Going Within To Manifest Goodness 2017 New Year Message Video

Spiritual teacher, co-creator and teacher of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, and writer Jelelle Awen offers a message for the new year, 2017, to go within with self love in order to discover what your heart and soul most what to experience more and less of for the future. She invites you to go within and feel all aspects of yourself in order to come a place of inner peace and clarity that then overflows in love to others. For more videos and information about sessions, community, group circles and more, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.


‘Tis The Season For Desires


By Jelelle Awen

The ache for closeness. The ache for family. The ache to be known and connected to. The ache to be seen and visible. The ache to be cherished. The ache to be acknowledged. The ache for a sense of purpose. The ache for romance. The ache for love. The ache for realness. The ache for joy. The ache for celebration. The ache for being in the moment. The ache for rest. The ache for aliveness.

The ache for intimacy. With ourselves. With others. With the Divine.

This time of year, the holiday season, the season of celebration and gathering; this time of year seems to push up these aches in us in a way that is more poignantly and urgently felt than the rest of the year. We feel pressed to connect, to consider each other, to gift each other with appreciations, to spend time together, and to take space and rest away from our professions and busy daily grinds. We feel called to seek and search for a connective sense of God, a higher source, the Divine. We feel called to honor in contemplation and in joyous song whatever our sense is of God.

The tension of this season of ache comes when these desires, which have been mostly suppressed the rest of the year (which is the reason they are experienced as aches), are unable to be met and fulfilled due to parts of us that remain closed down, fearful, and stuck in the intimacy ground of our relationships with ourselves, others, and the Divine. These parts of us which have become built-up clogged places block our desires from fully dancing, moving, and flowing. Plus, the pressure of conforming to expectations, confronting the back pressure built up from the clogged relationships, and experiencing the compartments that we have created between each other and inside ourselves gets in the way of love’s flow and, ultimately, can leave us quite frustrated.

Ask most people and, in their vulnerable and open moments, they will admit that they are left disappointed and frustrated by the holiday season. They may attribute it to the stress of finding gifts for people, to worry over spending too much money, to dramas of their extended family, and to the busy pace of the holidays. And, yes, these are contributing factors.

Yet, also, there is the unspoken angst that the deep ache that they had to connect, to be in joy, to feel intimacy with their family and themselves and the Divine….there is the deep pain and frustration that this ache did not get met. That even with all the effort, shopping, and visiting, they were unable to get these deep needs answered in an effortless dance of love, joy, connection, and realness. This is particularly hard on parts of us, who are tasked with suppressing our desires most of the time and so are deeply disappointed when their rest in vigilance is not rewarded with us receiving what we most passionately want.

SoulFullHeart offers that ache is desire that has been suppressed and wants to come up and be felt and given room. The holidays bring up a poignant call as they are accepted by the mass consciousness, yet, these aches are always there and are part of the hurting part in us and soul aspects of us that feel “fallen out” of grace and love with the Divine, and therefore essentially feels unworthy to feel and have desires. This part of us can feel estranged, lonely, and separate from others/itself/God even as it aches for closeness and intimacy.

Perhaps during the busyness of this holiday season, you might take a moment to feel your own ache for connection and desire.

To feel this part in you that is aching to feel held and loved again, enfolded in the arms of the Divine. And, in whatever way you choose to connect and celebrate your relationship with the Divine, that you would ask the Divine Mother especially to gift you with a sense of your own qualification with Her, for an acceptance of your desires (even if they can’t all be met right now), to feel a trust in Her grace of timing, synchronicity, and alchemy, and ask Her help to surrender the outcomes of your desires to Her. In this growing vulnerability with Her and more room to feel your own desires, you’ll discover the true gift of the holidays and the authentic joy of this, and all, seasons!

*Note: Originally written December, 2012

Jelelle Awen is an ascending teacher into 5D consciousness, Divine guide-scribe, and co-creator/teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

Love Wisdoms From Yeshua As Christ Consciousness

By Jelelle Awen

The following are teachings and wisdoms that I’ve received while connecting with Christ Consciousness, which I have experienced as a fifth dimensional energy within me that is available to ALL. This energy transcends religions, belief systems, and even shadow projections. This energy is the energy of Golden Earth, New Earth, and what we are moving collectively into as we ascend into higher dimensions of consciousness where we experience more sense of Oneness, peace, self love, and reverence for all life. This is the energy that I feel alive in the most nourishing aspects of Christ-mas celebrations, inviting us beyond material gift giving and into the frequencies giving and receiving love with ourselves and others. This is the energy that we are birthing into BE-ing as we embrace our sacred humanity and both the best of what makes us human and what makes us an transcendent, multi-dimensional soul.


An empty vessel cannot give love. Heal your heart and its pain  by feeling them. Heal your soul and its painful legacy by feeling them. Purify through your tears and your openness to feel it ALL. Then, as you are this, will you be able to transact real love, human frequencies with others who are in the same process….you will be able to let in Universal love frequencies that light up your Infinite Love essence…and you will be able to give with a healthy heart and soul.


Be in the world, not of the world…..yet care for the world.

You are in the world, bring your heart with you, feel your surroundings and those who call you into connection. You are in a human body, bring your health to it, feel your embodiment as sacred and the desires that flow from it. You are in a culture, bring your celebration of it, feel how it impacts you and forms you.

You are not of the world, it is not a reflection of that which you are really made and ARE. Participate in the world even while remembering that you are not just it…not your name, your occupation, your body, your income, your home, your history, your culture. Remain with some separation from it so that you can retain the essence of what you ARE as Infinite Love.

You are care for the world, bring your compassion with you, feel the tears of the world and those cries that call you to respond. Serve love as the greatest gift for yourself, others, and with the Divine God in all Its glorious forms, including YOU. Remember to respond to fear with love, not more fear, and you offer a new possibility to each moment.


I am still digesting my connection time with Yeshua this morning during meditation. I experience him as an ascended teacher energy, a loving and provocative presence available to anyone. For me, connection with him transcends religions and belief systems into a space where just love matters.

We were floating on a golden white fluffy cloud together, sitting Indian style. It felt like we were in a higher vibration frequency, a higher dimension. I was taking in his energy, feeling the warmth and love of it moving up and down my chakras like a cascading flow.

We sat in silence for a bit and then he asked me, “What do you see?”

I looked around and the first answer that came to me was, “Nothing.” This felt strange to me because, after all, I was surrounded by beautiful clouds and sitting next to HIM.

He seemed to take that answer inside of his heart though and then asked me, “What do you feel?”

“Everything,” was my first response.

Again he seemed to take this answer in deeply.

“How can that be though?” I asked him, confused. “How can I see nothing and feel everything?”

He smiled at me in the way that sends golden waves of love straight into my heart and replied, “That’s actually the purest way for which to feel.”

As I sit here now, digesting this message, I feel that what He is offering is that we can ‘see’ so much with our minds, filtering everything, ‘busy mind’ in addition to so many people with ‘busy life’. In this state, it is so difficult to really feel anything, we are numb from over stimulus.

When we open up ourselves to seeing ‘nothing’, to just being, then we can start to feel everything in a more pure way. Our hearts can open up and feel the All That Is for which we are made. And tastes of Infinite Love too.

This is my explanation anyway….Yeshua would probably just smile and offer for me not to think about it so much, just feel it.


Embrace that which you are in this moment.

Feel that which you desire to be.

Understand that the gap between these two is an invitation.

An invitation from the Divine God, from the Divine Mother Aspect, from the Universe…..to experience your essence as Infinite Love through the form of your sacred humanity.

This invitation is open, it waits, it doesn’t push, but it does call…and it is always your sovereign choice if you will answer and how you will answer.

And if you choose not to respond to this invitation, the Divine God will go on loving you just the same and just as much.


To look in the mirror, to really look, is to be open to seeing that which is hard to accept, difficult to love, and most in need of attention. That which lurks in the shadows of your soul, the tight corners of your heart, and the darkest regions of your mind.

Going into this darkness with full consciousness is what illuminates the soul spark that you are and reveals the Infinite Love that you are. Going into this darkness with willingness to feel it ALL reveals the Divine light that you are.

Sometimes life will bring you to this darkness and sometimes you will choose it…..whatever way you find yourself there, feel how it is the beginning of the true lifting of the veil that falseness has placed over you.

If you have not had this experience of the crucible of darkness, seek that which will guide you in it and through it rather than letting your false self cling to a light that is but an echo of the real thing. When what is false has been repeatedly burned away in a conscious process which includes the dark, you can trust the light that emerges from it as being real and a reflection of the Divine spark that you ARE.


Everything is made of love energy. Everything. Yet, also, there is the fear of love that can have equal or greater power at times when it becomes more real than love. This fear of love manifests in many ways and expressions.

The only way that fear of love heals is with more love. It cannot be ignored, suppressed, or made to ‘go away’ because you do not want to look at it. Fear grows if it is related to with more fear. Only love has the bravery to look at the dark, to feel the fear, to be with what is real about it.

Calling it ‘love’ and not acknowledging the existence of the fear of love that is often underneath it is NOT real love.


Jelelle Awen is an ascending teacher into 5D consciousness, Divine guide-scribe, and co-creator/teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

Feeling The True Message Of Love Within The Christ-Mas Story

By Raphael Awen


From my heart to yours during this Christmas season…

If there ever was a time that the line from the Christmas song “O Holy Night” seems to apply so deeply, it feels like now.

“Long lay the world in sin and error pining…….”

Many of us are embracing a time with family or friends at Christmas as a way to escape the pain and disconnect that surrounds us on all sides in our world. We deeply know another reality is possible, but collectively, at least, we haven’t found it yet.

And regardless of the bliss you may have found and that you treasure personally, some aspect of it isn’t complete until that realization of bliss or joy rings through every heart in consciousness. And that alignment with life and love itself that you (or what you call you) have found also doesn’t mean it lives in every part of you. Love, by its very nature, wants to find its way into infinite realization into every nook and cranny of our beings, our world, our solar system, and all the ones beyond.

Could this dark night that we are collectively going through somehow be the ‘O holy night’ that we have long pined for?

I’m going to ask you to come with me on a few minutes journey into some words and heart that, if we feel it together, can be a profound awakening of love in the world.

I’m going to show you that the Christmas story is both the most real story and completely made up story at the same time. I know that doesn’t sound possible to our ears, but I assure you, anything less than this realization is part of the ‘Sin and error’ that we’ve been pining in, and what has buried our hope.

Nothing changes a heart like a story can. In one way, what you are is a story who is out seeking a story to understand your story. We seek others who align with our story and our lives and we are changed through others colliding with or resonating with our story. Everything of love and hope and joy and peace that I believe in and live for can rightly be said to be nothing more than a story, albeit a true one.

Because something is a story, doesn’t mean it is anything less than real as real can be. If you ever felt deeply moved from a novel or a movie, it is because the energy of the story resonated with the story of you. You and I are walking stories, seeking interpretation while the climax and plot are still unfolding into unknown infinite possibility.

For a big part of my life, until my forties, I subscribed to the Christ birth story as being a literally true story. I would have said then that this may be called a story, but it’s a factually true story that really happened. That’s the way my consciousness was moved by it and felt it to be real. It brought me genuine tears and love. My feeling-based interaction with the story satisfied any quandary over the opposition from people claiming it wasn’t real. That’s the power of a story…it creates deep feelings and emotions that go way beyond a mental debate of whether it really happened or not.

But I’ve since come to the painful intersection of other stories colliding with my literal-Jesus-Christ-birth Christmas story as offered and sanctioned by the Roman Catholic Church, extending all the way down into present day Christianity. It began some time prior with the eroding conviction that God himself had protected the bible from any human tinkering. I was then introduced to the now very widely known and easy to see reality that prior to the Jesus in a manger story as being literal and unique from 2000 years ago, there were, in fact, many other birth of Christ stories. Okay, but so what, you may say, the devil always tries to counterfeit the real?

Well, these other very pagan Christ birth stories came from several different cultures and religions in times thousands of years prior to the Jesus birth story. Horus, the sun god of Egypt, or Mithras of Mithraisim along with several others (Krishna, Osiris, Dionysus, Adonis, Attis) all come up with stunning similarities. We find (and bear with me, this partial list goes on) that these mythical Christs are also not only born of a virgin, but also on the same date, or the nearby solstice of December 21st, fathered by carpenters, attended by wise men along with bright shining stars and manger births. The Christ child in some of these other stories went on to have 12 disciples, be a saviour, be crucified, and resurrected.

My God, I could hardly believe what I was undeniably seeing. An atheist leaning brother-in-law from my previous marriage had once mentioned the book, (right in the middle of our living room, no less), ‘The Pagan Christ’ by Tom Harpur and back then, the very title was anathema to me and my ex-wife. I was very surprised a few years later to have my world expanded by that very book.

I had to simply shelve the whole thing and seek to find my own way. I still felt a god connection but didn’t want to be around anyone any longer who claimed to have it all figured out. It’s a bit ironic, because from where I sit today, I still, you could say, ‘believe in God,’ but this god/God, itself/herself/himself/source energy field, is the one actually trying to ‘figure it all out’ and it’s doing this through you and I through ongoing infinite discovery and expansion, and with all of us as fragments of it.

So, why then did the literalist Christians of recent fame get the corner on this story and why? The Christ story as it existed in mythology was a powerful story that many ascribed to, but left in its mythological form, it offered the Roman authorities of Jesus’ day no control over the people. For control, a literal story was needed, and one that was rolled out by Roman authorities. It was rolled out in strategically time appropriate/ripe stages long after Jesus’ death.

The man, Jesus, was made into the one true manifestation of the long, and through many channels, prophesied coming Christ. It began with the apostle Paul who had hardly any use or interest in the man Jesus, and complete disdain for his actual followers and sought only to fashion Jesus into this one true literal Christ. It is a lie of truly epic proportions, and interestingly (but this is a story for another time, see ‘The Event That Created Created Christianity’ by Eric Zuesse for more) the evidence for thee event that created this version of Christianity is contained irrefutably in the very writings of Paul in his letter to the Galatians. Long and winding story short– Jesus of Nazareth rolls over agonizingly in his grave that his life and teachings could have been used to construct a lie to keep souls in stumbling darkness.

This is all coming to light in our times now. What we (many of us at least) simply found so hard to see before is now revealed in plain sight. One of the tenets of literal Christianity is that once you accept Jesus as your personal saviour, you’re good to go. Literally. You’re ready for the afterlife, now that you successfully handled the one and only purpose for your supposed single incarnation.

Well, if you really need something to do, you can work on the fruit of the spirit –good works, because that’s a good thing and God likes that. Or, if that all lacks some juice for you, like it did for me, you can get into the power of the Holy Spirit, and seek out deeper manifestations of gods power. I can honestly tell you that within literal Christianity, I have never seen more corruption and shallowness (up close and personal at least) of heart and soul than within the leaders who most strongly push the signs and wonders, Holy Spirit etc. agenda. The power is real, but is being used for the overall agenda of literalist Christianity…, control. God is out to control, using final authority, and we’re just rooting for him. True godliness.

This shadow expression may look alive and well, but is actually falling apart at the seams in our day. It’s been a long time coming.

‘Long lay the world in sin and error pining’ now takes on a different meaning doesn’t it?

What might this all mean to you and I this Christmas?

Literalist Christianity is now being seen as the story that it is, whose time and purpose is now completing, and people all over the world are exiting their role in the story. It was a necessary story, but now a much larger story is sweeping over us that is calling us to a renewed vitality and role.

Who Jesus was and what he advocated for and taught is a far cry from what we are left with in the gospel accounts written many decades after his death, and overlaid writings by the deeply anti-Jesus Pauline writings. Jesus knew the real goods on the divine purpose in the very fabric of the universe itself that calls us to raise our consciousness of love and its desire in the world.

Our Christmas carol goes on:
“Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.”

What is appearing now, in a way it hasn’t before, is a wave of Christ Consciousness that lights up the grand scale of the utter indescribable worth of the individual soul.

You are an actual soul fragment of God. God won’t no more rest with you being tormented in hell for an eternity than it would rest with you being outside of its full love revelation for a millesecond. You are the point of the whole deal. You are the reason for the universe. And you are the saviour of the world.

As long as you see yourself as anything less, you magnify the very purpose of the creation of space and time, which isn’t a bad thing, but there is a higher thing. You and I came here to remember and to awaken and to inhabit deeper and deeper expressions of our God-laden-selves.

This is the ‘yonder breaking new and glorious morning’. It literally knows no bounds, unending rejoicing.

The song goes on:
“Truly He taught us to love one another
His law is love and His gospel is peace
Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother
And in His name, all oppression shall cease.”

There is only one story that unites all man-kind, along with every other kind, and that is the story of love. Here, that story is told through the lens of the Christ story. It is this story of love that introduces hearts to love itself. The story is the gospel that God is utterly at complete and total peace with ALL. That includes you, me, every part of me, Trump, the devil, all the extra terrestrials and all the angels in between. You and I are this ‘God’ coming to know this ‘God’, and we are already at peace in our highest expression, and are just in process of coming to terms with what we are.

What comes next is the ceasing of all oppression. Much of the oppression in the world is centred around fossil fuel energy, food control and the sick-care industry. There already exists waiting in the wings the technology and ability to deeply address super-abundantly everyone of these ills. (See the movie Thrive on you-tube if you’d like to doubt your doubts on any of that.)

But we actually don’t need to wait to enter our own personal golden-earth or fifth dimensional consciousness for everyone to be on board. It’s here now and very available. In fact, for all of us to go here eventually, the universe needs you to go there first. And the universe won’t actually rest until every last one of us find our way back to our true soul home.

Talk about a high calling.

There isn’t anything that compares.

In fact, every portrayal in every story ever told or depicted throughout all time attempts to get at and under this deep knowing deep in our souls that we have eternity in our hearts and an infinity of love to explore that.

This is the very true story, offered through one lens,…that consumes every other story!

So what’s left?

“Fall on your knees and hear the angel voices!

This is the time of our dear saviour’s birth …”

Noel, Noel, Noel! Rebirth! Rebirth! Rebirth!

Much love to your heart and mine…

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

Noel as ReBirth and ReUnion into Christ Consciousness

By Sequoia Heartman

I just listened to the song O Holy Night and was struck by the feeling of our own journey to reclaim all of our scattered Selves throughout the dimensions. The “night” being the shadow places that we have hidden and packed away for fear of not being loved or even fear of our own majesty. We must enter into this night to reunite with these aspects of us so that we may be whole (Holy) again. In this reunion we remember what we were and always have been. This crystalline body of light that is the essence of our Oneness.

If we could rewrite the words and feel them as the birth of your Glory as Creation we can get visceral heart bath of our most ancient reflection of Infinite Love. I am feeling the edges of something truly beyond words. They can just lead us there.

The Latin roots of Noel are “birth”. So this is a time of the birthing of you from inside you. It is more of a Re-Birth as you have always been this. We All have. We are coming together in One Body yet still with our own expressions. The dawning of a new You and a united Us. May you find your Savior inside of you during these ascending times.

Sequoia Heartman is a writer and a SoulFullHeart facilitator. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration. 

Going Within And Experiencing Oneness On The Winter Solstice

This ‘day’ is designated as Winter Solstice, marked as the ‘shortest day of the year’ in terms of hours of sunlight, and the ‘beginning’ of ‘winter’. All of these things are concepts or ideas originating in the mind, of course, layered over reality and labeling it as something other than Moment. In this Moment, there isn’t a winter or day, there is another moment to be within, to experience, and to live.

Yet, even feeling that as a deeper sense of reality, I wanted to feel into what this moment known as Winter Solstice is inviting us to explore or what the deeper message might be especially related to shifts and changes happening in our worlds- inner and outer, both within and with-out.

Since ultimately every moment is about Love, I begin by feeling ‘what does this moment called Winter Solstice offer about Love?’ The sense of less daylight, less sunlight seems to call us inward, into physical spaces of comfort with beacons of lights around us from the wonder of electricity and especially if you have chosen to live somewhere that has cold temperatures.

Yet, also the call inward is to the deeper places inside, the quiet places, the places of stillness, the places of great journeys, the places of tears, the places of joys. When Love leads into these inner places, the unknown opens up before you, bringing new experience after another as you discover the limitless nature of your internal landscape and all the aspects of your heart and soul that reside there.

For me today, I felt this call to go within, as I do every day, and my life is blessedly able to be given over to this inner exploration that then flows outwardly to teaching, writing, facilitating, just, well, loving others. Going within today, I found Oneness. I was holding some other people within my field, digesting recent interactions and wondering where they would go next and if these souls would go deeper with us into SoulFullHeart. I then felt a heart wave of Oneness, of union…with these souls.

I had been operating from the assumption of separation (as I call our 3D conditioning toward other people) and seeing them as outside of me as I explored future possibilities. As I felt the reality of Oneness light up in my soul through the merging with inner guides in Star Being form, the questions dropped, as did any bit of sense of separation from them. Suddenly I could feel how these souls were an aspect of me already. They already lived inside of me as an expression of me. It was a wonderful feeling and any sense of ‘future’ dropped as well because in the Moment we already ARE as deeply connected as we can BE. We are already LOVE expressing as Itself together.

I feel how we are individuals, yes, individual soul sparks of Infinite Love and sacred human BE-ings….and we ARE also already One, already in Union. Holding both is becoming more of my reality in relationship and it opens out beautiful vistas of possibility in every minute.

A crucial aspect of exploring and opening this relational ground out inside of me has been the journeys within where I am open to whatever needs and wants to come, where I am open to myself, and, therefore, become open to others in a new way too. I feel this is a powerful message to offer for the greater context of where we are in this time of transition from 3D reality processing to 4D and beyond. Holding this vibrational frequency of exploration about each other as One and yet individual could bridge separations that exist and connect those with each other who previously felt opposite.

Love to you on this Winter Solstice and may your journeys within bring you much bounty of self love, discovery, and new experiences of Love in the Moment…..

Jelelle Awen is an ascending teacher, Divine guide-scribe, and co-creator/teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration. 


30 Days With My Parts: Day 29 – The Gift of Love


I feel like this is the time of year that gave me an opportunity to get love anyway I could and gift giving was one of them.  We were all looking to do that.  Christmas was like one big unworthiness orgy.  Then we could punish ourselves more for all the money we spent on alleviating our unworthiness.

Day 29

Christopher:  Hello, everyone.  I felt drawn to address all of you this afternoon.  Another roundtable team meeting.

SImon:  Is this like a staff meeting, cuz if it is I’m outta here?  I had enough of those teaching.

C:  No Simon.  I just wanted to feel all my parts around this time of year.  I was moved by Jillian’s blog today and wanted to feel some triggers and joy around the holidays.  I am glad you spoke up, Simon.  I have felt some annoyance with the holidays.  Would you care to share?

S:  I tend to get wrapped up in the gift thing.  Ha!  That was funny.  Get it?

C:  Yes, Simon.  That was good.  What about the gift thing?

S:  I guess I have always been stressed around getting someone a gift they like.  I feel like I have an image around it.  Did I “hit a home run”?  Do they feel I am a good gift finder?  Did I get them enough?  Am I being balanced?  Did I spend enough? Oh, for God’s sakes what is wrong with me?  These are people that love me and just want me for me, not for what I give them for a gift.  I used to fucking hate this!  Looking for acceptance by gift giving.  I feel I used to rail against it as commercialism, which is still true, but it was a truth in service to the stress of feeling my own pressure.

C:  Wow, Simon.  Right on, man.  I feel some juice in this.  I feel I fused with you a bit around this and should have done more checking with you before going out.  Did you feel that this year?

S:  Not as much.  I enjoyed going out with Kathleen and Raianna.  It is just this old shit that followed me around.  Feels like the dregs of an old punishing voice.

C:  That was intuitive, Simon.  What would you like to say to this voice?

S:  Leave me the fuck alone!   I am not a part of the old conditioning anymore.  I have a family that loves me for me and I don’t need to impress any of them to be given love.

C:  Amen, brother!  Can we still love this voice though?  This voice feels like it was there to make sure you got love, Simon, the only way it knew how.

S:  Yeah, I can feel that.  I’m sorry.  It is true.  Had I had SoulFullHeart at that time I would have been able to feel that part of me.  A part of a part.  Is this possible?

C:  I haven’t the faintest clue.  It feels like as I am growing more, you are as well.  Leaving some old things behind.  Getting separation from the old life.  Feels like it could be Marcus.  Is that you, Marcus?

Marcus:  Hi, Christopher.

C:  It has been a while, Marcus.  What is going on, my friend?

M:  I feel like this is the time of year that gave me an opportunity to get love anyway I could and gift giving was one of them.  We were all looking to do that.  Christmas was like one big unworthiness orgy.  Then we could punish ourselves more for all the money we spent on alleviating our unworthiness.

C:  What would you have liked Christmas to be like, Marcus?

M:  I guess just to have people get together and share our love for each other.  Eat good food, tell stories, play games, watch movies, and maybe exchange a gift or two, nothing fancy.

C:  That sounds like a SoulFullHeart Christmas to me.

M:  Yeah, I guess it does.  I feel like I was projecting some old family conditioning when we were shopping.  I am sorry, Simon.

S:  Thanks, Marcus.  I am sorry I said leave me the fuck alone.  That was just backed up frustration of all those years.

M:  I get it.  Believe me.  Thank you, Simon.  There is a better way to hold gift giving and that should be done by Christopher.

S:  Agreed!

C:  I should have held that more and I apologize as well.  I feel that gifts are from the heart and if we are not in our hearts then the gift is just a false token of love.  We are energetically passing on unworthiness and that is held in the gift itself.  If we really looked with our heart-eyes, we would see everyone handing each other piles of shit and saying thank you for it.  That is not what the holidays are about.  How do you feel about this, Nathaniel?

Nathaniel:  I couldn’t have said it better myself.  I have always been irritated by this Christmas thing.  The false social structure, the false religious foundation, the false relationship to the Divine.  It is maddening to really let it in.  But I appreciate the way you are bringing this, Christopher.  The way SoulFullHeart holds this time of year.  Your magical children set the tone of this season and let it be what it truly is.

C:  And that is?

N:  About joy, magic, peace, and love.

C:  You sound like a hippie.

N:  Right on, man.

C:  Now THAT was funny!  Good to feel your sense of humour after what you said.

N:  I am getting that without some light, this world would be way too dark.  Even a daemon needs balance.

C:  Amen.  How about you, Angela.  How are the holidays for you?

Angela:  It is about singing, and dancing, and being creative.  I like making gifts!  So much funner.

C:  We had some fun today creating, didn’t we?

A:  Yes, we did.  I can’t wait to show everyone!

C:  Me too, Angela.  And of course I can’t forget you Peter!

Peter:  Christmas is about snow!!!!  That was soooo coool!  I want to play in it again! Can we? Can we?

C:  Of course!  If it sticks around.  What else is Christmas about?

P:  Cookies!  Lots and lots of cookies!

C:  Hahaha!  Okay, we will make cookies.

P:  It is also about being nice to people and not being so serious.  Too many grumpy bunnies out there.  I don’t like that.

C:  I feel we can all agree on that.  Thanks for reminding us Peter about having fun.

P:  You’re welcome, Santa Christopoopoo.

C:  I love you, Peter.

P:  I love you too, silly.

C:  Merry Christmas everyone.  Let’s go have some fun.

My name is Christopher Tydeman and I’ve been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life since March, 2012. I am a SoulFullHeart facilitator-in-training, author on this blog, and I hosted the SoulFullHeart Experience Radio Show. I was invited by Jillian and Wayne Vriend, co-creators of SoulFullHeart, to begin my own 90 day outing. In the next 90 days, I will be vulnerably sharing my SoulFullHeart process publicly. It will include journaling from one or more of my parts, my daemon, the Divine Mother, or all of them in one big group love fest. You will meet Simon, who is my self-image part or prime monarch; Nathaniel, who is an aspect of my Daemon; Angela, who is my newly arising feminine part; and Peter, who is my magical child. I will not be sharing anything they do not want to share, or I may process with them until they feel comfortable. This is a healing crucible for me, but also a look into the inner world of this way of life called SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.