The Door To Our Inner Garden

By Raphael Awen

And for how long we longed after some door external to us to find our magic, our light, our sparkle, when the door was in our own inner garden all along. 

If this is true, then what seems to predispose us all to look outward or to an other?

We have been convinced that the self is ‘selfish,’ an inherently bad word and a very bad thing, when in truth until you become truly and deeply selfish, youcan in no wise inherit the kingdom of God, for this kingdom and queendom is inside you.

To be fully selfish is to do and be what brings you the fullest and deepest pleasure. How could that not be to the fullest and deepest pleasure of all of life and every living thing around you.

Shortchanging yourself is shortchanging the world and everyone around you. 

Your problem isn’t that you are self centred, it is that you are not centred in yourself enough to the true degree and depths of that which you really are and with what you really want. 

Give up the pretence that you have no self-interest for when in fact, as a self, that is all you have.

Show me your most noble self-less act, and then show me how you are not deriving a personal return from it. 

Until we reconcile this inside of ourselves, the door to our own inner garden of our magic remains sealed.

How could it be any different?

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

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Holding Genuine Empathy & Love For Others

by Kalayna Solais

The conditioning is deep around what we’ve been taught real love and care is and looks like. It’s challenging to feel it in different ways, to take a deep look at how we’ve related to love and how we’ve been convinced we’re supposed to embody it.

So often what we think of as loving or caring can have more of a negative impact on others than a positive one. False apologies, empty promises, tugging and grabbing at others… these frequencies can be obvious or subtle. And in any case, we aren’t genuinely caring about our impact on others, only what parts of us want and are afraid they won’t get or look like on the outside. I so know this one from my own process too, and learning to see and feel even the subtle ways in which this happens is illuminating and invites you to shift these patterns for good.

This is tricky… and hard to feel too. It can be hard to look inward and challenge how we have been holding love and what it means to love another, whether in official ‘service of love’ or in everyday relationships. It’s amazing what it illuminates within though, which is so often an untouched inner reality of how we ourselves, and parts of us, have felt incredibly unworthy of real love, abandoned somehow, and in a void space that has never been filled by genuine self-love and the journey of unfolding that within.

So what does it look and feel like to actually care and love another person?

To me, it feels like giving space for another’s growth without tugging on them to join in on yours. It feels like inviting someone to share with you what they need and want, but not with a commitment from you to make it happen for them. It feels like the overflow of good inner-parenting, of relating to yourself and getting to know your own quirks and shadowy aspects and energies within you as well as your gifts and growth and flowing this energy to another to support their own inner-parenting to grow and blossom too. It feels like being willing to let go even when your heart really doesn’t want to.

It’s a lot to feel into these pieces and truth be told, I’m not sure any of us can truly master this skill of loving another in the purest way… though we can definitely care about this journey and continue to do the inner healing to help us get there. We and parts of us all have understandable investments in relationships of all kinds and hopes that they will last too. We all have desires and dreams and don’t really ever want to feel lonely (though really landing in the loneliness has so many gifts too)… we all have what we want to experience from others and in our lives in general. Yet love asks us to trust… to invest in the process yet divest of the outcome. To feel what we want most and understand that it won’t always come to us in ways we can control, and also, to see it all as a process that can only ever begin within. We really DO have to BEcome the love we want to draw on the outside and share with others too!

Above all, love wants us to remember that it is never against us or anybody else, though it can feel that way at times. It only ever wants us to experience more of it within so that we can share it with others. This flow of love is really all the ‘service of love’ is anyways, though it can be dressed up in many ways and be given many labels and is not always easy to truly embody for ourselves, let alone others.

Much love to you as you continue to experience your own journey into more and more REAL love, and the path of learning to embody love in the most authentic way possible. ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Falling IN Love

Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

By Raianna Shai

In the past few weeks I have been trying to find the space and time to write a blog post, finding that I have struggled to “force” something profound and meaningful out of me when sometimes just living is as profound as you need to be in any moment. I have so much desire to serve love to others and to share what I learn on my awakening journey. Even now, I have many ideas of what I could write about but the words aren’t flowing as easily as they have in the past.

So as I sit here with an open heart, energy and time, I decided just to write about where I am currently in my life. That is what’s most authentic and flows from my heart with ease.

Right now I am falling in love. With myself, with other, with my life and family. I am falling in love inside and outside. I am growing and changing and facing my fears as much as I possibly can to continue letting in all of this love.

My inner process has been focused on a feminine and masculine part of me who are also learning to fall in love. They both have desires, needs, boundaries and fears. My feminine part, who I am calling Shai, is emotional and passionate and a true romantic at heart. My masculine part, named Michael, is discerning, intelligent and has a gift of holding 3D tasks. Together, they are balanced and full of love. Apart, they are opposite forces working against one another creating fear, anxiety and projection onto others.

Because of the abundance of goodness in my life right now, I have been focusing on these two parts in order to be able to continue letting it all in. It’s easy for parts to get scared when things are going well. In a dimension where things tend to “go wrong”, we can make predictions ahead of time of what may not work or what we might lose. In that, we lose the moment. We lose what we have in the present and we don’t get everything out of it that we could.

I’m working on not expecting the worse. On not bracing myself for the impact of something bad. But first, I feel the parts that do expect the worst and discover why that is. The more that Shai and Michael vulnerably share their fears with me, the more they will fall in love and fall in tandem with one another. That’s when their gifts can shine and that love can be shared with others.

We talk about inner sacred union a lot for a reason. It’s so important to start within. To grow the glow of love so brightly that it shines through every pore and into those around you.

*****

I found this poem from almost two years ago that I thought was fitting for this! It’s from my masculine too my feminine:

I always thought I was different than the other men

More sensitive

More emotional

More mature

 

I thought I was protecting you from the other men

Giving you edges

Hiding your feelings

Numbing your reactions

 

I thought you’d be hurt by the other men

They would crack you into pieces

They would scratch your porcelain skin

They would break your fragile heart

 

But now I see your strength as a woman

Your compassion

Your empathetic prowess

Your stillness and energy, both

 

I thought I could hide you as a woman

Under formless clothing

Under quick-witted comebacks

Under disinterest in romance

 

Maybe now I can support you as a woman

Become the mind to your heart

Become the here to your now

Become the pot to your plant

 

I’m not meant to be your guard,

But instead your partner

Your partner in this dance

Few know the steps to

 

Where our rhythms match,

Our hearts unite

And our souls release the energy

Of every star in the nighttime sky

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Service Of Love As A Mirror

By Gabriel Heartman

I have been holding space for two remarkable women that have had a lot of deep processing of past pain, both this life and others. It has been such an honor to be a part of their movements and realizations that have come from their own dedications to themselves and their desire for self-love and service to others. 

During our time together there have been moments of needing to flow with a ‘passionate advocacy’ for each of them and that can get triggering to parts that have inner wounds around what may be interpreted as a ‘bullying’. This is what I wrote about in my last post. 

It felt important to share their responses of their perspective on that and how being a caring mirror and conduit of real love can be challenging yet rewarding. It also reminds me to continue to work my stuff so that I can Be and offer that to others. This is especially true between a man and a woman where there can be so much charge between the masculine and feminine in the shadow. But it is that dynamic which brings the deepest healing to the surface. 

*****

“Thank you so much, Gabriel. I love all your reflections and you can’t imagine how much they are helping to integrate the session, expand my consciousness, bring context to current situations and patterns as well as past ones and bring my inner family together and growing me more. I took in your last message when I was sitting down by the ocean and it was pure balm for my soul, heart and nervous system. It was an explanation for so much and I will take it in again and again because there’s so much in there that struck a chord and that facilitated big shifts. I saw and felt my inner feminine and masculine shaking hands, wanting to start to respect each other and working together ❤”- Bianca

*****

“Gabriel, I loved your post yesterday about “tough love.” Thank you for putting it out there. While I had parts reactions to our session, your “passionate advocacy” was exactly what I needed in order to push myself to really become my own loving presence for my inner teenager, rather than letting that part convince me that only someone else could take care of her. I could really feel the difference between your advocacy, rather than toxic tough love. Yours is the type of healthy love that all of us have needed in this life. It’s clean and safe, and doesn’t allow for enmeshment and attachment. Feels really good to learn and experience that for real! ❤”- Devon

*****

I am honored to be in this space with both of them as they have taught me a lot about my own heart and where I have grown and still have places to continue to grow and heal. I am so very grateful.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Finding Love In The Darkness

By Gabriel Heartman

In the Darkness, the Light of Love can be found when you choose to let it in despite the pain. It is actually the pain itself that cracks open the heart from where the river of Love and Understanding flow.

The resistance to feeling the darkest places is a sacred negotiation. It is there as a gestation period for when the time is right and ripe. When it presents itself, you are being offered an opportunity to go deeper into your Being and come out with the experience that All is held in Love no matter the circumstance. This is the Holy moment of returning to Wholeness.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Your Heaven Exists In The NOW

By Raphael Awen

In my lifetime this life, I’ve gone from fearing I wouldn’t go to heaven when I die, to being assured I’d go to heaven when I die, to now coming to a place of realizing that I no longer am that interested in going to heaven when I die.

Placing our desire for heaven or golden earth in a future hope serves to veil the very real existence of our higher self’s reality in the Now.

Everything you want, you already have. The very real seeming perception of something lacking or missing is a guidepost to help you return to the realization that what you seek was actually never lost, but only veiled from your awareness for a specific purpose of growth – growth for you and growth for love itself.

Laments about the past, and desires for your future are things that occur in your present, that obscure you from the larger Now, wherein exists all you can imagine and infinitely more.

If this is all true, or real, then what’s left is to bridge to the parts of you who are understandably not so convinced of this Now of golden earth. What’s left is to bridge to the Gatekeeper aspect of us who has worked hard to maintain the needed veil between our conscious self (and selves) and our awakening self (and selves). The need for the veil is changing every day. We’re entering a new order of things, internally and externally.

You are awakening from a dream. There’s a ton to adjust and acclimate to, but this is where the fun comes in. This is where purpose and reward comes in.

This is where fulfilling your plan ‘A’ comes in. Plan ‘B’ can take its place in our keepsake box, a sacred reminder that it’s all sacred.

Your and my heaven can only and ever exist in the Now. It’s only through the Now that you can access it. Past, present and future (and time itself) are only emanations from this deeper substance of all things reality called love.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

The Alchemy Of Being Real

These are alchemical times. We are being defined, refined, and aligned. All of these celestial events are markers and signposts along the way. Just as lead is turned into gold, so is the process of our spiritual and emotional maturation. Our impurities are not judged but rather loved into transmutation and integration for nothing is truly impure in the heart of Love. 


Along this journey, you may hit roadblocks, detours, traffic circles, and U-turns. You may get a flat tire, road rage, and blown engine. That is okay. Each is an opportunity to become more aware of yourself, your traumas, your fears, and your desires. I am personally coming into this state as I allow myself to step further into my leadership and my truth. My relationship to both have been in ebb and flow. A going within to feel what is at stake and being willing to become more vulnerable from whatever place I am in at the moment, even if it does not appear to seem ‘higher’ or ‘spiritual’. We are meant to be real first, and then feel where we have places to go. 

This is the definition and refining period. This is where the ‘rubber meets the road’. Where you are meant to catapult into the New without leaving any rock unturned. There is no skipping steps. No ‘getting ahead’. Just getting real. 

This alchemical process is held in Love with the Divine and your Higher Self alongside guides and Star Family. You have support ‘here’ too. Seeking loving mirrors that can support and aid in that transmutation and birthing process. That is what I do for others and for myself daily. It is a way of life this way of being, seeing, and feeling. It is an ongoing journey. It is getting in touch with the You within you. Or maybe more specifically the Yous within you. The parts and metasoul aspects that make up your tapestry. Your Alchemist’s elementals. 

The disclosure of all that lies within gets purified by this alchemy and you arise renewed and re-membered back into Love. 

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Secret: Feel The Parts, THEN Manifest

By Raianna Shai

**TLDR; I’m starting a project of reading all of the most popular spiritual books that I hear of to learn about what others are taking in so that I can share my own personal take on them. In “The Secret” I resonate with the idea of manifestation and our capacity to draw whatever it is we want. However, I believe that you have to feel the blocks that are in the way and the parts of you that don’t feel your power. They have very good reasons to feel this way and shouldn’t be bypassed in this process.**

I grew up in a spiritual household for a good portion of my life. The sweet scent of incense, the soothing sound of meditation music, a mother and step father that would talk about their spiritual and emotional explorations. But to be honest, I wasn’t all that into is as something to deeply explore myself as a teenager.

By the time I chose to try SoulFullHeart with my family I still hadn’t had a phase of spiritual exploration that most young people have when newly awakening. Because of this I really just have the SoulFullHeart lens that, while it resonates on every level so far, isn’t something that most people know about. Especially people my own age.

So I decided that in order to truly understand spiritual people my age, I could start by reading the most popular books from the classics to the more modern takes on spirituality. I really want to dive into the heart of someone who has a buffet of spiritual beliefs to dive into and figure out how I feel about it myself. So the next time someone brings up “The Power of Now”, I can have something to digest about it.

————————————————————————————————

The first book I’ve chosen to dive into is “The Secret”. I first saw this documentary on Netflix and tried to watch but couldn’t quite get into it. It felt a bit dramatic to be honest and it energized this feeling that this is something that has been taken away from us to remove our power and make us feel like we can’t change every fiber of our daily lives. I do agree that there is a veil in place that stands in the way of the ultimate capacity of our beings, but I also feel that we chose this and that a big part of why we’re here is to heal enough to dissolve this veil.

For those of you who haven’t read this book, the secret they are referencing is the Law of Attraction. It says that like attracts like – which means that whatever you think is attracted to you. If you think that you are poor, you will be. If you think that you are rich, you will be.

My first reaction from a part of me was that this seems very oversimplified. I feel that we have chosen certain circumstances and while we have the choice to heal them or not, some things are just meant to happen whether we think high vibe thoughts or not.

However, I do resonate with the idea that once we find our absolute joy and become more of our higher selves we will draw and manifest just about anything we want to. I definitely believe in the power of intention and the energy of the universe. I also really like that it encourages you to have gratitude for what you have NOW as a part of it all. Gratitude is such an important part of manifesting something new. Where my feelings differ though are how to get there.

“The Secret” mentions a lot about replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. While that’s a nice sentiment I think it takes something different and some hard inner work for everyone to get to this positive and joyful place. For me, it is parts work and the process we do in SoulFullHeart. For someone else it might be breathwork or shamanism. I feel that if you can get deep enough inside of yourself to reach the parts of you that don’t believe in your power or joy, then it is a fast track to feeling exactly that.

I think it’s a very empowering and expanding practice to picture and energize exactly what you want in your life. It sends a message out to the universe and it will manifest for you. Not thinking of the how or when but knowing that you can have it. But it’s also empowering to feel the parts of you that just don’t believe, that feel like they’ll never get what they want. Without first feeling your blocks to manifestation with love and trust, you will have a harder time manifesting anything. These parts have valid reasons for feeling the way they do and I really don’t believe they should be bypassed.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling & Being Felt Clears The Way To Your New Reality

By Kalayna Solais

The heart space clears as tears fill the chambers that were once closed off and sealed.

Sometimes giving yourself space to cry, to just let out what’s been pent up or buried for so long, is the deepest gift.

Frustrations need space to come out from parts of you who feel they’ve been used and neglected, who’ve needed to be incredibly walled-off and protected from a world that has seemed quite heartless and cruel in their experience of it.

To be able to trust another with these tears as they hold space for you to have them is powerful… to be felt deeply and tenderly by another who is qualified to hold this space by their capacity to hold space for themselves and who hold a NEW legacy from their own space-holders who have felt them deeply too.

It can take a long time to trust this shared heart space and there are so many very good reasons why this has been true.

The new sense of what it means to be empathic and to feel another, walking with them on their way to healing as they become more and more empowered to hold that space for themselves too… and eventually others… this is what makes the journey of refining who you are as a ‘healer’ in this world worth it and the journey of serving love that constantly challenges you to keep serving and receiving love from yourself, from the Divine, to yourself, worth it.

I’ve been moved so many times by those I’ve held space for and it always helps me find movements within too. To me, the part of serving love that fills me up the most is to hold and offer the energies I give myself and also receive from those I love and trust. Feeling the love move through and from me to someone in a session, helping their cup fill back up again, is not only rewarding but always clears my heart space out too, making room for me to feel whatever is next for me to feel for myself and my own parts/Metasoul.

And so is the new INvitation to heart-led, vulnerable leadership and healership too… so is the journey into 5D/Golden Earth reality. Though the road can seem long and winding, we ARE in this together, and we are moving upward with every sober yet alive step inward…

And every vulnerable, aching tear our parts are willing to feel as what hasn’t been that reality moves more and more out of our fields and current reality.

~

I would love to serve you in session space if what I’m describing resonates for you! My beloveds are available as well… http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Vulnerability In Relationship

By Raianna Shai

I wrote this poem after having just the right day to open up my heart. Whenever this happens every space inside of me that feels like a void fills up with gratitude and appreciation of my environment and the people around me. I was reminded of why I tend to feel guarded around others and how good it feels to be intimate in relationship.

I am very good at being alone. I have always been independent and able to entertain myself quite easily. I thought recently that I would be happier and more opened out living on my own. But the fact that living with others is harder and scarier means it’s probably what I’m meant to be working.

I was feeling how it’s so easy to feel misunderstood or judged by others when you have that living inside of yourself. Whenever my insecurity was high, I found that it was harder to let others in and be vulnerable. I also remembered how much I love physical touch and how important it is to increase the intimacy in relationships. A lingering hug here, a friendly cuddle there. I always saved this for when I was in a romantic relationship because that’s where it felt safe and accepted.

But telling someone what they mean to you and showing physical affection are two things that are bound to be scary. It means you are seeing the other and therefore “risk” being seen yourself. This can bring up a lot of fear if a sense of lack or unworthiness lives inside of you.

I have a big desire to go to the next place in all of my relationships in order to work this push pull inside of me when it comes to intimacy. This poem illustrates the feeling I had of that!

~~~

In the moments that my heart splits open
Gratitude fills every atom of my soul
My body sways with tenderness and care
I want to wrap my arms around every lonely heart
Connecting to oneness and collective love

My fingers trace the edges of my frame
It runs along every crack
Every bump
Every inconsistency
It fills my emptiness with loving energy
It brings out the softness underneath the surface

Soft vulnerability is hard to show
The sweet caress of your own beauty
Uniquely separate from those around you
Yet intertwined in insecurity and fear

I feel overwhelmed by the thought of my loved ones
The way they move through life
The way they see and care for me
When I can’t see myself

You are so brave, dear one
To be a bright green growth
In a grey sidewalk crack
Constantly fearing the underside of passing steps
The shadow side of humanity

I see you, I feel you
I want you, I need you
I feel scared to tell you
That I admire you
And hope you admire me too

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.