The Inner Matriarch And Wounded Feminine Legacy

by Kalayna Colibri

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Messages of being a warrior, how to stand up to men… conditioning around fighting, especially for our equality, in a world that seems to want anything but. Over-expressing our sexuality in an unemotional or emotionally immature way, or choosing to deny its presence altogether… there is so much templating going on, so many living examples of how to become a matriarch – strong, unsentimental, yet very often unfeeling too. All of this is an expression of the pain and wounds inflicted by a patriarchal culture, yes, and it is all a reflection of how a part of each of us has chosen to be and act in reaction to it. As a collective, modern womanhood has successfully buried what it means to be soft and still, especially as the Inner Matriarch, who is often also the Inner Mother, typically has never been offered a sense of what healthy womanhood is or could be, and thus wants to believe that softness is weakness, the mind and body are ultimately what matter over the heart, and that femininity means building a self-image of femininity that is often depicted in ways that at the core, are actually another expression of the wounded masculine, but with a feminine face.

The Inner Matriarch forms inside of you, following your nearest feminine conditioning while growing up, passed down by your mother or another female caregiver. Even if the influence seems subtle, it is likely working inside of you in many ways, including how you express or choose not to express your sexuality, how you feel about your gender, how you feel about and relate to men and other women as well, and how you navigate many other aspects of your life too. The Inner Matriarch, in this way, is also the Inner Mother – a significant part of any woman, that carries within her the legacy of the matriarchal lineage in her birth family, often to a large degree.

It can be challenging when living out this conditioning, to even realize this is what’s happening. So many patterns are being relived by you that your mother and likely her mother before her also lived out… or, this part of you could be trying to deliberately choose to do the opposite, yet somehow, there is something still playing out that runs parallel to the matrilineal conditioning and grooming. It’s nearly impossible to feel what this legacy really has held for this part of you until you have taken the space necessary from your own birth mother in order to truly feel it. The Inner Matriarch that could be leading much of your decision-making and relating to self and others in your life as you have known it so far, will blend into the tapestry woven by the other women in influence in your birth family and sometimes also in your group of friends. This is why the advocacy for space and going inward is so invaluable.

The Inner Matriarch is often a way in which the pervasive patriarchal culture gets to live on… she has had to become the way she is in order to stand up to and survive in this environment, or so she has been so deeply conditioned to believe. It takes more than the  ‘inner strength’ of any female warrior archetype… it takes the strength of vulnerably feeling where the damage and hurt have been inflicted, bringing it back inward into your heart, and letting feeling waves in. It takes the courage to take the next step to even acknowledge this part of you, to feel and own the conditioning she has had and needed for so long, and to let in that something new could arise. The true feminine arising is a mystery wrapped in an enigma at times, with a soft touch that can also challenge and set boundaries as needed, without nastiness, pettiness or cruelty and without an all-out suppression of inner truth on the flipside of that.

There is a balance that can be lived into, where the rose of feminity can wrap around a healthy, vulnerable spine made of self-love and worth, coupled with a healing and humbled heart that now gets to lead the way… and this is what is offered as the Inner Mother and Matriarch gets felt and begins to heal from the long, long road she has been walking for so long, softening into the frequencies of a Sacred Queen. This is also what opens out the possibility of a nourishing Sacred Union romance with frequencies of heart, body and soul resonance that are nearly impossible to feel with the intensity of a wounded Inner Matriarch expressing predominantly in your life. There is much to go into and feel with her, yet it is all worth it as you begin to realize what your own version of the authentic and ever-arising feminine self is and could become as you move into more and more healing on all levels of your being. ❤

 


 

For more information about going into your own SoulFullHeart process and having space held for this part and other parts of you, please visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess. We would love to serve love with you on your own journey into your deepest healing possibilities and timelines…. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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The INpression Of Our Care-Givers: Feeling And Healing Our Inner Mother and Father

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by Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri

In the process of getting to “Know Thyself”, one actually finds the mirror you stare into splits into multiple lenses from which to truly see what makes you tick. You are many selves within the container of a more holistic integrated being. We live in the dimension of the “separate yet whole”. The minute you left Divine Source and popped out of the womb you landed in the field of “this and that” without totally being aware of it until you had enough time to be taught and to experience the depth of this perception of reality.

You landed in the arms of caregivers that you chose as a soul, to be reflectors of the world you landed in. They were the ones, or the one, that you were meant to learn from about yourself and life, for a particular phase of time until it was time to learn on your own. They are the single greatest imprint into our psyche and heart, next to community and society at large. The way they reacted or didn’t react to you, to themselves, and to the world established an emotive and mental ground inside of you that helped to form your own version of yourself.  Whether in rebellion against or in conforming to.  The relationship with and between each parent or caregiver created a pattern inside of you in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

Over time, this energetic relationship created a space inside of yourself that has informed many decisions in regards to so many aspects of your life.  It is an Inner Mother and Father that forms in your emotional body that carries so much data about your 3D Self and how it has found itself surviving and expressing in the world and in relationship. For women, it can express as a wounded and masculinized matriarch that is protecting the more still and sensitive Yin nature of her essence in order to survive in a still rather patriarchal world. For men, it is the expression of the controlling and aggressive patriarch or the suppression of the more vulnerable and tender parts of them.

Either way, it is a way to feel your own participation in playing out the wounded masculine picture of the world as it still largely is and has been. There is an entire lineage and legacy you carry within you, that doesn’t only begin with your birth family, as of course culture and country have influence too. Your parents learned from their parents and found their way however parts of them felt it was best for them and their own consciousness level. Choosing to feel yourself and how this lives within you by your own choice of whether or not to go into it and heal it, puts you in the seat of immense inner power to move beyond it and influence future generations to do the same.

This Inner Mother and Father can hold influence over many other aspects of your 3D Self, such as your Inner Teenager and Inner Child. They are our own versions of how we took in our caregivers. Beginning a relationship with them internally can lead to a vast new experience of ourselves that we never really knew we had, as we have been unconscious of it to the degree we needed to be in order to keep that relationship intact. If there is no external relationship to your parents, the internal still exists until it is felt as a separate part of you that can foster healing, integrating, and an unanchoring of the 3D Self into higher frequencies.  If there is still a external relationship, there may be a necessary phase of separation from them so that you can fully feel what it is that lies inside that is authentically you and what is the internal manifestation of them. Some parts of you may feel as if you are ‘abandoning’ your family/parents and that this is wrong and contemptible. Yet there is no absolute here or even a vow of ‘forever’ being out of contact with them. The space you take simply allows the truths of the relationship to arise and gives you what you need in order to feel yourself and your parts in who you have been and who you want to become.

Getting to know and feel your Inner Mother and Father will lead you to your own connection to your sovereignty of being that is no longer connected to those who ushered you into this 3D life. It will help to let go of the binds and grinds that have kept your 3D Self in the swirl of this deeply impressionable and sacred relationship. As you become a parent to your inner parents you gain a whole new perspective that integrates all the power and gifts they gave you and leave the rest behind on your growing journey into the lands of your healing heart and ascending soul. Plus, in the name of the exponential service of love, you get to become the new template, piece by piece and part by part, for how the new dance of the masculine and feminine gets to arise in this purging, healing, and shifting world.

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Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman will each write more specifically about the Inner Mother and Father as it relates to the specific genders and how it has informed and affected their personal healing process and relationships. 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Creating Our Own Galaxy Of Usness: A Poem Celebrating Sacred Union

By Jelelle Awen

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Painting is by Julia Watkins  http://energyartistjulia.bigcartel.com/product/leaning-lovers-soulmate-energy

For my beloved mate Raphael, and for YOU too:

You and me, in our altered consciousness….we create our own galaxy of USness just by walking around in each other’s orbits.

We sit in conversation in public places, changing the energy around us, inviting ALL to feel the possibilities of union like this that already lives inside them. A seed just waiting for the water of their desire and intention.

We create these fields, these joined together merkabahs and vehicles of light and love, that transport us to other timelines, dimensions, all our soul’s counterpart pairings….Golden Earth experiences while bridged to and in 3D.

You evoke my feminine, I provoke your masculine…and they dance, as they should, to music first heard from within and then expressed together.

Creating safe heart space….we are free to bring the vulnerabilities, sensitivities, and triggers of our deepest densities to each other.

Allowing each other to remain wild, bonded but not bound…we are able to surprise each other, remain ultimately unknowable, and unfold the mysteries of our deepest essence as we go.

We serve as a lived in, loved in, reminder that the experience of sacred union CAN arise without conditions, situations, and or even a partner as it grows from within firstly and mostly…..preparing the heart, soul, and body grounds to receive and respond when it is time for an other to come along….

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.

Our Inner Teenager: The Heart And Soul Of Our 3D Self

 

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The Land of Confusion.  The volatile teenage heart. These are the years of many of our intense experiences with our fading childhood and impending entry into adulthood. These are the times that many of us can go back to and see a scene that our inner teenager lives in.  Those poignant moments that this part of us still lives in that shifted the direction of their life and has yet to fully process it all.  So many different social and familial pressures that left us in a state of tug of war…or just plain war. Those on the healing journey are on it to recover from these very times. Those very moments still burned into the lining of our heart. They are the heart and soul of our 3D Self.

Our inner teenager houses so much of our passion, desire, and dreamer.  Many chose to roll down the rebel road and set fire to whatever could be set fire to, looking for anything that was real in a very unreal world. Others found themselves playing by the rules, suppressing anything that would go against the direction of the greater wave of what was expected of them.  Then there were the in-betweens, never quite comfortable with either. This part of us is so prevalent in our lives.  Without a mature template to walk us through the valley of this very trying time we were left with an imprint that carries on to this day in the way we hold our own 3D health and maturity.

The inner teenager can be seen in our rebellion and our conformity.  It can be found in our relationships and our sexuality.  In the way we need to be by ourselves or the need to be with others.  They are in the closed door bedroom with headphones on, or in the late night party trying to see if they will be noticed by anyone “important” or “hot”. They may even be the default parent and is nowhere close to being like the “others”.  All of this is a part of their heart story that is so needing and wanting to be felt in the depths by someone who is able to deal with the gravity and levity of a teenager.

Going into the world of our inner teenager brings us closer the passion, imagination, and creativity we had to set aside for various reasons.  It is about feeling the loss of innocence that led us to so much serious. They are the bridge from our youth to our maturity.  They are truly seers of new worlds. Healing our inner teenager brings a new vision of life that has technicolor rad-ness and infinite vision.  It brings a joy and lightness that seeks to learn and have fun at the same time. So not like school!

My inner teenager wants to say, “It was never about what I wanted to be when I ‘grew up’, it was about what I was feeling about myself in the moment that mattered most. Having someone I respected feel it with me, not to fix me, just to feel me. I just wanted to live and experience life from place that I felt comfortable in my own skin and didn’t have to impress upon anyone to be accepted, for I hadn’t accepted myself. I wanted know what real masculinity was that wasn’t false bravado. I wanted to know what true love really was that wasn’t based in what I had or didn’t have. I just wanted to feel the courage to be me and not an image to hide behind.”

The gifts abound form this relationship within and we can find ourselves being the parent our inner teenager always wanted us to be, even as we are being challenging with a compassionate heart. The healed teenager integrates into our maturing heart and leads us to new vistas of brave new worlds they always wanted to visit.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Dearest Sacred Human: You Are Arising – With Magdalena And Christiel

Dearest Human,
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You are arising….from the seeds of your sacred humanity, in feminine or masculine form, does your little bud grow into full blossom. Watered by self love, self worth, self connection…….your flower petals of soul and heart open wide, open UP, releasing the mysterious scents and displaying the vibrant colors of your human-ness. This organic growth process happening often without your witnessing or tracking, spring-loaded as it is to occur.

You are arising….from the deep sleep of not being seen or heard or recognized in your authentic feminine or masculine VULNERABLE powerful leadership……now BEing woken up to your soul purpose here. Transitioning from your slumbering sleeping beauty state to your co-leading reign with your BEloved mate OR alone as solo Queen or King for a phase. Your slumber has been necessary, yet so painful at times, I know, and I have been compassionate witness to it ALL.

You are arising….from the letting go of mirrors within relationships that no longer reflect your awakening self. BEing real about how you FEEL in these unions, especially those formed from previous genetic bonds, soul agreements that may be complete, and karmic binds that you no longer need. Moving on with love and grace from these bonds while keeping your heart open…..yet your soul, heart, body, and mind desires for nourishing transaction becoming more clear.

You are arising….from the tears of your inner child BEing felt finally and the little daughter or son within you receiving parenting care from you and from the Divine Feminine Mother. You are healing and integrating your 3D self aspects that had to form in order to survive the world. Your awakening WOMAN or MAN maturing through connection with the undigested trauma of those past thens….moments that still exist in the now of your emotional body that are assimilating into you. You are ripening into your emotional maturity AS you integrate the ageless wisdoms and gifts of your soul.

You are arising….from the remembering of your galactic origins and tastes of your Star BEing roots. You are being invited to speak the languages of these heritages, every syllable creating a wave form connection beaming out from your chrystalline throat and your cosmic heart. There is something ancient here and beyond time too, in the NOW you are merging with your Star BEing aspects to infuse higher dimensional frequencies into your human one to arise into a sacred form in human.

You are arising….from the essence of your purpose to serve love as you align your life to this calling. You are transitioning from DOing things as your means of drawing livelihood to BEing service of love in ALL moments. Receiving and responding to the gifts from the Universe and Divine Source that come as you serve love and let go of ‘hows’. The mind cannot be certified to serve love nor the remembrance of your soul gifts come from traditional learning or the previous self-image-based ways, yet you gain access to it as you BEcome and open up to it with your genuine and humble desire to serve love.

You are arising….We SO support this process and we are HERE to be with you in it ALL…the blooming, the growing, the speaking, the receiving, the responding, the giving, the serving, the BEING. We are HERE with so much love for you, AS aspects of you, to offer a template of NEW sacred human for you to lean into as our Divine frequencies blend with your human ones. You draw the form of us AS you that you most need and can resonate with.

Dearest sacred human…you are arising!! Claiming the love that you ARE and so BEcoming it too during this time of Re-Union and Re-membering. So much love to you from us to us and WITH you!

In love,

Magdalena, Christiel…. with Jelelle

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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.

Claiming The Sacred Union Within And With Other That Is Waiting For You

By Jelelle Awen
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“Heaven is this…moments with you in the now. In our now, just as it is and yet, too, what we can imagine will BE and is coming. As we align our hearts together, our visions, our bodies, and our minds…the now comes alive and gives us tastes of what we already taste AS heaven and will someday just have MORE.”
 
This I feel toward and with my BEloved Raphael in this moment, yet, also I want to share HOW this relationship arises the way that it does, in the textures of authenticity, companionship, and realness that it does. I want to share this HOW with you as you CAN have and be this kind of mateship too AND I do feel that you are meant to be in this kind of sacred union. Not just some very special souls who incarnated here and signed up rejoin with their ‘twin flame’. Not just those who ‘fit a certain picture’ from a soul perspective. Yet, ALL souls, I feel, can BE in this kind of sacred union with another……if and as they are IN this kind of sacred union within, which is the ground we offer through our SoulFullHeart process.
 
The sacred union within is the knowing, connecting, and BEing with the feminine inside and all her expressions and tones from the wounded matriarch who rages and controls to the inner princess with her innocent dreams of her grand romance. It is searching out the masculine inside and letting him roar, letting him edge, letting him drop his weapons eventually and break down into sobs that crack open his heart and FINALLY expose his vulnerability. It is being with these aspects within at their consciousness level of 3D and transitional 4D….feeling what they are anchored to in 3D life, what their conditioning has been….really, what YOU took in as 3D reality that fractures, fragments, and creates different energies and masks.
 
The sacred union within brings you more and more into wholeness as you integrate these fragmented aspects with SO MUCH love…you court and date and woo these aspects of yourself with true curiosity and genuine charm. What you would have given a mate, you give instead to yourself and all the parts of you that SO need that loving. As you come into more wholeness from within and so much more sense of self, then can the mate come that is also in their own personal exploration of self. Parts of you will not be looking to other to complete or fill you up as YOU will fill yourself up and in THAT self love overflow then desire to share with another.
 
These two emerging authentic selves come together in a healthy dance of exploration in all areas of body, mind, soul, and heart and that is what we feel in SoulFullHeart is sacred union. This dance is galactic, cosmic, earthbound, and yet grounded in the physical body. It is of the stars and of Gaia too. It brings in Metasoul frequencies from other lifetimes, civilizations, timelines, species, galaxies…this sacred union draws these energies to infuse the two mating souls with MORE of themselves so that this infused union can then serve love….exponentially and on a galactic level.
 
I am not offering this as theory, fantasy, or something I have downloaded from etheric guides. THIS reality I live everyday and have for nine years. THIS reality I have fought hard for…not with weapons and not for the goal of winning, yet with love I have faced that which comes from fear over and over within myself and within my relationship with Raphael. I have stayed in the room with him even when it was uncomfortable and showed me aspects of myself that were hard to see and be with. This is NOT easy to decondition from ALL that we receive about 3D romance and it’s toxic, codependent and just plain LACKING pictures of what is possible between two souls and within ourselves. Yet, I do believe it is ingrained in our higher frequency aspects and counterpart pairings and we can start to download that as we open up to them.
 
If you ache for this kind of sacred union inside yourself…..starting there, you SO can experience it and we offer in SoulFullHeart a process for navigating that ground which DOES bring this magic into your life if you are ready for it. And, going on this path FOR yourself, so then, do you draw the mate that is walking on it themselves. You join heart and soul hands together and love lights your every way inward and forward.
~
 
Jelelle Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
We offer a 30 minute free intro with a SFH Facilitator to feel into where the SFH process could go with you. Is it time to claim the sacred union that you can feel is waiting for you?
Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc. 

3D/4D/5D Selves In Sacred Union Within And With Other – Video And Guided Meditation

 

Sacred union from within and with other invites you into deepening frequencies of transaction in all grounds of heart, body, soul, and mind. In this video and audio, SoulFullHeart co-creators, teachers, facilitators, and sacred union mates Raphael and Jelelle Awen lead a group call teaching about how the 3D/4D/5D self expresses within sacred union and also in the seven areas of life: emotional, spiritual, mental, physical, social, financial, and environmental.

The 3D self is the fragmented self that becomes this way from needing to adjust to 3D density of separation, duality, etc. 4D self is the transitional, awakening self whose soul consciousness is beginning to come into BEing and often clashing with the 3D self and the congested emotional body AND metasoul. 5D self is beyond personality, essence to serve love, higher self IN the body with healthy emotional body and healthy heart.

3D relationship is based on codependence, shrinking, fitting, ‘hookups’ between aspects of the 3D selves of each partner. Many relationships fit into this. 4D relationships are between growing and awakening 4D selves who are changing, growing, awakening. Sometimes one partner is more 4D and other is still 3D, which will eventually lead to completion as the frequencies don’t match and the ground runs out. 5D relationships are bringing in more soul frequencies, metasoul and counterpart soul, multiple timelines and expressions, fluid, committed yet not grabbing, united in service of love purpose together.

Raphael and Jelelle also guide you on a meditation journey to connect with Christiel (who offers you frequencies of healthy king, sacred masculine) and Magdalena (who offers frequencies of queen, sacred femininity). They infuse you with sacred union codes for the joining of sacred and masculine frequencies inside and with a mate, plus you connect with your 3D, 4D, and 5D self. SoulFullHeart Facilitators Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri also share their experience with their 3D/4D/5D selves connected to sacred union.

This call was originally recorded on August 27, 2017 via zoom. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcalls for more information about future group calls that you can join live, sessions with SoulFullHeart facilitators, writings, community, retreats, more videos, and more! The personal sharings that happened during the call have been edited out for privacy reasons.

To listen to previously recorded SoulFullHeart Group Calls:
http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcallrecordings

Eclipse Energies Bring A Renewed Sense Of The Sacred Masculine Dance

by Kalayna Colibri

 

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The Eclipse energies are bringing out something NEW in the masculine. It is trying to birth a new sense of what the ‘sacred masculine’ is, which has felt elusive and puzzling, not to mention hard to define. Any definitions we’ve tried to say are ‘it’ have tended to fall short most of the time, for it is still being rediscovered, along with the sacred feminine. It calls for men who are able to embody its messiness of heart and truth on this path of rediscovery. It calls for women to feel it within themselves as a counterpart to the budding inner feminine. The wounded masculine is alive within us all to some degree, until it has really been felt for the protection it has wanted and needed to offer and the tiredness it is feeling more and more as it realizes it IS wounded and does need our love and healing…

This healing can and does happen, the more we hold the desire for it too. It is so much of what needs to be felt and healed in our world as we ‘kNOw’ it today. It is expressed in the ways we claim to ‘know’ what we cannot in many ways, mental approaches to spirituality that do not ask us to embody it and feel it deeply inside of our hearts as arising sacred humans, and it is our okayness and also thirst for war and battles in any way, shape or form. It is expressed too, through our outrage, through our self-image creation and maintenance, through our push-aways from our hearts and the hearts of others, through the walls parts of us have built around us, wanting to contain and protect was is precious within, wanting to keep itself from being felt for what it truly is.

We see and feel it in our leaders and our leadership inside of us too. We feel it in our sexuality, our desires for dominance (though as woman, perhaps this is more subtle or takes a different form than it does for men), our pushing and action-based lives we’ve led. It is something that shows up often in our daily lives, especially when we have not begun to really see it and feel it.

Perhaps this current Eclipse will help bring in more illumination of this inside of you and inside of others. I am feeling it for myself today and these words are what I want to offer the masculine inside of me, inside of you, and inside of all men…

~

To the renewing, emerging, strengthening Sacred Masculine, within AND outside of me…

I invite you into a dance. A dance less structured than a waltz, and as passionate as a tango. I want to fill my dance card with the names of men (and eventually, only ONE man) who feel the pull, the desire, for themselves, for me, for us. I want unchoreographed, spontaneous steps, sometimes in alignment with each other, at other times not. I want the mess of the self-discovery that has us at times wondering how on Earth we’re going to navigate this one, though we both have the gumption, the desire, the courage to keep going inside as the only option.

I want something I can grab a hold of, without tugging or being tugged on. Something that is concrete yet has breathing and fluidity and room for what IS along with what could be and what we both want, starting with what we want inside of ourselves.

The games of old, those ones we never wanted to play anyway, they are being asked to crumble inside of us. They are being set to fall away in avalanches of pure love and sacred union codes coming in, that so do not resonate or match the currently embraced picture of romantic relationship, which is steeped in much emotional and spiritual immaturity and unrealness.

I want to let it all, all we’ve thought we ‘knew’, fly away with the wind in poignant moments of sorting through this from that within each of us and within ‘us’ too. I want to unlearn and relearn it all with you. I want to feel it all bubbling up and bursting within me and within us, and play it all like notes and chords on piano keys, bringing it all to the fore of our relationship ground, that place where it’s safe to do so and yet the precipice of where it could all fall apart (and in phases, needs to) is always there too.

I see you, I feel you, I know you… I trust the heart that is arising and reconciling inside of you, sometimes with contention and male ‘UMPH’. Ugh. YES. The line of abuse cannot be reached by a heart that is working towards its purity and holds deep reverence, respect, love, care, for itself and me too.

I want any resistance that’s here within you, within me, to BE pushed up, to be felt, to be held, to be loved, to be ultimately moved. I do not want the resistance to become the relationship, the reason to slow it all down. I want our parts to know, feel, understand that you are there for them, for your own, that I am there for them, for my own.

I want the genuine, the real, the incredibly HOT sacred masculine that arises from deep within the shadows and caves of the real, the soulful, the heartful, that doesn’t caretake, the penetrates in all the ways it needs to, that mates and creates and brings its truth, even if its truth isn’t polished or perfect or even UNDERSTOOD fully. I want the shit storms. Yes. The masculine in ME wants that, wants to be pressed up, pushed on, noticed, healed, moved, so that the feminine that so wants to dance with it and with YOU can arise more and more as the climate shifts to one where it can, where it is safe to, where it isn’t expected to battle, to be an Amazon, to outrage, but to encourage, to be, to heal, to offer

I want the ‘shit storms’. Yes. The masculine in ME wants that, wants to be pressed up, pushed on, noticed, healed, moved, so that the feminine that so wants to dance with it and with YOU can arise more and more as the climate shifts to one where it can, where it is safe to, where it isn’t expected to battle, to be an Amazon, to outrage, but to encourage, to be, to heal, to offer healing, to LOVE, to have her stillness that is born from an elegant blossom grown in mud and fun too. I want those portals the masculine and feminine are meant to create together, to bring out from each other, to step into in love that is made in the physical and other levels too. And you’ll know if you can do this, by your reaction to these words, that yes, I do feel are coming from a masculine AND a feminine inside of me too. Somehow, I trust that if you’re meant to, you’ll get this. Your maturity will resonate with it and your heart and soul that desire to FEEL and to HEAL and to make genuine, heart open love that travels to the Cosmos and back again with a woman is what you’ll feel now.

This is not coming from a woman who has solely been burned, been victimized, been abused, though of course that lies in this woman’s heart and body’s history with men who haven’t embodied the sacred masculine before or really even tried (save one, who to this day I still heal with consistently and we help each other move a lot, even just as dear friends). My stories of these experiences are not an attachment, though they also live in my Metasoul as well as my emotional and physical bodies. Nothing inside of me is asking you to heal it for me. Nothing inside of me needs you to be something you’re not, for what you ARE, IS the journey for me and for you.

I feel ready. I feel ready to take on something new. I feel ready for what can only move and heal in monogamous, romantic relationship. I feel a new relationship arising to my own inner masculine that wants to become more of the sacred masculine too, and at the same time, I feel my feminity wanting to arise more and more, to be in the space with me more, to feel safer there than she ever has. To share this with a man, who is also feeling inside of himself a feminine counterpart that wants to arise and heal and be, along with a masculine that wants to do the driving, to lead himself to more healing on a REAL level, to be in deep sacred union mateship with a woman that he sees and feels as body, heart, AND soul and wants to claim with all of his being as she claims him with all of hers, THIS is the dream, this is the desire that is bursting from me today. And this is the ongoing invitation, perhaps right now more than ever before with these Solar Eclipse energies coming in and illuminating, shifting, driving us to more and more healing on levels that maybe we could not have imagined before.

My inner masculine and feminine, who are trying to reconcile something with each other in this moment, it feels like, thank you for taking this in right now. They thank you for welcoming their passion, their unknown about themselves that they are looking to discover, their desire to feel it all. Thank you… and I welcome you into this powerful sense of passionate discovery and rediscovery for yourself too.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

BEing Real, Riding The Emotional Waves

By Jelelle Awen

 

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Raphael and I in San Sebastian, Mexico

I was feeling tiredness yesterday and today I am feeling in glow and flow….softer, surrendered, open. This is how the waves of energies seem to impact and invite us to ride our own inner waves of emotional body waters, especially in this now of August 2017 and Lion/Lioness/eclipse frequencies. I was with the tiredness that came from some recent situations (growing pains in the best way as our community grows) plus what was DEEP in the collective Metasoul (and mine too) from those of us choosing to lead in so many different expressions and ways in so many timelines and realities (as so many of you shared about yesterday too in resonance). We need to feel this bone and soul deep tiredness at times, be willing to BE with it because it is REAL and we serve ourselves immensely and the collective in our feeling of it.

It was fascinating to me yesterday that sharing from that tiredness, yet, also offering the ultimate choice of love (as being with that tiredness IS a choice of love), I then received probably the most response I have on any of my facebook posts in terms of the amount and volume of comments, likes, and sharings. I so appreciated the vulnerability in many of the comments and the PURE love and appreciation for me and what I am leading and sharing as well. It was overwhelming to be honest and I did some checking in with my guides and Metasoul aspects for support to hold it, let it in, and respond to it and to take my next steps into leadership….moving into the new for myself and away from experiences of the past with ‘crickets’ in the room and very little response. Because I have engaged in much egoic/false self deconstruction work through parts work process and many death/rebirth phases around offering my gifts, there doesn’t seem to be a self image-based version of me grabbing onto this attention, yet rather I feel a ‘beyond personality’ energy inside of me (the higher self coming into body) that responds to serving love…..AND trailing edges/echos of parts of myself that get kicked up and triggered at times too (although this is not much these days.)

It really struck me again how there is so little permission in our 3D culture to feel, to be real…and this seems to have translated to our spiritual/awakening culture as well, although I do feel there is an increasing waking up to this bypassing of emotional reality and the cost of it. The ultimate cost is in what then doesn’t get to feel the light of your love…..creating a shaky foundation for which MUCH energy is needed to keep it all intact to maintain the appearance of being shiny and bright.

I can only share and teach and lead and BE what is emotionally authentic for me…this has taken MANY years of feeling what is not authentic and the parts of me that create these not real frequencies and why. I cannot pretend to be light, high, and UP if I am not. Or spacious and kind if that is not what parts of me are feeling. That doesn’t mean that I get to kick out or abuse or project at others….I hold myself responsible for my emotional reality and its impact in a very deep way (probably more than most souls can even track and at micro levels after many years of parts work.) I don’t feel this realness disqualifies me from leading or teaching, yet, rather is the new grounds of qualification for leadership in New Earth….realness, vulnerability, self permission, NOT pretending to be strong and brave, NOT being a warrior who ‘toughs it out’ yet rather to be soft, open, and also REAL about what we are feeling when it isn’t soft and open. This New Earth leadership empowers every soul to BEcome a leader of themselves, inside, and most importantly at the emotional body level where there is often the most immaturity and unhealed woundings.

The permission I am offering here is what I feel the Divine is also offering us ALL. For so long parts of us have played in this 3D experiment of pretend and get by, worn our masks, and followed the rules. THIS is what is collapsing now as those of us in heart and soul resonance are rebelling against this control system and fake matrix. The rebellion phases can have a lot of RAGE pushed up in them, outrage and necessary advocacy as parts of you say ‘no’ to so much of what they were served and conditioned in.

Another phase seems to be surrender to the Divine yet still with DEEP commitment and sense of the New Earth vision and to living it out in the Now. Not as a future goal or when some grand event happens where everyone ascends at once….yet rather a commitment to the process of it, to the every moment of it, to the ups and downs, to the highs and lows, to the dark and the light. A commitment to the mess of it and to the beauty of it too…..the bliss mess of it. This commitment, really, is to yourself AND to the collective too and that you’ll stay with the process and ‘in the room’ as it all falls apart and is reborn again.

This commitment is to love and the ongoing service of it…NOT just in the good moments yet, rather, in ALL moments. This is a BIG commitment and I feel how so many of you take it seriously and your own processes first of all. Things ARE shifting, New Earth is here in the now, and our commitment to love is offering us the gifts of experiencing the returns of goodness more and more in our daily lives, as we are meant to.

Thank you for BEing on this journey with me and for your choice and commitment to love. I am HONORED and so appreciative that you are HERE!!!

~

Jelelle Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.com
The challenges of this journey of transitioning into New Earth are immense and ‘going it alone’ is an aspect of the old paradigm and lone wolf phase. We are here in SoulFullHeart for support, guidance, community, empowerment, love if you are ready to receive and give:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/services

Raphael Awen and I are hosting one of our heart opening group calls this Saturday to digest all the influxes in ascension energies and how to be with that on an emotional body level through our parts work process:https://www.facebook.com/events/141617019749771

 

Trusting The Ascension Process, Leaning Into The Divine Feminine

By Jelelle Awen
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Trusting the process, trusting yourself, trusting the curiosity that comes up in response to ALL that you are feeling and starting to see and BE. Trusting the arising into the new that wants to rearrange your life WITH love. Trusting the draws and urges that may turn your previous life UPside down.

Trust the process…….This message comes through clearly today as the intense Lion energies seem to be calming down and settling in just a bit….maybe to allow us a breathing in and an exhaling out again before it picks UP again. Always does a Divine grace orchestration seem to modulate the flow of these catalytic energies so that it is at a rate and pace that we (and parts of us!) can bear. These energies are not meant to ‘blow us out’ or ‘take us down’ even if they tumble us a fair bit or bring up hard things to feel and be with. Especially if you are WITH the Divine in the process and surrendering, then you can experience how nothing is being done to you….yet rather with you and with so much care and love FOR you.

I feel something soft, comforting and feminine always there too. She is more mysterious and elusive and you may need to connect to Her consciously to feel Her. So much focus can be given to the masculine activation of this ascension process….the pushing up and the purging and UPgrading. So much trying to understand and locate what is going on. Yet, too, the feminine HOLDS the space for the process and invites us into not knowing. She is the mother that gestates the baby just in Her BEing of stillness. She is the mother allowing you to form and shape and grow while just loving all that you are and forgiving all that you are still too scared yet to be. She is the reminder that you are enough just as you are in this moment while holding all the potential and capacity of what you could someday become.

The feminine also brings you out of the mind, if parts of you have a tendency to go to the lower vibe frequencies of the mental body that want to kNOw, sort out, analyze, prove it all, track it and locate it. I feel that this mental activity is a block to flowing into feeling and the emotional body and to the intuitions of the higher chakras that allow creativity and ‘unexplainable’ experiences. It can block the emotional body awakening that wants to be felt and allowed. This can be a challenge for men, especially, as so much conditioning supports this mental body filtering. The masculine inside of women (the Inner Protector energies) can revert to this too and question what is coming through or spin out in obsessive thinking loops. There seems to be a connection to the Archon and fear-based Reptilian fusion experiment too where unhooking and unplugging from these frequencies can help with letting go of the mind more. ALL of this exploration of mind needs to be held with much love and not ‘against’ the mind energy as that is what allows it (and the parts that use it) to let go.

Trusting the process……..this is leaning into the BIG picture and context of ascension as a collective experience, connected to the sense we are going through this (on varying levels and degrees) as a species moving into our sacred humanity and into embodiment of everything higher in all our bodies…physical, emotional, mental, chakral/spiritual/energetic, social.

This is a surrender to the masculine and the feminine aspects of this process and how ultimately they are seeking balance from within you through expression AS you.

Trusting the process may also be inviting you to seek and ask for support from others as space holders, teacher, waySHOWers, and within community too. This has been crucial to my ongoing, deepening trust in the process….I have needed many space holders, a couple beloved teachers and lived in community for many years too, which I co-lead, teach, facilitate, and offer to others. All of these ‘outside’ resources ultimately reflect you to you and help to deepen trust in yourself for however long or deep these connections go.

Trusting the process, yes,….the moment by moment walking this out and BEing with it too. Allowing change to move you where you need to go next. Most of all, trusting the love that holds it all and YOU!

I have a tender place in my heart for this guided meditation that came through with Mother Mary that offers comfort, soothing energies for all the bodies during the ascension process….many people fall asleep which is so OK as it goes in as it meant to and sometimes the conscious mind has be UNconscious for it to go in!

https://youtu.be/nkTbTJBBlHE

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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.