Relation-ships – Me, You and Us

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/@kevindelvecchio

By Raphael Awen

Every relationship that we enter, that we chose to remain inside of or that we choose to leave, has powerful effects on our souls healing journey.

Yesterday, I met with my sister, Brenda, after not having almost any contact for the past ten years. It was meaningful for a part of me to receive a mini update on my mother, two other siblings, my former wife, two daughters, nieces and nephews and even my own grandchildren whom I haven’t met, as well as more distant family.

In 2009, I chose to largely break off contact with family. I always felt and still do feel that what I was saying no to, was to meet inside of family gatherings where my own changing views of life, and particularly my leaving of Christianity were not welcome as part of the conversation. I also couldn’t expect any of them to be okay with any kind of demand on my part for them to be curious and genuinely interested. What moved for me recently was a desire to be accountable for any hurt I caused in my abrupt departure from family.

I came away from our coffee shop reunion feeling quite a bit of mixed emotions. I had an expanded sense of how all of us in this human experience gravitate to or away from relationships has so much to do with a deep wound we carry inside, mostly subconsciously of our feelings of having lost connection with the Divine, how we were birthed out of a bliss oneness place into individuated consciousness that leaves us with a deep residual separation inside and outside that we are left to integrate. This feels to me like the true hero’s journey, coming back into remembrance of our true essence, that we never actually left or lost any of our divine essence, but rather were given the perception of loss, as a deep wound, that when and as we heal from that wound, we grow into even more than we were in our original state of bliss and oneness.

On a more human level, I felt how ten years had gone by with my family, and how it was hard to see from my perspective where much in terms of growth had changed emotionally or spiritually. I know that’s a judgment on my part, but one I can’t deny. While in connection with family, I was constantly tugging on them to see beyond what I felt were limitations on growth. Even while inside of Christianity, I was constantly jumping camps and switching loyalties all in an effort to break out of something and to break into something more that my soul knew was there. I grew tired of that tugging and so did they, understandably. I get how each of us has a different clock speed setting for our growth, but yet, I believe that this too is something we can consciously shift if we desire to. We awaken to how much parts of us are allowing or disallowing in terms of our growth. We are not victims of fate, or of the Divine, but rather, parts of use the perceptions of victimhood, to govern the pace of our growth.

It was difficult to chose to leave the family circle, to face some of their angsts, to engage or not to engage in communication. I knew I needed and deeply wanted community in my life and I still know that. Community, at heart, I’ve been learning has to do with our kindness, acknowledging that despite our very real differences, that we are still of the same kind. Both are true. We are one, yet we are individual. We have resonance and we have dissonance in relationships. We came here to have that juice.

I am left with a deeper digestion that the relationships we keep and how we keep them is something profoundly sacred for each individual. Some relationships are given to us for the growth we will encounter in leaving them. Ultimately, every relationship we enter, we will leave on this earthly plane. Knowing and feeling that, we are invited to be present in the present with the present of what we have now – to hold it with reverence for the Divine in all of us. This is why we have funerals, a place to return to feeling for the reverence of all of life. We enter the feeling of death to more fully enter the feeling of life.

Deep profound deaths and rebirths are something that we can enter here in the course of our lives, without needing to wait for us to leave the body. I recently went through the most heart rending completion of my relationship with Jelelle, where we ‘broke up’ and have since magically found our way back to the deepest of reopenings, where the magnitude of the pain of loss only compares to the magnitude of joy on the other side. Losing my relationship with Jelelle also seemed inextricably intertwined with the losing of my beloved SoulFullHeart community that has been my family for the past ten years. It felt like history repeating itself all over again. I could also feel Metasoul aspects of mine who know the pattern of excommunication and we’re still stuck in their suffering loops and reactions around those dramas. Feeling these Metasoul aspects and helping them shift felt like it gave me a big gift in this dimension to go to my next places of growth.

I feel how we are all being invited, when we find our heart breaking, to let it break open, to parts of ourselves, to the Divine, and to one another – not with duty and obligation to old caretaking ways of being, but with love, transparency and our deepest desires leading the way.

This is the journey we signed up for; gain and loss; joy and sorrow, even the inevitable of hurting others and being hurt.

We return to our divinity as we return to our humanity only to find there is no difference.

I also see how we, at a deep soul level, don’t actually leave any relationship even if we break off contact or interaction. Our souls are so much bigger than what is or isn’t currently happening on the earth plane, conducting business for our growth regardless of how much of it we can see or feel, or from what paradigm we are consciously coming from.

Much love to each of you in the one family that we all are!

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

I am so delighted to be very recently returned, retooled and recertified back to SoulFullHeart facilitation for any individual who’d like to explore their next pieces and place of growth through the SoulFullHeart paradigm of life and love with myself in session space together. Check out the link above for more info.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

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She is… (A Poem)

By Raianna Shai

She rides the tides
And phases of the moon
Her body
Growing and changing
With every rise and fall

Her curves hold life
So precious
A container
Of our own humanity

She moves with grace
Is graced with movement
So tender
So passionate
Lost in the moment of oneness

With Gaia
With mother
With the trees
And the wind

She is a portal
Back to your own heart
A mirror
Into your soul

Her feminine form
Soft and powerful
Her feminine heart
Of trust and surrender
Her feminine soul
Of flames, earth, air and wind

She is…

– divine feminine

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Moving From Being Alone To All-one

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/@khouser01

By Raphael Awen

Loving yourself requires feeling yourself and feeling yourself requires space.

This space is a transactional space where you as an observer/feeler opens a curious open hearted inquiry about another part of you.

When a part of you is feeling anything, be it anger, sadness, joy or bliss, you simply are this feeling state until this open hearted other shows up.

You move from being alone to all-one, when this state of transactionally loving yourself is flowing to and from ALL the aspects of your being.

This is my ‘teacher digestion’ as I feel myself moving through a pronounced recent dark night, death and rebirth cycle in the recent separation with Jelelle and new opening with each other. There was intense reaction through the birth canal, facing not only the loss of Jelelle, but also all of my beloveds in SoulFullHeart, almost more than I could bear, but there is also surprisingly many reactions to feel to be out the other side into a bunch of goodness, amidst all the relief. Feelings arise like ‘how will we sustain this new frequency?,’ particularly in relationship with an ever changing Jelelle as she and her parts have launched a rocket ship of service in recent months and continues to do so. She definitely isn’t the same woman I married in so many ways. It’s still more than a bit disconcerting to a part of me to feel she’ll most likely be yet again a different woman in a few weeks from now, or in any moment for that matter. She’s definitely a lot to keep up with part of me says.

When this unsettled feeling moves through me, it first produces an unsettled reaction where I’m less grounded, often not even conscious of the actual feeling. Then when my consciousness registers the fear, I can immediately launch an inquiry as to what part of me is feeling that.

I’m working with and relating with a new part of myself, Mateo, who has held mateship all these years, and most all of the reactions that have to do with Jelelle involve him. Initially, the feeling swell is anxiety, aloneness, fear, but when I connect with him, and am not in denial of these ‘lower’ feeling states, immediate non judgmental space opens out. Curiosity makes space for deep reconnection inside myself, love and compassion begins that flows out to deep understanding, exchanges of appreciation, remorse for the distance between he and I, anticipation of what wants to come between us, and more flow in an abun-dance, and abounding dance between two beings becoming one.

The awareness comes full circle then that the feeling of trying to manage my relationship with Jelelle is coming from a part of me who feels out of touch with my heart, his heart home in that moment. Reconnecting him and I, then pulls back the projections going outward to land in me, which is the only place they can really be made secure.

This inner romance and its deep fulfillment me-to-me can then pervade and flow into my relationship with Jelelle, and navigate with all the navigation necessary (or not necessary) to be in the arising changing moment relationally. The inner relational space is mirrored in the outer romance and vice versa, as well as to all my relationships on all levels.

Without this, Mateo says, “you’re hooped man, take it from me!”

Thank you all for your embrace of yourself, which makes real relationship and nourishment possible.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Energy Update: High SOULar Winds Accelerate Higher Timelines & Collapse Denser Ones

By Jelelle Awen

Energy Update: Are you feeling the energy current stream that we are in right now? Feels like it is quite a strong one with energy from the Great Cosmic Sun streaming into our sun and flowing into our Personal Sun/Stellar Gateway chakras (about two feet above our heads.)

This is ANOTHER day of high SOULar winds….wind speeds are still up above 500 km/sec right now (according to spaceweather.com.) Looks like we will remain in this wide SOULar wind stream for another day or two. These winds are producing geomagnetic storms and brilliant auroras in the higher elevations as well.

All of this cosmic energy is helping to accelerate ALL of our higher timelines and collapse the denser ones (for those souls who are ready). This acceleration can heighten clarities and visions around what your higher timeline looks and feels like, plus push up dissatisfaction and frustration in parts of you around what you’ve settled for/been more 3D based/been shrinking to. Masculine energies are especially seeming to be impacted by these Divine Masculine activations from the sun.

You may notice that there is more flare ups of advocacy going on for you in your life….and the corresponding suppressed truth wanting to come out. We so need the healthy masculine expressions of truth telling, boundary setting (when needed), clarity, right action and choices. The wounded masculine, 3D frequencies that suppress, judge, manipulate, etc. are being pushed up to be seen and felt.

I wrote this yesterday in a post, “The Divine Masculine wants to support the transition from warrior to ambassador; from battling to loving; from self protection out of fear to healthy boundaries that come organically from moving out of fear and more into love. This transition starts from within…..with the Inner Masculine and the beloved aspects of self that are represented by them…the laying down of weapons and armor in order to BE more love and trust love.”

Self care of your body vessel during these winds and check ins with your masculine aspects can support the integration of these energies. Grounding with Mother Gaia too and letting the sun codes directly into your physical being too!

Jelelle Awen
1:1 sessions available with me and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (including TWO beautiful male spaceholders for men and women! Gabriel and Raphael) to connect with these precious inner masculine aspects and move them into healthy expressions of masculine. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Taken by Jani Ylinampa on February 28, 2019 @ Rovaniemi, Lapland, Finland

Loving Others Is A Sacred Opportunity

by Kalayna Colibri

Loving others isn’t a mandate. It’s not something we are required to do. Nothing can magically force us to love each other… and the truth is, we actually can’t fully love each other until we have love overflowing from within.

Loving others, then, is a byproduct. It’s something we will organically feel flowing between us the more we love ourselves.

Loving ourselves is not a mandate either… but an open and constant invitation that we can choose to accept and journey into, or choose to walk away from.

There are many ways we can learn to love ourselves so we can love others deeper with more genuine appreciation and respect, even reverence. One way is to be with and love deeply ALL parts of you. There are so many in there, waking up and wanting love. They may have some funny ways of asking for love, such as through self-ridicule, criticism, depression, or anxiety… but they want love just the same.

If you can learn to love them, in everything they are, you WILL come to love yourself… and then, in this same frequency and consistency, you WILL come to love others in ways never taught or imagined before, even when the relationship ground can’t transact or find mutual nourishment and you need to love them with healthy boundaries in place.

Even though the path to deeply loving myself is challenging sometimes, I have always found it so worth it… it’s worth all that you’re asked to feel by and with love… it’s worth looking at the darker parts or the ones that can express with darkness where they don’t care or have much compassion for others or, firstly, for themselves. It’s worth it, because in my experience, the possibility of transacting and being IN deep love with others who are also on this journey is incredible. Unreal! Nourishing beyond what you’ve thought of as nourishing. Every time my heart opens more to myself, I feel it open more towards others. And that feels much better than any past efforts made to falsely love others or love them only for what I or parts of me could get from them.

Such is the depth of healing possible. Such is the way of true and real love. And these are the possibilities for deeper unity and love transaction in our Sacred Human family. ❤️

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Supermoon Energy: Self-Acceptance/Love While Soberly Looking Within

by Kalayna Colibri

“With masks down, I walk, talking to the moon, to the neutral impersonal force that does not hear, but merely accepts my being.” – Sylvia Plath

The moon supports life on earth. She represents the Divine Mother while the Sun represents the Divine Father. They move in concert with each other, both bringing us into life, both very much with all of us as we walk through life. Both offer us codes, frequencies to integrate, vibrations of love that help us see ourselves and where we need to go next, as well as how far we’ve already come.

This Supermoon today brings us this message of love. Of a self-embracement and growing sense of self-love and appreciation for where and who we are right now, for this place, this being, is not where or who we’ll be forever. We all have more layers to see that need healing, that need our sober eye to look at them, but that need our love more than anything else. Loving others isn’t a mandate, it’s an opportunity that arises from the love we have within.

The Supermoon always feels intimate to me. It’s Mother giving us more illumination of our shadow, but the biggest piece that I think is always in our shadow, is the denial of love from ourselves to ourselves. The lens that tells us that love is scarce and that we have to do an awful lot to really earn the right to be loved and to feel loved. We are being invited to feel how love for ourselves has been conditional and to start feeling how destructive and harmful this is… not just because it harms parts of us that need us, but because it is does ultimately impact everyone around us too. The seeds of love have to be planted in the heart-garden within. Then we can show up with love for and with each other form the flourishing harvest that results.

“Can you start to love what has felt unlovable? Can you take care of all you’ve been given, all challenging situations, all parts of your heart and aspects of your soul, all areas of your sacred human body? Can you begin to see how you’ve withheld love and care for others because of insecurity, a feeling of lack of love within? Can you, will you, begin to look at what’s been neglected, even the harsh voices and parts within you, that need you more than anything else? More than more yoga, more than more food, more than more of anything material or physical or mental you could offer to help it feel temporarily better?” These are the questions I feel these energy waves offering today… these are the places I feel we are being invited to go within, to start the open-hearted investigation into who we all are in this now… and to begin to feel who and how we most want to be going forward, especially with ourselves.

This is going in very much on a personal level for me too in the moment, feeling appreciation for where my journey has led me and what is yet to open out. A new phase of Queen is arising as I move into ‘married life’ on a soul and heart level with Gabriel. I feel this Queen energy arising in relationship to my body, to service of love through SoulFullHeart, to Gabriel my beloved, to my other beloveds and most intimate relationships, to any crucibles that come my way in my own healing process. I feel how the Supermoon energies support King and Queenness to arise more through this process of deepening self-love for all who are ready to let that invitation in. It’s very much a time for deepening personal process yet the process of connection with others and service of love too in this collective we are all a part of.

Much love to you as you feel all of this with your own heart and parts!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energy Update: HIGH Speed SOULar Winds Streaming IN

By Jelelle Awen
Energy update: We are in the middle of a SOULar wind stream with wind speeds up to 600 k/sec (‘normal’ is around 300)!! This high speed wind is bringing in geomagnetic storms in the higher to mid-altitudes with accompanying beautiful aurora codes to take in, according to spaceweather.com.
As usual with HIGH SOULar winds, you may feel aches/pains in the head and neck area (causal and crown chakras) as YOUR magnetic field responds to the influx of magnetics. Polarizations inside (such as victim ‘versus’ perpetuator; patriarchal/wounded masculine aspects and matriarchal/wounded feminine ones, etc.) are amplified during these streams of geomagnetics. These are the trailing sacred masculine activations after the receiving of Divine Mother/Feminine lunar codes during the recent eclipse passage.
Feeling these aspects of yourself and the dynamics between them can help significantly with healing the polarizations to move into more inner unity. I introduce the main parts that we work with in our SoulFullHeart process in my video series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3
This video offers a guided meditation to relate with, activate, and integrate ascension energies specifically: https://youtu.be/59PdVsp0TGw
The magnetic pole shifting that is happening (including the need to update the model for it) shows the alignment that is ongoing for Gaia as She ascends into fifth dimensional consciousness. I’ll share more about the pole shifting process as it downloads more for me. So far, my Star Family has offered that the process of pole shifting will be orchestrated and held by Star BEings so as not to cause life-altering conditions for us. They are reassuring that there is no need to be fearful or concerned about the pole shifting as it coincides with the ongoing disclosure process.
As always, practice much self love on the emotional, physical, and social body levels during these higher frequency influxes. As you align within with MUCH love, so you can align to these cosmic energies as well to receive them AS love.
Love,
Jelelle Awen
1:1 sessions available to feel, digest, and integrate parts of you from this life and other lifetimes/timelines too! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Photo is by Markus Varik from Tromsø, Norway.

A Reflection Of Me

Birthdays are interesting days. Parts of us have interesting reactions to them. They want to run, hide, enjoy and celebrate. From an essential point of view, every day is a birthing day. We get to arise new into our BEing and make a mark onto the world and into ourselves. We can create, learn, and grow from all our experiences and relationships.

Yet, on THIS day, third dimensionally speaking, we began a quest and a journey where we chose to forget this essential remembrance in order to find our Selves again. We demarcate a point in spacetime to reflect, appreciate, and honor life itself. For me, it is letting in time to love myself and this inner world of parts and Metasoul aspects that are a part of this healing and leading quest that I have chosen. It is also about giving thanks to those that have been an intimate and integral part of it….my beloved soul family and those that have been a part of this wild ride of ascension.

Today I am honored to be in a sacred union romance with Kalayna Colibri, who has been a beacon for my soul and heart for six years now even when we were just “friends”. She is the Queen to my King and for whom I am madly in love with. She has never ceased to call to my bigness as well as seeking her own. A part of me has called her the one he never saw coming, but somehow I knew different.

I have known Jelelle Awen for almost 30 years now, which seems to span lifetimes and dimensions. She is the one that showed me life when parts of me only saw suffering. I have died and come back to life many times from her vision and remembrance of who I am when I was too confused to do the same for myself. She is a mirror of my bigness and that frankly scares the shadow out of me! A true gift to me every single year.

In this quest of the Sacred Masculine, there has been one man by my side in this feminine offering. Raphael Awen has been a template of a father, brother, teacher, mentor, guide, and King. He has gone deep into all relationship with a courageous vulnerability that stirs the heart and defies what we as men are used to seeing from the collective and for that, I am forever changed.

My daughter, Raianna Shai, has shown me that Joy is the natural location of Soul. Her unique soul, ever since she was a wee one, has always been on a course to bring this Joy to others in the world, even when that joy has been met by heartache and challenge. She is far more than a daughter, but a teacher and a reminder of what our essence truly IS.

And then there is all of those that have been a part of this experiment and journey called SoulFullHeart. The courageous hearts and souls that have gone into the Deep and continue to do so. You are inspiring and amazing and I am honored to have you all a part of my life. I have much gratitude for all the people that have been followed my words and been touched by them. Your reflection and letting in is a daily gift to me as well as a joy and honor.

So on this day of a personal Earth birthing, I celebrate you and me together. Now let’s go eat cake on our behalf!!!

Love to you all and thank you again for all you ARE.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.


Love’s Push Pull

By Raphael Awen

Love is the thing we crave the most, but strangely, it is also the thing we resist the most.

How in the world could both of these be true at the same time?

I feel it has to do with how we are love in search of itself.

If we set out to define what we are, we soon see the inadequacy of a biological description of what we are or any kind of mental description, and we are left parked at the door of reverence.

Awe and wonder opens us out to seeing and feeling the love that is at core of the universe (or multiverse, or whatever other word you currently use to attempt to describe the largest container that we all swim in).

Love itself set out to know itself, through the challenge of opening itself out to what it isn’t. Love set out to grow beyond the fullness of bliss that it already was, admitting that an emptiness was beginning to invade the fullness of itself.

In other words, it simply came to want more. It grew dissatisfied.

If this is true, then the very lives we are living today, (rather than the one you imagine living after attaining some grand spiritual attainment) are already deeply grounded in love’s holding and expansion. Everything in your life that feels like not-love is an opportunity for love to come to know itself inside of circumstance. Prior to your and my circumstances, love had no mirror like circumstance in which to see or know itself, as it was all there was.

Then if this is true, then how do we ground this into our waking reality, our livelihood, our relationships, our anxieties, our dreams?

I believe the most effective way to act on this is to ‘real’-ize it into everyday life, to enculturate it into your life the same way your present reality came to be enculturated in you. What it feels like to be you today came to you relationally. It came to you through the dynamic of relationship exchange. It involved a you and an other. If you had a somewhat normal development, at around 2 years of age, you began to feel yourself as an other, leaving the oneness bliss oroboros of being one with your mother. From then on, you became conditioned as a distinct and separate you through the relational (you to other) experiences that you have had since then.

Very fortunately for each of us is the truth that what we are made up of is in fact many separate and distinct others. Our personality is in fact more of a family presentation than it is what we think of as a single person.

This now gets to the core of our question at hand – how could we both crave love and resist love at the same time?

As a soul being, that existed prior to our human inhabitation and expression, we set out to know love. We did that by entering a human domain where the matrix perception reality is one of the scarcity of love. Our human experience is well versed in learning how to survive in love’s lack, how to minimize our needs and function on as little as possible. But what we are and where we came from is all about the superabundance of love. We know this in every cell of our being, regardless of the poverty that may be at play in our life’s dramas.

We are living two stories at the same time. The plot is one where everything has been put at stake for the re-realization of love’s fullness. Love risked everything it had when it put its greedy wager out on you, and it won’t be satisfied until you are basked in love’s utter immersion and return to the oneness from whence you came.

You get to be an active facilitator of this process when you reach out relationally to these parts of you that make up what you’ve called you. You get to be this beacon of love’s superabundance to these aspects of your being that we’re hoodwinked into the scarcity side of the matrix equation. The lack was necessary until now. Now, you are invited to shift into part two of your life’s story.

Let love be felt and experienced by every part of you in a sacred relational reparenting process, where every bruised leg and skinned knee is an opportunity to discover what real love is.

When you become reconvinced of the superabundant love world, the scarcity world takes leave of your consciousness and takes leave of your ongoing life story.

You are the story of love waiting to be told and retold for the millennia to come.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Fear Is A Form Of Reverence

By Raphael Awen

Fear is a form of reverence.

That which we fear, we revere.

We fear and revere things that we perceive as bigger than us. We fear god, circumstances, illness, etc. as things or beings that are bigger than us and that we are thus subject to. I might want this, but god might want something different for me that I don’t want.

All of this is a product of making ourselves small.
What we really fear at a deep core level are not the things that we think we fear. What we really fear is our own bigness. Our bigness isn’t just big, it is infinitely big. Anything that we can’t define, refine or confine, we fear, and understandably so.

So we set out to manage ourselves. We manage life instead of letting in life. We see ourselves as subject to life, rather than the subjects of life. We choose a perception of a scarcity-based relationship to life because of the utter fear of falling prey to unlimited abundance.

It is actually way easier for parts of us to shut down our desire for more and just live with the dampened desire and dampened disappointment than it is to open ourselves full throttle to the level of desire and abundance that our being actually is. Here again is the deep core fear we run from.

How might we change this?

Because we live as conditioned beings, and we have conditioned ourselves to a lesser-reality which has become our ultimate-reality, then it follows that letting in new and truer reality will happen for us as we entertain and let in that new reality. We begin to become reconditioned to a new reality. Nothing happens without our consent and choice in our personal kingdoms and queendoms because we are the sovereign of our own domains.

There is still a deep place for surrender to the divine in all of this, it’s just that you can’t take yourself out of the divine equation. By that, I mean, you can’t externalize God and surrender to God. This is a form of keeping intact the small-you reality. You can’t separate yourself from divinity, try as you may.
Many will chafe at this idea of seeing themselves as god. How sacrilegious they exclaim. What we define as blasphemy is in service of the gods of our own creation. The gods we create are created out of our deepest fears that we haven’t yet felt.

Time and time again, life faces us with our infinite bigness, awaiting our surrender, our exploration, our reverence for all that is, and all that is in us, and though us, and to us….You are ‘divinity out divining’…. as you are now; as you are desiring to be; and as you will more and more come to terms with every day.

Feel your fears. They are one of the single truest things about you. So are your desires. Feel them too. Own it all. Let in the tears of having muffled both your real and deepest fears as well as your desires.

Let love collide with the reality you’ve conditioned yourself to.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.