Yesterday I came across yet another sign advertising “guilt-free” food options at a local fast-food restaurant. For a moment I felt into the feeling of relief that comes from knowing you’ve just eaten something that was “good for you” instead of what you really wanted to eat. Then, I felt into how cravings can be attributed to our parts and how we can make much better strides to eat in better moderation and portions if we negotiate with them first. That being said, I feel that “guilt-free” eating is actually impossible. Some part of you that was asking for the fries instead of the salad may feel guilty that they even asked for the fries in the first place and will think something is wrong with them since their request was ignored for not being “good enough”.
I’m not saying or even feeling that we should necessarily just give in and have the fries, but I do feel the need to look for another option to satisfy their craving or negotiate with it. You could offer to share fries with your friend or even offer that you will make healthier ones that are just as tasty at home later. Sometimes you do just need to give in though, which could also trigger guilt for the part that asked for the fries when another part comes in to punish it for doing so (it can get quite emotionally violent in there!).
It feels to me that cravings are clues and hold just as much valuable data for getting to know a part as an emotional trigger or reaction from them. For instance a desire for certain foods may come from a desire to feel “loved” and eating that particular food holds that vibration for them somehow, which is definitely something you can work with them to get to the bottom of.
This practice of conscious eating with parts is something I’m working on even as I write this. Both of my young parts know full-well that there is part of a yummy chocolate bar in my desk drawer, just beneath where I am typing this! They know, because I have told them, that we may enjoy a small piece of it after supper as a treat at the end of the day. This makes it a bit easier to ignore the chocolate… for now at least!
The thing that I feel I want to impress on you as an overarching concept here, is that any type of urge or craving, be it for sex, alcohol, shopping or food, need not be quelled with a fear of feeling guilty for indulging, but instead needs to be held, loved and cherished for the clues it holds for getting to know and LOVE yourself on a deeper level. Making a craving or urge “bad” does anything but help us stop doing it. Chances are that even if you do manage to give up a habit, dependency, or “addiction” you will not be able to for long without digging deeply enough to find the reason (and it’s bound to be a very good, very valid one at that) for the “medicine” to have been self -prescribed in the first place.
Also, in SoulFullHeart, we look at the relationship that our parts have to the substance, thing, or person that they’ve been using in a medicative way to numb out or suppress their feelings. In that way, no substance is bad or evil- except maybe toxic or self punishing drugs or food- just that it can be used in an unhealthy way by parts of us.
To our ever-growing love and understanding for ourselves!
Love,
Kathleen
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