By Raphael Awen
It wasn’t the traumas that occurred to us that affect us long term as much as it was our inability to digest those traumas.
Traumas are digested by a heart-open other being there to feel what we are feeling, while we are feeling it.
When that didn’t happen for us in our earliest experiences as our caregivers were busy nursing their own undigested traumas, and often were the source of new traumas happening to us, a part of us formed to shut down feeling.
This shutting down of feeling was the only viable option given the landscape. Even this is a loving act by a loving being inside of us. These Inner Protector parts of us took their posts early in our lives, often in our infancy as the frequencies were too dissonant and something ‘needed to be done’ if we were to survive, and fulfill our mission this life.
The most interesting thing though is that for these traumas and their energy, there is no such thing as time. Our emotions don’t live by a calendar or a clock. They are only in the now, and this so explains why we as a human race are so averse to hanging around in the Now, always projecting ourselves into the past, the not-so-present present and the future.
We are afraid of the Now. It’s not that being in the Now is such an attained spiritual practice, but rather that this part of us, tasked with not feeling and compartmentalizing our feelings away, has effectively cordoned our conscious selves off from the Now.
We are left with trauma, and a part of ourselves formed to deal with the trauma the best way it knew how, and this necessitated that this part be largely at the helm of your personality.
Only with an arising you that is willing, wanting and committed to feeling these undigested traumas, will the Inner Protector part of you begin to let down its guard and enter a new relationship to its own being.
This is the true magical ground of transmutation into love that many of us know and feel is overdue and wanting to arise Now, but find so elusive for us personally after much focus of time and resources to spiritual practices. It was our Inner Protectors largely that were leading our spiritual regimens seeking a bit of relief while keeping their reality intact in our lives.
So let me ask you this: Would you be willing to begin to feel an arising you, in your sense of self, as distinct from what you always simply called ‘you’, as an authentic self called to get to know and feel this Inner Protector?
This is the golden portal into your magical essence. Your Inner Protector has effectively preserved an alternative reality cryogenically, now awaiting your awakening to what is, to begin a thawing process entering into this previously forbidden world of feelings.
That world of feeling is where you came from. It is your most upstream essence as a consciousness. Entering this domain required your essence as feeling to be ‘dealt with’ until such time as a deeper feeling awareness could arise with intention to return to full feeling.
Now, you become this heart-open other who shows up in the Now to feel what couldn’t be felt when these traumas entered your life. You showing up for you. You finding the holy grail of your own consciousness, and giving yourself to it as your deepest calling…
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.