By Raphael Awen
Wanting to know joy without sorrow is natural, but it is also impossible. Joy gets its definition from sorrow, and without sorrow, joy has no meaning or differentiation.
This is the world of duality that we chose to create and enter, and to grow inside of.
Abundance is only amazing in the face of lack. Without the comparative difference, it all simply gets normalized into a bored state of numbness, regardless of how good or bad the point on the continuum is.
At points in our lives, we come to deeply want to know the other side, the one we worked hard to protect and insulate ourselves from. The over-familiarity with one polarity seems to drain the reverence for the goodness of what one has, and we long for an injection of childlike wow and discovery to come back into our experience.
We call this awakening, and we compare it to the sleep of numbness of the over saturation of familiarity. We see it being about new values and new relationships with others who feel similar. We see it as better, and so we take steps towards it.
Many would argue against this whole perceived world of duality is the root of our suffering, tossed about in a world of comparing and grading between good, better, and best. We must transcend this tyranny into acceptance of a world without desire and more surrender to being, is the new mantra. Call it a nondual awakening….where you are in bliss but you don’t rate it as such or attach to it somehow, even though you sought after it through rating and attachment. Here again, even the term nonduality must rely on the definition of duality to find meaning, and we find ourselves back at square one.
I am a being who has had an undeniable awakening into the world of duality. I am dual enlightened, dual awakened. I dream of rest from the focus of my duality, and as I do, I can also feel an essence of my being that is nondual awakened. I am already both. My consciousness is going through phases of awareness of both in a larger awakening beyond dual or nondual.
That awakening has something to do with being infinite love as the only resource at source of the all. I already AM this in the fullest sense possible. I am not growing or learning to become this. Essence cannot be added to or taken away from. My experience is all about growing and learning however, as there is universes of discovery awaiting me in an infinite love unfolding reality.
I Am the perfect out improving on perfection. I already have it all even as I set out in search of it. The having and the searching are part of the same. Both are true, and one cannot be downgraded for too long, or we come to futility, our dual enlightenment again showing us the way back to the meaning of our nonduality.
We forgot so that we could be re-membered. We fell so that we could get back up. We surrendered so we could come to true power. We said yes to death so we could truly come to know life.
As I write these words, seeking guidance from my own inner teacher, I am aware of how philosophical these words are, and a part of me asks, ‘so how do I apply all this right now to where I live and feel?’ I detect an angst, a hesitation and a tiredness in its voice.
I pause to be with and feel this question, opening my heart, wanting to make sure that another part of me isn’t coming off tinny or like an answer man.
What comes in response is: ‘My truth is that you baptize all of your life, as you currently know it, including the full range of your experience, even the present angst and frustration as being part of the inescapable holiness and wholeness that you are. You are being invited to live into the feeling of this reality more and more, moment by moment and see where that leads you. There isn’t a fixed outcome, a ‘getting it’, an answer that opens out all the reward, there is you feeling what you want and why, reaching for what you want as you want it, and reporting back to self and other what you are finding and feeling as you do. There is no greater joy or greater service. This is you embodying you; the divine out divining.’
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.