When Sacred Intimacy Finds You Brother, Go In Not Away

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She comes into your life like a surging storm of passion and purpose. Or she may have been there all along waiting on the wings of your heart until you were ready to truly see her and let her in. Either way your life will not be the same because she won’t let it. She is not here to be the complacent companion or the sexy sidekick. She is here to invite you to feel your deepest fears and MANifest your greatest expression of being. You drew her because you were ready to move beyond the confines of casual comfort. Ready to inhabit your inner King and challenge the places that you have been stuck in growth.

She is the sacred feminine seeking her sacred masculine counterpart. She lights up your divine inspiration, opens and deepens your wounded and healing heart, she sparks your passion and creativity. She also brings in a mirror. A reflection of your largess that is hard to let in because you have parts that have yet to see it in themselves. Her fire highlights the places within you that are dampened and protected. You feel the places where she is dangerous to the parts of you you didn’t know you had until you went deeper into your truth.

Yeah. Your truth. What is real inside of that masculine heart of yours? Do you feel where parts of you have cordoned off the rage, the hurt, the fear of being seen in totality? There is much in the wounded male heart that has been buried in reaction to what lies in the recesses of our shadow. A collective and personal feeling of unworthiness with rumblings of other lives of suppression and dominance. Of being repressed and dominated. What would come out of your mouth if the gates were left open? This is the unknown world that sacred intimacy is guiding you into and it is a scary yet luminous journey.

She is the one I never knew I was looking for. She brings edges and mountains to a flatter world a part of me had created to keep thing the same. It is holding space for the deeper feelings of the parts of me that may not be all on board to this type of intimacy as they have been safely enjoying anonymity. She engages my leading edge while advocating to feel my trailing edge of truth in its realness. She calls for me to challenge her in her bigness as a challenge to my past care-taking. It is getting dirty and muddy when we have found ourselves at a dissonance to feel where we are truly in resonance. The end is always possible while the infinite is right at hand. This is a brave new world for me and for her.

I know my beloved Kalayna and I are just in our sacred infancy in some ways but we have been through much together. We have the blessed modeling of Raphael and Jelelle and yet we have our own challenges and uniqueness. I have much to feel and show up for in this continued deepening. As a man, there is a lot to trust and a lot to stand up for within myself. This can only be done by truly feeling the parts of us that hold resistance and passion both. This is the true passion ground of our sacred masculinity and heart-open sexuality. With Her, you and I will never be the same.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

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Loving And Healing Your Invulnerability: The Gateway To Your Sacred Humanity

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To a part of us, Love is scary as Hell. Our invulnerability, our protection from totally feeling what is churning inside of us, is the expression of that part. Or in-expression as the case may be. This feels especially true for men, yet women have their own version of it too. It can also come out in expressed rage, as there is something so very vulnerable underneath it…a deep feeling of hurt and rejection. Our outer defenses are both guarding something precious as well as preventing something precious at the very same time. It is Love seeking Itself inside of you.

What is scary is letting the guard down and exposing what has been hidden. It is the exposure of the hurt, the fear, the guilt, and the truth in all its edges and judgment. It is the fear of seeing something that feels “ugly”, which is only a judgement we carry in ourselves. It is the very real possibility that life will forever be changed and made unknown. The guard keeps the safe intact, while Hell itself reigns supreme inside the fortress walls.

There are aspects of us that have not seen the light of our own consciousness until we begin the deep work of inner healing. It is a journey into lands that are filled with creatures both of light and of dark. The shadow is a storage warehouse of sorts. An invisible doorway until we trip on the wire that is hooked up to it by our own experience. It holds all things unsightly and extremely sacred to us. All of our greatest power and potential resides in these lands for us to reclaim when we have decided the time is Now. Until then, the universe, in concert with our Higher Self, continues to send us what we need to continue this dance with Love, whether in resistance or unison.

As Gaia edges her way “forward” in her ascension and union with Love, we too experience the Light knocking at the door of our most guarded self. The guardian at the gates may feel an attack is brewing and will double down on protection by any means. Or it may just decide that it is done with the gig and look for help in the solace of your sacred human heart. We are key-holders, yet we must negotiate with our protector as we need their help in the reintegration of all that has been locked away.

Going IN, is ultimately the only way to go UP. Without fully seeing and feeling what is hidden will we ever truly feel what it means to be seen. To be altered and transmuted by Love. This is the ultimate invitation of sacred romance and intimacy. You can only go so far on your own as you need an other, in the deepest and scariest waters, to see what you couldn’t or weren’t willing to see or feel. Ascension is stillborn outside the gates of our shadow. Being vulnerable with your invulnerability is what takes you to the burning grounds of all that is not in your highest being.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Mediocre Manhood

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By Raphael Awen

Escaping mediocre manhood will require awareness of how you are showing up as man, what isn’t working for you, the humility to admit it and the choice to seek something more.

How each of us as men have become the man we are has so much to do with the patterns of manhood that we were shown. These patterns were ingrained into us going to the heart of our being.

The word ‘pattern’ is from the same original word for the words; father; papa and patriarch. Our father is literally our pattern, our ‘patron’ Saint, our admission into the ‘patriarchy’. Each of us as men is running a kind of emotional operating system that came to us via our fathers. Our father got it from his father, and so on and on.

These patterns also exist in us also through meta-soul aspects that we are connected to, from other lifetimes. These archetypal records are like music record albums that are then played on us as the record players, or to be more up to date, like mp3 files that we download and play, but are not actually expressions of our higher self, but rather energies that our higher self is drawing to our attention for resolve.

It is only as the contents of all this,…let’s call it our EOS (Emotional Operating System) become conscious and brought up into our awareness, that we can even begin to move out of mediocrity in our manhood.

This alone is a big step.

Many men have a weird codependent relationship between them as men whereby they agree not to speak any ‘negativity’ towards their fathers. What this really is, is an agreement to keep the patriarchy intact from generation to generation. Only as you refuse to participate in the insanity will you find a beginning ground to leave the insanity. This means you’re going to have get critical about dad and his pattern as it lives in you. You don’t need to be nasty about it. You don’t need to dwell here any longer than you do, but you can’t escape owning this arising awareness. Your critique will need to be honest enough and vocal enough to exit the insanity.

You don’t owe your dad a thing, and an emotionally healthy dad doesn’t expect a thing in return for his role and years as a father. Now, after this healthy completion of the childhood phase, dad and son can go on to forge a new relationship with the old one completing.

Only now, after this death and rebirth, can new patterns be explored and come to be a part of a new EOS.

Men want more. It’s in them at their very core. Exploring this more will be finding, feeling and healing the aspects of your EOS that no longer serve your most authentic version of yourself arising.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Conversation With My Spine: Day Two- The Turbulence Of Calibrating To Love

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In this exchange with my spine, I refer to my daemon, or soul protector/guardian. It is the 4D aspect of us that is connected to our other metasoul lives. They are a big part of the healing process in SoulFullheart that can also be linked to the bleed through many feel as the veil has been thinning and lifted. A connection with this aspect can assist in huge movements and clearings of the energies that are still stuck in other time dimensions. You can read more about them here.

M: Good morning, Spine. How are you feeling for talking some more? I had a great feeling about where this could all go for both of us.

S: Yes, I am. I felt some great place and energies we could ‘tap’ into together.

M: You just started where you left off.

S: Yeah. It is good to keep this thing a little loose around the edges, man. When a spine gets too stiff and rigid…well, look what happens.

M: Point taken. I can feel where a part of me has been a bit tense with all the changes going on for me personally and then you add in the cosmic theater and it gets to be one big alchemy party.

S: There is a lot going on for sure. There is a lot of rebalancing happening. The prior grid structure that you were linked up to via the spine is in major dissolution. It is dissolving. No longer able to maintain its former control hold. You have many metasoul lives that had been connected to the Paintrix and they are looking to you to lead them into a new world without it. It is a turbulent time for this awakening and that can show up in all kinds of physical (i.e. emotional) manifestations.

M: I feel the largess of that picture and can see why my soul protector got a bit overwhelmed. I see a dam that has held back all the realities of my soul and the cracks are opening up to holes in my felt consciousness. My daemon (soul protector) has been acting as the foreman on this operation and is sounding the alarm bells.  

S: Lol! That is a perfect analogy. I don’t mean to laugh in judgment. It just clearly demonstrates what it can be like for some. He needs to be relieved of the duty and the feeling of responsibility. Lots to navigate and the picture is not as severe as he may make it out to be. There is a lot of self-love around letting in these lives and how to be with them.  

M: I feel your compassion for him and what he has held. That is a whole new avenue to walk down with him day to day. Feeling it all in the moment as these lives begin to bleed into waking consciousness. This whole experience has really helped me to feel the wounded masculine energies that are held in the spine. The restructuring of the spinal code if you will.

S: Yes, most definitely. There is a whole lot happening at the quantum/galactic level that is beyond the consciousness of your knowing mind. What is important here is to feel what is happening with your heart and intuition. This moves WITH the current of Love and the old system was trying to work against it, but was really an actor FOR it all along. I think you can sense what I mean. There are actually no bad guys here. A grand story that is experiencing itself. The spinal restructuring is akin to seeing that there was another story undergirding this one all along and that creates a bit of a shock to the system.

M: This is getting out there, man. Whew! I want to see about bringing this closer to home….to the heart.

S: Yeah, totally. I can get locked into the mental picture sometimes as I too am in recalibration mode. You have much to feel with the part(s) of you that have been invested in the old way of being in the world. It is another personal awakening phase, but this is an awakening into something less tangible and more fluid. It is not getting to locked into “this or that”, but following the intuitive sacred heartmind and getting lost in the flow so that you can’t even begin to track mentally. This is presses against a control mechanism that is built-in for safety and protection. Keeping the gig going. You are being asked to realign the spine to the heart instead of the brain. 

M: That is a weird picture, but I get what you mean.  

S: I can sense that. The literal interpretation makes no biological sense. This is the new wild frontier partner and there is a new sheriff in town and his name is Lovie McLovin.

M: Seriously….I think it is time for you to get some rest. That was just awful, yet somehow funny.

S: You giggled. You can’t hide that. I am feeling a bit better apparently. Getting my goof on. That is a sign of realignment to the flow of being. Okay, let’s call it for today. I have enjoyed this. Not sure what we said but it felt good.

M: Yeah me too. Time to let this all integrate with a sandwich and a massage.

S: Now that just sound weird.

M: Oh, geez. Here we go….

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Conversation With My Spine: Day One- Creating A Relationship To Pain

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Flowing out of my last blog about my recent spinal pain issue, I have decided to share my journaling that I began with my spine. It is a tool we use in SoulFullHeart to create an energetic space between our authentic self and a part of us that holds different sources of energy that block our letting in of higher frequencies of Self and Love. In this case, my spine is acting as a conduit of my Higher Self to help me gain a greater perspective to the pain that has been with me for several weeks.  This in turn helps me to hold the different lower frequencies that are accessed in both this and other life wounding. It will be an ongoing conversation for as long as it is meant to last. *NOTE: (M) is for me, and (S) is for spine. 


M: Hello, spine. I wanted to start a dialogue with you and connect with you more intimately. Feel you as a part of me as well as a guide and teacher. Are you open to that?

S: Yes, of course. There is much dis-ease going on and I would love to help shed some light to help both of us feel some deeper meaning, not just solely relief. But in the moment that would be certainly welcome. Where shall we start?

M: Hmmm….great question. I thought maybe you could shed some light on what you feel is the cause of all this pain that feels unending to another part of me.

S: Well, that is one place to start. The feeling that this is going to last ad infinitum. It is understandable to feel that when it does appear that it just goes on and on without some measurable indication of relief. You and I have been around long enough to know that that isn’t true. It is a signal of a deeper wound that doesn’t trust in the process that is being offered to you. This comes from many lifetimes of not trusting the Divine and the journey you chose before time immemorial. Trusting to let go of what you learned in order to remember.

M: That last sentence had a reverberation in me. Thank you. The tension that exists in you feels related to that fear of letting go.

S: Yes. Indeed. So much love and goodness has entered your kingdom and a part of you has a hard time truly believing it is all real. It rubs against unworthiness and it can sabotage the inflow. Nothing like a shot of pain to keep you from fully feeling the Joy that is showering upon you.

M: That is especially true. Geez. I can feel how I have been what we call ‘fusing’ to the pain, where I just become it, not separate from it. It filters so much about what I, Gabriel, feel about what is happening. Talking about this with you helps to feel the distinction. A very powerful discernment.

S: That is exactly it! It is about YOUR power. To not let the power be in the hands of the pain. You can be WITH the pain and not OF the pain. Empowerment is the leading edge of the spine. Choosing to subvert the power to the pain itself makes you a victim to it and thus yourself for you created the pain in the first place! 

M: This is where it gets hard for a part of me to swallow, but I can feel how that is easier than accepting response-ability. Responding to the situation from a place that has a higher frequency of energy even in the throws of the pain. A process for sure. It takes the time it takes to get to a place of No More.

S: That is the activation of your Higher Self. Not in a way that looks to solve the problem but to respond to it in way that brings a larger picture of the emotional and spiritual landscape. You said “enough was enough” and you chose to journal. I am acting as a conduit of your Higher Self. What better way that through the spine!

M: Agreed! I didn’t feel much angst in you that I thought I would, but a lot of reverence and compassion for the situation.

S: A part of you may certainly hold that energy but if I am truly your spine I would want you to be in your most empowered state. So much has been assumed that reacting to a situation with an energy of dominating or fixing is what Spine is all about. It is not. It is about fully feeling what the most vulnerable place is within you to respond to. What is the fear that a part of you has around love and leadership? For this is also about leadership and stewardship. It is arising in you as the frequency of Gaia and SoulFullHeart continue to rise.

M: This is the part that also feels so true about this pain. An intuitive knowing that I am a part of this shift in a way that is yet totally unknown and unknowable to a part of me and causes a tension of doubt and uncertainty. I feel like there is a whole lot to discuss with you and that this could go in so many ways. Maybe best to call it a day for now and get back at it tomorrow.

S: Clever. ‘Back’ at it tomorrow. Very nice.

M: Not intended, but I will take credit. 🙂  Thank you for the illuminating conversation. I feel a lot of movement from this connection and I feel it is helping to integrate something in me.

S: That is the name of the game, my man! Let’s keep the flow going tomorrow. Lots to cover one vertebrae at a time.

M:  Hmmmm…spinal humor. Not sure about that one.

S: It’s okay. The other spines with get it. INside joke.

M: Oh, boy.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing The Patriarchy From Within

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Years ago, early in my healing process, I needed to take time away from family. I needed to feel myself outside the familial conditioning to really get a good feel for who I, Gabriel, really was. I needed to feel the ways in which I had been influenced to perceive myself and the world around me. This was especially true for my relationship to my father as he played a big part in my masculine conditioning and relationship to others, both male and female. He had many different effects on me that formed wounded aspects inside myself. I needed to hold and feel those parts of me as a new father template in order to relate differently to the world and others around me.

I remember as a boy my mother would tell me at times how much my father would remind her of his father, my grandfather. I remember feeling that in my own self as I became older, taking on so many physical and personal mannerisms. Taking on the family male legacy of anger and alcohol, the perception of women, and the internalizing of the patriarchal need for control and reason. As my parents divorced and my mother remarried, I took in another father figure that had just as much influence but in different ways. The Inner Father imprint was becoming embedded and it had its effect on my own sense of authenticity.  Who was I really when I was trying to listen to my own internalized father figure?

This part of us takes on a 3D patriarchal energy that comes from the more collective psychic wounding. It is one that has influenced my relationships with women and men. It has filtered my receptivity and openness to possibilities. My own inner feminine was a kept maiden, not feeling safe enough to express and emote. My inner child was suppressed to keep things in a serious and logical framework. Not much play in the world of the patriarch.

But in the unearthing and untangling of the inner father, you find the reasons for it all. There is no bad guy in the process of healing and integrating. Going into my own inner father wounds, I could feel the grander heart of the Masculine at large. The power of sovereignty and compassionate truth-telling. The desire to end the war within and be in collaborative balance with the feminine.  I could feel the the edges of my unworthiness and the real fear of surrendering to what needs to be reflected back at me as part of my growth and opening heart.

Through the process, my inner father takes a step to the side of me and becomes more of a brother, and then as the defenses soften, a younger, more boyish quality comes in and he begins to feel like a son.  I could feel my own biological father in more of his essence, encouraging me to continue on my healing journey and becoming like a guide to me along the way. It is a remaking of the past within the present moment where all things truly exist. A healing that has quantum effects between our hearts and souls and those of the collective father and son relationship.

The harder, less flexible side of me began to soften, be less defensive and more reflective. It has become less linear and more open to surrendering to the moment and letting the flow of life have its way while still holding personal will and desire in the mix.  When I do feel this energy arise I can feel what is underneath the frustration and need for control. Usually a deep wound of feeling powerless and overwhelmed in a world that feels like survival is the only reason to be alive. As I connect more with the Divine Father inside me. the more my own inner father can rest and let go of his Reign, which can feel very existential to them as the control is all they have ever known.

In the letting go, the suppressed feminine energies within can arise and begin to dance with the healing masculine and create a balanced energy that can penetrate while letting go of the outcome and the need for a particular result. It opens the heart to a more dynamic and authentic relationship with women in general and more specifically in a co-creative sacred union partnership. It shifts the collective patriarchal energetic structure and helps lead a new paradigm of leadership and stewardship of a New Earth and New Sacred Humanity.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The INpression Of Our Care-Givers: Feeling And Healing Our Inner Mother and Father

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by Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri

In the process of getting to “Know Thyself”, one actually finds the mirror you stare into splits into multiple lenses from which to truly see what makes you tick. You are many selves within the container of a more holistic integrated being. We live in the dimension of the “separate yet whole”. The minute you left Divine Source and popped out of the womb you landed in the field of “this and that” without totally being aware of it until you had enough time to be taught and to experience the depth of this perception of reality.

You landed in the arms of caregivers that you chose as a soul, to be reflectors of the world you landed in. They were the ones, or the one, that you were meant to learn from about yourself and life, for a particular phase of time until it was time to learn on your own. They are the single greatest imprint into our psyche and heart, next to community and society at large. The way they reacted or didn’t react to you, to themselves, and to the world established an emotive and mental ground inside of you that helped to form your own version of yourself.  Whether in rebellion against or in conforming to.  The relationship with and between each parent or caregiver created a pattern inside of you in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

Over time, this energetic relationship created a space inside of yourself that has informed many decisions in regards to so many aspects of your life.  It is an Inner Mother and Father that forms in your emotional body that carries so much data about your 3D Self and how it has found itself surviving and expressing in the world and in relationship. For women, it can express as a wounded and masculinized matriarch that is protecting the more still and sensitive Yin nature of her essence in order to survive in a still rather patriarchal world. For men, it is the expression of the controlling and aggressive patriarch or the suppression of the more vulnerable and tender parts of them.

Either way, it is a way to feel your own participation in playing out the wounded masculine picture of the world as it still largely is and has been. There is an entire lineage and legacy you carry within you, that doesn’t only begin with your birth family, as of course culture and country have influence too. Your parents learned from their parents and found their way however parts of them felt it was best for them and their own consciousness level. Choosing to feel yourself and how this lives within you by your own choice of whether or not to go into it and heal it, puts you in the seat of immense inner power to move beyond it and influence future generations to do the same.

This Inner Mother and Father can hold influence over many other aspects of your 3D Self, such as your Inner Teenager and Inner Child. They are our own versions of how we took in our caregivers. Beginning a relationship with them internally can lead to a vast new experience of ourselves that we never really knew we had, as we have been unconscious of it to the degree we needed to be in order to keep that relationship intact. If there is no external relationship to your parents, the internal still exists until it is felt as a separate part of you that can foster healing, integrating, and an unanchoring of the 3D Self into higher frequencies.  If there is still a external relationship, there may be a necessary phase of separation from them so that you can fully feel what it is that lies inside that is authentically you and what is the internal manifestation of them. Some parts of you may feel as if you are ‘abandoning’ your family/parents and that this is wrong and contemptible. Yet there is no absolute here or even a vow of ‘forever’ being out of contact with them. The space you take simply allows the truths of the relationship to arise and gives you what you need in order to feel yourself and your parts in who you have been and who you want to become.

Getting to know and feel your Inner Mother and Father will lead you to your own connection to your sovereignty of being that is no longer connected to those who ushered you into this 3D life. It will help to let go of the binds and grinds that have kept your 3D Self in the swirl of this deeply impressionable and sacred relationship. As you become a parent to your inner parents you gain a whole new perspective that integrates all the power and gifts they gave you and leave the rest behind on your growing journey into the lands of your healing heart and ascending soul. Plus, in the name of the exponential service of love, you get to become the new template, piece by piece and part by part, for how the new dance of the masculine and feminine gets to arise in this purging, healing, and shifting world.

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Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman will each write more specifically about the Inner Mother and Father as it relates to the specific genders and how it has informed and affected their personal healing process and relationships. 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Our Inner Teenager: The Heart And Soul Of Our 3D Self

 

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The Land of Confusion.  The volatile teenage heart. These are the years of many of our intense experiences with our fading childhood and impending entry into adulthood. These are the times that many of us can go back to and see a scene that our inner teenager lives in.  Those poignant moments that this part of us still lives in that shifted the direction of their life and has yet to fully process it all.  So many different social and familial pressures that left us in a state of tug of war…or just plain war. Those on the healing journey are on it to recover from these very times. Those very moments still burned into the lining of our heart. They are the heart and soul of our 3D Self.

Our inner teenager houses so much of our passion, desire, and dreamer.  Many chose to roll down the rebel road and set fire to whatever could be set fire to, looking for anything that was real in a very unreal world. Others found themselves playing by the rules, suppressing anything that would go against the direction of the greater wave of what was expected of them.  Then there were the in-betweens, never quite comfortable with either. This part of us is so prevalent in our lives.  Without a mature template to walk us through the valley of this very trying time we were left with an imprint that carries on to this day in the way we hold our own 3D health and maturity.

The inner teenager can be seen in our rebellion and our conformity.  It can be found in our relationships and our sexuality.  In the way we need to be by ourselves or the need to be with others.  They are in the closed door bedroom with headphones on, or in the late night party trying to see if they will be noticed by anyone “important” or “hot”. They may even be the default parent and is nowhere close to being like the “others”.  All of this is a part of their heart story that is so needing and wanting to be felt in the depths by someone who is able to deal with the gravity and levity of a teenager.

Going into the world of our inner teenager brings us closer the passion, imagination, and creativity we had to set aside for various reasons.  It is about feeling the loss of innocence that led us to so much serious. They are the bridge from our youth to our maturity.  They are truly seers of new worlds. Healing our inner teenager brings a new vision of life that has technicolor rad-ness and infinite vision.  It brings a joy and lightness that seeks to learn and have fun at the same time. So not like school!

My inner teenager wants to say, “It was never about what I wanted to be when I ‘grew up’, it was about what I was feeling about myself in the moment that mattered most. Having someone I respected feel it with me, not to fix me, just to feel me. I just wanted to live and experience life from place that I felt comfortable in my own skin and didn’t have to impress upon anyone to be accepted, for I hadn’t accepted myself. I wanted know what real masculinity was that wasn’t false bravado. I wanted to know what true love really was that wasn’t based in what I had or didn’t have. I just wanted to feel the courage to be me and not an image to hide behind.”

The gifts abound form this relationship within and we can find ourselves being the parent our inner teenager always wanted us to be, even as we are being challenging with a compassionate heart. The healed teenager integrates into our maturing heart and leads us to new vistas of brave new worlds they always wanted to visit.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Multi-Dimensional Man

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As I have been going through an exercise of connecting with my 3D, 4D, and 5D selves I began to realize that I have noticed women tending to call themselves “multidimensional” more then men.  I don’t know if this is because women tend to be more multidimensional or is it that men just haven’t considered their multidimensionality as being on par with women. I know that in my past I have had a part of me doubt that I have access to this “ability”.  That it seemed exclusive to women or some chosen men.

Yet when we view ourselves through these 3 lenses of 3D, 4D, and 5D we get a clear picture that we are all very much multidimensional (MD) and it is in our permission and desire to feel this in a very conscious and daily way that we can really let that in.  Men have generally seemed apt at staying very focused on one task. I guess we can really call that a masculine trait as women have it too.  So to hold this MD reality, it takes the ability to see and feel it all at once, or at least to some degree. This has always seemed like an attribute of the feminine.  So maybe it is in our connection to our more feminine side that men can access more of the permission and potential of claiming our MD gifts.

Who is the multidimensional man? What are his needs, motivations, and gifts? This feels like an unknown yet I think there are some very common themes that may run across many experiences.  I can tap into my own MD selves and see if they resonate within the collective.

My 3D Self says, “I want to be seen as sexy to women.  I want to be perceived as a good man, a fair man.  I need to be valued and accepted by others.  Following the “rules” of society will reward me with all the gifts that it has promised to offer. I want to feel secure and comfortable and have all the pleasures of the physical reality. I have a hard time speaking my truth as it can upend everything I have put in place and worked so hard to protect.  I want to be right most of the time.  It is hard for me to be “wrong”.  If I am wrong I am bad. I want to know all the facts of a topic to make informed and wise choices as to what is true and what is not.”

My 4D Self says, “I do not want to be a part of the system anymore! I do not believe that it is in my best interest OR the interest of others. I see how I constructed so much around me that was not based in my ultimate truth.  I compromised something inside myself to fit into a mold that I felt like I needed to out of duty and obligation.  I feel a greater purpose and passion that is not being expressed because of feeling stuck in a world that I don’t feel resonate with! I have a lot to say and it wants to blow shit up! Yet I also want to just go away into the woods and live in peace.  I sense a greater consciousness that exists that I am a part of yet still feel very separate from at times.  I feel in between worlds and I can’t seem to find the bridge.  I am beginning to see that I have the power to change it all but it is so hard to focus with all that is going on around me.  I keep trying to find love outside me and it is just not working.”

My 5D Self says, “I AM the power.  I AM the change. I AM the love that comes in from the heavens and infuses the heart with desire to go IN. To heal all the parts within that feel scared, angry, and alone. I create the safe container to be vulnerable and withstand the fire of transformation and healing.  I  AM the bridge and the other side.  The place where self-love comes first. To be empowered with worth and courage to continue to heal and share the open heart with another in sacred union romance.  I AM the dreamer and visionary of greatness and beauty.  I AM the King of my Kingdom and the seeder of this Divinity into the hearts and souls of others on the way UP.  I am the receiver of Higher Dimensional consciousness and embody and integrate it into the human vessel.  I AM the constructor and builder of worlds in co-mingled dance with the divine feminine inside and out.  I AM hot star stuff!”

With this felt reality, I can begin to feel myself in a whole new way. I can feel where I need to go in and feel what needs to be felt in order to let in more love through my healing heart.  I find the courage to make the next steps, to say the words that need to be said, and feel what it is that I truly AM and desire to be.  I am not a victim to my circumstances and I invite the mirrors I need to keep going and growing. I take my experience and offer back to others that are feeling the same.  I am a beacon, a leader, a lover, and a King to a Queen. I am a fisher of men…..multi-dimensional men.

To feel more into what SoulFullHeart can offer your awakening or healing multidimensionality, you can visit our website, join in group calls, and watch upcoming live stream events on Facebook and YouTube.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

I Want To Shake Men

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By Raphael Awen

I want to shake men.

I want to yell in their face ‘Why are you here!?’ and ‘What in the hell is it that you want!?’… even if I piss a few men off in the process.

I want to yet again shake and awaken myself.

I don’t want your or my settled niceness. I don’t want your or my spiritual adeptness at the cost of our passion. I don’t want your adaptation. I want to see and feel your rawness….because I so want to see and feel more of my own.

As a man, there is a way that you represent all men, and even ARE all men. When you settle, we all settle. When you choose not to feel, you set a far reaching agenda for all men.

There is a also a way that you are surrounded with every ounce of love and resource that exists…. And to significant degree, you are immune to all of it, because you are afraid.

You are afraid of your own truth. You are afraid of what you really want. You are afraid of your own passion. You are afraid of none other than yourself and the journey called your life.

It’s not necessarily true for all of you, but it is true for a part of you. And until you get in touch with this afraid part of you, you have not even entered your own kingdom, let alone made any claim over it. Until you enter your own sovereign kingdom in this way, you are on the edge of amounting to little more than a bad example, which in the universe’s economy is still considered a lot, but is it enough for you?

Everything in your power, but yet nothing in your realization…that is, to write home about, the home that you came from.

I’m surprised a bit at the edge in my words today. They are directed at myself as much as they are shared with others. I want to advocate for my truth, in my own kingdom, the land of my own sovereignty, and be matched by other kings of heart. This is finding a new agenda for manhood. This is finding out why and what our gender polarity is all about and our relationship to the opposite gender.

It begins with owning all that’s going on inside for you, as best you can feel it and describe it, and then to find the boy inside and relieve this boy who yet only knows hiding all he feels. There is very serious work to do. There is getting real with why you are here and what you really want. To not see the cost side of this ledger only means you are not here yet. If life as you currently know it is structured around disconnect and hiding, then any forward movement inward will have a one to one correlation with a necessary deconstructive movement outward, that you are going to have to begin self-lovingly negotiating, as soon as you are ready.

This is the heart passion that lives in painted moving swirls on the walls inside of my truth, and the fire colours that colour the underside of the clouds that float through my skies. This is my own parallel dimension where I must be while we as men sort out our next going on place together. BUT, if you don’t want your shit, I don’t want you. I can’t really want you until you want you. Not anymore.

I used to need men to validate my own subconscious need to hide. Then I got really curious to the point of being possessed about my own need to hide. I entered the domain of my own hiding and to this day, I still am. I’m reporting from my own cave, now transmuting into an infinite portal to so much more than I can’t even describe. Truth be told, if I hadn’t felt into my own fears heretofore, I simply wouldn’t have the balls to go any further in what is on the docket now.

But I really don’t want to do this and be this alone, because I don’t have to. I am called to lead and I feel more and more resolved around leading. The payoff for me in serving other men to awaken to their own true power is getting to be around other infinitely powerful men. Truth is, as I said, I’m going to need it and I’m going to need them if what I’m seeing in front of me concerning my own yet still to be inhabited power is real.

So my love of you is unconditional, but my want of you is very conditional. I’m asking for more of you because I’m looking for more of me. I can love you from a distance, and even weep a broken heart for you from a distance, but to enter sacred domain together, I need you and I to come together on mutually awakening terms, awakening and attuning to what it is that you really want.

Now, if you are ready for it, there is a bus leaving for the destination of more of what you really want. You may not like this bus, but you need to find one you do like, or drive your own, because all men, and even all species are waiting for you to choose the destination of your more.

No pressure, and all that! 🙂

I love you and I need you and I want you!

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com

We are currently offering a free intro session (to men and women) for those considering entering regular session space with us. If you are interested, let us know and we’ll send you some things we’ll ask you to read and a few questions to respond to, to further help you see if this is or isn’t what is calling you. More details on that are here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

We also have another group call around Sacred Union that Jelelle Awen and I will be leading this coming Saturday and these always are amazing to be a part of. We ask for a minimum donation of 11 USD over paypal, and then we send you the link to join in over Zoom Web Meetings. The details are here:https://www.facebook.com/events/254241058395276/ and we would so love to have you join us.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.