SoulFullHeart Experience Q & A Livestream Recording: 3D, 4D, 5D selves, Metasoul, Sacred Union (video)

 

In this recording of a livestream offered on the SoulFullHeart facebook feed on September 3rd, Raphael and Jelelle Awen answer questions and respond to comments submitted by viewers during the broadcast. They talk about the SoulFullHeart perspective on the 3D, 4D, 5D self (and offer definitions of each), the seven areas of life, the Metasoul aspects and connecting with them, sacred union relationships, repeating number sequences and synchs, and much more.

Note: This is best listened to on headphones.

To read the 3D/4D/5D selves article mentioned in the recording: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/3d4d5dselvesquestions

Here is more about our free intro sessions with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

The next livestream will be broadcast on the SFH Experience You Tube Channel and you can submit your questions to be answered during it, as well as on the SoulFullHeart FB page on Sunday, September 17th at 11:11am CST: https://www.facebook.com/soulfullheartwayoflife/

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcalls for more information about group calls that you can join live, sessions with SoulFullHeart facilitators, writings, community, retreats, more videos, and more!

 

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Awaken To The Love And The Life You Didn’t Know You Were Missing

by Kalayna Colibri

dream landscape

How do you know how you want to feel if you haven’t felt it yet, and if all you’ve felt so far hasn’t quite touched something unnamed inside of you, and hasn’t ‘clicked’ in a way that is beyond the mind? How do you know the love frequency that is the most authentic, thorough, challenging, healing, and far-reaching into the depths of YOU, if you haven’t experienced it yet?

New experiences… this is why we seek them. Because we don’t know what we want until we experience it, until we notice it, get tastes of it, see it, hear it, smell it. We know, somehow, that what we have now, or have had so far, isn’t ‘it’, though most of the time, it’s so hard to know what ‘it’ even is…

How do you know how deep your healing can go, if part of you has already declared that you’re ‘done’ and there’s nowhere else to go? How do you know what it really feels like, to surrender to the burgeoning humility that burns you up like a sacred fire inside and wants nothing more than to inspire you like you’ve never been inspired before? A burning inferno of incredible self-love and care that sets boundaries with others when needed, makes bold choices, lights your life up, feels all incoming changes and invitations for change, and lets it ALL in to be felt, heard, held. An embracement of every single part of you and aspect of your soul, wounded or not, that absolutely grips you, makes you want to experience more of yourself, more of life, more of relationship, more of LOVE… this is what’s not only possible but so imminent, all you need ‘do’ is open up that heart of yours and let it in, which does take work, courage, and desire.

This is a call not ‘to arms’, but to heart. This is the call that brings you home, to that place inside that you didn’t realize WAS home, because ‘home’, you were taught, was something you made outside of you, something you settled for, sooner or later, because it’s what your parents and friends did and are doing. You burn with more than this inside you. You blaze with visions that seize your chakras and dance in your dreams. You wake up in the morning with divergent feelings, polarities, taking you in different directions, bringing you to different focuses that don’t always reflect what it is you actually want in life or feel in your soul that you are meant to be and have.

If you want to experience something new in your spirituality, in your emotionality, because spinning around in the same dance isn’t enough for you now and maybe it never really was… In SoulFullHeart, we have a heartfelt and deeply experienced answer for you that may actually be the one you’ve been looking for, that you didn’t realize you were missing… until you let yourself feel it for the first time.

http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

You can try a free 30min intro with Raphael Awen or Gabriel Heartman. Email soulfullhearts@gmail.com or contact one of these men directly through Facebook.

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

I Want To Shake Men

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By Raphael Awen

I want to shake men.

I want to yell in their face ‘Why are you here!?’ and ‘What in the hell is it that you want!?’… even if I piss a few men off in the process.

I want to yet again shake and awaken myself.

I don’t want your or my settled niceness. I don’t want your or my spiritual adeptness at the cost of our passion. I don’t want your adaptation. I want to see and feel your rawness….because I so want to see and feel more of my own.

As a man, there is a way that you represent all men, and even ARE all men. When you settle, we all settle. When you choose not to feel, you set a far reaching agenda for all men.

There is a also a way that you are surrounded with every ounce of love and resource that exists…. And to significant degree, you are immune to all of it, because you are afraid.

You are afraid of your own truth. You are afraid of what you really want. You are afraid of your own passion. You are afraid of none other than yourself and the journey called your life.

It’s not necessarily true for all of you, but it is true for a part of you. And until you get in touch with this afraid part of you, you have not even entered your own kingdom, let alone made any claim over it. Until you enter your own sovereign kingdom in this way, you are on the edge of amounting to little more than a bad example, which in the universe’s economy is still considered a lot, but is it enough for you?

Everything in your power, but yet nothing in your realization…that is, to write home about, the home that you came from.

I’m surprised a bit at the edge in my words today. They are directed at myself as much as they are shared with others. I want to advocate for my truth, in my own kingdom, the land of my own sovereignty, and be matched by other kings of heart. This is finding a new agenda for manhood. This is finding out why and what our gender polarity is all about and our relationship to the opposite gender.

It begins with owning all that’s going on inside for you, as best you can feel it and describe it, and then to find the boy inside and relieve this boy who yet only knows hiding all he feels. There is very serious work to do. There is getting real with why you are here and what you really want. To not see the cost side of this ledger only means you are not here yet. If life as you currently know it is structured around disconnect and hiding, then any forward movement inward will have a one to one correlation with a necessary deconstructive movement outward, that you are going to have to begin self-lovingly negotiating, as soon as you are ready.

This is the heart passion that lives in painted moving swirls on the walls inside of my truth, and the fire colours that colour the underside of the clouds that float through my skies. This is my own parallel dimension where I must be while we as men sort out our next going on place together. BUT, if you don’t want your shit, I don’t want you. I can’t really want you until you want you. Not anymore.

I used to need men to validate my own subconscious need to hide. Then I got really curious to the point of being possessed about my own need to hide. I entered the domain of my own hiding and to this day, I still am. I’m reporting from my own cave, now transmuting into an infinite portal to so much more than I can’t even describe. Truth be told, if I hadn’t felt into my own fears heretofore, I simply wouldn’t have the balls to go any further in what is on the docket now.

But I really don’t want to do this and be this alone, because I don’t have to. I am called to lead and I feel more and more resolved around leading. The payoff for me in serving other men to awaken to their own true power is getting to be around other infinitely powerful men. Truth is, as I said, I’m going to need it and I’m going to need them if what I’m seeing in front of me concerning my own yet still to be inhabited power is real.

So my love of you is unconditional, but my want of you is very conditional. I’m asking for more of you because I’m looking for more of me. I can love you from a distance, and even weep a broken heart for you from a distance, but to enter sacred domain together, I need you and I to come together on mutually awakening terms, awakening and attuning to what it is that you really want.

Now, if you are ready for it, there is a bus leaving for the destination of more of what you really want. You may not like this bus, but you need to find one you do like, or drive your own, because all men, and even all species are waiting for you to choose the destination of your more.

No pressure, and all that! 🙂

I love you and I need you and I want you!

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com

We are currently offering a free intro session (to men and women) for those considering entering regular session space with us. If you are interested, let us know and we’ll send you some things we’ll ask you to read and a few questions to respond to, to further help you see if this is or isn’t what is calling you. More details on that are here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

We also have another group call around Sacred Union that Jelelle Awen and I will be leading this coming Saturday and these always are amazing to be a part of. We ask for a minimum donation of 11 USD over paypal, and then we send you the link to join in over Zoom Web Meetings. The details are here:https://www.facebook.com/events/254241058395276/ and we would so love to have you join us.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Passion, Power and Purpose: Gifts From Pandora’s Box

by Raianna Shai

Pandora's Box.jpg

Passion.

Floods through me like a river rushing to feel the freedom of an ocean. Carries me through highs and lows, through desire and anger, through love and loss. Fills the untouched and dusty attics of my emotional ceiling. Transforms blank walls into colourful reflections of my soul. Holds my deepest wants and needs with intention and clarity. Gives me the fuel I need to fly.

Power.

Energizes a deluge of self love. Lays down the shield and raises the heart. Turns on the light to reveal the shadows. Lights up from the inside out. Radiates from body to heart to soul to others. Supports the lover to love, the teacher to teach and the leader to lead. Provides the strength to let go of that which no longer serves. Becomes the wind beneath my wings.

Purpose.

Wakes me up in the morning in realness and truth. Wraps up gifts until they’re ready to be opened. Spreads love like a wildfire sparked by truth. Waits to be noticed, watered, and cared for. Remains rooted in the ground, waiting to bloom anew. Supports the human experience. Gives reasons and answers to questions of doubt. Holds me up when I start to fall.   

~

These are the three “P’s” that I’ve been working to unlock. My darkest shadow aspect has been revealed to me as my soul guardian, Pandora. And with her box she keeps my deepest pain, my most intense desires, and my greatest gifts. Up until now, opening that box would mean chaos, horror, loss, and ultimately hell. But with love and growing trust, she’s gained faith in my ability to handle these soul pieces more and more. I’ve felt the fear of dying, the unpredictability of passion, the potential tumultuousness of truth, the strength of power and the nourishment of purpose. I have refused to transcend my fear, but instead to feel its depths and my need for it in the 3D world I chose to inhabit for so long.

I have felt these effects already transmuting into love in its place, giving way to passion, power and purpose. I lived so long in neutrality, acquiescence, and invisibility that was gifted to me by Pandora and my parts in order to avoid the pain that feeling my fear inevitably leads to. Feeling this as a gift has not only fast tracked this process, but it has also nourished the self love inside of me. Of course I want to love every aspect of myself, even those in shadow, because if I can’t do that, how can I truly love others?

My desire for purpose has never felt quite so strong. I feel how even before this process I had a huge desire to heal anyone I could. To give them whatever they needed to feel better or to hopefully feel their pain. After starting this process I tried to give “advice” as best I could but without their desire to go as deeply in as I knew it could go, I struggled to say what they wanted to hear. I took on these energies without feeling myself and had no more room for my own growth. So I stayed stuck in a cycle of needing to be needed. Working with Pandora renewed my sense of excitement in something that helps me grow in order to use my overflowing love to help others in an ever deepening way. I’m so grateful for all that she’s done for me these past 22 years, but we both feel fed up and ready to grow up. Ready to dive into the depths of my soul and catapult into an endless sky of that love that we are.

~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, retreats, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

You Are The Love Magma Of New Earth

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Shifts and rumbles.  All making way for what is wanting to move from a deeper layer of your being into the light of day.  Into a more outed, genuine, and expressed version of what you have come to “know” yourself as.  That “you” that you didn’t realize was a place holder for the more real you.  But how were you to know? Even the “me” that is typing this is not the most authentic version of me.  It is an ongoing process that takes desire, curiosity, and whole lot of courage, for there are things that are not what we may want to see or feel along the way.

That is the awakening. The remembering from the deep sleep of our journey into this dimension.  The feeling of the protection and falseness that we have been used to identifying as “the good guy”, “the one who has it all together”, “the healer”, or any other labels a part of us have been using to make our way through this life….until it just doesn’t hold water anymore.  The soul is aching to come out into the light and like magma from the depths of the earth, lots of stuff gets shaken up.  Sacred goo among the cracks.

It is only your desire for real love and the essence of your true creative power that keeps these heart and soul tectonics in continuous motion.  There is no guarantee that life will look and feel like it did a year, a month, or even a week ago.  If it does then you can be assured that there is a part of you that is resisting this awakening and maturation process, and that it has its damn good reasons! What feels the same to you inside yourself from a year ago? With sincere reflection you can feel what still lies at the core of what needs your love.

For me it has been the way a part of me relates to change, abundance, and love.  It comes out in physical manifestations that block fully letting in due to a focus on the issue itself. I find myself in the midst of major changes in my body, new timelines, and relationship. It is intensified by the new altitude of energies we find ourselves in.  To truly let go and let in I am feeling Metasoul lives and their relationship to it all.  The inner parts of me that can really no longer survive in this new environment.  I am heading into new waters of romance, soul expression, and service leadership. What a time to be alive! Healing what once was and moving into new territory of divine MEness.  This is hot stuff!  I have things to do, see, and be!

I feel this for you too. To keep feeling what lies underneath your tectonic plates and what wants to arise new and shower itself upon your world for all to experience and learn from. You are hot stuff waiting to be birthed into the New Earth atmosphere! The plates are the parts and aspects of us that have been formed to keep us safe in response to all that our souls have been through.  Love is what sets them into rumble and eventual collapse when held in the cauldron of your sacred heart.  They all become an integrated part of the new.  New abundance, new timelines, new community, new relationships.

It all starts inside with that fire of desire.  Ask it what it truly wants and the rumble begins…..

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

Activation of Lions Gate/Sirian Energies Teachings And Guided Meditation From A Group Call(Video)

When I first heard about ‘Lion’s Gate’ portal opening last year during this time, it took me awhile to really FEEL it and relate with it beyond the cosmic meanings and implications. This is important to me….to really FEEL something that it is happening in the cosmos within my heart, in my ‘bones’, in my emotional body, in my joy and in my tears (if needed.) During this recent Lion/Lioness alignment opening phase in which we get to receive an even more direct love path from the planet Sirius, I did personally discover and feel what these energies were offering me and potentially you too. I’ve written and shared many writings about that over the last week, as have Gabriel andKalayna which you can read at our blog, soulfullheartblog.com or here on my FB feed.

The main codes or information invitation at the DNA level connected to Lion’s Gate (and available for ongoing downloading) are about abundance unity….both the unity in abundance and the abundance in unity. Really feeling what abundance of LOVE means to us in our lives and where lack or scarcity still persists and exists. The unity invitation seems to be around moving out of a lone wolf phase in a ‘cozy cave’ and into soul tribe commUNITY, sacred union, etc. in order to experience the abundance that is available there.

I shared this week about a deep and profound connection with Sela, my Metasoul aspect from Sirius, and the wonderful Lioness Queen energies that she brought into my BEing. Before this connection, I felt purgings from my emotional body related to a core wound that I am definitely here this life and in this now to keep healing. I received more clarities and validation during this lion’s gate around what I am offering through SoulFullHeart, on the cutting edge leading, and especially related to the Metasoul perspective and healing process that we offer. You can read that writing here:http://tinyurl.com/yalyztrl

During our bi-monthly SoulFullHeart group call yesterday, we offer more about the Lion’s Gate energies and about the Metasoul perspective specifically. The recording below shares a video of Raphael Awen and I talking about this (our first time to film a video during our teaching portion of the group call) and then we turn the camera off to lead you into a journey within. We offer a guided meditation ( at about 31 minutes in) to connect with the Lion King and Lioness Queen energies (strong sacred masculine and feminine energies!) and meet your Sirian Metasoul aspect. The personal sharings that followed from those who joined the call have been edited out for privacy reasons.

Our next group call is about sacred union on Sunday, September 20 at 11:11am…..we’d love to have you join us as we feel into the abundance frequencies available within sacred union relationships with self and others:https://www.facebook.com/events/254241058395276

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Maturation Of Our Cosmic Innocence

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Painting by Dustin Myers (DustinMyersArt.com)

Many tears this morning as I went into meditation to feel what has been wanting to download into me the past few days.  It has been nights of what I call shallow sleep and even some insomnia.  In the past I have found myself in times of deep frustration and irritation over it, but this go around I chose to find a different ground with it.  Not that I didn’t have a round or two of it.  Allowing the ebbs and flows of energy be what they have been.  To my soldier, Alexander, it has been a struggle not to feel like life was just passing him by.  Not easy to surrender into SOULdier.

To surrender into trust feels to be a very difficult piece for parts of us to lean into.  It takes a growing sense of our arising sacred humanity to hold that.  To let in that what is happening, or may need to happen, is all part of our greater growth.  How we respond to it is the level of our maturation.  Even to be honest with my immaturity around it is a sign of maturation.  But when we think of maturing in the old 3D way, that has lead to a very rigid set of beliefs that has cut us off from the expansiveness and joys of our divine inheritance as cosmic children at play and wonder.

As I laid on my bed listening to some very angelic and galactic music, I felt the swell of tears begin to surface.  I felt something beyond and underneath Alexander that wanted to bubble up.  A star being energy that I could feel as very young but very ancient at the same time.  A consciousness that is feeling the cap of limitation that has surrounded me in my life and that feels to have been so instrumental to my pain this life. A deeper layer of the onion.  I felt not just an ache for “home” from him, as much as it was an ache for “more”. More of what reality “really” is.  As I felt this being, I could feel it as both me and not me.  He feels like an innocence that was buried under the gravity of this dimension. Of the amnesia. Inside of Alexander.

He says his name is Zetti and he so much wants to come out and help me remember what is so magical about the universe.  About what we are as human beings.  What our “role” is in the greater galactic context.  There is still so much war happening and the return to innocence is a salve to that energy. But this return is not easy.  It has choice points and feeling spaces that require us to be courageous and vulnerable.  To actually mature into our innocence.  The innocence that sees the world in its natural technicolored magic.  The innocence that never gave up on dreaming even if it didn’t go the way we wanted.  We just changed the rules of the game!

So did I come out seeing things I that were left unseen in the physical? No, not yet. I received a gift of feeling and awareness. Of realizing that there is so much more going on in our inner universe that is just seeking out its time to be felt. I felt the abundance of love and support that is IN here rooting me, and us, on.  I still feel tired but that is okay. I just keep letting that be and let in more of what wants to come through and in.  It is all setting the table for more love to enter my house.  New romance is in my energetic front yard knocking on my door. New community members coming to visit and engage deeper into this extraordinary way of life. New interest in what this healing path can offer for those that are feeling the reSOULnance of this offering.

The Lion/Lioness energies feel like both our leadership/maturation and our innocence in sychronistic dance together.  Both distinct and yet the same. It this holding and feeling of polarity and unity that we have come here to experience.  To feel all the fun and sorrow that life has to offer in our growth and experience.  As we heal, there is undoubtedly more fun on the flip side, and I feel myself landing heart UP toward MORE.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Sacred Human, Arising Wonder – New Book By Jelelle Awen Available Now!

You are a Sacred Human. You are an arising wonder. You are becoming a fifth dimensional (5D) Human through the process of awakening and ascension along with the planetary consciousness known as Gaia (Earth). This is a challenging time to be a Human here as so many people still live in conscious suffering even as their souls are awakening and they are having life altering spiritual experiences. The healing, awakening, and integration of our emotional bodies WITH our souls is the place we are being invited to go at the cutting edge of our consciousness evolution as Humans who chose as souls to come and BE here during this transformative time. The ultimate purpose and reason for the ascension process is remembered as the service of love WITH others as it overflows from self love and a healthy emotional body and freed up soul.
Emoto-Spiritual Teacher and Author Jelelle Awen offers the BIG picture of what is happening during this phase of ascension from a galactic, yet also personal perspective, which you can also apply to your daily life. Through her connection to her Higher Self, Ethereal Guides, and as a facilitator and teacher for others, she provides loving guidance to navigate as our hearts are invited to vibrate at higher Christ Consciousness frequencies of health from a mature emotional body; as our bodies transition from carbon-based to crystalline; as our souls bring awakening, illumination, meaning and purpose into our awareness; and as our minds let go of 3D conditioning/programming and expand into multidimensional thinking.

Sacred Human, Arising Wonder invites you into feeling how it is your emotional body and the congestions and wounding that remain there which can keep intact a third dimensional, conditioned, self-image based version of you who can block love and keep suffering patterns intact in your life. Undigested traumas from this life and from other lifetimes create fixed energies within your emotional body that form into distinct subpersonalities running on subconscious conditioning programs and fear-based defensiveness. Through connection and negotiation with these parts of you, these energies move, transform, and eventually integrate into your 5D self.

The nonlinear, explorational writings in Sacred Human are both practical and transcendent, offering you guidance as you journey through the often painful, yet ultimately magical process of ascension, awakening, and enlightenment. Each section offers Jelelle’s loving, catalytic energy to invite you into expanded consciousness around the seven main areas of life: Emotional, Spiritual, Mental, Social, Physical, Financial, and Environmental. This book also provides writings about love, sacred femininity, and sacred union with self and your sacred union mate, plus guided meditations to raise your vibrational frequency, clean your chakras, connect with your Inner Protector, and much more.

From the book:

You are invited to remember that you ARE Infinite Love and to go on a journey to remember this. It is an inner journey of awakening, feeling, healing, ascending, and loving. It is an inner journey of exploration and discovery. It is an inner journey to embody your Sacred Humanity.

It is a journey of reunion with aspects of yourself that you may have forgotten, buried, or suppressed in your psyche or emotional body. Aspects that live in the stars. Aspects that live in other dimensions and parallel universes. Aspects that live in the higher, Angelic realms.

It is a journey of remembering that which you ARE as a soul and letting go of that which you are not. It is remembering that you are Infinite Love and anything LESS in your expression is something else for which you are NOT.

This is a journey, yes, and, also, you already ARE all of this. There is nothing to be fixed or that is wrong with you as you ARE this already in your essence. This is the truth that your Higher Self knows as it remembers, as it already IS this. And so it IS.

 

Click here or above for the e-book….

Click here for the print edition….

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

A Daemon’s Plea

daemon 
By Leena Colibri

Could you love me…
if I showed you the scars,
the wings that aren’t pretty?

 

…maybe they never were…
but I can’t tell anymore.
I’ve forgotten what they look like.
I’ve forgotten how to see them.
I’ve forgotten that there is a mirror
and that that mirror can exist in an open human heart.

 

Can you see tears on my face?
I can’t feel them anymore.
My cheeks are numb.

 

Has life smacked me down or have I?
Has it all been as violent as it feels to me? Who is ultimately responsible? Am I? Are you? Is God?

 

Am I a product of my own faults? If I am, will I ever feel remorse? Could I ever feel remorse?

 

Did the war end or just ebb?
Why am I able to talk to you?
Why are you able to feel me?
Am I dying?

 

Did the soldier I was give way to an angel of peace?
Am I acting out of what was and is no longer?
Or is it all just beginning again and this is the calm before the storm?
I certainly don’t feel calm.
And I certainly do feel the storm…
In fact it is all I can think about.

 

Why can I suddenly see you?
Do you see me?
Are you pretending, as you have before?

 

Are you ready to believe that I am wounded?
Are you ready to believe that something beyond “me” is wounded?

 

All I am is questions,
a quester on an unending quest,
finding no answers, just more questions…
but for the first time,
I am asking them out loud and I am not afraid to let them fall from my lips and drift over to you, and into an unknown love that I no longer fully trust…
but want to…but want to again…as I did before.
As I did before the war. As I did before the battles I was partly responsible for starting.

 

Where am I?
How can you hear me?
Why do you even want to?

 

I could be your essence.
I could be that spark inside you.
I could be a part of all you are outside and inside your body.
I could be a part of everything in the world while also only a speck of dust on this great plane of existence.
I want to be with your essence…
I want to be with the you that could lead me Home.

 

Please…
take me Home.
 

*Find out more about connecting with your daemon/soul guardian here*
 
 
** Leena Colibri is an apprentice facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

30 Days With My Parts: Day 27 – Serving the Servant

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We co-create this reality together, my love.  I need you as much as you need me.  I cannot be felt unless one is able to feel.  I long and ache to be felt just as you do.  I have needs and desires, as well.  If I cannot be expressed and felt through a soul, then I will do what I can to make that so, as long as it is within the sovereign choice of the soul.

Day 27

Christopher:  Hello, Mother.  I feel to connect with you since I am not having any major pull to a specific part of me.

Mother:  I always enjoy being with you, Christopher.  How may I serve you?

C: Uh…wow.  To Nathaniel that sounds weird.  He is used to serving you.

M:  Ah, yes.  The Daemon Trap.

C:  The what?

M:  The Daemon Trap.  I feel that daemons have been so conditioned to being servants through the world’s religions that any thought of the opposite is blasphemy.  How can the Divine possibly serve the ones that are the servants?

C:  He says, that doesn’t make sense.

M:  My dear, Nathaniel.  We co-create this reality together, my love.  I need you as much as you need me.  I cannot be felt unless one is able to feel.  I long and ache to be felt just as you do.  I have needs and desires, as well.  If I cannot be expressed and felt through a soul, then I will do what I can to make that so, as long as it is within the sovereign choice of the soul.  I want to serve you and Christopher in any way I can to make that happen.

Nathaniel:  I can feel how over the lifetimes, I have been convinced and persecuted to believe that humans are below you.  That they are meant to carry out your Will in your name.

M:  What is my Will, Nathaniel?

N:  To Love and be loved.

M:  Was that the will of their god?

N:  No.  It was to judge and make sacrifices.  To follow the Word without question.  To be in subordination.

M:  So that is the trap, Nathaniel.  A false god trap.  I do not blame you for succumbing to it.  So much pain and fear in resisting.  In fact, it may all be a part of the process.

N:  And why is that?

M:  This Grand Experience is rooted in getting to feel itself completely, in all its glory and terror.  To separate in order to come back together with more love than before.  It doesn’t make sense to the Mind, Nathaniel, but when we get to feel each other in our pain, we can feel each other in our love.  It is an eternal paradox.  Just like the servant being served.

N:  I think I get it.  I still need time to feel you as serving me and Christopher rather than the other way around.

M:  We serve each other equally.  We are one and and the same, Nathaniel.  That will be felt as you experience me more.  For now, let me serve you and Christopher in any way I can.  It is the Will of My Heart.

N:  Yes, Mother.

M:  So?  How may I serve you?

N:  I am feeling a little lost in my purpose.  I want to feel a call, a passion pursuit.  I miss that.  I feel I used to have it then it got buried.

M:  I feel your desire for that, Nathaniel.  You have great passion for rising up against the false system.  However, I want you to remember you are a daemon sent to provide guidance.  You were meant to serve Christopher through my Love.  Not serve me through Christopher’s soul.

N:  Whoa.  You have me hanging upside down right now.

M:  Good.  How does it feel?

N:  Strange.  As soon as you said that I could feel how that was so true in the past.  I took over seeing the inequities and injustices throughout the world.  I wanted to do something about it.  I feel I hijacked this soul.

M:  I feel “hijacked” is a charged term.  You did what you felt was necessary to right what you felt were wrongs.  This was another part of the Daemon Trap.  Getting so involved that you forgot your place in the Grand Experience.  This too felt a necessary part of the separation and integration process I mentioned earlier.  This has been done by many daemons all over the planet.  Getting caught up in justice, power, glory, inequity, greed, so and so on.

N:  I feel relieved I am not the only one.

M:  Your fusion was for the compassion of those in need and suffering.  There are other daemons in need and suffering.  You can be a part of that healing, Nathaniel, but you need to heal yourself first.  I feel a responsibility in you to make it “right”.  You can’t do that on your own as we discussed before.

N:  Thank you, Mother.  I do feel a rumble and I want to use that to help Christopher with his purpose.  I feel how my healing helps with this.  Having you reframe my relationship to this soul was a big step for me.  Thank you.

M:  You are very welcome, my son.  I can’t feel you if you can’t feel you.  And my Will is to feel all my children with me in every moment.

N:  And my will is to feel you as much as possible, Mother.

M:  Then it shall be so.

N:  Amen.

My name is Christopher Tydeman and I’ve been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life since March, 2012. I am a SoulFullHeart facilitator-in-training, author on this blog, and I hosted the SoulFullHeart Experience Radio Show. I was invited by Jillian and Wayne Vriend, co-creators of SoulFullHeart, to begin my own 90 day outing. In the next 90 days, I will be vulnerably sharing my SoulFullHeart process publicly. It will include journaling from one or more of my parts, my daemon, the Divine Mother, or all of them in one big group love fest. You will meet Simon, who is my self-image part or prime monarch; Nathaniel, who is an aspect of my Daemon; Angela, who is my newly arising feminine part; and Peter, who is my magical child. I will not be sharing anything they do not want to share, or I may process with them until they feel comfortable. This is a healing crucible for me, but also a look into the inner world of this way of life called SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.