Dear Love,

Dear Love, 

 

Who and what are you really to me?

How to I authentically and honestly relate to you?

What lures me and repels me so? 

So many questions that can only lead me on a quest. 

A quest to open the doors that remain closed to you. 

 

I have experience you flood my house

Set my world on fire

And send me to the moon.

I remember how you have broken me open

And invited me to see what I really didn’t really want to see

 

You have felt like a bully, a beacon, an enemy, and a teacher 

To the varied parts of me that have their own relationship to you

But how do I Gabriel see you? 

What does this man’s heart want and need from you? 

 

I want to see you how you see me

I want to feel the breath of your wildness down my spine

I want to hear the whispers and the shouts 

That guide me to places previously feared

I want to touch your sesuality and ecstasy

And taste the sweetness and realness 

Of that which that courses through you

 

I need to stop playing games of hide and seek 

And walk upon your secret garden 

And sow my seed upon your fertile ground

The seeds of my desire, my purpose, my joy

 

I need your help to shine the light upon the places

You have not been permitted to enter

To open up those up so I can let in the love that is meant to find me

To see the world and myself through those very eyes

 

I feel ready to be consumed by you

Ready to be seen by you

To be transformed and moved by you

Even as I feel a quake when I say that

 

This is my meditation

My daily prayer

My devotion to your embodied promotion

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

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Your Truth Leads You To What Is Honest

Telling our truth and being honest with ourselves can sometimes be two different things. 

Our truth can come from multiple sources, or parts, within us. They may be aligned or in conflict. Truth has power behind it. It can have a force that cleans house and resets the furniture. It has its own volition that is meant to offer a portal into who we really are, even if it seems contradictory. 

When we get honest with ourselves, something else happens altogether. We are seeing ourselves fully. We get to a core place that has a sobriety and a wider/deeper look into our hearts and souls. The pain, the selfishness, the judgement, the fear. When we get honest, not just truthful, we have dug in deeper to pull out something more lasting, more embodied. 

Honesty makes us transparent and responsible for our truth. When I felt to purge my FU’s two days ago, what was I honestly doing? Was I just dumping my stuff or was I genuinely feeling guided to share my humanity? Was a part of me looking for an argument to test the waters of this new ground inside of myself or was there just a desire to be more real with myself and others? 

I feel there is a bit of truth in all of it. That is my honesty. Looking and feeling my truths holistically. It gives me doorways into myself and also the pulse of those that responded. I definitely noticed that women mostly responded. That could reflect my own inner feminine looking for my masculine to arise more in the space. It felt like the masculine in the collective feminine was asking for men to do the same. Just get real, bro! 

What is real for me is such a varied and dynamic thing. Right now I feel softer than I did yesterday, but the caldron of truth still burns. It is meant to integrate into me so I can be more honest. How that comes out will shift and change over time as I feel the deeper layers under the anger and feel the part of me that has been suppressed. 

This is not necessarily new territory for me, but mostly another layer of growth that is looking to express and serve those that it is meant to serve. It is one that I feel we can all relate to, whether we feel ourselves to be easily honest or if it is difficult. What I want to explore next is the ENERGY by which we share our truths. That frequency does illuminate a lot about how we honestly feel underneath the words themselves.  

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Sacred, Healthy FU

Sometimes we just need a healthy dose of ‘F You’. I feel it coursing through my body this morning not sure of its origination. Maybe all this feminine work is gurgling up my repressed masculine. An aspect of my masculine that is fu**king tired of being good, nice, and higher frequency. I have done much better since my earlier days when I would be less than transparent about what I was truly feeling. Mostly the ire would be inward directed toward myself. It still does to some degree but not as much as before.

I got this way from what I feel I came into this world with. A soul history of guilt, shame, and despair. Well, the clouds of those energies are starting to finally lift and leave my field and what is coming up is the energy that it had always suppressed. The anger, the ugly, the raw.

So I avoided it my whole life in order to f**king care-take my mother who instilled me with fear and anxiety about life and other people. A fear that if I got too real that she would drink herself into oblivion. F You!

I avoided it with my father out of an existential fear as a boy that I would not survive the following five minutes afterward. F You!

I avoided it with my sister out of protection of her own rage toward life and a scalding criticism of my masculinity. F You too!

I avoided it with my step-father lest I got the stoic shut-down or a call to the mental hospital. And my step-mother for her rage against anything that came out of a man’s mouth that might be construed as anti-woman. F You both!

So from there the relationship to any man or woman was a combination of all these things. I was drawn by women who wanted the nice guy in their life for once, but then would lose interest when that very thing became not enough to sustain or interest. I need to say ‘F You’ to that too! I have my own ‘F Me’ in that to own too. I was a coward and couldn’t get to my f**king truth to either complete or move the relationship deeper. So in purgatory I sat.

With men, I feared getting into an altercation and being called out as a list of unmentionable words that cut to the core of my unworth. I was only in a fight once and it just took one punch and that was it. I projected my father onto many, if not all of them.

Well, f**king no more. I feel this part of me tired of that shit. It may get a little ugly at times but I guess it is better than managed. I am over-experienced in apology so that won’t be an issue. I need to work on being less apologetic even if I am in the ‘wrong’ for a period of time. THAT, to a part of me, would be progress, believe it or not.

Thank you for taking this in if you did. I feel changed already inside of me. I feel many of us could use a healthy ‘F you’ to help clean out the masculine pipes so feel free down below. I feel it is the most spiritual thing we can do if it authentic and real.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Saying Hello To The Feminine Within

The one thing that feels universal about our humanity is our relationship to our masculinity and femininity. In my past and current processes I have been in an exploration of this very thing within myself. It has been one of the most illuminating parts of my journey. It has not been all of it, but has been a good portion of it. 

When I am out in the world I feel the ebbs and flows of these energies moving within and outside of me. Merging, conflicting, dancing, resisting, and hiding. Really fascinating! As humans I don’t think we can ignore this polarity that is staring at us right in the face. It has so much influence on how we relate, create, love, and hate. 

I have come in closer intimacy with the complexity and simplicity of this dynamic within me. As a man that was always in some confusion about my own masculinity I am coming to terms with what that means for me personally as I become more familiar with my feminines. Yes, plural. 

We so easily just want to make it one thing, like ‘my feminine side’. Very general and obtuse. But what if was more specific and acute. What then? What comes up to feel something inside that has its own perspective and needs? Its own voice and passion? 

The same could be said about our own Inner Child. Tapping into their voice, their needs, their passion. Now a step further. What about an Inner Feminine Child? This just goes on and on! My point is that we are much more than ‘this’ and ‘that’. We are composition of so much more than we have allowed ourselves to be open to. Of course this goes into our celestial beings as well! 

As a man, this journey is one that feels pretty important and alive. It is a journey that can help to rumble the foundations of the patriarchy by our own willingness to face what we have kept in our shadow. Our relationship to the feminine parts and aspects of us that have been sequestered for a very long time. 

Let us be like the prince that woke up Snow White and see what she has to offer us in our heart, our intuition, our sexuality, and our masculinity. She is ready to be connected to and yet fears being rejected once again. Let us feel what we fear the most about her so we can begin to heal this global dynamic once and for all.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Increasing Light Exposing The Dark Knight: Response To Mass Shootings

Somehow this is becoming a tragic reality of the unfolding drama within a country. Within humanity. After two back-to-back shootings on the heals of another just days earlier, it becomes clearer that a country is on a verge. I say a country because the US leads the world in these types of events. The mass shooting. The most numbers in one incident happened in Norway, but the volume of incidents and deaths happen in the US. 

It is also by the hands of men. Young men who all had deep emotional issues prior to the event. They have been described as outside the bounds of intimate community with a deep feeling of rejection and disenfranchisement. Yes, they are mostly white, and many have used their own hate as the fuel for their actions. The hate has been both indiscriminate and specific. We are all affected. 

I get that there is a war going on. It is undeniable to me. It is going on in the heart and soul of a populace of men. This saddens me deeply. It has edges of despair and hopelessness at times. These men have faced their own experience with violence and feeling unloved. When a part of them feels rejected, either by an individual or a group, this part needs to find a way to get its power back. It is a dark knight that seeks the throne of attention in any way it can, and being steeped in violence it has the means already at hand. 

This is a Violence Matrix. One that permeates the heart and soul of the wounded masculine. This aspect of men is permeable to influence in order to feel power. They can become pawns in a much larger game going on. They can create useful distractions and reactions that lead toward a specific goal. It is a soul history of being a soldier for The Cause. A 4D matrix that has deep roots. This is where the healing is if we can get there. The one great effect we have as men is to go into this and find out where that wound lives. That disempowerment, that rage, that violence. 

We all have our reactions to this from despair to indignation. When this happens the Rage of Change comes out loud and clear, but until we learn to love our own Dark Knight the cycle seems to keep recurring. As Gaia continues to enter more and more of the photonic light belt, we are going to see increased exposure of what lies deep within our collective shadow. These men are us. If we disconnect from them, we disconnect from a deeply wounded part of us seeking Love. We disconnect from a soul brother that is still in war and in battle. Fighting for his continued right to hate himself above all else. This brings me to tears. This brings me to wanting to love him and give him a home. No gun control legislation can heal this, even if it can stem it. 

We are being given the opportunity to feel something deeper. This is what Disclosure is offering us. It is not pretty. It is not overly welcome. But it is real and we need to face it. Otherwise, the wheel goes around one more time.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

 

Lion’s Gate Energy To Activate And Empower The Inner Masculine

This upcoming Lion’s Gate feels like a very activating and empowering portal. We are being offered the support to go in and access where we are still recapitulating dynamics and patterns in our emotional body and Metasoul. These cycles are looking to complete with love and compassion and reemerge into new cycles of higher manifestations and empowered, self-loving choices.

The inner masculine provides the ‘juice’ for this transition transmission. It creates the container by which the healing and emerging can deepen. If you feel like there a block to manifesting or moving into your next phase of growth, there is a part of you that has a resistance to that.

It can be a Protector/Gatekeeper that knows what is possible if that container is created. It means you have the ways and means to get even more intimate with yourself and your shadow. It also means that you have more to ‘lose’ if you are successful at the manifestation of what it is you truly want.

With each portal we are being shown what it is we need to go into to further this ascension process. Subconsciously we have some clue and THAT is what scares us. Going in it is what brings us to the other side, but do we have just enough worth to bring the unworth with us and see what happens?

This is a great time to feel what it is you really want out of life. Put in your Christmas list now as the Universe, and our Sirian aspects, want to give it to us! It is all right here for each of us to grab. Santa’s bag is an Infinite well of goodies! This is where it can feel too good to be true for many parts and aspects of you anchored in the unworth and scarcity.

Tapping into your Sirian guides, your inner masculine/feminine, inner child/teenager, and Protector/Gatekeeper can help bring clarity to what has kept you from fully inhabiting and claiming what it is you really want and believe you can be.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Velveteen Rabbit Within Us All

Digesting a lot in the aftermath of completion. My heart and consciousness still calibrating to a new reality post-marriage. There are ghost-like sensations throughout the day, things that I would normally have responded to are no longer there. It is a bit of a emotive and cognitive dissonance yet that is the very thing that lands me back into me.

Me.

Who is that even? I am beginning to become aware of who I was and which parts of me were in response to all of the relationship dynamics. I do feel a core self that has been there but the degree to which “he” showed up is still in question. That is the current process. Taking stock of where “I” was and who this “I” even is.

It is not so much existential or judgmental as it is curious with compassion. That is what allows the shadow to come out and be seen and felt. Just hanging outside the cave entrance and letting it know that I am here to be a friend and a caring advocate. Not a punisher or a hunter looking for extradition.

When we go through emotional times like this it can be so easy for a part of us to go into “fix it” mode or into the blame/shame game. Instead there is an opportunity here for us to get to some tender and profound understandings of what make us who we ARE and who we want to be going forward. This makes all our experiences sacred and meaningful. We get to come in contact with aspects of ourselves that are deep need of love and forgiveness.

Through this experience I will find something that may not look “good” or feel good, but if my Higher Heart is leading the way I can guarantee I will find something that will be real and that is what any of us can hope to aspire to. Just ask the Velveteen Rabbit.

******

Initiation Into The Sacred Masculine On Father’s Day

Today Father’s Day is happening inside of me. Today I open my heart to my inner boys. My inner child and inner teenager. The ones that didn’t get the initiation into the world of the divine masculine. This is not a knock against my 3D fathers. They did all they could do with what they were here to initiate me into. I have had my own personal healing process around what I did or didn’t receive as a growing and maturing boy. I had tears last night for what could have been.

Yet, in that moment I realized I can do that for myself. For them. I can connect to the divine masculine within via my masculine guides, metasoul brothers, and the Divine Father. Big Papa Love. He says he is here to continue my initiation. He is here to lead me to my True Man self. The one where my truth is felt and expressed in equal parts. The one where the courage to Be is as important as the courage to lead.

I am to continue this deepening quest for self-love, self-worth, and self-pride. One that heals and integrates the feminine within. It is an ongoing process of claiming Her inside of me. Of reconciling the judgments and the suppression. It is letting go of what was to let in what IS and can Be. It is falling in love with yourself so deeply that it has nowhere else to go but out. Out into the world in the service of humanity. In service of Love Itself.

In a world where masculinity has searched for answers and control, it is time to be initiated into a new vision of the ascending masculine. One in which love, peace, passion, and creativity are the leading edges of our quest while healing, and not denying, our trailing shadow edges.

From this day on, shall Father’s Day represent New Man Day. Initiation Into The Vulnerable Man Day. It is a fire walk but a sacred walk. I want us all to walk this one together…from the inside out.

Happy Father’s Day to you…the father of your inner boys.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

 

The Need For Belonging, Forgiveness, And Acceptance At The Root Of Our Collective Pain

“We are not just the Light but the shadow that it casts as well. We are all looking to find love and be felt in all the pains that we have experienced. We all seek forgiveness and to be forgiven. We need to feel a part of something and to be told we are beautiful just the way we are.”

I watched a documentary last night called Jihad where the documentarian Deeyah Khan interviews different muslim men in the UK that were led to extremist Islamic groups by a particular man who fought in the war in Afghanistan against the Soviets. This former leader, known as the founding father of the Western jihad movement was interviewed as well.

Deeyah Khan’s focus was to get to the heart of the man of whom she was interviewing to understand what it truly was that led them to this extremism underneath the politics. It was a riveting and touching account of our humanity and our deep desire and NEED to feel like we belong and are accepted.

Now this is a VERY rough and tumble lower 4D energy that is hard to feel, YET for me it got to the core of something intensely profound in our collective. It has roots in our veiled perception of separation and how we have experiences that have left parts of us all feeling very alone and deemed unlovable. What Inner Protectors do to assuage that pain range from benign to extremely destructive, either toward self or others.

It is easy for this parts to get sucked into the vat of polarized politics. Even in the New Age movement there is “spiritual warfare”. This is polarized spirituality with deep roots in our own personal traumas and pains. If we were to be like this interviewer and sit down with our parts that are feeling rage, trauma, fear, angst, or frustration we can get to the deeper and more vulnerable pain that undergirds this polarization.

When this was brought with compassionate curiosity, the leader of this jihad group found himself in a flood of tears that cut to the core of his pain. His innocence and humanity were left on the table and Love was finding its way. I felt similar frequencies in my Orion self when going into the myriad timelines of galactic destruction.

The most provocative part of it was when she asked this leader, after stating that he had forgiven the people that had killed his family as a child, if had forgiven himself. This was the most powerful moment as he still had not gotten to that point and the tears and pain flooded in once more.

This act of self-forgiveness is where the road to true self-love and change begin. It is where the dreams of what is desired and possible are permitted to flourish and gain traction. When these men were asked what they wanted for themselves, each one of them could not answer. They had not thought about it their entire lives. Coming from my experience that left me sad and yet hopeful that they would find their own personal heaven within.

Watching this film brought an expanded awareness of where my humanity and spirituality meet. We are not just the Light but the shadow that it casts as well. We are all looking to find love and be felt in all the pains that we have experienced. We all seek forgiveness and to be forgiven. We need to feel a part of something and to be told we are beautiful just the way we are.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

 

Exploring And Honoring The Inner Feminine As An Integral Part Of The Ascending Masculine Journey

For some time now I have been feeling and acknowledging my inner feminine as a part of me. A very important and beloved part of me. There is a movement collectively for men to become more aware of their ‘feminine side’. This can be related to in a very general way that can just refer to our sense of sensitivity, caring, compassion, and intuition.

However, to take it a step further and give ‘her’ a name and thus a conscious identity within our physical masculine expression, can bring some interesting reactions inside. To claim our inner feminine is to relate to her in a very conscious way. It is to feel her feelings, her needs, her wounding, her story.

What has life been like for her in this male body in the context of a more patriarchal society?

If I explore this will I begin to question my own sexuality?

What will other people say if I claim her as an integral part of my being?

So to another part of me it feels like ‘coming out of the closet’. To my inner feminine part, who goes by Genevieve, this can be a bit unnerving as well considering the experiential history of feeling like she has not been welcome among other men in my life. Any hint of sensitivity that could be turned against her and me, Gabriel, was immediately thwarted by my protector.

There was a moment a while back when I could feel how growing up Genevieve would try to be a man the best she could to fit in. Doing and saying things that just weren’t her. When I actually felt this in my heart, we both had tears around it. I felt tears not just for myself but for all the other men who have these feminine parts doing the same exact thing. Men that I knew, that I friendships with.

In feeling her, I got to see and feel myself in a whole new way that actually has allowed my true masculine to emerge to the surface. Not the masculine prescribed by conditioning and trauma, but a more balanced and healthy masculine that can love and respond to his counterpart feminine.

I feel I am part of a band of brothers who live with this everyday but may be unaware or resistant to it for very good reasons. It goes beyond sexual identity and into what lives and breathes in our hearts and souls. I believe She is the next frontier of our collective male healing journey. She connects us to our Higher Heart, our sensuality, our creativity, our compassion, our intuition. She is a bridge to what lies in the shadow of the wounded masculine and his emergence into healthy strength and power.

There is more to this connection and what it means for us as spiritual male human beings. It is a beginning point for further feeling, exploration, and digestion. This comes on the heals of some pretty heavy Orion timeline bleed-throughs that need the feminine to hold and heal. I will be writing more about this as it seems fitting and necessary.

Thank you for taking in this very vulnerable and important part of my process and hope that it lands in the hearts of those it is meant to.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.