The Value In Not Knowing

By  Raphael Awen

Can we be okay with not knowing?

We’ve been so conditioned to seek and value explanation, and to prize knowledge, which of course in turn calls for defending that knowledge, because god forbid, our precious knowledge should ever be subjected to challenge. We make a false god out of knowing.

What if there is a whole bunch we’re not meant to know and don’t need to know? What if real aliveness and learning is about how much you can be okay with not knowing?

I can always feel and detect within, coming from parts of me, a deep desire to know so much more, to perceive more, more accurately. This feels like personal power to parts of me. With more knowledge, I can feel better about myself, being assured of a good outcome. I have the truth.

As I write these words, I feel something coming from beyond the world of knowledge. It’s something I can neither prove or defend, or even know in the way I know things in the normalized way.

That something tells me I AM the truth. In the core essence of my being, I was not only born of truth, I AM carried by truth. Were it not for the truth that I AM, I would not have one wit of consciousness to even hold this question. I AM also, however, forgetfulness that is returning to truth. Both are true and occurring simultaneously.

I AM the greatest thing that ever occurred on the face of the planet masquerading as a poorly clothed beggar.

This I AM is something we all share. There is only one ‘I’, so no worries on getting your share. The share is entirely yours, and mine too.

I saw a story that made the news this week of a billionaire who dressed up as a street person asking for help, and to anyone who helped, he paid their rent or mortgage for the month. We are like that billionaire, having got so used to having it all and not knowing how the rest of the world lives, that we not only faked our poverty like this man did, but actually dropped completely into the role by forgoing and forgetting our knowledge of our real identity and birthright.

We chose to not know. From this place of not knowing, any piece of remembering who and what we truly are, that comes to us, comes to us with so much expansion of our being, so much reverence, so much alive curiosity and wonder.

Reverence, curiosity and wonder are all things that live in the realm of admitting you don’t know.

Take everything you think that you know, and subject that knowing to the deeper questioning of that knowing (who, what, why, where, when, etc.) the way a child does, and you come back quickly to the realm of not knowing, the realm of being utterly at a loss for explanation.

This returns you to your vulnerability, your aliveness, your loving and breathing of life.

Having said all that, I must admit, I really don’t know if it’s true, but it’s the best I can tell and it feels good! 💚🌹🏄🏻‍♂️

Love,

Raphael Awen

(The pic below is from Jelelle’s and I’s adventure to a Mary Chapel near Arganil, Portugal yesterday.)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Integrating Our Light And Our Darkness

By  Raphael Awen

Coming from divine bliss and where we knew nothing but oneness with the divine, we couldn’t really know it, for there was no variation in experience to compare it with. There was only one, and so no other to share it with.

The divine needed experience, duality and comparison as a way to know itself and continue to grow.

Divine ‘Mother’ birthed ‘others’ – you and I, with independent identities (egos) who are given free will to go as deep and far as our egos will take us into the world of experience and contrast and comparison.

It’s a troubling thing though, experience. We are called to go deep into this experience of being ‘othered’ from the divine, which in turn creates a yearning to return to the divine. Many channel these energies of yearning to return to the divine (that they are and never actually lost) into more experience and contrast, feeling that that will fill the homesick ache within.

Our cycles of physical death and rebirth are built into the plan to help us reevaluate, and remember, and to ensure we don’t suffer any more than is necessary to the divine’s mission at hand that moves through us.

Those who appear the most separated from the divine actually bear the divine’s greatest yearnings and mission.

How far removed from love can one be in the frontiers of the deepest darkness and never lose connection?

The darkness within you, where things live hidden from the view of yourself or others is where your personal portal to so much more can be found. You’ve been quick to embrace the light, shine the light, and to live by the light and in so doing, you have become false, as light can only be light in its comparison and relationship with darkness. Light needs a relationship with darkness to be what it is.

This has given place to the false light matrix we see around us so prevalent in spirituality today, that purports to be light. It is light, but it is a light that hasn’t reconciled its own darkness, so it is a false light.

The darkness within wants to become a part of your light, and the light within wants to become a part of your darkness.

What lives in your darkness? What is uncomfortable to tell yourself? What part of you has guarded the door to your own darkness?

Can a new you show up now to take the lead into these domains, as a curious and heart open ambassador to reconcile what up till now, has had no way of being reconciled?

If you can explore this within yourself, you also open a portal for the collective unreconciled darkness to find a way to reconcile. The great darkness we are in wants to be reconciled, not destroyed, for no energy can be destroyed.

You are the bright, bright light of the divine and you are the deep, deep darkness of the divine, too. You’d be lost if you were not both. You have and navigate experience itself because you are both, and therein is your homing device. More and more, you get to journey far from home while taking home with you as you do.

Begin by sharing with the divine what you really feel and see in your darkness. Ask the divine to guide you from your deepest vulnerability. Life as you know it will move and shift with a new you captaining your ship in deep relationship with the divine.

Raphael Awen

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

You Are The Royalty That Creates your Own Reality

By  Raphael Awen

We see now how reality is a totally created thing. We sure see it in the main stream, which is just that, a stream that conjures up a reality.

The word reality has a strange original connection to the word royalty. The Royals are the ones who can dictate reality. The secret is that you are the royalty who creates your own reality. And the next secret is that you are already doing this every day, every hour, every minute. When you get real, you get royal!

This isn’t something you need to go meditate in a cave alone for 13 years to attain this super human capacity. You are this by design and always were.

The powers that be have known this since the beginning of time. Time now for you and I to assume our own forgotten power, to allow to arise an ever new reality to broadcast from who and what we are.

There’s never been a more leveraged time like now to face and take responsibility for this creative force that you are.

Got anything else worth doing?

Raphael Awen

(The Pic above is from the area we are camping in, in Portugal this summer)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

No Return To Normal

By  Raphael Awen

There is no returning to normal from here going forward.

Hoping to return to normal is a big part of what keeps people compliant, asleep and underneath that, very deeply scared.

There IS a shit ton to be concerned about, if not scared about, that is if you’re willing to take an honest stock of what we are being faced with more and more with each passing day.

We are in the middle of a population reduction, medical eugenics experiment in the form of the bioweapon, falsely referred to as the va((ine, being foisted upon us by some of the darkest forces imaginable, who are much higher up than the slime bucket psyborg politicians who are held hostage to be the face of this agenda.

I’ve shared a lot in my recent writings about how love is the ultimate source of everything, including even this heightening duality at hand. It all came from love and it’s all returning to love. That’s the bigger picture and context that all this is happening in, in my view. There is no battle between good and evil that is pending an outcome or a winner. Love hasn’t won, because love never entered any battle.

But the shit is still flying, while this duality drama has its way in consciousness and in you and I. The pending winner or loser here and now, is you, even as you cannot ever be separated from love and ultimately, can’t lose. Both are true.

Your future, your soul purpose, what really matters to you in this life at hand is very much at stake, very much pending an outcome.

How long will you allow others to make up your mind?

How long will you falsely put others before yourself at your own expense?

How long will you create your own suffering in the name of kindness?

Choice fast becomes the real currency and ultimately the only currency that matters, making you agile to respond to this abnormalized world, to take the journey that your soul orchestrated for you to take.

What choices are before you now?

How do you tell the difference between soul guidance and simple anxiety about the future?

I believe that if you ask for divine guidance, you have it available to you. Even your anxiety about the future can be an indicator and a part of the guidance as you embrace a choice and feel how acting on that choice either heightens or relieves the anxiety.

Then what makes the biggest difference I’ve learned is getting to know the part of you who’s holding the anxiety. When you do this, an anxiety problem becomes an anxiety solution, a portal to a much bigger you, and a portal to an oh-so-much brighter universe.

Thank God for your anxiety! Let it tell you of its fears and desires. Let it become your sacred friend. Let it transmute as it gets felt and loved in your heart space.

What else have you got to do that could even begin to compare? What else might you do that would even begin to add up as a contribution to the world around you?

Raphael Awen

(The pic above is from our camp here this summer in Portugal)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Relationships Provide The Ground For Our Learning And Growth

By  Raphael Awen

Every relationship we have and their unfolding circumstances, whether with another person, or a thing or an institution is the ground of our learning, our growth.

Relationships are our spiritual teacher, that we can either tune into to our gain or ignore to our loss.

We were born into duality, the world of good and bad, desirable and undesirable, and that is what creates experience.

Experience calls for preference and choice. Experience is also the ground of our joy and our irritation. Without experience, we wouldn’t grow, there would be no need for growth as we would be in a world of full attainment, quite possibly bored as hell at the same time.

Would pure joy be pure joy if it was the only mode you are capable of, if there was nothing to compare it to, to help define it as desirable?

The human experience is one of polarities and dualities. Many seek to avoid this by pursuing a ‘nondual awakening’ as a kind of spiritual attainment and making that a medication to help them avoid the feeling and learning that duality wants to teach them. Yes, duality was born out of non-duality, and non-duality may well be our our upstream reality and higher essence, but we chose to be here in duality, so the invitation is to be here now, where we are, receive the learnings and expansions that we could receive no other way.

We find lots of duality right inside of ourselves, one part of us posturing to be seen a certain way and dead scared of operating out of that familiar mode and another part of us desperately wanting to just drop-the-fucking-role already!

Can we embrace this duality within, and become an ambassador to each part of us and get to know them and their realities without making one right and the other wrong?

It’s about reconciling our dualities in this way, not eliminating them.

All stress can be traced to the garden variety of lying that we all participate in, needing to seen a certain way; having it together in a way that doesn’t match the actual reality within. This stress becomes more like a psychosis the longer it is ignored and not faced.

Facing it however, with choice, with love, with curiosity and an opening heart brings us into realms of experience we never thought possible. It changes everything.

Raphael Awen

(The pic above is from nearby our camp this summer in Geres, Portugal)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The Reconciliation Of All Darkness

By  Raphael Awen

The third dimension of consciousness, like any dimension in consciousness, is created and maintained by the co-creative power of the participants in that consciousness.

Each phase of consciousness has a useful lifespan of you will, for those participants. When it’s time for a phase of consciousness to conclude its useful service to those participants, the consciousness itself will create its own demise, in a death and rebirth cycle allowing the next phase that wants to come, to come.

What by all accounts looks like World War 3 upon us now, marked by the darkest agendas and manipulations we have ever witnessed in our lifetimes, mandating the alterations of our very DNA for a supposed threat to our wellbeing is actually something being mandated by consciousness itself. Yes, darkness is being deployed like never before, but by whom and to what end is the larger question?

3D has been in deep suffering long before the darkness we are seeing unfold. And it’s seemingly making its way so largely unhindered, where even the mass demonstrations in the streets only make for more massaged rollouts of darkness.

Could it be that the awakening we are all a part of isn’t meant to resurrect 3D, to ’restore our rights’ as 3D has called for the death doulas to assist it as it puts its affairs in order in hospice?

We are invited into a consciousness phase now of learning that our rights can never be granted, protected or taken away by any outside authority, but only can live in us as we no longer project our own internal shadows and darkness onto those outside authorities, giving up the very power that we are at core of our being.

Trouble is though that to face our shadow involves meeting, feeling and healing the parts of us that feel no power whatsoever, who feel worthless and purposeless due the traumas of this life and other lifetimes of experience. Most are not ready just now to go there yet. Hence the souls call for the demise of 3D in order to upgrade our learning environment to one more conducive to what we ache to learn and feel.

Every ounce of the darkest darkness, whether in you, or me, or the Illuminati or whatever other secret society along with their off planet handlers will eventually be restored to a full return and reconciliation to love. Positionally, no one or no thing is currently separated from love, while consciousness explores the simulated experience of separation from love, in order to serve our consciousness evolution.

So then, if that’s true, then fighting the demise of something that is sacredly in hospice and dying is a distraction from facing the bigger conspiracies within, where we are equally afraid of our own power and our own powerlessness, held in egoic parts of ourselves, awaiting our ambassadorship to them, allowing them and our very souls to reconcile what has been irreconcilable for as long as it has.

You are greater than the 3rd World War and the bioweapon agendas. You are greater than the fear porn. You are greater than the dystopian hells that many are warning, short of our protesting, is what is next for us to suffer and flounder in.

Choosing to go inward, to reconcile there more and more, to radiate the results of that outwardly in your choices of what to be a part of, and what not to be a part of – is your personal heaven unfolding.

Who really wants a perfect world without while our fears, anxieties and unworth rage unabated within?

This is a portal like none you’ve seen before to everything you’ve longed for at the deepest levels, that the very divine is longing to manifest through you.

As we participate in that consciousness, we create the grids and transponders necessary for that, to our own benefit and the benefit of others. Don’t let anyone convince you that you are passive or irrelevant when you are demonstrating the courage to face what they are not yet ready to; when you are a part of creating the very real new world on the other side of this one whose time to complete has come. Likewise don’t look down upon them for their present alignment with the darkness, for in so doing, we cut off and bury deeper the parts of ourselves that await our love.

Much Love,

Raphael Awen

(The Pic above is from inside of our tent where we’ve been camping for the past months in Geres Park in Portugal)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

“The Dark Has Been A Necessary Illusion” : Lion’s Gate Update & Message From Sirius

By Jelelle Awen

Today, August 8th 8:8, is the Lion’s Gateway, peak of the galactic alignment with the planet Sirius. As Sirius rises in the sky, Orion’s Belt aligns with the Pyramid of Giza. From our viewpoint from Gaia, Sirius (as the brightest star in the sky) comes closer to us. We have often called this day “Cosmic Christmas” for the gifts that it can bring on the soul level.

Sirius is a STRONG and powerful source of soul activations, upgrades, and Ascension frequencies. As we connect to our soul aspects from Sirius, we can receive codes that bring us into our next levels of awakening. They often appear as feline beings with blue skin tones, although that can vary.

The veils are lifted during this gateway and the capacity to see/feel/know other lifetimes and timelines is revealed. Our soul aspects who live in ‘Ancient Egypt’ become visible and knowable to us especially during this time. These aspects are often more tuned into these higher spiritual energies that have often been covered over in our modern times. There is much to learn from soul gift exchange with our Egyptian aspects yet, also, the False Light Matrix was very powerful during this time so you may feel a karmic unplugging in that as well. If you are drawn to that time period, especially right now, this is a sign of that connection being ripe and available to you for exploration and discovery.

As I meditated this morning, I connected with Sela, my blue feline-humanoid Lionness Queen from Sirius. As we touched third eyes together, She offered me waves of calm support and spacious grace. As I’ve been going through some deeper layers of digestion around this shift in lifestyle to being with Gaia and living more naturally and some more death/rebirth/deconstruction phases for me in that, her frequencies felt soothing and expansive. I had this sense of cool water flowing over little fires everywhere within and to the places in the world where fires are literally burning as the Cabal/Matrix tightens its grip post-collapse. This feeling was deeply supported by the sounds of the nearby river which has been a steady backdrop sound transmission for the last month.

Sela seemed to deeply feel and understand the energies of death and rebirth going on for humanity right now, as her species has gone through the Ascension process bliss mess phases and stages as well. The peaking of these energies seems to be these last weeks of increasing push for the V. as the Dark Ones shift from enticing to punishing in order to get more compliance. She offered compassion for the messy transition we are in as we stumble and fumble through the dark to find our way into the light.

Sela encouraged you to feel into whatever messages you receive from your Sirius aspects on this day, offering that they are specifically connected to the Lion’s Gate frequencies and the upgrades available during it. I could sense too how in tune we were with them during the Lemurian age, precious allies and friends of ours from the stars.

The Sirius energy reminds us of the bigger picture that can be lost with so much contentious content and polarization. They form a bridge to our galactic nature and the remembering of the assistance and support that is ALWAYS there for us. As we are vulnerable and ask for it, so we can then receive it as love from the Divine in whatever forms and ways we most need.

Sela says now, “Trust the light that you are emerging into as you wake up from your long sleep. Remember that the dark has been a necessary illusion. Forgetting is the illusion. Separation is the illusion. Fear is the illusion.

Love is real. Unity is real. The Light is real. The Divine is real.

The rest is a play out of the illusion that is dying and being slowly reborn into what is real. This process of dying illusion is happening within you and in your world. As you can see this process, you can separate from it and connect to the love that you ARE in any moment. “

Blessings on this Lion’s Gate, Cosmic Christmas, and may new vistas of your soul’s bigness be revealed to you that provide support to navigate the shifts and changes!

love,

Jelelle Awen & Sela

For more digestion about Lion’s Gate and a guided meditation/activation to connect with your Sirian aspect, Gabriel Heartman and Kasha Rokshana led a livestream last year and the recording is available below:

More information on 1:1 sessions, books/writings, and more at soulfullheart.org.

Lammas/Lughnasadh Energies Support Feeling What’s Real, Letting Go Of What Was

By Kasha Rokshana

The festival of Lammas was yesterday, which is celebrated at the halfway point between Summer Solstice and Autumn Equinox. It is the ‘first harvest’. And it also, as with all festivals, seems to represent a death and rebirth of its own…

There’s something about letting in all we’ve harvested from life as we once knew it. We are letting old ways ‘die’ now and be cut down like overripe grains in a field. We are being guided by Divine energies that want to help us with this process, which is ongoing, of letting go of what was, being with what is, and letting in what’s now becoming possible beyond the dystopia which is also very real at the moment.

When grains are harvested, they are threshed. It’s a pretty aggressive-feeling process of literally ‘separating the wheat from the chaff’. What was actually artificial in our ways of life and ways of being, interfacing with the world around us, is on the threshing floor and all we can really do in the midst of that is surrender to the process…

You see, this way of life we’ve all been accustomed to of hyper-autonomy and even anonymity afforded us by typical Western lifestyles where we live within concrete and/or drywall, pressing the Gaian elements and surrounding energies as far away from us as possible so parts of us can feel ‘safe’ and ‘in control’, is dying. Parts of us strategizing ways to avoid the lessons of life and even venturing into discomfort to see what growth and healing lies on the other side of it, are the parts being very challenged right now.

We’re being supported, invited, and even pushed into really looking at the ways in which we’ve settled within our once sacred cocoons. We’re being invited to recognize where we haven’t really let anyone in deeply or taken the risk for real intimacy within and with others, let alone real intimacy with Gaia herself and what she mirrors for each of us.

On this ‘threshing floor’, we are being shaken of our artifice, layer by layer, and it’s time to take the space needed to truly feel how this is impacting us, feeling what’s REAL, and navigating our lives from there.

Nothing like choosing a camping lifestyle to really help with this process for me personally right now. There is so much I can’t control and there are moments where I feel parts of me very uncomfortable with this… yet also, almost at the same time, I feel my soul awakening and compensating somehow for this, helping me hold space for the process and linking me up to very needed Divine energies within and without. It helps of course that I’m not alone here and doing this with beloveds who I love and trust. That makes all the difference in the world.

Wherever this ‘threshing’ process is taking you now, know that you are so loved, so held, and actually being asked to LIVE even when you feel like you are dying.

Much love,

Kasha

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Sacred Choices Before You Now.

By  Raphael Awen

Part of me is feeling glad and excited for the meltdown of life as we’ve known it playing out every day now.

Something in my heart and soul told me something was way off decades ago when I felt pushed reluctantly into adult life. The adults were sweeping shit under the rug on every hand like there was no tomorrow way back then. I tried at times to participate, but felt repeatedly called to something different, as well as just plain shit at participating or succeeding in the shitshow.

This has been one big anticipated meltdown, for such a long time. As a young man, I recall the verses from the book of Revelation about ’no man being able to buy or sell without the mark of the beast in their foreheads or wrist, with the added injunction of ‘let him who has wisdom count the number of the beast, which is 666’.

Eventually, I came to find that my beloved Christianity, that helped me awaken in many ways, was just about as in the ditch and co-opted as anything else.

‘They’ have been wanting to get this show on the road for a long time and now it is truly showtime. The acts are lined up, it’s all or nothing. There is no turning back. We are in a birth canal.

It’s not the only show however on the stage. Great darkness is always contrasted with great light while we are in this phase of contrast. Love is actually funding both sides of this apparent war between good and evil, with a grand agenda at hand.

The agenda is you and I, and everyone around us waking up to more of what we are. There isn’t actually and ultimately a ‘they’ and an ‘us’. Even the sleepwalkers and zombies surrendering to the altering of their DNA in a kind of Stockholm Syndrome response of welcoming and helping their oppressors are all part of this great staging, and are a part of love’s unfolding story.

You can however choose what polarity you’d like to be a part of and cheer on, from wherever you find yourself now, but you can’t actually separate yourself from the other side. There’s only one container, and there’s no compartments or sides.

I’d actually be quite scared right now as events reach fever pitch if I believed that good was raging a do or die battle against evil, where everything good could be lost forever. Love hasn’t actually won or lost. It never entered the battle. It only staged the battle for its own expansion of itself into the infinite awareness and abundance that it is.

It can’t stop itself. It wants more and won’t stop at anything to have this more, not at the expense of anyone or anything, but only at the aggrandizement of itself, to itself, of the ALL of which you and I ARE.

That’s the bigger picture, and It breeds a ton of relief in me. I feel sorry for those posted out on the edges of darkness or the light who believe that life and love are actually at stake. Coming to this realization is where our unity and our forgiveness can come into play. Love is willing to pick up the tab for it all.

But the shitshow is ramping up now every day, and parts of you are forced to make choices. Expecting life to remain the same might be the most debilitating influence upon your wellbeing.

You have sacred and very grounded choices to make that your soul knows well what they are. You don’t need my prescription or anyone else’s, whether you should do this or that. You know. You’ve always known.

It’s time to let go of following others’ prescriptions, unless you are part of the show that’s staging that necessary part of the contrast. You can prescribe your own medicine.

The vaxxed are fast becoming the vexed, realizing the lies they were fed and subjected to, as they come to terms with what is being proven to be lifelong alterations to their well-being. We’ve been vaxxed with so many things and realities for so long, long before the vax at hand. All of those games were necessary to precede the plot the plotters have prepared for this hour.

How much interference do you need to choose your own power? How much playing by others rules do you need to make up your own game? If you’re going to create your own game, what would you want it to be about? How much do you need to lose to take up the sacred power of your own choice, the one thing that no oppressor anywhere can take from you?

Your soul chose to be alive here in this dimension for this culmination of the times. There’s nothing more powerful than you choosing you, your truth, your prescriptions, your yes and your no. It will cost you dearly, but it will pay you back a hundredfold and more.

If there’s anything else out there that feels more appealing for you, then that’s for your soul to play out, for some good reason, and love will hold all of that too, regardless of how much I might cringe to see you walk that out. You don’t answer to me or anyone else. You answer to you.

The green light before you will lead to the next one. The red lights will also be a part of the guidance. You get to choose how proximal you want to be and for what reasons. You don’t have to convince anyone of anything either if that feels like a trap, or simply not your definition of fun. Every soul knows and is playing out their sacred script.

Everything is changing. Love has birthed all of this. It’s unstoppable. The bigger catastrophe was you and I being expelled from the Eden of the divine bliss oneness bliss that we were (and actually still are in individuated form). The ‘catastrophe’ at hand is the coming back together of what has been separated.

The darkness is willing to be passionate it, willing to look maniacal and even plain stupid in their participation. How willing are you to fly your own colors for this coming together?

I doubt there will ever be a drama this big on this planet after this one. This changes everything. It may even get a bit boring. If you want a piece of this action, then choose it, however that looks for you!

Much love to you as you walk out your sacred and profound part of this grand story.

Raphael Awen.

The pic above is from yesterday here in where we’ve been guided to, in Portugal, as part of where we are meant to be and want to be to ride out the birth canal we are all in and share.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

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Divine Mother’s Guidance On Being

By  Raphael Awen

Are you able to feel good about yourself before and without doing anything to feel good about yourself?

That’s the question a part of me is entertaining today.

It has always felt good to this part of me to be achieving something, moving some kind of index forward. There’s been a bunch of layers of indexes upon indexes that I’ve used in my life, a whole dashboard of levers and dials to monitor, control, respond, and ultimately, receive a reward from.

At one time, it was things like home improvement or business building. More recently, it has been more spiritually and emotionally oriented to something akin to a higher level of personal improvement, attaining a higher level of consciousness. I can see and feel however, where I’ve been still beholden to the old orientation of feeling good about myself because I did something positive.

‘It’s all still doing and achieving’ this part of me says!

Learning how to be centered, in joy, grateful, or whatever other prescription one can come up with is still a prescription, a means to improve one’s condition or fate, and thus feel better about oneself.

Problem is though, now, that efforting in order to feel better about myself is fast losing its appeal and natural seeming effortless energy, and has been for some time. It used to work quite well. It appeared it would hold me for life. It doesn’t anymore. To this part of me, it has felt like a slow and ongoing death. Now, however, it’s beginning to look and feel much more appealing.

What could an alternative look like? And how would I relate to that alternative without trying to ‘apply’ it, as another more sophisticated kind of personal improvement that promises me something, leaving me squarely in this same old predictable, safe and shrinking territory?

What would moving from a life of expectation and knowing to a life of the unexpected and living in the unknown look and feel like?

As this part of me asked Divine Mother this morning more about this ongoing dilemma, the response came back.

‘Doing and achieving was a way that you could justify receiving love in the past. It was all love, but you just couldn’t accept it without giving something in exchange to feel worthy of it. You received the love in the form of some improvement and that always felt good.

‘There was nothing wrong with that, it’s just the phase you needed to go through, complete in order to be ready to enter this next phase.

‘Life is always improving you could say, but it ‘does’ this effortlessly by allowing both death and rebirth. Life allows inbreath and outbreath, increase and decrease.

‘What is before you now is the opportunity to simply let in the love without equating it to any deserving of it, or to any earning of it. It is a graduation that you can’t graduate with, or measure, or set a timer to. It simply is because you are.

‘Receiving this love is akin to feeling worshipped. Feeling yourself receiving divine love and grace, flowing to and through your being because that is who and what you are, in your deepest essence of being. Worthy. Not because you did anything, or demonstrated anything worthy. Not an exchange. Not a transaction.

‘Your sexual fantasies have often had this dream at root of them, being worshipped in this way, where an other can convey onto you sheer joy and pleasure simply because of love and life. In this you can recognize your wiring for this kind of experience.

‘Life and love wants to dance with you, play with you, focus on you, share with you, draw you into pleasure, into its more. This is the new phase before you.

‘The old lays dying all around you. The new arises right in the midst of it all. Allow it to greet you and usher you into the life you’ve always dreamed of, and into who you always were, are and will be.

Much love,

Raphael Awen

SoulFullHeart.org

The pic above are part of the the view from the campsite where Jelelle and I seem to settling into for the summer, living into adventure and unknown and new things to learn and feel, along with old layers to shed as well. Our beloveds arrive later this week and next! Gabriel Amara Kasha Rokshana Bianca Gieber

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

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