By Deva Yasmin
Being in a sacred union pushes up all that is hidden, that wants to stay safe and protected from Love.
Even though I have desired so badly to experience Love, now that it is here I get the opportunity to see all the defenses and ways I have unconsciously been pushing it away at the same time.
I longed to meet the one who would stay and Be with all of me, not yet realizing the one IS me. And HAS to be me first, to truly let Love in with another.
I see now how past relationships that couldn’t stay and be with all of me were a reflection of my own inability to accept, love and be present to myself.
Since meeting James, I have constantly been gifted the opportunity to see, feel and start to heal all the places that still push love away. As my heart desires to expand to let in all the goodness there is between us, those painful places of rage, anger, grief have been coming up to be vulnerably felt, to soften as they receive compassion allowing them to return to their original love source. Clearing space in my heart to let love flow through again.
I feel how his ability to stay grounded and true to himself as these emotions surface, now reflects my own ability to do the same for myself.
I see now that to have a fulfilling relationship, to open to all the love, goodness and passion we so desire, it is an INside job.
That the goodness can lie dormant under the frozen parts of our hearts and souls, until thawed out by the light of our conscious, loving, curious attention.
It feels like the ability to stay here, for ALL experiences especially the uncomfortable ones is the ground where trust is built. To be able to express ALL parts of myself and feel I am safe and deserve love for ALL of who I am, is giving me the space to heal from the story that I need to be ‘good’ in order to be loved.
Through this process I feel the liberation of our authentic joy, our innocence, our ability to love without conditions because when we feel we are loved in our shadow then we can finally feel safe to express the full spectrum of our light.
When pain arises in a relationship, it feels so engrained in us to overfocus on what needs to change within the relationship. It feels new to make going withIN to feel the frozen, hidden parts of ourselves priority, which organically shifts the ground of our togetherness.
This is what myself and James are constantly realizing since beginning individual sessions with Jelelle and Raphael. That to face the pain within ourselves first, truly transforms our relationship. To go INwards, focusing instead on our own inner relationships with parts of us, gives us a new understanding, empathy and way of BEing, with each other.
That is totally delicious and worth all the ‘effort’ it feels it takes, to align to this new way of REALating….
Deva Yasmin is a SoulFullHeart facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.