Feeling What We Really Want In Our Social Worlds: Indigo, Crystal And Rainbow Souls Blog Series

 

by Kalayna Colibri

our social worlds

On a Saturday night, I gaze among the busy social streets and walkways, humming with activity and energy and alcohol and friendship… sometimes coupled with drama and pain and backed-up emotional outbursts. During these party times, you can feel the buzz in the air that will soon be in every body, not just from substances taken in, but from the high of socializing, being among peers, perhaps finding love, sex or making new friends. There are grounds here that are healthy to explore and some that aren’t really in a sense, and yet it’s all sacred and it’s all ultimately a path to self-discovery and remembrance, even if this isn’t made conscious in the moments these selves, these individuals, these human BEings are in.

While young, being spiritual can find its place in you if this is what you’ve signed up for… exploring consciousness can sometimes happen with your peers, while at other times it won’t or just can’t. For a phase this journey with them can only go so deep and that’s fine with you for a while, but beyond that phase when that was enough, it’s not quite enough anymore. This is when values shift along with ideas of life and how to live it consciously and more fully. This is where certain areas of focus, ways to find pleasure, and paths to feeling a togetherness with others all rumble beneath your feet and in front of your eyes. This is where your life begins to turn itself upside down in countless ways as you begin to feel the need to push away, sometimes dramatically, sometimes subtly, but always in a way that reminds you, you are your own person and you have your own sense of what energies you need and want to be around as your self love heals and deepens.

There can be a fear arising then, for some… that no one will ever really “get” them or may judge them for walking away from the relationship. Parts of them form and begin to strategize to either stay alone out of fear of having and then losing intimacy at any level, or choose to merge in with whatever group of people they are around or whatever situation they are in, becoming one with all around them and not much of an individual in most ways. There is tension and yet also relief as you find your ways to take care of and love YOU as your number one priority. There is sometimes also flatness, as managing these ups and downs (that are hormonal, sure, but also a genuine awakening to soul and heart pain) can be a challenging crucible to hold and handle and be with. So much depends on who you choose to be around and talk to and lean into for support. This shopping around, seeking, searching experience is one that can be incredibly mind and heart-opening, fascinating, and ever-arising too, as resonance moves in and out in very necessary growth phases. This again changes the social circle you choose to be part of and certainly affects the one you currently have as you continue to awaken to the love you are and the love you want to experience between yourself and others. There are so many different dynamics that are possible here and that play out in different ways, with many possible outcomes… yet the risk is always the same – if I don’t stay the same and they do, I will be friendless again or even for the first time…

The strong soul-pull to discover and remember our purposes is something that is happening more and more with people of all ages and soul groups, especially right now with ascension processes accelerating for everyone, yet when it comes to indigo, crystal and rainbow souls, for example, these social awakenings can come very early in our lives as we came in with a powerful, mission-based focus that is natural for us to feel, yet not so natural to “know” exactly what to do with. It can be very challenging to finds ways to fit in with others in our peer group, not because we are victims to this (though parts of us understandably feel this way sometimes) but because we chose for this to be the case… after all, if we actually DID feel as if we totally, fully, completely “belonged”, where would our sense of mission and awakening to our soul gifts have room to happen, take hold and start manifesting in our lives? To not suffer around this, means going IN and feeling ourselves with reflections from teachers and mentors who have also been there and can help us learn to navigate it, often much better than our birth parents ever could – not necessarily because they didn’t want to try, but because in some ways they weren’t actually meant to be the ones to lead you onward and into this.

Throughout the majority of my life to date, having and keeping a thriving a social world was very challenging. This is partly because I was always very much IN my emotional states and didn’t have templating for how to actually BE with them and hold them… no adult around me could help with this and my peers had a hard time relating to me most of the time, plus it eventually became a tool for parts of me to actually push and keep others away. Then there was spirituality and the deepening of THAT for me… and now I am on a very powerful and ever-expanding path that spans both my emotional AND spiritual inner realities and THAT is rare, though it seems that more and more people, as they awaken, are realizing how connected these two realities are and that they need healing in both in order to fully embrace and live into ascension. In my experience and observation both, I can see and feel how this ground of being naturally very emotional and also spiritual has been and continues to be a tough crucible for many of us… awakening does come at a cost, yet is intended to invite us out of suffering while holding the parts of us who cling to suffering as a way to be in life. One of these ways in which we seem to choose to continue suffering, is by surrounding ourselves with relationships that do not have a deeply resonant ground. Our social worlds collapse and expand as we continue to grow… but not without love leading the way and guiding us to our next places inward that then draw our next circumstances outward.

Not having a full social world to ground you can be hard for some souls, yet for others it won’t be and that poses its own challenges. Choosing the path of the lone wolf is also hard and even though parts of you may be working to bury the loneliness somehow, it is still there. These parts can be held, worked with and healed deeply, allowing us to feel how we really, genuinely feel, what it is we most deeply want and who we actually want to be around and spend time with. Our loneliness is sacred and alchemical… it is creative. It is a space where we can feel our deepest aches and desires for mateship, for companionship, for a community of people that continually arise for us as we arise for them. Being afraid of feeling our loneliness is expected and normal, but holding these parts of us who feel this way teaches us so much about ourselves and offers us much healing when it is held in our hearts FOR us and WITH love and Divine guidance and company too… we are never really alone, though this can be hard to feel and let in. Yet sometimes alone-ness can be a grace, a place to genuinely feel what we need to feel, and an oven to bake our arising desires in.

Perhaps you are part of a social world right now that may be running out of ground for you, as your awakenings are helping you feel pictures and energies of the sort of love you want to feel from you to you and flowing from you to others and vice versa… in the end, the choice is yours as to what steps to take next, and there is no wrong answer or true misstep along the way. Even our biggest messes seem to offer us many gems of learning, growth and self-discovery. Letting go can be painful and hard, yet in the end, true service to a relationship of any kind starts with feeling what you genuinely want and need, while holding all relationships with an open hand and heart. This becomes a grace to you and your parts, and them and theirs too, as everyone is then free to go along their own path, however they see and feel it unfolding for them.

I would love to serve you and help you navigate this terrain that can be so challenging and yet hopeful too. You are meant to become more of your essence, your light, your soul purpose and mission. You are meant to lead and BE a big part of ascension and we all need each other more than perhaps we ever have before!

You can visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information on session space.

Sending you lots of love and support… ❤

Kalayna

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Financial Area Of Life: Indigo, Crystal And Rainbow Souls Blog Series

by Kalayna Colibri

heart-money-380x235

There are some souls who have signed up to become masters in the domain of money and finances, and some even become financial wizards at very young ages. Then there are some who seem to not ever get a foothold on having a financially stable lifestyle; juggling multiple jobs, bills, family members to provide for, and a seemingly endless list of troubles. There are those who dance in between these two as well, and this is sometimes where we will find Indigos, Crystals and other souls like them. When I feel these souls, and also when I reflect on my own ongoing journey and healing with regard to money, I feel the tug ‘o war between old conditioning that we have been raised by, old systems that are collapsing, and the arising desire to keep blowing up these systems so we can live in an economy that is gift-based and involves living in conscious community with shared resources. This writing today is mostly for those who feel as if money is an area they struggle with. It is VERY possible to be of these soul groups and NOT feel as if money is a challenging topic!

There is a reality to ground into when it comes to current financial systems in place, and then there is also a more desirous way of being and transacting in life and in relationships that is more nourishing, and that is not only a dream but is something we are actualizing right now – if we can begin to let that in. This is the place where I feel these unique soul groups seem to have a lot of struggle. There is still a need for money to some degree, and money itself, after all, is only a piece of our overall consciousness about love and exchange… our very personal relationship to it, is what makes it either come into our lives in abundance or keeps us feeling as if we are victims, always needing more of it and never seeming to get ahead. Choosing what it is we want to do with the money we have (i.e. what we want to invest it in) is actually an area where we have a lot of power.

 

We often have a rebellious streak that wants to avoid the whole thing of having to find financial stability to some degree in our lives, and also we may feel entitled to free help or services. I’ve definitely had a lot to feel around entitlement, wanting things to happen YESTERDAY and sometimes also wanting financial exchanges (like food and rent) to be WAY lower, if not free. I also leaned into birth family for a chunk of my early adulthood for financial help, which they felt obliged to give me at the time. During my healing process though, I was guided to end this cycle and start taking care of myself… that’s where my real growth started to take root, in more arenas than just this one. At some point, I had to choose to invest in myself in a deeper way. This is also where SoulFullHeart came in, and because I was choosing to invest deeply in ME and the timing was right to do so, the money for sessions just sort of worked itself out somehow and, because it was the right path for me, the growth was (and is) exponential and paying off in many, many ways.

 

Though part of me didn’t want to work anymore unless it had to do directly with my soul purpose work, it turned out that life was actually trying to show me that for a phase, I needed to have a regular job to offer me the healing I needed in order TO be able to fully inhabit my soul purpose work much later. The main gift of this, I am now realizing, was being able to land more in my much needed personal healing. I needed the grist of having a job (or several) in order to feel myself and parts of me more strongly, to have them pushed up to the surface by their different reactions so that I could feel and heal what I was being asked to during this phase.This also taught be how to navigate and flow with life while engaging in deep inner work. This created a profound lifestyle change that is still evolving today, right along with me. There is a bigger trust in life that I didn’t have back when this all first began, but in hindsight I can now understand it… I needed to trust deeper that if this is what life was showing me I needed to do, there would inevitably be something big in it for me. Perhaps one of the biggest gifts I can cultivate from having gone into the gift of every single job I’ve had as an adult, is that I can now digest it in writings like this one, with a desire to help you find your own way to more trust in the choices life is offering you (regardless of what soul group you belong to!). Finding stability is an act of self love and care. We may need to make choices that de-stabilize us for a phase too, but we ready ourselves for that by allowing ourselves to actually HAVE stability for a while, laying a healthy groundwork inside of ourselves to be able to find our way with sanity.

 

It’s easy as young people fresh out of university or college, to feel imprisoned by debt. There can be a lot of guilt around wanting to bail on it or maybe some self-image pieces around declaring bankruptcy because of it. I feel strongly like debt actually IS a prison sentence that we are ALLOWING to be real for us. It is another way to be distracted from our true healing and soul purpose work by feeling predominantly like victims to the systems we are trying to shift and change. Well, what I feel to be more and more true these days, is that these systems are already collapsing in on themselves, because they were always meant to. Love has already won. There is no real battle to fight here, we just have to find ways to climb out from under the rubble. Feeling angry or upset is so normal and expected and indeed, for phases we do need our outrage (I’m especially talking to Indigos here, feels like) in order to help move things along, yet, if you think about it, who is that outrage meant to ultimately serve, but YOU? Whatever, wherever it leads you to, it is the path you are choosing and the path you most need at this moment. Feeling knocked sideways by the realm of money, is a symptom of something inside of US that needs to be felt and healed. As we choose to go inward, the systems will be and ARE collapsing outward. Your outrage is a roadmap to your inner world of pain and desire, both, and you DO have an effect on the collective on different levels whether you decide to go in and heal or not…

 

This philosophy is so applicable to any area of our life where we feel we would like to experience more abundance or an easier flow. Going inward about it is where we can feel and experience our true power and alchemy. We are infinitely creative beings, all of us. Though it’s difficult to understand at times why we seem to be struggling to get ahead, especially if we are conscious at all about the HUGE souls we are and the importance of what we came here to do and lead, we must stop looking outside of us for answers, for we are literal packages of goodies and shadow, both, that need love and care to unpack. We are hardwired for being a part of the deconstruction and reconstruction of the changes going on in this world, and as such, we must be grounded by doing this from the inside, first and most importantly. ❤

 

So, sweet “love sponge” souls, try to soak up some self love this weekend… if this area of life really is a struggle for you, you can try journaling with a part of you who holds on to this struggle and needs YOU very much right now. If you wish to, you can try the following questions in your journaling…

 

What does “money” mean to you?
What would being “financially stable” mean to you?
If you have some reactions to Leena’s writing about money and finances, what are they?

 

Let me know if you ever have the desire for a session to help you digest this and other areas of your very sacred life!

 

Lots of love to you, loved ones…

 

Kalayna

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

An Intro To The SoulFullHeart 7 Key Areas Of Life For Indigo, Crystal and Rainbow Souls Blog Series

by Kalayna Colibri

rainbow-children

In this writing today, I want to take you with me somewhere. Actually, I’d like to set my internal compass for that, with everything I write to you from now on. So this is the invitation: come on this journey with me. See what there is for you to feel into for yourself. Everything I say to you is grounded in my own experience and guidance. This is a personal thing for me and I want to share from this place in my heart that digests and feels everything happening in my own world and then, in turn and yet simultaneously, the world around me. Nothing that I say is “Bible” and everything is “near as I can tell”. That being said, do come with me and collaborate with me! Let’s grow these ideas and experience our own growth and consciousness expansion TOGETHER!

In SoulFullHeart, there are 7 areas of life that we hold to be key for our healing and understanding of ourselves. They are ways in which we can check up on what’s going on for us and how we are relating to life and even ascension. With each of the entries in this series, you may immediately feel a niggle or knowingness of some kind and some doorway into your most inner reality that maybe you haven’t quite gone to yet. Maybe you have actually explored these places before, as I did before meeting Jelelle and Raphael and starting my own SoulFullHeart process. If you can let me, my words, and my energy in, you will be letting in a huge gust of SoulFullHeart love and support for you to continue this exploration into the depths of yourself.

As we talk about ascension, this is where the work must always begin to be on this journey in the most grounded, thorough way possible – inside ourselves. If you follow my favourite show on gaia.com called Cosmic Disclosure, you will have heard Corey and David talk about this need to go inside and heal our hearts or our service to others won’t be as centered in the heart as is necessary right now. I can already feel that this is something so important to each of you taking this in… it was, is, and always has been for me too. This is why I engage so deeply in this work on myself, so that I, in turn, can serve you with love and serve love WITH you, too. What you are receiving now, is an infusion of the overflow of love coming straight from my heart, finding its way into yours. I know that it has often been hard to trust when someone says that they “love you”, especially being the sensitive, huge, inter-dimensional souls that you are, knowing full-well that sometimes we can say that to each other and not really mean it. It’s okay if that’s how you feel. Love is coming at you anyways, from me, from angels, from star beings, from Mother Gaia, and even from you and the love you are made of already.

The 7 key areas of life that I mentioned before, and that I will talk about in depth throughout this series, are: financial, environmental, social, mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical. I will offer you some words around each of them so that you can let in how we see and feel each area through the SoulFullHeart lens, and how I feel each area applies to you as an Indigo, Crystal, Rainbow, and/or Starseed soul. You might feel some overlap with other healing paths you’ve looked at or been on before, but you’ll also get something brand new out of the experience if you’re open to it. Actually, I suspect I will too, as this is something I’m digesting for my own healing as well. Each area can carry with it some intense challenges for us, as some of us have reincarnated many times, yet some may have not and could be brand new to life here with Mother Gaia. Some areas may also been easier for some of us than others, and we’ll have a look at that together too. As much and as often as possible, I will tie everything back into ascension, since that’s actually the main reason why all or most of us have chosen to incarnate here at this time. You’ll notice that as we ascend, there are different ways in which each area will express in our lives, and I will touch on that as well.

I am a teacher and guide yet I am also a student, and we are all big souls here, learning how to really step into our bigness and express our soul gifts from our ever-healing and expanding hearts. There are many, many places we can go together on this path, and I’m hoping to start some conversations with you who want to learn more but also with you who want to offer how it’s all been for you from your own perspective.

So, if you feel the desire, please keep an eye out for my next blogs in this series, and let’s travel inward, onward and upward together. ❤

If you’re curious to read more about me, you can visit my bio here.

You can also read more of my writing here.

Love,

Kalayna

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com