Entering The Loops Of Core Wounds

by Kalayna Colibri

core wounding

Core wounds play within us like looping lyrics to a song which you can’t remember what it’s called, but you really wish you could… it’s an unfolding mystery, wrapped in clues of layers of reaction and tears too as you make space for the parts that have been holding on to so much, for so long.

Sometimes these lyrical loops last for years and years, sometimes even lifetime within lifetime too. The same messages, the same patterns, are highlighted for us over and over again by parts within us – some that want to keep paving it over and some that want to be felt for the reasons why they’ve been holding this loop in place… and why they find it so hard to let it go.

It takes very specific life circumstances, a certain amount of love surrounding us and flowing within from us to us, for these loops to become more apparent, amplified, even to the point where you feel as if you are going completely crazy or that there really won’t ever be another side to the endless abyss of it all. This is often when we enter the darkest forest of our lives, the Dark Night, yet also the most brilliantly dawning Bright Day approaching. So many identity fragments coming apart at the seams, so much that has been buried deep within, now comes up and out, all held blessedly in Divine Love. These are the times when your closest possible relationship with the Divine can come in and be with you… when new awakenings arise, letting the purest frequencies of love in, so pure that the mind cannot track it, as it’s not something experienced in 3D life.

The bruises at the core of your heart… these are being touched now, as much as parts of you are ready to let in, even when they don’t think they’re all that ready to do so. Life finds a way to be a conduit for this healing, bringing you healing paths that could help you go into it, either by bringing the wounding more forward through taking in abuse from false or unhumbled healers, or by taking in pure love frequencies that can flow to you through the hearts of healers and leaders that are doing the same work they are leading you to do. Either way, there is an opportunity for deep empowerment and letting in of YOU, of the you that wants to birth into and through your heart, providing a balm for all that has been painful and hard within… the cycles of inner punishment, inner belittling, inner bullying, inner battles, that want to come to new conclusions or inconclusions, and a letting in of the wonder of life, the wonder of the world, the wonder of YOU.

Step by step, layer by layer, Divine invitation by Divine invitation, you can and will find your way in deeper… whether this completes for you in this life cycle or in another one to be realized. ❤


 

The work we do and offer in SoulFullHeart, reaches into these hard-to-feel and often hard-to-really-see places inside of us and inside of you. There is so much we can illuminate together through session space and other offerings as well. To learn more about the SoulFullHeart healing process and the 30 min free intro we offer, please visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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Energy Update: Collective And Personal Disclosure Process Underway Offering Important Mirror To Us All

By Jelelle Awen

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The disclosure process is underway. All of what seems like a BIG mess happening on the global stage, world events, and even weather patterns is all an important aspect of ascension. This disclosure process is happening on both the collective level (conscious and unconscious, awakening souls and NOT awakened yet) and the very personal, intimate level too. What has previously been hidden in any way becomes exposed as Gaia continues Her climb, transition, moving into New Earth, New And Improved Gaia-ness. Higher vibration frequencies and energies can’t cover over….they are like the sun seeking out the shadows. They shine their love light bright to illuminate what has been in the dark and reveal what has been shrouded.

So many awakening souls have been looking for signs of disclosure beginning. They have been waiting for the curtain of the 3D matrix ‘out there’ to be pulled back and the ‘real’ to be exposed and shown. Maybe you have claimed your role in this collective disclosure process too…as an advocate, truth teller, and waySHOWer. The corruption, manipulation, power games of the wounded masculine in both men and women have found roots of expression, serving as a mostly invisible ungirding for much of the 3D world. These roots are starting to be dug up now, names being named as the reigns of the false kings and queens and their empires start to fall, and those who were previously ‘kept’ quiet finding their voice.

The collective disclosure process has much to run out and through, many layers to reveal and heal. It will be a shocking and traumatic experience for those souls connected and attached to the 3D matrix as it begins to crumble, dissolve, and collapse in front of them. The ‘world’ that their 3D self has invested in will be declaring bankruptcy in the currencies that matter the most in New Earth: transparency, integrity, and authenticity. It feels unfortunately likely that some souls will leave their bodies, unable to handle and adjust to the shifts and changes. Some will go this way and perhaps they will be offered an alternative timeline and planet to play out the rest of the growth experience needed in 3D reality. I don’t get a sense of a definitive split happening here into two parts or bifurcation, as others have offered. It just feels like there are too many variables here with so many individual free will choices to be made by so many souls. The ultimate choices of love over fear in every moment lead to the highest timeline playouts is what I have been offered around this. ‘Highest timeline’ is both different for each of us AND unity consciousness draws us like magnets to each other to form soul family communities based on 5D or New Earth frequencies.

As collective disclosure happens, you can gauge your own inner disclosure off of it. What reactions come up in parts of you to what is exposed and revealed ‘out there’? What needs your compassion, and feeling of it? What has been formed in your shadow out of necessity that is difficult to see and be with, yet deserves your attention? Because we are ultimately ALL connected to each other, it may be surprising to you the reactions that come up in your emotional body to what happens collectively, even if you have known and been awakened to the 3D matrix for awhile. The disclosure process is MEANT to be both collective and personal. It is meant to shake UP and shake out. You might need to track the news (finding sources that work for you at an energetic level) so that you have some sense of what is happening as it offers a mirror for what is happening within you too. Many of us stopped connecting to ‘mainstream’ news as a necessary choice to unplug and to pull out of the false presentation there. However, now, mainstream is shifting into a transitional stream and some connection with it may serve you in feeling yourself and feeling others too.

Holding space for the inner reactions, feeling where they come from and why, seeking out support and guidance when needed….these things can help navigate the rumbles that come from your deepest inner grounds becoming exposed. As we become more porous and attuned to higher vibrational frequencies, we actually become much MORE sensitive to collective energies. This means we feel more compassion in a personal way related to what others are going through as we feel it more for ourselves at the same time. Feeling compassion at this level (beyond empathy….we need a new word for this) is a sort-of merging sense. Merging with other to feel what they are feeling WHILE still remaining an individual consciousness.

I have come to call this, ‘conscious duality’. I experience this deepening as I gain more access to my multidimensional, higher frequency aspects and their access to unity consciousness downloads to me…..and through many years of working with my emotional body through integration of my 3D self and 4D self aspects too such as Inner Protector, Inner Punisher, Inner Child, Soul Guardian, Metasoul/other lifetime aspects, etc. As I know myself at such deeper levels can I then FEEL and know others at these deeper levels. This is the process that we offer in SoulFullHeart through sessions and it offers deep healing, transformation and necessary navigational support through these intense times of disclosure. More information about a free intro session here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

We are meant to FEEL what is happening here with the disclosure process, especially as it relates to our own. There is so much opportunity for growth and learning in this, which is why we are here on Gaia…even as this can be difficult to remember for the parts of you that experience suffering to be here. Leaning into Divine support, we are invited to feel trust and surrender in the overall process that is happening and that it is ALL leading to the disclosure of what is real and for which ALL is actually made: Love.

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Inner Matriarch And Wounded Feminine Legacy

by Kalayna Colibri

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Messages of being a warrior, how to stand up to men… conditioning around fighting, especially for our equality, in a world that seems to want anything but. Over-expressing our sexuality in an unemotional or emotionally immature way, or choosing to deny its presence altogether… there is so much templating going on, so many living examples of how to become a matriarch – strong, unsentimental, yet very often unfeeling too. All of this is an expression of the pain and wounds inflicted by a patriarchal culture, yes, and it is all a reflection of how a part of each of us has chosen to be and act in reaction to it. As a collective, modern womanhood has successfully buried what it means to be soft and still, especially as the Inner Matriarch, who is often also the Inner Mother, typically has never been offered a sense of what healthy womanhood is or could be, and thus wants to believe that softness is weakness, the mind and body are ultimately what matter over the heart, and that femininity means building a self-image of femininity that is often depicted in ways that at the core, are actually another expression of the wounded masculine, but with a feminine face.

The Inner Matriarch forms inside of you, following your nearest feminine conditioning while growing up, passed down by your mother or another female caregiver. Even if the influence seems subtle, it is likely working inside of you in many ways, including how you express or choose not to express your sexuality, how you feel about your gender, how you feel about and relate to men and other women as well, and how you navigate many other aspects of your life too. The Inner Matriarch, in this way, is also the Inner Mother – a significant part of any woman, that carries within her the legacy of the matriarchal lineage in her birth family, often to a large degree.

It can be challenging when living out this conditioning, to even realize this is what’s happening. So many patterns are being relived by you that your mother and likely her mother before her also lived out… or, this part of you could be trying to deliberately choose to do the opposite, yet somehow, there is something still playing out that runs parallel to the matrilineal conditioning and grooming. It’s nearly impossible to feel what this legacy really has held for this part of you until you have taken the space necessary from your own birth mother in order to truly feel it. The Inner Matriarch that could be leading much of your decision-making and relating to self and others in your life as you have known it so far, will blend into the tapestry woven by the other women in influence in your birth family and sometimes also in your group of friends. This is why the advocacy for space and going inward is so invaluable.

The Inner Matriarch is often a way in which the pervasive patriarchal culture gets to live on… she has had to become the way she is in order to stand up to and survive in this environment, or so she has been so deeply conditioned to believe. It takes more than the  ‘inner strength’ of any female warrior archetype… it takes the strength of vulnerably feeling where the damage and hurt have been inflicted, bringing it back inward into your heart, and letting feeling waves in. It takes the courage to take the next step to even acknowledge this part of you, to feel and own the conditioning she has had and needed for so long, and to let in that something new could arise. The true feminine arising is a mystery wrapped in an enigma at times, with a soft touch that can also challenge and set boundaries as needed, without nastiness, pettiness or cruelty and without an all-out suppression of inner truth on the flipside of that.

There is a balance that can be lived into, where the rose of feminity can wrap around a healthy, vulnerable spine made of self-love and worth, coupled with a healing and humbled heart that now gets to lead the way… and this is what is offered as the Inner Mother and Matriarch gets felt and begins to heal from the long, long road she has been walking for so long, softening into the frequencies of a Sacred Queen. This is also what opens out the possibility of a nourishing Sacred Union romance with frequencies of heart, body and soul resonance that are nearly impossible to feel with the intensity of a wounded Inner Matriarch expressing predominantly in your life. There is much to go into and feel with her, yet it is all worth it as you begin to realize what your own version of the authentic and ever-arising feminine self is and could become as you move into more and more healing on all levels of your being. ❤

 


 

For more information about going into your own SoulFullHeart process and having space held for this part and other parts of you, please visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess. We would love to serve love with you on your own journey into your deepest healing possibilities and timelines…. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Releasing Deep Pain And Soul Trauma

By Jelelle Awen

Horse running

This is so touching to me……beautiful testimonial offered from Maria Douglas, who I worked with through SoulFullHeart sessions, about her experience and ongoing healing integration. It’s always an honor to serve love WITH a soul, no matter how long it lasts or how deep it goes. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions to read more about our process, sessions with Raphael, Gabriel, me, or Kalayna, and how we very uniquely respond to heart and soul healing/awakening/ascension. What aspects are inside of you waiting for your acknowledgement, connection, and love?

“Following some months of sessions with Jelelle, I can honestly say that some deep pain and soul trauma has been released. For many years I have suffered with the thoughts of not wanting to stay on this planet. Deep in the night I would battle with thoughts of what is the point of my being here and feeling like a failure on many levels particularly around relationships. I have kept this a secret for most of my life but through sharing with Jelelle in a session she was able to help me move through this by connecting me with my parts. I have felt that something deep has shifted for me with my inner protector/soul guardian. The deep pain and dark dialogue at night seems to have stopped.

What also contributed to this was deep connection with the help of Jelelle to one of my metasoul aspects, ‘Aryehsia’. This has been helping me to integrate her with my 3D self ‘Maria’. I was able to help Aryehsia come to a peaceful place by changing her timeline. She is a priestess and healer who was in a Temple community that was under the threat of destruction from patriarchy. Her sacred way of life was being threatened and she felt that her life was in danger.

‘I have sent Aryehsia to a beautiful cottage in the country side with another sister called Marisha and the horses and other animals to safety. By dawn they fled together. Telling the other sisters of the temple that they could follow if they wished to but now the time to flee to safety. Sun light was rising. Gone to a beautiful land now with mountains, forests, lakes and rivers. Orchards and stables and a sweet cottage. They lit a fire. To live off the land and be self sufficient. Free of fear. Protective white light placed around their sacred land so they cannot be touched by troubles. They are safe to be seen. No more secrecy. She is safe with her horse Persia. In love and safety forever, being the good, sweet souls that they are in peace. In peace always. I can visit again anytime. Love them so much sweet souls of mine’.

I have felt much more peace following the sessions. I have tried many spiritual teachings over many years but I can honestly say for me this has been the most powerful at my stage of ascension. Jelelle is a sweet, wise and caring spiritual teacher with such a capacity for love. I can’t thank the Soulfullheart Community enough for their support on my awakening journey which is forever in progress.”

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.

What Is Real Cannot Be Lost: Letting Go Of 3D Relationships During Awakening

By Jelelle Awen
Alone-on-a-Swing
Loss is an aspect of awakening. It is a consequence of awakening, of bringing in soul frequencies into your consciousness…of waking UP in new ways. Then, you are looking around your life with new eyes….seeing what fits your soul’s landscapes and what does not. You are feeling with new heart too what hurts and what feels enlivening.
 
Your criteria for what you want in your life in terms of relationships especially with family, friends, mates…. is rising as your higher self/soul consciousness reminds you of what you have known of unity consciousness. Convenience in relationships (and in life) is no longer enough….you are starting to want RESONANCE. You want to feel drawn, passionate, able to understand without words….just ‘get’ someone and them ‘get’ you. Convenience and safety is replaced by curiosity and desire for growth.
 
Without that soul values resonance, you feel the emptiness of what had replaced it in your relationships….often routine, ‘past’ connections and memories. These frequencies begin to feel like echoes of nourishment, of what could ONCE fill you up, and now feel too superficial or shallow to your awakening self. Your 3D self learns how to survive and even thrive on fumes of nourishment within relationships. You learn how to pretend crumbs are a full meal. Your Inner Protector forms protections, shield, defenses, and filters…all the armored gear that makes it possible to BE in 3D life.
 
As your 3D self opens up and enlightens UP and allows more actual feeling tones to be pushed up from your emotional body, the defenses lighten, the shields drop, and the armor melts away. Love creates a NEW criteria of wanting to be in relationships where less and less of this defense is even necessary and where you can be vulnerable, REAL, and transparent. Somehow, your soul kNOWS how to be this way even as your 3D self wasn’t trained or taught how to be. Your soul can help to hold the space for your 3D self to grow and change, to become emotionally mature, to eventually integrate into your higher self coming into your body.
 
Yet, as an important aspect of this new training, is the letting go by your 3D self of relationships that are based in the old frequencies of settling, shrinking, or conforming. Those that are about fitting into another else’s boxes or comfort zones in order for their 3D self to feel better. This means LOSS. This means upheaval. This means sometimes a terribly painful crucible of setting boundaries, advocating, and letting go if a resonant ground can’t be found. THIS aspect of spiritual awakening can bring such growth, especially for your 3D self, yet also it can be resisted hugely by it too.
 
What is REAL cannot really be lost. Those relationships that may wear the setting, stage, and place of 3D yet are actually based in soul frequencies will reveal themselves as such. They will ‘come along’ with you on your journey in beautifully surprising ways. I have experienced that myself with my daughter Raianna and my ex-husband Gabriel. We began in 3D relating and spent many years there, yet…in the now and for years, we have been on the awakening path together, sharing the SoulFullHeart process way of navigating it specifically, and finding ever arising new grounds of connection through this journey. I had to ‘let go’ of both of them for phases of time as they chose to be in 3D life and I was awakening into my soul purpose, gifts, and consciousness. I let go of relating with them, even as I felt great love for them. I waited with open heart and, eventually, they ‘came back’ with none of us feeling like we are compromising anything or shrinking or not being ourselves.
 
Trusting that what is real cannot be lost, even if it is gone from your life temporarily, allows for love to arise anew. Love for YOU becomes your primary focus. And those souls that join you in this focus form the new, nourishing relationships that may wear the same ‘skins’ yet energetically are very different….now in a place where love can flow between you with much less barrier, resistance, and blocks. Now in a place where love can BE the common ground between you and not anything less than that.
~
 
Jelelle Awen
We offer a free intro session to our SoulFullHeart process (offered through affordable weekly sessions with a facilitator) that supports you in navigating these very challenging grounds of relationship during awakening/ascension: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Be A Steward Of Love

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You have chosen to be a steward of great importance. What it is you are here to usher into consciousness is yours to bequeath and ours to behold. This stewardship starts off personal and evolves into the galactic. It can’t help but to do so if you follow its natural and arising course. This stewardship is one that is self-proclaiming and love-directed. You are the captain of your ship first and foremost. The passengers, the aspects and parts of you that you have picked up along the way, need your leadership and humbled sense of urgency to guide them into the new territory of your arising sacred humanity.  Outside of yourself, which is still arguably you too, are those that are meant to seek and follow your light and example. They are also your charges when the love from within is overflowing the bows of your inner decks.

This stewardship is a responsibility and an adventure both. A serious yet joy-filled exploration that seeks to find and integrate the long lost parts of your self spread throughout your emotional universe and star-filled multiverse. It is the single greatest purpose you have to offer the world. While Rome is burning in one timeline, you can be ushering in a new world that is centered in the Love that you have packed away in the hulls of your heart and soul. It is just awaiting your claim and sometimes difficult choices.

These choices are not meant to leave you in suffering. They are meant to pave the way into a greater expanse of ocean and air, both inside and out. If you don’t quite feel that expansiveness, or it waxes and wanes, you have your assignment right there in front of you. Take care of You. Feel those inner parts of your titanic heart. Connect with them and bring them aboard your UPward coarse. As each one begins to trust the Divine Heart within you, they can begin to shed the layers of the shroud that had them as good as dead. Transform that shroud to a cocoon and let the process of healing take root. From that alchemy shines a light of pure essence that lies within each one of them. They become the spark of light that fuels your ever lightening load that sends you farther into the mystic.

Use that glistening beacon to light the way for others to see and feel. Keep up the going IN so that it can go UP and OUT. The beginning is always the hardest. The most turbulent for there is a LOT to heal from in our 3D density. It is not a torture chamber but a birthing center. The pain gives way to infinite joy that provides the container to hold even more. So this stewardship is akin to birthing yourself and love into the world, where you are the mother and the child. The midwives are those that have been through the process and can hold space for this sacred delivery.

These are epic and glorious times you and I find ourselves in. We are not here by mistake and clearly by purpose. The events that are unfolding are calling us to go within and bring in the love that is so needed to turn this larger ship of our humanity around and back toward Divine Unity. Lean into the process, the turbulence, the birthing, and the service. It is all a part of what we chose to be a part of and couldn’t imagine doing anything else.

******

If you are feeling resonant with the steward-ship of SoulFullHeart and are curious how it may serve you in your birthing and expansion, check out our website and request a free 30 minute intro session to learn more.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The INpression Of Our Care-Givers: Feeling And Healing Our Inner Mother and Father

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by Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri

In the process of getting to “Know Thyself”, one actually finds the mirror you stare into splits into multiple lenses from which to truly see what makes you tick. You are many selves within the container of a more holistic integrated being. We live in the dimension of the “separate yet whole”. The minute you left Divine Source and popped out of the womb you landed in the field of “this and that” without totally being aware of it until you had enough time to be taught and to experience the depth of this perception of reality.

You landed in the arms of caregivers that you chose as a soul, to be reflectors of the world you landed in. They were the ones, or the one, that you were meant to learn from about yourself and life, for a particular phase of time until it was time to learn on your own. They are the single greatest imprint into our psyche and heart, next to community and society at large. The way they reacted or didn’t react to you, to themselves, and to the world established an emotive and mental ground inside of you that helped to form your own version of yourself.  Whether in rebellion against or in conforming to.  The relationship with and between each parent or caregiver created a pattern inside of you in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

Over time, this energetic relationship created a space inside of yourself that has informed many decisions in regards to so many aspects of your life.  It is an Inner Mother and Father that forms in your emotional body that carries so much data about your 3D Self and how it has found itself surviving and expressing in the world and in relationship. For women, it can express as a wounded and masculinized matriarch that is protecting the more still and sensitive Yin nature of her essence in order to survive in a still rather patriarchal world. For men, it is the expression of the controlling and aggressive patriarch or the suppression of the more vulnerable and tender parts of them.

Either way, it is a way to feel your own participation in playing out the wounded masculine picture of the world as it still largely is and has been. There is an entire lineage and legacy you carry within you, that doesn’t only begin with your birth family, as of course culture and country have influence too. Your parents learned from their parents and found their way however parts of them felt it was best for them and their own consciousness level. Choosing to feel yourself and how this lives within you by your own choice of whether or not to go into it and heal it, puts you in the seat of immense inner power to move beyond it and influence future generations to do the same.

This Inner Mother and Father can hold influence over many other aspects of your 3D Self, such as your Inner Teenager and Inner Child. They are our own versions of how we took in our caregivers. Beginning a relationship with them internally can lead to a vast new experience of ourselves that we never really knew we had, as we have been unconscious of it to the degree we needed to be in order to keep that relationship intact. If there is no external relationship to your parents, the internal still exists until it is felt as a separate part of you that can foster healing, integrating, and an unanchoring of the 3D Self into higher frequencies.  If there is still a external relationship, there may be a necessary phase of separation from them so that you can fully feel what it is that lies inside that is authentically you and what is the internal manifestation of them. Some parts of you may feel as if you are ‘abandoning’ your family/parents and that this is wrong and contemptible. Yet there is no absolute here or even a vow of ‘forever’ being out of contact with them. The space you take simply allows the truths of the relationship to arise and gives you what you need in order to feel yourself and your parts in who you have been and who you want to become.

Getting to know and feel your Inner Mother and Father will lead you to your own connection to your sovereignty of being that is no longer connected to those who ushered you into this 3D life. It will help to let go of the binds and grinds that have kept your 3D Self in the swirl of this deeply impressionable and sacred relationship. As you become a parent to your inner parents you gain a whole new perspective that integrates all the power and gifts they gave you and leave the rest behind on your growing journey into the lands of your healing heart and ascending soul. Plus, in the name of the exponential service of love, you get to become the new template, piece by piece and part by part, for how the new dance of the masculine and feminine gets to arise in this purging, healing, and shifting world.

****

Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman will each write more specifically about the Inner Mother and Father as it relates to the specific genders and how it has informed and affected their personal healing process and relationships. 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

It’s Ok Not To Be Ok

By Jelelle Awen
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It’s OK not to be OK….putting down the masks of OKness or being positive all the time. Being vulnerable to show what is really going in your heart. Sharing your tears, your fears, your concerns, your pain with those who can feel you. Being real with what parts of you are feeling and reacting to in every moment. This self permission space allows the feelings to BE, to be felt, and eventually to heal.
 
Why do we need to receive this self permission to feel? The 3D world operates on the suppression of vulnerable feeling. Analyzing feelings rather than actually dropping into the emotive ground of them. Numbing and drugging our feelings with ‘anti-feeling’ drugs…relating to our emotions as if we need to go into battle with them. As if they are diseases and illnesses that need a cure. As if they are evidence of our brokenness.
 
Your feelings offer a story, an important telling of what parts of you have experienced in 3D reality and what may remain emotionally undigested. They tell a soul story too…often from other lifetimes even, BIG emotional charge there sometimes, that is waiting for bridging and to be felt and held and responded to.
 
There is so much veil of social lack of acceptance around feeling ourselves and being REAL about what our feelings are. Even in spirituality, there can be so much focus on the light and the positive that transparency and integrity (that come from being REAL about what you are feeling) get lost and covered over. Abuses of self and others occur then in ‘spiritual circles’ with emotionally immature teachers perpetuating toxic cycles from using spiritual frequencies to cover over their own woundings.
 
It’s OK not to be OK…..if you had been told this, offered this in childhood rather than the 3D message of “Get over it. Don’t be so sensitive. Stop crying”…you could have naturally learned how to hold space for your feelings and the parts of you that feel them. Instead, parts of you learn to protect and defend your feelings. To turn the judgement of your feelings inward and develop a punishing energy (an Inner Punisher) that carries the message inside of your unworthiness.
 
Then, you are called eventually to become the loving and accepting parental energy (fueled by the Divine) that you probably did not have. Your pain calls you to this. Your pain offers where there still remain places inside that need your love.
 
The most amazing high frequencies of bliss and joy find MORE room is made for their arising when the deeper pains are being felt. When no feelings are being denied, there is no energy going toward suppression, no energy toward transcendence of feelings. Then, your heart space opens for yourself, for these parts of you that need you, and bliss can flood in again finding rich, grounded soil in your open heart.
 
Trusting the flows AND the ebbs, the natural cycles of closings and openings. The reasons that your tears exist, the reasons that your pains exist, and the mirror they are offering you OF you. The Divine WANTS you to feel yourself and all that calls your heart to respond to it. Divine love supports this process of not being OK, being real about it, and the dive in exploration of it too. The Divine wants the pains of the 3D experiment to be felt and moved as more of Its essence can be let in, which is actually your essence as Infinite Love returning to you as a felt reality the more and more you are willing to feel what is real.
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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.

How The 3D/4D/5D Self Experiences Love

by Kalayna Colibri

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Each dimension of our ‘self’ feels and experiences love in different ways. The many parts of us that have formed in order to navigate and be in life as we’ve known it so far, each have their own relationship to love. As we continue to awaken and heal, their perspectives shift and heal too, especially as the growing authentic you that holds and feels them, lets in more and more real, pure love and learns to trust it and what it wants to offer you in every sacred moment of your life.

The 3D self, says, “Love, I don’t trust you and I want to control you, though I also feel you get the better of me and we are constantly at odds. I feel like I will never get what I want, though sometimes I can’t even feel what I truly want… and am pretty afraid to find out. I don’t feel I deserve you in any form and I conspire to push you away. What I have known to be ‘love’ is not something I find very appealing or gratifying in any way.”

The 4D self, says, “Love, I want to trust you more and don’t always get how. I feel you offer more than I have ever thought or felt possible. I feel I want to serve you and be with you and flow more easily with you, though sometimes this feels so frustrating and hard too… this world I live in mostly seems not to have caught up to the reality of YOU yet and what YOU really offer all of us and beyond… I get somehow, or am starting to let in, that you are something very different than what I’ve been conditioned to think you are. I feel something different about you, though I’m not sure what that is exactly.”

The 5D ‘self’, says, “Love… this is what ‘I’ am. And as ‘I am’, ‘I’ serve love in constant, unending flow. The container is ‘me’ as the container is NOT ‘me’… the ‘me’ of before, that related to love as not my very substance, has been healing and tastes of higher dimensions where it all simply is in is-ness… this is REALity. Love is the only real. Life-giving, ever-flowing, always showing us the way inward and back out again. Love melts all ‘I’s’ into oblivion and heat-warmth, in the sweetest way, though the storms of love’s lightning flashes of where it cannot flow within must also be weathered. Love dies not, withers away not… only IS, only ever loves. ‘I’ trust love above all else. ‘I’ can hold the truth of this unendingly, without the need to transcend any doubts of this in parts of ‘me’ that remain in lower dimensional frequencies still. ‘I’ can’t always see the bigger picture, as ‘I’ also control none of it, but ‘I’ can feel it, hold it, tap into it. ‘I’ AM it, ultimately, as ‘I’ AM part of the love that makes up all aspects of it, dark and light…”

As you heal the parts that make up each of these ‘selves’ within you, the level and depth of love you are able to experience shifts in a big way. To actually feel and own that there is something very real about swinging between sometimes all three of these perspectives in a short period of time, is to humbly let in that there is more to go into, inside of yourself… and that there is no ‘perfect’ way to be with love or to be love itself, especially as we grow and learn as sacred humans arising.

To take in more about the 3D/4D/5D selves and how we hold and feel them in SoulFullHeart, you can take in this piece about how each ‘self’ relates to each area of life: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/3d4d5dselvesquestions

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Energy Update: Unanchoring From The 3D Matrix To Arise Into The Bliss Mess Of 4D

By Jelelle Awen

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I feel sometimes like I am looping…saying so much “these HIGH frequency energies right now are offering us…..” When I feel into an energy update to offer, this is what always comes…there are ongoingly high frequency energies of photonic light, the Schumann Resonance is rising higher and higher, ongoing solar flares coming in from our sun and the cosmic sun that just KEEP coming in. There are high frequency waves of PURE love too…they are golden, pure white, rainbow, whichever colors you are meant to see and feel and receive that is uniquely for your soul. You may feel the reception of these energies in all your bodies…emotional purgings and detoxes, physical manifestations, social shiftings too, and chakras morphing as well.

And, these energies are ongoing because, boy, do we NEED them right now! The grip on 3D life and the matrix that is created from mainstream consciousness can seem so strong, prevailing, with sllllllooooooowwwwww progress being made in loosening it. So many millions, perhaps billions, of souls still in the process of it, needing the 3D reality as their growth and learning ground….until they don’t anymore.

I feel there is a fourth dimensional (4D) matrix too….it is less solid perhaps, less structured, with less conscious purpose or collaboration. It is more likely created, arising, from the personal UPheaval that happens when the soul starts to wake up, the veil of amnesia is lifting, the higher self connection deepens, and the aspects of your multidimensional self/fractals from your Metasoul come into your consciousness. It is triggered by ‘peak experiences’ brought on by near death, drugs, soul mate clashes and goodness, kundalini and non-dual frequencies. Souls engaged in the valley of dark nights and peaks of light days all contribute to the creation of the fourth dimensional awakening bliss mess storm.

The 4D matrix (if we could call it that and at least in the definition that we offer in SoulFullHeart) has both firestorm energy and calming/balming energy too. It is back and forth, up and down, openings and closings….chaos and finding center BOTH, sometimes in the same moments. It is made of both fear and of love, with the modulating choice points toward each represented in every moment. With the 4D matrix being such a tumultuous experience, it makes sense that parts of us would want to remain anchored to 3D reality…to the known, the safe, and the comfortable even as it feels also flat, dead, and limiting to our awakening soul.

These energies of love and light, though, they want to pull the 3D anchors out that show themselves in guardedness, defensiveness, anxiety and tension, conflict, self punishment. We feel in SoulFullHeart that these anchors are represented by primary parts and energies that we’ve identified as the Inner Protector, Inner Punisher, Inner Teenager, and Inner Mother/Father (depending on gender.) These aspects can be quite dominant in a personality or less so, depending on what our conditioning has been and stages/phases of awakening. They definitely seem to operate at some level in all of us as we all have needed for our own survival to create them. We’ve created a process to identify, connect, and differentiate from these core 3D energies (that often get bypassed or tried to be with spiritual frequencies) that we offer through weekly sessions with a SFH facilitator. I’ll be sharing the map of the process outline soon….More here:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

The main frequency differences from 3D to 4D seem to have to do with the signatures of the soul coming into your awareness in 4D and that, ultimately, it WANTS to grow, change, and transform. It wants to see life differently and beyond what is offered by the 3D limited screening. It wants to be more than entertained and distracted and finding the next things to do as the 3D self is….it wants to go within, discover, BE, feel what is real, and let go of the anchors that densify reality. The 4D can be both the cocoon and the discarded carcass too….as the butterfly of YOU takes flight, finds wings, and experiences more and more the Infinite Love that you ARE.

 

 

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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.