Moving Beyond Fear-Based ‘Tolerance’ Of Dissonance During Awakenings & Growth

by Kasha Rokshana

“Tolerance” is really such a terrible word. I don’t particularly like it. Because it makes parts of us feel like they are obliged to let things go that really they shouldn’t have to. It’s one of the most misinformed tenants of modern society. Tolerance is not compassion or understanding, let alone love, and it actually typically comes from fear, especially the fear of you yourself not being ‘tolerated’ let alone actually felt or understood.

If you find yourself tolerating a dead marriage, a dead relationship to birth family, a dead connection to your livelihood, rather than seeking and humbly taking risks for the sake of aliveness, then you’re likely in a place of having been coached, told, conditioned into feeling like as long as you’re tolerating these dead things, you’re ‘doing something right’ and dare I say, even reaching the carrot of ‘enlightenment’.

No one is entitled to your tolerance, not even the parts of you that ask for it. Just as people on the outside of you basically tell you ‘don’t look over here, you have to accept me as I AM’, parts of you can do that too. They don’t want you to see their manipulative strategies or ways of controlling the people in your life that you don’t resonate with so that they don’t have to experience real and true growth and what actually COULD become possible in ALL of your relationships.

Tolerance becomes intolerance, sometimes quickly, as awakenings happen and these awakenings lead quickly to depression and anxiety when this intolerance is not honoured or felt. You are changing. And if you’re a big soul, you’ve likely felt how quickly you change and shift at times and are oftentimes tiptoeing around your relationships rather than letting your awakenings truly ride with you into a new life phase.

Death and rebirth is always a part of awakening, whether it’s the kind of death and rebirth that is very, very dark for a time or the kind that is actually much easier to move through. I can assure you though, that if parts of you still buy the 3D Matrix or New Age Spirituality Matrix shit of ‘you have to find a way to make this work because that’s what real love does’, then you are in for more difficulty, not less, whether it manifests in physical illness, emotional waves you fall under rather than feel able to come to terms with (note, I didn’t say ‘control’), or a feeling of existential crisis that keeps growing until parts of you can no longer stuff it down.

Awakening, truly expanding into your heart and soul and letting them lead, is not about tolerating anything or anyone. Yet, as this intolerance is felt and honoured, true compassion can be felt as well as authentic passion. You change, and even if the people around you can’t, you are empowered to navigate your way through that and find new people to be around, even if you need a phase of being ‘alone’ (which is never alone, truly, for the Divine is ALWAYS there and sometimes it takes the lonely feelings to actually drop into Its arms at last).

If you truly have a penchant for your deepest growth, you’ll find a way to feel what you’ve been allowing that actually doesn’t feel good to you. Our gut honesty is what brings us the most growth and the most Divine alignment, even in all its messiness and absolute dearth of glamour. There is NO such thing as an ‘ugly cry’, especially when what you’re feeling is the grief of what perhaps once worked, what once was beautiful and resonant, and you’re feeling into letting it go for the sake of all involved…

I love you. Keep feeling. Keep moving beyond tolerance and you WILL find your truth, whether you end up needing to move into deep life change right away or not. Your awakenings will deepen and your experience of your soul will too, even in all of the waves of exquisite sadness, necessary rage, and openings into bittersweet bliss.

Love,
Kasha

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Bridging Our Humanity With Our Divinity

After holding space for a beautiful multidimensional soul yesterday, I was reminded how much our spirituality and our humanity can be in different rooms at times. Sometimes they are in the same room trying to understand each other and learning to relate to each other. Sometimes it is blissful, other times not so much. We are invited to embody more of our 5D/Divine Self. Yet, this is not always as simple as parts of us (our Gatekeepers especially) would like it to be.

There may be this intense need to just ‘get over’ the healing already and get to the urgent task at hand of healing the planet. A deep desire to get out of the ‘hell’ of 3D and into the heaven of 5D. The urgency and the judgments can be portals into something more real for us however. Underneath this, there is a relationship that is going on between our spiritual self and our human self. One may be judged as ‘good’ or ‘better’, the other as ‘bad’ or ‘worse’. There may be for a part of you that this polarity is energetically strong. A tug-of-war between the two. Or at times, one is completely denied for the sake of the other.

The work we do in SoulFullHeart is to bridge the gap between these two worlds, or the parts and aspects that live in these two worlds. How do they see and feel each other? DO they see and feel each other? Is there a reasonable resistance and protection of going into the human pain body or the spiritual wounds? We are such a cacophony of experience and reality. I feel we are more than just multidimensional, we are pan-dimensional. We cover ALL dimensions from the lightest to the darkest. From the transparent to the hidden.

You may get a visceral sense of this when you feel the waves of bliss and joy come in, then may be followed by a thud back-down-to-earth kind of feeling that takes you down and out. This push and pull can be evidence of something that has not been fully felt, bridged to, and integrated from human to soul, or vice versa. It is hard to embody our divinity if we are denying our humanity or our spirituality, and by that I mean some of the uncomfortable and not fully processed feelings that are held by parts in the emotional body or soul aspects in the Metasoul.

There is a You that is being called forward to be a bridge between these two worlds. One that feels the gifts of both the human heart and the Divine soul. A You that embraces the human and embodies the spirit. This is not a mastery course but a lived-in, lived-out, and felt through one that requires curiosity, compassion, and courage. Courage to face and feel all of the things that still keep us from truly being a Divine Human Being.

That is what wants to come through me today to those that it is meant to land in, including myself. It is a reminder that we are all on a journey and that there is no real destination other than feeling all there is to feel and learning about ourselves in the process. From there we might just touch the true meaning of being human.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

What Do You Long For?

What do you long for?

What is seeking redemption, truth, forgiveness, and love?

What is it that you truly want to feel coursing through your veins when you wake up in the morning?

Who are you really and what the hell are you doing here?

These are the penetrative questions that rumble the status quo of our current emotional and spiritual consciousness. I am being asked those questions of myself as I feel and heal old patterns within me that have taken me to the next leg of my inner quest and leadership.

When you feel like you begin to cycle on something, you have hit a ceiling. Actually, it is more like a membrane. It is not solid in reality. It only appears that way to a part of you that holds resistance to what lies on the other side. This ‘ceiling’ is actually the floor to the next level, the next chapter, of your ever-evolving growth and remembrance.

What you come to at that moment is a precipice. In front of you is a void that has no apparent stone to step on because a part of you afraid of what happens if there is nothing there to catch you. This has been a repeated part of my journey that is seeking an end. One where vulnerability, risk, and the fear of what occurs on the other side get to create the very steps that have appeared lacking yet there all along.

This suffering ceiling is what brought me to SoulFullHeart. It is what inspired me to say no more to what clearly was not working in my life at that time. It is what is inviting me to go to my next places, next steps that send me to higher heights, along with the fears of falling. There is a moment when you have to decide when the cycles end and the real loving begins. I ask again:

What do you long for?

What is seeking redemption, truth, forgiveness, and love?

What is it that you truly want to feel coursing in your veins when you wake up in the morning?

Who are you really and what the hell are you doing here?

The answers to those questions only come from going into your heart with curiosity, a mirror, and a guide. Wherever you find it, chose it and claim it one choice at a time. Your soul is ready as your heart may waver. That wavering is a universe of parts that have a lot to say and be held in. Feel them and you create a whole new world from the inside out. I offer my heart in service to that exploration of all that you are meant to be.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Introducing Our New Podcast: The SoulFullHeart Current

My beloved Kasha Rokshana and I are so excited to host the first episode of a weekly podcast from within the SoulFullHeart process, community, and way of life which is so beloved to us and which we have been a part of for the last decade.

In this episode, we share a bit about our personal journeys and draw to this process and community. We also give you a very brief overview of what the process itself offers along with some pieces about what makes it challenging yet beautiful. You’ll also hear a bit about our personal intentions for this Podcast overall.

You can find our podcast in many different places:

Anchor.fm: https://anchor.fm/soulfullheartcurrent
Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/2LUIpz0KHOr46Utheqfl5C
As well as Apple Podcasts, Google Podcast, and Amazon Music. You just need to search for “The SoulFullHeart Current”. If you listen to us on any of these platforms please follow us so you get notified of upcoming episodes!

We will also be adding it to our YouTube channel:
https://youtu.be/wAkHfq4btRk

We’d love for you to join us weekly as we share our personal digestions of emotional and spiritual healing, sacred union, ascension energies, current global events, disclosure, and more through the SoulFullHeart lens and embodiment we share. We’ll also bring in different members of the SoulFullHeart community, and also our mentors and SoulFullHeart co-creators, Raphael and Jelelle Awen, to contribute to the conversation and share their own experiences.

The word ‘current’ represents what is happening in the Now with us and through us. To be ‘current’ is to be open and honest about how we are feeling, not just what we are thinking. It is being vulnerable and real, truthful even when it’s hard. It’s a journey that starts inside of you yet then is meant to overflow outward too as you share your truth out loud.

It also represents movement, like a river or electrical current. We’re on an ongoing conveyor belt of ascending consciousness as humans living on Gaia We are Love seeking a way back to Itself through our human experiences. It is rarely, if ever, a straight line. Where we go or how we feel one day may be different the next depending on new information or circumstance. We flow on that current by being ‘current’… being real, feeling what’s true in the moment. It’s a mysterious journey that wants to lead us back to our Essence, Being, and Truth.

Currency is also about what we bring into the world and the soul gifts we each have to exchange with others for theirs, in service of love yet also in our intimacy with those we’re close to. It’s the gifts we’re endowed with to spend in the world when we’re able to transact these gifts with others, to receive and exchange. This podcast is about what we each have to ‘spend’ from the wellsprings of our personal soul and heart gifts, yet it’s also about connecting with you and yours and supporting your own connection inside and with others too!

We appreciate any ideas for future podcasts for us to delve into as they arise for you. You can email those to us, along with any other comments to soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

You can find our online community, the SoulFullHeart Portal, on Mighty Networks at https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co. We highly recommend joining our online community where for only $22/month, you’ll have access to what could be the deepest and most meaningful soul family connections you’ve yet to experience, exclusive videos/guided meditations from us as well as Raphael and Jelelle Awen, and more personal pieces being shared from each of us in our intimate community.

Thank you for being in The Current with us. It is where we strive to let go, let in, feel, heal, see, be seen, and seek resonant community!

With Love and Currency,

Gabriel & Kasha

The Causes Of Inner Work & Ascension ‘Burnout’

by Kasha Rokshana

It’s not uncommon to hear about how burnt-out, frustrated, and DONE people feel when it comes to their own Ascension and awakening journeys. There are so many things that can make someone feel this way and there are different ways to look at why this is happening, from the inside out. 

Join Kasha as she launches into a discussion about what’s in her heart about this topic/obstacle and what the factors may be that have led up to it. She offers her sense of how being inundated with ‘spiritual teachings’ and mandates around ‘do this, not that!‘ can play a role in making parts of you feel overwhelmed and ready to give up. Also, many offerings don’t seem to truly give you handrails and active support, let alone heart warmth, and also can blow you/parts of you out (sometimes even on purpose) with over-confrontation and an outside-in orientation to healing that does nothing to empower you to hold your own process. Kasha offers that while confrontation may be necessary at times, peak experiences or intense ‘retreats’ can actually traumatize your parts/Metasoul aspects more so than offer true healing, integration, and a sense of who you truly are.

Kasha goes into more details about all of this and more surrounding what may or may not be your specific circumstances around feeling ‘burned out’ on your personal journey. This is just the tip of the iceberg too, as really this is such a big topic to dive into and is really so personal to everyone who feels it.

Here is a guided meditation to help you connect with your Gatekeeper: https://youtu.be/bGqTeeaYpwc

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, videos, and events, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org.

We also invite you to join us for affordable membership on our private, online community SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks for sharing, asking questions, and connecting with others: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/feed

For more information about a free intro call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Energy Update: Blood Supermoon Eclipse Window Offering Opportunities For Integration

By Jelelle Awen

Energy Update: There is a DEEP integration happening during this eclipse window, this space between the two eclipses with the second happening on Sunday. This is my most favorite of eclipses where the big old full moon (hijacked feminine) enters Gaia’s shadow (sacred feminine) in totality and for a long time…a blood supermoon total lunar eclipse that is going to be 84 minutes long. The hijacked lunar energies get to slip into Gaia’s sacred feminine shadow and ‘bleed out’ what is needed. I’ve also felt that these eclipses provide a space from the moon matrix frequencies broadcast for a little while to allow more soul integration.

It’s been two years since the last one, which is an interesting marker as well…a connection to what/where/who you were two years ago. There are resources online to watch it live or take in the recording which I highly recommend with your favorite meditation music.

Raphael and I are going to offer a livestream on FB to connect to these Supermoon eclipse energies and a guided meditation/transmission as well at 5:00pm GMT (london)/12:00pm EDT/9:00am PDT. You can catch us live to ask questions/leave comments or watch the recording later. https://www.facebook.com/jelelleawen

The integration process occurring is the response to ALL that was pushed up and activated during the last few weeks of powerful solar activations, planetary alignment, the solar eclipse, and the 5/5 gateway. These were energies that everyone (us sensitives anyway) seemed to be feeling, especially on the physical and emotional body levels.

Many were experiencing physical purges and clearings with head aches, body pains, indigestion, massive fatigue/sleepiness, brain fog, and more. And on the emotional body level I experienced (and others too) that the reaction/response cycle was greatly accelerating. Reactions would come up in myself and what I could witness in others as intense, peaking, charged and deep. Reactions that may not have happened even in quite a while.

Yet the response to those reactions was immediate, loving, deep, and nourishing so that the reaction could land in a place of love and awareness. For me, that is in a specific way of feeling the part/soul aspect who MOST needs me in that moment and is actually having the reaction. Rather than relating as just an “I” experiencing everything (which is SUCH a soup and so hard to sort out), I have for many years now seen and felt that so often it is either a part of myself (esp the 3D self/ego structure) or a soul aspect from another lifetime that is having the reaction.

Just in the last couple of weeks alone, I connected to my 3D self/Birth named part named Jillian around renewed service and some trauma from the past; a new inner mother part named Hera about aging with grace rather than fighting it; and my priestess aspect Lorna around going into deeper collaboration/union with Raphael. I shared about some of these experiences on my feed. Each of these processes was about moving into a deep feeling space with each of them as needed, bringing in Divine Mother and my primary guide/Divine self Anna, and experiencing a transmutation through that in which the heavy despair/pain/trauma is gone.

This eclipse window is offering the opportunity to experience the integration of responding to the reactions in this loving and pin-pointed way to the energies that ACTUALLY need them most. The integration has an elated feeling to it, a renewed passion, clarity about next steps, soul purpose reactivation.

Something heavy and deep is lifted and your heart is freed up. Your soul is freed up. Life and love can enter and flood your field in new ways.

I feel a renewed honor in holding space for others to discover just how specific their reactions/suffering loops etc. can be and how to BE and FEEL the parts/aspects that are having them. It is in the vagueness of the ‘fusion’ to these reactions were there can be a lot of stuckness, a thicker veil, feelings of looping, and hitting a ceiling.

This is a powerful opportunity for healing during and after the eclipse window. I keep seeing some souls in my field that are ‘waiting’ for the right timing to meet with me and perhaps it is now. I have some openings for those women drawn to meet with me for a free intro or who just want to dive in for a 1:1 session for 90 minutes for $77 USD. More info at soulfullheart.org/sessions and you can PM/DM me as well.

Wherever you are at in your activation/integration process, the celestial bodies are supporting it. And Divine love too!

Love,

Jelelle Awen

I also highly recommend taking in whichever of our 31 Deepen 2022 videos you are drawn to with teachings and guided meditation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZWeBviA18Y…

The No Man’s Land Of Our Collective Grief

By  Raphael Awen

If we take a step outside of this most challenging polarity moving through us right now as a species, we see where there’s something none of us really comfortable feeling.

If the anti injection people are correct, then there’s a wave of destruction and fear that is already here and scaling up at a pace we can only guess at.

If the pro experimental injection people are correct, then our sovereignty and autonomy is best left in the hands of a governing body who are better equipped to lead our lives.

Either way, we are giving up something of such huge proportions. I don’t think there’s a single one of us yet who’s felt the deepening scale of this.

Raging at it, or turning over and accepting it feel like two polarized ways of starting to work through it, but there’s still a huge no man’s land that I haven’t seen anyone step into.

In that no man’s land is something to feel.

Trying to describe it almost does it a disservice, for it can only really be felt, not described. But it has something to do with mourning and grief on a scale we haven’t known in this life.

Life as you and I knew it is changing rapidly, daily and minute by minute. Something big is dying and not returning, regardless of which side of the issue(s) you find yourself on.

People on both sides of the polarity believe they have spared themselves from some personal suffering. ‘According to their beliefs’, as Yeshua would say, ‘so be it unto them’. Beliefs are such strong personal reality creators, but they only go so far.

There’s a shared reality that whether it’s recognized or not, is happening. That reality is the shared boat we are sailing in. The hole in your end of the boat IS actually an issue to me. There’s only one boat, even as we are afforded individual bubbles within that boat, but OUR boat is sinking.

We all chose to be a part of this transition, and to give up a quality of an old life to be a part of anchoring in a new life. Whether you are injection injured, (and my heart breaks for you if you are) or out promoting getting the next booster, we are going somewhere.

There’s somewhere we won’t be returning to.

That change calls into question every plan, every intention, every purpose, every sense of meaning. All of it is up for continual revision as we sort through what can and does feel crazy making and disorienting.

Nothing makes sense in the old way. In the interim, we’re all grasping for the new way that isn’t quite here yet.

I don’t know any other way to be with it, other than to feel this surrender to what is, open my heart to being further activated into this care for myself and our beautiful collective that would choose such transition through such confusion as a planetary group soul’s higher choice and service to the divine’s unfolding of itself through us.

WE chose this. WE created it. The polarity is of OUR creation. When you accept that, you get baptized into being a YOU in service of the WE.

You get to care. You get to feel. You get to mourn. You get to weep the tears others aren’t ready yet to weep. You even get to thrive in love as you take part in honoring the death all around.

You get to be in the real moment that is here now.

And in that moment we see that the deeper our polarities, the deeper our shared reality.

Raphael

We are offering a gathering place of community engagement around a shared new experience of life in community, vulnerability and transparency at https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/, in exchange for $22.22 USD per month. If you feel drawn, we would love to have you join us.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Spiritual Mastery As An Avoidance Of Vulnerability

By  Raphael Awen

The path of spiritual mastery or attainments has been basically useless to me for several years, other than to often trip me up in comparison or self judgment games.

The thing was, I used to be able to muster some impressive consistent self discipline and regimen, set goals and stick to them, and that way of being in life doesn’t let go easily, even as it collapses at the same time.

I don’t think I’m alone in this by a long shot. I think what I’m feeling personally is more of a reflection of what the masculine is coming to terms with now as consciousness itself shifts and changes.

Mastery served us well for a time to come to know our power. It moved us from an inferiority complex, but now threatens us with a superiority complex. Both however are non-relational and both are non-vulnerable, and both don’t actually have mastery over anything in the bigger picture of what we really want and need.

At nineteen, I went out jogging every single day for over a year, without missing a day, rain, snow or shine. How I felt didn’t matter, other than holding onto this feeling of I can do whatever I set my mind to. I thought at the time that I’d do this for the rest of my life, because with each passing day, my record of achievement was getting bigger, better as well as harder to lose.

That’s the thing with attainment and spiritual masteries. They are like rolling a stone up a hill that will one day succumb to gravity, and the higher up you roll the stone, the greater its velocity and path of destruction to your self perception and who knows what else when it gives way to nature, as it is sure to do one day.

Men particularly have been so addicted to doing the right thing and the good thing, the thing that once did have meaning, purpose and even connection, with love, life and nature, that they naturally fear letting go of. It matters less how noble the thing, just heaven forbid that you should be without some animating thing.

How could something so good lose its value over time?

If all this mastery and attainment grasping is becoming an old way, is there a new way that wants to come in its place? I have my ideas and answer to this, but do you have a sense of your arising truth around this?

Maybe mastery was just a placeholder holding us as men in a place of being mastered over, until we were ready to enter a whole new dimension of mystery, coming to know our power through the doorway of vulnerability and transparency?

Paul talked about the ‘schoolmaster of the law’ being over us until being introduced to Christ consciousness, which is more about being changed in core nature. Was he already hinting at this two thousand years ago?

It seems the old way of gaining mastery was really about gaining mastery over our vulnerability and never having to be transparent. We were holding a suppressive lordship over ourselves.

You may still be feeling like a millionaire holding some masteries, but I’ll bet life isn’t supporting you any longer to naturally sustain that. All the millionaires and billionaires of today are finding it harder and harder and super costly to effort sustaining those holdings.

These feelings are coming up for me today as I have an opportunity to have a session later today with a dynamic man and big soul who has a heartcry unfolding. I could feel some tension inside and went inwards to feel what it was about.

I connected with all of my inner masculine aspects of me from this life and other timelines that I feel living in me differentiated and unique, and asked their reactions to meeting with a man.

Here’s the pieces that came back to me in dialogue with them. (It feels good to get to the underlying push and pull and where and how it lives in parts of us and their needs. Now, we don’t try and fix the fade on one mastery with another mastery campaign somewhere else.)

“I don’t like men who speak their truth as thee truth without acknowledging their belief system that gave birth to those truths. They don’t feel safe or kind.” Marvin

“I don’t feel comfortable being around men who energize their spiritual mastery or attainments. It doesn’t feel real to me. If they are onto something, I feel stuck in a comparison game or left out. Mastery just hasn’t worked for me in decades. The mastery path as we’ve known it feels non relational and non vulnerable.” Wayne

“I’d like to serve men again. I feel trust that we know we won’t hurt or harm without care and kindness, but I also know that we and you and us are going to need to be awake, ready, in our stance, on our game, with our truth, not letting reactions get internalized. Men are looking for a mirror of truth.” Arthur

“You have a magic in you, Raphael, and that gets to come out and serve and be given when you simply be you, transparenting whatever you are feeling. I like serving men because then we get to dance in the magic and be around other mens magic too.” Charles

“What an opportunity to feel the heartbeat and heartcry of men, instead of dominating or controlling them. They aren’t / we aren’t that complex in some ways. We just want connection, meaning, and purpose” Lionel

Thanks for reading, especially as a man, and maybe as a woman, you can feel this as the masculine polarity inside of you and one that is or is wanting to transmute into these new directions?

I’m curious!

~ R ~

Our online portal is one gathering place for the new. You can find it here: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Big heartfelt acknowledgement and thank YOU to Gabriel Amara for leading this charge with me while we surrender to divine timing for more men in the room.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Bearing The Burden Of Love’s Unsolvable Mystery

By  Raphael Awen

💚 Realizing that all of your awakening is only ever but a measure is humbling. Then realizing that infinity bears no measure is more humbling still. 🏄🏻‍♂️

We are all in the awakening and we are all in the slumber. Love is playing with us, dancing with us, wanting to come to know itself through us, knowing that it never will and never wants to because of its own infinity. It just does what it does for the joy, reverence awe and wonder of it all.

Love invites you to meet with it there, in the unknown, in the surrender, where every mistake is an infinite success, where every pain is the source of unspeakable healing.

You bear the burden of love’s unsolvable mystery.

You can’t be solved or fixed because even your belief that you needed fixing is all a part of this mystery of being.

This being that you are; infinite, pretending with your measuring tape; omniscient, pretending to be missing a memo; omnipresent, pretending to be in one place at one time; omnipotent, pretending to be lacking something, ALL is love at play.

You have lots of awakening to do, but not for the attainment of it, for it literally gets you nowhere.

But when you get there, you won’t ever want to go back, and you won’t want to stop dancing with this love moving through you.

Xo,

~ R ~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Feeling The Portal Of Aging W/Grace Rather Than Fighting It

By Jelelle Awen

I had one of those beautiful, expansive and celebratory days with Raphael yesterday beginning with making love in the morning, a long, much needed walk in the gorgeous mountain valleys near us, and celebrating the passionate expression weave that came through in our Beltane livestream. It was an opening out after both of us going inward to feel despair and heaviness of a mostly karmic sort together as I shared about recently. It felt like an exhale too after so much being activated by the recent energies coming through in the solar flares, eclipse, and more.

This goodness seemed to push up some more ‘oil’ to feel, as it so often does for all of us. I was feeling today with a new inner mother part of me named Hera (yes after the wife of Zeus) about the aging process for women and all that it brings up in terms of self consciousness, insecurity, feeling like you don’t matter or ‘count’ or are invisible somehow, and ‘fighting’ aging rather than embracing it.

My birth mother would ‘battle’ these signs of aging with everything she had and would be encouraging me to do the same if we were still in relationship together (which we haven’t been by my soul’s choice for over ten years now.) She would probably be encouraging me to use the ‘tools’ now at our disposal such as fillers, plastic surgery, hormone replacement therapy, and more. So I feel this emptiness in any template for aging gracefully and naturally, in the culture and in my own experience.

I have always been more the holistic and natural sort of soul. With my medicine woman and priestess roots being so strong in my soul, there is a sense of connection to the natural and the pure as being the most beautiful and resistance to anything inorganic, chemical, and invasive. Even with this strong soul grounding, I could feel in this part of me how the programming and conditioning to feel unworthiness as you age is ingrained at a cellular level.

This is becoming more heightened in me as I turn 50 next month. To my soul consciousness age really means very little and my soul ‘eyes’ do not even see it or notice it, especially in others! Yet, to my conditioning and to this part of me, there is a meaning in moving out of my 40s. And the physical signs of aging are being noticed more too now as my metabolism slows and I gain a bit of weight even while I continue to eat quite light, do yoga and other exercise. Also, I am experiencing more gray hairs, wrinkles, more sagging skin and the period cycles with hormonal dips that are becoming more intense yet also more sporadic as I move into the deeper stages of perimenopause.

I started to feel as I let Hera cry it out with me this morning that Divine Mother wants to wrap us both up with love in response to this. I could see/feel Mother Mary coming forward and just holding us both with so much sense of our beauty and grace. It started to go in and I am also blessed to be able to share all of this vulnerably with my beloved, my daughter, and my precious community and be felt by them in it too.

The aging process and our relationship to it really has been so hijacked by the matrix to idealize young beauty and suppress the wise woman beauty and wisdom from coming through. I can feel what a powerful ‘force’ this wise woman is and how much she is missing from our culture. There will be lots of interesting things to feel and teach about this feels like as I continue to experience it myself.

And I feel this is true for men as well who may not have as much judgement on them physically as they age, yet have their own internal pressure built up around their competency, adequacy, relevancy, performance, potency (esp sexually) etc. And relationships/sacred unions aging together too is an interesting ground as well as Raphael and I shift into a deeper ‘hotness’ expression of sexuality that is more and more soul based even as it grounds in the physical. Rather than going flat or dead, we seem to be moving into more depth of intimacy together.

Mostly, I am FEELING this aging process as a portal to experience my soul and Divine feminine self within my body. Not to fight it, yet rather to embrace it…..allowing the full range of feelings that come up around it along with continuing to take care and love my body in the ways that I know work for it. And I want to help heal this fight against aging collectively and to offer a new template in the mother/daughter templating relationship too around it.

We will be doing a group call about the aging with grace process for our online community portal members on Sunday, May 22nd with more info about that coming up soon. You are welcome to join us there to connect, share comments, read the many personal/vulnerable sharing there and also to join in our group call. Membership details at: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/feed

I also am very open and desirous to feel into and process this with other older women going through this, as I have in session space in the past as well. It is a mutual discovery even as I can feel the Divine Mother channeling my heart in nourishing ways for us both. More info about 1:1 sessions with me at soulfullheart.org/sessions.

Also, if you’d like to meet your Inner Mother (or Inner Father) you can find guided meditation videos to do that here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZWeBviA18Y…

Love in tenderness as we all experience the process of aging together,

Jelelle Awen