If You’re Miserable In Paradise…

“Wherever you go, there you are” ― Jon Kabat-Zinn

By Jillian

I’m feeling blessed to be in a natural paradise on a warmish, sunny day in May. I’m on Gabriola Island, a remote feeling island off the coast of British Columbia, Canada that is only a 30 minute ferry ride from Vancouver Island yet feels like a world away from the hustle bustle of the lower mainland. In March, Wayne and I decided to rent a cottage here and divide our time between being here and our condo in North Vancouver.

It was a decision based on desire, not practicality, although we trusted that the financial means and the lifestyle changes would work themselves out if we followed our hearts. It was a decision from our souls with both of our daemons urging us to claim this piece of “paradise” where they could unplug from the frenzied and full grids of a metropolitan area and breathe in the quiet, natural beauty, and lighter population base.

We were following our growing desire and clarity to offer our SoulFullHeart work and felt that being away from it all would inspire our creativity, alchemy, and codification of this work. Oh, and it has! While being here, I’ve designed most of our website soulfullheart.com, received the name SoulFullHeart and our slogan, “Become Who You Were Meant To Be”, have placed an ad for SFH in the local paper, and we both find that writing comes fluidly and easily here. Wayne and I have both felt significant movements with our daemons here- feeling the transition for us to offering SoulFullHeart as our main source of income and passion work. We’ve also been synchronistically blessed to be offering our SoulFullHeart work to the couple we rent the cottage from here on Gabriola.

So, for us, this place is paradise.

Yet, for many people who live in places such as this one, it doesn’t feel like they live in paradise; instead it feels like they live in hell. If they are unhappy, struggling, and miserable in their lives, the physical location doesn’t impact this emotional reality. This is the wisdom inherent in the saying, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

Although you might feel temporarily relieved and even inspired by a beautiful outdoor surrounding, the deeper feelings that you’ve subconsciously buried will bubble up and express eventually. Also, many of the parts of you that are in pain and suffering aren’t in this physical reality and time anyway. They are stuck in a time and place that captures their deepest cause of wounding and don’t feel much improvement or relief from settings or environments, even if they have favorite places to be. There are definitely environments that can help you feel yourself more; that are free from toxicity and negative associations. However, the environment alone can’t offer healing at the deeper subconscious levels where the source of your pain lives.

This is why unhappy couples on vacation may only temporarily relieve the state of discontent and resentment between them before it explodes into fighting, contention, and disagreement. As much as they would like the trip to paradise to alleviate and dissipate all their issues, the truth is that the reprieve is temporary at best and their issues merely follow them there.

Similarly, this is why you can go to a place to attend a “healing retreat” for a brief period of time and feel temporary movement from it. Yet, long lasting transformation may not accompany such a sojourn away from your daily routine. True transformation happens when it becomes your daily life, when your sense of yourself comes from within, and when parts of you have been felt in the realities where they emotionally live. It can be confusing, baffling, and even shameful to feel that you’re miserable in paradise. Yet, this is a reflection of your emotional reality and it’s difficult to deny or escape from for long.

Any physical place can feel like paradise when your sense of paradise comes from within yourself and then is reflected outward. When you truly and deeply love yourself from the worthiness place that arises through feeling these wounded parts inside you, you’ll be more naturally drawn to gorgeous places, yet you don’t need them in order to feel life is good, blessed, and beautiful.

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