Risking Everything For Love

divingBy Sequoia Heartman

¨You can risk everything for the sake of love, or risk nothing for the sake of everything else.¨ – words offered by the Divine Mother

In the process of growth and awakening there are moments when you reach precipices of difficult choices. Your heart feels undernourished. Your soul is unfulfilled.

You know deep down something needs to change. You need to change. You are outgrowing your current frequency of residence. But there is fear. Of course there is. A part of you has gotten used to that frequency. It knows how it functions. It knows the rules of the game and how to stay safe. It has spent a long time keeping you safe. It did so in the name of love, at least the only version of love it has ever known.

Yet something greater is pressing on you. Another frequency of love that is calling you. Drawing you. It is not forcing anything upon you. You are just remembering how big you really are…and what you really are. But there is fear.

You may ask yourself, ¨Who is this ¨me¨ that I am being called to be and desiring to be at the same time? How will those I relate to, that a part of me holds dear, resonate with this new version of me? What if they don´t see me and want to come with me?¨

This is the choice. Do you risk life as you know it for an unknowable mystery fueled by passion, exploration, and love? There is no guarantee of how it will all unfold. No guarantee you will not get hurt or experience pain. But if you risk for real Love, the love of self, intimacy (not co-dependency) with others, and your God self, you will be rewarded with a life of meaning and joy beyond what you experience right now. Beyond what a part of you ever thought possible in the old frequency.

Or you can risk nothing for the sake everything else. The deadness. The suffering. The fear of never being truly loved when all you are currently getting are crumbs. You may think you know what love is but I am telling we haven´t the faintest clue.

It is bigger than what our brains can interpret and bigger than what our hearts can let in. That is why we are ever hungry for more because we are more. Always more. Infinitely.

Love wants to know itself through you. But it needs you to risk, let go, and surrender to what you feel is true in your heart and soul. There is a choice and yet none at all.  One courageous step at a time.

Sequoia Heartman is an apprentice facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

SoulFullHeart Subpersonalities Healing Process Video Part One

New video with Raphael and Jelelle Awen, co-creators and facilitators of the SoulFullHeart Way Of life, sharing about the awakening process that they offer and specifically how they work with subpersonalities, the ‘inner family’ to differentiate our personas or false self to arise into our authentic self or Divine self….part one! You can watch other videos on the SoulFullHeart Experience Channel.

Seek And Ye Shall Find You

By Raphael Awen


I know you’re out looking for something.

You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t. The same is true for me.

I have an answer for you today. And that answer is that I am not your answer. Your answer is YOU. If I am anything to you, I can only serve as a reflection to you of you. If you are anything to me, you can only serve as a reflection of me to me.

The something you are out seeking today is you. The something I am out seeking today is me.

I happen to know that you are seeking the fulfillment of your being in all of its aspects. You want to learn, to grow, to find meaning, to have purpose and passion in your life, and to share all of it in meaningful connection with yourself, with others and with the divine.

Why be here and why ‘do’ here if not for these things?

All of life is arrayed to help you find these things. You already have them, but admittedly, they aren’t your experience as much as you’d like them to be. Hence, you dare to desire, you dare to be out seeking. You dare to look to an other even.

But I can do absolutely nothing for you unless you are out to help yourself. In fact, if you make me your source, while refusing to be your own source, the result can only be abuse of each other.

You are the light of the world. You, as you are now, with your desires for growth and change, with your pains and wounds that you don’t let anyone see.

Love wants in to your defended and seeking heart. Love wants to bring you new reflectors of your essence. Love wants to invite you out to risk again.

Take this light that you are shine it into the world of your desire, your aches and your longings. Let love meet you, embrace you, hold you, reassure you.

Will you?

I know you’re out looking for something…

Seek and ye shall find.

Let nothing stop you. Be radical! Your life depends on it.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Letting Go of My Roots to Experience My Wings


 By Catalina Colibri

In some ways I feel like I am learning to fly, perhaps really for the first time in my life. I have been releasing what has been encumbering me for years…the roots of so much wounding that begins in different sources, and the roots of many long-held belief systems that have informed all of my life decisions.

Even this morning when trying to meditate I felt in my body a heavy weight. With so much going on in the content of my life this past week, it has been difficult to reach for the air of context at times. Yet the feeling in my body and heart this morning was palpable. It feels to me like another piece of my process with Kathleen…a part of me that holds my birth name and has done life as me until recently. It has been difficult at times to feel anything other than her, which is understandable since I am asking her to let go of so much in a very short window of time. In a way it has been a years-long process of letting go, or at least getting ready to…but there is another level of existence that I want to inhabit in my life now that is more positive and as done with self-punishment as it can be. I am getting ready to let in more love and actually, I am letting in more love every day, despite Kathleen’s filters. There is only so much that can go in when I have defences up in the form of doubts and negative thought patterns about myself.

Over the last few months I have been working intensely on noticing my negative thought patterns. This, in a way, seems like it is Spiritual Kindergarten to do so, but until now I just never felt so driven to go in and notice these patterns the way I am now, despite years of seeking. I feel this has to do with my level of self-love rising and that my desire for more self-love is at the wheel. I feel Kathleen can feel that and is learning how to lean into that more as we live out each moment of our life together. She has so many questions about who she is without these ingrained habits and ways of being. I get that and I hold with her the tension of it. At times it is like birth pains as I hold her hand and she aches with the tremors of letting go. She doesn’t want to run life anymore yet she has an attachment to doing so. This is what I am working on with her now.

When I talk about my roots and letting go of them, what I mean is I am letting go (and helping Kathleen let go) of the ways in which she has been in life. This includes all conditioning from birth family and the culture I grew up in, as well as all of the self-made rules of “how to be”. So much conditioning begins when we are children and a lot of it is subconscious while only a percentage of it is conscious – we learn directly and indirectly through punishments, energetic responses/reactions, rewards, and how our traumas are treated by those with authority over us. It is clear to me that even though my family may not have consciously intended to teach me how to find a flaw in even the brightest day, they still managed over countless instances to ingrain such programming inside me. The culture I grew up in in Canada had its own way of teaching me how to live life and what success meant. Some of these pieces were reiterated by family and others were negated. Pieces like how a woman’s body should look, for instance, has been a painful one for me to process and work through and now I am finally learning how to love my body through changes and not punish myself into losing weight. I am learning quickly that there is always a more self-loving way in which to do things and make positive life changes without having to walk through chaos or self-punishment.

And so my uprooting continues. The swings of feeling good and feeling down or heavy are moving through me as I embrace life in a new way. I am reaching a new stratum of my own sense of spirituality and what it means to be a vessel for love. I am enjoying giving and receiving love in a new way, starting with myself and overflowing to my relationship with the Divine and with those closest to me. I am even enjoying giving and receiving love with people I have met only over Facebook via the SoulFullHeart Circle group that was started about a week or two ago. It is amazing what has moved for Kathleen and I, just to feel my heart open up to let in more love and care that way. I am floored by even my own capacity to give love, let alone receive it.

I am continuing to walk out this new chapter with holding and feeling Kathleen and experiencing my expanding capacity to be with myself and others in this new way. Maybe you will meet me there?🙂

Catalina Colibri is an initiate of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more.

How To Energetically Clean A Home, Website, and Any Space

By Jelelle Awen



Do you notice how you are drawn to certain spaces and repelled by others? They could be nearly identical in décor and location, but the energy within them either repeals you or draws you in.

Why are some restaurants full of people and another one with equal quality of food and location sits empty? The energy inside the restaurant that is projected by the people who work there and the customers either draws people in or it pushes them away. Why do some places just give off ‘bad’ energy and others seem like a beacon of good energy?

We are all sensitive to energy, whether we are conscious of it or not, because we are all made up of energy and are not actual solid matter even though our very narrow of visible light spectrum reflects us as being solid. If we could widen our spectrum of visible light, we would see that we are made up of tendrils or tentacles of mostly white energy that look similar to fiber optic cables.

Since we are made up energy this means that the energy contained in spaces, and that includes virtual places such as websites, deeply impacts us. Usually this is an unconscious or subconscious reaction, although for those of us who have ‘woken up’ to our energy sensitivity, we are very aware of this and track it carefully. We avoid places that don’t feel energetically good to us and move toward those that do. We also transform spaces by clearing and cleaning out old energy and keep them cleaned out on a regular basis.

I became aware of my energetic sensitivity to spaces many years ago and since then, I have consciously interacted with the spaces that I live in and visit on an energetic level. We recently moved into a new apartment and the previous tenant was someone who seemed desperate for money and would lie and manipulate to get what he wanted. When we went to ‘see’ the apartment, it was difficult to feel that it was desirable even though it had features that we wanted, because this person’s energy filled the whole space. Most people would have walked away from it because of the energy that occupied it. I could feel that it was going to require a few days of concentrated effort to clear the space but that the ‘bones’ of it were exactly what we wanted. Beyond the decorative changes that we plan to make (new paint, beautiful things on the wall, plants), I knew that it was the energetic cleaning of the space that would make the most difference in its livability and desirability.

Energetically cleaning your house, space you are visiting, or even websites that you visit or run is not difficult at all. The first step is becoming conscious of how energy affects you in these spaces. What does ‘good energy’ feel like to you and what places represent that? What does ‘negative energy’ feel like to you and what places represent that? Certainly if you are a non-violent vegan then visiting a butcher’s shop or a website about meat would not hold good energy for you. You would probably consciously avoid things like this but, sometimes, we are subconsciously being drawn or repealed by energy and aren’t aware of it. Bringing it into our awareness is the first step.

Then, engaging in a simple visualization during meditation can move the negative energy out and clear the space. If it is your home, visualize a white glowing orb of energy in each corner of your house. Activate the orb with energy that you pull from the white energy that is all around you at all times. Move it through your seventh or crown chakra and pulse it into the orbs. Visualize the orbs collecting all the gray or black energy in the space and then shooting it up and out into outer space. Or you can imagine the orbs with grounding cords connecting to the core of the earth and the negative energy is moving out of them.

Engage in this visualization process every morning for the space that you live in and especially in the space that you work in every day. A big aspect of the antsy feeling that we get at the end of a work week (especially if we work in a building with florescent lighting in cubicles) is because of the accumulated energy that has built up and is being off gassed by people all the time. Most people are completely unaware of the energy that they give off in person and especially through email, facebook, or other virtual communication. People who are conscious of their energy then ‘take care’ of their energy every day through cleansing it in their chakras. I share here a simple cleaning and protection meditation for chakras.

Using sage or other cleansing herb can be very helpful in moving energy out of a space. Here in Mexico, there is a wonderful product called Copal, that is resin from a tree, and burning it or sage regularly can make a big difference. You can take the stick of incense or sage stick and wave it around the room, visualizing as you do the smoke moving the energy out of the room with it. You can combine the white orb visualization and the cleansing smoke one if you want.

When you go into a public place or visit someone’s house and you want to clean the energy, just visualize (even with your eyes open) a white tornado swirling around the room, swooping up all the dark energies, and then moving away with them. You can do this in seconds without anyone even noticing and it can make a big difference to how much you enjoy yourself. I especially do this if I am entering a busy public store (such as a grocery store), public transporation, or a restaurant and especially if I can feel that the space has never been energetically cleaned by anyone.

The same approach applies with any website or facebook page that you are visiting online. Most pages have never been energetically cleaned because most people don’t think of them as places even though they are as real as physical places. I think of websites and facebook timelines as being the same as visiting the room of someone’s house. I am very particular about which website pages that I visit for this reason as the energy can linger for awhile even if I clean it first. To clean a website, visualize a white energy swirl moving through every page of the website and every post on the facebook page. This can be a fast and efficient swirl that collects the accumulated energy and deposits it away.

I clean my facebook page and the SoulFullHeart website and this blog nearly every day. We get positive comments from people about the good energy of our websites and facebook pages and I think this is one of the reasons why. Remember that every person who has taken in your posts or websites has had an emotional reaction (usually subconscious) of some kind to them which off gases as an energetic response. Even if they are mostly positive, this still builds up over time and can make it ‘very crowded’ in a virtual space. The worst feeling websites to me are those that draw a lot of comments from the general public about topics that are highly charged such as politics, religion, etc. Parts of people can be cruel, aggressive, and very ‘kicking’ in these forums and usually no one has cleaned out this energy and so it draws more of the same.

I want to finish this with some signs for you to start tracking in yourself so that you can become more conscious of how energy in spaces is impacting you. We often manifest energetic reactions in our physical bodies since it is our etheric or subtle body (including our chakras) which is actually most interfacing with our external environment. Body reactions such as headaches, light headedness, allergies, cold or flu symptoms, and nausea can indicate that we have been impacted by negative energies. Headaches in particular can mean this as it is the third eye or sixth chakra and the pineal gland that is so sensitive to energies.

Tracking our reactions to energies and being conscious about cleaning the energy of spaces that you live and visit allows us to be much more consciously discerning about the energies that we want to be around because we don’t want to have to do a bunch of clearing! Doing this regularly can clear up our capacity to let in the joy, goodness, and love all around us.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.


Love Your Desires And Let Them Have A Rightful Place In Your Being

By Raphael Awen


This morning, I continue feeling an angelic connection, and this is my best and momentary interpretation into words of his energy and message. I invite you to feel it for yourself. I think your own Angels will want to dance with you around this subject. 🙂

If there is a sense inside of you that you desire life as you know it to be different in some way, it means you are alive.

How does it feel to be you, inside of your body, inside of your mind, inside of your emotional body? Is it normal for you to have and feel and experience the wanting of something different? Something new?

Of course you do. It’s the foundation of every sales pitch that’s ever been made and ever will be made to you in your life. If you are alive, you want. The illusion of being totally satisfied with life as you know it is not actually possible given the infinite ever expanding reality of life and love.

You may well have constructed the illusion that life as you know it is as good as it gets, but life itself doesn’t support this illusion, and soon enough, you have to again face your wanter.

So great is this unrelenting power of life itself, (that you chose to be a part of incidentally, there are no victims here), that many have worked long and hard to envision a spirituality that is shorn of all want. It is in wanting and seeking they say that all suffering originates. I say the exact opposite. It is in suppressing your wanting and desiring nature where your suffering is found.

You see, to have a want is one thing, but to admit it, to feel it, to make it conscious is a most vulnerable thing, and for this reason, most will need to find more courage to come to this place. The vulnerability I speak of is found in this conscious admission of a desire that you are asked to feel when there is not a conscious guarantee that you will ever have the desired thing or attain the desired state of being.

To what degree are you willing to feel a desire, to let it really come alive in you, when you can’t see or feel that thing emerging on your horizon? Then of course the next question comes; what life form or God would implement such a form of self abuse, to be given to longing for things you have no way of obtaining?

Let’s let that question bake for a moment and come back to it later. Let’s return to the earlier question. Do you even have desire? Feel it from a chakral perspective. In your grounding in the earth, do you feel a desire to feel more secure, more loved? In your creativity and sensuality, do you feel desire there? How about your personal power, do you feel power in life? Go to the heart chakra now, can you see more room for more self love, more and deeper connection with others? What about your expression in the world, your voice, any room for more there? What about your third eye experience? Any desire for deeper clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, to enter the magical and mystical as normal as walking the dog? Moving to the crown chakra, could you handle some more God connection? Could you handle feeling more like the God-human that you are? What would that look and feel like?

Okay, that was a lot just now. Thank you for hanging in there with me. When I feel each of my chakras, I feel desire flowing from each one. I am profoundly dissatisfied in the midst of my deep and profound satisfaction. I want more. The more I taste and feel love, the more I want. If this is not your admitted reality, I must ask, to what degree are you even alive?

Is that question offensive? Of course it is to the satisfied soul. Offence is a risk I am willing to take, for it is a much smaller price to pay than losing you to the cult of false satisfaction. If I must part with you for lack of resonance, let it be sacredly and lovingly marked with this soul angst and conflict. Let us not dis-serve ourselves in an illusion of unconditional love. Not here, on this all too important ground.

Bear with me, bear with desire, bear with these words a moment more. But only if you want to.

Yes, you desire. I desire. Truth be told, sometimes I feel like nothing more than desire.

Returning now to the question we left to bake a moment ago…is it not pure sadomasochism to hold this kind of desire with no ability to attain those desires? Of course it is. What kind of universe would ask you to long and desire for things only to gloat in your not being able to attain or obtain them?

Can you feel where this is leading? The desire itself is programmed to take you to its fulfillment. You must begin with owning desire and then let desire lead you to all the courage and grace necessary to walk that out.

I will pause here, and let you digest this opening of your desire.

Love your desire, let your desire have its rightful place in your being.

Thank you for taking this in, feeling and digesting this energy together. Let’s feel where our desire is leading us.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more. 

Introducing SoulFullHeart Video

Raphael and Jelelle Awen are co-creators and facilitators of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, an awakening and healing process in the both the domains of the heart and soul that leads to both individuation (ego maturation) and union/intimacy with self, others, and the Divine. In this video, they share the energy that they call “SoulFullHeart” and extend an invitation for you to join them through sessions and a private circle on Facebook. Love wants to reveal itself through you….visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Afterglow Of Our Tears: Feel, love, and heal

By Raphael Awen


Upstream of the negativity, we find our deepest fears, our un-manifest soul longings, and our regrets as well as our remorse, that will need to be brought out into the light of day and into the hearth of your heart for any epic change to occur to the flow of the magic in your life.

Lately, I’ve been feeling retracing some steps into a career thing of the past, and have been faced with some fears of simply repeating the past as opposed to inhabiting a new place and way of being inside of myself that is a much deeper manifestation of my true soul power. In my quandary, I feel a guidance coming from an angel connection that I envision.

The Angel’s name is Marcel, and these are the words and feeling tones he presses upon me and offers me to feel as well as to share as a new reality offering to live into:

There is never actually a lacking magic or power in your life. There is never the absence of the largesse of your being in your life. You will not one day learn how to be or do something more or differently than you presently are and then have a more fulfilling life or more magical life.

Your power and largesse of your magnificent being is here and fully present right now. This potent power may well be in subconscious service to your fears and staying small, but the power, your power is not absent or un-manifest, or lacking.

A powerful magic is currently directing, leading and populating your life as you know it right now.

The only thing that can bring true and deep change in your life is you awakening to and taking responsibility for this present power and magic of yours….making it conscious. Only then can you place your power in service of living into your bigness instead of your smallness.

When you make this choice, you will face directly the conditioning, the fears, the pain that underlies the current or past configuration of your not so magical feeling life. For this reason, most have not yet found the courage to embrace their power. However, facing and feeling and healing these ‘negatives,’ is the only way to the life you seek and desire.

Humankind moved in the direction of the solution to identify positive thinking as an answer, and to recognize the power of negativity, but has largely yet to look at what underlies the negativity. Here, upstream of the negativity, we find our deepest fears, our un-manifest soul longings, and our regrets as well as our remorse, that will need to be brought out into the light of day and into the hearth of your heart for any epic change to occur to the flow of the magic in your life.

When, and as this happens, everything changes. Nothing can stay the same, for the power holding an old configuration in your life has been fundamentally and irrevocably changed.

Feel your desire for these changes. Allow to come up to be felt every feeling energy that opposes this desire. Feel it, love it and heal it. This is not anything like cycling in a suffering loop of negativity. This is the bridge you must cross, that most aren’t yet willing to cross, out of the fear of their own manifest bigness.

Ask for help. Feel the divine feel you as you feel and heal all there is to feel. Let the dam of your tears break out. Feel the fear of never changing, of remaining stuck, of remaining un-manifest, of not showing up for your life. Don’t leave a single tear unshed.

Now, in the afterglow of your tears, there is an unmistakeable grounding and support – your always present magic, but now manifesting an entirely new arising world and universe.

You are now entering a parallel universe that is nothing less than your deepest dreams and desires arising into life as you never knew it before.

If these words resonate for you, I’d love to feel what you are feeling as you resonate. Say something! Claim something for yourself. I’d like to help you in any way I can if you are ready to take these steps to help yourself.

Love from Raphael and Marcel

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more. 

Claim Back Your Own Magic

By Raphael Awen


Every nuance or tsunami of feeling that moves through my being, whether in reaction to circumstance or simply an arising tide inside of me, I am responsible for. I am responsible for it because I created it.

If my heart and mind cannot accept this responsibility and take ownership of it, then this reality too, I have created by forcing this awareness of my creative power into my subconscious. This however does not make it any less true.

Everything that is occurring in my life is a projection of this powerful creative reality. I create my feeling states and my feeling states then in turn go on to create, shape and fashion my experience.

There can be no fundamental change in my life until I come to new and conscious terms with my creator essence. One of the most powerful shadow expressions of this creative power is seen in people’s ability to suppress this truth and keep it well off their radar. There is no lack of magic and alchemy; there is only the question of how it is being related to.

I pledge anew to take responsibility for my own needs, wants, wishes and desires. I pledge to no longer hold life, or God, or my mate, or my body chemistry, or society responsible for my fulfillment.

I am truly sorry for having lived in these dead and life sucking frequencies and for the energy I placed into our magical collective. I forgive myself and accept that this too was all part of my creation and growth path.

I claim back and surrender to my own magic.

I enter this day and moment as the creator God (capital ‘G’ intended) that I am. I accept all that comes, as more opportunity to live and love into this never ending learning.

I invite you to connect with me as deeply as you want to in living into this new reality. You are invited to join our private group called Soulfullheart Circle on facebook if you haven’t already and we can connect some more there.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

You Are Your Own Saviour and Saboteur

By Raphael Awen


You are your own saviour and saboteur, both.

What it feels like and looks like and is like to be doing your life as you…is all created by you. There is no ‘other’ of any kind to blame or to credit for the life you live. Not mate, not friend, not parents, not god, nada.

Your life evolved through and by your choices. Even the wounding experiences you experienced were not random, or the act of some malevolent power greater than you. You as a soul choose and allowed what would play out in your life.

You choose this journey of coming to terms with your own greatness, and included every detail that would form your growth path, your awakening path.

Your deepest pains and challenges can either be used to weave a victims’ claim together in surrender to the fear of your own greatness, or they can be the stuff you were sovereignly given, by your sovereign self to manifest in this domain your true essence.

Staying small is also a great act by a great and powerful being. Rising to your greatness in your awareness is also an equal expression of your greatness.

The universe is quite ambivalent to your choice, supporting you whichever direction you choose, because it can’t save you from anything. It can’t choose anything for you. It follows your lead.

You are your own universe. Totally magical. Totally powerful.

Can anything matter more than finding, feeling and healing whatever challenges stand between you and this great truth. Choose life, choose love, choose carefully the help you need.

Your choice and your desire are your most powerful allies.

I would be so honoured, along with my beloved, Jelelle, to serve you through any transition points you are making. We have both walked this path and continue to. Life has changed for us in unimaginable ways, and never stops changing.