Healing The ‘Black Sheep’ Archetype: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Aug 12, 2019)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

It’s quite common, especially for those on an awakening journey, to feel as if they are the ‘black sheep’ not only of their birth family but of the culture and consciousness they were born and raised in. Featured this week is a piece from SoulFullHeart Teacher/Facilitator, Kalayna Solais, who offers her experience with going into this archetype of the ‘black sheep’ recently with a part of her. She also offers a framing of the healing and inner unification that is possible as an outcome of this process:

“On the other side of this process, I could bring this part of me into a new form other than the ‘black sheep’. She was able to shake off the black and the sheep suit came off too. She turned into a young lioness, full of power and presence, yet with heart and vulnerability. She is finding a new home inside of me where she can truly belong and be seen and loved for who she is, even in those times where she is being shown something not-so-easy to see or feel about herself…

…The feelings of not-belonging can be healed as the parts of you begin to unify, one by one, with each other and with you.”

Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be hosting another online Group Transmission in September.

The focus of this group on Saturday, September 14, 2019, at 10:00am PDT is to learn more about karmic healing through unplugging through the lower 4D matrix, which is the control matrix created by the collective unconscious’ unprocessed and undigested karmic soul woundings, trauma playouts, good vs. evil battles, and archetypal projections. Unplugging from the Lower 4D Matrix is the ‘next step’ in awakening as you consciously lift your veil of amnesia with the help of your Gatekeeper, an aspect of your Metasoul that guards and protects all the timelines/lifetimes that your soul has fragmented into.

Come join us in the beautiful New Lemurian grids of Victoria, BC for a four-day SoulFullHeart community gathering this September, 2019 for the Autumnal Equinox. The gathering starts at 10:00am on Friday the 20th of September and goes through 5pm on Monday the 23rd. This four-day gathering offers the opportunity to immerse into your soul and heart realities in a deep, powerful, and transmutational way.

We will be having another four-day community gathering this December, 2019 for the Winter Solstice. The gathering starts at 10:00am on Wednesday the 18th of December and goes through 5pm on Saturday the 21st (each day’s events are from 10:00am until 5:00pm).

For more information on these events, visit: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

There is a brand new video from the Digesting Disclosure vlog series with Raphael Awen and Gabriel Heartman. In this fourth installment of Digesting Disclosure, Raphael and Gabriel talk about how the reaction to what is happening externally is all reflected on what is occurring within. They introduce the idea of the Gatekeeper as the aspect of each of us that holds the veil in place between your awakened consciousness and that which is still in shadow, or the unconscious.

There are a few new articles this week from Raphael and Jelelle Awen, Gabriel Heartman, and Kalayna Solais. They bring in some energy updates and digestions of the Lion’s Gate energies that continued to move through for a while after the official portal day on 8/8. They also offer some digestions of current events and different ways to feel what could be coming up in your own personal process right now.

Jelelle, Raphael, Gabriel, and Kalayna offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities.

Sessions with Jelelle are $100 CAD minimum donation while sessions with Raphael, Gabriel, and Kalayna are $77 CAD minimum donation. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Our online shop is NOW OPEN! You can visit it to pay for individual sessions or to attend any of our gatherings, purchase the recording of past group transmissions or pay to attend an upcoming one, or to purchase books. Keep an eye out and your heart open for other offerings in the near future! https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/shop

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

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Class Action Love Suit

By Raphael Awen

Anxiety and depression coming up are at first seen to be related to how one feels about this life.

Looking deeper and feeling deeper, one can see how these feelings also stem from the Metasoul – Mirroring aspects of our wider self, in other timelines often holding karmic binds, an expectation of things going wrong.

Karma’s whole point was to bring us to remorse and reconciliation from this polarized extremity and duality of living as if one could harm an other and reframe from harming self.

Feeling the deeper soul’s sorry, one moves the karmic binds from a kind of class action law suit arrayed against you, to a kind of class action love suit, where victim and perpetrator recreate and rewrite the story to one of deep love through the inseparable bond of karma.

I felt this while feeling my Atlantean Metasoul aspect today, who I’ve come to know as Mordecai. At first, it was simply a heightened energy of fearing outcomes. I even had a moment of ‘for no reason’, fearing the car breaking down while driving yesterday, along with other feelings of circumstances turning negative. I was able to feel into this karmic expectation backlash that this was about the reality that Mordecai created for himself, and to feel this all with him and create a new unfolding timeline of deep remorse, asking forgiveness, receiving it and now allowing for the Karmic binds to be transformed into alchemical Karmic love binds.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Healing The ‘Black Sheep’ Archetype

by Kalayna Solais

When you’re a child, you start to learn right away what is expected of you. You’re meeting expectations of when to start talking, walking, even behaving more maturely, whatever definition of ‘mature’ you’ve been taught. You learn, then, about what makes you feel like you’re on track with this and what doesn’t and you take in the impact of that.

As you get older and start to awaken more to your soul but also what your heart really feels and wants, the pain starts to set in… the pain of feeling like you don’t belong and maybe never have. A feeling like you simply cannot ‘win’ no matter what you do or don’t do. Parts of you form to deal with this and find a way to be in the world but you still can’t reconcile your differences; those aspects of who you are that seem to set you apart from everyone else.

In some cases, you may start becoming ‘therapized’ as the only way that your 3D-conditioned parents or authority figures feel they can ‘help’ you. You may be put on medication that numbs and dulls your natural ability to FEEL. Even the anxiety and depression you’ve experienced, which is held by parts of you that are hurting and also feeling on their radar a sense that they really aren’t safe in this conditioning and aren’t being loved the way they need and deserve to be.

You now see yourself as the ‘black sheep’ of the family but also of the culture you’ve been raised in. You may even feel this with your friends or co-workers. I know I have.

In my recent process, I was working with a part of me that always felt she was the ‘black sheep’. We had to go into a scene together where she could line-up her birth family members and feel the lingering judgements and criticisms, the messages of ‘you’ll never make it on your own’ which may not have been directly said but were energized.

Together, we could start to feel their Higher Selves in the room too, and their Higher Selves offered that this wasn’t actually about what it seemed to be about… it wasn’t about me or this part of me being a ‘failure’ (though in a 3D sense it’d be pretty easy to see it that way). It was actually about a wonder they have at the conditioning I’ve been able to say ‘no’ to, the risks I’ve said ‘yes’ to and the trust I now have more and more in my life, even the challenges that sometimes feel like mountains to climb.

In this, I found compassion for them even though I still hold a boundary.

In this, I found a way to truly see and honour myself and my own journey as well as seeing the sacredness of their own.

In this, I could feel how this theme of ‘not belonging’ and being looked down on somehow has played out in all of my relationships in one way or another, even with my soul family and my recent marriage too.

And, in this, I could feel how just about every single one of us who has been on an awakening and healing journey has felt like some form of the ‘black sheep’ and played out this theme countless times, often with angst and restlessness and even suicidal feelings.

On the other side of this process, I could bring this part of me into a new form other than the ‘black sheep’. She was able to shake off the black and the sheep suit came off too. She turned into a young lioness, full of power and presence, yet with heart and vulnerability. She is finding a new home inside of me where she can truly belong and be seen and loved for who she is, even in those times where she is being shown something not-so-easy to see or feel about herself.

You’ve been taught to look outside of you for validation and even for connection to Divine love.

You’ve been conditioned to believe that you’re always supposed to ‘achieve’ and ‘succeed’ even though the goalposts keep moving. This happens in 3D and also 4D in different spiritual groups too where your ‘black sheep’ feelings can become amplified instead of felt deeply, often in the form of ‘tough love’ which is really just outright abuse.

The feelings of not-belonging can be healed as the parts of you begin to unify, one by one, with each other and with you.

Love is the glue that brings your heart and soul back together again to wholeness within that can no longer be severed. Love is the juice that catalyzes the transformation from within. Yours is the love your lost and world-weary parts most need to feel, to remove their own sheep suits… for they were never meant to be ‘sheep’.

They were meant to be ‘lions’.

Much love! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Sirian Energies Offer Hope/Possibility/Forgiveness During This Time Of Peak Fear & Violence: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Aug 5, 2019)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

The Lion’s Gate Portal energies have been swirling for some time now, coming to a head around and on 8/8, the day of the official portal opening. In our leading piece this week, SoulFullHeart Teacher/Co-Creator/Facilitator, Jelelle Awen, offers us a download from her own Sirian Aspect, Sela. Sela offers through and with Jelelle, a picture of the violence in the world right now finding reconciliation in every individual heart and soul, and a sense that this is all a sacred part of the process of our Ascension that plays out for our own individual transformation:

“This process of trusting goodness begins from within. It happens as you feel/heal/connect with the aspects of yourself and your soul that are living through and in violence, experiencing traumatic deaths, living in shadow, harming others in different ways, and being harmed too.

As you become a love ambassador to yourself and connect to the aspects of your Metasoul that can provide you a feeling sense of your own soul’s transformational journey from 3D into 5D (like the Sirians), you can FEEL in your heart then the goodness that lives and breathes in EVERY soul.”

We have two in-person gatherings coming up!

Come join us in the beautiful New Lemurian grids of Victoria, BC for a four-day SoulFullHeart community gathering this September, 2019 for the Autumnal Equinox. The gathering starts at 10:00am on Friday the 20th of September and goes through 5pm on Monday the 23rd. This four-day gathering offers the opportunity to immerse into your soul and heart realities in a deep, powerful, and transmutational way.

We will be having another four-day community gathering this December, 2019 for the Winter Solstice. The gathering starts at 10:00am on Wednesday the 18th of December and goes through 5pm on Saturday the 21st (each day’s events are from 10:00am until 5:00pm).

For more information on these events, visit: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

There are several new articles and audio blogs from Jelelle Awen, Raphael Awen, Kalayna Solais, and Gabriel Heartman. These articles include energy updates, digestions of the Lion’s Gate energies, and ways to digest current events in a personal way.

Jelelle, Raphael, Gabriel, and Kalayna offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities.

Sessions with Jelelle are $100 CAD minimum donation while sessions with Raphael, Gabriel, and Kalayna are $77 CAD minimum donation. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Our online shop is NOW OPEN! You can visit it to pay for individual sessions or to attend any of our gatherings, purchase the recording of past group transmissions or pay to attend an upcoming one, or to purchase books. Keep an eye out and your heart open for other offerings in the near future! https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/shop

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

You Are Already Enlightened

By Raphael Awen

In a higher sense, you are already as enlightened as you’ll ever be.

The challenge we all face (as well as chose) is becoming aware and fluid with that enlightenment on an everyday level.

In other words, we chose the journey to enlightenment because we already had (and never lost) the destination.

If that’s true, then all the resistances that you and I face in our awakening journey are all sacred and even very necessary.

It’s quite apparent that deep in our soul source history, that as love, we became something like bored and lonely in being in a total bliss state, where there existed no duality, nothing to choose, and nothing and no other to relate with.

Love had it all and wanted more.

That may be the truest thing still true about you and I today. We had it all, we still do, and yet, we want more.

Doesn’t that start to explain our detours in our addictions, our journey in self-help, our hunger for God, our conflicting belief systems, as well as our yearnings for more healthy attachments?

In other words (again), like creative children, we made up the coolest game together. Can you imagine all the creative ideas flying around? “Let’s individuate okay? There’ll be male and female, galaxy upon galaxy, infinity (why not?!), all manner of BEings, better throw in duality and even evil, …what else, oh, we must forget the reality we came from, or the whole game falls apart, and then we can slowly awaken, feeling everything as we go, so then when we reach the destination, the one that we are now leaving, we will have changed it into something magically so much more. We won’t be bored or lonely anymore, and the rest, we’ll discover and make up as we go.”

I believe we all signed off on such a game. I believe this is what you and I are living in every day in this dimension we call life.

Everyone of us alive on Gaia at this time of population explosion wanted to be in on this moment. We thought nothing of camping overnight on a sidewalk to get first in line for this grand opening event that is culminating in this moment in this setting. A camp chair, a sleeping bag and a tent, a water bottle, and you’re good to go. The rest comes as it comes.

My wealth is not that I have it all. My wealth is in my neediness, that there are places in me that yet feel like they lost it all. I get to bridge to those aspects of my being. I get to bring every resistant, lost and traumatized part of my BEing, from this timeline and other lifetimes into this dawning love and light of day.

That’s where the magic is.

As for my need for purpose and engagement, I get to be about helping others who are seeking help make their similar journey of personal awakening, which is totally connected to the collective awakening.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Finding Love In The Darkness

By Gabriel Heartman

In the Darkness, the Light of Love can be found when you choose to let it in despite the pain. It is actually the pain itself that cracks open the heart from where the river of Love and Understanding flow.

The resistance to feeling the darkest places is a sacred negotiation. It is there as a gestation period for when the time is right and ripe. When it presents itself, you are being offered an opportunity to go deeper into your Being and come out with the experience that All is held in Love no matter the circumstance. This is the Holy moment of returning to Wholeness.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Your Heaven Exists In The NOW

By Raphael Awen

In my lifetime this life, I’ve gone from fearing I wouldn’t go to heaven when I die, to being assured I’d go to heaven when I die, to now coming to a place of realizing that I no longer am that interested in going to heaven when I die.

Placing our desire for heaven or golden earth in a future hope serves to veil the very real existence of our higher self’s reality in the Now.

Everything you want, you already have. The very real seeming perception of something lacking or missing is a guidepost to help you return to the realization that what you seek was actually never lost, but only veiled from your awareness for a specific purpose of growth – growth for you and growth for love itself.

Laments about the past, and desires for your future are things that occur in your present, that obscure you from the larger Now, wherein exists all you can imagine and infinitely more.

If this is all true, or real, then what’s left is to bridge to the parts of you who are understandably not so convinced of this Now of golden earth. What’s left is to bridge to the Gatekeeper aspect of us who has worked hard to maintain the needed veil between our conscious self (and selves) and our awakening self (and selves). The need for the veil is changing every day. We’re entering a new order of things, internally and externally.

You are awakening from a dream. There’s a ton to adjust and acclimate to, but this is where the fun comes in. This is where purpose and reward comes in.

This is where fulfilling your plan ‘A’ comes in. Plan ‘B’ can take its place in our keepsake box, a sacred reminder that it’s all sacred.

Your and my heaven can only and ever exist in the Now. It’s only through the Now that you can access it. Past, present and future (and time itself) are only emanations from this deeper substance of all things reality called love.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Leaving The Prickly Nest For Love

By Raphael Awen

I’m learning what feels like a kindergartners lesson on one hand, and feels like the most advanced stuff I’ve ever heard on the other:

When I’m (a part of me) living in fear of someone, or something, or the government, I’ve given away my power to that someone, that something, that authority, and it feels scary because I’m seeing my own power turned on me. It’s a me to me internal war being projected out.

In these profoundly changing times, YOU are also profoundly changing. What’s worked in the past, socially, financially, what you can and can’t eat, isn’t working the same way. New workings are trying to get in the door as old ones are completing.

These upheavals to your well-being are not signs that you are lacking in any spiritual attainment, but rather an invitation into a new attainment and ground of being.

The universe knows you’re ready to fly, and so, like the mama eagle makes the nest prickly when it’s time to get her eaglets to attempt their first launch, so the universe and love itself is bringing new and surprising challenges, cause it’s getting very close to your time to fly.

You home is the skies and the nest! You are meant to be nestled in a love you haven’t known in a very long while.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

What You Really Want Is Love

By Raphael Awen

What you really want is love.

Things we call ‘attachments’ are only placeholders that parts of us hold onto as love until something better shows up. Who can blame parts of us for doing that. We are made for love.

A child being only willing to eat french fries and chicken nuggets is because he found love and comfort in them and they landed in a place that only feels like the absence of love.

As adults, so much of our routines in habit, diet, feeling states, relationships that we keep or don’t keep, are all so full of these ‘attachments’. Another part of us that we all have until they are felt and healed is an Inner Punisher, and this part is connected to another part of us that holds deep shame. This sets up a punishment-shame cycle dynamic that is meant to protect us and keep us safe which is hard to grasp at first begging the question of ‘why would we do such barbaric things to ourselves in the name of safety?’ The simple answer is that in our subconscious we hold deep memory of feeling love’s absence and a deep culture shock from when we first landed here in the human domain, and felt how non-heart-resonant the hearts of our caregivers were.

Now, it’s up to us to feel how so much self-improvement and problem fixing energy in our lives is actually the problem, not any kind of solution. You are not a broken person needing fixing. You are a profoundly beautiful being made of love and by love and are coming to terms with the love that you are. Part of this acclimatization to love is your willingness as a soul to come to a place that feels like ‘not-love’ in order to afford you an awakening process to the love that you are as a profound soul growth. Your existence and the essence of your being is so much more than than what you and I know and feel in the 3rd dimensional reality of time and space here on Gaia.

So, instead of running yourself through the ringer with feeling and trying to change a persistent negative and harmful pattern or behaviour, what about instead feeling the part of you who needs that pattern or behaviour and why they do? What about getting to know this magical part of you stuck in their french fry and mcnuggett world? They are your portal into the more that you are and are longing to feel and be. They are ‘attached’ to what they know and feel as love. It’s up to you and I to lead with something more, rather than substituting one attachment for another.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

The Flow Of Joy

By Raphael Awen

Joy isn’t a state of being as much as it is a state of flow.

Flow is about what you are letting in and what you are letting out of your life.

Increased joy will mean a sped up sense of how fast you are able to be with the hello’s and goodbye’s in your life, whether that be to people, places, things, foods, etc. – life as you know it.

Being with all this means holding space for the parts of you that have very understandable reactions to the changes. They want changes just as much as you, but they each have different valid concerns about the how and what and why, as well as the timing of those changes.

It’s up to you to show up as an ambassador to these distinct parts of yourself with an open heart ready and willing to feel through their eyes, hear with their ears, and be changed in the process.

This is the process of returning to the flow state of joy.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.