A Love Story: Part Three (In The Midst Of Love)

By Raianna Shai

The following writing is one very close to my heart. These are actually lyrics to a song I wrote in that phase of a relationship when it’s been long enough that you know each other inside and out. Your friendship is formed and the romance is alive. I’m not exactly a lyrical genius but it came from my heart and I don’t often write songs!

A relationship based on mutual growth and healing requires a sharing of the innermost tender and vulnerable parts of you. You begin to understand when and why walls come up or what triggers stress and anxiety in them. You notice the little things that you love about them and what makes their heart truly glow. The bond deepens from physical infatuation to deep and growing trust and respect.

This is the time when comfort begins to sink in. You no longer have to work hard to try and win them over, you don’t feel so self conscious about yourself or your habits, you feel a sense of calm and hope that your feelings for them can last. This is the phase that we long for! The fire still burns yet you feel at home within the bond.

We work hard inside and out to get to this place but ultimately, getting here is the easy part. The next part is trickier. Retaining your mutual growth, passion, respect and love for each other is the truly difficult part. Choosing everyday to understand yourself so that you can continue to be vulnerable, honest and real together. I’ll talk more about this on my next post 💞

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A Love Story: Part Three
In The Midst Of Love

You make me and my
Whole heart smile when you
Look at me that way

You make me wanna be a
Better person, each and
Every single day

I know that It’s not
Easy being here
But I’m glad that you are

I wanna make you
Happy dear because you
Shine just like the stars

~ Chorus ~
I’ll hold your inner child’s hand
As we run under the moon
I’ll soothe your guard’s worried looks
And soon he’ll make me swoon

Your punisher is next
And him I’ll love the most
Your feminine will help me show
How our hearts can be so close

~~~

The moment you feel
Lost and lonely know that
You are not alone

Even when the
Earth starts shakin look
Inside to find you’ve grown

I know that it’s not
Easy being here
But it’s worth a try

I wanna make me
Happy dear because our
Love can reach the sky

~ Chorus ~

And when we start to touch the soul
Our bond will deepen evermore
My dream is to get close to you
Be intimate and break right through

~ Chorus ~

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free consultations and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

A Love Story: Part Two (Falling In Love)

By Raianna Shai

The next part of this story is the part that we tend to spend our lives looking for: falling in love. The new and exciting rush of meeting someone that has an equal interest in us as we do in them. A new pair of eyes to see you, new ears to hear your passions and desires, new hands to touch the lonely and unloved parts of you inside and out. It sparks a hope in us that nothing like love can. We hope that this person will be the one we can grow with, who will understand us and treat us the way we’ve always dreamed of being treated.

More importantly than this outside love is what it sparks inside of us. It can allow us to love ourselves more than ever before while also bringing up our deepest insecurities. We begin by showing the brightest and shiniest parts of ourselves, hoping that will win them over. The way we enter a relationship is so telling of where we are at on the inside.

I remember the moment I wrote this poem, sitting under a tree staring out at the water. I felt elated and overcome by pure hope and love. I looked up at the leaves and they looked brighter than usual, almost as if they were glowing. In that moment I remembered feeling this way before. And then I remembered it fading and eventually leaving me completely. But it didn’t matter. Feeling it again reminded me of why we continue to search for this feeling over and over again even when it leads to pain or heartbreak.

This feeling is a reminder of what we are capable of feeling, with or without another person. All someone else can do is illuminate what’s possible in our own hearts and souls. Each relationship gets us closer and closer to this feeling of ecstasy and love inside of ourselves and without another person. We can feel this way with the divine, with our own inner parts, with our inner sacred union.

Without heartbreak, shadow and pain we cannot understand what it truly feels like to be in love and peace from the inside out. 💛

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A Love Story: Part Two
Falling In Love

This feeling of falling in love
With you and
With every part of me
Is like coming home

This is what my soul knows
What it’s been waiting to come back to
To feeling nourished
To feeling loved from the inside out
To loving the outside in

I see your face and smile
And even if it doesn’t work out
This feeling right here, right now
Is worth it all
This is what it’s all about

Freezing this moment and remembering
This is what we work so hard to get back to
This is why we dive deep
This is why we feel our shadow

Love,
Raianna Shai
SoulFullHeart Way Of Life

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free consultations and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

A Love Story: Part One (Heartbreak & Healing)

By Raianna Shai

I woke up this morning with the urge to create through writing but couldn’t quite figure out what I wanted to write about. I started scrolling through the notes in my phone and found several writings I wrote over the past two years that really brought me back to the moment and phase they were written. Interestingly, I found 6 pieces that seemed to represent a cycle from beginning to end and back to the beginning again.

This cycle in particular represented the phase of the ending of a relationship, to the beginning of a new one, to the end once again. It felt like a really beautiful arc of letting in and letting go and everything that goes on in between. I felt myself recognizing the patterns of relationships and realizing that even when things come to an end, they are so worth the journey in and out.

This isn’t just true for romantic relationships but for careers, geographical moves, finding your soul purpose, healing a trauma and moving into your next phase of growth. As humans, we continually go through cycles in every part of our lives and the only thing we can do is become conscious of them. After a death of a phase you may wonder, what’s the point? But looking back you may notice how much has changed from beginning to end.

Falling in love is beautiful, messy, painful, exhilarating and everything in between but just like any other death and rebirth, it’s so important in facilitating our growth. Each layer brings new realizations and understanding of what it means to find love and purpose in these human and divine lives of ours. We cannot exist without cycles, for without them we cannot understand the gift of being human.

To show what I mean I thought I would share these 6 writings as a marker of each layer that these cycles can illuminate and provide. Particularly in the context of relationships. The first one I felt to share is both the ending of one relationship and the beginning of another. Marking the phase of overlapping death and rebirth ❤️

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A Love Story: Part One
Heartbreak & Healing

I sit here
Gathering the pieces of my heart
Trying to glue them back together
The mismatched edges
And sharp corners
Almost fitting perfectly
And then not at all

You wait there
Patiently watching my broken pieces
That long for that perfect edge’s embrace
Slowly come together
All the while knowing
That one day I will come

I will come with just enough pieces
To hold together the contents of my love
When I am still chipped, but no longer broken

You are there
With your chipped pieces
Already glued together
With as much accuracy as truth can allow

And we come together
Look at that!
Our broken pieces create a mosaic of lost loves and tearful goodbyes
Not perfect, but beautiful all the same

Love,
Raianna Shai
SoulFullHeart Way Of Life

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free consultations and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Intimacy As A Spiritual Path

Intimacy is our next frontier. At least it has been mine for the last 10 years. Intimacy with Self, the Divine, and Other. As I continue up this ascension path, I have realized how non-intimate I have been most of my life. When you start to really get to the nuts and bolts, it is quite stark how this is true for all of us.

It is vulnerable to be intimate. To see and be seen in all our textures both ‘good’ and not-so-good. When I lived on my own and in a community of One, I could avoid at lot of things and I was blind to a lot of things as well. It was up to me to challenge myself. That is a good thing too, but when it comes organically you really see yourself (or selves) in more authentic ways.

Kasha and I have found ourselves in a very tiny place before we move on to Portugal in July with our soul fam. It has brought up a lot to be with in our union. Edges and irritations that are possible to avoid when in a larger area. This is a birth canal for us. It can be a deepening or completing when you get real at each moment.

The lack of space brings us in closer contact with our inner truths and needs. Do these align, or do they separate? This is true in all moments in conscious, sacred union. Through this I get to see myself more authentically as well as my own relationship to the Divine. Without that we would be navigating this thing like a boat at sea without a rudder or sails.

Intimacy with all three brings us to new dimensions of our humanity and our spirituality. Our Humanality. In years past I would have sought more solitude, but now I feel different. I need Others. I need my beloved community. I need Kasha. I need the Beloved. I need intimacy. They are the portals into New Earth. Into a new me.

This is not an easy path. I have lot more to learn, discover, and embody. I am grateful for that, for her, for community, for Love. I realize that intimacy IS a spiritual path. It is an initiation to our Humanality. I am here to walk that path as well as serve that path. I am a student and teacher of the path of sacred intimacy. I am both surprised and honored by that. This is my journey and curriculum.

For those that are seeking more intimacy in your life’s journey please reach out. We are all here to support you along the way. I do offer a free 45-minute intro call to see how we may do that.

Here’s to your sacred intimate ascension journey.

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Surrendering To Our Sovereign Relationship To Love

The words ‘sovereignty‘ and ‘surrender‘ can be quite the portals for the masculine in us all. They are especially highlighted in relationships of all kinds. In the ongoing journey of healing my intimacy wounds, I have come to these gateways many times. Who is this ‘me’ in the we of intimate relationship? How do I maintain my own truth, needs, and desires without feeling like I am acquiescing or submitting to someone else’s truth, needs, and desires?

Before I left California 8 years ago, I lived a life that would be defined as ‘sovereign’. I was not in many relationships after my divorce, and when I was, sovereignty was a big trigger as well as commitment. Inside there was a part of me that wanted his cake and eat it too. That old wounded masculine conditioned standard. Intimacy was more about sex and having a good time rather than getting to the bare bones of my heart-truth and my deeper needs as human man.

Then I found myself in a sacred, conscious romance as well as sacred, conscious community. Those flared up that ‘sovereignty gene’ I want to call it. That switch that says, “Oh, woah! Wait! Time-out. What is going on here? I am I giving away something that I cherish for the sake of something that I am not familiar with?”. The question was, what was it that a part of me cherished and what was it not familiar with?

At the core, I found that a part of me cherished non-vulnerability and wasn’t familiar with vulnerability. Even deeper, I realized it was an existential fear of Love that was at the root of it all. When I felt the ‘me’ that was independent, sovereign, and non-vulnerable, I found a man that was lost, unhappy, and alone. Only he wasn’t able to admit that at the time. With anyone.

As men (or the masculine in women), we can so very much defend our sovereignty at the cost of real Love. That somehow Love and Sovereignty are separate and adversarial. I feel our relationship to our mothers as a pivotal piece to this equation. They represent that from which we were born from. We received love in one form or another and then we needed to break away from that to find our individuation. Our authentic manhood that needed to push away, but more healthfully could have been initiated into it by a more conscious mother and father energy.

If we did not have that, and I would say most if not all of us did, then we are continually in this push-pull relationship to Other. To Love. To Intimacy. Surrender becomes more ‘submission’ than an opening into vulnerability which is all done with our sovereignty intact. We actually can never lose our sovereignty. We are born free, yet have been convinced we are in chains. When you see those chains are really about our fear of Love and our deep separation wound, you start to unhook those chains one by one.

This is a deep soul choice to heal this wound. It is not an easy one. It brings up a lot to witness and feel. A lot to be sober about in our shadow. Yet, it also brings in a new sense of freedom. A freedom to Be. To express. To surrender into without losing ourselves, but rather re-membering ourselves. It offers Love beyond what we had been conditioned and wounded into believing is love. This is the sovereign journey back into true surrender and true power. The power of conscious Love.



Raphael Awen and I will be hosting a men’s group call this Saturday at 5pm BST via Zoom. We will be talking about these topics as well as offering a guided meditation and sharing space. You can go to soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls for more information.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

The New Frontier Of Sacred Sexuality

This coming Sunday, Jelelle and Raphael will be hosting a group call over Zoom on Sacred Sexuality (www.soulfullheart.org/events). This topic has a lot of energy to it in a variety of ways.

So much of our human story is wrapped up in our sexuality. What it is or isn’t. What it has been used for or used as. What we have been affected by or traumtized by. We all have a different relationship to it.

From an early age, sexuality was seen as a means to some kind of validation. I was shown a Playboy magazine when I was 7 years old in the basement of a neighbors house. I was told to do things that felt weird in order to be given the luxury of seeing it and bearing witness to it.

From that point on, sex was also seen as something taboo and mysterious. It became an obsession in my teenage years and fomented a consciousness that became quite a suffering ground. I took to pornography as a means to satiate this need for power, adequacy, and intimacy (without actually being intimate).

When I met Kasha in the beginning of my SoulFullHeart healing journey, I got to see how my sexuality was out of synch with my emotionality. My heart and my ligham were not necessarily in the same room at the same time. Shame would come up at times in response to this which led me down the Freudian mother wounding path that I needed to address in order to fully embody my more healthy sexuality.

I can’t tell you how much suffering was embedded in my relationship to sex. Through much deep-diving and connecting to my parts and Metasoul around it, I feel like I am just starting to begin a new journey with sexuality in a sacred way in my reunion with Kasha.

It is more about the sexuality inside of me first. What is THAT all about?! This feeling of my own inner sex is tantalizing and curious. It is rooted in creativity and Love. It is wanting to have sex with the World and the Yoniverse. It wants to produce works of art, writing, music, and dance.

The sexuality between Kasha and myself wants to head into more of the energetic heart and soul exchange rather than just the standard-bearer of genital sex (not that I don’t enjoy that too!😊🔥). There are portals and merkabas to explore and discover. There is deep passion and Love that are meant to be birthed into the world through our union of energies.

I feel a more grounded and mature relationship to sexuality now. One that is embodied and through a healing heart and clear soul. It is a new frontier that is beyond pleasure yet includes it in a much more healthy way that I feel I have always longed for since the day in that basement.

If you feel a draw to this healing and renewed relationship to sexuality with Self, Other, and the Divine please join the call this coming Sunday at 5pm GMT. More information at www.soulfullheart.org/events. There you will also find information on our upcoming Men’s Group call on Power, Adequecy, and Vulnerability on March 27th.

Much love and hot sex. 🔥❤️🕺🏼💃

Aurius Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

My REunion with Aurius (Formerly, ‘Gabriel’)

by Kasha Rokshana

For you, with you… Within me…

I’ve fallen asleep beside you, only to wake up without you, but then realized with inner work and great patience (that sometimes boiled with so much ache I could barely hold it), how I get to (we get to) to claim this awakening all over again…

A light has always burned for you, stayed on for you, in my heart. A beacon has always been lit in my soul, cascading across the sky of the Divine, reaching somehow for you yet letting you go too.

When you meet the King that holds the keys to your heart AND soul AND body desires, efforts to cling or tug or ‘keep him’ actually flow against the tide of drawing him deeper into you, into your field, and into your mutual connection that spans so many lifetimes… And against the moving tides of change and growth within, that sometimes need to happen solo, without him ‘in the room’.

I am loving and appreciating this beloved man who I have known for nearly 9 years, anew. I am feeling and reeling in the depths and textures of our connection in ways I wasn’t expecting. I didn’t know he was about to ‘throw his hat back in the ring’ and claim a desire for me after this time ‘apart’ romantically… But I’m sure glad he did.

This adventure with you, Aurius, is one I glow with from deep inside… I feel it in places that have been sleeping, that have needed to let go of any dream of it. Now the blood flow of passion and desire is waking up these dormant places and I love every moment of our ‘waking up next to each other’ that is happening now… ❤️

I love this service-of-love life that we live inside of ourselves… And more and more inside of this sacred USness we share.

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Knots: A Sacred Union Transmission

by Kasha Rokshana

Show me your knots, beloved.

The ones you’re still untying.

The ones sometimes buried

Beneath showing up

And being ‘enough’.

Show me the in-betweens, beloved.

The ones that slip in when least expected

In less-than-graceful moments that may last but a second.

The ones that remind of your humanity

And taste of burgeoning essence untethered.

Show me the faults, the land mines, the pot holes.

Show me the dents in the well-tailored armor,

The very same worn in those worn-out days.

I’ll show all of mine too, beloved.

My knots,

My in-betweens,

My faults, land mines, pot holes, and dents.

Even better…

Let’s reveal them together

In moments far from planned

And entirely up to fate.

Beloved… may our imperfections mix,

Our desires mingle

And our drive to become,

Heal,

And offer more

Bring out the soul stuff we crave

Held by the heart stuff we deepen

And healed within each other’s open hands.

Love,

Kasha ❤️

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

10/10 Group Transmission Call: Sacred Union Within & With Other | With Raphael & Jelelle Awen

Sacred union is such a blessed experience…for the gifts, the challenges, the MIRROR, it continually offers us! If we have drawn and signed up to experience it with a deep soul/counterpart mate, then the gifts seem to be exponentially revealed over time. The experience of relationships CAN be a bliss mess, though, of highs and lows. And they push up so much to feel and see about yourself and parts of you.

Exploring the grounds of inner sacred union, feeling/connecting with your inner masculine aspect and your inner feminine aspect (however they show up in the moment), DOES help to navigate outer sacred unions/relationships. As you heal the polarities within you between your masculine and feminine (as so often templated by birth parents), a sense of union is experienced between them. It is truly a beautiful experience that has its own self sustaining nourishment factor.

And then, add on a sacred union mate to experience this blooming and overflowing inner sacred union WITH you…and it truly provides growth and love experience like no other. I feel that you are more likely to draw this kind of mate experience when you are connected to your sacred union within in a deep way. The inner overflows to the outer.

In one week from today, my beloved mate Raphael and I would like to share a transmission of this sacred union within and outer energies with you that we have cultivated together over the last 12 years. This will be our first group call from Avalon/Glastonbury and these lands of such potent Divine masculine and feminine energies!

We will share about our personal journeys around experiencing sacred union within with our inner masculine and feminine parts, along with their experience together over the years of a sustaining, deepening, and resonant love together due to this process.

We will lead you on a powerful and deep meditative journey to connect with your inner masculine and feminine. Yeshua Christ and Mary Magdalene will join us as Divine Feminine and Masculine energies of support and ambassadorship and transmission as we bring in the Michael and Mary energy line energies here at the heart chakra of Gaia. We will provide a bridge to your inner sacred union consciousness, call in your potential sacred union mate, and within the circle of Oneness that is created during the call as well.

The call will be on October 10 at 5:00pm BST/9:00am PDT/12:00pm EST over Zoom and you can join us by whatever donation you feel to give. You can donate at soulfullheart.org/shop or by paypal.me/jelelleawenMore info at https://www.facebook.com/events/268214177559942 and at https://www.soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions

love from Avalon!

~

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For information about 1:1 sessions with her for women and with SoulFullHeart Facilitators Raphael Awen/Gabriel Heartman/Kasha Rokshana, virtual group call events, writings/books (including Jelelle’s latest Free To Be 5D), and videos, visit soulfullheart.org.

The Inner Sacred Union Dance That Draws The Outer

by Kasha Rokshana

Mate ache is real. The desire to be with someone romantically on the outside can’t really be subdued, especially when you have a strong sense that he or she is ‘out there’ – the Sacred Union mate you’ve longed for, worked for, and want so much to serve love alongside.

I have such an ache. I’ve been in a Sacred Union before, not all that long ago. I’ve tasted the sweet nectar of deepening soul and heart resonance. The ease and the sacred triggers too of being with a man who is doing his inner ‘work’ as you do yours. A man who is coming to love and treasure himself deeply, acknowledging and embracing every part of himself and every metasoul aspect too. A man who, because of his gentleness of heart, makes you cry out in tears of bliss and purging of emotional pain on a soul and this-life level too as you make love.

I ache because I’ve experienced what it can be and the healing that’s offered through the experience of it. I also have an ongoing template for what a long-lasting, consistently deepening Sacred Union looks and feels like from being in close community with Raphael and Jelelle Awen. It’s like exquisite torture in moments, witnessing their beautiful bond in all its ups and downs, ebbs and flows, processes inner and outer, and waiting for my own experience of this to come around again in a whole new way.

This depth of sacred romance isn’t an achievement. It’s not a mark of success or failure (as parts of me have felt before), or anything that can be accomplished with some kind of magic spell or silver bullet that suddenly brings in THE mate you’ve felt a longing for. It’s a crucible, actually. It’s something to bear while you bare all in the depths of this intimacy.

And this intimacy starts within.

Your inner masculine and feminine need to start relating with one another… they need to see each other. They need to find a way back into a union, a romance, between them. This inner Sacred Union is the seed for the flower of outer Sacred Union. It’s the honey that attracts the bee. And sometimes it takes a while for the bees buzzing in harmony with your growing frequency to tune into your fragrance.

Whenever I feel my longing for all of my inner work to bear this fruit, I’m reminded to look to my inner masculine and feminine. I’m reminded that any validation that’s wanted on the outside, needs to solidify inside. I’m reminded that my inner Sacred Union needs to ‘buzz’ and hum in its own frequency or romantic satisfaction. I’m reminded that this is what brings some soothing energies to the void of missing and wanting ‘him’ on the outside and keeps any parts of me from grabbing at a man and instead letting us come together and discover each other when it’s truly time for that to happen.

This is an ongoing process. There’s not really a final place of arrival where the Sacred Union inside is perfectly set up now. It’s got its own ebbs and flows, ups and downs, ins and outs. It has its own phases of tension and conflict. It’s just as sacred to behold as anything that manifests on the outside. And, it’s the love that you will always return to, even if romantic love on the outside collapses or completes.

~

Raphael and Jelelle are hosting a Zoom group transmission on Oct 10th for Sacred Union Within & With Other. Their transmission of Sacred Union inside and out is palpable and profound! They’ll teach and lead us all in a guided meditation as well. You can donate anything you like to be a part of this call live or receive the recording. More info here: soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions
and here: https://www.facebook.com/events/268214177559942

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about FREE consultation calls, space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.