Moving Beyond Our Fears To Embrace Our Infinite Bigness Video

By Raphael Awen

“What we really fear at a deep core level are not the things that we think we fear. What we really fear is our own bigness. Our bigness isn’t just big, it is infinitely big.”

Raphael Awen narrates his own words in this video’s powerful and inspirational message of embracing our fears in order to heal them, the truth of our Divine essence, and how to decondition our fears. Raphael is co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, an awakening and healing process in the both the domains of the heart and soul that leads to both individuation (ego maturation) and union/intimacy with self, others, and the Divine.

“Let love collide with the reality you’ve conditioned yourself to…”. You can go here to read the words.

Visit for more information.

What We Really Most Deeply Fear Is Our Bigness

By Raphael Awen


Something will hold our fear.

Fear is a form of reverence. That which we fear, we revere. We fear and revere things that we perceive as bigger than us. We fear god, circumstances, illness, etc. as things or beings that are bigger than us and that we are thus subject to. I might want this, but god might want something different for me that I don’t want.

All of this is a product of making ourselves small.

What we really fear at a deep core level are not the things that we think we fear. What we really fear is our own bigness. Our bigness isn’t just big, it is infinitely big. Anything that we can’t define, refine or confine, we fear, and understandably so.

So we set out to manage ourselves. We manage life instead of letting in life. We see ourselves as subject to life, rather than the subjects of life. We choose a perception of a scarcity-based relationship to life because of the utter fear of falling prey to unlimited abundance.

It is actually way easier for parts of us to shut down our desire for more and just live with the dampened desire and dampened disappointment than it is to open ourselves full throttle to the level of desire and abundance that our being actually is. Here again is the deep core fear we run from.

How might we change this?

Because we live as conditioned beings, and we have conditioned ourselves to a lesser-reality which has become our ultimate-reality, then it follows that letting in new and truer reality will happen for us as we entertain and let in that new reality. We begin to become reconditioned to a new reality. Nothing happens without our consent and choice in our personal kingdoms and queendoms because we are the sovereign of our own domains.

There is still a deep place for surrender to the divine in all of this, it’s just that you can’t take yourself out of the divine equation. By that, I mean, you can’t externalize God and surrender to God. This is a form of keeping intact the small-you reality. You can’t separate yourself from divinity, try as you may.

Many will chafe at this idea of seeing themselves as god. How sacrilegious they exclaim. What we define as blasphemy is in service of the gods of our own creation. The gods we create are created out of our deepest fears that we haven’t yet felt.

Time and time again, life faces us with our infinite bigness, awaiting our surrender, our exploration, our reverence for all that is, and all that is in us, and though us, and to us….You are ‘divinity out divining’…. as you are now; as you are desiring to be; and as you will more and more come to terms with every day.

Feel your fears. They are one of the single truest things about you. So are your desires. Feel them too. Own it all. Let in the tears of having muffled both your real and deepest fears as well as your desires.

Let love collide with the reality you’ve conditioned yourself to.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information.

Offering Love During An Etheric Visit To Standing Rock

By Jelelle Awen


Here, as I etherically visit Standing Rock, North Dakota during meditation, I see and feel a village, a town, that is coming together, forming together through passion, purpose, and awakening. The foundations of this village are about protecting that which brings life, the waters that have long been polluted, long been corrupted, long been taken for granted. The foundations of this village are about a sense of spontaneous community where the heart of sacred humanity beats like the drums to unify, serve, and witness.

The smoke from camp fires is thick, crowding the air. The noise is the thickest of all but it is not destructive noise. It is drumming from many different groups clustered together in undulating circles of bodies, soft limbs beating on hard surfaces, trying to beat away the hardness of fear. It is chanting, the range of feminine to masculine, joining together in old words that have little meaning in modern language. It is talking, communicating to put together meals to feed many people food donated from all over the world.

I offer an energetic touch of love to those that I pass over, desiring to provide even for a moment a boost for them to keep going, a sense of support and union. It feels like some of this goes in and some are starving for it, their heart chakras strained from so much output. The rivers that are the reason for it all feel like lazy witnesses, neutral in comparison to the charged energy around them.

The most intense energies are in an area that they call the ‘frontlines’, war lingo, and here I feel more of the darker entities that are feeding off the intensity of the stand, the fear of love pulsing against love itself……I touch the hearts of these entities too and the police that stand with blank faces and plastic shields that cover over a cascade of conflicting emotions inside of them. Their inner conflict is a desire to just go or to join in with the protectors, but the duty, the money, the uniform…it binds parts of them to stay, to use water itself as a weapon against those there to protect it.

Floating above the camp are many etherial beings polarized to love, offering showers of pure energy to those below….to raise the vibration, to soothe the parts of people that are in trauma and in rage. Joining them are others like me, traveling in the way that suits them without body. These others are offering love too in the form of energy and we acknowledge each other with a gentle nod. Native ancestral spirits hover here too, connected to the lineage and history of this land and this stand.

Time is not linear here, but layered, this standoff is already in the grids and has already happened….it is an unhealed wound in the collective unconscious, it is an unhealed wound in the third dimension known as the ‘United States’. There is only love to offer here and only love to heal the fear and the wounds caused by it.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, facilitator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information. 

Be IN the world, not OF the world…..yet care FOR the world

By Jelelle Awen with Yeshua

Be in the world, not of the world…..yet care for the world. ~

You are in the world, bring your heart with you, feel your surroundings and those who call you into connection. You are in a human body, bring your health to it, feel your embodiment as sacred and the desires that flow from it. You are in a culture, bring your celebration of it, feel how it impacts you and forms you.

You are not of the world, it is not a reflection of that which you are really made and ARE. Participate in the world even while remembering that you are not just it…not your name, your occupation, your body, your income, your home, your history, your culture. Remain with some separation from it so that you can retain the essence of what you ARE as Infinite Love.

You are care for the world, bring your compassion with you, feel the tears of the world and those cries that call you to respond. Serve love as the greatest gift for yourself, others, and with the Divine God in all Its glorious forms, including YOU. Remember to respond to fear with love, not more fear, and you offer a new possibility to each moment. ~

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about awakening and healing sessions with her. 

All that we experience as life is given in Love held by Love for Love


By Jelelle Awen

This image feels similar to the space I was guided to today…higher frequencies, beyond five senses, where all is made of white filaments with rainbow auras. I was just overcome by the brightness and beauty of it all, especially human beings in their essence as Infinite Love, too bright to even look in the eyes.

Hours (no time really) I floated here, dimensional traveling, Angels and guides surrounding me…..and yet also feeling the core of my heart beating strong even as my body became lighter and lighter. Feels like it was an energetic boost to allow more overflow to others, more love, stillness, and less reactivity. What a gift!

My body reacted initially with some pain last night as a portal of some sort opened, a vortex, and yet it is moving now…birth pains held with Infinite Love and seemed to serve a purpose. Shook off some negative entities that had attached along the way, like being dipped in bright love and all the dark falling off.

I would not be able to let this in without also going to the tears (and there were those too), saying goodbye and letting go to what I thought was my purpose and my place to serve it, allowing the part of me that was so invested to feel sad….tears even with a smile as I realized that it is all given in Love held by Love for Love….

Much Love is moving from my heart to those who read these words, may you feel the energy of it and let it in whatever way you feel to…

You are much bigger and brighter than you can even imagine!


Jelelle Awen is co-creator, facilitator, and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information. 


I cannot make you grow with me, only invite you to come along


by Jelelle Awen

I cannot make you grow with me, only invite you to come along………’Shrinking to fit’ in relationships with others is one of the biggest ways that we cap our soul bigness and keep our hearts more closed related to transacting intimate love with ourselves, others, and the Divine. These shrinking dynamic happens when parts of us conform to others expectations, ideas, and roles about who we are rather than being who we really are. In the SoulFullHeart process, we see parts of us as subpersonalities that form when traumas and hurts happen that are not digested in the moment and so become clogged and blocked energy patterns and behaviors.

Instead of shrinking to fit to maintain the ‘old’ and comfortable ground of transaction, we begin to stretch and challenge that ground as we awaken and heal into more expression of our authentic self.

Real and authentic connection between people cannot be lost, it only deepens and is revealed with healthy shifts and changes in each person. If it doesn’t deepen yet instead completes, then the connection was based in more grounds of compensation, codependence, and emotional binds than it was in resonance, interdependence and healthy bonds.

This can be a very painful process of completion with much opportunity to feel the deeper aspects of ourselves that were being mirrored and projected in the relationship onto the other person or people. Held with love and an open heart, the process can be very transformational with a possibility of new openings in the future in the relationship.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, facilitator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit for more information. 

Life Transitions, Trust, And Surrender

by Jelelle Awen


Raphael and I were just digesting how much has changed for us since coming into Puerto Vallarta exactly five months ago. We had about $40 on us with just enough money coming in to live very cheaply for he and I plusLeena Colibri and Sequoia Heartman. Prior to that, we had been living for 19 months in a remote setting, off-grid, limited to no internet connection and our nest egg that we brought with us from Canada to buy land, etc. had been spent six month’s earlier.

Thanks to the efforts of Leena and Sequoia teaching english online, we were able to move to Puerto Vallarta so that all of us could be together in community. For a month, we lived in a space with three rooms, with Leena and Sequoia sharing a bedroom with two twin beds. We got our three bedroom apartment after the first month and at least could all have our own bedrooms. We felt grateful for everything that we had even though it was very little. Living on our ranch, eating what came from our gardens and very simple food, not going to restaurants or movies or shopping…it had taught us to appreciate the very simple things in life and that which matters the most: love and connection.

Eventually, people began to become drawn to SoulFullHeart and having sessions with us, all through connecting here on Facebook. We had only been on FB for about three months prior to that, so it was all very new to us. We didn’t and don’t have a ‘marketing or sales strategy’, we are just ourselves as much as possible – offering a way of life and process that we live as our daily reality within community. I was shocked and stunned in a very good way to begin serving women in session space after letting all of it go in terms of being a ‘teacher’ or ‘facilitator’ and surrendering it to the Divine while I was at the ranch.

Just this last month, through a freelance opportunity for a tech startup, we are earning quite good money (especially for Mexico) plus with facilitation donations and Leena and Sequoia’s pay as teachers. We are now able to afford eating in restaurants, to buy new clothing (after two years of wearing the same things all the time), and for Leena and Sequoia to rent their own separate studio apartments that happen to be in the same building as us! This living arrangement more fits our vision of sharing community space for meals and group circles when desired and for everyone to have their own individual living spaces otherwise.

The Divine has given us so much since coming to the city….abundance in the form of people and, yes, in the form of money. Our desires that had been suppressed somewhat on the ranch are now coming forward for higher quality things that will last over time, not fall apart, and are truly worth the money. We are also now dreaming of buying land in San Sebastian where our SoulFullHeart community may come about, in addition to or in place of the ranch.

So much trust and surrender has been needed over the last few years….willingness to live with very little, ‘give up’ so much of what we thought mattered, only to be shown over and over that when we are not expectant or entitled so much love can come to us and in so many forms! Now, that we are going to visit the ranch again for a few days starting tomorrow, we can check in with who we are now, who we were then, and maybe get some sense of who we will become….although that, of course, is in Divine hands!

* This photo is of the cabana that we built out of cob (clay, sand, water, and straw) and some of our organic gardens on our plot of land called “Tranquila” at the ranch.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, facilitator, and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information.

Being Cautious About Moon Energies

By Jelelle Awen


I feel this sense of curiosity about the moon, and, also, hesitancy as well. This Super moon gives me the sense of a giant beacon being turned on and a sense of uneasiness comes up with that. There are many people who feel that the moon is much more than what we have thought it to be, that it is actually a space ship, that it is actually a broadcast center that helps to keep the matrix grid activated around the earth’s hemisphere that serves as a prison for humans in which outside forces feed off of our lower vibrational frequencies….David Icke in particular is a resource to learn more about this and Bernhard Guenther as well.

I don’t have nor am I offering clarity about what the moon actually is, yet, I do feel that drawing energies directly from it in order to cleanse or purify or illuminate (as many seem to be doing) doesn’t feel like the healthiest course of process to me. There is an assumption about moon energies being positive based on primarily older paradigms of moon worship, etc. Yet, in that assumptive place, I feel like there is a chance of drawing in negative entities or bringing them closer into your field by accessing this intense energy.

I most want to just bring in the question about the purity of the moon’s energies so that each person could feel into for themselves and see what their heart intuition is about and go from there. I do feel my guides are agreeing with this as I’m writing it and offering for people to access energy from only white or pure energy sources in which they can trust where they are coming from. My instinct is to energetically protect myself and not delve too deep into inner emotional places in the moment until the sky is dark and the moon more hidden.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information.

Video Offering Loving And Higher Consciousness Thoughts On Election And Changes, Etc.

By Jelelle Awen

This is an uncomfortable, painful, and difficult current phase of deconstruction and transition that we are living through which is reflected in all of recent changes, including the recent presidential election. Jelelle Awen is co-creator, facilitator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, and in this video, she talks about the current transition, invites you to feel the reactions that parts of you have to this phase of time, along with holding and surrendering to the bigger context around it offered by the Divine of rebirth. She also talks about the ‘prison’ that is created by our lowered consciousness, taken advantage of by outside influences, and why parts of us have difficulty to ‘break free from it’ with the conditioning that we receive from our culture. Please visit for more about Jelelle, free intro sessions, writing, etc. and our youtube channel for more videos.

Matched by Love



By Leena Colibri

“Wanna wrestle?” Love asks, “it’s no fun without you”.

“Don’t I already?”

“When you want to stop, when you would rather not, when you are tired, just tell me.”

“Does that mean you’ll go away?”

“Only the human who can ask this in earnest gets any sort of answer that could satisfy them. I do not satisfy on command, but seek to satiate myself and my needs first.”

“And with me that comes down to wrestling right now?”

“…if you would like.”

“But is that what you want, Love?”

“Perhaps. If it is what part of you wants.”

“…I like you, Love. I feel my parts are feeling some liking of you too.”

“🙂 ”

“…can we go slow?”

“…of course, Loved one. Though I can’t guarantee that I won’t still win!!”

“You’re on!” “…Love…I think I want you to win.”

“Good. I was right about you then. But I still want to be matched. I still want us to challenge each other. I still want to work to find my openings in you, just as you seek to find more of me. We will get there, Loved one. If we can just keep going. I know I want to keep going more rounds with you.”

“Me too, Love. Me too.”

Leena Colibri is an apprentice facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit for more information.