Gratitude As A Doorway To Reverence And Abundance

Today is Thanksgiving in Canada. It feels different than in the States. MUCH less collective energy to wade through. It has given me the chance this morning to really tap into Gratitude, Reverence, and Abundance. There are so many things that I felt I could right about this morning but this one felt timely. The full moon energy is wanting to open up something for all of us around these tones. 

Gratitude can be a hard one for us to fully embrace. Parts of us can feel how much there isn’t to be grateful for. To give thanks to the universe might be akin to thanking one’s abuser. Without feeling this very real part of us, the authentic gratitude we do have may be a bit shallow in its depths, if that makes any sense. 

When we can tap into that part, the tender reasons can come to the surface even after all the thrashing. It may appear to be an entitled teenage energy or a despairing Gatekeeper tired of holding all they do across dimensions. What is there to be thankful in that?! Being seen and felt in their pain is what opens the heart to that genuine gratefulness. 

It is feeling all these edges where we get to see how authentic our gratitude is. It is not about gauging the level of our appreciation, but just feeling what is real inside of us. When that has space, Gratitude becomes like a clear, gorgeous sunrise after a very long and stormy night. You see the trees, hear birds, and see the light in a much different way. 

This is what then becomes the benchmark for our authentic gratitude. After my last deep process about a month ago, I see the world through these heart eyes. I feel what I wasn’t truly grateful for. What I had taken for granted inside of me. But now the sun is shining again and I see more than I have in any time before. But I needed to go to this place first.  

I am grateful for the Love I am surrounded by, the soul family I am apart of, and the inner world inside of me that continues to grow and be cultivated. I am grateful to be a healer, a way-shower,  a light/shadow worker, a teacher, an ambassador, and a human being. From this place I am lead to Reverence and ultimately to Abundance (more on those in next posts).  

Thank you to all that have followed my heart and words these past 3 years. Many blessings and real love to each of you. 

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

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Introducing Free Intro Calls!

In this video, I talk about our new 30-45 minute Intro to SoulFullHeart call via Zoom. During the call, we would feel together the most presenting issue that you consider most affecting your current timeline.

As I state in the video these are varied and numerous for each of us. Either myself, Raphael, or Kalayna would clarify how the SoulFullHeart process can support you through the feeling, healing, and transformation of where you feel you need the most help.

Prior to the call you would access your Inner Protector via one of our meditations and answer a few short questions, though they may not have short answers. This helps us orient to you and your emotional and energetic bodies as well as gives us a place to go focus when on the call.

You can go to our website for more info at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions or email us at soulfullhearts@gmail.com to set up a day and time.

Looking forward to meeting any of you who are seeking a different path to healing and seeing the world.

Love,

Gabriel Heartman

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Dear Love,

Dear Love, 

 

Who and what are you really to me?

How to I authentically and honestly relate to you?

What lures me and repels me so? 

So many questions that can only lead me on a quest. 

A quest to open the doors that remain closed to you. 

 

I have experience you flood my house

Set my world on fire

And send me to the moon.

I remember how you have broken me open

And invited me to see what I really didn’t really want to see

 

You have felt like a bully, a beacon, an enemy, and a teacher 

To the varied parts of me that have their own relationship to you

But how do I Gabriel see you? 

What does this man’s heart want and need from you? 

 

I want to see you how you see me

I want to feel the breath of your wildness down my spine

I want to hear the whispers and the shouts 

That guide me to places previously feared

I want to touch your sesuality and ecstasy

And taste the sweetness and realness 

Of that which that courses through you

 

I need to stop playing games of hide and seek 

And walk upon your secret garden 

And sow my seed upon your fertile ground

The seeds of my desire, my purpose, my joy

 

I need your help to shine the light upon the places

You have not been permitted to enter

To open up those up so I can let in the love that is meant to find me

To see the world and myself through those very eyes

 

I feel ready to be consumed by you

Ready to be seen by you

To be transformed and moved by you

Even as I feel a quake when I say that

 

This is my meditation

My daily prayer

My devotion to your embodied promotion

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Vulnerable Sharing From A Moment Of Deep Tears

by Kalayna Solais

Crying in the moment and I can’t 100% track it, what’s going on behind the tears… but, I thought I’d share and see what is coming through my heart in this moment. Take you along with me. 

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Sometimes there is just so much sadness that comes up in me. It’s not always linked to what I’ve gone through or am going through now. It’s not always connected to an inner process.

Sometimes it just IS. And there are so many layers to it… some of them mine, some of them not so much.

The deeper I feel it… the more I feel the sadness of a part of me coming up, but a sadness in my soul in a ‘Cries of the World’ kind of way, too.

My empath has been becoming even more sensitive than ever lately. The sense of needing the same masculinized protection inside has been healing for years. It’s time to have a more exposed, feeling, feminine heart that doesn’t need protection but needs to vulnerably share and deeply feel.

Beginning new things is always something sensitive for the younger, very feminine parts of me that care so much about being liked, being accepted, doing well… and also care SO much about others, about helping others heal, about having resonant relationships where there is genuine care, and about seeing this world we live in becoming more gentle, more open-hearted and caring, more compassionate, and ultimately much, much safer to live and breathe and emote and LOVE in.

There’s still a lingering sadness in my feminine that my last relationship is over. There’s still a way that it’s just HARD to see the growth that couldn’t happen while we were together. And there’s still so much confusion as to why this has been true. I can feel this aspect’s confusion though… her pain around relating to men in general that some of it stems from and how this relates to her relationship to my masculine inside.

When it comes to men, it’s just been SO hard to try and become what she isn’t in order to get loved, feel wanted, and belong to the man’s world. Often this has meant sacrificing something of herself for the sake of the relationship and keeping it kosher. And over the last couple of months of inner process between her and my masculine aspect(s) I’ve become more awakened to how this dynamic has lived inside of me. How he has caretaken something in her which has kept her small and how she has not been able to vulnerably invite him to actually feel her and meet her halfway in any area so that they can feel each other and really, genuinely BE together in collaboration, mutual respect for each other’s bigness, and LOVE.

So there’s that going on in this ‘now’ moment. And it doesn’t need solving or resolving… just more feeling. There’s definitely some other layer of this inner relationship coming up for me to tenderly feel with these aspects, more push-pull towards each other.

Some of the tears aren’t mine, so there’s that layer too. I don’t mind moving the ‘Cries of The World’ through my heart though. I actually feel honoured when I feel them and when I feel others and their genuine pain. This doesn’t plague me or bother me. The ‘Death Doula’ inside of me can be with the mourning and the sadness and even the frustrations. The frustrations through, because I don’t have many of my own anymore, especially in my masculine aspect, quickly move into the more vulnerable feelings of sadness that are beneath them.

Questions of “Why isn’t there more love flow in this world yet and heart warmth too?”; “Why are Disclosure people so intense still and not seeing how any focus on warfare exacerbates the problems instead of moves it all into new territory?”; “Why aren’t more souls choosing to REALLY go inward yet?”

As I feel my heart ask these questions, I know the answer already… “It’s not yet time… but it will be eventually. And the only thing YOU can do is keep going inward, keep feeling, keep sharing, and keep growing and healing, as you also respond to those who ARE ready”.

So, there it all is… different raw layers coming up on this early, EARLY Friday morning. 

I don’t often share this way because it seems to draw caretaking from others sometimes. I’m sharing this today to show how I process, the different layers I feel going on in so many moments of deep feeling, and I trust that what is meant to resonate and support your own process, will. 

Thank you so much for taking this in as you feel to for yourself. 

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

The Sacred, Healthy FU

Sometimes we just need a healthy dose of ‘F You’. I feel it coursing through my body this morning not sure of its origination. Maybe all this feminine work is gurgling up my repressed masculine. An aspect of my masculine that is fu**king tired of being good, nice, and higher frequency. I have done much better since my earlier days when I would be less than transparent about what I was truly feeling. Mostly the ire would be inward directed toward myself. It still does to some degree but not as much as before.

I got this way from what I feel I came into this world with. A soul history of guilt, shame, and despair. Well, the clouds of those energies are starting to finally lift and leave my field and what is coming up is the energy that it had always suppressed. The anger, the ugly, the raw.

So I avoided it my whole life in order to f**king care-take my mother who instilled me with fear and anxiety about life and other people. A fear that if I got too real that she would drink herself into oblivion. F You!

I avoided it with my father out of an existential fear as a boy that I would not survive the following five minutes afterward. F You!

I avoided it with my sister out of protection of her own rage toward life and a scalding criticism of my masculinity. F You too!

I avoided it with my step-father lest I got the stoic shut-down or a call to the mental hospital. And my step-mother for her rage against anything that came out of a man’s mouth that might be construed as anti-woman. F You both!

So from there the relationship to any man or woman was a combination of all these things. I was drawn by women who wanted the nice guy in their life for once, but then would lose interest when that very thing became not enough to sustain or interest. I need to say ‘F You’ to that too! I have my own ‘F Me’ in that to own too. I was a coward and couldn’t get to my f**king truth to either complete or move the relationship deeper. So in purgatory I sat.

With men, I feared getting into an altercation and being called out as a list of unmentionable words that cut to the core of my unworth. I was only in a fight once and it just took one punch and that was it. I projected my father onto many, if not all of them.

Well, f**king no more. I feel this part of me tired of that shit. It may get a little ugly at times but I guess it is better than managed. I am over-experienced in apology so that won’t be an issue. I need to work on being less apologetic even if I am in the ‘wrong’ for a period of time. THAT, to a part of me, would be progress, believe it or not.

Thank you for taking this in if you did. I feel changed already inside of me. I feel many of us could use a healthy ‘F you’ to help clean out the masculine pipes so feel free down below. I feel it is the most spiritual thing we can do if it authentic and real.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Saying Hello To The Feminine Within

The one thing that feels universal about our humanity is our relationship to our masculinity and femininity. In my past and current processes I have been in an exploration of this very thing within myself. It has been one of the most illuminating parts of my journey. It has not been all of it, but has been a good portion of it. 

When I am out in the world I feel the ebbs and flows of these energies moving within and outside of me. Merging, conflicting, dancing, resisting, and hiding. Really fascinating! As humans I don’t think we can ignore this polarity that is staring at us right in the face. It has so much influence on how we relate, create, love, and hate. 

I have come in closer intimacy with the complexity and simplicity of this dynamic within me. As a man that was always in some confusion about my own masculinity I am coming to terms with what that means for me personally as I become more familiar with my feminines. Yes, plural. 

We so easily just want to make it one thing, like ‘my feminine side’. Very general and obtuse. But what if was more specific and acute. What then? What comes up to feel something inside that has its own perspective and needs? Its own voice and passion? 

The same could be said about our own Inner Child. Tapping into their voice, their needs, their passion. Now a step further. What about an Inner Feminine Child? This just goes on and on! My point is that we are much more than ‘this’ and ‘that’. We are composition of so much more than we have allowed ourselves to be open to. Of course this goes into our celestial beings as well! 

As a man, this journey is one that feels pretty important and alive. It is a journey that can help to rumble the foundations of the patriarchy by our own willingness to face what we have kept in our shadow. Our relationship to the feminine parts and aspects of us that have been sequestered for a very long time. 

Let us be like the prince that woke up Snow White and see what she has to offer us in our heart, our intuition, our sexuality, and our masculinity. She is ready to be connected to and yet fears being rejected once again. Let us feel what we fear the most about her so we can begin to heal this global dynamic once and for all.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Journey To Feeling Genuinely Blessed

By Kalayna Solais

Feeling quite blessed and surrendered this morning…

If you’d known me personally even just a year ago, you’d probably be amazed that I can get to a place of really feeling this deeply… so much restlessness, so much pushing and pressing, and I’ve had to love it all from roots to wings.

The process of learning to land more and more in love, especially within, is no joke at all. It’s nothing that can really be expedited. This over-arching process of Ascension certainly takes the time it takes, doesn’t it? It reminds me yet again that the destination isn’t the goal, it’s the journey itself. And the journey, for me, as been continually dropping into feeling, to get to know my parts and my Metasoul deeper, to have a more fulfilling and enriching relationship with the Divine that can only come from taking conscious steps and making choices that do actually serve your budding self-love and desire to love others more and with more compassion. For that is where the Divine can be the most deeply felt and experienced, as well as invited IN.

So why in this particular moment do I feel blessed and surrendered?

It’s not like I have “all my ducks in a row” right now. It’s not like, in the most typical 3D terms, I have the “perfect life”. It’s not like I don’t also have some rounds of sadness move in and out of my field as my ache to share my space and my heart with others and eventually a mate continues to live inside of me.

But… what I do have, I have in spades. I have growing self-love. I have a community I’ve earned my way to drawing and being a part of. I have more resonance around me than ever before, geographically, in my ‘jobs’, in all of my relationships that I choose to keep close to me. I get to live with so much resonance that parts of me sometimes resist or create problems because they are so used to living with a baseline of “something is always wrong or about to go wrong”. This was a survival instinct, actually, that I don’t need anymore. And that is still very much landing in my heart AND soul!

I’m sharing all of this because it’s a message of what’s possible for you, too. For you and those parts of you who ache and long and sometimes fight to stay afloat in the world you’re living in. For those unbelievably courageous, beautiful parts of you that sometimes feel the opposite because that’s how much they have to shrink in order to fit into a life, a job, a relationship, that doesn’t support their bigness and especially YOUR bigness.

I’m also sharing this because it helps me really land in what I’ve earned, what I’ve done all of this inner work for, and to embrace the overflow of it all that wants so much to share this inner abundance with others. I can’t hoard it away, nor am I meant to. Nor are you meant to, when you feel blessed too… 🙂 So much pain and fear and angst sometimes is the default of what you share, perhaps. And to be in a place in your life but more importantly in your very BEing where this isn’t what is overflowing from you anymore is the invitation, always. No matter how many tough choices you may have to make along the way. The support and validation are waiting in the wings for you to go there and the healing is too.

I’m available for 1:1, 90min sessions for women of all ages if you feel the need for more support for your own next choice points and to start feeling your own parts/Metasoul aspects and their hard work, their pain, their desires too: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

~

Photo taken on beautiful Salt Spring Island… another geography I feel incredibly blessed to have access to! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

From Nine to Ten: Completing The Cycle Of Suffering And Moving Into Trust

Moving from 9 to 10. The end of September. The beginning of October. I felt something significant move into my body yesterday. After my past 9 year, 9 month, 9 day cycle had completed with quite a bang through the body illness, it filled with a renewed sense of being. Of purpose. Of clarity and above all…Trust. I was filled with 10. It is like I have been a 9 for so long that I can’t even remember anything else. Always on the edge of completion but never completing. Suffering over the suffering of feeling out of reach of this new world of 10. 

When I look it up, I read the characteristics as 

*Independence

*Infinite potential

*Wholeness

*Self-determination

*Exploration

That all seems to align perfectly with what is moving through me. Now these are not absolute. I still feel parts of me that have doubt, anxiety, and fear but they feel less ‘up front’ then they used to be. My Service to Other has grown over my Service to Self. A tipping point has occurred and I feel the Divine gracefully guiding me and supporting me in my next steps as a healer and a leader. 

I needed this last round of Dark Night to get me here. It may not be my last but it is getting awfully damn close. The Dark Mother has always been a gift to me, even though parts of me just couldn’t see it that way until they could. 

I feel many of us are in this phase of moving from 9 to 10. Getting swept up in the brevity of its chaos and intensity. I have traversed these waters for a reason. Not to just move on but to assist others as well to the other side that want the support and guidance. I feel clear about that as the Sun shines behind me. 

How that service and support manifests is up to the Divine but I am Here. I am continuing to love myself and to offer Love to others in any way that it is meant to land, whether by my word or through space-holding. I am excited to see what unfolds for myself, you, and the world at large as we move into this new phase of our INvolution. 

Love to you all that have been with me on this journey. Thank you for your witness and love. I offer it back to you in spades.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Navigating The Confluence Of Change

Just now recovering from one of the worst ‘flus’ in a long time. This tends to occur for me when going through lots of life changes at once. I have also recognized that it was at the confluence of the last 9 days, 9 months, and 9 years. Very catalytic and life-changing cycles all ending at one point. BOOOSH!!
 
It felt like I got hit by a Mack truck with symptoms all over the map, head to toe (including the teeth…a part of me needs to say.) I could feel how much my poor body has held this life and clearly in other lives. I have become more aware of it but this particular convergence really highlighted it.
 
I have come across so much darkness and suffering in myself and my soul over these cycles. I have also found more light & love than I ever expected to be privy to in one lifetime. This can be a challenge for the body to integrate in such a short period of time. I experienced myself differently during the past SFH Equinox gathering in a way that I haven’t fully assimilated yet. This brings up its own shadow/fear/excitement response. It needs to come up if I am going to continue to serve Love those I am meant to serve.
 
I saw my power. My gift. My desire to serve others, crossing territory that, in some ways, my soul has spent a millennia in. I felt the uniqueness of myself as a man, however I choose to define that. I have a sacred role. Not out of a duty but as a passion to create bridges into the New. I felt a growing closeness to and love for my feminine that continues to blossom everyday. I don’t know how I could do this without her.
 
I found a feminine star seed that I am just starting to tap into that I feel as a priceless gift to bestow upon me when the time is ripe. There are codes floating all around waiting for their landing pad. This is an exciting new frontier for all of me. The coming together of the Dark codes and the Light codes. They all have a role to play within us.
 
I am releasing a lot of my past relationship with Kalayna which has been a big catalyst for this rumble. So many gifts that I have been mining from the letting go. One being a revived relationship with my inner teenager and feeling his energetic bind with Mom that needed more purging.
 
On the physical level, a big detox of all the drugs, alcohol, and smoke that I consumed up until I started this journey 9 years ago.
 
Thanks for taking this in with me. I needed to unpack this a bit for myself and yet I felt to share as it may serve in its own way. It is both a personal chronicling and a shared experience.
 
We are all in a time of great change. How we are with those changes greatly influence how we move through them and where we land on the other side.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Moving From Care-taking to Care-giving

By Raphael Awen

After raising or changing your frequency, you find and feel old energies present in your relationships that reflect the old you; the old you that doesn’t exist anymore, at least not in the same way, or to the same degree.

A natural tendency is to caretake those friends or family members rather than honestly and integrously bringing your truth, seeing them as kind of ‘grandfathered in’ into your life. Trouble is, grandpa’s dying or maybe even long gone, but you’re stuck with all of his unsorted stuff.

I don’t know of a greater or more effective cap on our growth than this deep rooted conditioning of caretaking.

Seeing to the core of this tendency, we see that the withhold of our truth is actually a withhold of our love; albeit in the name of love. A part of us is defensively caretaking the friend or family member out of fear of loss, out of personal need, rather than heart overflow.

This is why it’s called caretaking – it’s very much ‘on the take’. It’s living out of the absence and lack of love. It’s begging and fighting over scraps and crumbs.

Integrity asks us to be integrated, as in coming from one place, not two. This means purity; of one substance. Here, and only here, as well as magically here, the love that we truly give our selves (parts of us) is the same love; the same in character and kind that we have to give others. Nothing needs to be hidden. Nothing needs to be worked on to preserve the relationship. Relating is real and only real. Real has an energy of its own where the tendency to caretake naturally falls away and diminishes more and more as we integrate.

What truth of yours is wanting to come out into your relationships? What truth have you been disintegrously withholding in the name (and name only) of love? What manifestations of growth is a part of you afraid of while holding onto this shrinking pattern? What stress that is sourced in this hiding have you normalized? What would it feel like to bring your truth?

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.