Category: SoulFullHeart Healing Process

Healing Inner Punishment Through Currency and Love

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

Something has been shifting deep within me to a place I haven’t quite reached yet before. I’ve always struggled to access and allow the parts of me that have opinions, reactions or feelings that are judged inside of me. They were invalidated as too much, unnecessary, unfair, harsh, immature, unimportant and anything else you can imagine.

I’ve been working with this part of me called the Ursula who is very matriarchal and has been deeply hijacked by the matrix. On the other side of the coin is my inner punisher who shows up as a dark cloud to instil this feeling of dread, foreboding and shame. Their names are Octavia and Nimbus.

I first started connecting to Octavia, many months ago but much deeper the last few weeks, and realized that she was a large source of my power, discernment and truth as a woman. She would feel opinions or reactions to things and Nimbus would shut them down immediately and go straight to the logical and more docile response. For example, if someone said something to hurt my feelings and Octavia had a reaction to it, then Nimbus would set those feelings aside and jump to the knowing that “They didn’t mean it that way” or that “It came from a certain part of them for a reason”.

Now I’ve finally let in the fact that this strategy doesn’t allow for Octavia to be felt and often she is feeling something very valid and useful for the other person to hear. Allowing her to share her reaction would bring me a greater understanding of myself and of the other person. It would bring us closer and drop any walls that might still linger between us. But this was far too intimate and could lead to hurt in Nimbus’s eyes.

Over the last few weeks I’ve finally felt ready to release Octavia from this bind and let her speak her heart and mind when she needs to. I’ve shared some (albeit small but current) reactions with some of my beloveds in this community and honestly it couldn’t have gone better.

With Bianca we were able to understand each other on a deeper level and learn more about ourselves and the ways we have operated throughout our lives. With Kasha I was able to uncover a habit of mine that kept me from connecting with others more deeply. We ended up having deep tears about how much we love each other and how much we have been through together.

Each experience allowed me to validate whatever Octavia was feeling no matter how small or “trivial” it might be judged as. Every reaction has a purpose whether it’s to understand more about yourself or to become more intimate with others. I finally understand what it feels like to be current and not hold back in the name of being polite, nice or easygoing. Those are all ideals that have kept me small and in a box of my own creation, not allowing all the flavours and colours of my being to show up and be seen.

Ever since this started I’ve felt this existential change in my being. Last night I imagined it like all my molecules have been thrown up in the air and are coming back down in a new arrangement. I am being changed by this and I can see and feel it in a way I never have before. I am claiming all that I deserve to feel inside and out and giving all the love I can give – inside and out.

Hopefully this sparks an inspiration in you to feel the parts of you that are judging any reactions you have and are preventing you from being current with those around you. Love is current and currency is love. ♥️

Raianna Shai
Soulfullheart Experience

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

A Message To Gatekeepers: Unification/Forgiveness/Reconciliation/Light Codes And Yeshua/Magdalene/Christ Consciousness Available Right Now To Tap Into And Download

Published on by Bianca Magdalene3 Comments

By Bey Magdalene

In my last session with Jelelle we met my actual/new Gatekeeper as she wanted to bridge me to my higher dimensional Gatekeeper for support. Who came forward was an energy that in the course of the session would call himself ‘Sampson’. We found him in a scene very similar to the Matrix movie. He was staring at thousands upon thousands of those pods from the movie, all representing an incarnation into a Matrix timeline in my soul. I could see many of them actually awakening from their slumber, sitting up and becoming aware of themselves, unplugging and rinsing off the Matrix waters. My soul awakening. 

He was watching those pods and seeing and feeling all the pain, trauma and victimization all of these metasoul aspects of mine were experiencing. It was as if he was experiencing those timelines himself, through my soul aspects, just by witnessing them. He was caught in a sticky web and couldn’t see anything else. 

Jelelle asked him to take a step back and to try and project this experience onto a screen, so he could start to differentiate from them and breathe. He projected those timelines onto a screen and there were many others, showing all the traumatizing Matrix timelines. It looked like a control center with all those monitors. That gave him some distance to these experiences and he could start to differentiate from them and not feel as if they were happening to him. 

Jelelle was inviting him to turn to nature to further help him unplug from his fusion to those matrix timelines. He was dialing in a big tree with a very thick trunk with deep roots and a sizable, overarching canopy. He touched the textured bark and started to rest by the tree. Then, magically, little light sparkles came through the tree that felt like Divine inspiration coming through. He started feeling and becoming lighter and started feeling hope. Tears could stream as well through Divine love and support.

That was pretty much all he could let in at that time and then he needed to go rest and retreat again. 

I have been connecting with him since and I could feel that it was him who had already unplugged so much in my process over the past few months, plug after plug. I started to get answers to questions I’ve been having about this life.  

I’ve had many deep tears with him since, sometimes he would cry for an hour straight, when I would feel with him the Love and loyalty he has for me and my soul and how he has tried to protect me this life through some really thick veils of keeping me naive/uninformed about core issues in this world or by suppressing my awakening that tried to happen ten years ago already and still has been controlling/capping it to this day. 

There has also been a lot of shame and guilt in him and unworth too, about not being able to really do anything for me or protect my metasoul aspects from trauma.  

Initially, he would show up like light shaped in human form and he was a bit elusive. He felt he didn’t deserve a face or shape because he couldn’t protect my soul, he couldn’t help my other expressions/incarnations in other lifetimes.  

A couple of days ago then he actually took a form and represented himself as a (Roman) warrior with helmet, shield and sword. His protection had become overprotective I could feel and he could feel that too and he started to loosen his grip around it, as he started recognizing my bigness and the power of my heart and of feeling. 

Since I started awakening on a deeper level to how our world is set up and works since the beginning of this ‘pandemic’, I have felt very drawn to the mind control aspect of it all and particularly the trauma based programming that celebrities receive in order to have them fall in line with the elite agenda, whose darkest expressions include satanic rituals. After having needed a break from taking in anything related to that kind of thing and generally alternative/actual news/facts on world/current or historical events, my interest in them has been sparked again since meeting Sampson. 

I have started to take in some comprehensive articles again that are very well researched and explain in detail about all the Cabal structures, events and expressions in the entertainment industrial complex (a good site for this is The Vigilant Citizen, if you are curious yourself). I have been particularly drawn to the MK Ultra programming in the music industry and even more specifically the Beta/Sex Kitten programming that creates sex slaves for the elite. 

Two nights ago, something peaked for me in that area and I could feel that my heightened interest in this topic was actually what we call in SoulFullHeart a ‘bleed-through’… I could feel a Satanic timeline coming through. It felt like a portal was opened through taking in these articles and I could see and feel the female human sacrifice on the altar and a ceremony master whose incantations of certain words opened up a portal to the underbelly of humanity and invoked very dark spirits. I could feel that Sampson was living there too, with my metasoul aspect, trying to help her by being there as a support/to witness, and because he’s loyal and just sucked into the trauma too. 

I was realizing afterwards that this timeline/portal had already bled through in the past for me. It was about 2.5 years ago and I remember feeling completely fused to that bleed through and being terrified to death. Back then, I was living a very nomadic lifestyle, moving from workaway to workaway (a type of work exchange for food and shelter) and my Gatekeeper was drawing quite some intense drama/trauma as well, to get my attention and look on the inside where that trauma lived. My inner and outer circumstances were not providing a save space to explore this timeline in. Now, I am settling deeper into my own little 1-bedroom-apartment/sanctuary here in Central Portugal, I am in a much more loving place on the inside, having felt and moved so many parts of myself from hell to heaven, and I’m surrounded by community who can support me in my inner explorations.

Yesterday was a very powerful Yeshua/Christ Consciousness portal day and the codes were streaming in undeniably. In my check-in with him yesterday morning, I didn’t feel that it was timely to go into this timeline because he felt very beat and in despair. That is also the kind of timeline I’d want support with, so it would be perfect for session or group setting. Instead, I felt to bridge him to some Divine love and support, like I have tried in many of my connections with him, but he hadn’t been ready for it thus far. I needed to feel more of his pain with him first.  

Yesterday morning, I needed to feel with him first that trauma, the matrix and even Satan is more real to him than God. It is really interesting, I have to say at this point, that the fear of feeling something is always, always more disempowering and rendering our parts and aspects impotent than actually feeling the feeling. As soon as I felt that feeling with him, it dissipated and the hopelessness and despair that accompanied that notion, too. 

I saw a staircase made from light that was leading up to the Divine/to a higher dimension and it felt like an invitation for Sampson to move into his higher timeline and into Divine support. I could feel his reticence and him not wanting to abandon my soul and leave my soul aspects alone in their trauma.  

Then I felt next to me very clearly Yeshua and that he wanted to talk with Sampson. So I took a moment to feel into him and his message more as I really wanted to help Sampson and myself too and end this cycle of suffering inside of myself. 

When I tuned into him, he had this to offer to my Gatekeeper: ‘I feel your precious loyalty towards Bey and her soul. Thank you so much for all your love and protection for her! But you actually don’t have to hold the soul anymore, you can‘t even, really, especially if you are in so much despair over it. You have been fused to Bey’s Matrix incarnations, living them yourself, feeling they are you. That way, you haven’t been able to see Bey’s soul bigness and trust and lean into that. You are in a trauma bond with Bey‘s soul… Is that fair to say?’ 

He came through very clearly, directly and very embodied too, which was a first for me. When I took a step back and was trying to feel Sampson and how he was taking in what Yeshua was offering, I could feel him a bit confused and disoriented. He didn‘t quite know who was talking. He asked: ‘Is that you, God?’ It took a little while for him but eventually he could let the Divine in the form of Yeshua in and had tears. His tears are just so precious! He responded: ‘Yes, that’s fair to say’… Yeshua reached his hand out to him and invited him to come with him up the stairs to anchor in a higher dimension, to rest, recover and receive support and Love from the Divine. I saw the shackles around his ankles that have tied him to the Matrix opening through the light. 

Before stepping on the stairs, he looked back at me and started to cry again because he didn’t want to leave me and my soul alone. But I actually need him to go with Yeshua now, I need him to leave my body and my field as I want and need to feel myself more and become more solid in myself.  

My guides can also offer him many other things and give him the kind of support that I as a human can’t give him. There’s only so much that I can feel with him and my human heart can support him in but eventually there comes a time where he has to go off and get Divine support, support from my soul and the soul family monad.  

Gatekeepers as disincarnate beings are also not made for the human realm. It is not their environment, their natural habitat if you will, they are not relational like humans either and they just have different needs than we do. So this dimension does not suit them. They do belong to a different one, they have just forgotten. They can still come back and be the Divine muse for their humans and be in a collaborative relationship with them. So, if they decide to differentiate from their human, they won’t ‘lose’ the connection to them. On the contrary, they will have a much more nourishing one with them, or even have one to begin with. 

After reading Raphael’s Golden Nugget from yesterday (77 words of Raphael wisdom every day, here is the link to the one I‘m referring to), I am realizing that Sampson has been able to come up and out because my light as Bey has been shining onto my shadow where he had been hiding. He couldn’t come out with Bianca as he was way too fused to her and thinking he WAS her, living life AS her. 

I feel I am telling you all this and letting you in on my very intimate connection and relationship with my Gatekeeper because I feel there are SO many gatekeepers out there who are in the same position as mine had been. They are living in this dark, parallel world, that is eerie and is only made up of trauma. That world is not connected to your heart, your love and the support that you have access to. In that world, they only see a repetition of yet another lifetime in the Matrix that is the same as all the other traumatic ones and they can’t actually see that you are making different choices this life and that there’s support available this life that hasn’t been there before. 

I want to reach out to them and leave a seed of hope for them and to let them know: I see you and I feel you. And whenever you are ready to let your human go deeper with us, there is support here waiting for you. 

The place they are in is like an echo chamber of trauma and programmed consciousnesses and reactions. It’s like they have Soul PTSD. For me, it has expressed this life as being easily spooked and having deeply visceral body reactions to any situation that scared me easily. I have also been expecting punishment/persecution every corner I turned or with every e-mail I received or from certain people or in my jobs. I‘m also feeling that a LOT of body issues, especially chronic migraines for me since I was a pre-teen, has been connected to him. There has been a combination reaction going on with my Solar Plexus churning and simultaneously my Third Eye which gave me migraines. 

Their world/echo chamber also projects out into this life and filters every situation, relationship, anything really, through that PTSD filter and skews and colours your experience of life and others this way. 

Gatekeepers are also quite loyal to the matrix pain as oftentimes it is the only home they have known, for eons! So that way, it actually needs some negotiation with them to let go of pain home and experience something else. There is tears for them and deep mourning of letting go the Matrix home and they have to be ready for that. Not many Gatekeepers have done that before either! So that‘s also about creating a new template and anchor it in the grids for others to tap into and follow. 

It is also fascinating how one aspect of you (or you yourself) can be so connected to the Divine, yet another is seemingly cut off from this connection, even though that aspect, you and the Divine can be in the same room together. It just needs a little bridging from you to the Divine for that aspect and it needs your trust in your own heart and conviction of your worth and that you are worthy to connect with the Divine and that Divine connection is readily available, if we really want it. It is about trusting your ability and gift of connecting to the Divine. 

It really comes down to the Gatekeeper’s own pacing around awakening as they can be an aspect that is actually quite programmed themselves. This life, my GK was definitely plugged into the social justice warrior consciousness for a short yet intense time. I can feel him needing to recover from that and from the last few years of intense workaway experiences too, that really were all a from of False Light. But that is fodder for a whole other post! 

So, sometimes, it is just holding this energy, connecting with it intentionally and then hanging out until they let you in. Before they show themselves, they can put you through a few tests though, sometimes for years even, so they can be sure you can handle what they need you to feel with them and that you have the support this life as well, inside and out, to respond to their pain. 

Through my connection with Sampson and many other Gatekeepers over the years, they have a special place in my heart and I have so much love for them all. They are such courageous energies/beings and have seen, felt and held so much. They have seen the darkest expressions of humanity and other races. When I feel Sampson, I get teary because I love him so much and I’m so glad he finally decided to trust me, after all the testing he put me through, and the community too, to trust the community and to show himself. I’m SO glad he was feeling to put an end to being in this matrix vortex that kept him sucked in trauma and that he started to let in the possibility of something else for him. A new experience. A union and collaboration with me and with the Divine. A re-membering of his Divine essence and connection. After all, Gatekeepers are the aspects of our soul that are Divine Muses ❤️ 

Love to You and your Gatekeeper! 

Bey Magdalene

https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions 

*** Bey Magdalene is a SoulFullHeart Apprentice Facilitator and Community Member. She offers sessions in German and English. For more information on community, videos, group calls, and 1:1 sessions with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator, visit soulfullheart.org.

Opening To Love With Every Part Of You

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

You keep opening your heart to love. You do, because it is WHY you are here. To open, to share, to risk….even, sometimes, to break. So it feels like…..your heart is breaking into pieces and the parts that seem shattered speak to you then, saying, ‘This is me, all broken up. Will I ever come together again?’

These parts of you speak of hurt and loss that runs deep, much beyond this moment and even this present timeline and this current situation or circumstance. They flash you the slideshow scenes of previously forgotten pain that is now acutely aching again so you can understand it better, feel it, BE with it…..eventually help them be FREE from these frozen in fear moments.

These parts of you cry with you their tears that often weren’t allowed, permitted, or felt in the moment the pain was caused and harm received by others. These parts of you…..sometimes so, so young, precious, and innocent….can then be held by your and the Divine Mother’s forgiveness and compassion. They can become pure again under the light of your loving sun.

You keep holding the space for this process….being with what is real, allowing space to feel it ALL with ALL parts of you. You keep feeling because, on the other side of this pain, is the joy that is contained in every part of you.

On the other side of the fear…..is the love that is the essence of every part of you.

On the other side of the shame….is the innocence in every part of you.

On the other side of the judgement….is the acceptance of every part of you.

On the other side of the unworthiness….is the sense of your innate goodness as a reflection of the Divine.

Your Divine Self keeps finding support to trust this transmutational process. You trust it because it always moves to the other side eventually. Every movement offers the opportunity and possibility of moving on….even if it looks like ‘going in’ or looks like mourning.

You hear ‘it’s time to move on now and let it go’ and so parts of you do, your previously occupied heart now empty, vacated, and ready to be filled up again by love…

You keep feeling the love that life is bringing, holding, offering you and these parts do too until they become more and more whole and integrated.

You keep listening as Life says, “Keep opening UP, BEing with what is real and trusting the process. All that you desire and deserve is here……waiting until you are ready to receive it.”

~

Love,

Jelelle Awen

This ground of feeling, healing, and being with parts of you and soul aspects is what we explore with much tender and deep initiation in 90 minute 1:1 sessions over zoom, which range from 55 to 100 USD/Euros depending on Facilitator. For more information about a free intro and sessions, visit soulfullheart.org/sessions

This is our Deepen 2022 meditation series that I recommend for opening up access to many parts of self and soul aspects: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZWeBviA18Y…

Allowing the Waves of Grief

Published on by Raianna Shai3 Comments

By Raianna Shai

Grief is a much bigger part of our lives and our emotional bodies than I think we realize. We don’t just grieve passed loved ones or the end of relationships. We grieve old versions of ourselves, nostalgic places, past habits, other lifetimes, the state of the world – really anything that is coming to an end. It’s also one of the most complicated and pushed away emotions we can have as humans.

It’s deep, existential, nonlinear and shows up when we least expect it. Everyone I know who has experienced the deepest versions of grief have described it as coming in waves. It crashes over you and suddenly you feel like you’re drowning. One day you’re the happiest you’ve been in a long time and the next you’re weighed down with an intense heaviness.

I know that grief is not exactly easy to feel but I also know what happens when it’s left unfelt. It harms us in our physically bodies through different aches and illnesses, it causes us to push down any emotion that comes up in fear that it will uncap all of the unfelt grief we’ve left bottled up and it can keep us from connecting to the deeper parts of ourselves that are beyond the grief.

Grief is deep but it does have another side. It is tender, real and honest. It shows us what we really care about and where our deepest fears and desires lie. It shows us so much truth and if truly allowed to come to the surface when it needs to – it can help us love deeper, trust more easily and stay current with every new emotion.

This has been the biggest emotion that I’ve felt this last month and though it’s been painful, it’s also taught me so much about myself and all the varied and important parts of me. It’s shown me that I can feel 50 emotions in one breath, 100 thoughts in each tear that falls from my eyes, a depth so vast it feels like I’ll never feel anything else.

And then I do. I keep moving, keep feeling, keep letting myself dive into this well of despair and come back out feeling even closer to these parts inside of me. Letting go of every hope and dream I’ve had and making way for new ones. In allowing these feelings to surface, I’m telling these parts of me that they are valid, real and loved. And that is where the healing really happens.

Pictured is me feeling real grief during a recent group circle with SoulFullHeart. The community support and love was huge for allowing myself to go to these depths

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Healing Division Within To Experience Soul Family Reunion Without

Published on by Kasha Rokshana3 Comments

by Kasha Rokshana

With so much polarity still moving in this Ascension process, gathering together as one can feel so out of reach. It can feel like there’s just no way to reconcile the differences we’re really coming to recognize between us.

It feels sometimes like there’s just so many mountains to climb in order to come back into alignment with ourselves, let alone with others. The inner polarities are just as real as the outer, if not even more real at times, with so much division happening between parts of us that are torn about next life choices and caught up in fear spirals as they imagine what could go wrong rather than lean into guidance, hope, and Divine trust.

What truly divides us as human beings on this ongoing journey we’re ALL a part of is the conflict that lives inside us which lays and maintains the foundation for outer conflict, the need to be right, the need to prove, and the push-pull relationship to life, love, and others around us. It’s the resistance to inner intimacy that creates resistance to outer intimacy… it’s the pull of how the Matrix lives inside of us, let alone how we’re impacted by it on the outside, that can create so much ongoing tension and pain.

The recent Autumn Equinox gathering that we had here in our growing community of SoulFullHeart is a powerful example of how moving through the inner polarities really does create a more intimate and flowing ground with others on the outside, with so much love and appreciation for our differences rather than a deep level of reaction. This is possible because of soothing and healing the inner edges between parts and soul aspects of us, validating their experiences instead of diminishing them, yet also challenging them to move beyond their experiences to let in something new inside and out.

This is possible because of a willingness to stay in the room with ourselves, gathering each part of us back into our hearts, reclaiming shadow and light at every turn, letting in how we impact each other in both good and uncomfortable ways and being willing to feel how all of that always stems from deep within…

Every single soul on this planet is a brave one just for being here. It takes a special brand of soul courage to take on the monumental challenge of polarized duality while on some level our souls, consciously or unconsciously, long for reunion and reconciliation back into oneness. Those who are willing to truly stay in the room with themselves, with a growing sense of undying Divine support and love to keep moving through everything there is to move through and feel, are the ones who know there’s so much more to glean from this whole Ascension process if we’re truly going to transform and evolve into the Sacred Humans we’re here to become and remember too that we always WERE.

I’m so grateful to have moved through so much inner tension and pain in order to be a part of this room I find myself in with soul family. And I’m so grateful to all the souls around me who share this journey and have experienced it so deeply themselves. Our gatherings are turning into soul family reunions in the flesh and I’m so looking forward to welcoming more souls to them in the future!

Our gatherings are an invitation to any soul who has been drawn to have 1:1 sessions with us and has been in sessions for a time. The virtual session space serves the healing of the inner pieces that need to be felt before the in-person space can open up as a possibility, but the invitation to reunite with us is always there! Now is a time of feeling this journey inside and out and making conscious choices to live in deeper resonance with self and with others, to feel empowered in that way and to live into our reasons for being here truly as one.

With much love and appreciation for your own ongoing journey of inner and outer reconciliation and healing,
Kasha

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

The Healing Of The ‘Matrix Masculine’

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

This past Equinox gathering of hearts and souls pushed up a lot for me that has roots deep in my soul. I also felt how it was connected to the collective as well. When that happens it can be a lot to sort and move through. Yet, this is why I am here. This is why my soul has guided me to be a part of an intimate community so that I can feel and heal what needs feeling and healing on a personal level, which in turn makes waves in the quantum world. 

After the completion of my sacred union relationship with Kasha, I found myself in a ‘doing’ mode that seemed to put a wall around my deeper grief. I have had tender moments of loss and remorse, but it was made clear that a part of me had a strategy to ‘avoid the void’ of the deeper grief that lives inside. There is a great separation wound that exists inside that I have skirted the edges of, thinking I have met it fully, when in fact I have been swimming in the shallow end of the pool to some degree. 

This is not a prescription for me to dive into the deep end willy-nilly, but rather to be aware of the territory and let it arise in its due course. My soul will know when I am ready. Alongside the Sacred Grief, there was also another layer of inadequacy and unworth that came into my field with the acknowledged strategy of avoidance. This is tricky as I felt it in an inner masculine aspect of myself that I have worked with for a long time. He represents so much of my own personal masculine as well as a connection to what I have felt as the ‘Matrix Masculine’. 

This aspect was born/constructed from the womb of the False Mother/Father matrix we are all a part of to some degree or another. He has been wrapped up in it like a fly caught in a spider’s web. At times, he is motivated to fight against it, find freedom from it, or learn to master it. Either way there is still a relationship to it that is at odds. The history of being stuck in this loop has created a deep seed of suffering, grief, shame, and feeling lost. He has been separated from his own feminine counterpart on the inside which exacerbates the condition. 

I was shown this disconnect from my own inner feminine part as well as from my own Divine Essence or Self. It was an illumination of the wounding within the Holy Trinity of Self-to-Self, Self-to-Other, and Self-to-Divine. This masculine part of me, named Marcus, is at the hub of this. He represents so much of my power, truth, and vision. He also represents the pain, the pressure, and the punishment. 

Beside the disconnect from my inner feminine there is also one with my inner child and him. He has forgotten the art of play and the presence of innocent joy that it brings. The reconnection of all three feels like another Holy Trinity of masculine, feminine, and innocence. When we as men can have contact with all three in a sacred dance and flow, we have found ourselves on a new strata of personal experience of the world we live in. 

This compartmentalization happened for protective reasons as well as wounded ones. It is now bringing these aspects of me back into the same room and starting the healing and reunion process. I also feel a need for my beloved wounded masculine to be seen and felt as the Divine Son that he is rather than the Lost Son. That is an ongoing process that will take time as reintegration and ascension does. 

On the integrated side of the journey, it opens up more of my divine masculine heart to be in love with myself and those close to me. It opens up my trust and leadership as well as my creativity and play. It offers me a new timeline of what it means to be a human man merging again with Spirit and Source. With the Shadow and the Light. 

Thanks for taking this all in as I hope it gives a doorway into this process for others that feel a resonance with what I continue to work with inside of myself as a man in a very intimate community and healing process.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Homecoming: The SoulFullHeart Equinox Gathering

Published on by Bianca MagdaleneLeave a comment

We just completed a 5 day gathering here in Portugal with 8 very beautiful and very unique souls. A gathering that is turning out to be a Homecoming. A Homecoming to the true self, to community of heart and soul and to the Divine.

At the pristine waters of Fraga da Pena

This Equinox portal is a significant one, I feel, bringing into balance what has seeked to come into balance for so long inside and out. I’m feeling so many significant movements and shifts inside of myself, big and small and everything in between.

I feel an expansion of heart and feeling of my and with my heart‘s true essence. The heart expanding to be able to let in the love that has been here all along but can only be felt now by the heart’s true essence. The heart expanding to be able to be more Love, share it and receive it. And just as I type this, the Youtube playlist the algorithm created for me based on my music preferences dials in ‘Song for a Pure Heart’ by Mei-lan.

I am seeing with new eyes as I have claimed my light, my true essence, my true self over and over again in the midst of darkness. Seeing the same things with different eyes makes the same things feel very different which is beautiful, exciting, new and trippy at times.

I see the Dark coming into balance with the Light, dancing, coalescing, flowing into and with each other. Both are needed and none of them can be denied any more, battled or resisted, just seen, felt, loved, claimed.

I am accessing my true desires and my Queen’s true frequencies that are just moving into the space now, effortlessly, gracefully, easily. No labour or self-discipline needed. Just an ongoing sorting out and through what and who I really am and what I’m not, what is of the matrix (in lack of a better description) is falling away.

I am witnessing a moving from detail to the bigger picture, from smallness to bigness, from Masculine to Feminine, from hell to heaven, from muddy and murky waters within to clarities and seeing clearly, from self-focus / self-centeredness / privacy to connection and sharing with others, leaving the necessary cocoon/incubator space to open up and unfold like a blossoming flower to share and receive.

Everything I have consciously felt over the last few years and looked at inside of myself, part after part, layer after layer, is coming together in my heart space, finding a home within, integrating and moving into a higher consciousness.

There is an opening up to and receiving of higher frequencies, wanting them, needing them, desiring them and feeling worthy of them, even as bits and pieces of unworth are still leaving my being.

It is a remembering of and homecoming to my true Feminine’s essence and embodying of it. Flow, sensuality, creativity and inspiration moving in.

A new maturity uncovered that isn’t really new, just had been covered over before, revealing patience, wisdom and a connection to a deep womb space and feminine presence.

Where we went together as a community in the gathering were the realest and most vulnerable places we have gone to so far and it felt like such nourishing food for me. I love every single soul for their brave, real and heart-felt contribution and presence. So much healing exchanged between all of us and quantumly. We need each other. I will be unpacking the gifts from this for days and weeks to come.

We will have our next gathering in December for the Winter solstice, as well as ongoingly every equinox/solstice, and are inviting souls who feel drawn to regular sessions with one of our facilitators. We could all feel ’empty’ seats in the room reserved for souls joining us in the very near future. If that is you, do get in touch with one of us and claim your seat ❤️

Love, Bey

Bey Magdalene is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant, Facilitator-In-Training, and Community Member. For more information on community, videos, group calls, and 1:1 sessions with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator, visit soulfullheart.org

Posing for an album cover
Jelelle and Kasha building housing for the pixies

Healing Perfectionism With Divine Love

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

Perfectionism is expressed by many different parts of us, in varied ways and for so many reasons. I’m sure many of us can relate to the constant need to control the outcome or appearance of everything we do. The fear of doing something wrong or being judged for it is running in the background of our minds even in everyday, simple tasks. We often feel tension and anxiety when something unfolds in a way we did not expect or control. Maybe it comes up when you have reactions you don’t want to have, or there’s conflict you wanted to avoid, or you chose to do something that you realize others would judge.

Perfectionism is often used as a way to protect the most precious and vulnerable parts of us which has been so needed in certain phases of our lives. Overtime it becomes so ingrained in us from messaging by society, matrix coding from as far back as birth, personal desire to appear a certain way, and to avoid judgement and loss. But it gets to a certain point where it prevents those vulnerable parts from growing into their bigness and recognizing that they don’t need that protection to the same degree anymore.

Perfectionism for myself has been so strong my entire life. I strived to be a perfect student, perfect friend, perfect girlfriend, perfect daughter, perfect community member. And slowly but surely I’ve come to unwind this ingrained desire to avoid any and all judgement and conflict. Much of this has been rooted in the idea that I’m not good enough and that I’ll lose everything I love so much. The moment we separated from the Divine, we were given an underlying feeling of guttural and tragic loss of our home frequency of love and connection. So much unworthiness stems from that loss and everyday we try to prove we are good enough to the divine in some way, shape or form.

Freedom can be found in the moments when all parts of us are nourished and aligned: heart, body, mind, soul and spirit. When we allow ourselves to let in true divine love, we are then able to realize that we can truly do no wrong from the perspective of the Divine. This is really the only place we can find unconditional love and acceptance. When we let go of expectation, obligation and self consciousness – we find liberation.

Freedom for me was felt in the picture I’ve attached to this post. That week I felt the words from the Divine rumble through me when she said “You are my everything”. The energy and truth of these words started to unlock this strong hold parts of me had on the idea of not being good enough. We truly are everything to her – everyone of us and in every way. In the moment of this picture I stepped away from something that was bringing me tension and took in beautiful nature and sunset codes with my beloved Kasha and every part of me felt nourished and aligned.

Freedom is found when we take the time to remind every part of ourselves, even the ones that are hard to love, that they always have been and always will be good enough. Even when there’s room to grow, even when there are regrets, even when the future is unknown – they are good enough and more. And the more we see this bigness in ourselves, the more we can see and feel it in others. And from there, the love spreads like wildfire.

Love,
Raianna Shai

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Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Sacred Spiral Of Healing

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

The path of healing in my experience has been a spiral. It is what I have witnessed with my beloveds as well as those I have held and hold space for. Trying to set a linear path is a need of a part of us to ‘get to the good stuff already’, to get on with our ‘mission’, or maybe to reach an attainment. In that way, there is so much that can get left behind and remain in shadow.

I consider myself a human being first. Everything else comes after. I believe we all have human pains that have been stored up and held onto for good reason. They needed to be sequestered to survive and maybe even thrive, even if in not the most ideal of circumstances. Yet, when it seems like all is safe and held to a large degree, these hidden pockets of energy, feeling, vibration come to the surface needing, desiring love and reconciliation that they couldn’t get when it wasn’t safe.

This is why you may ask yourself a big WTF? when all seems to be going along great and then….WHAM! Something comes out of what seems like ‘left field’ and you are bulled over with grief, depression, anxiety, fear, etc. It doesn’t make sense with what the external situation is! This may be the case. The external has become safe enough for these repressed parts to bubble up in the most unusual of times. It may be exacerbated and supported by the ‘energies’ of the moment, but they are not a product or result of. They are still a part of your humanity in need of healing.

There are some who know that have things that have been in the closet. Tucked away boxes and suitcases that they are consciously aware of yet have needed the ‘time’ to feel right to go back in. This is very intentional rather than being side-swiped. Neither is better or worse. Just how it has all presented itself to you in the way and time it has needed. The main point is that you meet it. Feel it. Walk the spiral path with it for it is your sacred healing journey and no one else’s.

I don’t feel to convince anyone they still have healing to do. That needs to come from each soul. For me, I know I do. On so many levels even if I am doing ‘well’ right now. Which I am. I may not have the deep pain I once did before I started (thank the Divine!), yet I know that there are deeper layers of my emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical bodies that have pockets yet unrevealed. Whether it is another round with my inner child, a Metasoul aspect, or existential separation wounding, I know that I want to meet it with the depth of heart and soul I have cultivated in this process. I feel I am meant to serve those that sense the same for themselves.

The Sacred Spiral has been around for eons. It represents so much of our own humanity as well as our Divinity. I honor this path something to be present to not just get over, through, or around. I honor all of those that continue to walk this winding road back to wholeness without leaving anything behind in the rush to heal or attain, but to just live and be in every moment whether it is bliss or a mess. Love is holding us in each and every turn.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Causes Of Inner Work & Ascension ‘Burnout’

Published on by Kasha RokshanaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rokshana

It’s not uncommon to hear about how burnt-out, frustrated, and DONE people feel when it comes to their own Ascension and awakening journeys. There are so many things that can make someone feel this way and there are different ways to look at why this is happening, from the inside out. 

Join Kasha as she launches into a discussion about what’s in her heart about this topic/obstacle and what the factors may be that have led up to it. She offers her sense of how being inundated with ‘spiritual teachings’ and mandates around ‘do this, not that!‘ can play a role in making parts of you feel overwhelmed and ready to give up. Also, many offerings don’t seem to truly give you handrails and active support, let alone heart warmth, and also can blow you/parts of you out (sometimes even on purpose) with over-confrontation and an outside-in orientation to healing that does nothing to empower you to hold your own process. Kasha offers that while confrontation may be necessary at times, peak experiences or intense ‘retreats’ can actually traumatize your parts/Metasoul aspects more so than offer true healing, integration, and a sense of who you truly are.

Kasha goes into more details about all of this and more surrounding what may or may not be your specific circumstances around feeling ‘burned out’ on your personal journey. This is just the tip of the iceberg too, as really this is such a big topic to dive into and is really so personal to everyone who feels it.

Here is a guided meditation to help you connect with your Gatekeeper: https://youtu.be/bGqTeeaYpwc

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, videos, and events, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org.

We also invite you to join us for affordable membership on our private, online community SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks for sharing, asking questions, and connecting with others: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/feed

For more information about a free intro call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

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Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.