By Jillian Vriend

Our world has been about seeds and plants and now, it is about rocks. Round river rocks and jagged creekbed rocks. Rocks stacked in a wall to form the foundation of our first cob house. We are using cob (a combination of sand, clay, and straw) mortar, which is getting us used to the sensation of mud on our hands and feet (you mix the cob with your feet). I feel my inner child in glee; we get to play in mud for a good reason! The rocks seem to have personalities and I didn’t realize that they can talk just as plants do. They seem to tell me where they will fit in the rock puzzle. And they all seem to want to be part of it. We are building foundations which could remain for centuries to be discovered by generations in the future.

Life cycles are ending in our first garden by the river, which we call the ‘rio garden.’ The bean plants that are over three months old and have been giving us beans for a few weeks are starting to die and wilt. The tomatoes are wilting in the sun and the ones that the caterpillars don’t get are a welcome addition to salsas. Every time I harvest a bean pod I think of the plant’s will to live encompassed in the drying out pods. Each seed represents life even as the plant itself is dying.

As I talked about in this blog entry about death and rebirth, it is the season of the Dark Madonna or Kali. In this spring season, there is a feeling of anything can happen and if you’ve been running from change, it will find you. Kali offers a stark mirror for that which we’ve been avoiding or haven’t wanted to face in our own shadows. But, always, She offers a rebirth after the death into what is more real and less false. This can be a painful process, however, as parts of us attach to what is current and what we’ve become familiar with. It can be a very intense experience to let go of what we have known, even if it wasn’t making us happy or fulfilled.

For us, a big shift is happening in our personal world. It looks most likely that Kathleen will be moving on, probably staying local in the Puerto Vallarta area. Kathleen has been with us since the beginning of our arrival here in Mexico in October and off and on for over three years. Besides being a friend, she also has been engaging in our SoulFullHeart process since the beginning of its inception. The process for which she has come to the decision to leave and our process around it is quite vulnerable and raw still in the moment, so I feel to leave that for our private digestion. But, in her going, I can feel the death and rebirth cycle in a very intimate way. I’ve been through enough of them, usually by choice in the last several years as I’ve surrendered more to the Mother, to trust that whatever is lost or dies in this process will end up birthing me and others into a more authentic place. A place that we need to be. A place that ends up being the best one, even if it is hard to see that in the moment of loss and adjustment.

I feel even more how the ranch offers a hugely catalytic growth opportunity for those who desire it. Being unplugged from so many of the western world’s grids and immersed in nature the way we are here pushes up conditioning for us to feel and heal. I feel that anyone coming to stay here or visit here doesn’t remain unchanged. I certainly have been changed and continue to be, as have those around me have as well.

Please visit soulfullheart.com to learn more about no cost volunteer opportunities to engage in healing, organic gardening, and natural building at a sustainable 700 acre eco-ranch in Mexico.