The Deep Human Fear Of Intimacy

by Kalayna Solais

One of the deepest fears of humanity seems to be intimacy. Relationships that deepen. These relationships are not just romantic either, though that is one of the most challenging grounds in which to work this fear. This also includes beloved friends, colleagues, the Divine… and yourself.

How intimate are you with yourself or parts of you? How intimate do you feel you are with the Divine and with others around you?

3D conditioning has created a block, a defense against intimacy. It reminds our soul too much of Oneness and our decision to separate in order to experience life here and learn through it, grow because of it, and rejoin into Oneness when it’s time to do so. It brings us back to the love we once trusted that somehow 3D life has taught us either doesn’t exist or it takes too much work to earn it.

To be intimate, starting with ourselves, is our birthright and the journey we came here to inhabit. It is the wellspring of Self Love which overflows the love that then is shared with others.

To be intimate also means being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is also scary for parts of you because of your conditioning that it somehow isn’t ok to not be ok.

And… to be vulnerable means to make space to feel and share love. It doesn’t just mean sharing your pain, it means sharing your tears of joy too, your celebration of others and yourself, your gratitude for the Divine and Its ever-loving support.

To be truly intimate with Self and others really offers us all a deepening journey of feeling every line of defense within and every case made by parts of us to keep guarding those defenses and keep them in place. To actually go inward and feel the fears is the deepest gift to offer these parts as they trust your space-holding more. They and you begin to feel naked to your own truths and bake in these opportunities for rebirth.

To begin to open your heart again after all you’ve walked out in THIS life let alone other lives, is no small feat and uncovers no small fears along the way. Yet with every tear of pain or joy or relief or anguish undoes the lock to another layer of who you’ve been and had to be until now and who parts of you have had to become in order to preserve the precious depths within you and within themselves too.

It is a deep passion of mine and my beloveds to support your unlocking and unfolding of all of these pieces… sessions with any of us are available for you and we would love to serve you:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions ❤️

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Expanding Gap During Awakening

By Raphael Awen

As our consciousness expands and the veil lifts more and more for each of us, it’s important to feel the part of you who very understandably may be feeling overwhelmed by the expanding gap of where you perceive yourself to be in your everyday life and where you desire to be.

This gap between the two is said to be where all growth and even meaning comes from. It’s where we get our motivation from to reach for more. At root, it is love inviting us into more. Life is essentially about this gap.

But this gap can also be used by a part of us to self inflict judgments. Part(s) of us, it seems feel it necessary to slow this process of awakening by using self punishment for fear we won’t be able to bear it.

I felt several mental trajectories this week about how I was or wasn’t spending my time or money, what I was or wasn’t eating, about how present I was or wasn’t to the moment, etc. As I found space to feel the undertone of self judgment, I could so lovingly feel the part of me reaching for some handrails in the midst of this accelerated growth phase. I had sweet tears as I connected with this part of me and it’s reaction/digestion of so many recent changes going on in my life.

You and I are truly such amazing beings, beyond what we’ve ever dreamed, where even our wildest dreams and even convictions about more only begin to scratch the surface. If that’s true, then it really makes sense that there’s some ongoing inner negotiation and ambassadorship necessary to hold all this from blowing apart.

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/@joshuaearle

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Loving UP And Integrating Your ‘3D Self’

By Kalayna Solais

It’s a very real process, integrating and loving UP the ‘3D Self’… even if you feel like don’t have one anymore, sometimes the triggers are still there, the anchors back into defensive, charged, or even diffusive 3D frequencies sometimes still become activated, and all that means is that there is understandably still something there, some part(s) of you inside of you that need the love you’ve been downloading to reach them and help them ascend WITH you.

It’s become ‘normal’ for me to feel waves of activations and higher timeline shifts bring up what still needs to be felt and integrated. Sometimes a deeper reaction from a part of me stays hidden for a while beneath the bliss, yet eventually these parts have to surface. I find sometimes that a part of me has buried itself out of shame for still feeling the way it does about certain things, wanting to transmute itself without asking for me directly or asking to land its uncertainties and lingering pain in my heart. Yet my parts can’t actually stay in this place for too long. They leak out or jump out sometimes and if I don’t catch what’s going on, usually someone else who is close to me will and the mirror that I need will be offered.

Specifically for me, I’m talking about my latest process with a part that I’m feeling is the embodiment of my 3D Self right now. She goes by the name I went by for the majority of my life. I realized that she still holds so much pain about my/our physical body, our image, wanting to look a certain way and never feeling happy about it and actually very often feeling disempowered. She has held this energy for so many years. There’s an acute self-consciousness in her that I have to deeply feel and hold right now, especially as I embrace being a leader and a vulnerable one at that, and move forward with serving love. She needs the love I want to serve to land in her. There’s a cost if it doesn’t… if I don’t embrace and feel her, I’m incomplete in a way, and serving from a place of vacant self love in at least the physical regard, though I also suspect she holds pain about spiritual access, whether or not we truly have the skills needed to serve, etc.

I can only keep holding and honouring her deeply as I’ve been practicing with all of my parts for many years now. There’s no room in me to vilify or shame her for still being ‘here’ and not having completely integrated yet, though I get that another part of me has done this in moments or at least tried to help her stay buried instead of healed.

It feels like it’s so often the 3D Self that gets neglected when anyone pursues being a leader of any kind… especially when we’re talking about leading the way through Ascension and deep healing. But nothing has ever deeply transmuted or healed without love. Neglect begets more trauma and often some form of sabotage of the higher timeline too.

I feel this part’s edges and curves… I feel her loves and her strong dislikes…. I feel her reactions and together we are realizing where they’re coming from. Now we get to find our way through the forest together and help her move into something brand new that she has never deeply believed was possible.

The pathway to true Ascension is through the heart. The humility of the inner process that brings you home to yourself over and over again. This is what we’re here to remember and live into, honouring all that we are and have been as we live into who and what we are becoming every day. ❤️

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Seeing, Feeling, Healing The ‘Past’: Mother Mary Transmission

By Kalayna Colibri

This came through this morning as I connected with Mother Mary… a face of the Divine Mother that is key to helping us become love ambassadors to all parts of us and all beings around us. I felt this for myself, as a way to forgive what has been and move forward into more of what and who I want to be, and I felt to share it, because Mary offers so many beautiful frequencies of love and forgiveness that are so so needed now and always. ❤️

“To you, and all parts and Metasoul Aspects of you:

Starting from a young age in this very lifetime, you’ve only ever done the best you could with what you’ve been consciously and unconsciously taught by birth family, close friends, your pursuit of love and intimacy, and your pursuit of spiritual fulfillment, too.

You’ve been invited to fire-walk through the shadows, the challenging phases of figuring out what was theirs and what is actually yours in your heart and soul and BEing… a necessary and sacred process of death and rebirth, and sometimes a very painful one.

You are forgiven for all expressions of not-love you’ve had to walk out towards yourself and others in this process… beyond ‘forgiven’ actually, as you are infinitely and intimately loved by the Divine that holds you and is within you.

You’ve needed to push, to grapple, to tumble and fall. You’ve needed these messy times of awakening and realizing what you want and don’t want, sometimes without much explanation… sometimes hurting or maybe harming others in the process of feeling and finding your boundaries, or even in the holding on to relationships that are no longer resonant.

You’ve led yourself to this very place you are in now, and if this is not a place of deep fulfillment, you’re invited to feel this, to feel the discomfort, to feel the loneliness, to let all of this alchemize your next steps inward and outward. You’re invited, always, into your next steps, which are always leading you home: to the heart and soul that holds you, and the love that is always surrounding you.

Your next choices are arising now… they are small or they are big, yet the impact is the same. You can choose to feel and be felt, to arise and become real, and you can choose to feel and heal the past so you can live in your new present… the one that will always arise as you do, as you pursue it from inside, as you feel the seeds of what you most truly want being planted in the nourishing soil of feeling and healing.

With much love for you, your journey, and everything inside of you…

Mother Mary ~ “

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Support To Be Your Own Healer – SoulFullHeart Bridging Sessions: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Feb 4, 2019)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

This week’s featured article is from SoulFullHeart Teacher and Facilitator, Jelelle Awen. She brings in the frequencies that we offer to you in one-on-one Bridging Sessions, painting a picture of what it’s like to feel the support and self-empowerment that awakens within you as a desired result of these sessions:

“During 1:1 90 minute sessions over zoom, we set the stage for you with our experience and lived in relationship to the SoulFullHeart process. We support you to discover how it can help YOU to heal yourself. YOU connect to support systems that have always been there for you, such as Star Family and Divine guides, even if you haven’t always been conscious of them. We offer when it feels like a specific part/aspect is coming forward and then collaborate with you to discover that part and the traumatic scenes it may be stuck in/looping in OR timeline bleed through that is happening.”

Each session is 90min long and is a $55 USD minimum donation to book. More information can be found here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be facilitating an in-person group session on March 10th from 10:00am to 5:00pm PST

in Victoria for $111 CAD minimum donation. The group session offers resonant soul community, individual

process digestion space, and high vibration connections. For more info, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

The final three videos in Jelelle’s ‘Deepen’ series are available for you to take in. They include a light language activation, silent meditation, and digestions with all of the SoulFullHeart core community members of the entire series, their experience of it, and their invitations for you to feel and inhabit your next steps, which may include booking at least one 1:1 session with a Facilitator.

Many new articles for you to take in this week, including digestions of different ways in which you could experience your process of being with parts of you and the different themes that could emerge, plus a sweet engagement announcement from Gabriel and Kalayna!

Raphael, Jelelle, Gabriel, and Kalayna (Kalayna is available to serve women 25 and under) offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $55 USD minimum donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

The Bigger Picture For All ‘Soul Groups’ & Their Healing/Ascension Paths

by Kalayna Colibri

There is not one ‘soul group’ to arrive on this planet without a specific purpose and gifts that need to unfold and be discovered. It’s not a matter of one group (or in 3D terms, ‘generation’) being more necessary or gifted than another. Even the ones who came here to deeply inhabit 3D had a consciousness they signed up to become, even in the ways they may be accountable for causing much pollution and other issues on Gaia (something that it feels like Gaia was actually prepared for all along as a necessary phase of Her Ascension).

This is what’s true for any incarnated soul on Gaia during this and any phase… some are more connected to the here and now, some are visionaries for the future, and some are still moving through tension between ‘home’ or Star Family consciousness and the dominant consciousness on Gaia right now, and grounding that somehow into their lives and into the overall Ascension process. There are walls to bump up against and other levels of consciousness to consider and collaborate with too at times. There are obstacles to meet especially inside of us, as we reach down into the layers, barriers, and veils to our love essence inside and lovingly learn to be with them, love them, appreciate why they’ve been there and begin to transmute them into something NEW.

I for one have felt deeply challenged by trying to live in 3D for as long as I can remember. I’ve had trouble with my body weight off and on. I was born highly sensitive and intuitive into a family that could nurture that to the degree in which they were comfortable but then the ground ran out and my search for healing and realization of self, soul, and soul family continued to deepen from there. I learned to drive a car in my 20s, not in my teens, and I’m still not very ‘good’ at it. Parts of me could never stand the idea of a long-standing career that wasn’t spiritual, creative, or very helpful to others. Relationships of all kinds were challenging too, whether ‘spiritual’ or not. I’ve had layers and layers of self-punishment to feel with Inner Punisher, Inner Mother/Father, and Inner Protector parts of me around all of this as the messages kept coming in that I needed to find my way in all of these fronts, find a way to deal with being in 3D. Yet, even with that going on, my soul could never ‘forget’ its pull to something so much bigger and more multi-dimensional.

If you have also felt like this, no part of you is ‘wrong’ for feeling this way and knowing this about your ultimate purpose. Yet, we still have to navigate 3D in all areas of our lives until we just don’t anymore and the natural graduation happens. It’s been a challenging thing to learn how to feel empowered in 3D and even 4D realities on Gaia. Yet, without these platforms to ground into and press up against, the necessary healing and eventual Ascension beyond these frequencies could not be happening.

I’m with you on this journey. We are all learning. Being OK with this learning process is what’s most difficult for parts of us. Because it’s scary for them to live in a world, inner and outer, that they feel they have no control over and that seems sometimes to be offering them more pain than healing. The only way to begin to move beyond this suffering and see the beauty of all pitstops and triumphs of this ongoing Ascension journey is to continue to feel what’s real. To go into the reactions to find the real places of vulnerable fears and feelings underneath them. To realize that as difficult as being in 3D can feel to parts of us, it IS navigable and there IS help in many forms to move us into a more healed and healing relationship with it and with life itself.

My beloveds and I are so willing and desirous to hold space for your explorations into all of this and beyond on a personal level. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information on our space-holding offerings and where sessions with us could take you if you feel resonant with us.

Much, much love to you on your journey! ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

My SoulFullHeart Journey: INvitation To Feel & Heal Through This Work

By Kalayna Colibri

When I started to deeply feel parts of me back in 2012, I had that distinct feeling of awakening to something you can’t ever turn away from again. I suddenly had children, inner children, to take care of and take responsibility for. I suddenly wasn’t only the energy of a 20-something and could feel how there were so many other energies, both younger and older, inside of me that were breaking down my heart door in a clamor to be felt!

I quickly met my wounded Inner Child and Inner Teenager. I even met my Gatekeeper/Protector pretty much immediately, as this energy really needed the floor to be felt in all of its years of leading me and parts of me into the fray of ‘seeking’ and never fully finding or being found. This energy needed a ton of mirrors to be able to see it and feel it as separate from me. These mirrors were not always easy to look into… especially with being a ‘20-something’ who had just recently graduated university and shifted outer geographies and was still building a self-image as well as spiritual entrepreneurial ideas.

It’s been nearly 7 whole years since my journey into SoulFullHeart’s version of ‘parts work’ began for me and since then I have met with many different Metasoul aspects of me from other lifetimes, many galactic aspects from different star systems and so on, and many, many different parts of me. This journey was easy to take on, but not always easy to deepen and for different phases I needed to take ‘breaks’ from it, which served to actually help me integrate what I had moved, felt, begun to heal deeply.

Today I am honoured to facilitate this work, to help others open it out inside of themselves and guide them through the sometimes rather rough terrain of really choosing to feel and heal. I get to help others find and feel not only their wounds but their high-vibes too. I get to be a part of this journey alongside them and that is what I treasure!

I hope to see and feel you engage in your journey with this and with us, my beloveds and I, in our wonderful and awe-inspiring community… whether I get to facilitate you directly or just feel you in group sessions online or in person, I look forward to that. I look forward to feeling tears and joys with you and you with me.

For more on SoulFullHeart Healing and our beloved process, visit: soulfullheartwayoflife.com ❤️

Much, much love!

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energy Update: ‘Peak Fear’ Moves Into Love From Within

By Kalayna Colibri

Energy update: the New is here… as much as you’re ready to let it in. Yes, it’s exactly like that song by John Lennon that goes, “war is over IF you want it”… if the parts of you that are ready for the battles to end and the fighting to no longer be their primary filter of reality and relationships are ready to let something new in. A new sense of Love and how it infuses and moves through life without a need for sword and dagger.

It’s not so much a matter of asking us to “turn the other cheek”. As I receive this message this morning, I feel it more as an invitation to advocate for your boundaries as needed, even with charge if that’s real for you, but to be willing to feel the impact of your truth and the impact other’s truths have had on you. It’s an invitation to bring our truth with courage and vulnerability, both. And yes, they both can live in you without conflict, as long as the parts of you that have been hurt and even harmed get felt and are held by a growing YOU of heart, soul, and sacred spine too.

Any energy of being ‘against’ is being flushed up to be seen, heard and felt. Parts of you may be good at finding the next righteous battle to fight or protest to walk with. Anything ‘against’ brings in more of this energy and doesn’t actually break the cycle of harm and abuse. Being with the new reality where this is no longer needed doesn’t relieve us from feeling the cries of the world, yet, what are the cries of your inner world? How are these energies of abuse happening inside of you? Fighting them on the outside becomes a never ending war. If we are to evolve and ascend beyond war being a major focus of our human and also galactic consciousness, we have to start within.

This is absolutely a year to really bring everything inward and continue to work it all in your heart and soul. This invitation has always been here, but now that the time of peak fear is underway, perhaps this invitation will start to ring clearer for so many more of us and more consistently too. ‘Peak fear’ means we are at a huge potential turning point… and that the turn to love as the greatest, most important reality, is here and happening!

Much love… ❤️

~

Photo is of the sunset here in Victoria, BC last night. Taken by https://www.facebook.com/pg/ItkasanImages ❤️

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling In Every Moment Changes Your Life

By Kalayna Colibri

Sometimes there’s more to feel than there is to ‘do’. Actions born of your deepest feeling spaces are the ones most connected to your heart, parts, and self-care. They happen while you take yourself with you in all ways.

It feels so natural to me now to be in any situation in my life and be feeling my parts or Metasoul aspects while doing so. I love taking them all with me. It doesn’t feel crazy or weird to me anymore and it doesn’t feel overwhelming either. In fact, learning to feel myself in this way has helped so much with the overwhelm I used to feel in my daily life.

If you’re someone who identifies with anxiety or depression or anything like it, imagine a reality where you can feel these things as parts of you that need your love and attention. Imagine being in a social situation and feeling the activation of the social anxiety a part of you has, but not feeling like this anxiety IS you and instead is something you understand and are learning to love deeply. What if this anxiety comes because you’ve needed it, parts of you have needed it, as a reason to pull out of less-than-nourishing relationships, even for a brief time to collect yourself?

Having a deep consciousness and awareness of your emotional reality on a soul and heart level opens up whole new worlds of understanding your reality, why you’ve drawn what you’ve drawn, and how to start shifting it into health, balance, and more love within and outside of you too.

There’s an invitation and opportunity to dig in instead of accept what has always felt to simply be ‘true’ about you… and to give something brand new the chance to be birthed. Life and this ongoing Ascension process do not want the ailments, pain, and difficulty to endure or remain. Yet, it’s up to your sovereign choice whether or not you are ready to face and heal the trauma by feeling it deeply and giving it air and room to become something different.

My beloveds and I offer powerful and affordable space-holding if you’d like support to go into this: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Dive Into Feeling To Experience More Love

By Kalayna Colibri

When I think back to even my childhood this life, I have always found aliveness in feeling. In having emotions. In experiencing the container of life holding my ups and downs, ins and outs, waves of despair and waves of bliss. I have always been emotional.

What a gift it is, to have tools that help you go inward and support from Divine love to continue to do so. It’s in times of deep process yet also times of profound bliss (that truly come on the other side of deep process), when I most feel love and loved. Even with sobbing tears complete with wailing cries and runny nose, I feel loved. I feel held. I feel the growing container of me, held by the ever-expanding container of pure love, always accessible though not always easy to let in.

I’m sharing this today because there continues to be a need for an advocacy for feeling. Even if you end up feeling so much that you need a day in bed. Or a week on the couch. Or an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Love wants to move mountains in your life and simply can’t help you heal and change and flow aligned WITH it if the parts of you that most need you continue to be suppressed.

The machinations of this suppression come from other parts of you and these parts learned to live this way because of the company you keep and have kept, the culture you were born into, the choices you have made in all areas of your life. None of it is ‘wrong’… but all of it can be looked at and felt through with an open and curious heart.

The thrum of the message to ‘keep feeling’ runs wildly through our collective and the collective within you. Every Rubicon has another side to it. Every bridge can be built, even over vast feeling flows that have an intense momentum and feel as if you’re going to drown inside of them. Every single moment of feeling has value… and being in the moment today, actually means being willing to feel in every single moment, the uniqueness of your feelings, your parts, your soul aspects, and how they are processing or filtering life.

To actually begin deeply feeling, means to sign up for falling in love… with your own heart, soul, and parts. It means your life as you know it cannot stay the same (for long). It means you will be moved to higher heights and deeper depths than you’ve been able to imagine and a life you truly love living and ascending through!

Much love to all of you taking this into your heart today! I wish you all the love you can let in… and much more too. ❤️

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.