Author: Jelelle Awen

I am a long-time healer, teacher, student, and facilitator of souls and hearts. My awakening journey really began in my early 30's in 2004 when I started a process to connect with and integrate parts of myself from this life and other lifetimes/timelines as well. I have been engaged with and offering 'parts process' work ever since then! I also awakened over the years to my multidimensional spiritual gifts, capacity to be a bridge to the Divine Feminine especially, galactic ambassador abilities, and intuitive empathic capacities to 'feel' the emotional body, energy chakras, and soul field. I offer 1:1 sessions with women, group facilitation and teaching experience with me through a monthly group transmission over Zoom with Raphael. I also offer a monthly women's Sacred Feminine Exploration group over Zoom with Kasha. More information about virtual and in person groups with me here: soulfullheart.org/events. I offer powerful healing 1:1 sessions with women over Zoom and in person for 55 Euros per 90 minutes. There is more info here: soulfullheart.org/sessions You can contact me here on facebook via PM or email at soulfullhearts@gmail.com if you have questions about the sessions and to schedule. I am also a writer, Soul Scribe and author of four books: Free To Be 5D: Navigating Ascension From The Inside Out; Bliss Mess: The Wonders And Challenges Of Ascension; Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality; And Keep Waking Up!: Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond. All are available now as PDF, ebook, and print editions at soulfullheart.org/books. My writings can be found on soulfullheartblog.com and my facebook and IG feeds. Here is more of my story and about me: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/about-jelelle-awen Please visit the SoulFullHeart website at soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our sessions, events, videos, and writings. The SoulFullHeart facebook page offers all postings by SoulFullHeart facilitators: https://www.facebook.com/soulfullheartwayoflife/?pnref=lhc

Healing Inner Punisher/Shame Loops To Come Out Of Smallness and Into Your Vastness

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By Jelelle Awen

The pain comes from being small. From learning to act small and conform to the smallness around you.

The suffering comes from their projection of smallness onto you and the acceptance of this that then becomes your reality….and theirs too. It is a co-created agreement to be and remain in smallness. The smallness is the 3D agreement of filtering. It makes up the veil of amnesia and the belief in it keeps the veil in place.

The pain comes from the long term fusion to/belief in this sense of smallness AS the truth of who you are. It comes from the forgetting of the truth of your VASTNESS.

Parts of you form to support this smallness picture. These parts of you repeat the message of it over and over in self punishing tones and voices within you. The unworthiness message battles your body, your emotions, your spirituality, your choices, your thought patterns….whatever can be picked on or is vulnerable to attack.

This punishing frequency forms layers of protection and guardedness over your innocence. Over time, your innocence becomes covered over with shame and feelings of wrongness and unworthiness to receive love.

Your trust in life, yourself and the Divine gets layered over with distrust, esp as you draw more circumstances and relationships that reinforce this smallness picture.

Your sense of goodness about yourself becomes buried over with unworthiness and self hate.

These parts of you feel then that they ARE unworthy, are shameful, are wrong by their very nature. So much suffering in this usually unconscious looping of the punisher part and the corresponding reactions of shame in the younger parts of you.

This is a well oiled and fuelled system inside designed to keep you small, created to cap your growth, and reinforced to maintain itself. It is designed to keep you protected, even if it is limiting.

There is not some evil force of aliens or demons or negative entities that keep this personal hell in manifest form from within you. This is not being done to you BY others, even as it can very much feel that way.

The others in your life (the ‘outside’) that invalidate you and reinforces this smallness picture are there only to offer you a reflection of this inner polarized state for it continue to come into your awareness….over and over again if necessary until you wake to it as being sourced from INSIDE of you.

This is a self-created smallness that your soul chose for good reason….until it is the time and phase to complete it. ONLY you can realize when that time is and ONLY you can end it.

You end it by bringing love to ALL the parts of you that have felt so unworthy, including the parts of you that punish, judge, attack, and shame you. You separate from these parts in order to have a relationship WITH them and not just become them in their routinized reactions.

THIS creates an increasing sense of your goodness, of your worthiness and….of your VASTNESS. This inner love ambassadorship to ALL frequencies inside of your BEing connects you to the truth of your bigness again. To your innate goodness again. To your innocence again.

Who ARE you?

You ARE Infinite Love in human form….Divine Self essence in a human body……arising into your bigness expression for the service of and because of LOVE. ANY picture less than that is ripe to be loved into this infinite love realized manifestation state again.

Welcome back to the VASTNESS of you….love can show the way!! ~

Message from your Divine Self,

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Join me for a free intro (30 min over zoom) and 1:1 sessions for women (and with Raphael for men) for support in this divine self embodiment path in person (here in Central Portual) or over zoom with THREE types of sessions now available…..Divine healing, self healing, and embodiment healing sessions by donation of 55-100 euros sliding scale, truly based on neg. and what you can afford…soulfullheart.org/sessions

Here is a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Punisher-Shame dynamic:

Posted a video of me reading this writing as well on my feed and here on you tube:

Solar Eclipses Digestions & Activations

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By Raphael and Jelelle Awen

Jelelle:

The reverential AWEsomeness of the cosmos rushed over me and the Divine wonder of the configuration of our Universe as we took in the eclipse ‘show’ for a couple of hours via live feed.

During the eclipse it felt right for Raphael and I to be in our airbnb rental together, a cozy studio that we cleared the energy beforehand with a salt lamp, incense, set up a simple altar….as it was super windy on the beach here in Nazare, on the silver coast of Central Portugal. We were guided to be here on the coast to celebrate our recent wedding anniversary, the release of our book together, the birth of Divine Self Embodiment AND take in the eclipse.

The energies themselves kept building and building before the eclipse as well and I had a sense of that, plus overall uneasiness, intensity, calibration, and needing to ground, to be in sacred space, especially after driving here for a couple of hours yesterday. It reminds me of the anticipatory feelings when you take a plant medicine or psychedelic….excitement mixed with unknown mixed with some tension.

Every chakra and clair ability amplified prior to it within me and during it as well, which is why I advocated yesterday for being in an environment and with energies that resonate with you and what you want MORE of in your life, in your internal world and with others. Energies that are supportive of your larger and authentic being coming forward into expression.

As I digested the eclipse energies more with Divine Mother this morning, I felt how what was most interesting was the RELATIONSHIP that each soul/parts/aspects of people had with the eclipse. What their filters were going into it and then their digestion during/after as well.

Many souls had strong fear and darkness projection filters going on, avoided it altogether, didn’t want to take it in visually in any way and even warned others about it…felt it was inviting in darkness and entity attachments. In the reality they are coming from (which is sacred to them in this phase), the timelines where this was the sense of eclipses (esp in more primitive timelines) may be coming forward now for feeling and healing. Fear draws the reality of more fear on the ‘outside’ until it is met and answered by love and trust from within and with the Divine.

There were those souls who projected that the eclipse would result in a ‘grand saving’, a rapture, a dissolution of the false world and a sudden and abrupt sweeping into the New (in whatever their soul’s desire and picture is for that.) There was deep meaning projected onto the eclipse changing everything, often because of a hollow and empty feeling inside themselves in their own life experiences. Unfelt despair can so often be placed onto events outside of self for some relief rather than felt/used as a portal for more self love and Divine connection.

There were those souls who made it into an occasion to party, to be in a large crowd, to feel Unity in that way even while being less sensitive to the impact on themselves and their energies. And, the 3D mainstream view of ‘science’ explaining it all logically and yet admitting that it was a rare occurrence worthy of study.

It’s fascinating really, all the different filtering experiences and perceptions of the same event! It feels like the eclipse itself serves as a mirror for us all individually and collectively. It really shows how divergent humanity is right now with so many different timeline realities playing out on the Earth Plane as it ascends to Gaia consciousness and we do too. That divergence does create quite a schism, where groups of souls are really experiencing quite an altered and often polarized reality from each other.

The ultimate invitation that I felt from the eclipse was one of Unification….an occurrence of seemingly miraculous alignment designed and offered by the Divine to SHOW us and INVITE us to unite, to come together, and to be in surrender to something bigger than ourselves and our current life content, struggles, and issues. To move out of fusions to parts of us being right or being wrong, being evil or being righteous…to feel how sacred we ALL are as Divine children and human embodiments of the Divine.

These eclipse energies, which feel like they will be integrating for months/years to come, offer both an invitation to go deeply inward to know/feel/deepen with self….and a transmission of Unity/Oneness/connection with ALL That IS outside of self.

A deep compassion for humanity and where we are in this moment…in the sacred growth experience of divergence and somewhere deep inside parts of us aching for reunion…moves through when we open our hearts to feel it ALL with Divine Mother.

Love to you as you integrate, feel, and ground in these eclipse energies within your BEing,

Jelelle Awen

This was our favorite image from that we took…a screen shot from Nasa’s feed as offered through Fox News feed in which after totality a burst of the sun’s rays came through…light emerging out of the darkness.

Raphael:

There’s a feeling to this eclipse after the fact of being on the other side of all the anticipation and projections of what might occur, shifting now to the wonder, inquiry and digestion of what did happen.

This event, when felt through the heart, offers a big entry point and exit point into new realms of our being.

It’s kind of like 9/11 – everyone remembers where they were on that fateful day that was like a lightning strike to the tree of collective consciousness that we could only wonder what that would mean to life going forward.

I feel this surrender now into receiving something long awaited and yearned for. My mind is a bit tired even at the attempt to encapsulate it mentally, but my heart knows it received a big transmission and transmutation. A download if you will.

We each get to go beyond the projected fears and hype that was thrust onto this celestial event and feel what each part of us needs and wants in the new territory.

It was probably an eclipse like celestial event that heralded the birth of Yeshua. Culture works for millenniums after that to try and integrate it.

You are the Christ consciousness arising, even as parts of you feel nothing like that at all. That’s what and where you as your divine self comes in. You’re the digester, the integrator, the reconciler. Yeshua too was quite surprised and profoundly challenged to learn of what his soul had intended for him.

No part of you wants to be left behind. All of you wants to come along. You are the event, the totality, the dawning and the integration.

I’m feeling a personal piece of being reconnected with Divine Father after a many years long incubational rebirth period with Divine Mother. She’s passing me off it feels like, yet offering she goes nowhere.

I’m feeling an Old Testament scripture come back from memory offered to me and each of you. (Admittedly with a couple updated tweaks)

“Arise, shine, for your light has come and the glory of the divine has arisen within you. Great darkness will cover many people, but my light now dawns inside of you.”

What does your full shining look and feel like? What’s been hidden in shadow that wants revealing? How can this come out without harm even though it may hurt?

Love to you as you hold it all. If my words offer a support to you, let me know and let’s see what a deepening connection might look and feel like together. 💚 I’ve been told that sweet new souls are washing up on my shores as I wash up on theirs.

For more information about 1:1 sessions, group events, books/videos visit soulfullheart.org.

4:4:4:4 Portal Energy Update: Recognition of Home Frequencies & Patterns/Cycles In Your Life

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By Jelelle Awen

4/4/4/4 Energy Update: It is the 4:4:4:4 (4/4/2+2/4) portal today (THAT is a lot of four energy!) and there is really something so affirming of the bigger picture and yet also grounding into the NOW about 4 energies…as represented by the four seasons and four elements (well, and the fifth of spirit).

Four codes can be about following Divine guidance, your intuition/soul wisdom, and then making progress/choices toward that, resolving practical and relationship matters with loving negotiation inside and out.

I also feel there was an invitation with these 4:4 energies to be direct with care, transparent with yourself and others to deepen the sense of trust in your higher heart intuition and Divine guidance as well. Being direct with care is possible as you heal from trauma responses/reactions/projections/triggers that lead to hiding your truth, being indirect, manipulation, passive aggression, keeping secrets, lying, etc. Feeling parts of yourself and soul aspects to heal these grounds allows for transparency inside and out.

4:4 is also about recognizing the patterns and cycles in your life and in your awakening journey…the beginnings, the harvest, the fall/death, and the spring arising again. These energies of transformation are being strongly activated right now…and an invitation to surrender to the cycles of change that lead to profound transmutation at all levels of being. To be in the flow more and more.

4:4 is a recognition of your current home on all levels…in the physical, within your body, in your heart space, connected to your soul, with the Divine, in your relationships. And feeling how you and parts of you feel about the current state of these homes…safe? Restless? Frustrated? Unhealthy? Time for change? Goodness and rest? Groundedness? Uneasiness?

This is also coming out of the Easter passage, offering codes of crucifixion/necessary death/letting go that allows for resurrection with Divine forgiveness and trust….as the Magdalenes seeded into the collective consciousness during that lifetime. There is the template there in the soul family monad around how to BE with inevitable change in a way that allows for the deepest personal growth in alignment with the Divine.

And, all of this is amplified by the eclipse energies and the approaching total solar eclipse in four days. I felt a significant lightening up yesterday in the energies yet there is still something slightly unsettling feeling about them right now…especially with the ‘hype’ and speculation around the total solar eclipse. They can often illuminate shadows in geographies, ley lines, collective energies and within the individual too.

This is a passage to honor whichever phase you may be in right in this moment……WHILE seeing/feeling the bigger picture of your life/purpose/service grounded in the home of your heart and soul.

There is an illumination being offered of inner sacred unions too, the dynamic between your inner masculine and inner feminine energies in hieros gamos deepening….and if they are polarized, in union, in conscious negotiation or playing out unconscious dynamics from parental templating, Matrix conditioning, soul karma and more. This is a key element of deepening the sense of home within.

Raphael and I will be exploring inner sacred union with sharings and a guided meditation in our group call on Sunday, April 7th, more info to join by donation at: https://www.facebook.com/events/792561519447717

Much love to you on this 4:4:4:4, eclipse, and post-Easter Passage,

Jelelle Awen

When Suffering Becomes The Comfort Zone For Parts Of You (Video)

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By Jelelle Awen

Sometimes the comfort zone is actually the ‘pain zone’.

Parts of you/soul aspects get used to suffering on some level, in the physical body (illness/disease/inflammation), or the emotional body (post traumatic, depression, anxiety, fear reactions) or the mental body (negative mind set, false belief systems, suffering/shame thought spirals) or the soul and energy field (karmic looping, ‘entity attacks’, ceilings in awakening, disconnection from soul purpose.) Or, in relationships (codependence, being/allowing abuse, flatness/deadness, etc.) Or in ALL of these in different phases and stages.

Pain/suffering is meant to be a temporary ‘warning sign’ and an invitation to use it as a portal of self discovery and healing WITH the Divine. It is not meant to be a ‘finally resting place’ or dimension or frequency for which we can live and thrive, although certainly the 3D Matrix makes it feel like that (which takes many distractions and drugs of all kinds and continuous toxicity to keep barely alive.)

And this suffering actually becomes safe and comfortable to these parts of you. It becomes ‘home’. The only thing they have ever known.

I imagine to the version of ‘you’ reading this right now that may seem strange or counter intuitive, yet I have seen/felt/witnessed this so many times in others and in my own parts, esp when we drop into the consciousness frequency ‘below’ the persona ego “I” voice as we do in sessions.

Parts of you may feel very, very deep down…at a core level…that they do not deserve love. That they are not worth love. That they are not EVER going to truly be free of pain and suffering. That they do not trust that love will ever NOT turn into pain and loss.

I would offer, in fact, that we ALL have parts that feel that way…until we connect with them consciously to feel what has been comfortable for them, the dark places they reside, the void places they retreat to, the medications they use to numb out their feelings (including spirituality).

And there they stay…..in suffering, in hell realms, in karmic suffering loops of unworthiness, shame and disconnect…… until, as our Divine Self (compassionate, non-judgemental, supported, hopeful), we invite them to come into our heart, come into the light, come into safety, come into starting to feel the SEEDS of goodness and love from within. Until we start to consciously negotiate with these stuck parts…there is just no way they can actually shift and move in a lasting and transmutative way.

They will resist. They will come up with excuses. They will go into victim mode/blame, looking on the outside for ’causes’ and for ‘cures’. The inertia to remain in stuckness, in suffering, in pain is SO deep and vast, as it is fuelled by collective consciousness and the Matrix programming/conditioning.

It can be tricky to feel and reframe the excuses into invitations to move into something new and hopeful, something beyond the fear. It can be challenging to track all the diversive strategies that can come up in the resistance to feeling, to healing, to ascending, to embodying your Divine self. To experiencing and receiving LOVE.

I am still surprised sometimes by the resistance that comes up in parts of people to receiving love, to seeing themselves as Love and to becoming love for parts of themselves. Yet, I also understand it and am compassionate about it, as I so felt the same resistance in parts of me for many years and soul aspects too (some of which I share about in my new book memoir with Raphael, Under The Bloated Banyan).

Yet, ultimately, to resist love is not natural and is what I’ve been offered by the Divine is the root cause of all suffering. When parts of you resist love, they are resisting THEIR very essence AS love.

That feels worth repeating:

Resistance to love is the root cause of ALL suffering.

In this brief video that I filmed coming out of Divine meditation space this morning, I offer more about this dynamic within and also a meditation bridge to Divine Mother’s heart lifeline to any parts of you in suffering and supports your Divine Self to be there for them. Inviting these parts of you to join you in Divine Mother’s higher dimensional Sacred Garden space with healing pools. It is posted above.

1:1 and couples sacred session space to feel and bridge to these parts in suffering and make a soul turn toward love are available with me and/or Raphael…more info at soulfullheart.org/sessions

Love,

Inner Sacred Union/Hieros Gamos Group Transmission Call W/Raphael & Jelelle Awen 4/7

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By Jelelle Awen

Inner sacred union (hieros gamos) is the awakening of the lovers contained in your soul (drawn from the Divine Union Pairbond source field) and arising into expression in your life, embraced by your heart and contained in your body. Inner sacred union bridges you to the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine within, the sun and the moon, yin and yang….to find integration inside you.

Hieros Gamos opens up an ongoing healing and clearing of polarized and toxic relationships within you between masculine aspects and feminine aspects. You move into a soul-guided process of unifying polarities that have been more separated within you, in our collective consciousness, and in 3D/karmic relationships.

As you connect to your ‘inner lovers’ this allows for deepenings and openings in the experience of inner balance and harmony, and unplugging from/moving on from parental relationship templates/previous relationship partner dynamics and Matrix relational programming that may have been internalized. Previous hurts, harms, and rejections wounds from previous relationships also come to resolution, completing the suffering pattern drawn on the outside.

This inner sacred union healing ground of initiation then prepares you for and draws (and allows for transaction within) a nourishing Divine counterpart sacred union with a beloved mate on the outside.

In this two-hour group call for men and women on Sunday, April 7th at 5:00pm -7:00pm WEST (Lisbon, Portugal/UK); 12:00pm EDT (New York)….Divine Self Embodiment Teachers/Facilitators/Sacred Union Mates Raphael and Jelelle Awen offer an exploration into inner sacred union.

During this call, we will share about:

– our own personal journeys and process of healing and opening out our inner sacred union expressions both together as a couple and individually.

– We also offer how the Divine Self Embodiment healing process of conscious access to parts of yourself and other lifetime aspects/soul dynamics allows for a deeper embodiment of your inner sacred union as it allows a bridge to your inner masculines parts such as Inner Protector, Gatekeeper and Inner Punisher…and your inner feminine parts (younger such as Inner Child/Teenager to Inner Mother/Crone) as well.
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In the guided meditation/transmission portion of the call, we will play our 432HZ quartz crystal bowls and create a bridge to your inner masculine as he wants to show up in the moment and your inner feminine as well. We invite them to attend a ‘dance ball’ and to dance together in the moment if they are ready. During this dance, we open up connection between them and also reveal places that feel stuck or conflictual between them.

Divine guides and sacred union mates Yeshua and Mary Magdalene join us to hold a safe, higher-vibe space for this exploration and offer inspiring transmissions of sacred union love.
Raphael will channel from his sacred masculine mate heart and Jelelle from her sacred feminine mate heart any messages/guidance/codes of support that flow through them for you. We also repeat affirmations/recodings as a group that provide a new coding of inner sacred union experience within you and with your mate.

Here is an inner sacred union guided meditation video from Raphael and Jelelle’s Deepen 2022 video series which we recommend watching prior to the call: https://youtu.be/YVgEANrF6J4

This group call is part of our ongoing Sacred Union w/self, others and the Divine virtual transmission group call series with transmission calls being offered every two weeks on Sundays until the end of June. We will then expand and deepen this in an inner sacred union group call for women on April 21st with Kasha and Jelelle…focusing on the specific processes and experiences for women. It feels like this will allow some polarities to heal between the genders as well and new codings to come in. More info about the series at soulfullheart.org/sacredunionseries2024

We recommend reading/listening to Jelelle’s Free To Be 5D book as a support for this group call. If you donate to attend/receive the recording of this circle, we will send you a free PDF, plus the audio book files in Jelelle’s voice, to take in as a support for it.
You can receive these frequencies live with us (highly recommended) or take in the recording afterwards.

If you attend the live group, you’ll have the opportunity to share with us about what you experienced during the meditation and receive feedback/next steps of integration from us (this is totally optional). Plus, you’ll be able to take in and receive sharings from other women and men on the call, which is a powerful activation of its own!

This group is open to the public and to any woman and man over 18. You can attend the group and/or receive the recording for an energy/money exchange of whatever donation you feel to give (11 Euros/USD is the amount people usually offer us).

You can offer your donation for the call in one of four ways:

1. Our preferred payment platform is Wise if you have that or would like to sign up. It’s instant, zero fee to transfer money between members. There’s a doc here with some guidance and more info if you’d like to sign up. Include your email if using wise: http://tiny.cc/ron3vz

2. If you are Canadian, you can use Interac e-transfer. Our email for transfers is soulfullhearts@gmail.com and account is under Marvin Vriend. It’s also instant and without service fees to sender or receiver.

3. via our shop at soulfullheart.org/shop using stripe (Credit/debit)

4. Paypal at Paypal.me/soulfullheart (include your email)

Here’s a timezone converter: https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html…

New Book Release: Under The Bloated Banyan: Our Sacred Union Journey From False Light To True Love by Raphael & Jelelle Awen

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By Jelelle Awen

Today is the day our book baby is born! As we waited for final approval from amazon, we thought it might be on our 15th wedding anniversary on Thursday, and then on Good Friday, yet, it turned out to be Holy Saturday, the day in between Yeshua’s ‘crucifixion’ and resurrection….which feels perfect somehow!

And today is also perfect to release it as Raphael and I are having a sacred marriage vow renewal ceremony together with our beloveds…to name our intentions in deepening commitment to each other and to our commission (co-mission) of continuing to bring our Divine Self Embodiment consciousness offering to the Earth Plane/Gaia ascending for those soul family members who are resonant with it.

Our book called, Under The Bloated Banyan: Our Sacred Union Journey From False Light to True Love, is now my fifth self-published book and my first co-written with my beloved Raphael. This book has had quite a journey to being born in its current form! I first published it with just my writing/my side of the story in 2013, still feeling in some deeper trauma processing around what I share in it about the former cult-like spiritual group and teacher I/we were involved with (for me nearly five years and I was a facilitator of the work as well). It felt just too vulnerable at the time for parts of me while the group was still active and there was still so much controversy and energectic push back going on about speaking out against it from former friends/followers and my former teacher…so I ended up unpublishing it.

Then, I published my story again in 2018, feeling more settled inside with parts of me around the release of it, as the group had been collapsed for three years at that point after members FINALLY woke up to the abuses going on and fired the teacher/leader of it and collapsed the non-profit altogether. I had been able to process the completion with a couple of my former friends at that time, which seemed to help as well.

Yet, again, it didn’t feel quite right timing and easy inside to have my story (which is mostly from actual journals that I kept at the time) ‘out there’ so I retracted it again from public purchase. Both times I felt a sadness inside too as I had received feedback from people that sharing my story in such a vulnerable way touched them deeply and helped them in their own recovery from similar toxic, yet enlightening experiences with narcissistic groups/relationships.

So, then, about five months ago, Raphael and I were guided by Yeshua and Mary Magdalene to write the story of our sacred union journey over the last 18 years, including the time before we ‘officially’ came together while we were in the group. They offered that it would be a deep service to do this for others, the Christ-Magdalene lineage, and for ourselves/parts of us as well, to share it as a template for what is possible for those who have signed up for the Divine union marriage alchemical journey.

Raphael tuned into the parts of him (Marvin and Wayne) who had been through the several year journey shared about in this book, and wrote about leaving a long-term marriage and Christianity for which he received some pushback and his bravery in choosing his emotional healing and his soul awakening over duty and obligation. He also shares about holding the conscious memory of attraction to me and our Divine Union (as sometimes the masculine partner does) and he brought a few attractions to me before I was finally ready to respond to them (lots of emotional maturing to do on my side to be ready of it and him!).

Now, it feels time finally to share this story, which really hasn’t ever been just MY story I realize, which is why parts of me were uncomfortable to share it alone. Now, it includes Raphael’s parallel experiences in tandem with mine. It is so interesting to see how the choices and challenges we faced as individuals seem to constantly mirror each other, overlap and coincide, often entering and dissolving relationships with others at the same time…….until finally we are ready to choose a shared relationship and timeline together.

And, it is still stunning to feel, once we did, how our true and deep and Divinely guided/supported love dissolved ANYTHING false in our world right away. Within three weeks of our first date. We were accused by our former teachers of ‘faking a sacred union’ and of ‘going too fast’, ‘being codependent’…all of which we probably were in the beginning. Still, it was easy in another way to say ‘yes’ to being together and ‘no more’ to the ultimatum thrust on us of breaking up or staying in the group, which we were increasingly feeling had unnamed abuses and toxicity going on.

It is still shocking to parts of me, literally takes my breath away, to feel how quickly and completely our previous worlds (including my home geography eventually!) fell apart and away once we came together. This is often a signature of a Divine Union counterpart bond and also is the good will and genuine care/love/support for each other (absence of abuse, inability to lie to each other) that has been there between us from the very beginnings of our friendship turned romance. This kind of union calls you to be completely devoted to it, inside and out, as you feel how it is your means of expressing service and your soul purpose in the world.

I so hope you enjoy this first chapter/book of our sacred union journey, which we are now feeling to continue into what feels like two more books offered over the next three years. A sacred union trilogy capturing the phases, the ups and downs, the letting ins and letting gos, of what has truly been a bliss mess ride, yet always feeling held in a bubble of Divine love protection and marked absence of traumatic experiences (after the initial ones!)

Under The Bloated Banyan is a title that came through many years ago and represents the ‘bloat’ of these false light/false God groups and offerings that are offered under the banyan tree (the sacred tree where Buddha found his enlightenment.) So many of which offer deep teachings/gifts in their own ways and esp. in the beginning honeymoon stages, and yet are inevitability hijacked by the leader’s unfelt shadow motivations/aspects and the Matrix agenda/karmic field. These false light offerings/teachers are being exposed, disclosed and collapsing more and more as we outgrow the need for them…esp when we dedicate ourselves to healing our birth family/generational/incarnational trauma and engage in integrative shadow work with parts/aspects of ourselves.

Although, truly, this is not a story about ‘surviving a cult experience’…yet, really, it is and has always been, a love story. A love story about two counterparts reuniting again. A love story about discovering our deep devotional love for and with the Divine beloved. A love story about truly coming to love all parts of ourselves and soul aspects too.

You can purchase this book as a PDF on our shop (including instructions on how to read it on your kindle app/devices), or as in e-book and print editions through amazon. We would love to invite you to write a review if you feel moved and guided to after reading and also to share your thoughts, feelings, reactions, resonances with us here, via PM on Facebook, or email at soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Links to purchase and excerpt to read from the first chapter are here at soulfullheart.org/https://www.soulfullheart.org/underthebloatedbanyan

Amazon link (it is available in all major Amazon markets/countries so go to your amazon country link to purchase): https://tinyurl.com/3xdyaerw

And special thanks to Kasha Rokshana, who helped edit this book and designed the beautiful cover image for it. She has been a true champion and advocate for sharing this story (including the two previous versions!) and it feels like it wouldn’t be happening now without her love and passion for it to be out in the world!

Thank you for taking it into your heart and soul,

Love,

Jelelle Awen

And Raphael’s writing on this release:

“I am one proud papa to have this heart and soul baby born in the world!

Our story begins in a group that we were eventually ‘kicked out of’, but in truth, it was life, love and the divine itself that ‘kicked’ us out.

What we left with, largely unbeknownst to us at the time, was a Christ child, in embryonic form gestating in our bond. We took it from the light side of the egregore/usness of the beloved group we were a part of. It was like a baton that was passed on to us. We also took a great wound with us that would challenge us and lay our hearts bare, and eventually reveal a much deeper calling.

This story is a great revealing for me of a much deeper heart and soul calling to own and inhabit my own calling. I was allowed to feel and experience so much during these four years covered in this book, that I believe will be part of a key awakening for the men and women who resonate, who share this same calling, who share this same soul family lineage.

I truly hope my story and our story stirs deep within you, a recognition of the specialness and uniqueness of your own sacred calling that begins right from where you are right now. It couldn’t be more divinely appointed. That’s how I feel your and my life story.

It would touch me deeply not only to have you read it, but to hear how it landed and what it stirred for you, even better if you could share it publicly, (even anonymously if it’s understandably too much of a coming out for parts of you).

What a gift it is that this baby was born on this day as Jelelle and I had also planned this day many weeks ago as a day to gather with our current closest beloveds for a wedding vow renewal ceremony!

Thank you, Jelelle for your intense focus these past weeks to handle all the rigours of self publishing! Thank you most of all for being with me into where we go now!

May this story touch you like no other!

Love,

Raphael

Healing Sacred Sexuality Experiences In Union And Within Us To Access More Divine Self Embodiment

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By Jelelle Awen

Going into our sacred sexuality healing container group transmission call on Sunday 3/3 has brought up a recent process within my soul and with Raphael in our Pairbond union as I/we prepare for it. Our sexuality together has become, now over 15 years together, not just about the act of making love/intercourse etc. or even the ‘goal’ of orgasm. It has deepened into an energectic exchange that expresses physically, emotionally, spiritually, held by the heart that acts as a potent portal to our soul fields.

We call it ‘going into our bridal chamber’ when we transact these energies and it is a safe place where we can be not just naked physically, yet on ALL levels to share what parts/soul aspects are feeling as well. We have held our sexuality together with honoring and tender heart space from our very first sexual experience together, where I shared a letter from my yoni with him so he understood the previous pains/toxicities she had experienced before going deeper to receive him.

Sacred sexuality is not just about physical pleasure, yet also about emotional/spiritual healing as well. It serves the individuals even as it serves the collective too.

In this catalytic year of 2024, we can both feel an upgrade going on in our reunion consciousness together, moving even more out of separation consciousness from so many lifetimes in the 3D/lower 4D matrix of not getting to be together….and into reunion experience on all levels. This upgrade has pushed up some ‘trailing edge/shadow’ expressions of our bond to come up and out to receive love, trust, and response with love.

Our collaboration in creation of and offering of our SoulFullHeart way of life healing process/community has been a ground to sort out separation consciousness and come into more shared alchemy around it. This has revealed trailing edge places of fear of the masculine patriarchy dominance within my soul field experience and compensation for that within his (as the awakening masculines are prone to do this life, trying to ‘make up for’ so much shadow expression that they too were ultimately hijacked by as well.)

The other ground of healing from separation to reunion has been in the bridal chamber exploration of our sexuality. I had been experiencing recently, for the first time in our relationship, pain and tightness in my yoni during our sexuality which was related to moving into deeper stages of menopause. This is very common in women my age as the yoni tissues dry up due to lower estrogen levels. Often this leads to shut down sexuality and no longer desiring orgasms/sexual intercourse/sexual expression, etc.

I started adding to the supplements I’ve been guided to support me right now through this menopause phase specifically to ease this (Vitamin D, Irish Moss and Sea buckthorn oil). I’ll share about the others that are assisting me soon.

They are helping and it is now resolving, yet when it was painful sexuality in the experience with Raphael it pushed up lifetimes of ‘less consensual’ sexuality, which all women have experienced in some form. Not necessarily rape or sexual abuse (which of course so many have) yet what I feel is ‘spiritualized sexuality’ where in lifetimes as a priestess my soul aspects would provide sexuality as a bridge to experience the Goddess. The men who received this initiation through sexuality would then agree to protect the priestesses.

I processed with my soul aspects that this is essentially prostitution in yet another form and a manifestation of the persecution wounding that is so deep in our experience of sexuality (for men and women, both sides.) The temple priestess (esp the Oracle timelines) are rich with this experience, along with the harem lifetimes of ‘serving the man sexually along with many other wives’ as well. And of course the false light male gurus who sexually abuse their usually young female followers are recapitulating this cycle in this life.

I have felt and processed and held space for the healing of this wounded sexuality experience many times in sessions with women over the years and within myself even in this more recent process. These are such tender, sensitive, and vulnerable grounds to go into and it takes time for the Inner Protector/Gatekeeper to trust to open up the parts/soul aspects who experience these things. So very often the Inner Protector shuts down instead the sexual expression and experience (esp as we get older) within us and in the bond rather than open to feel and heal these grounds.

Going into these places in negotiation with our Inner Protector serves to free up our sexuality expression from the persecution wounds, from the shame, from the blame, from the suppression. As our sexuality energies move within our bodies, a vitality expresses and we can reclaim another previously lost and abused fragment of our Divine Feminine power expression.

The Divine honors our sexuality as sacred. The Divine Mother holds space for us to heal our woundings, shame, and fear related to it together and within our own being during phases of sacred singlehood so that we can become a pure channel of its expression and experience again.

We will be offering sacred sexuality sharings and a sound healing/guided mediation transmission from our bridal chamber experiences during this group call on Sunday, March 3rd at 5pm Portugal time/12pm EST which you can attend live and receive the recording. This is not just for those in relationship, yet also those who are single and sacredly healing their sexual experiences.

And Kasha and I will be offering a sacred sexuality group transmission call for women on 3/17 as well. There is more info to offer a donation at soulfullheart.org/events and https://www.facebook.com/events/688766643180972

Love,

Jelelle Awen

False Twin Flames Vs. Divine Union Counterparts: Digesting The Twin Flames Universe Docs

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By Jelelle Awen

I was drawn to watching the second doc series about Twin Flames Universe on Netflix (first one was on Amazon Prime that I also took in), a highly controversial group that is mostly online offering Twin Flame reunion ascension courses, groups, coaching, etc. They came across my radar a couple of years ago when someone I was facilitating in sessions mentioned them and mixed experiences with them.

One of the biggest things I felt as I digested the three part series and the many interviews with former members was a sadness at how the Divine Union Counterpart pairbond reality at the higher dimensions has so often been hijacked by the false light to be used in ways to facilitate control agendas.

Divine Union counterparts are very real and valid, as I have experienced myself with my beloved Raphael for the last 15 years in deep and committed reunion together. Yet, I do differentiate this from the false twin flame paradigm that is so popular in spirituality. In false twin flame (particularly as advocated in this group) there is justification of suffering/codependency/abuse/stalking/not respecting personal boundaries, and overall a fear-based grab at the ‘twin flame’ person as your ultimate lover so you need to just ‘live with’ whatever matter of way they treat you. Any means to be with them is justified for the ends of ‘completing each other.’

This is problematic enough in terms of healthy transaction grounds and embodied emotional maturity (which is the real gift of mirroring offered in a Divine Union counterpart bond, plus resolution of karmic patterns together) yet it gets very messy when you have false light leaders who use control, manipulation, group think, false abundance hooks and leaders who seem to be motivated NOT by love yet by making money and fuelling their own self image.

I do trust in the higher realms of the soul that these experiences are chosen by all followers and teachers for lessons and learning. I esp came to this sense having gone through and reconciled my own mostly false light experience and intense shunning experience w/a spiritual group/teacher many years ago when Raphael and I first started dating, which also taught me so much about the type of teacher/healer/space holder/community leader I want to be and don’t want to be. There is quite the collapse and revelation during this phase of Ascension going on of such false light structures and teachers as we ‘outgrow’ needing to go through this particular crucible anymore.

It is saddening to feel the power that is given away to these leaders who do not deserve it, the suffering caused to all….and the exploitation of the very deep draw they have to be in sacred union experience. The longing to be in union with the Divine is what I kept feeling as well was at the root of it…the Divine orphan aching to be ‘claimed’ again.

True divine counterparts have a ground of goodness and good will between them, cannot abuse each other or lie/deceive each other (certainly not taking out restraining orders on each other like in the doc!), and even if they can’t transact to be together due to personal choices, there is a sense of love and acceptance between them around this.

The ultimate purpose of the Divine Union Counterparts coming into reunion is to serve love with the Divine (not falsely claiming to BE god) and offer the template of moving out of separation and into union for others. It is not for personal gratification (other than what is healthy experienced as love with other), ‘hot sex’, making lots of money, having influence over others, etc.

All relationships are sacred, however, and teach us so much about love, worth, and mirrors of separation/union.

We share more about this way of transacting in Divine Union counterpart bonds in our Sacred Union virtual transmission circles offered monthly for men/women, just men and just women (with one coming up on 2/18) with more info at soulfullheart.org/sacredunionseries2024

I shared more about the Divine Union Counterpart pairbond source field and journeys to it with Raphael here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/…/journeying-to-the…

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Hello, I’m Jelelle. I’m in a long-term Divine Counterpart bond; a Divine Union & Ascension Teacher/Parts Work Facilitator and a spiritual writer. To find out more about me, have a look at my website or book a session with me.

I am the author of four books about emotional/spiritual awakening during Ascension, including Free To Be 5D: Navigating Ascension From The Inside Out, available on Amazon.

You can follow me on Facebook here.

Third Eye Chakra: Divine Self Embodiment Video Series W/Raphael & Jelelle Awen

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By Jelelle Awen

Third Eye Chakra Opening: Divine Self Embodiment Chakra Sound Healing Series

Your third eye opens up your seeing, your visions, your clairvoyance, and your inspired dreams. As you heal blocks and fears (usually due to persecution from this life and other lifetimes for sharing third eye gifts), you can see beyond the veil of your soul’s amnesia and 3D Matrix conditioning. You become truly free and limitless in where you can ‘go’ and what you can imagine/envision that often leads to manifestation in the physical.

In this video, SoulFullHeart Teachers Raphael and I, Jelelle, Awen are playing our 432 HZ tuned crystal and especially the third chakra bowl (A Note). The meditation that comes through us invites you to open your third eye chakra to envision and connect to a safe, pure, high dimensional space where you can be with parts of yourself and soul aspects. You create an anchoring bridge to safety, purity, and deep healing for yourself with your Divine Self as you open to this creativity, this power of your imagination, this access to your soul’s domains.

And we recode together, we affirm together: I am seeing beyond the veil. I am Divine Intuition. My imagination is open and active.

We tune into our Divine Self embodiment for both women and men, plus Divine Union codes for opening up clear seeing and transmit these codes also through light language and toning/singing together in healing harmonies.

This is the sixth video in the Divine Self Embodiment Chakra video series, where we offer a recoding/upgrade transmission for each 3D Body/Energy Field chakra to 5D frequencies of light body. This provides a templating for each chakra to upgrade, yet also activates on a cellular level the imprinting of the light body. And, supports the detox and clearing necessary for the 3D body/energy field as well in its experiences of inflammation, indigestion, injuries, and illness. The Divine self vessel of vital health is what is needed to hold the higher frequencies of light and love that are possible now and going forward in this Ascension process.

Donations are always welcome as energy exchange and to support our offerings with payment links at https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop

We’d love to hear and feel your movements, reactions, and processes that come up in response to this series. You can watch the entire series in a playlist here, including the previous videos:    • Heart Chakra: Divine Self Embodiment …  

We also offer livestream/virtual sound healings and local sound healing circles in Portugal with more info about future events and 1:1 sessions at https://www.soulfullheart.org/


Throat Chakra: Divine Self Embodiment Video Series W/Raphael & Jelelle Awen

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By Jelelle Awen

An open throat chakra allows for your truth to be heard and your voice to be freed. For so long our truth has been suppressed, blocked, and vilified by fear. NOW is the time for your voice to be freed by love. For your gifts to be shared. For your soul’s song to be sung.

In this video, Raphael and I, Jelelle, are playing our 432 HZ tuned crystal sound bowls and especially the sound bowl that activates/clears/opens your throat chakra (G Note). The meditation that comes through us invites you to open your throat chakra and connect to whatever sounds, tones, words, and light language want to come through. To allow what needs to be spoken to be freed and to release the fear in that movement.

And we recode together, we affirm together: I and my truth are One. I am transparent and authentic. I am Divine Truth.

We tune into our Divine Self embodiment for both women and men, plus Divine Union codes for opening up vulnerable truth telling and transmit these codes also through light language and toning/singing together in healing harmonies.

This is the fifth video in the Divine Self Embodiment Chakra video series, where we offer a recoding/upgrade transmission for each 3D Body/Energy Field chakra to 5D frequencies of light body. This provides a templating for each chakra to upgrade, yet also activates on a cellular level the imprinting of the light body. And, supports the detox and clearing necessary for the 3D body/energy field as well in its experiences of inflammation, indigestion, injuries, and illness. The Divine self vessel of vital health is what is needed to hold the higher frequencies of light and love that are possible now and going forward in this Ascension process.

Hope you can join us to take in each of these transmissions in your own pace and timing as a support of calibration to this 8 Divine Union year of 2024!

Donations are always welcome as energy exchange and to support our offerings with payment links at https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop

We’d love to hear and feel your movements, reactions, and processes that come up in response to this series. You can watch the entire series in a playlist here, including the previous videos:    • Heart Chakra: Divine Self Embodiment …  

We also offer livestream/virtual sound healings and local sound healing circles in Portugal with more info about future events and 1:1 sessions at https://www.soulfullheart.org/


Hope you can join us to take in each of these transmissions in your own pace and timing as a support of calibration to this 8 Divine Union year of 2024!

Donations are always welcome as energy exchange and to support our offerings with payment links at https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop

We’d love to hear and feel your movements, reactions, and processes that come up in response to this series. You can watch the entire series in a playlist here, including the previous videos:     • Sound Healing  & Light Language Trans…  

We also offer livestream/virtual sound healings and local sound healing circles in Portugal with more info about future events and 1:1 sessions at https://www.soulfullheart.org/