Higher Timeline Illuminations Happening For ALL Relationships

by Kalayna Solais

‘Old’ timelines are destabilizing now. What isn’t a part of your higher timeline is being shaken up for you to look at and come to terms with somehow. This could be your relationship to different birth family members, friends, romantic partners, or everyone you’ve related with in some way, including yourself.

Parts of you may be becoming agitated at this time, wanting to feel better again and like life can go back to the way it was before, yet the feeling I get right now is that some sort of energetic earthquake has been moving through and continues to move through, encouraging the unraveling of what has been to reveal what could or will be. As always, there are choices to make about which direction to go in, if you feel ready enough to take your next steps into your higher timeline which affects the health of all of your ‘bodies’: emotional, physical, spiritual, etc.

This shaking up of old timelines is not meant to bring suffering, though parts of you may be experiencing it this way. This is actually love waking you up to what has NOT been love, or at least what has not been ENOUGH love. It’s as good a time as any right now to realize that the ‘love’ that parts of you have held dear between yourself and others may not actually be enough when it comes to the deeper longing for love transaction you have inside. You may have cultivated much more self-love lately than ever before and this is catapulting you into a new timeline where this self-love overflow gets to transact more fully and nourishingly with others.

Long-established relationships of all kinds are especially being backlit right now in this way… what has been long-established may still bring enough nourishment if you and they can move together into a shared higher timeline, yet this isn’t always the case and right now this could be the deepest pain to feel as the letting go process is let in. Ultimately, every single person and being (animals included) in your life has sovereignty and a timeline for themselves that they get to choose somehow, consciously or unconsciously. There is nothing you can really do to shift this for them, as this is up to them. My sense is that even animals get to have their choice about whether or not they will ascend alongside their human companions.

The ‘3’ symbol being presented today and all month I can see now is a fork in the road… you have an array of choices, as does every being in your life as you’ve known it. Your parts have choices too, that they get to make along with you as you bring them along on your next trajectory.

I feel how this is a lot to digest and has a deep rumble to it… I feel how my own choices are arriving at my doorstep personally, how it’s always ultimately a choice of becoming our biggest, brightest soul selves or continuing to avoid making that choice and taking those steps. No matter what, the love we are all offered from the Divine is ever-present and supportive… understanding in a way that goes beyond ideas of unconditional love. The Divine wants to offer this love to you and parts of you as you feel all of this through and lean in to the trust that is being invited of you in each moment of ache, of desire, of deep deep learning and process.

This guided meditation from Jelelle Awen may help you tap into and feel your higher timeline possibilities and offer support for you at this time:

Much love to you through all of the rumbles… and if you feel drawn to ask for support, my beloveds and I can help you bridge to your higher timeline and process everything you need to process to step into it more and more: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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Being In All That The Moment Has To Offer: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Feb 25, 2019)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

This week’s Museletter launches with a piece by Raphael Awen, who invites you to feel the difference between striving to ‘be in the moment’ in order to feel better and choosing to ‘be in the moment’ in such a way that allows you to feel everything you’re currently feeling:

What if really being in the moment is more to do with a simple willingness to feel all that is moving through in any given moment …..even if it isn’t peaceful, or centered, or loving? Centered, loving and peaceful can only be real if it begins with an acknowledgment of what it isn’t.

He goes on to highlight how being in this feeling place allows you to become an ambassador of love to all parts of you in each and every moment, allowing them to deeply heal and move out of suffering for good. This is where the most profound life changes stem from, or conversely, if the real pain is not felt, then major and necessary life changes are actually shut down or avoided.

Join us for a meeting at the SoulFullHeart Community House on March 3rd from 1pm to 3pm PST to experience a guided meditation and personal sharing afterwards! We will lead you in a powerful, high vibrational guided meditation to connect to your Higher Self. Your Higher Self is the aspect of your soul that vibrates in a higher vibrational frequency and is available for you to experience, get guidance from, and also embody more and more.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be facilitating an in-person group session on March 10th from 10:00am to 5:00pm PST in Victoria, Canada for $111 CAD minimum donation. The group session offers resonant soul community, individual process digestion space, and high-vibration connections.

For more info on these events, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

We have two powerful live stream recordings to share with you this week! Raphael and Jelelle led a live stream during the latest Supermoon, where they shared a guided meditation to connect with the energies and activations coming in and digested their effects plus some new ways to feel everything you could be feeling.

The other live stream was an intro to the ongoing video series that Raphael Awen and Gabriel Heartman are going to be leading together, about healing the wounded masculine and discovering the sacred masculine within for men and women, both. They led a discussion about the ways in which to discover the masculine energies within and feel how the wounded masculine has likely expressed in your life, and offered guided meditation in which you’re invited to connect with your inner wounded masculine, sacred masculine, and Inner Protector too.

There are many new articles and audio recordings for you to take in this week from Jelelle and Raphael, Gabriel, Kalayna Colibri, and Raianna Shai. They all share about the Love Ambassador that you can BEcome to parts of you, energies around you, things rumbling in the collective, your own process, and every single thing you may be feeling.

Raphael, Jelelle, Gabriel, and Kalayna (Kalayna is available to serve women 25 and under) offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $55 USD minimum donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Loving Others Is A Sacred Opportunity

by Kalayna Colibri

Loving others isn’t a mandate. It’s not something we are required to do. Nothing can magically force us to love each other… and the truth is, we actually can’t fully love each other until we have love overflowing from within.

Loving others, then, is a byproduct. It’s something we will organically feel flowing between us the more we love ourselves.

Loving ourselves is not a mandate either… but an open and constant invitation that we can choose to accept and journey into, or choose to walk away from.

There are many ways we can learn to love ourselves so we can love others deeper with more genuine appreciation and respect, even reverence. One way is to be with and love deeply ALL parts of you. There are so many in there, waking up and wanting love. They may have some funny ways of asking for love, such as through self-ridicule, criticism, depression, or anxiety… but they want love just the same.

If you can learn to love them, in everything they are, you WILL come to love yourself… and then, in this same frequency and consistency, you WILL come to love others in ways never taught or imagined before, even when the relationship ground can’t transact or find mutual nourishment and you need to love them with healthy boundaries in place.

Even though the path to deeply loving myself is challenging sometimes, I have always found it so worth it… it’s worth all that you’re asked to feel by and with love… it’s worth looking at the darker parts or the ones that can express with darkness where they don’t care or have much compassion for others or, firstly, for themselves. It’s worth it, because in my experience, the possibility of transacting and being IN deep love with others who are also on this journey is incredible. Unreal! Nourishing beyond what you’ve thought of as nourishing. Every time my heart opens more to myself, I feel it open more towards others. And that feels much better than any past efforts made to falsely love others or love them only for what I or parts of me could get from them.

Such is the depth of healing possible. Such is the way of true and real love. And these are the possibilities for deeper unity and love transaction in our Sacred Human family. ❤️

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Readying Yourself For More LOVE ON ‘Love Day’

by Kalayna Colibri

It’s Valentine’s Day today, and that brings up a lot for so many… even as I celebrate the day with my beloved Gabriel, I feel how much I’ve had to move through even recently to really see him and let him in more, even while we explored being ‘just friends’ for a while and there was a necessary inner boundary to doing this. I feel how this has been equally a process inside of me, for my inner feminine and masculine aspects to really start seeing each other and letting each other in more. What a dance this is, and ongoingly too, in ways and on levels you wouldn’t necessarily expect! I look at Gabriel and feel so attracted and drawn to every chakra, every limb, every nuance of his being, and I feel how much this might bring up for others who haven’t experienced this yet and are readying themselves for it.

We don’t ever have to be perfect to let in the love we desire. We are invited to be present to the process of the deepening and the journey that unfolds even while in your most desirable relationship yet.

I’ve been on both sides of the coin on different Valentine’s Days – in the celebration and the pain. And both are worth feeling fully… both are alchemical and can lead you to more of what you need to feel so you can draw the romance you most deeply desire and the overall experience of love in your life too. I feel the ache you may be in, and I feel Love there with you in it, helping guide the way to a deeper experience of it in ways you may not even realize are possible.

It’s a good day to write to Love itself, asking it to be with you in your ache and also perhaps celebrating its existence. Love wants to hear you, be close to you, feel you. It understands that you have felt hurt by it yet wants to have a new relationship with you and parts of you. It wants to ascend with you into higher frequencies and meet you there where it already thrives too. How do parts of you relate to love in general, let alone romantic love?

I feel Love offering now: “You are loved and that love is not conditional or based on anything other than your very existence. You are Love itself finding its way back to itself and that journey in all its highs and lows is sacred and worth it. You get to explore it all, dance with all polarizations and expressions, or just BE with the waves of it and what is being illuminated. Either way, today brings you an invitation to a sacred dance within and with others. The ways you choose to relate to it rests with you and I am here, always, to be in all of this with you!”

The time to explore love is anytime you choose and the choice is always yours, today and every day. ❤️

From my heart to yours, Happy Love Day! ❤️❤️

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Support To Be Your Own Healer – SoulFullHeart Bridging Sessions: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Feb 4, 2019)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

This week’s featured article is from SoulFullHeart Teacher and Facilitator, Jelelle Awen. She brings in the frequencies that we offer to you in one-on-one Bridging Sessions, painting a picture of what it’s like to feel the support and self-empowerment that awakens within you as a desired result of these sessions:

“During 1:1 90 minute sessions over zoom, we set the stage for you with our experience and lived in relationship to the SoulFullHeart process. We support you to discover how it can help YOU to heal yourself. YOU connect to support systems that have always been there for you, such as Star Family and Divine guides, even if you haven’t always been conscious of them. We offer when it feels like a specific part/aspect is coming forward and then collaborate with you to discover that part and the traumatic scenes it may be stuck in/looping in OR timeline bleed through that is happening.”

Each session is 90min long and is a $55 USD minimum donation to book. More information can be found here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be facilitating an in-person group session on March 10th from 10:00am to 5:00pm PST

in Victoria for $111 CAD minimum donation. The group session offers resonant soul community, individual

process digestion space, and high vibration connections. For more info, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

The final three videos in Jelelle’s ‘Deepen’ series are available for you to take in. They include a light language activation, silent meditation, and digestions with all of the SoulFullHeart core community members of the entire series, their experience of it, and their invitations for you to feel and inhabit your next steps, which may include booking at least one 1:1 session with a Facilitator.

Many new articles for you to take in this week, including digestions of different ways in which you could experience your process of being with parts of you and the different themes that could emerge, plus a sweet engagement announcement from Gabriel and Kalayna!

Raphael, Jelelle, Gabriel, and Kalayna (Kalayna is available to serve women 25 and under) offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $55 USD minimum donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Inner Sacred Union Deepening, Outer Sacred Union ‘Engagement’!

by Kalayna Colibri

The Lunar New Year/New Moon energy yesterday brought in a personal wave of NEW for Gabriel and I… after nearly 7 years of knowing each other, several relationship iterations (some romantic, some not) and now a year and a half of being in a deep Sacred Union together, we’ve decided to ‘get engaged’ and celebrate our next steps into even deeper union!! ❤

Earlier this week I had found myself moving through a sacred process of shedding my old relationships on an even deeper level. An old relationship to men that on some level was keeping my parts from really seeing Gabriel for the man he truly is. I felt deep tears as parts of me and Metasoul aspects too let go of another layer of him holding a ‘father figure’ and energy for them and let in Divine Father as the desired ‘father figure’ energy on a deeper level. I felt Father holding my parts as I moved through deep churning inside around the wounded masculine and how my parts have been personally affected by this energy and also how it has lived inside of me in my own masculine aspect.

In a way, this was a process of really letting in what I have with Gabriel in a new way. Coming out of these tears, I felt held by Father but also by the energy of Gabriel’s HIgher Self and essence, even though he wasn’t even home to witness my tears in person. I felt the heat of his warm heart bath, the beacon of light that he IS after years of deep and ongoing inner process to suss out the wounded masculine within and BE in LOVE with it within himself as it transmutes.

I realized after the dust had settled in my purging heart and soul field that I really wanted to marry this man… to celebrate our union and to make a deeper commitment. There’s a way that we could see marriage as something strictly 3D, but it isn’t strictly 3D beyond the legal paperwork. It represents something to parts of us but also facilitates a movement in our souls that brings in more lifetimes/timelines for us to feel together and individually. It activates the deeper union that we ‘know’ together in ways we haven’t explored yet, even the tougher ones to feel that aren’t so romantic.

It’s with an excited and FULL heart that I announce this engagement in my own way today… it’s with so much LOVE that is flowing inside of my heart, soul, and body that I share a piece of my process around letting this in. The journey into and through this sort of relationship is worth the discomfort of feeling the places of ‘yuck’ that help you let it in more at the end of the day. It’s worth the risk of losing it just to claim it all over again, starting inside between parts of you that have yet to claim each other. And, it’s worth the journey of healing and learning, yearning and aching, shaking up the old inside to let in the NEW… ❤

My beloved, my “friend”…

In many lifetimes of long due USness

and overdue claiming

We meet each other in this bliss mess dance

of Sacred Union.

Beyond blessed I am

As the Queen I am BEcoming

because of YOU,

with YOU,

as I lean in

and our dreams connect

in this swirl and dance

of overflowing service.

I have never met a King like you before

I have never been the Queen I AM now

because of the water I take in

living in your precious heart-garden.

You are the King of my heart

The bastion of deeply committed healing

and I look forward to all of the MORES

that await our creation

in our brand new phase

as “husband” and “wife”.

I LOVE you! ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Loving Your Inner Beast

By Raianna Shai

Self judgement and unworthiness are feelings that are hard to reach the root of. It can take years of unraveling just why and how we truly see ourselves and how it plays out in our lives. We can point fingers at all the people who made us feel small. The people who judged us. The people who could never forgive our mistakes. The people who invalidated our feelings.

But what about the part of you that has done all the same things? The part that tells you you’re not good enough. That constantly reminds you of your mistakes. That judges every move you make, every awkward thing you do. What if this part of you wasn’t just judging you, but judging itself? And what if all the hate and anger and insults were just this part’s way of trying to protect you? We are not victims to our circumstances, so anyone or anything that hurts you is a reflection of a part inside that hurts you too.

I’ve been working with this part of me lately, which can be called a Punisher part, to feel how and why my insecurity can get in the way of my own self love and how it affects my relationships. His name is Brutus and he sees himself as a beast – like in Beauty and the Beast. And all of the goodness that lives inside me can be represented by a rose covered in a glass case. He is fiercely loyal and strives to protect this rose by any means necessary. But his version of protection is to judge her until she does everything perfectly – then no one else can judge her.

This part of me is not easy to feel. He is harsh, brutal and very unforgiving. Every person that has ever gotten mad at me, judged me, or insulted me has actually been backed up by him. He takes everything that was said or felt about me and multiplies it by 10. He expects me to do better, he feels ashamed for how I acted or things I said, he punishes me for doing something wrong.

So instead of using the knowledge and intuition he has about my emotions to protect me, he actually just makes me feel worse about it. But one thing I’ve learned is that he just wants love himself. In his vulnerability, he feels so much remorse for how he has made other parts of me feel about themselves and in turn, other people. He feels he doesn’t deserve love or forgiveness.

But the second me and all parts of me truly forgave him, he started to shift massively. He turned into a prince and he could feel all that he has to offer. Intuition, discernment, and a healthy protection and transparency about how I’m really feeling.

So when I am feeling unworthiness or when there is a truth I need to say to someone, I can call on him and his opened out heart to say what I need to say. Instead of letting my hurt build up and explode out, we will work together to be honest and loving to ourselves and others. Because kindness cannot come from an empty vessel. We must cultivate it within ourselves so deeply, that we can’t help but overflow into others.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Eclipse And SOULar Winds Provide Deep Purging & Clearing: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Jan 21, 2019)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

This week, Jelelle Awen provides us with an energy update, offering that the recent Lunar Eclipse and incoming SOULar winds have been supporting a necessary purge in our emotional bodies and in our relationships too:

“What I am seeing during sessions is that this eclipse is bringing in purging and clearing on the emotional body level as connected to Metasoul timelines/lifetimes that hold heavier karmic, archetypal energies. Sexual abuse frequencies are being activated from this life (if you bravely signed up to experience and then transmute them) AND also from other lifetimes. Veils of amnesia are being lifted to remember these experiences, even from early childhood, so that they may be healed.”

On February 2 @11am PST, Jelelle will be hosting a virtual group call on Zoom to help you digest and give you space to share if you’ve been following her ‘Deepen’ video series. The last group call she hosted on behalf of this series was powerful and deep and everyone who attended felt touched by the energy shared and cultivated and the boost in their personal frequency that they received from it. It is $11 USD minimum donation to attend and you can find out more information here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

The latest videos in Jelelle’s series feature Jelelle hosting Kalayna Colibri, Gabriel Heartman, and Raphael Awen as they lead you through several beautiful guided meditations and digest different themes. Kalayna and Jelelle visited the realm of the dragons where you can meet your own dragon (or another creature that shows up for you). Gabriel offers a meditation, on his birthday, to feel your own very sacred rebirth process and a celebration of it with your parts and guides. Raphael comes on to guide you through a meditation that takes you into your castle for a ball where your parts and Metasoul aspects can dance together and you may even meet your Sacred Union partner, who you may or may not have met in real life yet. Jelelle takes you into different spaces to feel a variety of parts of you, including the Inner Mother, Inner Punisher, Inner Teenager, and Star Seed. She also offers a way to take in the energies of the recent Lunar Eclipse and a guided meditation to help you integrate these energies.

There are many new writings for you this week from Jelelle, Raphael, Gabriel, Kalayna, Devon Heart Star, and Raianna Shai! Phew!! Many energy updates, ways to digest your awakening experiences, offerings of how to be with every emotion that comes up, and some big celebrations of Gabriel’s birthday and appreciations for and from the man himself.

Raphael, Jelelle, Gabriel, and Kalayna (Kalayna is available to serve women 25 and under) offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $55 USD minimum donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Gabriel: Rebirthing And Arising King Of Heart… Happy Birthday!

by Kalayna Colibri

I don’t think we will ever fully understand this unraveling mystery of us… our connection that somehow keeps opening out, even with moments of tension, fear, and remembering the poignancy of what we have together. We have walked out many crucibles individually and as a couple too, including years of moving through different forms and depths of connection in our relationship together.

I feel how far we’ve come… how far you’ve come as a leader, a King-man, a lover, and heartist, and how that keeps everything alive! You’re in a new phase of really wearing your crown and showing up as the WayShower through the shadowland that you ARE. I have never met anyone who loves their shadow more than you, beloved. You have been so courageous and willing to keep going in and not faltering in that quest. I deeply admire and love you. I feel my parts appreciating your light and your encouragement, overflowing from the ways in you love love and encourage your own parts to keep showing up and keep feeling. Your beacon is lighting up… your inner space is broadening to let in more of those you’re meant to serve through this being that you are and keep becoming more of every single day.

For you… ❤️

Built on impermanent sands this castle is

Phase after glorious phase

With frolicking roses and the tallest trees,

Fertile ground for fruitful bounty

Of where lovers hearts can go together.

Foraging love from each bush and channel

Each shadowed branch

From seeds unknown

Brings new mystery to this USness

We have only just discovered

Has more depth

Than we could have known

In previous lifetimes in THIS lifetime!

With expanding wings,

glistening crown,

And elaborate shell,

Your eagle King

And turtle monk

Serve love with you

In all moments

And each turn of your heart-light

Toward the new and renewed.

I am honoured

And in deep admiration

Of the man that is you…

Thank you…

For all you are

All you will be

And all you call for me to see in me too.

I love you! ❤️🔥

Happy Birthday!

Love,

Kalayna

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Lunar Eclipse Supports Feeling Shadow of Polarizations, Invites Unity

By Kalayna Colibri

Last night while witnessing the moon’s eclipse and feeling it hanging very close to my field, I was struck by a feeling of emerging sisterhood in my life and process, yet also the potential for it worldwide.

Yet… the temptation for many seems to still be that the way to unify is in anger. The way to find our common ground is to get pissed. To rage. To march. To condemn the masculine… in men yet also in each other. This is masculine versus masculine in the end, leaving the world inside and outside of us without any room for the sacred masculine AND feminine to unite and make love.

Pointing fingers, protesting, arguing without care of where and how it lands in each other is a phase of our relationship to each other that wants to move into something new. It’s a deep shadow expression of our fear of actually loving ourselves and each other. It’s a fear that the cycles of pain will continue while we continue to become a cog in the wheel, contributing to this cycle with that same fear. Real intimacy brings up a lot more than anger and push-away. It brings up tears and vulnerability, it brings up what’s underneath the rage and presses the heart to open in order to keep giving and receiving nourishment.

This picture of relationship I’m describing is not idealized or impossible… I get to live this every day, I get to be challenged by the presence of others who want to keep this flow going within themselves and with me, I get to feel and meet the challenge of continuing to move through my resistance to love and to keep letting it in… knowing full well that doing so means walking into fires of personal funeral pyres as the old way of approaching life and others passes away, and also knowing that it means getting to experience the heaven of a deeper and easier love flow than I’ve ever experienced before.

Even last night… sharing intimacy with my mate Gabriel, feeling his admiration of myself, my body, my heart and soul, I felt my admiration for his and let his male gaze into every pore. I felt so many tears come up and out like a fountain, feeling the pain of my soul and heart in relating to the masculine in ways that weren’t nourishing on either side and feeling afraid of it. Feeling the pain of a collective of women and what they’ve experienced and also the pain of the men who have not ever been initiated into how to make real love with a woman and what it feels like to be truly met or felt on their side either.

The more energy that’s spent in blame-game shaming and pushing away at each other, the less opportunities we create for the deep healing and nourishing intimacy that’s possible, that wants to bloom and blossom starting between parts of you that are polarized to each other but who want love more than anything else in this world. Starting to see and feel these dynamics within is the best and most profound way to shift what you draw in your outer relationships and what you start to see is really possible with each of them. ❤️

For support as you go into this territory and really feel how it all applies or could apply to you, my beloveds and I hold sacred session space for these explorations and more: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.