I Cannot Make You Grow With Me, Only Invite You To Come Along: Navigating Relationships During Awakening

By Jelelle Awen

I cannot make you grow with me, only invite you to come along………’Shrinking to fit’ in relationships with others is one of the biggest ways that we can cap our soul bigness and keep our hearts more closed related to transacting intimate love with ourselves, others, and the Divine. These shrinking dynamics happen when parts of us conform to others expectations, ideas, and roles about who we are rather than being who we really are.

Instead of shrinking to fit to maintain the ‘old’ and comfortable ground of transaction, we begin to stretch and challenge that ground as we awaken and heal into more expression of our authentic self. I am seeing in sessions lately that this realization of shrinking to fit is especially happening during this time of Covid, political polarization, Matrix disclosure/collapse etc. as souls wake up to a deeper truth beyond what they have been programmed to believe.

As you share this dawning truth with your family, mate, and friends, there can be quite a backlash, vilification, and even completion of relationships as the dissonance of consciousness can’t find ground to transact any longer. The previous contracts/agreements of you holding the ‘black sheep’ or ‘healer for the family line’ or ‘mate that is awakening ahead of the other’ etc. have now been outgrown and run out of ground.

This can be a very painful process of loss and completion for parts of you, especially the Inner Teenager and Inner Child, with much opportunity to feel the deeper aspects of ourselves that were being mirrored and projected in the relationship onto the other person or people. Much shame can come up in parts when they are judged harshly by previous beloveds. Sometimes parts of you may feel like convincing, proving, and tugging on them to get them to ‘see’ what you do as a form of protection and fear to loss the bond.

Inviting the souls in your life to ‘come along with you’ as your soul awakens comes from an energy of self love and trust. You are trusting that whatever happens will be held by love for both of you. You are moving beyond previous contracts and agreements and into new arising grounds of love beyond them. You are leading with what your soul desires for yourself while letting go of that you know what that choice should be for another person. You are setting a clear boundary about how you want to be seen and treated and advocating that you ultimately require resonance in your relationships.

This can be very challenging to inhabit until you have negotiated with the parts of you inside that struggle to let go of control, fear, and attachment in relationships. You can only invite others into and with a loving, clean, and pure energy if you are inviting yourself and all your aspects into this ground of exploration. So as you experience it inside, so then can you naturally then invite others into it as well.


Jelelle Awen

We go into these grounds of inner discovery around relationships to feel what mirrors are being offered by them from within you and possible soul themes/patterns/karmic compensations going on as well during 1:1 sessions over zoom. This ‘inside out’ approach and way of feeling it allows for more authentic arising self worth and self containment and digestion of previous trauma from relationship experiences as well, creating more ‘room’ and breathing from within. More information about sessions at soulfullheart.org/sessions

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