Love The Dark Into Light

By Raianna Shai

Loving yourself is so much easier said than done. You can have the knowledge that you are a good person and that you deserve the world while a part of you feels the complete opposite.

Sometimes a movie and treats can help. Or a good cry and a big hug. Sometimes you just need to talk or write it out. Sometimes just some sleep will help you gain a new perspective.

But other times it’s not that easy. There are phases and moments that feel like a heavy fog is hanging down on you. Like you’ll never feel the same again or you don’t want to be here anymore.

I don’t have any one-size fits all answers for this but what I can say from experience is the importance of feeling. Without shame or guilt if you can. Let the tears flow, let the unworthiness surface. Cry until your head hurts or scream until you lose your voice. Write until your hand cramps and talk until there’s only you left to listen.

“…tears water the foundation of new growth…”

These parts of you that feel heavy and sad and unlovable have just as much a right to be felt and heard as the parts of you that feel joy and happiness. These are the parts and the processes that allow you to feel love and joy even deeper. These are the very furthest corners of your heart and soul – the ones that need the most love and light.

Then watch as you blossom into something new. Watch as the world around you turns from gray to a kaleidoscope of colours. Watch the little things you notice about people – the little habits they don’t even notice themselves. Feel your heart start to bubble with joy when you see your loved ones smile. Notice those dark corners start to let in the light and realize what you’ve known all along – that they are beautiful and lovable and deserve the world.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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Telling Your Truth With Both Strength And Compassion

By Raianna Shai

Telling your truth can be a multi-layered and surprisingly complicated process. It’s rare that we are taught how to truly and lovingly set boundaries, speak honestly, and be vulnerable in our relationships. In order to tell your truth from love rather than fear, there’s a beautiful blend of both the masculine spine and confidence and the feminine heart and compassion.

I’ve been learning a lot about my own process when it comes to telling my truth and I’ve realized how compartmentalized it has been for me. I’ve never been all that confident with telling people how they affect me or what I’m really feeling. I am very open about what is going on in my life but when it comes to anything that could cause conflict, hurt, or harm, part of me avoids it like the plague.

One way that I tell my truth is solely from my unhealed feminine heart. This can be beautiful and soft – but without a more masculine holding of it, it can come out meek and small. This is when I will share how someone made me feel but then follow it up quickly with “but it’s not your fault!”. I have this desperate need in parts of me to make people feel safe and comfortable. But this way of being allows people to think that what I have to say isn’t important. That I don’t need them to see or hear me because it’s my responsibility to take care of it and heal. When sometimes, it really is the other person and their energy that isn’t okay for me.

Wrapping conflict in layers of padding and protection, trying to keep it from exploding or becoming real – this isn’t actually loving to anyone. This hinders rather than supports real growth. Being able to tell someone that something they have said or done hurts you brings you that much closer together. It gives you the opportunity to get to a deeper place around it and actually deepen your bond. It doesn’t have to be something that deeply offends or hurts them, it can actually be a way to show them that you care and that you want MORE of them not less. You just want more of who they really are, not more of the walls or protection that allows them to do or say things that hurt you.

Another way of sharing your truth is through pure, unhealed masculine unsentimentality. This is a powerful part of us that can see the bigger picture and make decisions not based in attachment or codependency. But when I’ve shared my truth from this place alone, I have been able to really hurt another person. It makes people feel judged and small and not cared for at all. It does not allow space for the other person to grow because there is no heart there to really feel them in it. Why would a flower want to bloom in the desert?

Then we look at a blend of these two energies. A part of us that has the spine to make hard decisions that is best for everyone and a loving part of us that can create a compassionate space for hurt to arise, be felt, and potentially move in to something new. Without the heart, there is very little room for anything to shift or change in the way that you want. Without the spine, there are rare moments when the heart is really heard and felt.

I have been feeling the consequences of this compartmentalization lately but I have felt so much gratitude for being able to discover why it’s there inside of me and what was even going on when it happened. Now I can learn and grow from my experiences and offer loving boundaries to anyone I encounter next. These strategies simply came from fear for me. A fear of getting really close to someone, of being seen for who I really am, of shattering an image of perfection, of potentially hurting someone else, and so much more. We all have our reasons for being this way – all we can do is learn, grow, forgive, move on and love as fully as possible!

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Pain Of Letting Go Into Love

By Raianna Shai

Letting go is one of the hardest processes we go to through in our lives. Whether it’s letting go of a career, a pattern/habit, a geography, or a relationship it can bring up so much for us to process. Letting go is so much harder than holding on.

Parts of us can judge us for our decision – feeling that you made a mistake, that you hurt or disappointed someone, that you did something wrong or will regret your decision. The best thing to do here is to feel compassion for this part. Give it love knowing that it just wants the best for you and it may be scared that it couldn’t protect you from this pain you may feel.

Letting go is painful but it also leads to a beautiful new beginning. Maybe you get that new job you always wanted or a geography that inspires your heart and soul. Maybe you get the chance at a new phase of an old relationship or a new one that reflects the love you have cultivated inside.

It can feel like you’re dying inside during this process. Like you’ll never feel happy or be yourself again. Or maybe you feel hurt and angry and find it hard to feel why it’s all happening, especially if it felt out of your control. Maybe you can’t feel anything or you can’t stop feeling everything.

And sometimes it comes in waves. A comment here or a reminder there can spark tears at the drop of a hat. Then you have a moment of clarity, a moment of knowing it will all be okay. Then you feel the guilt or the shame and it all comes crumbling back down. These are all parts of you that have reasons for feeling the way they do. Feel the pain, but let the clarity and love hold it all.

Whatever you feel there is always another side of it. A realization waiting to happen. A new love for yourself and life will start to creep in. A new view on what you have and what you want to have will fill your heart and inspire you.

All this can happen if you truly let go. Let go of expectations, let go of judging yourself or others, let go of what others might think of you. Mourn the loss, mourn what could have been and the goodness of what was and then let love fill the space. As hard as that may sound right now, it will come. Whether it takes days, months or years it will come and it will be beautiful.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Inside-Out Reflection

Many things have shifted for me in the past couple of months since moving back to Canada. Moving into a new house, experiencing a new social terrain, exploring new relationships, diving into new places within myself. Reflecting on the past year I feel how much I have cultivated for myself just by going in and putting my process first.

One year ago I was living in Mexico, I spent most of my time alone or with my community, I was living in a cheap apartment that I did my best to make my own, I was focused on my process and yet parts of me were still very good at avoiding the hard parts.

One year later I am in one situation after another that pushes up process. Everything is new, everything is growing and changing. I am experiencing things socially and emotionally that I haven’t felt in over a year and through that, I can feel how much I have grown.

If there is one thing I have learned from my experiences this year, it’s the importance of going in. I have had so much fear dictate and run my life. All for good reason, but it also ran out of ground. I got to the point in my life where nothing I did felt like it had any meaning. My heart wasn’t soaring or passionate about anything I was doing and feeling, I felt like I was at a standstill with growth and lacked any sense of inspiration.

Finally, I was able to open up to something new and scary: my inner world. Now that I have begun diving deep into my emotional and spiritual body I can feel the gifts of every phase of life that I have had. The phases I miss, the phases parts of me feel shame about, the phases I honour, my current phase of being. It has all been sacred and has led me to where I am today – which is just about everything I have ever dreamed of. But I know that I would not be able to see it that way had I not healed what I needed to in order to really let it in.

It’s hard to really SEE beyond the eyes when you have not learned to see inside.

It’s hard to love another when you have not loved your own aching parts.

It’s hard to have gratitude when the shadow is not honoured too.

It is hard to move forward when you have not moved inwards.

I still have pain, fear, anger, and sadness within my shadow but knowing that I have cultivated the time and space to feel and love it all makes all the difference in the world. I feel all of the people my age that have such a strong desire to feel passion and to make something of their lives, but if I can teach anything from my own experience – it’s to heal, with love and curiosity, everything you can first.

You can change anything you want on the outside and feel motivated and inspired but what keeps that fire alive is how you feel within yourself. How you experience and notice every moment changes your outer reality. I have seen and felt this over and over again and cannot suggest it enough.

I adore my process and want to share it with you, if any interest arises. My lovely community provides sessions and support through all of this – you can read more at http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Your Inner Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving Day in the US. This day does not have the same energetic impact on me anymore as I am not currently in those grids. BUT, it does bring up a lot of memories and reflections. I know that it is a day for feeling gratitude for all that we have and had. It is good to do that. To have a reminder; to take a breath and just be grateful for it all, even the not-so-good as it can lead us to the healing places where there is more good.

However, there is an authentic gratitude and a false gratitude. One that covers over the truth that parts of us hold about all aspects of our lives from the people we are in relationship to, to our jobs, to our health, or to the circumstances in our life. A part of you may not be so damned thankful. Maybe he/she is frickin’ irritated, hurt, angry, or just plain apathetic to it all. Whatever authentic joy that does exist inside can be neutralized by these parts unless they get a place at the table too.

Yeah. There is a Thanksgiving table inside you. Around it lies all the aspects of you that have all sorts of opinions, truths, reactions, and joys. Your inner child can be relegated to the kid’s table by the parts of you that don’t want to feel certain things from pain to joy. They can be judged and ignored. There is an inner patriarch or matriarch that has it all under control and knows what is best for everyone. There is a protector at the door making damn sure it doesn’t get too out of hand or that no one accidentally slips and tells is like it is. A gatekeeper that is holding the cap on a plethora of metasouls that are popping in and out of consciousness. Wow! This day is full of so many trans-dimensional dynamics! No wonder we just eat like crazy and fall asleep!

I know this is a general and typical representation, but it is a great way to feel what may be happening inside of you on this day and the days to come this holiday season. It is actually the best time to really feel what is real and true inside of you. Making contact with this inner family is the gift that keeps on giving. It leads to the real source of inner peace and gratitude. You get to be the Head of Household and create a new way to celebrate on the inside. Listening, feeling, and holding these parts and making new choices of relationship, vocation, and geography that are more aligned with this healed and more authentic state of being.

To get in touch with these dynamics inside of you that may be creating a lot of stress, anxiety, or depression inside of you this season, all of us at SoulFullHeart are here to hold space and offer a heart-open reflection of the aspects and lives within you. To help bridge to a new world of self-love and self-leadership. I send you much love and blessings on this day and may it be the most real day of them all. That is something to be grateful for.

Painting by K. Amelia Bates

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Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

You Are A Work Of Living, Breathing Art

“You are a work of living, breathing art. You are unique and beautiful in your own right. An imperfect masterpiece unto itself with no need for approval other than the love you can let in from within.”

These are words that a part of me were deeply letting in today as I just sat in silent solitude to feel my inner world. There was a feeling in me that something has been missing and a part of me that has been so connected to creativity, especially visual art, came up to the surface. Felt like an inner feminine aspect of me as that is where a lot of my creativity springs from.

This part of me has always had some suffering relationship to art that includes fear, doubt, and criticism as well a profound joy and passion. There was a moment when this part of me said, “I wish that I could create things that other people could take in like I take in other people’s art”. This is when the above words came to me from the Divine, my higher self, and star family.

I could feel this part of me being taken in as a work of art with the same awe and reverence that she has for others art. The light was being turned onto her which of course brings up the pain of not fully being able to let it in. To be able to see ourselves in this way is a big step in our healing.

I did the sketch below when I was just in a state of play a few months ago and it has significance to me now. This life form, generally seen as a weed, seems to reflect this part of me that has been undernourished and is in need of some watering. It reflects a bit about how she perceives herself and what her needs are from me. She needs love and the time and space to flourish.

So in the end it was less about art as it was about heart. Just feeling what lies under things that seem to carry a weight of longing and desire. It will find its root somewhere in our unworth and fear of actually receiving that which we want the most…to love and be loved.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

An Altered State Of Consciousness

By Raphael Awen

It would seem that the point of all spirituality, and even every religion has something big to do with altering our state of consciousness.

It may even be that most everything we do, and even the things we don’t want to do are all about the payoff of feeling different about ourselves somehow.

As sovereign freewill beings immersed in a world of choice, we are out to feel better about ourselves. We are seeking an altered state of being – whether in mind, body or heart.

If this isn’t an oversimplification of explaining human motivation, but instead a simple everyday truth; one that you don’t need to look any further than yourself to be convinced of, then just considering this is an alteration of your consciousness right now. It brings you into an altered state of mind, heart and awareness.

We all do what we want, when we want and how we want. No power can force us to do or be anything we don’t want to do or be. Even a choice between the lesser of two evils is about a choice of which would make us feel better about ourselves in any moment.

We want expansion. We want experience. We want love. That’s the energy that is at core of the universe that lives in every cell of our beings – the hunger for loves’ expression and experience. We are the theater that love wants to show itself in and on.

Love is the root alteration of any and all consciousness shifts.

Who’d have thought that this is the same bed we all share? Every religion, every spirituality, every culture, in every geography, the drug dealer and the clergyman, the banker and the baker, every last one of us. This common denominator is where our total and complete unity lives.

I am seeking an alteration of my consciousness today, and if you check in with me tomorrow, the same thing will be true. You may find me paying bills, sleeping, having sex or tying my shoes, but the energy of life that moves me is a continual desire to be caught up in reverence and wonder. I seek to be filled with awe.

I am meant for, intended for, designed for the experience of awe and wonder.

If this is true, then it begs the quest of the question about ‘how could we do that better, in any moment?’ The pat answer often comes to that question that this isn’t about doing, but rather about being. This in turn leaves us disappointed feeling that we are just aren’t there yet somehow, that there is some attainment of being that we haven’t reached yet, and if you do ever happen to stumble upon it, you’ll somehow know it when you get there.

What if you already fully are this being? What if all the power you’ll ever need is already inside of you? What if all the growth and discovery is only about experiencing what you already are?

If that’s true, then there is somethings you can do to experience the being that you already are. You can let yourself feel how every desire that lives in you is a search for an altered state of consciousness. You can feel how you share this profound commonality at the root of your being with all of life and consciousness. You can feel how the different beings that live inside of you and outside of you who want very different things on the surface, actually all want the same thing at core. Every internal and external conflict is about the search for expansion of consciousness.

I want, therefore I am.

Feel that. Get intimate with that. Feel and intimately get to know the parts of you who make up the subpersonality structure of your being.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Change Outside Requires Making Room For Change Inside

by Kalayna Colibri

So, here I am…. having landed less than a week ago on the other side of some big big changes. I feel evidence unfolding now that changing geography or anything on the outside inevitably invites and actually requires you to change on the inside too. To continue letting go and letting in. To continue to feel what’s coming up to be felt as your parts acclimate to your new surroundings and circumstances.

Being back in Canada brings up a lot for me. It reminds me of who I was before I left 4 years ago and reflects to me how much and how deeply I’ve changed, healed, shifted. And, it shows me where the residue still is and what still needs to be moved through. I feel so empowered to keep doing this too. I feel so ready to shake off the old now… old reactions and judgements and fears. Old pieces that no longer really matter or are necessary to hold on to. Having been with so many parts of me over the years who have had such deep conditioning from living in a Western country, and especially in an environment outside of the west, I now get to feel and let in the rewards of new perspectives inside of me and let them be more real than the conditioning ever was. I still feel some pieces lingering, some self-consciousness for example, that is starting to fall away more and more.

I’ve begun connecting with a Lemurian aspect named Luta. She has helped me see and feel already some of the old reactions coming up that are ready to be recycled, moved into something new with the help of the Gaia love and support around me. I feel I am more able to move into the NEW with her help right now and my continuing inner process.

I’ll share more as that all unfolds.

Much love to all of you as we all inhabit and let in new possibilities and deep inner and outer change… and everything that comes with for each of us!

~

Jelelle recently created a short guided meditation you can follow along with to feel your own Lemurian aspect(s) and to download some of the incredible codes here in Victoria: https://youtu.be/_yKWe2YtFNc

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Subtle Consciousness Of Our Resistance To Love

Shades drawn. That is what it has felt like for a part of me the past week or so. A lot of preparing and doing during this timeline shift. It is an arrival of something longed for yet something difficult to let in. A part of me choking on goodness, love, and joy. The fear of losing this Garden of Eden, this Paradise once again. So the fear projects. It searches for what could happen to be denied and rejected. This creates its own loop and illuminates another place in my soul to explore. To invite into a relationship with myself and Love. But it does struggle to let that in. To trust it all.

As each of us takes on this journey of deep soul healing, challenges come right at the point of actually getting what you have always wanted. This is where, for some of us, the value of our Being comes into full view. It is a subtle consciousness that can take down all that has been strived for and desired. The collapse of a relationship, the rejection of a soul gift, or the judgment of our most vulnerable intentions. Our worth, our power, our deepest treasures are tender things that are fiercely guarded and protected, even to the point of not having them at all.

So it is this time when we go into the recess of our deepest fears and regrets to find that subtle consciousness within and connect. Listen. Hold. Sometimes you go off radar to the outside in order to catch the nuances of this energy. But it is important to not disappear, as easy as that can be at times. I have had to do that with this aspect of me. It is used to being in hiding. In the shadow. And being so close to my inner treasure, it has been very protective and guarded. All for very good reasons that I hold with compassion.

This is part of my healing. My growth. My own self-love realization that I am a gift to myself and the world. That I have edges, shadows, and fears. But the most important thing for these parts of me to feel is that they are not alone, nor forsaken. But rather whole and forgiven.

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Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

It All Comes Down To Letting IN

It all comes down to letting in. Letting in what wants to come to each of us when we are ready for it. When we can feel and love the parts of us that resist it so. Hard to believe that could be true! But when I sit with my selves and really tap into my heart I can feel and see the places where love and worth get stopped up. There is a so much in our soul’s merkaba that we are not totally conscious of that can create this block out of fear and unworth.

Kalayna and I are taking this all in during our anniversary time together. It is a gift to ourselves and our parts. It fuels the inner hearth so that we can offer the overflow back out into the collective through those that we serve both physically and virtually. We chose a path of actively collapsing timelines to re-emerge into a new one that lets in more trust, gratitude, love, and abundance in the name of service and ambassadorship. No longer will we accept anything less than what we feel we deserve and desire.

We are embarking on something new together but also with those that are on similar paths and trajectories. Our passion is to steward and bridge New Earth Now into our heart, body, and soul and serve that back out into the grids. Thank you all for being a part of this journey with us. We continue to offer the healing path that has given us so much in return. Much love to you from our soulful hearts to yours.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.