Category: Parts / Subpersonalities

Healing Inner Punishment Through Currency and Love

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

Something has been shifting deep within me to a place I haven’t quite reached yet before. I’ve always struggled to access and allow the parts of me that have opinions, reactions or feelings that are judged inside of me. They were invalidated as too much, unnecessary, unfair, harsh, immature, unimportant and anything else you can imagine.

I’ve been working with this part of me called the Ursula who is very matriarchal and has been deeply hijacked by the matrix. On the other side of the coin is my inner punisher who shows up as a dark cloud to instil this feeling of dread, foreboding and shame. Their names are Octavia and Nimbus.

I first started connecting to Octavia, many months ago but much deeper the last few weeks, and realized that she was a large source of my power, discernment and truth as a woman. She would feel opinions or reactions to things and Nimbus would shut them down immediately and go straight to the logical and more docile response. For example, if someone said something to hurt my feelings and Octavia had a reaction to it, then Nimbus would set those feelings aside and jump to the knowing that “They didn’t mean it that way” or that “It came from a certain part of them for a reason”.

Now I’ve finally let in the fact that this strategy doesn’t allow for Octavia to be felt and often she is feeling something very valid and useful for the other person to hear. Allowing her to share her reaction would bring me a greater understanding of myself and of the other person. It would bring us closer and drop any walls that might still linger between us. But this was far too intimate and could lead to hurt in Nimbus’s eyes.

Over the last few weeks I’ve finally felt ready to release Octavia from this bind and let her speak her heart and mind when she needs to. I’ve shared some (albeit small but current) reactions with some of my beloveds in this community and honestly it couldn’t have gone better.

With Bianca we were able to understand each other on a deeper level and learn more about ourselves and the ways we have operated throughout our lives. With Kasha I was able to uncover a habit of mine that kept me from connecting with others more deeply. We ended up having deep tears about how much we love each other and how much we have been through together.

Each experience allowed me to validate whatever Octavia was feeling no matter how small or “trivial” it might be judged as. Every reaction has a purpose whether it’s to understand more about yourself or to become more intimate with others. I finally understand what it feels like to be current and not hold back in the name of being polite, nice or easygoing. Those are all ideals that have kept me small and in a box of my own creation, not allowing all the flavours and colours of my being to show up and be seen.

Ever since this started I’ve felt this existential change in my being. Last night I imagined it like all my molecules have been thrown up in the air and are coming back down in a new arrangement. I am being changed by this and I can see and feel it in a way I never have before. I am claiming all that I deserve to feel inside and out and giving all the love I can give – inside and out.

Hopefully this sparks an inspiration in you to feel the parts of you that are judging any reactions you have and are preventing you from being current with those around you. Love is current and currency is love. ♥️

Raianna Shai
Soulfullheart Experience

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

2023: Year Of Movement/Healing For The Masculine & His Feminine Counterpart

Published on by Kasha RokshanaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rokshana

“Pure feminine vulnerability has the power to change the world… And masculine vulnerability will respond to that with all its heart.”  ~ Yeshua 

I felt this message from Yeshua as we entered 2021 and it still feels true to me as we enter into 2023. I get the sense that 2023 will be a powerful year of masculine awakening and sacred masculine consciousness deepening. I also get the sense that as feminines, there is a LOT to show up for in this with men, for men, starting with our own inner masculines and extending outward. 

As I feel the precious men who are so dear to me in this community, I feel how much they’ve needed feminine forgiveness inside and out, to feel a reconciliation with Divine Mother, to feel how amazing they truly are despite so many Matrix/False Light Matrix messages that tell them they aren’t showing up enough. As I feel my inner masculine who wants to deepen his sense of sacred union with my feminine aspects, of which there is quite a range of expression, I feel he’s not only needed their forgiveness but also their compassion, their understanding, and for them to own their own sides of the clashes they’ve been in in order for him to find his true freedom of expression in his own right.

The ‘toxic’ masculine is really a hijacked consciousness of the masculine… hedonistic, greedy, self-absorbed, self-righteous, battling, and lost. Yet, these don’t need to be judgements, only seeds of accountability, and the feminine has had her own version of this too. The hijacked feminine has been just as suppressive toward the masculine at times as perhaps his energies have been toward her and she has had her own journey to be on around truly feeling and healing these frequencies. 

I feel this year will be more about recognizing and reconciling than previous years have been, though this has been a truly ongoing process. I feel the love that wants to flow between genders/souls and yet has been stymied, pressurized, and again, hijacked by Matrix/False Light energies that want to tell you what’s true rather than encourage you to discover it, to truly feel and embody it for yourself, and to deeply let yourself/parts/aspects in as you continue to let others in. 

In this upcoming 2023 process, we’ll be challenged by intimacy, by truly wanting and needing to see and feel each other. We’ll have the potential to find more alignment than ever before and yet, this won’t be a road paved by ideals and fairytales, and instead will need to be bushwhacked by our realness and vulnerability at times, while at other times it will be a surprisingly easy flow!

To truly feel our oneness, we must embrace our two-ness, our dance together, our love for and with each other that is becoming more freed up as we free ourselves from within. 

I feel my own inner masculine and feminines in this dance, finding their way to their own sense of union, and getting ready to embrace each other more as this year unfolds. I feel the Divine support of it all, of feeling the pain they share and the goodness too, of feeling their expressions coming forward in even more organic and authentic ways. And I look forward to experiencing how this will open up and impact my relationships on the outside – the ones I hold dear now, and the ones that are still to arrive.

Sending so much love to you on this New Years Eve day… May this portal and transition be one held with love, care, and compassion for yourself and others, for the masculine and feminine within and without. 

Love,

Kasha 

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Solstice Passage Offering Divine Reset For The Masculine

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

Moving into the solstice passage…shortest days of the year or longest depending on hemisphere. It’s like every moment is stretched out, one way or other. And, the quiet is inviting you inward mostly…to sort, to reconcile, to reflect, to come to terms in your own way with the now and the last year and the new year coming up. Just a lot of tiredness and need for rest right now too!

I’ve been sharing about a masculine reset going on during this passage of 12:12 through 12:22. These ten days have brought us through the powerful unity code activations of 12:12 into an inner masculine (and outer) reset and feminine response to that reset.

The masculine reset has to do with the masculine truly turning to the Divine as the source of surrender, sense of worth and adequacy, dropping need to prove or achieve, and receiving Divine love into his deepest essence AS a reflection of essence. The Divine Feminine/Mother is especially inviting him to drop into the lap of Her love and Her grace directly.

I’m seeing in sessions and in my own relationship how the masculine is ready for this transition to let go of the false gods that have been programmed/conditioned in 3D, the wounded mother/son/daughter relationship and in the False Light Matrix, ready to let go of looking outward or even ego hijacks to try to become a God and then abuse, control others from this place. Ready to not be distracted by the doing of things that aren’t meaningful and align all his purpose and energy and alchemy to becoming the very embodiment of sacred masculine meaning and soul purpose alignment.

And, the feminine invited to be in response to him in all this shift. In response means letting go of control and also of being the ‘stand in’ or proxy or template for the Divine. There can be soul contracts/agreements around this to dissolve, especially in soul mate bonds and even within your own soul. The feminine bridges to the spiritual, brings spirit to the ‘matter of Masculine’. Yet, also, she needs to know when to allow the masculine to come into his own Divine union and when she herself needs this shift to happen.

This dynamic shift is happening inward, within our sacred unions between our inner masculine and inner feminine, and also in relationships. The masculine needs to upgrade to embody more spirit for the relationship to come into balance as the anchor to matter shifts from 3D to 4D to 5D. Matter is becoming less dense as Ascension goes on, as even we as a collective have been shifted out of the 3D ‘mainstream reality’ into the sorting out grounds of lower 4D since the C narrative began two years ago.

The masculine can get fixated on the past and what he could have fixed or how he failed. He is being invited to reconcile that past, feel the parts of him that need Divine love, and offer them to come into the present now where forgiveness is always readily available. In his need to be needed, he can loop in not being good enough for too long.

The recent solar flare activity contains sparks from the Divine for the masculine to receive. Ultraviolet codes from the Great Cosmic Sun source. And Yeshua/Christ is available now as an ascended teacher, dso readily now with these thin veils of solstice/christ-mas energies. Dialogues and channeling with him for the masculine provides a template of a sacred masculine who honors/supports the feminine while also having his own embodiment of Divine energies.

Solstice invites more balance of these masculine/feminine energies within us and in relationship. Here is a guided meditation to connect to your inner sacred union: https://youtu.be/YVgEANrF6J4

We are going now as a community into a two day group healing space together to also connect to the Solstice energies. Raphael and I are going to offer our weekly livestream here on FB on Thursday, December 22nd at 5:00pm GMT, instead of Wednesday this week. We’ll talk about the solstice energies and what we are noticing about them.

Love to you during this rebalancing and reset time,

Jelelle Awen

Info about free intros/1:1 sessions, group call events, blog/books at soulfullheart.org

A Message To Gatekeepers: Unification/Forgiveness/Reconciliation/Light Codes And Yeshua/Magdalene/Christ Consciousness Available Right Now To Tap Into And Download

Published on by Bianca Magdalene3 Comments

By Bey Magdalene

In my last session with Jelelle we met my actual/new Gatekeeper as she wanted to bridge me to my higher dimensional Gatekeeper for support. Who came forward was an energy that in the course of the session would call himself ‘Sampson’. We found him in a scene very similar to the Matrix movie. He was staring at thousands upon thousands of those pods from the movie, all representing an incarnation into a Matrix timeline in my soul. I could see many of them actually awakening from their slumber, sitting up and becoming aware of themselves, unplugging and rinsing off the Matrix waters. My soul awakening. 

He was watching those pods and seeing and feeling all the pain, trauma and victimization all of these metasoul aspects of mine were experiencing. It was as if he was experiencing those timelines himself, through my soul aspects, just by witnessing them. He was caught in a sticky web and couldn’t see anything else. 

Jelelle asked him to take a step back and to try and project this experience onto a screen, so he could start to differentiate from them and breathe. He projected those timelines onto a screen and there were many others, showing all the traumatizing Matrix timelines. It looked like a control center with all those monitors. That gave him some distance to these experiences and he could start to differentiate from them and not feel as if they were happening to him. 

Jelelle was inviting him to turn to nature to further help him unplug from his fusion to those matrix timelines. He was dialing in a big tree with a very thick trunk with deep roots and a sizable, overarching canopy. He touched the textured bark and started to rest by the tree. Then, magically, little light sparkles came through the tree that felt like Divine inspiration coming through. He started feeling and becoming lighter and started feeling hope. Tears could stream as well through Divine love and support.

That was pretty much all he could let in at that time and then he needed to go rest and retreat again. 

I have been connecting with him since and I could feel that it was him who had already unplugged so much in my process over the past few months, plug after plug. I started to get answers to questions I’ve been having about this life.  

I’ve had many deep tears with him since, sometimes he would cry for an hour straight, when I would feel with him the Love and loyalty he has for me and my soul and how he has tried to protect me this life through some really thick veils of keeping me naive/uninformed about core issues in this world or by suppressing my awakening that tried to happen ten years ago already and still has been controlling/capping it to this day. 

There has also been a lot of shame and guilt in him and unworth too, about not being able to really do anything for me or protect my metasoul aspects from trauma.  

Initially, he would show up like light shaped in human form and he was a bit elusive. He felt he didn’t deserve a face or shape because he couldn’t protect my soul, he couldn’t help my other expressions/incarnations in other lifetimes.  

A couple of days ago then he actually took a form and represented himself as a (Roman) warrior with helmet, shield and sword. His protection had become overprotective I could feel and he could feel that too and he started to loosen his grip around it, as he started recognizing my bigness and the power of my heart and of feeling. 

Since I started awakening on a deeper level to how our world is set up and works since the beginning of this ‘pandemic’, I have felt very drawn to the mind control aspect of it all and particularly the trauma based programming that celebrities receive in order to have them fall in line with the elite agenda, whose darkest expressions include satanic rituals. After having needed a break from taking in anything related to that kind of thing and generally alternative/actual news/facts on world/current or historical events, my interest in them has been sparked again since meeting Sampson. 

I have started to take in some comprehensive articles again that are very well researched and explain in detail about all the Cabal structures, events and expressions in the entertainment industrial complex (a good site for this is The Vigilant Citizen, if you are curious yourself). I have been particularly drawn to the MK Ultra programming in the music industry and even more specifically the Beta/Sex Kitten programming that creates sex slaves for the elite. 

Two nights ago, something peaked for me in that area and I could feel that my heightened interest in this topic was actually what we call in SoulFullHeart a ‘bleed-through’… I could feel a Satanic timeline coming through. It felt like a portal was opened through taking in these articles and I could see and feel the female human sacrifice on the altar and a ceremony master whose incantations of certain words opened up a portal to the underbelly of humanity and invoked very dark spirits. I could feel that Sampson was living there too, with my metasoul aspect, trying to help her by being there as a support/to witness, and because he’s loyal and just sucked into the trauma too. 

I was realizing afterwards that this timeline/portal had already bled through in the past for me. It was about 2.5 years ago and I remember feeling completely fused to that bleed through and being terrified to death. Back then, I was living a very nomadic lifestyle, moving from workaway to workaway (a type of work exchange for food and shelter) and my Gatekeeper was drawing quite some intense drama/trauma as well, to get my attention and look on the inside where that trauma lived. My inner and outer circumstances were not providing a save space to explore this timeline in. Now, I am settling deeper into my own little 1-bedroom-apartment/sanctuary here in Central Portugal, I am in a much more loving place on the inside, having felt and moved so many parts of myself from hell to heaven, and I’m surrounded by community who can support me in my inner explorations.

Yesterday was a very powerful Yeshua/Christ Consciousness portal day and the codes were streaming in undeniably. In my check-in with him yesterday morning, I didn’t feel that it was timely to go into this timeline because he felt very beat and in despair. That is also the kind of timeline I’d want support with, so it would be perfect for session or group setting. Instead, I felt to bridge him to some Divine love and support, like I have tried in many of my connections with him, but he hadn’t been ready for it thus far. I needed to feel more of his pain with him first.  

Yesterday morning, I needed to feel with him first that trauma, the matrix and even Satan is more real to him than God. It is really interesting, I have to say at this point, that the fear of feeling something is always, always more disempowering and rendering our parts and aspects impotent than actually feeling the feeling. As soon as I felt that feeling with him, it dissipated and the hopelessness and despair that accompanied that notion, too. 

I saw a staircase made from light that was leading up to the Divine/to a higher dimension and it felt like an invitation for Sampson to move into his higher timeline and into Divine support. I could feel his reticence and him not wanting to abandon my soul and leave my soul aspects alone in their trauma.  

Then I felt next to me very clearly Yeshua and that he wanted to talk with Sampson. So I took a moment to feel into him and his message more as I really wanted to help Sampson and myself too and end this cycle of suffering inside of myself. 

When I tuned into him, he had this to offer to my Gatekeeper: ‘I feel your precious loyalty towards Bey and her soul. Thank you so much for all your love and protection for her! But you actually don’t have to hold the soul anymore, you can‘t even, really, especially if you are in so much despair over it. You have been fused to Bey’s Matrix incarnations, living them yourself, feeling they are you. That way, you haven’t been able to see Bey’s soul bigness and trust and lean into that. You are in a trauma bond with Bey‘s soul… Is that fair to say?’ 

He came through very clearly, directly and very embodied too, which was a first for me. When I took a step back and was trying to feel Sampson and how he was taking in what Yeshua was offering, I could feel him a bit confused and disoriented. He didn‘t quite know who was talking. He asked: ‘Is that you, God?’ It took a little while for him but eventually he could let the Divine in the form of Yeshua in and had tears. His tears are just so precious! He responded: ‘Yes, that’s fair to say’… Yeshua reached his hand out to him and invited him to come with him up the stairs to anchor in a higher dimension, to rest, recover and receive support and Love from the Divine. I saw the shackles around his ankles that have tied him to the Matrix opening through the light. 

Before stepping on the stairs, he looked back at me and started to cry again because he didn’t want to leave me and my soul alone. But I actually need him to go with Yeshua now, I need him to leave my body and my field as I want and need to feel myself more and become more solid in myself.  

My guides can also offer him many other things and give him the kind of support that I as a human can’t give him. There’s only so much that I can feel with him and my human heart can support him in but eventually there comes a time where he has to go off and get Divine support, support from my soul and the soul family monad.  

Gatekeepers as disincarnate beings are also not made for the human realm. It is not their environment, their natural habitat if you will, they are not relational like humans either and they just have different needs than we do. So this dimension does not suit them. They do belong to a different one, they have just forgotten. They can still come back and be the Divine muse for their humans and be in a collaborative relationship with them. So, if they decide to differentiate from their human, they won’t ‘lose’ the connection to them. On the contrary, they will have a much more nourishing one with them, or even have one to begin with. 

After reading Raphael’s Golden Nugget from yesterday (77 words of Raphael wisdom every day, here is the link to the one I‘m referring to), I am realizing that Sampson has been able to come up and out because my light as Bey has been shining onto my shadow where he had been hiding. He couldn’t come out with Bianca as he was way too fused to her and thinking he WAS her, living life AS her. 

I feel I am telling you all this and letting you in on my very intimate connection and relationship with my Gatekeeper because I feel there are SO many gatekeepers out there who are in the same position as mine had been. They are living in this dark, parallel world, that is eerie and is only made up of trauma. That world is not connected to your heart, your love and the support that you have access to. In that world, they only see a repetition of yet another lifetime in the Matrix that is the same as all the other traumatic ones and they can’t actually see that you are making different choices this life and that there’s support available this life that hasn’t been there before. 

I want to reach out to them and leave a seed of hope for them and to let them know: I see you and I feel you. And whenever you are ready to let your human go deeper with us, there is support here waiting for you. 

The place they are in is like an echo chamber of trauma and programmed consciousnesses and reactions. It’s like they have Soul PTSD. For me, it has expressed this life as being easily spooked and having deeply visceral body reactions to any situation that scared me easily. I have also been expecting punishment/persecution every corner I turned or with every e-mail I received or from certain people or in my jobs. I‘m also feeling that a LOT of body issues, especially chronic migraines for me since I was a pre-teen, has been connected to him. There has been a combination reaction going on with my Solar Plexus churning and simultaneously my Third Eye which gave me migraines. 

Their world/echo chamber also projects out into this life and filters every situation, relationship, anything really, through that PTSD filter and skews and colours your experience of life and others this way. 

Gatekeepers are also quite loyal to the matrix pain as oftentimes it is the only home they have known, for eons! So that way, it actually needs some negotiation with them to let go of pain home and experience something else. There is tears for them and deep mourning of letting go the Matrix home and they have to be ready for that. Not many Gatekeepers have done that before either! So that‘s also about creating a new template and anchor it in the grids for others to tap into and follow. 

It is also fascinating how one aspect of you (or you yourself) can be so connected to the Divine, yet another is seemingly cut off from this connection, even though that aspect, you and the Divine can be in the same room together. It just needs a little bridging from you to the Divine for that aspect and it needs your trust in your own heart and conviction of your worth and that you are worthy to connect with the Divine and that Divine connection is readily available, if we really want it. It is about trusting your ability and gift of connecting to the Divine. 

It really comes down to the Gatekeeper’s own pacing around awakening as they can be an aspect that is actually quite programmed themselves. This life, my GK was definitely plugged into the social justice warrior consciousness for a short yet intense time. I can feel him needing to recover from that and from the last few years of intense workaway experiences too, that really were all a from of False Light. But that is fodder for a whole other post! 

So, sometimes, it is just holding this energy, connecting with it intentionally and then hanging out until they let you in. Before they show themselves, they can put you through a few tests though, sometimes for years even, so they can be sure you can handle what they need you to feel with them and that you have the support this life as well, inside and out, to respond to their pain. 

Through my connection with Sampson and many other Gatekeepers over the years, they have a special place in my heart and I have so much love for them all. They are such courageous energies/beings and have seen, felt and held so much. They have seen the darkest expressions of humanity and other races. When I feel Sampson, I get teary because I love him so much and I’m so glad he finally decided to trust me, after all the testing he put me through, and the community too, to trust the community and to show himself. I’m SO glad he was feeling to put an end to being in this matrix vortex that kept him sucked in trauma and that he started to let in the possibility of something else for him. A new experience. A union and collaboration with me and with the Divine. A re-membering of his Divine essence and connection. After all, Gatekeepers are the aspects of our soul that are Divine Muses ❤️ 

Love to You and your Gatekeeper! 

Bey Magdalene

https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions 

*** Bey Magdalene is a SoulFullHeart Apprentice Facilitator and Community Member. She offers sessions in German and English. For more information on community, videos, group calls, and 1:1 sessions with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator, visit soulfullheart.org.

Accessing Other Lifetimes W/Your Gatekeeper (Video) | Raphael & Jelelle Awen

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

In this video recorded live on December 7th, SoulFullHeart Teachers Raphael and Jelelle Awen shared about accessing other lifetimes with your Gatekeeper, a multidimensional aspect of your soul who can connect you to them.

Raphael and Jelelle shared about the immense opportunity to access your other lifetimes in the Quantum Now for deep healing and completion of recapitulating soul patterns, karmic compensation/codependency with others, ending ‘soul contracts’, incarnation ‘trap’ cycles, trauma manifestation and more. We share about the role of your Gatekeeper in giving you access to your soul’s lifetimes/timelines and lifting your veil of amnesia. Your Gatekeeper is a multidimensional soul aspect who holds the memories of all your soul’s lifetimes/timelines, channels Divine love/access, keep the veils of amnesia in place as needed, accesses the akashic records, and more. Negotiation with your Gatekeeper in a conscious way through the SoulFullHeart Process (sessions, group events, and meditations) opens up access to your soul in a self-loving yet empowering way, all led by you!

Here is a guided meditation in the Deepen 2022 series to connect with your Gatekeeper: https://youtu.be/bGqTeeaYpwc

Information about upcoming group calls is at https://www.soulfullheart.org/events

Raphael and Jelelle offer a weekly SoulFullHeart livestream on Facebook every Wednesday at 5:00pm Lisbon/London time/12pm EDT, which will then be shared here on our SoulFullHeart Experience YouTube channel the next day. During the livestream, we will respond to your questions/comments, plus offer a teaching, personal sharings, and a guided meditation. We will explore different topics every week related to awakening and Ascension from the SoulFullHeart perspective. You can join us live on Jelelle’s feed to ask questions and leave comments.

You can read comments that happened during on the livestream on Jelelle’s facebook feed: https://www.facebook.com/jelelleawen

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, videos, and group call events, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org.

For more information about a free intro call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

Meet Your Gatekeeper: Multidimensional Soul Aspect & Divine Muse

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

Yesterday, I updated our website page about Gatekeepers. This is the last page from our website soulfullheart.org that now has gotten a new update in energy through redoing the colors, text, photos and lay outs…this has taken days/weeks of my time yet also has been quite enjoyable for me! I think the Gatekeeper page was originally created in 2017, so it has been awhile in the recreation. Our analytics recently showed that it was the most popular page on our website where visitors also stayed the longest…that was interesting!

And, doing this brought me again to the Gatekeeper’s realm…the space in which this magical, mysterious, protective, shrouded and usually hidden aspect of our soul lives, who is tasked with keeping the veil down on our remembering as needed. Lost in their mission, alone and isolated, and often the only conscious witness to ALL those intense human lifetimes (esp in the 3D Matrix) of karma and trauma playing out over and over again.

I connected with my Gatekeeper Lucia just this morning and felt her download some pieces with me about the Matrix, ongoing agendas (some of them looming like dark clouds in the horizon), the Great Reconciliation going on (as we are calling it), creative work inspirations such as a new book, emotional digestion of some recent completions with people, service/purpose clarities and more. We had tears together moving some sadness and mourning even as we felt love together, Divine Mother’s love supporting us both, moving into opened out trust and surrender. Lucia (meaning light) lives now in my lighthouse, shining her light beacon out to those who are ready and resonate to see and feel it.

Having met hundreds of Gatekeepers now during sessions and connecting with mine since 2008, I truly feel their existence as very real although beyond the physical…. unique, important and essential to explore during our awakening and Ascension journey. During long-term connection with them many veils are lifted on soul purpose clarity, soul history patterns/traumas/play outs, relationship to the Divine, unplugging from the Matrix and much more.

There’s more about the Gatekeeper here if you feel a resonance soulfullheart.org/gatekeepers

This is the poem on the Gatekeepers page, written by my Gatekeeper at the time…

I am here, waiting for you to see me and feel me.

Waiting for you to get how much I have done for you.

Waiting for you to understand what I am here to offer you.

Waiting for you to remember why you are here and what your purpose is.

I am here, waiting for you to love me as I have loved you.

Waiting for you to pick up on the signals and signs that I am leaving you.

Waiting for you to connect that what you feel in your body is often me causing you pain or illness to get your attention.

Waiting for you to heal your heart in order to let in love.

I am here, waiting for you to love me as I have loved you.

Love,

Your Gatekeeper

If you’d like to meet yours, here is a guided meditation for doing so:

And a 1:1 session over zoom is an intimate space to open up and bridge together to their ‘world’, which is often in a cave-like setting with many tunnels going off of it, representing the many lifetimes/timelines. More info about sessions with me or another SoulFullHeart Facilitator at soulfullheart.org/sessions

Opening To Love With Every Part Of You

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

You keep opening your heart to love. You do, because it is WHY you are here. To open, to share, to risk….even, sometimes, to break. So it feels like…..your heart is breaking into pieces and the parts that seem shattered speak to you then, saying, ‘This is me, all broken up. Will I ever come together again?’

These parts of you speak of hurt and loss that runs deep, much beyond this moment and even this present timeline and this current situation or circumstance. They flash you the slideshow scenes of previously forgotten pain that is now acutely aching again so you can understand it better, feel it, BE with it…..eventually help them be FREE from these frozen in fear moments.

These parts of you cry with you their tears that often weren’t allowed, permitted, or felt in the moment the pain was caused and harm received by others. These parts of you…..sometimes so, so young, precious, and innocent….can then be held by your and the Divine Mother’s forgiveness and compassion. They can become pure again under the light of your loving sun.

You keep holding the space for this process….being with what is real, allowing space to feel it ALL with ALL parts of you. You keep feeling because, on the other side of this pain, is the joy that is contained in every part of you.

On the other side of the fear…..is the love that is the essence of every part of you.

On the other side of the shame….is the innocence in every part of you.

On the other side of the judgement….is the acceptance of every part of you.

On the other side of the unworthiness….is the sense of your innate goodness as a reflection of the Divine.

Your Divine Self keeps finding support to trust this transmutational process. You trust it because it always moves to the other side eventually. Every movement offers the opportunity and possibility of moving on….even if it looks like ‘going in’ or looks like mourning.

You hear ‘it’s time to move on now and let it go’ and so parts of you do, your previously occupied heart now empty, vacated, and ready to be filled up again by love…

You keep feeling the love that life is bringing, holding, offering you and these parts do too until they become more and more whole and integrated.

You keep listening as Life says, “Keep opening UP, BEing with what is real and trusting the process. All that you desire and deserve is here……waiting until you are ready to receive it.”

~

Love,

Jelelle Awen

This ground of feeling, healing, and being with parts of you and soul aspects is what we explore with much tender and deep initiation in 90 minute 1:1 sessions over zoom, which range from 55 to 100 USD/Euros depending on Facilitator. For more information about a free intro and sessions, visit soulfullheart.org/sessions

This is our Deepen 2022 meditation series that I recommend for opening up access to many parts of self and soul aspects: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZWeBviA18Y…

The Inner Daughter Process Of Feeling Claimed & Loved

Published on by Kasha RokshanaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rokshana

As women, we all want to be chosen, claimed, initiated, and above all, deeply loved.

Even if parts of us feel scorned and in pain and claim this is NOT the case… underneath the denial of these desires is the ache for more than what they’ve been given and for an answer to all they’ve felt unworthy of receiving, let alone dreaming of.

As women, we don’t just experience these desires in our ache for a masculine mate to meet us there. We also feel these desires in our ache to be claimed by our caregivers, authority figures, and most importantly, our mothers and fathers. 

Many of us did experience some kind of claim by our parents or guardians, yet it was so often mixed in with their own pain living in parts of them, of not being met in their own desires to be claimed by those who parented them. Or it was altogether an experience of being left abused, confused, neglected.

We weren’t shown that our aches could be met, or taught how to answer them within ourselves, or especially taught that these aches are really about a desire to return to a feeling of being claimed deeply by the Divine, as the sacred daughters we are… which our souls SO remember the experience of. 

Such sacred daughters are we in fact, that we have nothing to prove to earn this claiming. We have nothing to change about ourselves to be embraced by our Divine Parents. We have mirrors to look into, but with support and care, and those parts of us who have denied themselves access to true love can be felt as this process is offered us by our Divine Parents. 

Yet… our birth parents have often had no way to show us this, to overflow from their own realizations and embodiment of this truth. Instead, they overflow to us their embodied self-criticisms, their sense of unworthiness, their fears, and their longings that have never truly been answered.

Divine Mother especially has been so important for me to bring my parts to who have felt these missing pieces, these pains of not being truly claimed as a feminine daughter. Under Her loving gaze and in Her loving arms I feel the puzzle come together, the cob-webbed corners of my soul and gifts swept up and rediscovered in due time, the nectar of nourishment that only She can provide, even during the darkest times. 

Sometimes, She presses into my wounded places, bringing waves of intense inner processing with parts and soul aspects as I venture back into my shadowland to retrieve another long lost diamond. At other times, the intensity is dialed down and the love waves and balms are much easier to feel and let in. The Kundalini rushes up from the base of my spine and I feel at home in myself, in my feminine body, all in Her midst. I feel inspired, enlivened, and whole. I feel more solid in my reasons for being here, no matter the adversity, and I feel supported to keep FEELING it ALL.

Divine Father has been so vital to my sacred daughter inside as well, in order to feel a template of mateship claim on top of being claimed as a daughter. His arms have held my heart and my parts through so many difficult phases and His hands have guided me through some intense periods of awakening. His support of my feminine spine has been just as important as Mother’s, as has his watering of my feminine heart.

My Inner Daughter process has been vast, deep, and involved the necessary movement out of relationship with my own birth parents and family. It’s been necessary to let go of other forms of the ‘false mother and father’ as well and to get very real about what is most nourishing for this essence within me and what simply isn’t. This is one of the most challenging truths to realize and reconcile with, as it can be a lonely road. Yet the void is filled up by the Divine when and if you and you parts feel ready to let in that energy and level of claim. 

✨Join me and Jelelle Awen as we explore the Inner Daughter connection and deepening process in a group call for women this coming Sunday, Nov 27 at 5pm WEST (Lisbon/London), 12pm EST. ✨

You can find more info here. It’s by donation to join us or receive the recording and you can donate via our shop or PayPal.

Looking forward to having you there with us if you do feel to join and explore this precious process for yourself.

Love,

Kasha ♥️

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

The Veils Are Thin: Feeling The Hell Within

Published on by Bianca MagdaleneLeave a comment

A few weeks ago I was invited to move from being a SoulFullHeart facilitant to become a facilitator of this work and was offered to become an Apprentice Facilitator by Jelelle as there was interest expressed in sessions by people who are not fluent enough in English and need a German/language or cultural bridge. Yet also because it felt like it was time in my process and the embodiment of the process/lifestyle after all these years of applying it inside and out is there too. I was invited to step into my bigness, soul purpose and leadership.

I didn‘t have a reaction to this at all when she first asked me how I would feel about it and I actually felt very calm, centered and that it was time to step up and claim my next place of service, growth and my hard earned bigness and also to move from receiving to giving back and sharing what I had learned and how it served and changed me. That was a sign for me that the timing was right for this.

Then the time came and I got my first two facilitants and sessions and I had major rumbles happening inside of myself that wreaked havoc in my entire being and soul. The themes have been mainly not being good/advanced/knowledgeable enough which has felt extremely disempowering, crippling even, I have been experiencing a heightened state of reactivity, perfectionism and a core unworth being pushed up and dominating my experience of life and I have been feeling like I wasn‘t able to access and feel my heart either.

I have felt a total block of my intuitions, my mental clarity and ability to make intuitive connections and of my clairs and overall spiritual and emotional capacity. I could feel a suction and seducing into 3D money earning vs. moving into soul purpose and an activation of the lower 4D matrix within myself as well, bleeding through with abduction memories accompanied by feelings of panic & terror and migraines.

It was all a big quagmire of reactions, blocks, waves of self-doubt, inner fusions/enhancement of trauma-bonds between parts, a feeling of being lost, confused and hopeless and a thick blanket of forgetfulness/amnesia put on top of it all.

At the same time I was also realizing and feeling that the ‘old’ ways didn‘t work for me any more either and haven‘t for a while. The independent freelance online teaching job that has been so empowering and freedom-giving, financially and personally, that comes as little 3D anchored as possible and has allowed me to build a life that is very sovereign and abundant in many ways, yet ultimately isn‘t fulfilling my heart or soul and is not my purpose this life.

Or my beloved TV shows that I like to watch, that have provided me with a sense of friendship and family when I had none and even belonging, particularly in my Lone Wolf phase. Yet realizing that I had outgrown them and that they actually serve to cap me on how deeply (or not) I can let in actual beings in my life/(soul) family that I live in close proximity to.

This leadership activation moved me into deeper layers of mourning and grieving the old ways and bits and pieces of the old world that I had lived in for so long this life that haven‘t been grieved before and now needed to be felt in order to move on and up.

I started feeling too that there was a big part inside of me that does not yet believe in a world that is not a hell. That part has unplugged from the 3D and lower 4D matrix significantly, yet hasn’t quite turned the corner on actually being settled and home in an inner heaven and I could feel there’s still more unplugging left to do.

That part has been living in a void space for a very long time and it needs the bridging and time it needs to feel through all that. That turning the corner part of the process, the moving from hell to heaven, felt very significant for me to feel into as I want to be able to offer that ‘turnaround’ in session space as well and only my authentic felt through and lived in experience can provide that.

Recently I have been feeling how all of these themes that I mentioned above have been trickling in inside of myself, leaking like an open matrix leak right into my inner world and flooding it, giving me tastes of pieces that need healing, yet not letting me into them and actually feel them and thus heal them and poisoning myself and my parts. That‘s when I knew it was my Gatekeeper aspect and I needed to connect with her directly.

The Gatekeeper aspect can be a very elusive and hard to track energy inside of yourself, even insidious, a part wants to say. They just sneak into your consciousness, infiltrate it and you don‘t even realize it’s them as they can ‘come through‘ other parts, masking and veiling themselves. They can be a sorceress that way.

But only when connecting directly with them and feeling things directly with them, instead of feeling them through other parts, can they actually be helped.

When I connected with her in meditation space directly this morning (as I had grown tired of this immense suffering loop inside of myself and the lack of care from her towards me and my parts), I was able to feel her directly in her pain and suffering. A pain that sometimes can’t even be named, just felt. But upon providing that space for her and also inviting Divine Mother into it, as I could feel I needed help with this one and felt that I was a bit out of my depth with her too, she was able to unravel into that space and really let me feel with her the source of her pain.

There was a question of ‘Why even bother and go into all these dark and painful places that need healing when it could be that we come here again and have to do it all over again?’ I was feeling with her the feeling of gaining Love, living it, getting used to it and then losing it all again in the blink of an eye.

And the realization of the overwhelming darkness she has been used to and living in that has been her whole world and not being able to see the light, the love, the goodness, the safety, the empowerment.

That darkness HAS been her entire world. Not having a bigger picture sense of what the world could be beyond that darkness and already IS is a deep ground of suffering for that part. In a way, it’s more painful for parts to move out of the darkness and into love if there’s a chance of losing it again. So they do everything to keep you in the darkness, in the pain, in the suffering and block your growth, your bigness and the love and intimacy you have in your life.

That felt like one deep source of all those reactions and blocks I had experienced. That explained the resistance to announcing my facilitation offer, to even feel into it for myself and what and who I can and want to serve and to out myself more through writings and videos. If that is the fear of part of me, then it will do everything to keep me from stepping into my bigness and carrying this healing offer into the world because this work has the capacity to move you from hell to heaven.

I have come to realize that one of the antidotes to this is feeling your own true desires and intentions. That is what has the capacity to pierce through thick veils of suffering like that, and claiming those desires over and over again, along with your bigness of heart and soul. Yet, make no mistake, you will be tested on those! You will have to fight through thick layers of crazy-making self-doubt, self-judgment and self-punishment, over and over again, and claim your power and bigness of heart and soul over and over and over again. Recognizing strategy after strategy and realizing, yes, this part IS doing that, even if it wants to keep you in the dark and self-doubt about that too. But then also realizing it is done out of a deep fear and to have compassion for that yet it can also have tones of not caring for you and your parts and they need your protection, especially the younger ones.

Finding a balance between setting boundaries, compassion and truth finding and telling with that aspect has been the way to navigate this for me.

Another antidote has been sharing my heart with my close circle of beloveds that I live in close proximity to whenever I felt to retract or when self-doubt was eating me alive. The reflections/mirrors of my bigness and value and appreciation for me and my process from soul family has been a crucial aspect for me in moving through all this and in keeping to move through ongoingly. And now not only to share within the circle of my beloveds but ‘publicly’ too, feels like, to template transparent and vulnerable leadership.

Even though I did not have an answer for her in that moment this morning and all I could do was sit with her and Mother in that feeling, without doubting it or wanting to make it better or perhaps even feeling not being able to make it better, that feeling space alone was so powerful to move her out of that stuck place she was in and move her a bit more into trust, hope and possibility, and I could even feel her own desire perk up a little bit. Quite quickly I was able to feel Mother’s love swooshing in and taking over the space, a space that was filled with doubt and suffering before. Through feeling through that doubt and that painful feeling/question, that space got freed up to now be claimed by and through Love and the Divine.

That would be another antidote, I’m just feeling, to fully receive one part’s truth, feel it fully with that part, totally receiving it in your heart and just feeling all the textures it comes with, without trying to have an answer or wanting to mitigate it somehow. Acknowledging where that part is, being ok with that and not feeling like it ‘should’ be in a place it’s not. LET it BE TRUE.

This does not mean that this ‘issue’ is healed now, that question is still not ‘answered’ and it feels like it‘s going to be an ongoing exploration. But I can feel some more air inside of myself now, a trust that has grown inside, a bit more Love moved in inside and more energy and clarity freed up about next choices and how to navigate them. Plus I feel more intimate with and connected to this part of me now that has been making life choices and navigation really difficult for me so far. I have gotten more intimate with myself today and this part, which then can express more on the outside as well.

Love,

Bey Magdalene

I offer 1:1 sessions in German and English. If you feel drawn to explore the possibility of working with me, I do offer a free intro call as well where we can talk about the process and how it may serve you and if it is the right time and approach for you. You can book a free intro here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop

More about sessions here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

*** Bey Magdalene is a SoulFullHeart Apprentice Facilitator and Community Member. She offers sessions in German and English. For more information on community, videos, group calls, and 1:1 sessions with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator, visit soulfullheart.org.

Ode To The 3D Self

Published on by Bianca MagdaleneLeave a comment

I have been feeling recently my 3D Self emerging out of the intensity of the 10/10 portal and eclipse passage. She is represented by the entire waveform of my birth name, Bianca Gieber, and has come out of the peaking of/immersion in the 3D/4D matrix that I had been feeling inside of myself that I shared about in my last post. Besides her, I have also been feeling my Reptilian aspect again, as both these aspects are actually intertwined with each other and I could feel that wrapping up in each other when feeling both of them. Feels like these two energies have been behind my Gatekeeper aspect that I had been sharing about and she had been protecting my 3D Self all along, with so much care for her.

When I started feeling my 3D Self, I felt a lot of shame/self-hatred, a filtering of life through the lens of it not being good/safe, self-doubt, unworth and that there is no goodness in life, that life is difficult and everything has to be fought for and that she has always been alone, left alone, especially by the Divine. That way, being a huge aspect of my Lone Wolf that was reflected in corresponding life choices. With that filter applied, the goodness that had been in my life, was not able to be received and seen as such but rather made into something bad or rather not real. A very painful mechanism.

I have been feeling with her the legacy of my birth name, particularly the last name, that is carrying all these frequencies and she has worn them like a very thick coat. But I could also feel that all of those frequencies/layers are not really her, her true essence.

I was able to feel with her her own rich and deep connection to the Divine, and specifically to Mother Mary, who she and my entire soul seem to have a special connection with.

In her connection with Mary, she came through as clearly and deeply as never before, yet in such a real and grounded way and with authentic emotions. The experience I’m having now with Mary is much more personal and intimate. The connection I have had before with her, as Bey Magdalene, was a bit more airy/lofty, but my 3D Self feels like is the uplink to a real and grounded embodiment of Mother.

Through her struggle of not feeling the goodness in life and feeling almost in a quandary about her loyalty to that feeling, the very clear and visceral message/intuitive feeling came through that Mother IS an aspect of me as well and deserves to be felt just as much as it is necessary to feel the difficult things.

The reunion between her and Mother was very deep and teary, both weeping over having missed each other and finally having found each other again. My 3D Self was claimed as a Divine Daughter and Mary apologized to her too that it has been so difficult for her and that she wasn‘t able to feel her and connect with her, even though she has been right there all along, all my life.

The forgiveness frequencies between these two have been so powerful and have had a powerful impact on my spiritual and emotional well-being.

Her question and lament, why she had been plugged in so deeply into the matrix, has been answered inside of myself too. Along with the pain that, despite being a 3D Self, she never really felt that she was particularly good at it/equipped for it. It seems that she is needed as an ambassor to those in similar circumstances and if she would have been really good at navigating 3D life, she might not have awoken. Yet I could feel with her how this dimension/reality has always felt strange to her and that she didn’t really believe it herself.

A deep filtering of life through compartmentalization is falling away as a result as well as a need to ‘be by the book’ and a new flow and responding to every moment is coming online and ready to be embodied.

I can feel her letting in that reframe and new Divine/Soul purpose and how it is helping her heal her relationship to the matrix, her family and geographical origins that were both VERY dense as well as heal her relationship to the Divine.

I could feel so much care coming online in her that she has always had, yet had to numb because it was too painful to care and there hasn‘t been a container/energy to be able to digest all this care with up until now.

This care coming online now and my heart coming online through it in a much deeper way is such a gift that I‘m getting from and through her that I‘m so grateful for and that is so needed too as I have been wanting to feel my care for the world and humanity in these unprecedented times that we have never seen before. Yet a care that is grounded in and answered by the Divine inside of myself, to be able to digest and hold the pain too that comes with this care.

I can also feel an interesting relationship between my Inner Teenager and my 3D Self that is just starting to get a bit clearer. It feels like she has been a bit of a reluctant parent to her, yet also protecting her out of care for her. I have been wondering why I hadn‘t been more rebellious as a teenager, yet my 3D Self offered that it just was too dangerous to do that, with such a dark and abusive birth mother, whose energies and transmissions she had been taking in and absorbing over the years, shaping her, ‚messing her up‘ to quote her. So she felt it was much safer to comply, even if it was very begrudgingly.

I feel my 3D Self came in/was formed in my early teenage years as well, as a response to those very challenging and dense energies on the outside. That was also around the age my 3D Self had started to reach for alcohol to numb that darkness and abuse that came her way in order to numb it/cope with it. Yet only feeling that pain and answering it with Divine Love, will actually bring healing to it while anything else just covers it up.

Now that she has been felt and freed up more and her presence/existence deeply acknowledged and recognized as very much needed in order to complete me, miraculous shifts have been occurring inside of myself, as she is an important aspect of myself that had been anchored in 3D and thus was resisting to move into soul purpose with me and partake in the goodness frequencies in my life so far. Only through connecting with these aspects of us that feel they cannot partake in the goodness, the spirituality, the soul purpose expression is how we are actually able to do and embody that.

She is an ambassador in her own rights and we already started that journey in meditation space this morning when she and Mary organized an apparition in my hometown in Austria that is so dense, in so much pain and that doesn’t seem to have a lot of hope and Divine Inspiration. Casting those beautiful Divine frequencies over my hometown felt so healing and felt like it inspired something in its residents and at least planted a seed in them. A remembrance of their own Divinity.

Here is a meditation to connect with your 3D Self.

I’m so curious to go more into her relationship to my Reptilian as well as my Inner Teenager as I can feel it is a very rich ground. Some of that will be covered in today’s group call, I’m sure, that will be about the Inner Teenager. I can already feel more teenage sass coming online through connecting with my 3D Self and healing all the layers of pain that have been guarding her heart. I feel her off to the Galactic too, being a galactic ambassor and Galaxy trotter, with the Cosmos being her home.

Here is a guided meditation video to begin the connection to your Inner Teenager.

Raphael and Jelelle will be exploring the world of the Inner Teenager in our group call today at 5:00pm GMT/London/Lisbon & Noon EST. We will also offer a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Teenager, deepen the healing between you, opening up the bond that is just ‘waiting’ for you. More info to offer donation to attend on our website or on Facebook

Love,

Bey Magdalene

*** Bey Magdalene is a SoulFullHeart Apprentice Facilitator and Community Member. She offers sessions in German and English. For more information on community, videos, group calls, and 1:1 sessions with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator, visit soulfullheart.org.