Diary of a HeartMan: Brotherhood of Sacred Power


I see and feel a picture in my heartmind. There are machines that have cords attached to the brains of men who are nothing more than slaves sucked of their essence. Above the machines are other men who are the creators and controllers. They have a sinister yet pained look on their face. In the background there are men hunting and killing other men. In the whole scene there is a play-out of control and powerlessness. In not one place do I see men in their full power together, creating and leading.

This feels like a painting of the collective masculine condition. Everyone feels alone and isolated, detached from their humanity and nature. What is missing is an authentic and sacred brotherhood. I used to call a close friend of mine a ¨brother¨ and even my brother in-law a ¨brother¨. What did that really mean? Our desire to call each other brother was based on a need to feel a deeper connection that we weren´t getting from other men. One that we couldn´t get from the women in our lives because there is a uniquely male ache, just as there is a uniquely female ache that we cannot relate to as men. And this ache isn´t satiated just by playing sports, fixing or building things, complaining about politics, or going to bars and trying to get laid. So what the hell is it?

Raphael and I attended a men´s group in Canada to get a feeling for what other men were talking about and feeling together in these kind of circles. I had never been to one so I had no idea really what to expect. The men in the circle were processing an issue that had been effecting them as a group and was centered on one man in particular. What was refreshing was that I was around other men who were actually being more real than I was used to experiencing outside of my relationship with Raphael. However, in the end it was really nothing more than a place to off-gas frustration, letting it permeate the space without actually getting to the heart of the issue so that there could be movement and healing.

In the circle there was a sense of brotherhood but it still didn´t hit the mark for me. Not by a long shot. Relieving frustration is not enough. I am certain not all men´s groups are like this. I don´t want to generalize by my one experience. One could say, ¨Well, at least they have that outlet.¨ I guess so, but why stop there? There is collective ache out there that is so desiring to be felt by those that feel the same. In all the expressions of ¨brotherhood¨ from the dense to the more porous, I feel you, I, and all of us are searching for love and a reclaiming of our authentic male power.

I feel ¨man-love¨ deserves its own dedicated blog space, so I will get to that on a later post. The loss of our natural power as sacred masculine beings has occurred over history. Our separation from our spiritual essence, I feel, has led to a collective experience of fear and isolation. The male psyche, without feeling its divinity, needed to gain some sort of control in order to cover over this existential terror. Over the centuries, many men, and women, have tried to direct us back to the source of our real nature as spiritual beings, but only to be rebuffed by the empirical, the tyrannical, and the industrial.

Men in days gone by gave their lives for ¨freedom¨. Men, and women, are still doing it today. I put the word in quotes because it feels like a loaded term. Whereas a kingdom is the domain of a king, freedom is the domain of the free. It represents power. The ability to live in your fullest expression. But what is your fullest expression? Is it to be able to digest all the entertainment you want? Is it to be able to buy all the coolest technologies that complicate rather than simplify your life? Is it to be able to work your ass off for 30 years only to find out all your savings disappeared because the fuckers in charge shorted all the stocks that were in your 401k? Fuck no!

The Tyranny of Industry has put more men in slavery than any other despot in history. Is that an over the top statement? Do you want me to find the ´facts´? If that is the case then you are in the wrong room. I want you to feel this on a soul level. Look around you. What do you see and feel when you observe other men going through the motions every damn day? What has this done to our sense of power? Are the men and women overseas really fighting for ´freedom´ or are they handing over their power to the grim reapers of the corporatocracy?

All of this makes me feel a sadness in my heart. We have allowed ourselves to be divided and conquered. However, to make this an us versus them only puts us in the realm of victims. We are not victims. We are powerful beings who desperately desire to remember what we have forgotten. Even the men who are ¨in control¨ are no different than you and I. We are all brothers in need of a community of love. Individually, you need to feel your own responsibility in continuing the story that I mentioned in my last blog. What part do you play? Only then can you see what choices you can make to move from slave to sovereign.

The Industrial Age has had a huge impact on us as men in regards to our balls and our hearts. We are in a time of great change and upheaval. The control structure will try to hold on as long as possible but inevitably will collapse. This is where a vacuum is created. What will fill that empty space? Fanaticism or grounded, human leadership? A despot or a king? Looking at the world today it is hard to find a single example. We have a destiny together, you, I, and us . Rome is burning and what comes out of the ashes is totally up to us. I hope you will join me in creating another picture more humane and beautiful than the one I started out with.


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