Connect With Your Emotional Body Guided Meditation Video – Deepen 2020 W/Jelelle Awen

By Jelelle Awen

 

Connect With Your Emotional Body Guided Meditation – Video Three Deepen 2020

In this third video of my video series called Deepen 2020, I talk about the importance of connecting with your emotional body through accessing parts of yourself and digesting emotional traumas with them in a feeling-based way (not through mental analysis or bypassing with spiritual frequencies). I talk about how we are conditioned and trained to overly focus on the development of our mental bodies (and even our physical bodies and spiritual bodies) over our emotional body, which is often trailing behind in maturity, health and porosity/lightness. And that much of what we feel as ’emotions’ is actually reactions and off gassing from undigested traumas in our emotional bodies.

In the meditation, Mother Mary and Yeshua join us as Divine feminine and masculine energies that are very emotional body and heart-based in frequency and can hold space for emotional digestion. Your Inner Protector is invited as well and we journey to connect with your emotional body, as represented in visualization as a river. You are invited to see and feel how your emotional body river is right now and to wade into it…bringing healing energies with you.

Thank you for joining me in this video….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

You can watch each video in the Deepen 2020 playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience YouTube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

You can watch videos from my previous 33 Day Deepen series from 2019 here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

Energy exchange increases the receiving of healing! Money donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange to support me and SoulFullHeart to continue providing free offerings such as this video series. You can donate through paypal: paypal.me/jelelleawen or become a one-time or regular patreon donor: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

This video series is a useful introduction and bridge to the powerful SoulFullHeart quantum healing process and cutting-edge way of life experienced and offered through group calls/sessions/retreats and 1:1 sessions with Jelelle and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators. For more information, visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Bringing Light and Love To The Shadow Inside And In Your Soul

By Jelelle Awen

What is in my heart today are the lost ones, the ones called ‘dark’, the ones called ‘crazy’. The ones forgotten in the din and busyness of 3D life. The ones who don’t know how to play the ‘game’ or how to ‘get ahead’. The ones so sensitive that their hearts seem to burst and break with every injustice and abuse.

These ones live inside of you. They take the form and shape of your Inner Teenager. Your Inner Child. Your Inner Punisher. Your Inner Protector. Your Gatekeeper. Aspects from other timelines and lifetimes too.

They are beyond shape and age and time too. Their energies are so often stuck in a looping pattern of trauma, like a suffering-based Ground Hog’s Day that can never seem to end. They are beyond time in that the traumas are happening over and over…not in the ‘past’.

They become these traumas and cannot seem to escape from the aftermath of them…no matter how much conscious ‘work’ is done to heal from these situations. That is why so often you can feel a trailing edge emotional reactivity and wounding that still lingers on no matter how many spiritual awakening and bliss/Oneness/Kundalini experiences that you have.

They are sometimes soul fragments (Metasoul aspects) from other lifetimes who are in more intense circumstances than your current one. They are repeating out soul patterns of experiencing abuse, persecution, being both the victim and the perpetuator.

When you access and connect to these hidden ones directly inside yourself and in your soul with the support of the Divine, they can start to see that there IS a reality outside of the pain path they have known. As they feel YOU come into their world with compassionate curiosity, these parts of you can start to realize that they are not wrong, crazy, or dark at all. Yet, rather, they have often absorbed these energies from others in an effort to transmute them in order to get more love.

This is the way of the empath and sensitive healer soul…and it is often a painful way until the lessons are learned of boundaries that come from self love and self worth. As you feel all these sensitive and empathic parts of yourself, you also open up to the shadow ones that cause the recapitulation of abuse and judgement and even narcissistic pattern behavior too. As you love even the narcissist INSIDE, you provide relief to all parts of yourself and free up the gifts that these parts hold for you as they integrate.

These lost ones become found under the love of your beaming heart. These dark ones become light in response to your compassionate soul. These crazy ones become sane in relationship to your grounded sanity. I have witness this transformation take place over and over again in myself and many others….all made possible by love being directly offered to the parts that MOST need it.

This self love process is natural, organic, and ingrained in us as sparks of the Divine. The discovery is held with MUCH love by the Divine Mother and Father as we remember and BEcome the Divine essence of love in wholeness again!

Here is more about parts/Metasoul aspects: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

Here are many guided meditation videos to assist you in connecting to these parts: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3

Jelelle Awen
1:1 sessions available with me over zoom for women to feel and heal these precious parts of your self and soul for $100 CAD (about $77 USD) for 90 very FULL minutes! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about  1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

The Tides Are Turning

The tides are turning.
What has always laid underneath
Is coming to the surface.
Coming into full view

We are each going to be presented
With a choice
A choice to feel
To take responsibility
To take action
To surrender
To forgive

We will be given access to
All that has haunted us
All that we have hidden
Or just couldn’t bear to see
As well as all that we have been
Prepared to become
To embody
To let in as our highest calling

The Light is breaching the horizon
Casting shadows
And providing illumination
How you respond to that is a choice
An epic decision for a part of you to die
In order to fly

This is the sticky, prickly
Lower 4D ground we have been walking upon
Because it is all that parts of our soul
Have ever felt they have known

But we are being shown something different
Something more alive
It is our courage to go into this ground
And bring the Light of our bigness and depth
To help set us free once and for all

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Awakening Of Your Gatekeeper For Quantum Healing

By Jelelle Awen
These are the shorter days and longer nights of this winter SOULstice passage. Even with the busyness of the holiday season, there is a deeper invitation to REST and to move into more STILLNESS in order to open up more inner grounds.
 
It is often in the still place that you can connect more within, into the magical lands and places of shadow. These can be difficult places to journey into with blocks and filters and veils in place to kept them hidden. As a guide to this deeper inner regions of the shadow in the heart and soul for many years (and lifetimes), I have experienced that it takes extra love and care (even gentleness) to open up access to them. It is not a matter of remembering in the mind as much as it is awakening of the soul and expansion of the heart.
 
Most of what you have experienced as traumatic and painful and may still have reactions/triggers about IS connected to what your soul is experiencing on a quantum level in many lifetimes and timelines in the NOW. So much of this-life is about a recapitulation of this soul trauma, usually at a lesser level yet with the same energy tone/frequency to it. Focusing just on the local experiences of this life is a limited picture that doesn’t ultimately resolve or heal the soul wound at its source.
 
Now is a powerful time of increasing capacity to heal on this quantum level and complete our cycles of incarnation here into denser timelines. It feels as if many of us have chosen to complete the need to come into 3D timelines for our growth.
 
I have discovered through my own process and working with others that there are important inner guides and guardians within us that are key to opening up these places. Your Inner Protector stands connected to the 3D experience of this life….your ‘local’ experience of this timeline, which is a challenging one as Gaia and humanity transitions out of the Dark Night of 3D into the revelatory phase of 4D and eventually into the Heaven within the body experience of 5D. Your Inner Protector is primarily concerned with your safety and care, especially of your Inner Child.
 
You can connect with your Inner Protector here in this guided meditation: https://youtu.be/2FzBzK5vgck
 
Your Gatekeeper (a higher dimensional soul guardian aspect) is watching the timelines of your soul play out, all the scenes of tragedy, horror, and difficulty especially…often running on a never ending loop. They feel powerless to do anything about the karmic looping, the incarnational cycle that repeats itself over and over as your soul learns what it came to learn for and with the Divine.
 
I have been connecting with many Gatekeepers lately in sessions who are ready to wake up, lift the veil, allow access to these timelines so that they might finally heal and complete. Your Gatekeeper becomes the bridge to these lifetimes and the channel of Divine love necessary for the transmutation of them. They are able to modulate the opening to these Metasoul aspects (as we call them) so that you are not overwhelmed by their energies (which is often the primary concern of the Gatekeeper.) 
 
Now in this completion passage of so many cycles of 2019 and moving into clearer vision 2020 is a powerful time to connect with your Gatekeeper. You will probably be amazed at what they will give you access to of your OWN soul knowledge, gifts, and experiences. It can take time and spaceholding with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator to provide a bridge to them. There is more info about 1:1 sessions with us here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
 
Here is a guided meditation and teaching to connect with your Gatekeeper: https://youtu.be/-IZQYBoE6Cg
 
Love,
Jelelle Awen
 
Last night, the sky was on fire with a surprisingly bright sunset! Powerful codes!

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about  1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC (next one is March 20-23), writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

The Seven Areas Of Life: Past, Present and Future

By Raianna Shai

I decided recently to do my own version of this popular “Decade In Review” style post. One of the tools we use in SoulFullHeart to process where we are in our life, and where we want to be is using the “7 Areas of Life”. These areas include Emotional, Spiritual, Social, Physical, Mental, Environmental and Financial. I thought it would be a really cool practice to use this to review where I was 10 years ago, where I am now, and where I’d like to be in the future. I felt into each area of life and processed my own personal past, present and future. I’ll write a little bit about what I discovered, I’ll include the article that I used as reference and I’ll attach an outline for you to fill out yourself!

First, here is the article about the 7 Areas of Life: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/3d4d5dselvesquestions

This article is divided into the 3D/4D/5D versions of each of these areas of life. 3D being a denser frequency focused on a way of seeing the world through the 5 senses. Lower 4D has more of a rumbly feeling with the way you’ve always seen the world starting to change, often with feelings of anger, injustice and frustration. Upper 4D frequencies are when you start to heal a lot of your trauma and fear and in turn, return to love and peace inside of yourself. 5D is the higher self version of you that has little reaction and can move through life in flow, trust and love for everything and everyone while still being able to hold boundaries.

One thing I noticed about myself in this, is that 10 years ago I primarily resonated with the 3D version of these areas, currently I find myself closest to upper 4D and for my future I would love to reach a level of 5D conscious in all areas.

10 years ago: I find that I have no judgement of the 14 year old version of myself being more in 3D. She was young, kind and intelligent but had so much insecurity and fear that much of her reality was clouded over compared to its potential. She was also very shy and would rarely speak up in class, say her truth or admit any feelings that weren’t positive. Drama would happen all around her and she would do whatever she could to not be involved. She wanted to please everyone and be the perfect student/daughter/friend and later girlfriend.

She was very emotional, though not very aware of where her emotions came from or how they could actually affect others if left unhealed. Socially, she had the same friends since kindergarten but was about to move to Canada and embark on a completely new journey. This change in environment proved to massively change my self confidence and ability to take on new and scary situations. She was awakened to some spirituality a couple of years prior but wasn’t able to sustain much of this connection. At this point, she had no real desire to connect to spirituality and focused more on the mental aspect of her life. She is a vastly different person from who I am today but the essence of who I am was still there inside of her. Compassion, emotion, and joy.

Today: Feeling into who I am now helped me have so much gratitude for all of the hard emotional and spiritual work that I have done so far. So much unworthiness, insecurity and fear has been shed in the last 10 years and it’s because of every single experience that I have had. Whether they felt good or bad in the moment, I can see now the purpose for all of it.

In the last three years or so I have become SO much more in tune with parts of me and my emotions. Discovering the root causes of my fears and feeling them into healing. My connection to spirituality has substantially increased with experiences of kundalini, openings with the Divine and more relationships with my metasoul and galactic families. My social world has been a rollercoaster ride these last 10 years with much letting go of that which no longer served where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be. Now I have opened the doors for beings who inspire my spiritual journey and resonate on every level possible. I have changed environments in big ways including a move to Mexico and back to Canada which allowed me to appreciate the energy of where I live and cultivate a center inside of me that will stay with me anywhere in the world! Financially, I have an online job that allows me to spend my days working on my soul purpose, even if the job itself is not directly a part of that. I am so proud of where and who I am today. I am excited for even more growth but if I died today, I would be so happy with exactly where I’m at now, and I never thought I would be able to say that.

Future: I have such a clear and yet flexible picture for how I see my future. I imagine even less fear and reaction, more love flow in every moment, and deeper connections with resonant souls in my life. Travel is a huge desire of mine and connecting that to service is even more enticing. Having a property that is filled with our SoulFullHeart community while having phases of travel within that is probably number one on my list. I see myself serving others as a facilitator as well helping behind the scenes to organize, plan and design. My creativity has been flowing much more lately and I hope to connect these skills to my finances and service. I feel my relationship flourishing and deepening every day, helping each other grow and become loving mirrors for each other. Socially, I would love more women to connect with and have comfortable yet growthful experiences with. I would love to have less anxiety and less thoughts spinning around in my head. In this, I see more trust and flow with my mentality and existing more through emotion and intuition.

This practice was huge in helping me feel love for the 14 year old version of myself, gratitude for where I am now, and excitement for what the next 10 years hold! I highly recommend doing even a couple of these areas of life, especially the ones you are struggling with or would like to see movement in. It can be hard for parts of us to not judge where we are but it helps to see how far we’ve come! We are a beautiful and messy work in progress and we will never be the same soul that we were yesterday.

 


 

Here is an outline I created to make it easier for you to organize it all if you like!

Emotional: The Emotional area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to your emotions, your subconscious, your pain body, emotional healing, and emotional expression.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Spiritual: The Spiritual area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to your Spirituality, soul gift expression, soul purpose, Ethereal Guides, the Divine, and your energy body/chakras.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Mental: The Mental area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have toward your intelligence, knowledge, non-duality, wisdom, and mental-based intuition.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Social: The Social area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to birth and soul family, friendships, romantic mateships, Ethereal Guides, and Star BEings.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Physical: The Physical area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to your physical body, your health, your nutrition, your sexual desirability and expression.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Financial: The Financial area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to money, material wealth, abundance, livelihood, soul purpose expression and purpose.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Environmental: The environmental area of life includes the relationship you have to your physical surroundings, geography, global and galactic environment, the natural world, and animals.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 


 

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free intro calls and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

The Kaleidoscopic Realness Of Feeling

Sometimes it gets cold inside
Ice forms over the places that haven’t been easy to feel
To remember.

It is not the totality of the Heart
But a protected region.
The Sun hasn’t quite made its way
But it’s always patiently persistent.

The cold and isolated parts of us
Just need that reminder that it was all necessary.
All part of the plan and journey.

It was all Love.
Believe it or not.

So I sit with the coldness
The fear
The unworth

I offer an ember
That may one day grow
And melt away all that it has covered.
Releasing the essence of being

The kaleidoscopic realness of feeling
Of transparency
Of authenticity
Of warmth
Of joy
Of Grace

But today we just sit
And feel the moment
What Is
With Love

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Giving Season In The Real Age

The holiday season is here in full force. We have many religious traditions, the winter solstice, and the turn of a new year and decade approaching. There is much anticipation of what is to come on so many levels. So many predictions and possibilities. We are awash with potential and demand at the same time.

In all of this it is easy to lose track of our selves. The parts of us that can get buried in it all. This can be a very magical time if we can take the time to slow it all down. What is that you really want if you were to be totally honest with yourself?

Now that may seem counter to the Giving Season. You ‘should’ be focused on others. Your loved ones and those that are less fortunate. It is not the others that I take issue with, it is the ‘shoulding’. That shoulding, if it exists, does not dispense or seed genuine Love at its core.

When you feel a genuine and authentic love for yourself, and all the parts of you that have been in shadow and hiding, then you bring something real to the Giving. You bring something that is not laced with guilt, duty, or obligation. It is free and flowing.

My purpose here is to bring an awareness to our giving as well as our intending, not to diminish it. What I want for all of us this coming year is a personal journey of self-love that can authentically overflow to those we come in contact with formally or informally. It is the internal combustion engine of our heart-centered alchemy.

There is a lot of hope that next year will ‘be the year’. We can hold that intention while we continue to do the work today. Right now. In this moment. That daily promise to yourself and all of your parts is what seeds that global transformation. Send love globally while you give love locally.

May this holiday season be a catalyst for your own personal evolution and arising. May the lovelight of consciousness find all of the places where we all need it the most in our shadow. Only then can the bells ring for the dawn of the Real Age.

Love to you this season.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Secret Worlds Colliding: The Reunion Of The Inner Masculine and Feminine

Seeing things that were not there
On a wing on a prayer
In this state of disrepair
Down by the railway siding
In our secret world, we were colliding
All the places we were hiding love
What was it we were thinking of?

-Peter Gabriel, Secret World

The past 2 weeks I have been in mourning. Continuing to let go of my relationship to my former wife, healing companion, and soul-growth partner. This has brought me to many tears and awarenesses of who I was and have been in relationship to intimacy and romance. I have felt a closing off of my heart and a difficulty going into the core of my fear. This was a merging and fusion to my wounded inner masculine that has been on guard for most of my life.

He has been a wall builder and a camouflage artist. I do not say that with judgement, but with compassion and gratitude as I understand why. So much coming to light about how much he had to create a Secret World in order to protect my inner feminine, my sensitive heart. Fortunately it never became so hardened that I couldn’t fall in love, but it was the eventual shut-downs and push-aways that extinguished any fire that once burned hot.

I was guided in session to connect with this guarded inner masculine (i.e. Inner Protector) to feel what the walls were hiding and protecting. The walls were initially very formidable, yet were covered with foliage which suggested life. Underneath there was moisture which suggested a porosity. I found a doorway that led to another set of walls, only this time thinner and more shrub-like. It appeared as a maze or labyrinth.

As I continued, I heard a sweet song being sung with a feminine voice. I was lead to a river bank where a beautiful woman stood washing clothes. I was immediately taken to a timeline of a military man returning home from a long tour of duty, ashamed of how long he had been away and a fear that the woman he once loved may never forgive him because he had never forgiven himself.

While this felt specific, it was also symbolic. The inner masculine having been doing its ‘duty’ for so long that he had created a Secret World to protect Her. His beloved counterpart that he had almost forgotten about in the day to day fear of being seen and witnessed as lonely, tired, and unforgivable. He could feel alone, but not his loneliness.

That feels like the crux of the wounded masculine. Feeling his genuine and vulnerable loneliness. His missing of the feminine. His forgotten aspect hidden in the depth of the psyche and heart. A man’s true journey, I am realizing, is this journey back to Her and the transparency of the Secret World he has created. The walls burn down and the Emperor wears no clothes.

It is in this space that new connection arises. She takes her space next to him. She sparks the fire and warms the hearth. Helps him to thaw from the journey of the cold and the hiding. He shakes and quivers, but is held by her. He releases and dies from what was, reimagining what could be. He may still build walls, for it was all he has known to do, but She will be there to help bring them down with love in her heart. To remind him again of the journey he took to find her once again. No longer a secret world, but an open world where only real love and truth reign.

I wanted to share this as an example of what this work can lead us to inside of ourselves. As a facilitator, I am in need of healing too. I am not perfect. Just human. A man that has chosen a path of confronting the very thing parts of him fear the most. Real Love. No matter how hardened or disconnected we become, we are always in reaction this force within us that will not be denied for it is our essence and destiny to let it reign. It is the very power that we seek as humans, only to have misinterpreted what that power really is. It is my desire and calling to serve and share that with the world.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Invisible, Imperishable Good Stuff

“In the external scheme of things, shining moments are as brief as the twinkling of an eye, yet such twinklings are what eternity is made of — moments when we human beings can say “I love you,” “I’m proud of you,” “I forgive you,” “I’m grateful for you.” That’s what eternity is made of: invisible imperishable good stuff.” – Fred Rogers

Mr. Rogers is one of those unforgettable beings in our lifetime who touched a place within us that is The Eternal. No matter what gender, race, or creed, Fred Rogers held the light of wonder, mystery, fantasy, and our heart-open reality. His love of Innocence from the heart of a child is what he will forever be known for.

It was the child in us all that he was speaking to. We could easily get caught up in watching him with our children as intently as they did. It was his genuineness and his integrity that was alien to us. The character in the movie who was tasked to cover Mr. Rogers even said, “This man cannot be real. There is a story here.”

Yet it was his desire to feel and help others to feel that made him so real. He made feeling the most essential part of our existence next to joy and imagination. His advocacy of kindness and compassion should never be forgotten.

We can carry that light he brought to the world week in and week out by being kind and compassionate to ourselves. Give space to the parts of us that feel hurt, scared, angry, anxious, depressed, disempowered, guilty, etc. They make up that Make Believe Land inside of us. That is what the puppets represented…parts of Fred Rogers.

When we begin to honestly care for these parts of us, can we genuinely bring that to the world and offer that love to others through the heart-eyes of our inner child. This is the continued work. Regain that connection to the magic and joy that has never left us but has only been sequestered. The Eternal part of us that can always be accessed by hearing “I love you”, “I am proud of you”, “I forgive you”, and “I’m grateful for you”.

In loving honor of Fred Rogers. A real hero of heart.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

A Decade Later, A Decade To Come: Healing, Integration, and Embodiment Of Your ‘Future’ Self

Completing a decade provides a powerful crossroads of what was, what Is, and what wants to Be.

I have been noticing a lot of people posting pics of themselves from a decade ago compared to today. While there are these noticeable physical differences, what is really happening is an INventory and a chronicling of where each of us has gone energetically, emotionally, and spiritually in the past decade.

While I don’t seem to have any pics from a decade ago due to a lot of movement and misplaced storage, I did feel to tap into the ‘me’ of a decade ago and feel what has shifted and what remained. Not so much a ‘self-improvement’ analysis, but more of a curiosity of things that still need my attention and heart space.

The most apparent thing to me when I feel back to those days is how fragmented and scattered I felt inside. I felt like multiple selves vying for a turn at the wheel of my destiny. A lot of frustration, depression, unfulfillment, and anxiety. I was still drinking but to a lesser degree and partaking occasionally in drug use and smoking. I was obsessed with politics and the threat of the ‘New World Order as a fascist overtaking of Liberty’ while feeling completely disconnected to Spirit and The Divine. It was very lonely and confusing time inside of me.

Ten years later I can feel myself much more unified, or becoming more unified. I have ventured inward enough to reclaim this scattered parts of me into closer proximity to each other and to this being named Gabriel. All of the reactions toward life have become more assuaged and held with care and love. I feel myself looking at the news as if I am looking at grand play curious to how it will all resolve while feeling more resolution within myself. The anxiety has lessened and been replaced by wonder.

Of course there are still threads that lie under the surface of this continued process. They are my going on places. My relationship to transparency, intimacy, leadership, romance, and my galactic amnesia. This is the INventory. The base tones of my intentions going forward. They are my daily meditations. What do I still have yet to feel and uncover to bring these more into healing and activation and less in hiding and shadow? They are my portals into the next decade.

If I were to have set intentions ten years ago, I can say I hit the mark on some but not on others. I looped on some things the last decade but made progress on others. It is seeing it holistically where compassion and motivation intersect. No judgement. Just discernment and activation. I do not want to be the same person tomorrow I was yesterday. This is a path laid with passionate self-love and not desperate self-improvement.

I recommend this exercise. It is illuminating and inspiring. If judgement comes up, then recognize that as a part of you to get to know. To become intimate with as a collaborator and not a conspirator. There is a lot to understand and feel from their point of view and it also helps to move them into the New with a different role. More of a guide. If you can feel the growth and hard-earned transformation than take the time to celebrate that and be grateful for it all.

Next you can project into the next decade and see what version of ‘You’ comes to your awareness. What would this person look and feel like if this current INventory was healed and integrated? That Self is a beacon and a guide as well. What would they have you do and feel each and everyday to embody them in those moments. Not by force but by care. It will still be challenging because that is when you know you are facing the edges of your fear and it is confronting that fear that transforms you and permits the embodiment of this future self.

As always, there is help and support along the way. I wouldn’t be here without it. So when you feel that need, seek it wherever it feels the most aligned to who you are in that moment. There is a sea of Love out there ready for your courage to take the journey even deeper.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.