Ahimsa: Healing The Inner Violence To Feel Our Non-Violence

Ahimsa. It is a Sanskrit word that means “non-injury” or “non-violence”. In my recent process of diving into sexual and emotional trauma as a young boy and teen, I have been able to access the more innocent and essential aspect of me.

This In-Essence, I am calling it, is so very sensitive yet strong and enduring. When I tap into it, I feel how much violence I have learned to be with this life, and many others. This is true for all of us when we get to this very kernel of our Being. When I go outside, I am aware of the violence all around. Things that I would not have deemed as violent before. Sounds, words, actions, thoughts, energies, etc.

Now, going down that awareness road could lead me to just hold up in a cave somewhere and never come out. Of course, that is not what I want (well, maybe a part of me would be okay with that for a short time). What I want to feel is how I can practice Ahimsa in each moment with myself, with Other, and with the World.

The first thing for me is to be aware of the violence within and hold it with compassion. From a SoulFullHeart perspective this violence can come in the form of an Inner Punisher and/or our inner unworth. One parcels out the violence the other acquiesces to it. Holding space for both brings them into relationship, into forgiveness, and into healing.

The more we can heal the violence and unworthiness within, the more we become aware of what is not Ahimsa for us in each moment. That which did not seem violent yesterday may seem much more so tomorrow. The thoughts we have, the things we eat, the way we eat, the way we have sex, the way we talk, the things we say, the feelings we have, the expression or suppression that ensue. The list goes on.

It is Consciousness loving Itself in the most subtle of ways. Compassion is the bridge that takes us there. We cannot find ourselves in a vacuum devoid of violence but we can choose what we are a part of and/or how we respond to situations. Ahimsa becomes a momentary mediation on Love, just as much as holding the part of us that doesn’t feel it has ever really known it or deserves it.

Take a moment to be still and feel Ahimsa. Feel what is not. There the healing begins.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Waves Of Awakening Into Love With Love

by Kalayna Solais

Love pops you open sometimes.
You cry tears you didn’t know were there.
You lose track of what your mind once thought was important.
You start feeling more than efforting anything.


The flow begins and the changes take hold.
The choices made bring you closer to what your soul has wanted all along,
Even in the karma trauma that comes up to be felt between yourself and others.

When love pops you open
You know it’s love because you feel held
You feel like shit but you feel like you’re finding your way
Even in some small way.

And then you feel,
Slowly but surely,
How much more you now have to offer yourself and the world
Because you weren’t afraid of love popping you open.

And so,
Love thanks you.
Love celebrates all of it with you.
And you bring in more conscious connections of real love,
Held and expressed with others
Who have experienced the same.

Together, then
You flow and feel
And heal
And offer healing
And in all of this
There is always more to experience of love’s expansive gifts
And the forever of being Divine without force, bypassing,
Or overly giving to others while forgetting
And even celebrating
your own deep desires
And love-supported needs.

Love,
Kalayna Solais

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Reclaiming The Lost Boy Of Our In-essence

As a sensitive boy growing up, I could feel so much around me yet had no real guidance on how to interpret, digest, and integrate it all. This is really true for most if not all of us. The biggest piece I am revisiting now is the depth of my sexual trauma as a boy moving into manhood.
Confronted with so many images, energies, and conditionings around sex and sexuality, this boy in me found himself between a rock and a hard place (pardon the pun). There was the desire for innocence to be the name of the game. To dance with the essence in both the boy and the girl. Like a journey of discovery and playfulness.

Instead it was about fitting in to the dominant culture of woundedness. Girl became an object of my need to be validated as a man in the world. Her yoni a portal back into the womb of The Mother. But Girl was wounded too. She was looking for her own needs to be filled…so to speak
Now Boy is caught between fulfilling the needs of both the wounded masculine in his power over the feminine and the wounded feminine in her need to feel some hook into the masculine. Both invulnerable and unable to really see each other in their innocence or in-essence.

I reconnected with that boy in me again and replayed those days while feeling the innocence in contrast. The pain of what this boy packed away in order to survive in that world was heart-wrenching. I could feel the toxicity and pain swelling in my cells. All of the trauma that I never categorized as trauma because men don’t do that in what is just ‘those teenage years’.
If, as men, we were to really feel where we lost our innocence, we would really get to a core of who we are as a man. Why we have done, and to some degree still do, the things that we do. If we can ‘come to Jesus’ with this Lost Boy inside of us, we would find the root and beauty of our masculine innocence. Something we packed away a long fucking time ago.

In that innocence we also find the warrior who has fiercely protected him. The warrior who has both shadow to heal and truth to tell. Between them both is the Man who has a vulnerable heart and a willingness to call bullshit when he sniffs it. He is willing put his heart on the line but not his power. He is willing to seek forgiveness but not condemnation.

There has been no greater process for me than the one I am currently in. This Lost Boy in found again in my heart. I am loving him with every once of it that I have access to. It is my current sacred bromance. It is this process that activates and unearths more of my King or Sacred Sovereign Masculine Self. It is this process that leads me to more self-love and ability to see, feel, and relate authentically to the feminine within and without.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Loving The Spiritual Warrior Into The Spiritual Ambassador

Since the Solstice/Eclipse I found myself flying high in the sky to then falling toward the ocean like Icarus in the Greek myth. An outer trigger that constellated another layer of my wounded masculine and feminine.

It illuminated the ways in which they are both still working out their relationship to each other. As my own ascension and maturation process continues, I reach more subtle areas of my wounded and shadow selves. Then the subtle becomes more obvious and like an elephant in the room.

The awareness I felt was that parts of me still look outbound for validation rather than inbound and from me and the Divine. Before this SoulFullHeart work, I would respond to this awareness by trying to ‘improve’ myself or take care of my ‘shit’. This only brought in more frequencies of self-judgement rather than self-compassion.

Through connecting to my inner world of parts and Metasoul aspects, I have become more clear about who I, Gabriel, is as the ‘eye of the storm’ sort of speak. I am becoming more clear of my Essential self, that Me that is the spark of the Divine.

As I connect to that energy more, I can start to see the architecture of my wounding more and be able to hold the parts of me in vibration and pain. I am the Ambassador of my own ascension. My trailing edge wounds are a part of who I am. I cannot go very far without them. Their ascension is my ascension.

So in I go. Feeling. Reflecting. Compassionating. Loving. Owning and Growing. This is the path of Spiritual Ambassador, not the Spiritual Warrior. Even the warrior is held in Love and not in spite. It has enumerable gifts that are the fuel of our devotion to Love for all humankind and for ourselves as human souls.

For more on this topic of 4D Warrior to 5D Ambassador I highly recommend today’s call with Raphael and Jelelle Awen. They will be bridging these energies through teaching and a guided meditation to bring in more compassion, forgiveness, and self-love. It will be available as a recording as well. To get the details go to soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Shifting From ‘Fighting’ For Your Desires/Needs Into Advocating With Self-Love

by Kalayna Solais

You’re hard-wired to seek out a life that has more ease to it, more deep fulfillment. You’re conditioned, however, to ‘fight’ for it outside of you, to ‘make’ it happen, instead of feeling and healing the fight within you, respond to life on the outside as needed, and to allow this desired life to reveal itself to you from the inside out.

Amazing things happen as the ‘warriors’ that 3D and Lower 4D consciousness have co-created within you start to heal. You start to see and experience a life with less turmoil and tension. And, you recognize that when you do feel these things in your field, you have all the power you need to choose appropriate boundaries and other shifts in your circumstances or relationships that are led by self-love.

The ‘warriors’ inside of you are the parts of you that have HAD to push away at the toxicity they were born into, in one way or another. They’ve HAD to be in their own sacred processes of awakening to the rumbles of the collective, to the systems in place that yes, need to and are collapsing, even without parts of you holding the blowtorch (though I get that in some cases, boy do they want to!). Healing the warrior energy inside of you is not about moving into passivity or transcending any difficulties you witness or experience until they go away on their own.

Actually, it’s quite an active process of feeling the inner battlegrounds and going THERE. Going into your Metasoul to feel the personal connection you hold to ‘race wars’ within other lifetimes, let alone this one. Going inward to feel what the people in power represent, how your own soul has participated willingly in the creation of the collapsing ‘Cabal’. Your sacred soul journey is playing out now and always and within is the place where you have any real jurisdiction to ‘do your part’ to change the world at large.

Any actions you need to take on the outside of you, then spring naturally from these places and parts within you that are healing. You’ll naturally feel the need for more space from others who don’t resonate with the inner work you’ve undertaken. You won’t necessarily find even a ‘battle’ in that advocation, even if there are moments of needing to push back against an energy to set a much-needed boundary. This experience is temporary though and you’ll find it comes from a new place within you and with new energy too, that isn’t looking for a battle but responding instead to dissonant energies and moving them out of your heart space and personal space with LOVE.

This process is a sacred re-wiring of your life from the inside-out. It holds the fulfillment you’re ultimately seeking and wanting and deeply desiring. It unlocks the door to you, your parts, your ever-deepening soul journey and shifts you into the space of being a Love Ambassador, a unique energy that this world, and your inner world, need now more than ever before.

Gabriel, Raphael, and I offer FREE 30-45min consultation calls if you’re interested in the SoulFullHeart Experience healing process and what I’m offering here: soulfullheart.org/sessions

MUCH love! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Energy Update: Solstice/Eclipse/’Father’s Day’ Sacred Masculine Codes Illuminating Shadow Masculine

by Kalayna Solais

The Solstice/Eclipse energies coming in are super activating and A LOT to let in, especially as it feels like they are mostly coming from the Divine Father/Sacred Masculine. Plus, on top of that, we have a blend of the shadow masculine and sacred masculine energies coming in on ‘Father’s Day’. None of this is accidental, of course, and I definitely get the sense that we’ll need to ‘buckle up’ a bit for what is being illuminating and what wants to move within.

As Divine Father/Masculine energies come through, you’ll feel illuminations of your own shadow masculine expressions in this life and others. You’ll likely feel the grab at old relationships to others, to soul purpose work as well that your masculine has needed for a sense of ‘worth’ in the world. You’ll feel the outrage of your masculine and even masculinized ‘warrior feminine’ coming forward in some cases, wanting to set fire to everything in your life and to the 3D systems still collapsing.

None of this is ‘wrong’ to feel and all too often the necessary waves of rage, which is really passion when felt in its leading edge, get put down or therapized instead of heard and deeply felt. These are necessary pieces to feel as the world continues to shift and change and your parts/aspects are figuring out how to respond to it all. Do they conform to what the popular opinion or action-taking is, or do they rebel against it? Do they feel to stay in a polarized position and argue, fighting to convince others of their side… or do they choose to go inward, to drop the sword, to have their truth validated by YOU as a growing and healing ‘self’, and feel their vulnerability in it all?

When the Divine/Sacred Masculine moves through our heart spaces, it penetrates. It pierces through the din within. It creates a poultice because of the potency of its love, to draw out the parts of you that need love and that are convinced that the outside world has to change first before they can feel loved. It’s an energy that shows you its truth and helps you feel your own. It’s an energy that wants you to be empowered yet invites you to heal any need to seek power over anyone or anything else.

This weekend is going to be VERY powerful! It’s a potent time to go inward, connect with the Divine Father face/expression that most resonates for you, and to connect with your own Inner Masculine and what may be rumbling within him/them as well.

Here is a meditation led by Jelelle and Gabriel to help you connect with the Divine Father: https://youtu.be/QTWxFux2KA4

Much love! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

The Gatekeeper As An Essential Part Of Our Awakening And Ascension

The timeline gates have widened. Gaia is continuing Her ascent. Love is doing its Work. It is not pretty or neat. It is real. What has been in Shadow is coming to the Surface. It will continue to do so. There is no more ‘normal’. There only navigation, surrender, and self-love. As chaotic as it appears, it is necessary so we can find ourselves again.

The ‘past’ is finding its way to the present. That ‘past’, or other timelines, are weaving in and out of each of our fields. A great final act is underway. So how can you navigate all of this intensity and increased Love Bath at the same time?

The Gatekeeper is an aspect that holds many keys to our emotional and spiritual healing and ascension. It is the Purveyor and Guardian of your deepest traumas and gifts, both. Through access and relationship with the aspect of you, you get a wider view of what is going on inside and outside of you. How does your soul story relate to what is happening now? Where does all the pain, fear, anxiety, depression come from?

This is where your Gatekeeper can be a guide alongside your humanity. Many times we can fuse to this energy and it is INTENSE! More than our human bodies and hearts can handle at times. A deeper connection and separation from them can help to feel your sovereign self among the chaos.

I made the top image below to represent what a Gatekeeper may feel like to some. This is how he came to me in the beginning stages of my process. With much work and inner process he has changed quite a bit to a more angelic presence. They do, and can, hold many varied frequencies. For more info on this aspect you can read this great article here:https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/gatekeepers

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Though Chapters Complete, Connections Remain

by Kalayna Solais

You can complete a chapter with someone/something, but you can’t complete a soul connection… nothing ‘ends’, it just changes form.

And in that new form, something has arisen from the ashes.

I feel this in my relationship to Gabriel now that it’s been a year since we completed our marriage and sacred union bond, looking back at everything we’ve been through and feeling how connected we still are, only now in deep and genuine friendship.

I feel this in my relationship with SoulFullHeart and the necessary phases of separation that have always led me deeper into me and then, blessedly, deeper into the community and into soul and heart-based leadership.

I feel this in relationship to my parts… the ones I’ve had to set boundaries with in order to have them arise anew again for me/with me.

Soul draw and resonance cannot be truly collapsed, though our more protective parts of us may want that, as deeper soul connections are catalytic, and at times there may be phases of needing space on both sides. They will always push the necessary buttons for our growth, gently or otherwise. And, if we’re meant to experience that growth together and not only in physical separation from each other, we will.

Love wants us to have all of the growth we can imagine.

Love wants us to have as much of that growth while together in the same room, if possible. And, even though sometimes it isn’t possible, love reminds us of the connection that true soul love really IS and that it can never ‘go away’.

Photo by yours truly, of a beautiful tree I was connecting with the other day…. ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Connecting With Your Gatekeeper Group Call June 17

By Jelelle Awen

I first felt the energy of my Gatekeeper aspect in 2008. It didn’t feel like a guardian angel, a guide, or any part of myself that I had contact with before. There was something so familiar in the presence though, even as I could also feel ‘his’ angst and some deep sadness too that I couldn’t understand. I was going through a Dark Night phase during that time and we were in acute need of each other, having left a spiritual community and teacher that had been very meaningful to me. My Gatekeeper revealed himself to me eventually and over the years as the guardian of my veil of amnesia, able to modulate access to other lifetimes and timelines/soul activations and more, and having awareness of ALL of my lifetimes within the fourth dimensional space for which he existed outside of linear time.

Over the years since then, I have spoken with many (probably hundreds) of Gatekeepers inside of people in sessions, and they are always fascinating, magical, mysterious, and holding deep access to soul terrains that previously have been blocked to us. They very often show up as a Wizard (like Merlin or Gandalf) and have that same frequency of magical wisdom. They often test you for a while to make sure that you are ready for the realms that they have access to open up for you. They especially need to feel that you are emotionally mature enough to process and digest the soul patterns and themes that reveal themselves.

In collaboration with your Gatekeeper, you are able to have free flow access to your soul (or Metasoul as I’ve been guided to call it.) With their cooperation, you are able to connect in a much deeper way with aspects from other lifetimes, heal each other, and exchange soul gifts together. This process of exchange activates soul unification, what had been severed is able to begin coming together. There is nothing quite like the feeling sense of your soul fragment reunions moving into more of a unified Divine Self expression!

Raphael Awen and I will explore this ground tomorrow during the fourth call in our Free To Be 2 series at 10:00 am PDT. We will teach and share more about our personal process experience with our Gatekeepers and how we have experienced a transformation of them that allows open access to your soul fields. And we will co-lead a guided meditation to connect with your Gatekeeper.

You are welcome to join us live and/or you will receive the recording for ANY donation amount that you feel to offer. You will also receive the recordings from the previous calls and access to attend the remaining ones. You can offer a donation at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. More info at soulfullheart.org/freetobe2

Now is a time in which the veils are particularly thin as the Matrix collapses, more souls awaken, and the time for remembering deepens!

More about the Gatekeeper and a meditation to meet yours here: https://youtu.be/-IZQYBoE6Cg

love,
Jelelle Awen

I share much more about the Gatekeeper and other 4D Aspects, ongoing Ascension process, and even writings on this current global awakening process in my new book Free To Be 5D: Navigating Ascension From The Inside Out. More info here: soulfullheart.org/books

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For information about a free consultation call and 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators Raphael Awen/Gabriel Heartman/Kalayna Solais, virtual group call events, writings/books (including Jelelle’s latest Free To Be 5D), and videos, visit soulfullheart.org.

Metasoul/Karmic Healing Brings Clarity To Your NOW

There are so many timelines that are in play right now. Taking a Star Being’s-eye view, it almost looks like the multitude of tree branches coming out from a central trunk.
That trunk feels like our essential unity. The core of who and what we are in our nature. Our Divine/Galactic connection. Yet there are multiple offshoots all leading to an eventual termination point.

These can be seen and felt as Metasoul timelines that have a varied impact on the Now. These timelines have an effect on what is happening both inside of you and outside. All these personal soul narratives coalescing and merging into one powerful human lower 4D soup.

To feel these timelines, or Metasoul aspects, it gives you a personalized relationship to what is happening on the world’s stage, and the turmoil that it may be causing within. When ‘this life’ trauma and reaction are coupled with ‘other life’ trauma and reaction, there is a large personal power suck that happens.

It is like the energy from the trunk gets moved to the branches rather than the supportive core itself. The trunk loses itself and its holding power, and then can collapse by the energetic weight of the branches.When your branches (parts and Metasoul aspects) are brought inward, toward your trunk (our higher heart and soul expression), the energy can then be transmuted and integrated into your core. This more solid You can then begin to see and feel what is authentically yours and how you want to authentically respond and act.

In our next Free To Be 2 group call, Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be talking about the Metasoul, Karmic healing, and the Gatekeeper. They will provide a guided meditation to help you meet your Gatekeeper, who is akin to your personal guardian and guide of your Metasoul. The Gatekeeper is an important aspect to become acquainted with when desiring to do a deep dive into soul karma, trauma, and pattering.

By feeling your personal soul relationship to any external circumstance whether it be global, social, or intimate, it can bring a whole new consciousness around the pain, fears, and reactions to so many things. It has been a huge gift to me on my journey and has really helped to get that Star Being’s-eye view as well as a grounded relationship (roots) to what my needs, desires, and clarities are.
For more information please visit: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

If you are interested in a free consult with myself, Raphael, or Kalayna you can go to soulfullheart.org/sessions for more info as well.

Much love to you during these trying times.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.