By Raphael Awen
In too much stability, we long for change and surprise. In too much instability, we look for handrails and some steadying support.
Underneath both is a deeper fear of harm or loss, just by different means.
Our souls and our creative powers will create both times of deep upheaval as well as times where no change is in sight. Both are needed in this journey through duality and time that we chose and created.
It’s kind of like trying a scary sport or travel to a foreign country. You want the thrill and the adventure, the pushing out of the comfort zone, just not too far. Each of us has a different ‘too far’, but we all have one. That too far is about our fear of losing being, our fear losing access to love.
Very few of us though have gotten anywhere close to feeling this naked fear face to face, though it lives in every one of us. This fear is one of our most common denominators of what it means to be human, maybe even ‘the’ most.
But we settle for lesser fears as placeholders in our consciousness as a way to avoid confronting this dragon. Fears about money, health, social connection all make really good distractions that leave us in an uncomfortable comfort zone, not too hot, but not too cold. It works for us while it does, even impressively so, until it simply runs its sacred course, until we have garnered the courage to let go of this familiar family of lesser fears, to re-enter life with less conditions, being born again, as it were, into entirely new vulnerabilities.
To come to feel that the content of our conscious anxieties, and what gets us out of bed in the mornings, is being driven by something deeper and unconscious is not a welcome thought, or even a likely thought during the phase of our happy well adjusted functionality and having it all together or even somewhat together. It is only when and as this phase is coming to a close and we feel that something deeper in our unconscious has us on an autopilot mode, albeit a loving one, but a mode nonetheless that we will need to get to know and feel or we will be left in a deep disconnect….as we are losing and mourning our previous way of being in life, our previous way of relating to life, the previous gas in our tank is evaporating.
What greater gift could life give you, but deepening connection with coming home to your own heart? Your days of paying rent or a mortgage on a home you don’t fully own are coming to a close. This is your home in the universe, and you’ve earned it, and no one and no thing can take it from you, as this deed of self-love is not subject to any kind of theft or deterioration. This is the true treasure stored up in heaven that our god pursuits were in search of. We wanted and needed a secure enough setting within which we could feel and heal this dragon of our deeper fears at the core of our being, a gymnasium designed to exorcise, feel and heal fear, an auditorium in which our primal screams could be heard and land in open and healed hearts.
All of our current and intermingled dramas have led us to this epic point of the story, that we are nothing but love, but we needed the journey of being convinced otherwise and then re-awakening to what we always were, never actually lost; as a way to activate a deeper reality of this love that we are, now awakened through both the dual and the non-dual, through the sorrow of loss and the joy of rediscovery.
Your life, as crazy as it may feel at times, is a super intelligent life, finding its own way, taking its own unimaginable risks as it knows it possesses stuff it can never lose, no matter how hard it may seem to try.
You can’t actually escape love. It is what you are. You just needed to come to terms with it. Being love is not the same as being in a relationship with love. It’s the relationship that is unfolding now… that life is asking now to show up for.
This is what has really got you out of bed this morning…for both the life you currently know and the one that lives in your dreams!
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.