This is a video I put together to introduce myself in some more detail… I already share about my journey in other videos and writings but not usually in this way. I’ve created this video to support my bio already on the SoulFullHeart website: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/aboutkalayna
I write regularly for this blog and also frequently publish videos of audio blog recordings, guided meditations, process digestions, and more along with my husband/Sacred Union mate, Gabriel Solais, and my other beloveds.
I have much intention and desire to serve love as I continue my own healing and Ascension journey and this is always being refined, purifying, and deepening.
In this video, I introduce myself and some pieces of my journey to where and who I am today. I awakened very young, around the age of 12-14, and shortly afterward I started to dream of ways to serve love and help others heal as I also sought after my own healing. I do my best in this video to summarize some of the highlights of my journey to date yet, of course, there’s always more to share and I warmly welcome any questions or comments you may have!
“Empowerment” has been a theme arising in a few sessions I’ve had with women lately.
Empowerment around really stepping up for their own healing. Empowerment around finding their independence. Empowerment around collaborating with life while holding the parts that may feel afraid of it, anxious about it, sad that it doesn’t seem to be giving them what they feel they want.
I’ve had so much anxiety myself over the years… coming into this lifetime feeling as if I “never belonged“. On the other side of that coin though, I can feel now how others in my life really genuinely tried to connect with me sometimes yet there was so much within me that was rejecting myself that I rejected others often unconsciously. Also, there’s a way that I knew I was never meant to belong in the same way others did. I had to have something to push against in order to find the true me. It’s almost like I was born more into a 4D reality rather than a 3D one, at least internally.
To find your empowerment and the healing of this anxiety/depression is a journey. It’s deeper than what medication can touch. It’s deeper than what many spiritual/therapy practices can touch too. It’s not there to be transcended because if you do this, it will fire back like a boomerang over and over again until you can really feel it and heal it through empowered steps within.
You are not your birth family. You are not your current social world. You are not your school, your grades, your upbringing.
You are a unique tapestry that needs expression in this world that also needs YOU. You are full of gifts that may actually be dormant or buried right now until you can find those steps into your independence, creating the space they need to emerge and unfold. You are a story that is yet to be discovered. A record skipping on one note until you nudge the needle in another direction. So much of what you want to heal inside of you starts with taking a step (even a cautious one) into what’s next for you, whether it feels like a small step or a big one.
You get to choose the path that feels most empowering for you, that helps you feel as if you get to heal AND have a life of goodness, stability, independence, and endless self-discovery. The one I’ve found most empowering is the one I offer, where you get to connect to and have a deepening relationship with the part(s) of you that are deeply afraid, that identify so closely with anxiety and/or depression. Once you can show up for these parts and give them all of that sweet love in your heart, they shift, they open-up to possibilities, they transmute their fear into courage.
You get to feel this gift of self-empowerment to whatever degree you’re ready to, any time you feel ready to, one step at a time.
We are living into a big crescendo right now, especially pushed up by the coming Equinox and this trinity of Supermoons. I keep being offered to call this crescendo ‘Peak Fear’ and that’s certainly what it feels like is happening. We are living into a dark time where the rumble of awakening out of 3D slumber and into lower 4D awarenesses is understandably pushing up fear.
The fear though is not so much coming from a need to fear what’s on the outside and how what’s rumbling in the collective will affect you personally. The fear is actually a reaction to what’s been in your personal shadow and is now coming up to be witnessed, felt, and ultimately loved UP. The fear of seeing timelines/lifetimes where your personal Metasoul has been involved in some of the terrible crimes that are actually quite triggering for you in this moment… yet, it’s surfacing because it’s time to not blame others for the state of the world and to begin taking responsibility, finding forgiveness and love inside so that you can feel compassion for what’s happening outside.
This is not an easy process, to really feel through these darker timelines of which your soul has been a part. Yet, we’re all invited to inhabit this sometimes daunting and heavy task with a pace we’re ready for. It feels like opting to go on journeys via Ayahuasca or Peyote or any other methods of inducing these sort of processes could add to the trauma of suddenly being thrust into these timelines of darkness, yet, if this is something you feel drawn to it may be important to go into it this way. The only piece here is to remember to hold self-love around it and to have a self-loving plan for integration and space for processing what you’ve now unearthed.
This whole process of unearthing and remembering could be much more step-by-step and self-lovingly held and paced if you choose to access your Gatekeeper first, who holds the keys to these alternate and other lifetime realities alive and well in your soul. It’s through getting to know them and negotiating with them that you can begin the descent into your inner cave, unveiling the dark and the light in your personal Metasoul. Here is a guided meditation from Jelelle to help you meet this aspect of you and to start the process of getting to know them too:
I personally have not been drawn to the intensity of plant-induced journeys and have preferred the pace of self-negotiated steps facilitated by an open-hearted other who has also been there. Yet, this is what my soul has gravitated towards with having experienced many lifetimes of these induced journeys for the sake of being an oracle, psychic, etc. and may not be what you actually need at this time.
What we’re intending to heal as a collective cannot be healed by pointing fingers. This method of shaming and blaming hasn’t worked yet in our ‘history’ to genuinely change the world we live in and how it operates. We cannot fire guns (figuratively or literally) and expect to find prolonged, sustainable peace, unless the parts of you that are attached to gunfire being the answer are deeply felt and given the love they so desperately want and need.
We cannot continue to ask world leaders to hold and give us the answers when they themselves haven’t gone inward to find what’s really going on inside of themselves or their own souls. More and more leadership is being invited out from inside of you, starting with leading your own explorations into the shadow that continues to be illuminated by what you’re hearing about, reading about, and reacting to on the outside.
The beautiful thing about all of this, is that we aren’t being asked to do it alone. We aren’t actually being asked to go deep into the desert and suffer for our ‘sins’ or find penitence and to strive for forgiveness from outside of us. We are already forgiven. We are already loved, despite it all, because we have needed to walk all of these timelines out for the sake of discovery, learning, growth, and the path back to the love we’ve come from and simply ARE. Now though… now we have the choice about what we want to do with this information and we can choose to be curious instead of fused to the same reality of Peak Fear we’ve been witnessing and perpetuating in different ways.
Much love to you as you feel into whatever your shadow is illuminating for you… I, myself, am curious too about where this exploration will take me next, for there are ALWAYS gifts to integrate from even the darkest of places we must go within and I trust deeply that I will not be the same person (in a really good way) on the other side of each journey inward.
There is not one ‘soul group’ to arrive on this planet without a specific purpose and gifts that need to unfold and be discovered. It’s not a matter of one group (or in 3D terms, ‘generation’) being more necessary or gifted than another. Even the ones who came here to deeply inhabit 3D had a consciousness they signed up to become, even in the ways they may be accountable for causing much pollution and other issues on Gaia (something that it feels like Gaia was actually prepared for all along as a necessary phase of Her Ascension).
This is what’s true for any incarnated soul on Gaia during this and any phase… some are more connected to the here and now, some are visionaries for the future, and some are still moving through tension between ‘home’ or Star Family consciousness and the dominant consciousness on Gaia right now, and grounding that somehow into their lives and into the overall Ascension process. There are walls to bump up against and other levels of consciousness to consider and collaborate with too at times. There are obstacles to meet especially inside of us, as we reach down into the layers, barriers, and veils to our love essence inside and lovingly learn to be with them, love them, appreciate why they’ve been there and begin to transmute them into something NEW.
I for one have felt deeply challenged by trying to live in 3D for as long as I can remember. I’ve had trouble with my body weight off and on. I was born highly sensitive and intuitive into a family that could nurture that to the degree in which they were comfortable but then the ground ran out and my search for healing and realization of self, soul, and soul family continued to deepen from there. I learned to drive a car in my 20s, not in my teens, and I’m still not very ‘good’ at it. Parts of me could never stand the idea of a long-standing career that wasn’t spiritual, creative, or very helpful to others. Relationships of all kinds were challenging too, whether ‘spiritual’ or not. I’ve had layers and layers of self-punishment to feel with Inner Punisher, Inner Mother/Father, and Inner Protector parts of me around all of this as the messages kept coming in that I needed to find my way in all of these fronts, find a way to deal with being in 3D. Yet, even with that going on, my soul could never ‘forget’ its pull to something so much bigger and more multi-dimensional.
If you have also felt like this, no part of you is ‘wrong’ for feeling this way and knowing this about your ultimate purpose. Yet, we still have to navigate 3D in all areas of our lives until we just don’t anymore and the natural graduation happens. It’s been a challenging thing to learn how to feel empowered in 3D and even 4D realities on Gaia. Yet, without these platforms to ground into and press up against, the necessary healing and eventual Ascension beyond these frequencies could not be happening.
I’m with you on this journey. We are all learning. Being OK with this learning process is what’s most difficult for parts of us. Because it’s scary for them to live in a world, inner and outer, that they feel they have no control over and that seems sometimes to be offering them more pain than healing. The only way to begin to move beyond this suffering and see the beauty of all pitstops and triumphs of this ongoing Ascension journey is to continue to feel what’s real. To go into the reactions to find the real places of vulnerable fears and feelings underneath them. To realize that as difficult as being in 3D can feel to parts of us, it IS navigable and there IS help in many forms to move us into a more healed and healing relationship with it and with life itself.
My beloveds and I are so willing and desirous to hold space for your explorations into all of this and beyond on a personal level. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information on our space-holding offerings and where sessions with us could take you if you feel resonant with us.
When I started to deeply feel parts of me back in 2012, I had that distinct feeling of awakening to something you can’t ever turn away from again. I suddenly had children, inner children, to take care of and take responsibility for. I suddenly wasn’t only the energy of a 20-something and could feel how there were so many other energies, both younger and older, inside of me that were breaking down my heart door in a clamor to be felt!
I quickly met my wounded Inner Child and Inner Teenager. I even met my Gatekeeper/Protector pretty much immediately, as this energy really needed the floor to be felt in all of its years of leading me and parts of me into the fray of ‘seeking’ and never fully finding or being found. This energy needed a ton of mirrors to be able to see it and feel it as separate from me. These mirrors were not always easy to look into… especially with being a ‘20-something’ who had just recently graduated university and shifted outer geographies and was still building a self-image as well as spiritual entrepreneurial ideas.
It’s been nearly 7 whole years since my journey into SoulFullHeart’s version of ‘parts work’ began for me and since then I have met with many different Metasoul aspects of me from other lifetimes, many galactic aspects from different star systems and so on, and many, many different parts of me. This journey was easy to take on, but not always easy to deepen and for different phases I needed to take ‘breaks’ from it, which served to actually help me integrate what I had moved, felt, begun to heal deeply.
Today I am honoured to facilitate this work, to help others open it out inside of themselves and guide them through the sometimes rather rough terrain of really choosing to feel and heal. I get to help others find and feel not only their wounds but their high-vibes too. I get to be a part of this journey alongside them and that is what I treasure!
I hope to see and feel you engage in your journey with this and with us, my beloveds and I, in our wonderful and awe-inspiring community… whether I get to facilitate you directly or just feel you in group sessions online or in person, I look forward to that. I look forward to feeling tears and joys with you and you with me.
For more on SoulFullHeart Healing and our beloved process, visit: soulfullheartwayoflife.com ❤️
Rage sometimes pours out like volcanic lava, ready to burn and melt down, create a reset or reboot as it moves through. We’re barely into 2019, yet already we are feeling what it’s pushing up… more to look at within, more to feel rage at but then find the real hurt and vulnerability underneath it. Anger and the parts that feel it need to be validated. It’s meant to help elucidate what isn’t ok anymore, what needs boundaries set around it, and what needs shifting in any area of your life.
Rage can also become an addiction, like anything else. It can be used by parts of you to self-medicate and avoid feeling vulnerability. It can also be used to avoid feeling others and your impact on them, which, even though they may answer your anger with their own and not seem impacted in a deeper way, they have been… as have you. Your anger has impact on your parts too, especially the ones that do feel more hurt and sadness, self-consciousness, ache for love.
There’s nothing to control here, but there’s a ton to feel and keep feeling. There are so many questions to keep asking. The fire of anger and frustration is needed in phases of awakening and moving forward in your life, yet ultimately it wants to be transmuted into passion and taken in the direction of creation, not destruction. The direction of love… heart-centered and fulfilling.
We cannot skip this step of truly feeling it and getting the good stuff on the other side of it. There’s so much it needs to rumble with yet also so much it needs to shift into as the dust and ashes settle on the new ground being birthed within. The rageful warrior inside holds an invitation to move into a role of ambassador of heart and soul, dropping the sword and baring the heart. This is important to remember, even as the fire burns you up from the inside and wants to spread into your outer world too.
There is ultimately no ‘other’, even when you feel opposition. And if that’s really true… there is always a ton of reflection to take in and be with, get real about, and start loving from these increasingly passionate places within.
Sometimes there’s more to feel than there is to ‘do’. Actions born of your deepest feeling spaces are the ones most connected to your heart, parts, and self-care. They happen while you take yourself with you in all ways.
It feels so natural to me now to be in any situation in my life and be feeling my parts or Metasoul aspects while doing so. I love taking them all with me. It doesn’t feel crazy or weird to me anymore and it doesn’t feel overwhelming either. In fact, learning to feel myself in this way has helped so much with the overwhelm I used to feel in my daily life.
If you’re someone who identifies with anxiety or depression or anything like it, imagine a reality where you can feel these things as parts of you that need your love and attention. Imagine being in a social situation and feeling the activation of the social anxiety a part of you has, but not feeling like this anxiety IS you and instead is something you understand and are learning to love deeply. What if this anxiety comes because you’ve needed it, parts of you have needed it, as a reason to pull out of less-than-nourishing relationships, even for a brief time to collect yourself?
Having a deep consciousness and awareness of your emotional reality on a soul and heart level opens up whole new worlds of understanding your reality, why you’ve drawn what you’ve drawn, and how to start shifting it into health, balance, and more love within and outside of you too.
There’s an invitation and opportunity to dig in instead of accept what has always felt to simply be ‘true’ about you… and to give something brand new the chance to be birthed. Life and this ongoing Ascension process do not want the ailments, pain, and difficulty to endure or remain. Yet, it’s up to your sovereign choice whether or not you are ready to face and heal the trauma by feeling it deeply and giving it air and room to become something different.
My beloveds and I offer powerful and affordable space-holding if you’d like support to go into this: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
We cannot know what will call us next. We can only arise and respond.
We cannot attach to the outcome of that calling, or even how the path will look. We can only trust that it serves, somehow, from within us to us and to others.
Love moves us in ways we cannot predict, though parts of us want to and try! It does not tend to be easy to be with the kickback that sometimes happens inside of us from these parts who are afraid of what your next level of leadership and service mean. They may be afraid of going inward to heal or going outward to lead from the healing inside. Yet they too want more than they’ve experienced of love. They too want to dive in, they just need you to come be with them and show them that the way through the forest is not unknown, just unexplored.
I feel the Divine Mother offering today, “the way is designed yet untried. The path is aligned but untrodden. This is the first experience you’ve had of being in this consciousness, this cultivated Self. You are born and reborn many times in this lifetime alone, to continue to gather up all pieces and parts and find that pure expression of love you’ve always been and always will be. From this you serve. For this you are here. With this, you heal and you ascend, and you intimately join with others in this same dance relationally.
Your being here is enough. Your choice to continue is a miracle. And your heart and soul know the way… always”. ❤️
Our next level EVERYTHING’s are being invited UP now… next level of self-love, next level of service of love, next level of consciousness, awareness, seeing and feeling of the meta-picture holding us and it all…
You may not feel consciously ready for this, yet your soul is holding steady on its course. The trust that is inherent in you may not be something you or parts of you feel intimate with just yet, but it’s coming and it’s here already too.
Visiting with the Divine Mother this morning in the form of Sophia and Mother Mary brought this message to me for me yet for me to share as well. I feel how words themselves can be so hard to use to try and describe it all, yet the main thrust of the messages being brought in can be typed out here to the best of my ability… I’ll likely do a video later today to help bring out the frequencies I’m feeling coming in and through now.
Mother offers, “yes, everything is being invited to soften, to lengthen, to hold more space within you for the service of others. The sacred journey of self-discovery is one that is meant to open out into this place of offering a temporary space for others to lean into on their own journeys of healing and self-discovery. You are a step on a staircase for others’ Ascension just as they, in leaning into you, are a reflection for you and your own process. Whether this leaning is for a long time or a short time, comes in spurts and waves or in long-term flow, matters not much in the wake of their own very personal soul trajectory and story unfolding… all have much to offer themselves and others at this and all times.
Service of others is a calling while the service of love is an unending vocation that lives and breathes in you as you embody it more and more. It has no face, no glamour, no pulpit. It just IS… and it just serves as it does, moves as it does, clears and heals as it does, eventually moving to a place where it’s no longer ‘service’ but just life itself.”
11:11:11 was an important and potent portal for us all as we re-commit to whatever the process is inside that aligns us with the ever-awakening Golden/New Earth reality birthing. Much is being moved out in intense ways right now, showing up in weather and in the physical too. This is the purge that makes room for the new… and shows us all where and how we and the love we have to share is most needed to flow inside of each of us personally and with others too.
Time to BE with the UPdraft of movement into the new, the more expansive, the more super-conscious and loving self, heart, and soul.
Much, much love… ❤
My beloveds and I offer Bridging Sessions if you feel you’d be supported by our energy and what we offer to help you bridge to yourself, your parts, your Metasoul, and your own service of love expression: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session
Recently, I chose to begin space-holding again after a several month break. In this video, I share about my most recent process and also about how I’ve related to service of love in different parts and layers of myself, for many years.
Sharing this video is a way to offer and invite ways to feel where you personally may also be needing and wanting to go inside of yourself as you prepare for service on this journey of Ascension. We are ALL needed to show up and bring our inner love flow to support one another and to hold space for others in their own self-discovery and healing. In order to do that, we need to plant and grow some inner love seeds and cultivate from our own journeys within.
I’m available to serve you in a Bridging Session if you are a young woman 25 years old or younger. For more information on sessions, visit: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions ❤