising sense of self-love and desire to keep my heart open to my shadow and its core issues. There is a humility that has come over a part of me and it is helping to be as present to each moment as possible until it is clear that I am not. Then I go back in again and take Love with me wherever it needs to go. 

The clarity is that I am here to Love, be loved, and to serve that Love to whomever or whatever the Divine sees fit for me to serve and Love. Right now that is both an inner and outer service to self and other. 

I am blessed. 

I am grateful. 

I am loved. 

I am becoming. 

I am here, now. 

******

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Door To Our Inner Garden

By Raphael Awen

And for how long we longed after some door external to us to find our magic, our light, our sparkle, when the door was in our own inner garden all along. 

If this is true, then what seems to predispose us all to look outward or to an other?

We have been convinced that the self is ‘selfish,’ an inherently bad word and a very bad thing, when in truth until you become truly and deeply selfish, youcan in no wise inherit the kingdom of God, for this kingdom and queendom is inside you.

To be fully selfish is to do and be what brings you the fullest and deepest pleasure. How could that not be to the fullest and deepest pleasure of all of life and every living thing around you.

Shortchanging yourself is shortchanging the world and everyone around you. 

Your problem isn’t that you are self centred, it is that you are not centred in yourself enough to the true degree and depths of that which you really are and with what you really want. 

Give up the pretence that you have no self-interest for when in fact, as a self, that is all you have.

Show me your most noble self-less act, and then show me how you are not deriving a personal return from it. 

Until we reconcile this inside of ourselves, the door to our own inner garden of our magic remains sealed.

How could it be any different?

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Falling IN Love

Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

By Raianna Shai

In the past few weeks I have been trying to find the space and time to write a blog post, finding that I have struggled to “force” something profound and meaningful out of me when sometimes just living is as profound as you need to be in any moment. I have so much desire to serve love to others and to share what I learn on my awakening journey. Even now, I have many ideas of what I could write about but the words aren’t flowing as easily as they have in the past.

So as I sit here with an open heart, energy and time, I decided just to write about where I am currently in my life. That is what’s most authentic and flows from my heart with ease.

Right now I am falling in love. With myself, with other, with my life and family. I am falling in love inside and outside. I am growing and changing and facing my fears as much as I possibly can to continue letting in all of this love.

My inner process has been focused on a feminine and masculine part of me who are also learning to fall in love. They both have desires, needs, boundaries and fears. My feminine part, who I am calling Shai, is emotional and passionate and a true romantic at heart. My masculine part, named Michael, is discerning, intelligent and has a gift of holding 3D tasks. Together, they are balanced and full of love. Apart, they are opposite forces working against one another creating fear, anxiety and projection onto others.

Because of the abundance of goodness in my life right now, I have been focusing on these two parts in order to be able to continue letting it all in. It’s easy for parts to get scared when things are going well. In a dimension where things tend to “go wrong”, we can make predictions ahead of time of what may not work or what we might lose. In that, we lose the moment. We lose what we have in the present and we don’t get everything out of it that we could.

I’m working on not expecting the worse. On not bracing myself for the impact of something bad. But first, I feel the parts that do expect the worst and discover why that is. The more that Shai and Michael vulnerably share their fears with me, the more they will fall in love and fall in tandem with one another. That’s when their gifts can shine and that love can be shared with others.

We talk about inner sacred union a lot for a reason. It’s so important to start within. To grow the glow of love so brightly that it shines through every pore and into those around you.

*****

I found this poem from almost two years ago that I thought was fitting for this! It’s from my masculine too my feminine:

I always thought I was different than the other men

More sensitive

More emotional

More mature

 

I thought I was protecting you from the other men

Giving you edges

Hiding your feelings

Numbing your reactions

 

I thought you’d be hurt by the other men

They would crack you into pieces

They would scratch your porcelain skin

They would break your fragile heart

 

But now I see your strength as a woman

Your compassion

Your empathetic prowess

Your stillness and energy, both

 

I thought I could hide you as a woman

Under formless clothing

Under quick-witted comebacks

Under disinterest in romance

 

Maybe now I can support you as a woman

Become the mind to your heart

Become the here to your now

Become the pot to your plant

 

I’m not meant to be your guard,

But instead your partner

Your partner in this dance

Few know the steps to

 

Where our rhythms match,

Our hearts unite

And our souls release the energy

Of every star in the nighttime sky

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Evolution Through INvolution

By Gabriel Heartman

“Emerging from the cocoon, you are a new creature and everything is different. There are no laws. There are just fossilized habits. And the whole journey is crossing these habits – locating them and realizing the barrier to your development is also the lever. Medicine and biology have their codified barriers, which are all levers of sorts. If there is a wall, there is also the other side of the wall. To find the wall, to know it is a wall, is to be able to cross it.”

-Henri Monfort from Pranic Nourishment: Another Path To A Spiritual Life

While this quote is specific to our biology and its preconceived limitations in regards to living a life of pranic nourishment, I can also replace ‘medicine and biology’ with almost any 3D structure. Politics, government, education, economics, society, etc. and come to an awareness that our evolution comes through our own personal INvolution.

That inner evolution comes when we come to and cross these ‘Rubicons’ of growth and consciousness. Parts stare at the edge of an abyss or the perceived infinite height or depth of a wall, and come to choice point. Do I keep this structure in place or do I choose to connect with my soul at a higher and deeper level to guide me with Grace across, and through, these ‘barriers’?

When choosing Soul, the levers open up and we are invited to cross over.

This is a death and a rebirth. This glorified and rarified moment we chose to embody Life at a level once imperceptible to our awareness. It becomes the New Now. The Norm. The ground we now walk upon that offers more than physical death and taxes.

You are freeing yourself from one world, and entering a new one.

The ‘rules’ have shifted and now life/consciousness takes on a whole different trajectory than the one it used to be beholden to. This does not come without a price of feeling the pain of that. But with each felt step and integration, we walk the road back to our essence as Love, Light, and Magic.

Weightless, fearless, and free.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Service Of Love As A Mirror

By Gabriel Heartman

I have been holding space for two remarkable women that have had a lot of deep processing of past pain, both this life and others. It has been such an honor to be a part of their movements and realizations that have come from their own dedications to themselves and their desire for self-love and service to others. 

During our time together there have been moments of needing to flow with a ‘passionate advocacy’ for each of them and that can get triggering to parts that have inner wounds around what may be interpreted as a ‘bullying’. This is what I wrote about in my last post. 

It felt important to share their responses of their perspective on that and how being a caring mirror and conduit of real love can be challenging yet rewarding. It also reminds me to continue to work my stuff so that I can Be and offer that to others. This is especially true between a man and a woman where there can be so much charge between the masculine and feminine in the shadow. But it is that dynamic which brings the deepest healing to the surface. 

*****

“Thank you so much, Gabriel. I love all your reflections and you can’t imagine how much they are helping to integrate the session, expand my consciousness, bring context to current situations and patterns as well as past ones and bring my inner family together and growing me more. I took in your last message when I was sitting down by the ocean and it was pure balm for my soul, heart and nervous system. It was an explanation for so much and I will take it in again and again because there’s so much in there that struck a chord and that facilitated big shifts. I saw and felt my inner feminine and masculine shaking hands, wanting to start to respect each other and working together ❤”- Bianca

*****

“Gabriel, I loved your post yesterday about “tough love.” Thank you for putting it out there. While I had parts reactions to our session, your “passionate advocacy” was exactly what I needed in order to push myself to really become my own loving presence for my inner teenager, rather than letting that part convince me that only someone else could take care of her. I could really feel the difference between your advocacy, rather than toxic tough love. Yours is the type of healthy love that all of us have needed in this life. It’s clean and safe, and doesn’t allow for enmeshment and attachment. Feels really good to learn and experience that for real! ❤”- Devon

*****

I am honored to be in this space with both of them as they have taught me a lot about my own heart and where I have grown and still have places to continue to grow and heal. I am so very grateful.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Message From Leo On The Lion’s Gate

On this day of August 8, I felt to tap into the message of the Lion. He is inviting us to lead ourselves into a new relationship with our experience of life and Gaia as we have known it. He is about finding our courage and strength and feeling all that we need to feel during this highly transformative time.

What wounds and pains, both this and other lives, are looking to be heard and felt at this time?

What resistance is showing up inside of us that keeps us from fully inhabiting the largess and love sponges we are?

This is not an easy choice to make going INto the pain, not to suffer, but to heal. To reveal. To discover. It leads us into our jungle and arises as the king and queen of our truest dreams and inner knowing.

You may be invited to make some difficult choices along the way. We can not have things stay the same and expect them to be different. Leading your way into your next emotional and spiritual growth terrain is what Leo is offering and guiding us toward. Healing your way to passion, purpose, and the remembrance of magic.

From denser energy to a higher vibration.

From care-taking to self-actualization.

From being alone to being in community and sacred passionate romance!

At some point today, take some time to tap into your wildest dreams, the savannah of your imagination. Drink the water of your open and plentiful heart and let it fill you with the ‘roar for more’ even as they show up in tears. This is your time to have it All when you are ready to feel it All.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. 

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.