By Jillian​

​I have always considering myself to be a romantic person, drawn to love and relationship. I intuitively felt that I needed intimate romantic relationships in order to heal my deeper heart and soul wounds. As a woman, I’ve experienced both incredible and difficult moments during relationships. I’ve been both adored and resisted; admired and disdained. And I’ve had my own draws and resistances to the men and the relationships in my life. I have truly experienced that romantic intimacy offers me and you the most powerful and catalytic opportunities to see ourselves (both our strengths and our struggles) and to grow, learn, and change. As a healer and intuitive guide, I’ve experienced in working with people that nothing seems to be more challenging and threatening, and yet more desired, than a meaningful romantic relationship.​

​I feel that it is our sacred humanity which holds a desire for connection, romance, intimacy, sexual union, resonance, companionship, and attraction. Our soul holds a desire for these grounds to feel sacred and connected to our soul calling and purpose for being here. The desire for another soul to mirror our biggest strengths and our most tender struggles. We hold a desire for the love to arise in each moment offering a deeper invitation into the ultimate mystery of our beloved’s hearts, souls, and bodies. And, in exploration of this dance, to feel the beautiful mystery of ourselves unfold in response to a commitment with another.​

This, to me, is the possibility of sacredness that romantic relationship uniquely offers the human species. The realities of these dense earth dimensions create a necessary separation that invites us to explore intimacy without the safety of the overriding sense of being One and part of All That Is, even if some souls have some access to these frequencies. Sacred romance invites us to feel the desires and physical needs of our bodies; that special “tingle” that only catalyzes in alchemical response to our mate; that chemical reaction that only human bodies can produce in response to the person that is uniquely there to trigger it.​

Sacred romance invites us to heal our childhood imprints about romantic relationship, marriage, gender differences; it triggers up the messages and conditioning that we received from our parents and our culture. These distorted messages that our defenses/daemons and our young parts got about relationships could be: You can’t really trust men/women; Love doesn’t really last and, if it does, it can only be a love based on security, boredom, and routine; Sex isn’t supposed to be hot and regular and intense in long-term relationships. In fact, it’s ok if it doesn’t happen for years and years!; You can’t have everything that you want from your relationship, so just settle for what you have; It’s not ok to want more, so you need to stay in the relationship for the sake of your partner/your kids/your mortgage (I have actually heard this excuse before!)/your assets/your security, etc.​

The conditioning in our culture around romantic relationship is very pervasive; based in a defensive, security-driven picture; and encourages a conforming our needs, desires, and bigness to fit the relationship. The “Usness” of any romantic union- that alchemical creation that arises out of the connection between the two individuals- is a dynamic, ever changing, and fluid thing. Even if our defenses put the usness in a compartment and try desperately to keep each partner invulnerable, stuck, and numb- the usness, in its essence, is still an alive and arising entity. Just as we are!​

When Wayne and I meet with clients, if they are in a relationship or marriage, we can feel the usness between them, even without meeting their partner (although it is always our deepest desire and recommendation to serve both). We feel together how vitally held the usness is; if it is being nurtured and nourished; and how the person (and their daemon!) relates to it. SoulFullHeart wants to serve the love between the couple, to serve the usness ground that is still alive on some level, and to blow love on the embers of it to possibly ignite a new passion, desire, and intimacy between the couple that is based in alive frequencies rather than dead ones based in security, familiarity, and routine. And, SFH also wants to serve to explore the possible necessity of completing the relationship if that is the couple’s sovereign choice to do with honor and respect for what has been, while not denying their desires for more.

In meeting with couples, we emphasis the need for them to connect to themselves “vertically” rather than overly focusing “horizontally.” This means that many partners have fallen into a habit of overly obsessing about the relationship, how to fix it, and feeling they just need communication strategies to make it better. In SFH, we feel that it is each partner’s individual emotional and spiritual health that most impacts the “usness” in the relationship. The degree of codependency, triggers, mom and dad projections, and non productive turmoil is the amount of wounding that is in the partner as an individual. The relationship is mirroring to them that they need to heal themselves in order to contribute in an emotionally healthy way in the relationship. We support for couples to meet with us individually for a little while in order for them to have a safe, non charged ground in which their parts can share and express their feelings about their partner and the relationship. Eventually, we encourage couples to meet in typically three hour sessions in which each partner primarily shares their individual process and parts with their partner witnessing their sharing. This allows the couple to feel each other more compassionately and with less charge as the focus is on the individuals, not on who was “right” or “wrong” in the relationship.

(Note: this blog entry is the introduction from an article about sacred romance posted on the SoulFullHeart Website.)