Inner & Outer Feminine/Masculine Union Balance

By Jelelle Awen

Oh, how the inner feminine will want to go soft at times. To cry. To grieve. To REALLY feel what is going on that causes her heart to ache. She will BE with the longings and the missing without trying to fix or manage. Then, she can feel judged as oversensitive or too reactive by others and try to suppress her feelings….usually without success and not for very long. She may lash out in frustration, dissatisfaction and sense of injustice that her feelings have not been given enough space when they haven’t within her own heart.


And the inner masculine, then, doesn’t know what to DO with her or how to help. He feels locked in and also locked out, especially if she becomes protective of her feelings and won’t share. He just has an impulse to solve it, as if he could fix himself if he can fix her. He wants to be seen and appreciated by her always for his efforts, yet also fears disappointing her and being inadequate. He resists her tenderness and his own at times, afraid of being hurt again.


This distorted dance of inner feminine and masculine seems to be so common, so conditioned, and modeled for us in so many ways, starting from our own parents. I felt recently new layers of sorting through of the inner masculine and inner feminine dynamics within myself, triggered by being here on these powerful Michael Divine Mascline, and Mary Divine Feminine lines. I have also seen these masculine/feminine sortings out in those in my small community of beloveds, in my relationship with Raphael (although we are in a current blissy merging phase after some initial conflicts when we got here to Avalon) and in women I have met with for sessions recently.


There’s nothing wrong in the push and the pulls, yet it can be challenging when these energies within are not on the same ‘page’, the desires are diverging, and conflict arises. This is the same mixed experience as what so commonly occurs on the outside in relationships as well. I have so learned that experience of relationships with others can’t be shifted into new grounds until it is from within. New and deeper possibilities of intimacy arise initially from within and can then be transacted with others rather than just a focus on the outside dynamics, which is so common.


I always come back to the inner union to see what its status is when there are mixed feelings going on. As I hold space for my inner feminine (however she is needing to show up) and my inner masculine (who is quite soft at this point), they can find their connection with me, the Divine, and each other. They can move into their dance again, in flow, and ultimately….as is always the desire…into balance.


This reunion within then flows into my sacred union relationship with Raphael with new grounds of connection and exploration now possible. One day I am in tears and holding space for my feminine and bridging to my masculine so he can be felt too. And the next, I am in bliss lovemaking and connection energies with Raphael. From within and then out draws the experience of joy, bliss, and balance with a beloved mate that feels like a deep merging even while you remain two separate consciousnesses.

The ache for sacred union is consciously felt in many people…a ‘mate ache’, I have called it. Yet, the desire for inner union of your masculine and feminine may be less known and cultivated. That inner union ache is powerful to follow and does seem to ultimately draw your precious sacred union partner too.

Here is a guided meditation with Raphael and I to connect to your inner masculine and feminine: https://youtu.be/nvi_m4i1KvQ


love,

Jelelle Awen

Join Kasha and I for an Avalon Activation women’s group call on Sunday, September 20 at 5:00pm BST (9:00am PDT) with teachings, meditation, and personal sharings by donation. We will share these Avalon energies that invite the inner masculine/feminine flow. More information at soulfullheart.org/womengroupcalls


More information about 1:1 soul initiation/emotional-Karma Trauma healing sessions with me for women over Zoom and here in-person in Glastonbury and with other Facilitators at soulfullheart.org/sessions

Welcome Home To Sacred You: A Transmission From Avalon

by Kasha Rokshana

It flows through the heart and into the fingers, this energy of new magic and profound feelings.

It strums on the strings of the heart-bass and moves into the throat to be sung.

It rings in the resonance of a thousand inner bells, calling homeward the soul dying to the life it once knew and coming home to itself, renewed.

It brings around again another sense of you, a sense of who you are and are going to be.

It reminds you that all you need is within you and that the rest is window-dressing, perhaps needed for a time but not for always since the falsely attained can never be woven into the fabrics of the real.

The fyres of the flights of angelic beings singing in the hollowness of inner space, a void yet filled too, to the brim, like that of a chalice holding the waters of new life.

You are that new life…

The renewal tydes are here.

Will you come home to them and let them change you from deep within, or will you turn and face the day that’s known yet no longer bringing with it the purest sunshine of your fyres alight with newness?

Your own savvy moves inward and breathes outward. It’s service and it’s beyond the beyond.

It’s a tap turned on that flows in old canals. You’re being, you’re learning to be, you’re remembering to breathe and look within.

Know, understand, behold that you are loved in this transition.

When the ground feels vacant beneath your tired feet, remember you are held in those clouds of the unknown. The clearing is already underway. Feel it, know it… live into it.

You’re bringing all that’s known and unknown to the surface and you’re changing before your very heart eyes.

Bring yourself back home to that house built within.

You’re finding your way in a path long carved out by your soul.

Welcome home.

Love,

Avalon 🌹

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about FREE consultation calls, space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

A Man’s Inward Holy Grail Quest To Find Real Worth, Value And Meaning

By Raphael Awen

King Arthur’s knights were ever drawn to escape the mundane, the everydayness of their lives. 

These sensitive and hungry souls had grown to despair of the emptiness of their culture, and their lives within that culture. 

They sought an escape into deeper meaning and purpose and an outer form of nobility and purpose to answer an inner unfelt loss of connection with their own nobility. God forbid that they should live out their days without a conscious quest to fill their sails. 

Is a monk of any stripe really any different? Or a renunciant – one who gives up something lesser for the attainment of something higher? What about the man seeking to make himself ‘independently wealthy’ – having no need of anyone or anything, or the hedonist pursuing every pleasure that men may come to know? The hedonist and the renunciant share a common hunger for something truly comforting.

So common to men of any background is the seeking of purpose and power within that purpose. Men are fleeing meaninglessness. Men will readily settle into a career or a family role because it stems this aching pain and discomfort coming from not knowing and feeling who they really are at a deeper level. 

Men who are not in touch with these deeper needs, the ones that really drive them, are then easily manipulated by agendas too numerous to mention – be they of the highest spiritual orders or the lowest callings known to men. Wouldn’t most of us trade in control or our sovereignty in exchange for comfort?

Men want more than anything to feel good about themselves, and if that means dedicating one’s life to helping others in order to feel good about themselves, then so be it, as long as it promises that they will get to feel good about themselves in the end.

The problem however comes in the constant delay of that promise – the futureness of it. ‘I’m so noble, I can delay my gratification of this need till later, in service of others.’ Men slip into settling for any kind of lessening of their pain of their disconnect from actually knowing and feeling their worth and their meaning, having long ago settled that they are not meant to ever know or actually live from a place of their worth, their value and true comfort. 

True embodied worth, that flows from within, that doesn’t rely on any outer circumstance or creed, that you can feel, that can colour your moments with the deepest creativity and engagement has long been written off as a dream, a myth. We are only left with a kind of nobility that makes the best of a really hopeless situation.

These kinds of dedicated happy campers, god bless them, are everywhere. Each of them with their alms begging bag extended before them. ‘Bestow upon me some spare change of worth and acknowledgment for the choices I have made and the example I am willing to be, during such a time of unprecedented loss’.

This all hits so close to home for me. At fourteen, I recall feeling so bored of being bored, longing to find freedom in anything that promised relief. The Christianity of my family heritage felt so compromised and lacking in passion, that I broke away into something much more engaging with a much higher bar of commitment and dedication. As a man to be, I needed to set my sail with a worthy quest to navigate the sea of meaninglessness that was all too real on every side, at every turn. 

It has taken a number of decades this life, and in numerous lifetimes beyond this one, to get to the place where I can feel that the true holy grail quest; from which flows every grail quest; from which flows every draft of any purpose ever imagined or set sail into; is actually about realizing the value and worth that lives inside, that has always lived inside, that awaits our choice and discovery. I can say I am truly coming to know and feel this worth and have my own experiential emerging felt reality of this kind of aliveness. I also feel the invitation for this to be the magic of an ongoing process, rather than some quest-ending instant gratification of these god given and god being kind of needs.

Only a man in growing touch with this inner worth has hopes of being enough for a woman, for a career, for a calling, for a quest, for belonging to a true circle of men who live in shared resonance with one another.

Having landed here in Glastonbury, England, a ‘fortnight’ ago, I am especially feeling King Arthur as a Metasoul brother wanting to digest and feel together with me the dissonance that still lives in men, especially in the men of the highest attainments, whether of spiritual or material pursuits. He says, ‘We got hoodwinked into thinking that if we chose nobility, duty and obligation, we would be guaranteed to find the deepest fulfillment, only to come full circle, after a long time spent in the desert in that lease of consciousness, and patterned brotherhood, having attained many things that felt so meaningful at the time, only to find out that we were ever still searching for the true holy grail, which was hiding all that time in plain sight, and yet for most, still remains hidden.’

The problem now comes in when feeling how to embrace such an inner quest without needing to enroll men into it for the purpose of feeling better about ourselves. Men must choose this for themselves, in their own time of sacred awakening, when the clock has run out of the necessary time spent in these previous domains – all of which are equally sacred and necessary to the inhabitation of the quest now arising. It can’t and won’t arise until it does.

I’m returning today and plan to return many times to the burial site and tomb of King Arthur here in Glastonbury inside of the Abbey ruins to feel this great cycle of death and rebirth that all men and mankind must grow into and go through. The once great Abbey that was the wealthiest in all of England, that held so much power and purpose in its many iterations over many centuries, by and for men of so many stripes, is seen to be coming from a worldview of domination, both of oneself and of others. Men of meaning and influence had to be in exchange with this centre of power to be granted lease and influence among men. Now, it sits in ruin as a 3D tourist attraction for tourists to scratch their heads in bewilderment at how and what such a thing was really about. 

I feel Arthur saying that he knows all too well now, what such a thing was all about – It was about the willingness of men and women to pool unimaginable resources into a patched together harmonious flow that promised this deliverance from meaninglessness. It was ultimately and humbly to serve as a bad example, of what couldn’t ultimately work, for the real needs of sacred human men and women, even as it shone a bright light and moved us in powerful new directions that were necessary and needed to bring us to this current flow of consciousness that is now arising – finding true worth and meaning that can only be found within, as Yeshua said, ‘where moth and rust does not corrupt, and where thieves cannot break in and steal.’ Domination itself as a way of life is in its sacred death and rebirth phase and we who are feeling it are the Ambassadors and the Death and Rebirth Doulas that are holding space for this sacred shift, along with its attendant new way of being. 

This is the true kingdoms and queendoms of heaven on earth that we are invited now to explore, to choose as deeply as we can in any and all moments, that thread meaning and deep purpose into the very fabric of your life as you currently know it. This is the true grail quest that we are invited to embrace, that gives purpose, direction, guidance, meaning and empowerment to all of life.

Much love, and wishing you deep strides on your sacred grail quest.

Raphael Awen

soulfullheart.org/sessions 

I work one on one with men in session space and the SoulFullHeart process to assist in this kind of personal awakening. If this calls to you, I’d like to hear from you. I’ll send you a few questions and a guided meditation for you to undertake to find us a starting place together and we can go from there in a way that is tailored to your needs and life. More info is here: soufullheart.org/sessions.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Changing The Climate Within

‘Climate’ feels like a very powerful word at the moment. It denotes and connotes so many different things.

Environmentally, the Western US is engulfed in ash (almost literally when you look at satellite images, and especially if you live there). The speculation and information of the causes fuel other fires that reside in the body politic.

Socially, climate is a reference to the energy of a tension or ease within a collective. Right now, from the media’s point of reference, the temperature is rising for discord and chaos as the winds of polarity spark their own political wildfires.

Globally, a pandemic of fear (whether real, produced, or both) is shifting the climate of what was once considered ‘normal’. It has changed how we relate to, and hold, our deep need for sovereignty, freedom, and well-being.

Many are being told what to believe and feel is right and true. We are being asked to ‘take a stand’ and ‘have a voice’. The energy may be intense, or it may be invitational. Camps are being formed, strategies laid, and lines being drawn.

Others are looking for truth and understanding. What is real and what is false? A deep desire to just get to a rational bottom of what the hell is really going on. This group is pushed and pulled in many ways. Some get more confused, others get more clarity. Do they join a camp, or form another one all together?

In the end, how these external climates affect your internal climate is the process that matters the most to me. I can say that unequivocally for myself, but that may not be true for someone else who is mired in thicker external circumstances.

I feel compassion and understanding for that. It is a fucking deep state of soul soup we all find ourselves in. This is serious shit, yet it can be given air, and even joy, from within but that is a dedicated practice and choice to rise above the fray, IF that is what you really want.

It may feel impossible from the evidence that is presenting itself to a part of you who can only see the external climate and circumstance. I get that. I can’t convince it otherwise. I am calling to the You that does want to create and BE in something different on the inside. That, from my soul’s perspective, is how real change can effectively and quantumly be evoked and embodied.

The Magna Carta of true sovereignty lies within. It is hard to let that in amidst everything that is blowing in your direction. I want something new for myself, for you, and for the world. It has to start with each of us. We must create our own pandemic and wildfire of Love from inside. Imagine then what is truly possible.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Anchoring New Earth In U.S. Geographies During This Matrix Collapse

By Jelelle Awen

My heart and Divine Mother’s heart goes out to those who have chosen to anchor in New Earth frequencies in places of peaking transition and chaos, and epicenters of Matrix/Cabal collapse such as the Pacific Northwest and California, New York City, Michigan, and other places in the U.S. The United States has felt for a long time to me like it was ‘leading’ the way in the messy claim of sovereignty phase that is necessary during this Ascension. Just as it has done since its inception by the Founding Fathers, America has been a place of sorting out tyranny from freedom, conforming from rebellion. This has a ‘ripe for civil war’ feeling to it that can be uneasy to settle into for those who are living there. I do continually get the sense though that actual war will not be necessary this time.


This feels like a necessary phase of messiness, although not without its suffering unfortunately. The labor pains to birth New Gaia out of the ashes of the 3D Earth are acutely felt by all of us with a compassionate heart toward the collective. Especially those of us here to serve as Ambassadors and Wayshowers through the storms and into the light. Although I haven’t lived in the U.S. in many years, I am an American Citizen and spent most of life living on the Pacific Northwest (the Bay Area and Ashland, Oregon) so my heart is feeling and connected to the current death and rebirth that this area is going through.

You’ve most likely chosen to be here now to serve the purpose of seeding New Earth into the collective, although it can be easy to slip into forgetfulness about this. Fusing to intense feelings of being trapped here, imprisoned, hating humanity…these are all understandable feelings to the parts of you and Metasoul Aspects who feel how challenging this transition is and who have probably been through this before in other lifetimes.


I have felt some of these energies of struggle to be here during this time, feeling confusion at the Matrix collapse going on, being so tired of the polarized politics, and a definite need for digestion of the whole Covid situation in the women I’ve met with this week for 1:1 sessions, three of them Americans. Since moving here to Glastonbury UK from Canada, I have felt less of the intensity of energy that used to come over from Seattle, which was just a short ferry ride away. Connecting with these women and parts of themselves/soul aspects has tuned me into the very real challenges going on for those on American soil and in those grids.


Connecting to the soul choice around living in America right now is helpful and digesting the this-life trauma and from other lifetimes that the polarized politics, fires, rioting, fear of dying from a virus, etc. push up. I also feel a sense that there will be an easing that happens after the U.S. Election and the peaking intensity that we are seeing is in large part due to that. It does feel like a ‘last ditch grasp effort’ or inertia to me of the old rather than moving into something even more extreme.


Remaining neutral yet very compassionate toward the parts of you that need you allows for a navigation through this time. Feeling any reactions at the source and asking, “what is the REAL trigger about and what portal is it offering of self discovery?” can lead to new openings as well. You can then move from reaction to empowered discovery.


For those healers who have chosen to anchor in love in the U.S. during this tumultuous time, I hope you can feel the support from those of us who have been guided to go into other geographies for our own soul-led reasons. We love you, we are with you, and we support you from wherever you are.


Please do ask for support via a 1:1 session with me for women if you feel that you’d like to bridge to any aspects that need you during this time and also to explore what the deeper triggers may be from other lifetimes. And to experience a bridge to your Divine Self as well if that is feeling more clouded over. The energies here in Avalon provide support to the sacred feminine to feel herself and connect to the Divine Mother within. There is more info about sessions with me and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators at soulfullheart.org/sessions


Love from Avalon!

Jelelle Awen

Join Kasha and I for an Avalon Activation women’s group call on Sunday, September 20 at 5:00pm BST (9:00am PDT) with teachings, meditation, and personal sharings by donation. More information at soulfullheart.org/womengroupcalls

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For information about 1:1 sessions with her for women and with SoulFullHeart Facilitators Raphael Awen/Gabriel Heartman/Kasha Rokshana, virtual group call events, writings/books (including Jelelle’s latest Free To Be 5D), and videos, visit soulfullheart.org.

The Reunification & Reconciliation Of The Inner Masculine/Feminine

This geography is bringing up so much around what I feel is a reunification of the masculine and feminine within. I have been working with the inner feminine for some time now and it is ticking up a notch and a half since I have been here.

But this ‘working’ is not just some generalized notion of ‘The Feminine’, but rather a very specific relationship with a part or aspect of me in a more intimate way. It is ‘my feminine’. I don’t mean that possessively, but rather more personally. They have a name and a frequency just like any person I may have a relationship with.

This has taken some time for my masculine parts to let in, yet has brought with it so many gifts for them. There is something to lean into and to learn from that has been a bit out of their grasp of conditioned consciousness. There is a need and desire for reconciliation and reunification on both sides.

I feel this feminine aspect really desiring this attention and cultivation. She wants to help bridge the gap with my inner masculine aspects that have some things to clear around the repression (and fear!) of her and The Feminine in general. I feel this process actually landing me in more of a union and dance of gendered poles rather than a blending of the two in some unisexual way.

I will do this through journaling, meditation, and bringing as much of them into my waking reality as I can. As this communion deepens, I feel I will be present to my own needs for romance and service as they will each bring their own gifts and passions.

I want to thank Raphael Awen for being a model and bridge to this inner love affair that offers so much for my sacred masculine embodiment that is personal to me and not some archetypal masculine that feels inauthentic to my parts. I look forward to sharing more about this ongoing healing between these very powerful energies.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Bridging The Masculine & Feminine In Avalon

In the Heart of Avalon the energy of the sacred feminine runs deep. As a man it can bring up many different feelings and reactions. For me it has been a toggle between feeling at home and feeling amiss, like I don’t quite fit in.

The dance of the masculine and feminine within comes to the surface to be felt and called into union. I feel these aspects inside of me vying for attention and healing. A priestess energy that has been with me for some time yet is ripe for more relationship in this geography.

Then there is the architecture of the wounded masculine exemplified by the church tower on top of the Tor. It activates a priest and Roman aspect that feel the uneasy feeling of walking these lands remembering the ways in which the dominating culture created a veil to the magic of the time.

The beauty of it all is that I get to bridge those two together into my heart rather than be caught in the space between. I can bring them together in sacred ceremony as I sit here wide awake in the middle of the night. I am on a different clock now and that is the timepiece of the soul

I am here to feel. Here to heal myself as well as the collective masculine so that I may serve those knights of heart that feel the same calling within despite all the din and distraction. The sacred masculine is rising and has a journey toward and with the feminine. It is here and cannot be stopped, only resisted.

I am blessed to be here. I want to share my journey and serve the wisdom and love that arises from it. I have a purpose and the Divine has a plan of which I am only partially privy to. My masculine is acclimating to that while my feminine is revelling.

In the middle is the flow of Life.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

You’re As Sacred As You’ll Ever Be

by Raphael Awen

Consciousness is a great and vast ocean, in which by birthright, you are not only given license to swim in these vast waters, you are also the water; you are also the license grantor; you are the ocean and consciousness itself.

Your reverence and curiosity for all you are and for all you’ve been given is the portal into navigating the changes and the desires for whatever form of more that you seek.

The divine is divining through you, regardless of whether your present state feels like lack or abundance.

The present configuration of what your life looks and feels like is not any more or less sacred than what it might look and feel like when vastly changed from its present state into a new state that you feel a desire for. The present state, the desire and the future state all have role and process for you to feel inside of, to learn from, to grow within.

You’ll never become any more sacred than you already are.

Knowing that should help alleviate the stress of attaining higher states of consciousness, as your consciousness transmutes into more and more remembrance of what you always were, always and in all ways ARE and never actually lost.

These are the messages and reminders coming to me as I acclimate to being re-membered with the energies here in Avalon – what is called Glastonbury in this present timeline.

***

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Masculine & Feminine Interdependence

by Raphael Awen

An impulse to do something, to express something is a masculine kind of outbound energy. This energy needs and requires a feminine inbound energy of being and letting-in to sustain and validate its need to do and express.

The masculine doing and expressing by itself runs out of gas, and must vulnerably return to the feminine to get its needs met.

Likewise, the feminine inbound energy of letting in love and ability to BE in being wants to express and do as a natural extension of itself. The feminine however can’t disconnectedly express and do just for the sake of feeling powerful, or worthy, or right. It wants and needs a higher frequency.

In this way, the masculine and the feminine are interdependent, and in that, we see the basis for Sacred Union, within each of us, for we all possess both masculine and feminine aspects/polarities of being – each of which longs for union, for a higher way.

The incompleteness of one is the portal to the other.

Vulnerability (the ability to admit need) is the grace that permits the masculine and feminine to find Sacred Union dance.

This is true inside and outside.

Maybe the most powerful common denominator between the masculine and feminine is this shared mutual need – this wound state one remains in without the other.

This energy feels so palpable to me since arriving here in Glastonbury in the UK, a place of deep feminine energies and converging soul aspect timelines. One can feel the still unresolved lingering between the feminine and the masculine wanting to find its reunion in actual transactional grounds of real people expressions and relationships.

We are this coming together. We are the cast and crew of this production being put on by consciousness itself.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The Vulnerability Of The Masculine Relating To The Feminine

by Raphael Awen

The masculine in its ability and desire to provide is a great thing in and of itself, which we all have inside of ourselves regardless of gender.

Where the masculine gets into conflict is when it needs to find, maintain and suppress a dependent feminine in order to keep his gig working. Eventually this comes to a demise and both the masculine and the feminine are afforded an opportunity to restructure – vulnerably admit their fears, needs and desires to find a new way, or at least a completion of the old to eventually allow a new way to arise.
The masculine has a particular challenge in that it was born of a feminine womb and yoni from which it wants and needs to separate, to define itself, to be different enough to create attraction in order to be afforded a partaking of that exquisite feminine while it is trying at the same time to differentiate itself from and pretend to not need.

The more the masculine leads in the world with his power, attainments and capabilities, the more he is trying and still needing/seeking feminine love, as it is only the feminine than can give all that power and attainment meaning, yet he is not quite ready, or sufficiently aware to transparently and open heartedly admit the true nature of that need.

This dynamic takes a quantum leap forward when the masculine is ready to feel, ready to vulnerably admit need and desire to himself, his innerverse, his inner feminine, and then energetically and emotionally to the feminine in his outerverse, his universe – yoniverse.

When you get that sorted a bit, all lovemaking and love getting strategies take care of themselves, effortlessly as you have it aced inside, which is a very cool feeling for the masculine – doing something really stunningly well!

***

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.