Fear Not The Fear Knots: Feeling A New Legacy Of Love with Metatron


Taking time to just sit. Feel. Go in. Swirls of energy, in different forms.  Comingling.  Constriction. Expansion.  A pulsating and varied landscape of emotive technicolor luminescence.  Darker hues mixed in with lighter ones that give the appearance of the outer surface of Jupiter.  Knots swirl, drawn tight with thoughts of old.  Judgement. Powerlessness. Distrust. They offer a heightened contrast to the layers of translucent crystalline emitters that dawn higher frequencies of pure love and joy.  They offer a press in relation to the denser energies that still hold court in certain areas of my emotive terrain.

“Things ARE shifting…” a deep cavernous, yet melodic voice echoes into my heart ears.  It has been a while since I have connected with Metatron. “The patches you see are distant yet increasingly nearby rumbles of legacies across your soul’s infinite valleys and plateaus.  These legacies are echoes of your brothers in turmoil and tragedy. Remain in this place above the terrain and feel the love that surrounds these cells.  You can see the images from their storied NOW moments.  They are needing your ability to feel something different.  To merge with them is to do no service but to continue the legacy into your world, your goodness.  There is no wrong here, my son.  Just awareness. Bear your heart’s witness to the light between and around.  These are the majestic overtones of your greatness and vastness.  They are more powerful in nature than the fear knots.  Fear them not.  For they hold the stardust matter of universes undiscovered.

In your widened expanse you can see the work you have done.  The suffering you have processed and let go of.  The days a part of you didn’t feel like you would feel Joy above the waterline.  This IS your time, my son.  Your choice to feel beyond what you have imagined you could feel for yourself and others.  You bring a New Legacy of Love into the vast reaches of your soul’s tapestry should you chose to claim it. Feel it. Be it. Serve it. It will alter the course of your fractaled past and manifest the glory of your imagined future.

Be the Beacon of Light and Love across the span of your YOUniverse.  Let it shine in the hard to feel places and let that knot unwind. Unfurl. Uncover the essence of what you came here to BE in all it uncertainties to your conditioned mind.  I will be here with you, by you, in you, as you, when you need me to be.  You were never meant to do this alone for you cannot ever be alone in the infinite conglomeration of Love’s fantastical expression.  Take in that emotive portal of yours and revere it for all it has invited you into.  It is a true gift bestowed upon you and humanity alike.”

And with that His voice subsided, glided off into the recesses of my heartmind.  Left with a new awareness and awe for what we ARE and can BE.  Choosing a new legacy to enter our consciousness and beingness.  It may take some time to integrate but that is all part of the journey.  I can go back to this place whenever I choose and feel His voice and presence with me.  Bear witness to my emotional body and all its possibilities for where it can take me next into my Mystical Me.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Doorway To Our Bigness


By Raphael Awen

The path to our greatest greatness is through our smallest smallness. Our smallness isn’t the limitation on us inhabiting our bigness, but rather the doorway into our bigness.

In the same way, it is not our traumas and our wounding that limits us, but rather our traumas and our wounding are something that we as a soul being in our infinite bigness chose to take on as a path to our ever expanding largesse of being.

In seeing this, we see our wounds as time capsuled seeds of our essence that when planted and watered in the NOW arising open-hearted soil of self love and curiosity, these wounds and traumas spring up into a deeper essence than we could ever have before imagined.

All that is required is simply a willingness to feel what has been avoided and suppressed and follow our inner and outer guidance from there. All that we need will be provided.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Men’s Group Call – This Saturday

2Next Men's Call

By Raphael Awen

Because we live our lives inside of such deep conditioning from this life and other lifetimes, AND because we chose to enter the veil of amnesia, it feels to our local soul guardian aspects of ourselves that we almost tied both hands behind our backs at times in our goal to awaken and be re-membered to what we actually ARE and what we intended to inhabit in our current earth journey.

For many of us, we are left living lives that are strange pretzelated work-arounds for so many things that have not been felt that we simply couldn’t before access in our feeling, re-MEMBER-ing bodies.

Though this feels like a grim assessment, what if it couldn’t be more perfect? What if that is the way the higher intelligence that you ARE set it up as the way IN? What if you knew that it would be through feeling frustrated, behind and anxious to awaken that the fuel for the awakening path could come to you?

If any of this is true, and it feels like a bunch of it is true to me, then a process of remembering IS A PROCESS and THE PROCESS,… and FEELING it all one piece at a time IS the awakening… leading to new awarenesses, new choices, and new community.

And none of THAT can be done in a box, it’s done in life and in relationship!


Here’s the details on the upcoming Men’s Group Call

Join Gabriel Heartman and myself on June 10 for the 2 hour SoulFullHeart Group Call for Men. The event details are here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1529253583760067/

After receiving your minimum donation of $11.00 USD, we send you the link for the Zoom Room virtual meeting. The PayPal link is here: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart

(Choose ‘USD’ over the presented ‘MXN’ in the dropdown list of currencies. Also, you can chose English at the bottom right corner of the PayPal page)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Solving The Mystery Of The YOU-niverse


By Raphael Awen

When you look at the mystery of the universe, it takes you right up to the mystery of YOU, as the Universe IS the YOU-niverse… and just when you think you may be making some headway into describing the mystery or even solving the mystery, as you are beholding its beauty and magic, the universe and you explode into a deeper mystery still…. leaving you in awe and reverence.

It seems though that we are truly afraid of this awe and reverence even as we may consciously also feel we crave these expanded moments. Our 3D selves continuously and effectively normalize all incoming magic and wonder in our lives to make it into a ‘ho-hum, nothing to see here’ kind of experience. Even our 3D experience of life is itself pure magic and wonder!

Our 3D selves fear us being carried away by something it can’t relate to or feel. Finding and feeling the parts of yourself that only know a 3D relationship to life, where the you who is showing up to feel them is your arising healthy Authentic Self, IS the traction ground where you are now ‘solving’ the mystery of the YOU-niverse. Granted, the mystery will only deepen as you do, but the payoff is that you get to the place where the NEW REALITY as it lives in you, and as you know it inside of you, becomes your MIND ALTERING SUBSTANCE.

What reality are you presently creating? Are you willing to look at it deeply and take responsibility for it? Are you willing to explore into the farthest reaches of your own inner kingdom? It’s what you came here to do and be!

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Open Your Heart To Feeling

By Jelelle Awen



Open your heart to feel the pains there, the fear there, the tears there. FEELing this, letting it BE, holding yourself and parts of you in the mourning, the letting go. Over and over, I invite this and in my sessions it comes back to this so often too with every woman that I hold space for. It is really a space being held for feeling, for reconnection with the emotional body while bridging to the soul. A self permission I reflect back to feel, to allow the TRUTH of your emotional reality to come up, to hold space for yourself and parts of you to FEEL.

Why does this self permission to FEEL need to be offered over and over? Our 3D conditioning is to suppress, to numb, to cover over, to protect, to guard, to settle, to repress. Energies form inside of you to block the natural and organic arising of your emotions because it is judged as TOO MUCH. So it is judged by your culture, by your birth families….your sensitivity is too much, your emotionality is too much, your heart breaking sense of life is too much.

Yet, actually, is it JUST RIGHT. That sensitivity is your heart porosity and your capacity to LOVE. And, as it heals from being allowed to be and flow, so it floods out more and more from healthy compassion, empathy, service with others. You can then feel what others are feeling while they are feeling it because YOU have embodied this WITH yourself and your own parts over and over.

Open your heart to feel the pains and the joy can come into the space that is made. Vulnerability can come into the space that is made. Love can come into the space that is made. And love can be the FEELING that flows most in most moments.


Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

A Part Of Me

part of me

By Raphael Awen

A bigger than usual personal piece for me the past few days, even to the point of choosing to not attend yesterday’s scheduled group call of ours, opened out. I felt to share a window of it, even as i’m still feeling a bit wobbly on some new-found legs, around it all.

A few days ago, I felt an energy in me frustrated with the pace of things ‘Why can’t spiritual growth be more instant? Why does it seem so foggy to truly remember who and what we really are? And when we do remember, why does it take so much process?’ I was also curious to have more of a visceral sense of my star-being self, (of who I am outside of this incarnation) as Jelelle and Kalayna have had open out for themselves recently. I felt a different tone to all of these energies and decided to journal with the voice of it that evening. A name came immediately as I did: ‘Rhodes’ which I later learned means ‘opening in the forest’ or ‘rose arden’. Rhodes told me that he was entrusted with keeping the veil of forgetfulness in place to make the whole earth-life thing doable. As I corresponded with him, negotiating with him to allow for a relaxation of this role of his in my life, he softened considerably and told me that I would feel an immediate shift and that I needed to be ready for it, as it can be quite destabilizing he told me. I was surprised by the sense of how much business we conducted in a short single journal session, but felt tired and that I needed to rest to hold what was coming.

That night, I had a dream where some men were sheeting a ceiling on a construction renovation project and it was clumsy as the house was unlevel and off square. A much more experienced guy walked in and offered that backing up and undoing the sheeting, correcting the settling first and starting over would be quite easy and much more effective in the long run. I took from that the guidance to be willing to let go of some ‘progress’ as well as some obvious struggle. Many times deconstruction is necessary in order to construct the life we really want. The valid thing we built before doesn’t fit where we want and need to go now.

The next morning, I had scheduled to take our dog Koda into the groomers for a much needed haircut and relief for the hot season. Between the language barrier and my desire to go through with this, and Koda’s protectiveness, I was left with having to leave him for the day, him maybe having to get a needle to sedate him as he can be bitey to strangers and especially groomers that don’t feel him. The clerk offered me a kennel to put him in and when I did, he resisted and I reassured him after feeling if this is what I should really do or not, and had to force him into the kennel. I then left, with Koda barking like crazy and me feeling quite uneasy about what was supposed to be a couple hour deal now stretching out into an all day affair with Koda having to be taken off site to some special groomers who can handle dogs who may bite. I had planned to hang out up town, but felt so uncomfortable for Koda that I went directly home thinking that Jelelle was going to say ‘You did what? OMG, we have to go and pick him up!’ Turns out Jelelle didn’t feel any of that and felt a trust about it all that I (and part of me) then rested into.

This then brought up the question about ‘why the big reaction in me?’. As I felt it, I was immediately brought back to feeling a visceral sense of moments in my life when I felt forced into a new context that I didn’t feel ready for, and into the pain of incarnation itself. I also recalled my early boyhood years with a dear friend that we used to play for hours alone together out in the woods in northern British Columbia. I recently learned that this area of Canada is known for considerable UFO activity, and I have been feeling into if my friend and I, and my fond memories are actually about a deeper connection with star-beings that were then obviously wiped from our memories. It only took a few moments of letting in all these feelings and i was immediately in tears. Jelelle of course supported me to go into the feelings. I took to my bed to weep out some of the most guttural tears I have ever had. The feelings ranged from anger at the necessary amnesia needed for our human earth-life journey, to realizing that I chose this, to feeling an overwhelming sense of love for the me who was forced into the many ‘kennels’ of human life. Later that evening, I was feeling into what this ‘Rhodes’ part of me was protecting so faithfully and I could feel the visceral sense of my star-being self. I happened to be corresponding with a man named ‘Andy’ that evening on facebook and I recalled how much I’ve always loved that name as ‘Andrew’ means ‘man,’ and it just felt right to call this emerging young part of me ‘Andy’ and see him as my star-being self.

So who’d have guessed that a trip to the dog groomer could bring up so much?! I of course recalled the familiarity of life circumstance coinciding with process and knew that none of this was random. Koda did make it home that evening, and although evidently he had been through alot, he was glad to be home, (although almost completely shaved, almost to the point of being unrecognizable, thanks again to the language barrier).

The next morning, (yesterday), was our scheduled group call and though I felt raw, I felt I could show up for the call as I’ve done lots of life while in process and feeling raw and have been shown how magical it can be to hold an emerging part of myself and take it into life with me as I do. As I lay in bed though and felt Andy, I felt how he didn’t want to show up for anyone, like doing the call would be stuffing him into the kennel. I was able to feel in all of my focus on service this life, particularly around showing up for public speaking, there has been a layer of self-consciousness that another part of me (Rhodes) has had to manage and suppress to keep things intact. This has left a layer of performing and unnaturalness with my service to others (though Jelelle assures me, it’s quite small) that when feeling Andy’s discomfort around people, feels quite big. Jelelle and Gabriel and Kalayna were more than equipped to do the call without me and I suspected there would be some corresponding reason for me not to be there as I chose to take Andy out on a wonder walk through town. (star-beings love to do that with you holding them)

Before heading out with Andy, I had to tend to Koda who had bouts of diarrhea and spitting up all night, feeling more of the trauma that he (and Andy) had both been put through, each on their respective timelines. As I was waiting for Koda to do his business, I looked up at the hillside and for the first time ever in our neighbourhood, I looked up at a mexican pheasant in flight heading our way as it flew into a nearby branch, lodged there a while and then flew again right across our field of vision putting on a little show for us with all of it’s beautiful colors. I knew it was a message and felt the love in it, but decided to google ‘pheasant animal totem’ to see what else might be there. I read about their magical power of attractiveness and pursuing what they want AND that they also know when to pull away and take respite for themselves. Okay, then, another message to pull away and be with myself (myselves).

I’m feeling, as i mentioned on some wobbly, but new legs in the world, feeling a very real aspect of myself, birthed out of the ‘amneasic sac’ of forgetfulness into being re-membered back into my conscious awareness. There’s a lot more to integrate it feels like, but I wanted to share this update as both Andy and Rhodes seem okay with me doing so as they both feel a new me here to hold them.

Turns out the group call went AMAZING without me, or maybe more like ‘with me being right where I was meant to be’.

Okay, back to digesting, …more pieces to put together…Thank you for feeling this with me, and may it give you a window into the magic of feeling your own parts.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.


Healthy Spaceholding



By Raphael Awen

I’m meeting with a new person later this morning for the first time. (a ‘facilitant’, as we call them in SoulFullHeart, as ‘client’ is too business sounding and ‘patient’ is way too broken sounding) I’m feeling how I know little about this man who’s asked and paid for a session, and there’s a mixture of feelings going for me, as I’m sure there must be for him.

It feels like our Higher Selves are having a pre-meeting sorting through where we can and will go together later today. Then there’s our conscious selves who will be entering the dedicated space later who are also sorting through some things. As I tune in my guides, and feel myself, and open my heart, I feel them reassuring me that it’s a lot like wooing a woman, to find your mutual ‘heart, soul and body talk’ dance together, something you can’t pre-plan, but only flow with and respond to with desire leading. Ahh, that always helps to feel.

Serving someone in this way is really an authorization by the person to serve them. I claim an ability and gifts and an open heart, but that only gets the opportunity to happen with the person I’m serving to the degree and on the terms and pace that they authorize me to be that for them. One of the key things on my mind going into a session is looking for some kind of indication to the question, ‘So, how can I help you?’ While it may sound a little business like, it’s actually a key grounding piece to finding our way together in a spaceholding relationship. Sometimes people are drawn to our energy, even to the point of paying for a session, but don’t have a deeper conscious need that is leading for them. This then narrows the ground of where we can go together, or puts an unfair pressure on the spaceholder to be something more for the person than is natural or even healthy for the spaceholding relationship. The spaceholder can only serve, healthily at least, with the facilitants’ need and desire leading.

When there is a presenting need that is leading, it creates a natural direction and grist for a way into deeper process together.

In my own experience of having a spaceholder for my own emotional body awakening process over 3 years, meeting twice a month, I was served by 4 different facilitators who were part of a community and paradigm that were part and parcel of the awakening, 2 of which were women, one of whom was Jelelle 🙂 .There were deep things I wanted to open out and let into my life and decondition from. I knew for me it was more about the things that didn’t appear to need fixing in my life that were the very things that I wanted to experience freedom from. I recall over this 3 year treasured experience, it wasn’t so much about the spaceholder being any kind of super magician, (though their open heart was truly magical in another way), it was also about the paradigm of the healing offering itself and the reflection of that in community that was just as much the juice that created the movements for me, week after week, month after month.

So meeting with a new facilitant for me is like a date to feel what the attraction, juice grist is between us to find a deepening into a new way of life for the facilitant as much as it is about helping the person find relief or healing in the moment. Ultimately, in SoulFullHeart, we feel the process is the healing and the process gets the results, and facilitators and facilitants simply work the process, albeit in a magical and heart open ‘arising’ kind of way.

A huge part of the SoulFullHeart process and something we offer in all of our writings and video offerings, which hopefully a potential facilitant has felt into before contacting us is how we heal and awaken through getting to know and feel parts of ourselves. This ground is so key to the movements SoulFullHeart can offer to people, that also so releases the facilitator and facilitant from the pressure of ‘fixing’ anything broken. Nothing needs fixing. All things move on the ground of feeling. Our current ways of relating to life are held as energies by parts of ourselves and all they need to make huge shifts and changes is to be felt and experienced by a heart open ‘other’. This ‘other’ is your growing feeling you, differentiated through the parts work illumination process, whom the facilitator only templates for a time, giving you back to you, one session at a time.

Which is another cool thing! The whole process is a ‘pay as you go’ and I would say also a ‘validate as you go’ process leaving the facilitants’ autonomy fully intact from start to finish, as is so necessary in any kind of a healthy deconstruction process. Power can never be taken, but only surrendered, and then only as it is an act of the powerful sovereign self choosing the surrender.

Okay, time now to pause and get ready a bit more for an exciting session ahead. I’d love to hear from you if our process calls to you and to where life is leading you. It truly is magical and finds its own way when you are ready for it.

More about session is here: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.


Fractals Of The Divine



By Raphael Awen

Until we show up as an Aware Self, or our Authentic Self, to feel what a part of us is feeling AS it is feeling it, we are ‘fused’ with this part of us, and there is no space for feeling to flow. Feeling is more of a transmission between 2 or more parts of us, rather than what we see as a feeling ‘state’ of a singular self.

In the same way that we are fractals of the Divine, and that all Divinity can be found in any of its parts, so are our subpersonalities or parts of us fractals of us, or fractals of our Higher Selves. The Divine is not a singular entity, but rather an ever multiplying reality in an infinite reality and infinite love picture. If you are ‘having a bad day’, the Divine is feeling you and itself ‘having a bad day’ through you. If you bring your awareness to the Divine’s feeling of you, you make this real and tears of reunion flow. Until you bring your awareness to the love flow of the river between you and the Divine, you are ‘fused’ as a single and separate self. But when you see and feel your essence as a fractal of the Divine, you allow and create flow.

A single self cannot offer the feeling dance of duality to itself. It can only long for the imprint and presence of an ‘other’ to ‘transact’ love with. None of us are in fact any ‘single’ so called ‘self’, but instead a tapestry and diversity of parts with very different needs, desires, ages, orientations and reactions to life. Simply letting this picture into your awareness causes relief and resonance to flow. The only true ‘personality disorder’ is the one that sees and feels itself as an isolated singularity when in fact, we are all many. The single self is the fused self that must go external to find ‘other’, whether in human form or Divine form, to create any flow for everything it needs.

When you begin to feel yourself as a tapestry of parts and begin to differentiate the parts that make up your ‘you stream’, you feel the part of you that is so hungry for love contrasted with the part of you that actively resists love; you feel the part of you that wants to strike out in adventure contrasted with the part of you that is afraid of leaving home. When such polarities live in you ‘unfelt’, what we call ‘you’ comes across as some controlled flat-lined muddle in the middle. However, when you begin to feel these parts of you as they are inside of you; distinct beings and aspects of your BEing; each holding different aspects of your wounding and your healing; your conditioned anchors to ascension and your soul gifts that can soar; now, you open out to movement. Movement is what you came here for in the differentiated world of duality dancing and expressing.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.


While There Are Only A Few Seeds In An Apple, There Are An INFINITE Number Of Apples In A Seed!


By Raphael Awen

How we relate to money is one of the biggest limitations to our emotional and spiritual awakening, and healing process. It seems money holds some of our densest limiting convictions about reality. Sayings like ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’ and ‘Don’t quit your day job’ abound as if they hold deep truths at some fundamental level in life that you must live within, or perish. This is living from the picture of the limited number of seeds in the apple.

How we relate to money however can also be one of our greatest awakenings as we recognize it for the deep grist of our journey into wholeness that it can be. If the universe is a universe of Infinite Love and if money is simply LOVE IN MOTION, then there is actually no shortage of what we call money. Not only is there no shortage of money, but there is such an indescribable superabundance of money that we need a new digestive system in order to let in that abundance. This is living from the picture of the infinite number of apples in a single seed.

Feel the part of you who holds deep conditioning around the programming of lack. Feel the part of you who lives in fear of never getting free from the tyranny of lack, and never being free to offer and live from your deepest soul gifts that you have to give the world. Let these fears be transmuted in a process of feeling and healing your way to new ways of relating to money (love) for the growth ground that it wants to be. Money may now move from being one of your greatest limitations to one of your greatest liberations.

Listen here for a recent Group Call offering a ‘profoundly different than anything you’ve ever imagined before’ picture of a SoulFullHeart way of relating to money: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSevFxW6dpU&t=1s


Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling What Is Real On Mother’s Day

By Jelelle Awen


Mother’s day….this one can be sticky, as relationships with mothers are. Sticky as in connecting into a sense of duty and obligation, a 3D conditioning picture that activates the 3D self inside you to ‘show up for mom’, often at the expense of what you authentically want. And even if you want to celebrate your birth mother today, the questions you could ask are, “What is my emotional truth about my relationship with my mother?” “What do I (and parts of me) really FEEL about being with her?” “Is it a part of me which is ‘doing’ the role of son or daughter?” “Does my spirituality and my truths about reality get put aside when I spend time with my mom and how does this make me feel?”

Even if you consciously feel that your relationship with your mother is a good and healthy one, I offer that unless you BOTH have done personal healing work plus awakening soul frequencies to connect around, healing the karmic frequencies of your soul legacy together…..it is a bond that is mostly based on lower frequencies, codependence, usually buried deep in the subconscious and emotional body. To be REAL about this relationship and how it has impacted you is the start of awakening beyond it.

For women who are desiring to embody their sacred femininity, deconditioning from the templating of their birth mothers is KEY to the process. Deconditioning looks like feeling inside yourself how her templating around what it means to be a woman (which she inherited from HER mother and so on) LIVES inside of you and influences you. Also, feeling the ‘ideas’ that she has modeled to you or said to you or energized to you about femininity. Connecting to your inner mother as a part of you can be VERY illuminating as well, as you separate her frequencies so your more authentic essence can arise.

For men, the way that they currently relate to women and within relationships can hugely be connected to their relationships with their birth mother. This can play out in parts that are pushing away from ‘the source that they came out of’ and esp. if they have an overly dominating or invasive mother. OR a part playing the role of ‘good son’ or ‘dutiful son’.

On Mother’s Day, I feel appreciation for the crucible of growth and reflection of my shadow side (and some leading edge sides although not much) that my birth mother offered to me. It has been my healthiest and highest choice not to be in relationship with her for several years as we went on different paths around emotional body healing and soul awakening (which I chose deeply, following my soul purpose here.) I feel love for her on the soul level and can connect there with her higher self in moments even as we are not in relationship here.

I feel appreciation mostly though for myself and my commitment to HEAL what was wounded and harmed (all my choice on a soul level) by the dysfunction and toxicity represented in this relationship. I became mother to all parts of me who so needed nurturing and support and comfort and so was able to hold space for my own healing. I held my inner child especially around this, until her wounded and hurt frequencies transmuted into magical 4D and eventually 5D crystal light energies.

My gratitude and appreciation also goes toward the Divine Mother and all the frequencies for which She offers Her heart and comfort to heal these woundings within us around these relationships. It has been the Divine Feminine that has provided and templated for me what it means to be a sacred feminine woman here during this intense time of transition and invitation into our sacred humanity. And it is to Her for which my deepest sense of daughter extends.

I’ll be teaching more about this, connecting this process with the work I (and Kalayna Colibri for women under 30) offer to women during SoulFullHeart sessions, leading a guided meditation during a woman’s call this Saturday, May 20th if you’d like to join your heart’s intention with ours:https://www.facebook.com/events/1083484598423538/


Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.