Healing The ‘Black Sheep’ Archetype

by Kalayna Solais

When you’re a child, you start to learn right away what is expected of you. You’re meeting expectations of when to start talking, walking, even behaving more maturely, whatever definition of ‘mature’ you’ve been taught. You learn, then, about what makes you feel like you’re on track with this and what doesn’t and you take in the impact of that.

As you get older and start to awaken more to your soul but also what your heart really feels and wants, the pain starts to set in… the pain of feeling like you don’t belong and maybe never have. A feeling like you simply cannot ‘win’ no matter what you do or don’t do. Parts of you form to deal with this and find a way to be in the world but you still can’t reconcile your differences; those aspects of who you are that seem to set you apart from everyone else.

In some cases, you may start becoming ‘therapized’ as the only way that your 3D-conditioned parents or authority figures feel they can ‘help’ you. You may be put on medication that numbs and dulls your natural ability to FEEL. Even the anxiety and depression you’ve experienced, which is held by parts of you that are hurting and also feeling on their radar a sense that they really aren’t safe in this conditioning and aren’t being loved the way they need and deserve to be.

You now see yourself as the ‘black sheep’ of the family but also of the culture you’ve been raised in. You may even feel this with your friends or co-workers. I know I have.

In my recent process, I was working with a part of me that always felt she was the ‘black sheep’. We had to go into a scene together where she could line-up her birth family members and feel the lingering judgements and criticisms, the messages of ‘you’ll never make it on your own’ which may not have been directly said but were energized.

Together, we could start to feel their Higher Selves in the room too, and their Higher Selves offered that this wasn’t actually about what it seemed to be about… it wasn’t about me or this part of me being a ‘failure’ (though in a 3D sense it’d be pretty easy to see it that way). It was actually about a wonder they have at the conditioning I’ve been able to say ‘no’ to, the risks I’ve said ‘yes’ to and the trust I now have more and more in my life, even the challenges that sometimes feel like mountains to climb.

In this, I found compassion for them even though I still hold a boundary.

In this, I found a way to truly see and honour myself and my own journey as well as seeing the sacredness of their own.

In this, I could feel how this theme of ‘not belonging’ and being looked down on somehow has played out in all of my relationships in one way or another, even with my soul family and my recent marriage too.

And, in this, I could feel how just about every single one of us who has been on an awakening and healing journey has felt like some form of the ‘black sheep’ and played out this theme countless times, often with angst and restlessness and even suicidal feelings.

On the other side of this process, I could bring this part of me into a new form other than the ‘black sheep’. She was able to shake off the black and the sheep suit came off too. She turned into a young lioness, full of power and presence, yet with heart and vulnerability. She is finding a new home inside of me where she can truly belong and be seen and loved for who she is, even in those times where she is being shown something not-so-easy to see or feel about herself.

You’ve been taught to look outside of you for validation and even for connection to Divine love.

You’ve been conditioned to believe that you’re always supposed to ‘achieve’ and ‘succeed’ even though the goalposts keep moving. This happens in 3D and also 4D in different spiritual groups too where your ‘black sheep’ feelings can become amplified instead of felt deeply, often in the form of ‘tough love’ which is really just outright abuse.

The feelings of not-belonging can be healed as the parts of you begin to unify, one by one, with each other and with you.

Love is the glue that brings your heart and soul back together again to wholeness within that can no longer be severed. Love is the juice that catalyzes the transformation from within. Yours is the love your lost and world-weary parts most need to feel, to remove their own sheep suits… for they were never meant to be ‘sheep’.

They were meant to be ‘lions’.

Much love! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

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Your Great Awakening And Disclosure Are At Hand

The recent suicide by Jeffery Epstein is rumbling throughout the collective and is casting a huge spotlight on nature of this case and the ‘powers that be’. For many, this is not a huge surprise considering the magnitude of what he represented. It is right there for all of us to see.

No, there is no particular evidence to suggest otherwise, though I am sure there are some making their way. As we learned from the JFK assassination, 9/11, and numerous other events, this will be muddied before it will be made clear. That can be guaranteed.

However, the collective can ‘feel’ it. They can sense it. It has ‘no duh’ written all over it. We are being messaged from the ruling class that they still have control, even as they are losing it. So now there will be a show. An extravaganza with all the makings of a daytime drama we will not be able to peel ourselves from. Huge stores of time, money, and energy will be expended from all sides. The crowd will gather at the coliseum with torches, pitchforks, and cellphones in hand.

While we are gathered, the game continues. The divide widens. Yet, it can be different. We can take this as a sign of the times. Something is rumbling. It is coming down. As the pieces fall there is going to be damage. There will be a chaotic feeling in the air as the shadow plays itself out in full form.

To move through it, we must move with it. It is through coming into our own shadow and feeling where the disclosure within still lies. What you can see, feel, and relate to within you with Love and Compassion will be the tools you apply in the Great Awakening. The time when what the collective has been asleep to and unconsciously complacent in comes to the forefront.

We all have a part to play in this. Some came to do the work of exposing the details. Others are here to be exposed, and many are here to be the balm after the bomb. If you are one of those, your mission, if you choose to take it, is to feel and know the real you. Not just the good, but the not-so-good. The wounded, the abuser, the controller, the ugly, the evil. They live in us as it lives ‘out there’.

Watch the events from a distance, but stay on course. Hold the Light into the Dark. As it shines brighter it causes the rumbles to happen faster but it is what you came here to do. To move out of the 4D paintrix and into the New 5D embodied God and Goddess you have always been. Let the reactions lead you within and then into this Divine frequency.

Your own Disclosure is at hand.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Message From Leo On The Lion’s Gate

On this day of August 8, I felt to tap into the message of the Lion. He is inviting us to lead ourselves into a new relationship with our experience of life and Gaia as we have known it. He is about finding our courage and strength and feeling all that we need to feel during this highly transformative time.

What wounds and pains, both this and other lives, are looking to be heard and felt at this time?

What resistance is showing up inside of us that keeps us from fully inhabiting the largess and love sponges we are?

This is not an easy choice to make going INto the pain, not to suffer, but to heal. To reveal. To discover. It leads us into our jungle and arises as the king and queen of our truest dreams and inner knowing.

You may be invited to make some difficult choices along the way. We can not have things stay the same and expect them to be different. Leading your way into your next emotional and spiritual growth terrain is what Leo is offering and guiding us toward. Healing your way to passion, purpose, and the remembrance of magic.

From denser energy to a higher vibration.

From care-taking to self-actualization.

From being alone to being in community and sacred passionate romance!

At some point today, take some time to tap into your wildest dreams, the savannah of your imagination. Drink the water of your open and plentiful heart and let it fill you with the ‘roar for more’ even as they show up in tears. This is your time to have it All when you are ready to feel it All.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. 

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

 

 

Increasing Light Exposing The Dark Knight: Response To Mass Shootings

Somehow this is becoming a tragic reality of the unfolding drama within a country. Within humanity. After two back-to-back shootings on the heals of another just days earlier, it becomes clearer that a country is on a verge. I say a country because the US leads the world in these types of events. The mass shooting. The most numbers in one incident happened in Norway, but the volume of incidents and deaths happen in the US. 

It is also by the hands of men. Young men who all had deep emotional issues prior to the event. They have been described as outside the bounds of intimate community with a deep feeling of rejection and disenfranchisement. Yes, they are mostly white, and many have used their own hate as the fuel for their actions. The hate has been both indiscriminate and specific. We are all affected. 

I get that there is a war going on. It is undeniable to me. It is going on in the heart and soul of a populace of men. This saddens me deeply. It has edges of despair and hopelessness at times. These men have faced their own experience with violence and feeling unloved. When a part of them feels rejected, either by an individual or a group, this part needs to find a way to get its power back. It is a dark knight that seeks the throne of attention in any way it can, and being steeped in violence it has the means already at hand. 

This is a Violence Matrix. One that permeates the heart and soul of the wounded masculine. This aspect of men is permeable to influence in order to feel power. They can become pawns in a much larger game going on. They can create useful distractions and reactions that lead toward a specific goal. It is a soul history of being a soldier for The Cause. A 4D matrix that has deep roots. This is where the healing is if we can get there. The one great effect we have as men is to go into this and find out where that wound lives. That disempowerment, that rage, that violence. 

We all have our reactions to this from despair to indignation. When this happens the Rage of Change comes out loud and clear, but until we learn to love our own Dark Knight the cycle seems to keep recurring. As Gaia continues to enter more and more of the photonic light belt, we are going to see increased exposure of what lies deep within our collective shadow. These men are us. If we disconnect from them, we disconnect from a deeply wounded part of us seeking Love. We disconnect from a soul brother that is still in war and in battle. Fighting for his continued right to hate himself above all else. This brings me to tears. This brings me to wanting to love him and give him a home. No gun control legislation can heal this, even if it can stem it. 

We are being given the opportunity to feel something deeper. This is what Disclosure is offering us. It is not pretty. It is not overly welcome. But it is real and we need to face it. Otherwise, the wheel goes around one more time.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

 

Lion’s Gate Energy To Activate And Empower The Inner Masculine

This upcoming Lion’s Gate feels like a very activating and empowering portal. We are being offered the support to go in and access where we are still recapitulating dynamics and patterns in our emotional body and Metasoul. These cycles are looking to complete with love and compassion and reemerge into new cycles of higher manifestations and empowered, self-loving choices.

The inner masculine provides the ‘juice’ for this transition transmission. It creates the container by which the healing and emerging can deepen. If you feel like there a block to manifesting or moving into your next phase of growth, there is a part of you that has a resistance to that.

It can be a Protector/Gatekeeper that knows what is possible if that container is created. It means you have the ways and means to get even more intimate with yourself and your shadow. It also means that you have more to ‘lose’ if you are successful at the manifestation of what it is you truly want.

With each portal we are being shown what it is we need to go into to further this ascension process. Subconsciously we have some clue and THAT is what scares us. Going in it is what brings us to the other side, but do we have just enough worth to bring the unworth with us and see what happens?

This is a great time to feel what it is you really want out of life. Put in your Christmas list now as the Universe, and our Sirian aspects, want to give it to us! It is all right here for each of us to grab. Santa’s bag is an Infinite well of goodies! This is where it can feel too good to be true for many parts and aspects of you anchored in the unworth and scarcity.

Tapping into your Sirian guides, your inner masculine/feminine, inner child/teenager, and Protector/Gatekeeper can help bring clarity to what has kept you from fully inhabiting and claiming what it is you really want and believe you can be.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Energy Update: Support To Breathe & Digest Through Lion’s Gate Momentum

By Kalayna Solais

It’s good to sleep/rest as much as you can right now to help ease the activations in… taking space for yourself feels so necessary and IS so necessary to give you space to feel and BE even if your life is typically ‘busy’. This breathing and feeling space is meant to give you the opportunity to heal AS the activations continue, because what they are activating is not meant to make you or parts of you suffer, though the ‘pressure cooker’ feeling of these activations that can spark some sense of urgency about your next steps is very real too.

This urgency though, is not about something outside of you giving you an ultimatum (though that may manifest if necessary to help you move into something new). Rather, this urgency is coming up from inside of your heart and soul. It’s showing you that what you’re living right now is not enough in many ways. Parts of you may feel guilty that their loyalty to different things, jobs, people is being challenged by new desires arising and being REALized too.

The arising of the truth of what you’ve come here to do and become is not something easily ignored, especially during such activating portal phases as Lion’s Gate. What feelings about your life have parts of you been working so hard to bury or put aside? Reactions of anxiety and depression, if they’re coming up rather strongly right now, are also pointing you in a direction of feeling the GOODNESS of feeling these emotions! They are such spectacular markers of what’s not going the way your soul needs and wants it to go in your life. These feelings are from the rumble within and the fears of parts of you that either things are always just going to be the same, or change will come too quickly. The best thing you can offer them is space to feel with you, to be loved by you, in all they’re feeling… every ounce of fear and disdain, resentment and hope.

There’s always deeper to dig and more layers to feel.

A lion’s ROAR cuts through the din and exposes the truth. And the roar of our Sirian beloveds is here to encourage us to keep going inward to find the truthiest truth within.

Your truth of heart and soul longing and needs is being brought forward, supported, amplified in ways unexpected. There’s so much support available to bridge you to your new timeline. All of the grieving and potential loss is worth the discovery of your vulnerable strength and resilience that comes from deep within… places that have often not yet been explored or felt.

MUCH love to you on your journey… my beloveds and I are here should you desire support for the continued illumination and living out of all of these pieces (and parts): soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Getting Sirius About Unworthiness With Love & Compassion

It is genuinely feeling our worth that leads us beyond what we have currently set up for ourselves in our experience, both externally and internally.

It is easy for our unworth to accept the environment that we have settled for, as attempting to go beyond that means we would have to feel like we deserved it to harness the power to change it. So many excuses to living a truly magical life are ways in which our unworth is telling us that it is afraid to feel the depth of this wound.

The power to manifest lies in our worth. It is the what opens the door to turning our dreams into reality. Mundane into the Sacred. It what pulls us out of the dark and into the light. But the act of letting in our worth is found in feeling the part of us that holds our unworth.

To be able to just separate that out means you have enough worth to take another step. To feel another possibility. Making the next choice while your worth holds your unworth through the doorway and into the next layer of your power and self-love. Each time you hold this unworthiness through its cycles, it surrenders more and more and you get bigger and bigger.

The experiences can be very difficult. The unworthiness, expressed in so many different ways, can win out at times. It does have an immense power, but since it was ultimately created by us in the first place means we must have the power to be hold it and love it.

This core wound will arise in times when you find yourself on your way to accessing your greatest gifts and your deepest love. It is ironically a sacred road sign that was planted by you before you even realized it. So antithetical to a rational mind bent on avoiding pain. It is easy to find ourselves being in stasis in order to not go into it. But when you are ready, when your soul and guides and soul family are there to back you up when needed, it will come to you.

It says, “I trust you and I need you.” Your unworth is your sacred treasure to the magic you have always been.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Lion’s Gate Portal Gathering Momentum For NEW Timeline Activations

By Kalayna Solais

Here I am, at the beginning of one of my busiest weeks in a long, long time.

Yesterday was a digestion of that and anticipation of it too… mingled with more layers of grief and letting go as Gabriel moved on to his new place yesterday after two months of processing through our separation. There is definitely a bittersweetness in the air and in my heart and soul and parts too as I continue to move on from what was to embrace what’s here and what’s emerging this week especially as it’s all NEW timeline and a lot to let in.

This busyness I’m speaking of seems to be not just a busyness on the outside but I feel it too in my soul and heart.

I feel parts of me moving and shaking, quaking a bit at all that there is to show up for in service this week while my soul is SO excited by the evidence of everything I’ve been moving through that is bringing in the opportunities to serve.

There’s a feeling too that my Metasoul Aspects who I call my “sisters” (haven’t met any “brothers” yet, but I’m open to that!) are readying themselves to help out too. Together we are working to get the inner spaces spruced up for the arrival of the new… new souls to serve and hold, new hearts to connect with, even an additional 3D job experience to dive into and see even WHY I’m drawn to it and it has drawn me.

There’s SO much to trust in this ongoing momentum. I feel that not only for me but for the collective too. I feel it for every one of you reading this as you’re likely experiencing something of this in your own way… some momentum brought in by this Lion’s Gate Portal that is shaking things up inside, which can be uncomfortable at times yet it’s all good and there are ways to be with your parts as they feel their reactions to letting in the NEW and letting go of what once was.

You are a beacon lighting UP. You will be finding it more and more difficult to ‘hide’ who you are. Parts of you that are afraid of that, especially your Inner Protector who has worked so diligently to keep your soul purpose and/or parts of you hidden, could be especially up and activated right now. The world needs you even as you continue your healing inside, for it’s your vulnerability and realness that sometimes serves more powerfully than any attainment.

Here is a guided meditation to help you connect with your Inner Protector:

Much love! ❤

~

The photo is of my new altar I’ve just set up! Bringing in and honouring this new wave of service and the support I feel from the Divine as I continue to step into it.

If you’re feeling the desire for a session, my beloveds and I would love to serve you in your explorations of your own NEW timeline possibilities and the continual letting go of the old… soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Giving Your Inner Teenager What You Needed As A Teenager

By Kalayna Solais

Holding the Inner Teenager inside of you means having an experience of holding yourself during a time in your life when all you wanted and didn’t want, sometimes at the same time, WAS to be held. To be understood. To be felt and empathized with. Not fixed or caretaken, but to be seen in your bigness and challenged in it healthfully and heart-fully, without pushing or poking or prodding but with an arena of safety constructed for the necessary explorations and explosions.

You needed and wanted space, room to grow and feel and explore…. permission to BE in and with the angst, the sadness, the longing for something you could not even name at times, and even the joy and celebrations that wanted to come up too that almost equally could not be felt with you by those around you that you looked up to.

All of this still lives inside of you in a part of you that asks for attention and love in different ways… a part of you that still may be the dominant energy in you at work, in relationships, even in your role as ‘mom’ or ‘dad’.

Often times this part is so repressed that they become deeply depressed and anxious too. Their transition from child to adult was never honoured for the wrestling match it actually IS. This ‘wrestling’ experience is a struggle and rebellion against while also capitulating to 3D conditioning and energies. It’s also an experience sometimes of being stuck in a 4D limbo and ‘void’ space while looking for something or someone to show up enough to help you move into the higher frequency that you somehow remember yet maybe at a distance.

Your arms and heart are the bridge to this part of you that the adult you can show up to construct and hold, piece by piece, with permission granted by this part of you to begin that process. Every effort made to go IN and BE with them is one that imprints them with love. Every time you reach out your hand to hold theirs with understanding and care is an opportunity for them to lean in and be felt in the gift they are, even in their pain.

Here’s a video and meditation from Jelelle that offers some more framing around this process and the opportunity to meet this part of you: https://youtu.be/sLDoA7UXVFk

There’s also this video from Gabriel and I about connecting with this part of you: https://youtu.be/ZIG-zgEb4Mg

And this guided meditation that I created and Gabriel narrates: https://youtu.be/Vu7nRmyzu0E

Much love to you and this part of you as you deepen or even begin this process of seeing each other and experiencing profound healing together. ❤

I offer much space to feel this part of you with guidance and love through 1:1 sessions for women… soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more info ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

July’s Abundant Growth Edges Offer Alchemy And Next Life Steps

By Kalayna Solais

What is the next ‘edge’ of your growth that you’re standing on, looking at, feeling into, right now?

Now that July is more than halfway over, looking back on it I can feel how not just for me, but for those I’ve been serving or interacting with, there have been many new growth edge invitations presented to each of us. Some of these invitations have come in the form of wakeup calls and other times they’ve been much softer. In either case, ongoing invitations into change and deeper healing abound.

The opportunity is always there to just keep feeling what those next steps are. As the fears come up you have the power to empower yourself by feeling the parts of you that are afraid. You also have the power to feel your courage rise even WITH the fear, as your desires continue to awaken and move you into the new.

For me… I’ve had some new life steps to take and it’s been very emotional for parts of me that have been ‘quite fine’ with the comfortable and in some ways have even avoided or tried to bury their own desires for the new and unknown. Just yesterday I managed to manifest (very quickly) another job that, while 3D in nature and focus in many ways, also is lighting parts of me up with possibilities and a new focus for service other than directly holding space for others.

I feel some fears arising in parts of me yet I also feel how being out in the world more in this way will help me be a beacon to those I come across in a way that isn’t solely virtual. I get to meet people during every shift… and while I’m no stranger to the challenges of anything to do with customer service in any form, I also feel how each person I interact with becomes another opportunity to feel who I am now and my own next growth and healing steps.

The alchemy and creativity that life wants to offer you can only truly be let in it seems, through being willing to take chances and feel into opportunities as they present themselves. This doesn’t mean you don’t get to also say ‘no’ to what’s offered, yet it does mean that each choice you are willing to make even to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ does truly fuel your currently unfolding life phase.

Much love to you as you feel your own precipices of change in this catalytic month! ❤️

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.