The Arising Journey Of Opening Your Heart

by Kalayna Colibri


When your heart first starts to open, you can feel the edges. You can feel the aperture widening, letting more light out and in, moving love to and fro in waves and perhaps in stops and starts. You can feel the emotions that come up as part of this sacred process, the protests inside from parts of you that may have fears about your heart opening and the ride this will take them on. You will begin to FEEL your parts, maybe for the first time, and all of the storms they’ve weathered in the name of ‘love’ as they’ve ‘known’ it to be or thought it to be, or assumed it to be based on their conditioning and experience. They may be unsure that love can be clean, can be pure, can be something that keeps flowing without end.

As your heart opens more, you feel the healing that allows it to do so. You feel a celebration of the work you’ve done to get here, though it may also feel as if you have pretty far to go, especially as more oil is brought up from parts of you to be felt deeper still. You begin to trust this process more and that this flushing out is important for you and your life yet also for the world too. Your higher/Cosmic heart, your Christ Consciousness starts to become activated in this way, though it may still remain somewhat out of your reach, especially as reactions bubble up not only in your heart but in your very soul. The sacredness of this can be felt, though maybe not strongly just yet, for so much of this pain you’re feeling through can keep the programming of ‘mess is NOT sacred’ alive thriving within your being, still. This is the hardest part in a way, because the mess is what you need and on some level you surrender to that, though consciously you feel as if your world is turning upside down and you’re questioning so much about who you’ve been so far in this life and how you’ve related to everything and everyone in it. This is your emotional awakening phase, even though spiritually you may have awakened long ago. The bridge between these two strata of being can start to be made conscious, yet the lines seem stark in contrast because you are having to FEEL so much in YOU that may have long been buried and even covered over BY the spiritual…

Then the aperture of your heart widens still more… you begin to notice that your ‘messes’ created by parts of you that are needing them in order to be felt more fully and deeply, make way for more joy and that the joy seems to last longer and longer before more oil comes up to be felt and moved through, if not healed. The sacredness in every millimeter of process is becoming more obvious to you and allowing yourself to be IN process feels like the best sort of ‘me’ time you can give yourself the space to have. You feel celebrations as your movements inside of you begin to shift the world outside of you. You draw relationships that are more aligned with who you are and are becoming, though maybe these relationships don’t feel totally like ‘soul family’ just yet… or maybe they do and you’re drawn to go in deeper with them in conscious community or at least sacred bonds. They’re likely doing the same work you’re doing, feeling parts of themselves, healing deeply, taking the time and space needed in order to breathe, be, become, and above all, feel, heal and grow. You could also be drawing potential romantic partners along the way, with more heart and soul resonance with you than you’ve experienced thus far.

These new relationships are the end to your ‘lone wolf’ phase, though you still need and want the time for YOU and your parts and soul aspects that have now become so beloved to you and you to them. As you say ‘yes’ to community and intimate bonds with others, you feel this begin to widen your heart even more, sometimes to the point where it feels about to burst with colour and light and LOVE. You feel oil come up still, yet this time it feels different, because you’re noticing it more consciously, being with it sooner, and you have these relationships around you with so much powerful love transaction between you that their reflections of you go into you and really help you see where to go next inside of you at a manageable rate and pace that before this time, may have been overwhelming in moments. Sometimes the hardest processes are actually about letting more love in from and with others in this space you’re in now. You’re connecting with yourself, with guides, with your beloveds regularly and your spirituality integrates more and more with your daily life, lighting you up with soul purpose and soul gifts that have come alive for you in a new way. This leads you to more oneness experiences, that you now get to feel through a greater sense too of Conscious Duality and why we need both the dual and non-dual as our awakenings open out and our growth keeps moving forward. Ascension becomes not a struggle, but an embraced and beloved process too, intertwined with all of this, this entire process and all you ARE.

The journey never ends from here, though it always deepens as new phases of BEing open up and move you through challenges. You have become the sacred human you’ve always wanted to become, somewhere inside of you. And you wouldn’t trade this journey for the world, for it has become so YOURS to claim and you do so with a love flow in your heart that couldn’t have come to you before. Feeling and claiming your sacred YOU space brings you back to you, your true home and the one place you can ever fully belong. The one place where it ALL can heal, and where your former sense of separation and abandonment wounds can be transformed, transmuted, healed. Welcome home…. ❤


Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

Owning Your Truth And The Changes That Brings


By Raphael Awen

Try as we may, none of us can live long on someone else’s truth.

As the events of our lives unfold, the universe calls us to claim our own truth, to stand in that truth, and to accept and take responsibility for the consequences that come with holding and living out that truth.

Vulnerably and heart open, we can now say, ‘this I believe with all my heart’, or ‘this is what feels the MOST true to me and this is what feels the most true FOR me’, while we acknowledge that we could be ‘wrong’ or that we might change our truth on any subject at any time in the future. We are simply saying ‘This is near-as-I-can-tell for me, for now’.

I began my adult life holding to an ‘absolute truth’ picture. ‘My truth’, (though I wouldn’t have called it that then), was that ‘thee truth’ was all that mattered, and anything other was the evil of ‘relative truth’ or truth without an anchor in reality.

For many, this is a necessary phase of consciousness evolution. We begin by seeing the world as outside-of-us reality that is in need of concrete, correct and safe definition. We need the world, and some form of ‘God’, and ‘God’s truth’ to be bigger than us, so we can then safely and humbly surrender to this ‘God’ (that we are actually crafting in our own image, but can’t yet see that and take responsibility for that).

As a young man, I chose this absolute truth picture as my truth and lived into it deeply, I inevitably came to the place where my truth was forced to evolve. I came to know in my own truth that ‘God’ had no insecure emotional need to have ‘subjects’ in obedience and compliance to ‘himself’. This then led to call into question one belief after another that could no longer be contained in my absolute truth picture. My entire social world that was built upon this same foundation crumbled as I shared my truth which in turn brought me to entire new vistas of life.

In this way, life takes us to the heart of our chosen beliefs and faces us with a truth telling mirror and invites us to feel what we believe and why we believe what we do. We see in this mirror a reflection of our actual maturity level and next places that life and love is wanting to take us. We come to feel and see that underlying every single belief we hold dear is a reflection of what’s true in our emotional body. Then we see this truth reflected out perfectly in our relationship playouts as life then gives us the opportunity to courageously own our emerging truth and live into the changes this brings.

Beliefs are about a ‘contest’ of 2 or more opposing ideas; a ‘dual’ if you will, based in the ‘duality’ of more than one possibility. While our highest upstream soul reality is a ‘non-dual’ one, where there is only oneness and no need or basis for any duals and contests, we chose to enter this world and expression of duality for a profound reason. My truth is that all duality eventually leads us back to complete and total oneness. However the path to this naturally maturing oneness is through discovering and claiming our individual truths and taking the paths that our truth presents us with. Now, we come to the very enlarged place where we realize that all is love, that every difference is contained in love, and this enlarged place is somehow so very much more than even the oneness place we began this journey from.

What is your truth? What do you feel about life, and love and the universe that isn’t any kind of a convenient copy and paste of other people’s beliefs, or perspectives on life? Are there things you deeply believe, but feel to keep to yourself in a given relationship or situation? What would no longer hiding your truth self-lovingly look like?

This then brings the question too of ‘What opposing beliefs do parts of yourself hold inside of you?’ Can you feel each one of these parts of you and their reason for holding their truth as they do? What would ending this civil war inside look and feel like going forward?

How would your life change if you vulnerably ‘owned’ your truth and accepted the consequences and changes that brought to your life?

Your truth is wanting to move you into new places and relationships to life in many profound ways.

The way, the truth and the life is contained in you.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter:

Going Through Death And Rebirth During This Great Shift

By Jelelle Awen

Phoenix - 1

As Gaia ascends and raises the vibrational frequency of Her grids from 3D to transitional 4D and into 5D and higher, we are invited to ‘come along’ with Her during this Great Shift. Our capacity is LIT up at our most leading edges of BEing and the seed of our sacred human is watered by PURE love and light waves. At this leading edge of BEing, we have the potential to respond to these frequencies from Gaia with open hearts, minds, and souls. This embracement guides us into unknown and Infinite Possibilities of access to extrasensory perceptions and expressions of our ‘super human’ selves…becoming like the super heroes that we watch in movies.
Yet, the Great Shift is a death and rebirth process and is not meant to be smooth and easy. To bring in the NEW, the old must be let go of. The ‘space’ taken up by the current needs to be vacated to allow the NEW to arise. There are labor pains that PUSH OUT the birthing of NEW. For Gaia, there is the often tumultuous adjustment of raising Her frequency WHILE being occupied by seven billion humans, who are all in their own varying degrees of awakening. She receives support for this conversion through many Star BEings who seem to live underground and also stay in Her orbit, waiting to assist when needed. Ethereal BEings, such as angels and archangels, are flooding Her with light and support too.
It feels like the expressions of extreme weather patterns, global warming, ice caps melting…these manifestations actually represent the Great Shift out of 3D disconnected and polluting and abusive relationship to Gaia. There is a way that this is an environmental collapse, yet one that doesn’t have to lead to mass chaos and collapse of all our current industrial systems at one time. As more souls awaken, their relationship with Gaia changes to more consciousness, love, respect, and mutual reverence. These tones from us allow collaborative solutions to come forward to respond to the energy resource and environmental issues in 3D.
Again, Star BEings are ready with many very technologically advanced solutions to our energy woes, many that seem to be available in the Now for us to use immediately once collective consciousness is more ready for them and to embrace Star BEings in their everyday world. Star BEings have already intervened MANY times in our modern era to prevent nuclear war, mass killings by fear-based groups (called Cabal, Illuminati, the Elite, etc.). An aspect of the current transition is the public disclosure of this group AND of the collaboration with benevolent Star BEings to move this group out of power. You can learn more about this disclosure process through David Wilcock, who provides MUCH evidence and information from inside sources around it. Learning more about this disclosure process as it relates to 3D life can help give a sense of how this all might continue to unfold.
You are probably feeling a parallel process of transition as Gaia’s. Even as you can perhaps see, taste, and feel in moments what your NEW higher vibrational life IS, you are still in transition to BEing this more. This, again, is not an easy changeover with much more ‘ash in the air’ than confetti. Your world has been connected into the 3D matrix and conditioning of your culture, of your birth family, of your friends, of your schools, of your jobs. Your body’s every cell holds the cellular memory of 3D living and your DNA vibrates to this frequency as well for most of your life. There is MUCH toxicity taken in through polluted water, chemicals in food, fear-based energies dominant in so many people.
Similar to Gaia you are ‘switched on’ when your ‘time has come.’ Your soul awakens in a very dramatic way with a one-time surge of Kundalini or Nondual or Oneness energies OR in a gradual, walking out experiences over time. Your soul and Higher Self energies flood your inner space, bringing new desires to learn and grow, to lift the veils, and to shed the ‘skin’ and ‘suit’ of 3D life that your 3D self has HAD to create in order to survive incarnation here. Some areas of your life fit this soul frequency right away and others are more difficult to transition.
This changeover from 3D to 4D transitional and higher can have ups and downs, ebbs and flows for you. There are relationships that you discover are more about your 3D self or personas, masks, or ego (what we call ‘parts’ in SoulFullHeart) that are most prevalent. You feel then an ache to just ‘be yourself’ more in relationships and if others around you are not awakening and shifting too, it becomes an intense and often painful ground of letting go, taking space, and completing WHILE love remains in your heart for them.
At some point in the process, settling and shrinking your frequency to fit in with others, conform to 3D expectations or reality…it just isn’t possible anymore. The previous 3D life runs out of ground and what you could formerly ‘tolerate’, you no longer can anymore. Even your 3D self is ‘done’ with it. This doneness allows ALL the areas of your life to more reflect your soul self. In SoulFullHeart, we see the seven key areas of life that are meant to be in balance of vibrational expression as: emotional, spiritual, mental, social, physical, financial, and environmental. We provide support through private sessions to connect with aspects of yourself, usually starting with your Inner Protector, so that negotiation can happen allowing for more change and transition into the life that you are really wanting. Conscious negotiation with the parts of you that are resistant and afraid to embrace change in ALL areas of your life opens up the possibilities that it can happen, and at a much faster rate as well. This writing describes the 3D, 4D, and 5D selves and their expression and relationship to each of these areas, plus journaling questions for you to feel into related to each area:
The parallels to Gaia’s process of ascension and your own may provide illumination for you to gain a new context around what is happening to you AND in the world. Gaia will be ‘done’ with 3D reality too and maybe already is with those souls who still need to experience it going into other timelines on other planets. There are times where the current world can seem a ‘mess’ and IS one in some ways. Yet, out of that mess comes the NEW. Out of your experience at times of emotional chaos and mess can you feel on the other side of it a clearing inside for the NEW. Going into the chaos inside, holding space for the death and rebirth, connecting with the parts of you that resist feeling it, and understanding WHY it exists, allows it to move. Gaia and EACH one of us is being held with SO MUCH love to undergo this VERY brave conversion and birthing process. The support is there from so many sources and can be found by going within, becoming open then to drawing what you most need to continue this LIFE altering, death and rebirth shift into the NEW.


 Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at


The Exploration Into Conscious Duality And The NEW Sacred Human

By Jelelle Awen


Waves of PURE love are washing down on us right now from Divine Source, from the closest degrees of split off from the Divine, taking the form of angels and spirit guides and star being selves. All of these forms are a reflection and aspect of YOU, embracing them as such WHILE having a relationship with them is ‘conscious duality.’ When the frequencies of Archangel Metatron come through I can feel him as a separate energy from me, a distinctive frequency that is not like mine. Yet, also, I can feel that he IS me, he IS an aspect of me, and his energy IS me too. Both are true in the same moment. This is conscious duality as it invites us not to be fused to the dualistic experience and the illusion of separation WHILE it invites us to be in relationship WITH other..

The mind cannot understand conscious duality; only the healing heart and remembering soul can EMBODY it more and more as the ties to a 3D conditioned life are let go and the soul consciousness floods your Being more and more. Duality has been made bad in spirituality, yet it has been a sacred and Divinely guided experiment that we all chose to engage with. It has taken us as a species in some very interesting and growthful directions, experiences, and expressions. The dance between light and dark; masculine and feminine; love and fear….the contrasts and edges bring up such interesting angles in our mirrors for us to SEE and experience ourselves that couldn’t any other way.

Unconscious duality has expressed itself mostly in clashes that lead to wars, violence, greed, sexism, poverty, and so many other things that we all know and feel with sadness in our hearts. Even THIS unconscious duality in expression has been an important phase in our evolution, necessary in our growth, necessary in our transmutation into sacred humanity. It is from this ground of so much fear and pain that the new buds of our sacred humanity are born and rise. The ground has been fertilized by all of our experiences, our trials and tribulations, our struggles and challenges. And also it has been fertilized by our romances, our emotions and our joys, our desires and our successes. And, above all, by the love that we ARE.

Moving out of unconscious duality into conscious duality has been a collective awakening….some souls responding more deeply and consciously than others. Yet, it is a collective movement that we can call ‘ascension’. Gaia herself as a planetary consciousness is choosing to move into this new ground and inviting us to come with her. Conscious duality invites us into relationship with other in a ground for which ALL are respected and loved, their sovereignty seen and embraced. This still leaves room for differences, for the edges that make life interesting when they touch and rub. Yet nonduality and the frequencies of no-thing-ness, All That Is, Infinite Love and Stillness….these frequencies HOLD the exploration of these conscious and loving relationships. These frequencies create a sense of reverence, non-attachment, appreciation, gratitude, and unity.

This is new, this conscious duality exploration, and it is about holding the exploration not with answers but with questions and desires for how it could be. My star being selves and family don’t KNOW what conscious duality actually is as it something COMPLETELY NEW for them and for us. It is a merging of their consciousness of one mind, androgyny, merged experience with our consciousness of separate mind consciousness, feminine and masculine expression. The result of this merging is what those of us who are called to be wayshowers have experienced in more and more moments in our own lives.

I am very excited about conscious duality, it feels like a huge gift to us from Divine Source. It acknowledges our humanity and its beauty, especially the goodnesses of the duality dance and even the goodnesses of the denser frequency experience that Gaia offers us. The star beings seem to be very excited about conscious duality too because THEY get to grow and learn from it. They want to be in equality with us, to learn from us, to receive the best from us and us from them. It is not about them being better (as SO many channelers seem to offer and come from) but rather about us claiming and embodying our sacred humanity WITH them. With unhealed unworthiness and congested ego, it can be difficult to let in how star beings and even archangels desire this equality.

Claiming our sacred humanity and conscious duality grows from within each of us. As we go within and re-connect, re-align, remember, re-union with aspects of our soul consciousness, then so we embody more and more a merged consciousness of individual self with our higher self and star being self frequencies. Going within and inviting in these aspects while healing the aspects that are in pain and in struggle and in subconscious shadow. We offer a path for navigating this ground WITH you through our SoulFullHeart way of life path and process.

This is SUCH an exciting phase of the human experiment and we CHOSE to be here, you and I, together to explore this NEW ground of consciousness evolution. It can be messy, it can be sticky, it can be and IS hard….and yet, we are birthing something BRAND NEW and always, the challenges of doing this are SO WORTH IT for what is produced from it. In very simple terms, we are birthing LOVE in human expression from the ground of what we have learned and grown into. ALL that we have experienced is greatly honored, none of it made bad or wrong, just honored and watered as Divine Source beams at us with more and more waves of love.

Jelelle Awen is a writer and co-creator/teacher/group facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about sessions with her, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more

God 2.0

By Raphael Awen


Why settle for anything less than bliss?

Now we all experience so much less than bliss to varying degrees from one individual to another, from one moment to another…but why settle for it?

You, in your essence, are so much more than what you’ve talked yourself into settling for.

Our essence and our source is pure bliss.  Bliss simply means joy and happiness on a scale that you can hardly stand. Many people equate the afterlife with bliss. But why don’t we equate the present life with bliss?

A a big reason, and it may be the biggest reason, that we deflect bliss from our experience is that we fear non-existence, or better said, we fear the non-experience aspect of the pure bliss state. That probably feels strange at first glance to consider, but if you feel into it, I think you will agree.

We were born out of pure unadulterated bliss. In pure bliss, there is no experiencer to notice, to measure, to desire. Bliss just is bliss. In and of itself, and in its earliest origin, bliss had very limited, if any, experience outside of bliss. Bliss itself, by its very nature came to want to expand its reality base. In others words, bliss grew dissatisfied or bored with itself and it grew lonely. It tired of its ‘oneliness’

Bliss then went on to authorize (it ‘authored’) its first so called ‘other,’ and then decided that it was clearly onto something. You and I, are authorized otherizations of this pure bliss that once was only one, who chose to ‘m-other’ us into a nature of being pure bliss on one hand (birthed from pure bliss) AND on the other hand being pure experience. One became two.

In a very real way, you and I ARE ‘God 2.0’. ‘God 1.0, was the pure bliss, but without experience. God 2.0 is the bliss combined with the ability to experience the bliss.

I know this sounds like pure sacrilege to our powers-that-were conditioned minds. True sacrilege, however, the demeaning of the sacred, is actually declaring the creation to be something less than the creator intend and achieved.

Bliss combined with an experiencer inside of one individuated being, are a level of reality so stunningly high on the charts of reality that we, in our state of normal waking consciousness, simply leave this on file with our higher selves, just off our radar. In our doing orientation to life, we simply don’t know what to do with it. When we feel into our being state however, these deeper realities are right there to feel and be remembered back into.

Now, we can begin to feel this fear of losing our full dynamic of being bliss and experience combined. Like a past life karmic fear playout, we all fear in our deepest subconscious the fear of losing our license, if you will, as separate beings, who can both be as well have experience of bliss. This then leaves us in a deep push-pull relationship to bliss. Bliss is so magical, but it’s true magic is only magic if it can be experienced, or given away. Here now, we begin to feel the depths of the loneliness and boredom of God 1.0. This vastness of feeling, and actually feeling this feeling, is what authorizes us into our deepening God 2.0 versions of ourselves.

This is the key that opens the door back into this awareness – simply feeling. Feeling is the most creative thing about us. Feeling ourselves to be less than we are is what has created our entrenched lived in reality. We must have needed this lesser-than reality in collective consciousness or we wouldn’t have created it. We may look like bumbling idiots at times, but the opposite is true. We give ourselves the experience of being stumbling idiots  in our infinite intelligence as a propulsion generator to aid us in finding our way back to our full essence. Make no mistake, we are not settling for anything less. It’s written into our very DNA.

Bliss is. Bliss is what we born out of. Bliss is what intended us, as God 2.0 beings, to evolve consciousness from bliss alone to bliss in community, to bliss in unfolding experience.

That leaves us in the God-class. That’s a whole heap to let in isn’t it? And it makes total sense to me. I always knew that God would only give us everything it was and is, with nothing held back.

And God did all that on the bet that you and I would eventually, and when the time was fully come, do nothing short of the very same – giving all that we are in our creative essence.

I want more of THAT!

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit for more information and inspiration.


Holding The Mind And The Self With Love And Reverance


By Raphael Awen

For many, the traditional idea of achieving a quietened mind state in order to meditate is an all-too-tall order. The idea that you need to achieve near total quietness of your mind in order to experience ‘non-experience’ sounds really cool to some who identify with that kind of attainment, and may even well be real enough for those who have gone there, but I’d like to offer you another way.

I’d like to offer you a way that works for me that involves a ton less effort and self-discipline (and what for many has devolved into self-punishment).

Let me back up for a moment though and speak to what I feel is at root of the ‘quiet the mind’ approach to meditation. Essentially, it is this idea that the mind is bad. But It’s more than an idea. It’s the feelings within the idea that give it power over us. It leaves us focused on achieving a mastery over a wayward part of us through effort, control and ultimately domination. Thankfully, we are collectively and personally coming to the end of the age of ‘domination over self’ kind of pictures, which aren’t kind at all.

With this firmly entrenched feeling-based reality that the self is bad, we are left in a desperate gasping for the return of the breath of our own goodness. We will stop at nothing to somehow reconnect with our own deep worth in self-love. The human being I believe was born of worth, functions on worth, and exists in worth. Our journey in being human is about coming to felt (feeling based) terms with this worth inside of our own being. Worth is meant to be felt and experienced. Without a feeling coloured experience of our worth, that worth is of no value to us.

So then, what we have perceived as the mind´s resistance to meditation is actually the mind’s resistance to being labeled as bad, and being outside of our core goodness somehow. Of course our mind isn’t going to put up with being crapped on like that.

So how then did we get the picture that opposing some aspect of ourselves would yield a deeply valuable and maintainable connection with ourselves? I’ll tell you (in my own ‘near as I can tell’ way) where we got that picture. We got it from the ocean that we’ve collectively been swimming in up till now, that the self is renegade to essential goodness. Good news for us, it turns out that what the self is actually renegade to is instead this very idea (along with all the deeply held associated feelings) that the self is bad.

So if the self isn’t bad, as we’ve been deeply and subconsciously programmed to see it and feel it as…., then what? ‘Then what’ is that the self is already good, and you and I aren’t sentenced to any self improvement picture, but the only kind of legit improvement that remains is about now seeing ourselves as utterly un-improvable.

How cool is that? It leaves you with something to improve upon, while at the same time with the impossibility of that.

Do you feel yourself at this moment beginning to surrender into a mind and heart expanded place? Your mind is plenty busy with the feeling and the what-ifs of all this that I´m offering you, and your heart of self love is beginning to open. Your feeling some relief from the sub-conscious self punishment picture that plays on the screen of your heart. I’m juicing you with the overflow from my own heart as I’ve had a head start in bathing myself in this new reality.

The picture above is one of those ‘pictures within pictures’ called ´stereoscopic´ pictures. See for a moment how long it takes your eyes to see the picture within this picture.

I offer the analogy of the stereoscopic pictures as a way to feel into a new vision of reality that is emerging for us collectively and that is available to you personally to tie into. There is a picture of reality that is forming within your current picture of reality. It isn’t the one you’ve known up till now based in the unworthiness of the self and all of the associated realities that go along with that. That picture is the only one you’ve been able to see up till now. You can now however see the new picture by looking into your current one and as you do, seeking to open your eyes to a new reality, your heart eyes expand and are enabled to see what you didn’t know was there up till now, but actually was as a deeper and truer layer of reality.

Try holding some of this new emerging feeling inside of yourself as you set out to meditate and see what now emerges in you without the need to dominate a wayward mind.

Feel into your own innate goodness amidst all of the so called mind chatter you hear going on.

For more, stay tuned to my FB feed and

Raphael Awen is co-creator, facilitator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. 

A Drip Line Of Non-Dual


By Jelelle Awen

A couple of months ago during an intense initiatory phase, I asked my guides for a strong infusion of energy while I was in a meditative state. My primary guide Morgaine, who is a high priestess who lives in the parallel dimension of Avalon, provided me with surges and pulses of energy, which ran up and down my chakras and slithered along my spine. It was familiar and yet, also, powerful. I didn’t realize how altered I was until later in the day when I was planting seeds in my garden.

I felt relaxed and yet, also, I was struggling to track anything mentally. At one point, I ‘lost’ my sun hat, which I had placed in the garden somewhere. I had to go up and around the paths many times to find it. This struck me as funny since I designed this garden; I know every path like the back of my hand, and it is not big at all! Then, I misplaced other things as well and it became difficult to even concentrate on the act of putting seeds in the ground. I got distracted by the wonder of a seed: how it holds all of the DNA for the plant to create itself in all of its form. A seed is in hibernation, just waiting for soil, water, and sun to burst free of its dormant shape and arise into its potential. Much like human beings, actually.

I finally decided that I couldn’t ‘do’ gardening anymore and needed to head back home. It felt like it was going to be a long walk, with my altered state of consciousness, yet I also felt a bit giddy with how different things felt. On my way out of the garden, I kept getting distracted by the leaves on the trees. Every leaf seemed to flash its molecular structure at me, a glittery burst of its real essence. There seemed to be a shimmer to everything. I was reminded of how tiny a spectrum of what is actually going on can we see through the narrow bandwidth of visible light.

Although it is normally only about a ten minute walk, it felt like it took much longer to get home. I didn’t have many words to share with my mate Raphael about what I was experiencing, but he could feel I was altered. I didn’t want to try to explain it too much as it felt like it would dampen the experience if my mind tried to understand it. And I couldn’t seem to do that anyway! When I helped him to get lunch ready, I struggled to get my body to do what my mind wanted it to do. And I couldn’t do anything at my usually brisk pace, even in the kitchen. I kept getting distracted by the ‘truer’ essence of things that seemed to have no relationship to anything else as I would walk by them or go to use them. For many moments, I held an arising wonder of black plastic in my hands before being able to remember that it was a ‘spatula’. This ‘state’ continued on until in the late afternoon when finally I could write again and think somewhat normally.

I feel that this condition was, to some extent, what I call a ‘drip line of the non-dual.’ The non-dual being a state of consciousness (even though it is not a state) where there are no contrasts, no opposites, and only essence or Arising Isness. The seeds, the leaves, even a common kitchen utensil all took on magical qualities when experienced through the lens of no-thing-ness. Before we were trained to use our minds to dualistically label everything with names and filter reality through comparisons, it feels like this is how we could have naturally experienced life.

In SoulFullHeart, we feel that it isn’t about the supremacy of the non-dual over the dual or that the ultimate attainment of the non-dual is the goal. Rather, it is bringing them into balance again so that our experience of reality flows between the two in a beautiful stream of ebb and flow. Raphael feels that we are 100% of both and have just overly focused on the dualistic side. To bring our consciousness back into balance and awaken to our essence of Infinite Love, we feel that opening the drip line (which could turn into a gushing flow over time) to the non-dual is a critical aspect.

For me, the best way I have found to open up my non-dualistic nature is during meditative journeys called immrams and energy transfusions which transcend the mind, engage with our true nature as energy, and bypass our defenses and false self to some extent. I have also had drip line tastes of non-duality through a dualistic relationship with Kuan Yin, an ascended teacher. Through my connection with Kuan Yin, I am able to receive transmissions of non-duality even as it is coming through a dualistic channel. I don’t feel that one cancels out the other and both can be used to experience the other. In this embracement of both, we aren’t making one ‘bad’, which is actually a dualistic way to see it.

It seems that when we resist one side of our nature in order to embrace the other that we become in fundamental struggle with ourselves. This struggle locks down our access to Arising Isness because the false self feels that we need to be ‘enlightened’ or ‘attained’ or spend hours and hours in meditation in order to transcend our dualistic nature. Maybe some souls do need hours of meditation every day, yet, my sense is that our false selves have made all of this much harder and more ‘exclusive’ than it actually is. In my drip line state of arising wonder that day, it felt as natural and easy as breathing. Because my mind was loosened and relaxed, it couldn’t evaluate or compare what was going on. It just ‘was.’

I look forward to more drip-line experiences (with maybe some gushers in the future) and bringing my nature back into balance between the dual and non-dual. And I look forward to experiencing and facilitating students here at the school in this exploration for which I am hoping that we will discover even more naturally arising ways to experience our essence as Infinite Love in both dualistic and non-dualistic forms.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit for more information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life

Awakening Is Like A Flower Bud Unfolding


Awakening is less like a lightning bolt coming from the sky as it is like a flower bud slowly unfolding its petals in response to the warmth of the sun.

Feelings of warmth, comfort, and joy course through me; these are the feelings of the energy that move in response to my beloved mate Raphael. The feelings are familiar but the intensity of soul frequency is new. Our relationship is eight years old and brand new, both. The marriage between Jillian and Wayne (our previous names) is complete and a new union is arising between Jelelle and Raphael. This is not just semantics, changing these names, but a symbolic decision to represent the stunningly new sense that we both feel about ourselves. We also retired the inherited family name of Vriend and have chosen the last name of Awen, which means Divine Inspiration and is also the fifth element.

Who are Jelelle and Raphael Awen? It is unknown and familiar; it is us in our best moments and us in our letting go of the past definitions. It is the result of years of process work, devotional connection to the Divine, and, recently, meditative astral journeying to our true soul home called Golden Earth and the parallel dimension of Avalon. In one way changing a name is easy; it is getting to the place of genuinely wanting to inhabit something new that is challenging.

This is the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. It is about change and transformation, life arising anew at every sunrise and sunset, we get to arise anew along with it, even changing our names if we are called to. It is about nature’s beauty matching and holding space for our own inner beauty to respond and bloom.

We’ve rejected feeling that earning money should be the goal of life and embraced that money represents love and can come in many forms (including gift exchange) and shouldn’t be the meaning of life. We’ve rejected pressure to conform to the rationalist, five sense picture of reality and embraced that our reality is much more vast, mysterious, and multidimensional than we can even imagine.

We feel that you have to say ‘no’, to push back on what you’ve been conditioned and programmed to believe about life, in order to experience what your meant to experience: yourself as an expression of Infinite Love. The SoulFullHeart Way Of Life operates from this foundation of Infinite Love, it overflows from this well spring, and it gushes from this pulsing vein. Any other source is an illusion created by the false self. Saying ‘no’ is only for a phase of time until you are made bare and new with only ‘yes’ as your necessary response to what you are offered. Yes to desire, yes to learning, yes to connection, yes to love. You become a student and teacher of Yes.

This came to me this morning as one way to describe the process of awakening that participation in the SoulFullHeart calls us to inhabit: Awakening is less like a lightning bolt coming from the sky as it is like a flower bud slowly unfolding its petals in response to the warmth of the sun. We provide the warmth of the sun in the form of love, support, guidance, and a setting in which you can truly focus on your process. You are the flower, each unfolding petal revealing the essence of your heart and soul expression. And the Divine smiles on it all, caught up in the goodness of our efforts and desire.

Jelayan Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information.